Hi! I was wondering if anyone knows any decent private clinics in the UK? I know about GenderGP and I've heard they're pretty bad with dosages, and I know a trans girl who was with them and it was bad, but is now with Harley Street Gender Clinic which is going better, but the initial consultation is £575, with a follow up appointment being £350 which is just outrageous.

Does anyone know any decent ones that don't cost ridiculous amounts of money / have decent dosages? (A lot to ask for in the UK, I know)

(Transfem, if that affects things!)

Random thought, was wondering if anyone knew whether or not I keep my naturally longer eyelashes as a MtF. It hardly matters, but I’m fascinated by the biological effects either way and I’m wondering if anyone has documented anything on this.

I have been on HRT for over 11 years, have had an orchi and trach and am scheduled for FFS in September. I've wanted FFS for about 15 years now and am very excited, at least during the morning and day. But when it gets dark and I relax from all my work stresses I start questioning myself immensely. Am I really trans enough to want FFS? What if things go awry? Is it a mistake?

These thoughts plague my mind almost every evening and I can't let go of them. But when I wake up in the morning I am sure of myself and know that I want this. So why am I "sundowning"?

Before I start this I do want to State this is my first time posting on Reddit and I've never done this before, I don't understand how this works and if I mess anything up please forgive me as once again this is my first time using this app like this. I (18FtM) I'm in a bit of a situationship with a guy that I really like (25M). I'm just going to start at the beginning of when we first met. I was 17 and he was 24, we were on dating website and we hitted off really well, he's probably the only person that is respected my boundaries the most, he listens and he understands (sometimes). We had started to date and it was going really well, but nearing the end of our relationship I was having some family issues at home (my dad alienating me from my siblings, a whole other story), and I tried to go to, at the time, my boyfriend for support. I don't know if I'm an asshole for being hurt by him putting up boundaries alike this, but when I asked if I could talk to him about it he said "I don't wanna be in the middle of your family issues", idk, I felt like I tried really hard to help him when he was having issues a few weeks before this, my brother had dropped me and I was in so much pain from it... I'm still not healed, I don't think I will be from that. I distance myself a bit after that, my texts just became a bit more dry because I needed time to think and feel about this new life and to breathe. He ended up contacting me and confronting me about the distancing, the thing about me is that when I think someone's mad or upset about me I end up shutting down, and that's exactly what happened when he confronted me, which caused both of us not to contact each other for a whole week. That caused our breakup. This was over a year ago. We agreed to be friends but never really chatting unless he was telling me a happy birthday, vise versa. Now roll around beginning of November of 2024, he had texted me and we had gotten back in contact with each other. At this point we have still interested in each other, he still likes me and is interested in me (said so himself) and vise versa. So then we ended up agreeing to become friends with benefits because we live pretty far away (about a 9 hour drive) because he doesn't want to have to do with the emotional aspect for the distancing in a relationship, I understand that but I'm also wondering if I'm an asshole from being hurt from that as well? I'm not going to lie I never really liked the Friends with benefits idea and I know me going along with it just for the fact to be in his life is kind of pathetic of me, I guess I'm just hanging on the hopes of this working out which I'm starting to really doubt at this point. My biggest issues in all honesty is when we get with the sexual stuff though, I feel like most of the stuff I can talk about and we can talk through it, but a big example is that I hate my chest, I hate my boobs, if someone likes my chest that's fine by me, but don't call it boobs/tits/ect, I don't like my dick being called pussy/cunt/ect. I've tried telling him this even when we were dating, especially the boob one, and I feel like he forgets about it, I'm too anxious to keep bringing it up. I've also just recently learned that he didn't research about what being trans is both in a relationship and in the situation, it's really hurt because I feel like if you're going to be in a relationship of any kind with a trans person, knowing their bodies and how they look like/work is important no? Am I mistaken?I literally had to just make him about a week ago look up what bottom growth looks like (as I'm on T and VERY self consious about my body). I really want this to continue because I really really really like the guy, but I also feel like I can't have a continued situationship when he a. Doesn't know anything about trans people and seemingly refuses to get educated on trans people and b. Doesn't really want to talk about these kind of things. On New year's this year I had drunk texted him saying that I enjoyed his company, when I'm drunk I get very lovely on the people I care about, I care about him, I wanted to let him know that I enjoyed his company (both platonically (which proves how much I like him, it's very hard for me to form platonic and romantic relationships at the same time) and romantically) but his immediate response was "remember we're just friends" which hurt a lot. Is it ok for me to feel hurt or am I being dramatic?? I'd also like to say this, during us having sexy time, one time during the sexy time he told me that he doesn't want me going to see any other man, and he doesn't want me having relationships with any other man because he doesn't like non-monogamous relationships? But we're not dating? Confuses me even more because is he even allowed to ask for a monogamous relationship when it's only sexual? And even then it's not even physically sexual it's over the phone?? It hurts me because it feels like I can't go out and explore my life in that aspect because I'm waiting on somebody that can't even promise that they're going to be there when they're done (hes questioning his sexuality, once again, I'm his first (ex) boyfriend, let alone trans being in the mix), y'know? I also want to say that he, again during sexy time, had made me promise not to get bottom surgery for, and I quote, "not to be useless, as without your pussy hole your would be to me", which like during sexy time he normally degrades me (idk how to feel about it ngl, not too sure I like it but he does so), but I feel like this pushed it way too far. I've been having breakdowns for the past two weeks because of that. Every single relationship I've been nothing more than just a body and I'm starting to feel like that again. Which is weird because he was the only one that ensured that I didn't feel like that, and in the same time when he said that he had stopped and asked if I liked it??? Once again I'm too much of an anxious person, specially when you're asking in the moment like that (a conversation afterwards would be a lot more helpful instead as your doing it, no?), to say anything. I understand that this is most likely my fault, I mean not saying anything is on me, but I did try to tell him with my body tone and my voice tone and stuff like that, I really tried to let him know that I was not feeling it anymore? I stopped moaning as much, and i clearly went pretty quiet after that. I do have a therapist appointment on the 6th of this month, so before you guys tell me to like go somewhere to talk to somebody for actual professional advice I'm already doing that, I just want more opinions than just a therapist if that makes sense? I'm not even sure what I'm asking on this forum, am I an asshole maybe? I don't even think this will get seen but, I just need some sort of like, answers or others point of views. I know you all might seem as an asshole for a lot of these actions, but I do feel like if I knew a way to bring it up to him without causing myself to have a panic attack or have this unnecessary fear that he will end up dropping me out of his life (haha abandonment issues for the win!) could possibly work it out? Maybe I'm just being too optimistic. There's a lot more that happened between him and I but that's just what I can get off the top of my head right now, this is already pretty long so. But since New year's, and me telling him I enjoyed his company, he has completely distants himself from me, I could be overthinking this as well because he is moving right now, so he's a bit busier and tired which I understand. I just have a hard time figuring things out when it's not told to me directly as is. Yea, am I an asshole? Or what should I do to try to "fix" the situation? Do you think he likes me? Or is he just using me and I'm too naive again to notice?

Hi there - I just listened to the podcast “the tavistock” by tortoise media. I liked the way it explored the issues around the closing of the tavi and interviewed parents, children, various providers.

I am a cis woman and mother and I want to hear more like this - experiences from people within the trans community / medical community.

To be clear: I don’t align with the unsupportive mother in the podcast - it broke my heart for her child. The podcast also gave me insight into the less open minded people I encounter and the role politics can play etc.

Do you have any recommendations along these lines?

hi! I'm Mtf, I've been wondering for some time if vaginal cream was of any help for the overall elasticity of my skin (intimate area as well as other parts of the body, as I've read many studies and anecdotal evidences of cis women - and everyone really - applying estriol/estradiol vaginal cream for skincare and antiage purposes)

has anyone here tried it? I'm happy to report back if it helps me at all since I've had atrophy down there and I really don't want to m*sturbate to keep elasticity

Hey all,

I’m currently with GenderGP - have been with them for about a year now, and been on HRT through them for around 7 months. However, what with the recent shitshow that is how they handle and “care” for their patients, I’ve been thinking of trying to arrange a bridging prescription for now while I’m still on the waiting list for the GIC.

I live in West London, so if anyone has any local GPS or surgeries that they would recommend to look into, that would be so so helpful. Thank you lovelies 🩷🩷

Hello, I'm an ally looking for resources that support the claim that gender is fluid, there are more than two genders, etc.

There is a trans person very dear to me in my life, and I'd like to better understand what it means to be trans and what the science says, and I'd like to be in a better position to come to her defense.

For me it just feels like I didn’t full explore who I am until my 30s …

Doubt

I'm a cis man, I'm 20 years old; Honestly, my story is a little complicated and I would like some help to understand me a little. I apologize in advance for any errors.

Since I was little, literally a child, I liked to feel feminine, I liked to see myself as a woman. I remember that my parents would go out to work and I, when I was around 10 or 11 years old, would take all of my mother's clothes and wear them, I liked heels, nails and everything (nowadays I feel a bit disgusted by this, since they were her clothes, but I didn't wear them in a sexual sense). The point is that I grew up, around 12/13 I started to discover the erogenous part of the anus, I used my finger and started to feel pleasure, so I spent my entire adolescence like that, getting dressed and introducing objects... (ok, a little embarrassed to say this), the point is that about two years ago, I met my sister on my father's side and we started hanging out together and I felt very comfortable opening up about this question with her and we started literally asking everything about women, going out, buying clothes, if makeup, I even created an Instagram just to consume feminine content (makeup, etc.), with each passing day I feel more and more willing to become trans, sometimes I even think about going away from everything with my sister and coming out. Come on, I never came out because my family is extremely prejudiced, I would be kicked out and literally beaten, now that I started to have my financial independence I started buying women's clothes and becoming more of who I am. It's difficult, sometimes I just want to have friends and feel happy. But all the friendships I tried with cis women kind of came to nothing, it seems like there are no friendships in the female world. As for trans, some of them understood me... I don't know what to do, if I live a life as an unhappy cis person, but with the “””respect””” of society, or simply come out and fuck the rest, I tell the truth, being trans It's much more than just a dress, it's really about facing it and every day I ask myself if I have the courage to cross the line.

people always say that one doesn't need to do HRT or have surgeries to be valid and you should only do it if you want HRT or surgeries. but how do I know what I want? I'm amab NB and currently 17, and I am still in the closet to everyone, and i don't have the courage to come out, so options that require me telling anyone I'm close to that i'm trans aren't opportune. I'm pretty sure that I want testosteronblockers, just not any hormones that'd cause breast groath (korrektme if that isn'tan option) , but I am not sure about bottom surgery. I would like to have my male genitals removed, but I don't know if female genitals wouldn't make me just as dysphoric, but as far as I know there are no alternatives in which my male genitalia would get removed without the surgeon creating female genitalia, or is there? if not please tell me how to figure out if I whant bottom surgery or not.

Please excuse me if the text is overly detailed, I suppose I just needed to let anyone know

i want to appear more femenine but I'm not out yet. any tips to start looking femenine? (without like, dresses and makeup)

I'm so tired of living as a man....I'm tired of not being able to dress and feel the way I wanna feel. I'm fed up with having to do this life. I will say it's my fault, I had plenty of opportunity to be who I am, but I was never honest, with myself nor anyone. Now I'm 30 with 3 kids and a whole southern Baptist family....so if there is ever a bit of advice you take,I say, you should choose happiness, because I wake up everyday with the desire to drive off a bridge. Follow your gut, your heart, you instinct, whatever, just don't hold yourself back out of fear of hurting someone. They will only hurt for a while, not being true to yourself, will drain the literal life out of you.

Hey everyone,

I have a lot of (unhelpful) doubts about my identity. Currently I worry that my euphoria from presenting feminine comes from my strong wish to be in a relationship. I.e. I feel like "I will never have a girlfriend so I want to be a girl myself"..

I think it's not that uncommon to have that feeling of "Do I want to be xxx or do I want to be together with xxx" ? I know I'm overthinking a lot but still wanted to ask if someone has any experiences or tips on this?

Thank you!!

I'm seeing a psychiatrist and I told them that I'm questioning my gender and I think I may be a woman. She keeps reminding me I'm 23 and I've been only questioning for 1.5 months. I've been identifying as non binary since high school but thinking I might be a woman for 1.5 months yeah. Is this a sign I'm not a woman? I have euphoria when I dream myself as a woman but not always. I don't really feel dysphoria. I just don't feel like myself and I don't like my body or facial hair and my muscly look. Is it necessary to have dysphoria to be diagnosed as a trans? Maybe that's what the psychiatrist is expecting from me.

I'm sorry if this isn't the best place to ask! I (19F), have been friends with this guy (20M) ever since middle school. He's trans ftm, I'm cis and gender nonconforming. We grew up in a city with a pretty lukewarm attitude towards LGBTQ+ people; not very hateful and not very supportive. People didn't make a big deal out of someone being LGBT+, but there weren't a lot of openly out people. It was very discreet. We bonded in middle school over not fitting in with gender stereotypes and going against what was expected for girls. He came out as trans during high school, and transitioned in 11th grade. When we started college together, he decided against telling anybody about his past, and I completely respected his decision. I'm one of the only people who knows he's trans, everybody else just knows him as a bi guy. We eventually made our own friend groups and grew apart somewhat.

Recently his mood has been down, so I invited him on a night out. We made small talk, got drunk (18 is of age where we are!) and I breached the topic of why he's been kind of stressed recently. He had this complicated look, and asked if I'd ever questioned my gender. I said that I did back in high school, but at the end of the day, I'm very comfortable with being a woman. He then said he wished I was trans. He immediately knocked back another shot, and I didn't get the chance to ask what he meant before he switched the topic. He played it off when I tried bringing it up later.

It's been two days since then, and he's still being down. That much he's willing to admit, but he refuses to say anything else. I don't want to press his boundaries, but I have a strong feeling that whatever problem he's dealing with, it has to do with what he said that night. I kind of suspect that he's having some trouble regarding his gender identity, and saying he wishes I was trans could be because he wants me to be able to relate to his experiences as a trans man. Do I question him further about this? How do I bring it up respectfully?

edited for spelling mistake!

Are there alternatives to the pill form of progesterone that I could request from my doctor?

I'm not trans, so if I sound transphobic I'm deeply sorry cause it's not my intention. However I have a question, how do you feel like you desire a different genitalia if you "don't know exactly how it feels like to have it"? I know you don't need to have the surgery to be trans but for the ones who feel/felt dysphoric about their genitalia, how is it like?

Okay this might be a dumb question so bare with me. I've noticed trans women tend to have skinner thighs or not have much muscle mass or fat around d their thighs. As some one who's early on in their transition I don't want to lose my big thighs. I've been lifting for a while and have fat as well and I really want my thighs to stick around. Will I lose them with HRT?

I am 45 mtf transgender female and I having trouble with finding and keeping a job.

Hi I'm 36 years old MtF on estradiol patches for 3 months. I couldn't be happier about finally understanding that I'm a woman, and becoming one, but the process is utterly taxing. My mind is being ripped apart and reformed. Each day i find that i see and process things differently: anger, fear, joy, social connection, sex, etc. Im literally becoming a different person! This is all very exciting but id like to know how long I'm in for this trip. Transitioning seems to often be talked about in terms of hormone levels, facial feminization, and breast development. But what about becoming a new person? How long does it take to transition mentally?

Hi all Let me preface this by saying I have zero negative feelings towards the trans community. I am cisgender woman and writing a dissertation on gender bias in education. I’m incredibly interested in the topic of gender as a social construct and was discussing this question with my best friend last night. I’m also keen to learn how and why people realised they were transgender. Please excuse me if I don’t use correct terminology, I mean no harm by what I am writing and would just like to hear opinions and open a discussion.

The question was, would as many people transition if gender roles didn’t exist? Imagine a world where the only definition of being a man or a woman is just your biological sex and streets were full of people dressing and acting however they want to with zero judgement or pressure to conform. Some examples: if clothes shops didn’t have a men’s and women’s section If anyone could choose to wear or not to wear makeup completely unjudged If anyone could wear their hair however they want to If society didn’t expect little girls to play princesses and boys to play with trucks If girls weren’t conditioned to be quiet and boys to be loud leaders If women were in as many high powered roles as men If the split of stay at home mums and stay at home dads was equal and not expected of the mum

There’s so many more but those are just a few examples.

Say you’re a woman and you realise you don’t fit into these typical gender roles, do you start questioning yourself? Do you start to feel maybe you fit in better as a man? What I find crazy is that society has created all these physical and mental attributes which equate to being masculine or feminine and I wonder whether that is contributing to people feeling the need to transition.

There is a huge spectrum on gender. I believe in a world where you can be a man and be extremely feminine and you can be a woman and extremely masculine without feeling alienated from your biological sex and wanting to transition. Please correct me if I’m wrong as there must be much deeper contributors to why people transition. I’ve seen a few articles about children who have transitioned and most of the parents say things like their son was wearing princess dresses for example. But who on earth decided that wearing princess dresses is inherently feminine?

I gave Jeffree Star as an example, a gay man who presents with many typically female attributes who has not transitioned. He seems to defy many societal expectations of his gender. I feel the pressure of these gender norms are also stronger for men. For example, a masc lesbian will often cut their hair short and wear typically masculine clothes. However, gay men often still have short hair and wear men’s clothes to not stray too far.

My best friend is a masc lesbian and questioned if she was trans as a teenager because she didn’t feel like a typical girl, but never transitioned. Last night when we spoke we discussed how just because she doesn’t fit into society’s expectation of looking or acting like a woman, it doesn’t mean she had to switch over to society’s definition of a man. She’s comfortable with her gender identity now.

So yeah, thoughts??

Hi all. I'm not sure if this is the right place for this but I have a question about shopping. I am exploring if I am M2F as I am leaning towards me being trans, and I am trying to build my wardrobe on a budget. I am still trying to figure out sizing and what I like. I go to Ross, TJMaxx and places like that but selection is horrible usually. And a lot of stuff I find is horrid an tacky. Where are the better stores to shop on a budget?

Hi guys, was looking at the detrans subreddit as a pre T guy with little dysphoria so here’s my personal take. As much as I’ve done research and talked to trans people of varying opinions, I feel one always benefits from looking at the other side. I realise I need to have therapy to discuss my gender and potential other sources so that I am 100% aware that what I want to change is my gender and not something else about me, I have personally chosen to sit on this decision until I am 20 to give myself time to consider all my options. But most importantly guys, What I realised is that I’m comfortable with the fact that if I do detransition, that is okay, and that I have been adequately warned and it was a decision I made, I’m ready to take full accountability. I would still support trans people and their pursuit for transition. ..so why does that whole subreddit believe that since medical transition wasn’t for them, it shouldn’t be for anyone, like even the damn rules say it can’t be discussed in a positive way?? All I’m saying is there must be a middle ground, surely? What they do seem right about, is that people refuse to talk about them, which means they struggle to detransition due to the lack of medical knowledge/pursuit around it. Whether they’re transphobic or not, detrans people are just people who have realised medical transition is not for them, this does not make them inherently bad and I believe that by pushing them out of conversations, labelling them, and not allowing them to speak out on their own experience, we’re doing damage. Ofc detrans people won’t be supportive when they see how trans people want to sweep their experience under the rug because it makes the trans community ‘look bad’. And listen I understand why people are scared, in a world where we are watching the rights of trans people be debated every day any proof of people detransitioning feels like a threat. It doesn’t have to be. And it shouldn’t be because we can’t fight for our rights based on a lie. Whether we like it or not, these people exist and they are valid in their experience, trans healthcare is not perfect, with so much pressure on the system there will be people who were not done do diligence in being made aware of the effects, and there are those who were 100% sure and made aware and did all the research and social change and everything, but then changed their minds later. Their experience doesn’t mean no trans people should have a right to healthcare as it has saved many lives, but by erasing their experience completely we ignore how complicated gender is, how being trans is often intwined with other struggles, how people change throughout life. Detrans people don’t have to become a political topic all the time imo, they are people, they did not choose to be detrans, as in yes they chose to detransition but the very feeling of wanting to detransition, that is not their choice. They feel the way that they feel and we need to be the bigger people and accept that. There must be a civil way of discussing transgender healthcare with them rather than pushing them out entirely, because pushing them out causes more polarisation.

Edit: I’m leaving this up here in case anyone ends up in my same situation with the same questions, and I implore them to read the comments, I’ve been redirected to r/actual_detrans and it’s been massively helpful. Thanks to all those who politely helped out, what I did was draw conclusions based on a bad source without realising and that is not a crime, just something that should’ve been redirected.

I'm just a stupid teenage transgender male. I'm only almost 15 but i'd really love to become a NASA astronaut. I'm going to a high school with a biology-chemistry-math profile... studies, I don't know yet. But can I become an astronaut if I'll transition + if i'm from Poland? There was only one person from Poland in space and it was in 1978! what do you guys think?

i’m 17 years old and have a history of male pattern baldness, my hairline has been always bad but i feel very insecure about it recently and just want something to hold hope onto. this year i’ll turn 18, so maybe i’ll be able to get on it soon, but for now i can’t.

Sorry if this is a silly question, I just feel like crap and need a to vent a bit.

Even though I have been steadily progressing in my transition and I'm only about a month away from starting HRT, I keep getting these moments where I just feel inadequate.

I feel like no matter how hard I try I will never fit in with other women. I have this constant internal desire to be/feel feminine yet when ever I actually take steps towards it, I just end up feeling exhausted and I feel the old mask slip back on. This in turn just causes further dysphoria and stress which further leads me to seek femininity and euphoria creating this circle of emotions until I completely breakdown and feel empty.

It's not even a question if I am trans or womanly enough, I am past those types of questions by now. Its a fear that I'll never feel comfortable going into women's spaces. A fear that I'll never be able to relate to other women. A fear that those 24 year I lived pretending to be someone else have permanently damaged me to an unsalvageable degree.

I want to enjoy things other women enjoy without constant internal shame or that little voice telling me I am just pretending for the sake of fitting in. Without feeling exhausted and going back to old habits. I want to be a new person...

Is this a common experience? Does it ever go away?

I got with this guy and he seemed nice

I was like "omg omg omg ur sooo hawt zamm you such sexiness"

We were about to get it on then I discovered his dirty little secret...

He's one of those filthy cisgendereds, truly subhuman trash

I suddenly realised that I found his body repulsive to look at with all those hairs I could tell that he made no effort to keep himself fresh

His abhorrent scent reminded me of a dead rat overflowing with raw sewage. He smelled so bad that I could taste it and I felt truly disgusted

He sounded like a rusty tire attached to an accordion as he ranted and raved about stuff that affects him in no way whatsoever

I informed him of this and became unreasonably angry

I truly do pity his situation and said these kind, empathetic words: "Sorry you feel this way"

I truly am saying this in good faith is it cisphobic to be physically repulsed by these "people"

A man without a ___________ is like an angel without wings 😔

24 ftm in Wales 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿

hi homies, i’ve been living as a trans man/nonbinary for about 7 years now, socially living as my identity.

every day i feel like i’m about to have a panic attack because i keep spiralling about my gender. it feels like somethings sitting on my chest. I have mh issues anyway but this just feels like it’s deeper ygm?

i know it’s fully my decision but i’ve consulted my fiancé and my sister who are the closest people in my life, both of them agreed that i’ve been living socially for long enough that i know.

i just feel AAAAAAAAA.

i’m in therapy, i’m doing everything right to help my mental health but this is the one thing that i can’t shake.

I’m gonna be talking to my gp this week. I’m asking to be referred to the welsh gender service even though it will take years, time will pass anyway

How do yall know what it feels like to be another gender? As a woman, I don't know what it feels like to be a woman(other than the basic experiences)

I've never met anyone who has felt like a different gender for an extended period; they always ended up changing their mind within a year or so.

The only person who truly embraced that mindset (for an extended period) claimed they identified as male because they had a flat chest. I don’t understand that, and I apologize. I know I’m not entitled to know their reasons for identifying that way.
If I prefer wearing baggy clothes, can I then say that I feel like a man?

Many people say that gender is merely a social construct(I agree, not about the biological part, just the stereotypical shit), but isn't expressing that you identify as a man or woman based on preferences for specific clothes or stereotypically feminine/masculine traits just reinforcing gender distinctions?

I'm so sorry if this came off as transphobic but I really didn't mean it that way, just curious, and have been for a while.