No matter how old I get, whether it's a straight girl or someone who's monogamous (I'm polyam and have an aromantic partner), it never gets any easier it seems. I would never in my life tell someone to change for the sake of someone else, but God damn sometimes it's a tempting thought.

At the risk of sounding incredibly dramatic, I'll be honest and warn, I'm really not being dramatic. I realized I was interested in women many years ago but was in a wonderful relationship with a man. I didn't want to end it but could no longer avoid it and we split up amicably, although it was very painful. I entered into a relationship with a girl some time after. Although it was not perfect by any means and there were many red flags, I fell absolutely head over heels. She ended things and for so many reasons, this has rocked me. It's been about a month and a half and it wasn't the first time she ends things. I thought we would really give it a fighting chance this second time and, blindedsided may be a strong word but I was somewhat blindsided as things had been going much better and it was so romantic and sweet. One bad week and - well, I digress.

One of the biggest things I find tearing me up is the idea of ever being physical with another woman again. It brings me to immediate tears and I can't imagine ever feeling this way or being so intimate with another woman let alone person again. Perhaps for some of you reading it may seem silly or foolish given a difference in experience - this was my first and I came out later, 30s. This doesn't feel like breaking up with a man and knowing, no matter how much it hurts, that "there will be others." I regret ever falling into this call in my heart to follow this pull in my identity because this has hurt me in such a painful and specific, inconsolable way. I almost hate myself for ever letting me implode my own life just to now wonder if I could ever see another person, man/woman, this way again.

On top of that, I live in an area with no real queer community. My whole identity is tied to her and even hearing about other queer women in a casual setting stings. It's like she owns my queerness because I have no other grounding for it.

I worry for that reason I'll never truly be able to get over her or this and it makes me mad, because she couldn't care less (or just feels bad for herself). She doesn't deserve this much of me but I just don't know if or how I'll get over this or be able to see another person or woman the same way. I wish I'd never admitted this to myself. I just wish I could go back.

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Hello I'm new to posting in general so sorry for some of the awkwardness in this post. I think i just need somewhere to vent while also remaining anonymous.

I recently over the past year discovered that im bisexual at the age of 26. Late bloomer...ik. I had wondered if I was attracted to women since high school but just figured that maybe I just liked the idea. I also don't develop crushes very easily and while I appreciate people aesthetically all the time, I have a hard time being attracted to people beyond that in general.

In the last year and a half however, I've met this girl. Found her very attractive off the bat but wasn't sure in what way until we started to get to know each other more and became more friendly. I don't wanna give too much context bc I get paranoid but we've since become close friends and are now roommates. For a while I (stupidly) mistakenly assumed that she perhaps liked girls as well. She has an androgynous appearance, both with the way she dresses, her mannerisms, presents herself, etc...(for context many ppl that know her also assumed the same so I'm def not the only one) but learned about halfway through our friendship so far that she's "mostly straight."

I did eventually come clean to her a couple weeks ago, after a few months of living together because we had been spending so much time with each other and getting even closer (besides sexual intimacy lol). She started to become really important to me so i was scared that telling her might weird her out but I felt like I needed to in order to move on. I knew she didn't like me like that logically but emotionally I was having a hard time letting go of that hope. I tried to tell her in a way that she wouldn't feel any pressure. She reciprocated that she didnt want to compromise our friendship. I also have asked her multiple times since if she's ever uncomfortable with me now and she assures me she's not. So we're still close and get along just fine and are goofy and silly and even still affectionate platonically. And yet I feel utterly like shit lately.

I guess what im going through is heartbreak right now. I've made attempts to date outside of this and look elsewhere and keep my mind off her. but I'm having a hard time with it and also just don't feel right about using that method since since 1) I feel like I'm using ppl and 2) none of them look or act or are HER lmfaoo.. I feel crazy, ashamed, undesirable and pathetic. I know I should just accept it and enjoy my close friendship with her but it's been so hard on me emotionally, even though I know I'm important to her as well. I see people say that maybe distancing yourself may work but that's kind of impossible for me right now since we live together and I just enjoy my time too much when I'm with her.. I dislike the idea of doing that 😭🤣 Lately I've been trying to focus that care I have for her into being a good supportive person in her life but it's still hard for me to not feel overcome by pain and sadness as well.

I'm not sure what else to say. I just wonder if others have any similar experiences to mine, especially in the emotional sense. I find myself crying more often and being more insecure about myself and frustrated. I don't think I've ever liked someone in this way before, man or woman so I'm not entirely sure if I'm being unreasonable or weird about it.

Thank you if you read this

And you can get access to Disney+, I’m really enjoying the female power and f4f coding in the show. Cheers.

Reclaim your own power! Advocate! Donate! Organize!

EDIT: I forgot to include the name of the show (lol). Agatha All Along. Also, worth noting that the coding doesn’t stay coding for long. Still Disney, so it’s all PG!

Especially if your state hasn't protected the right to abortion. If they see you missed a period and then went out of state they might know why! Also it's important to note that cops don't need a warrant to go through your phone if it's unlocked! So if you're going to a protest and have to bring your phone, make sure to turn off fingerprint/face ID because they can't make you tell them your password.

You can guess what this is about. It's just infuriating and terrifying. I am already a mixed race latina of a immigrant family, but ya girl decided to sprinkle some queer on top. But I refuse to hide myself. We shouldn't have to. We should be allowed to be who we are. We should be allowed to be with her people we love. We should be able to have the final say on our own bodies.

Keep being yourself and keep fighting. All I wanted to do was look at pretty girls and flirt a little, but it's never that easy is it.

I’m so glad I finally got a chance to explore my bi side after a breakup this year. i’m into women now wayyy more than men…all day and night i’m just thinking about women 🥵

one of my hookups used a magic wand on me so now i bought one for future hookups. i love making a woman orgasm so much…i never enjoyed myself THIS much with men

like women even smell better and i actually like kissing now. fuck. i should have done this earlier!

I often wear different colored shoes for fun. Use there is ONE person that day or at the party or whatever that notices and comments.

My thought is, worst case, it's fun and a conversation starter and helps people to know I'm not a "square" and that I'm fun.

Best case scenario a woman notices and thinks...hmmm..I wonder if that indicates anything and looks my way and we start to chat.

Would any of you think anything of someone wearing mismatched shoes? If so, what would you think?

I'm 30f, and I've only dated men until a month ago, where I started dating this woman.

We went on a couple of dates, chatted every day, and had sex on the 3rd!

This went really fast and things got really intense, which has definitely not been my experience with men.

Everything got really emotional and she said she has decided she wants to be in a relationship, thinks about me all the time.

I'm not there because it's really fast and also, it makes me question whether her interest is personal, since we actually haven't had the chance to get to know each other. Has this happened to you?

I've also got reservations around the long term implications of a potential relationship.

I dont see this great intellectual and financial compatibility, so far.

Any advice? If we keep seeing each other, it doesn't seem like it will get casual and I'm starting to develop some feelings too!

Has anyone here decided to stop seeing men for because of painful sex?

Hello all! I’ll just cut to the chase, I (22 afab/enby) have had a suspicion that I’ve been bi for a LONG time. Like I literally came out to my mom in 5th grade because I thought I was bi but I’ve gone back and forth on it since for a variety of reasons. And I’m saying “thought” because I’ve never actually had sex with a woman (not that that makes you invalid) and I’m scared to try.

Ive only ever dated/slept with men except for one instance in hs when I was with a girl, but it was very toxic for both of us and should not have happened in the first place and we never had sex. I’ve been hurt by a lot of people in my life, deeply. And I never want to hurt someone else, but would it be a bad thing to sleep with a woman just to try to confirm that intuition? I would make that intention known.

Having come out as bi recently within a hetero-presenting marriage and growing up with a lot of conservative Christian friends, I (32F) find myself in many scenarios where people say this to me, and I don’t know how to react.

The first time this happened was in therapy, where my Christian therapist insisted she was saying this to help me feel “normal”. When I explained how upsetting this statement could be, she doubled down that I knew her intentions were pure, and that her statement is statistically likely. Ultimately I left her because I couldn’t tolerate her refusal to apologize.

Second time was at a wedding where the group of groomsmen was joking about the Kinzie scale during cocktail hour. As we were leaving later that night, one of the girls brought it up kinda randomly and whispered again “everyone is a bit bi right?” I can clearly see in this context, she’s sending out a feeler to see how accepted she would be as bi bc she comes from a conservative family. In this scenario, I wanted to take her hand and say… “I have something to tell you about your sexuality” 😅 but also, she also doesn’t realize what her words mean to a bi person.

How do you react when people say this? Do you try to take it in context and be gentle with your approach? Do you have different expectations of people or do you just shrug and move on?

Welcome to r/BiWomen's weekly megathread. Talk about anything and everything!

While conversation topics can deviate from bisexuality, make sure to familiarise yourself with and follow rules 1 through to 5.

Thank you and enjoy! ♡

[Repost from Twitter]

I've really been struggling recently with how to handle my sexuality. Here’s some backstory: I am a 31F married to a man. We have been together for almost 13 years. I started to realize I was bisexual about 11 years ago but really came to terms with it around 5–6 years ago. He is the only person who knows this about me, and he has always been incredibly supportive and loving of that side of me. Up until recently, I have been okay with it just being our little secret.

What I am struggling with is the feeling of being valid in my sexuality, despite never having the opportunity to explore that side of myself because I didn’t understand it until after I was married. I’m curious to hear from others who may have shared this experience of realizing later in life that you are bisexual after already being married to someone of the opposite sex. How did that go for you? Did you come out to others in your life and how did they take it? Was it worth coming out?

I (20F) genuinely don’t know what I’m doing wrong. I have and continue to put myself in places where I can find people who share the same interests and hobbies as me, and I’ve made friends that way. I don’t want to participate in online dating, so I generally try to meet people in person. Unfortunately, everyone I’ve ever liked has only seen me as a friend. I fell for my straight girl best friend in high school, and liked one of my guy friends upon starting college (we stopped hanging out often once he started suspecting that I liked him). Now, I’m starting to catch feelings for another one of my girl friends (21F) but I know she doesn’t see me that way since she treats me as more of a mentee. I seriously don’t know what to do; am I doomed to be in the friendzone with everyone forever?

20f ( bi-curious) it's not easy to make friends when you live in banjo and yeehaw country☹️🤠 much harder trying to make friends that lgbt+. I already have a hard time with communicating with anyone in general and i guess i feel discouraged sometimes. It would be nice to share and to hear from lgbt+ friends because my only friend is straight and alot of her other friends have tried to get with her and i would never want her to think thats what im trying to do. I talk to her about a few things but not too much because i worry. When i do talk to her about anything bi related, she definitely doesnt engage as much as our other conversations and i worry again that i may be making her uncomfortable. As far as making/finding friends goes, ive been told i dont look friendly. Im still told often☹️ along with blank facial expressions and having a monotone, im told alot that im just generally intimidating and unapproachable. I feel like I'll just hurt someone else if i do try to meet and get to know people. Its tough out here.

essentially the title. everytime I engage in queer culture, I feel like I’m appropriating lesbians somehow

After years of focusing on my career and family, I’ve decided to do somethings for myself and get back out there to meet women. It’s been a while!

I made an account on feeld and started talking to some people, however I’m finding it so hard to connect with women.

I have recently just connected with this woman who seems great, she’s my type, she’s near, she seems really interesting and is beautiful. But I’m finding the conversation with her keeps getting very sexual, like every message she’s like I can’t wait to get you into bed, can’t wait to go down on you. Am I getting the vibe wrong? I’m worried it’s a dude cat fishing, so I suggested we meet for coffee soon and she said yes, then followed it up immediately with sexual chat.

My fiancé thinks it’s a catfish and is hesitant for me to meet with them unless it’s daytime and very public, which I understand. But also I have not hooked up with women in so long I’m wondering if I’m just over analysing this. I could really use some advice from other women who might be able to give me another view.

I need some tips I’m new to this…

Hi all,

Only since the recent 2 years, Ive noted that I am also attracted to women, I think I've been surpressing it before. Now I sometimes get insecure or turn red around other women when they are bi or lesbian, even if I'm not attracted to them. Anyone has any advice on how to get my confidence back and not let it affect me. It's Sometimes difficult in situations where I am at work for example....

Thanks for your advice in advance 🫶🏼

So I was doing my hair and my friend audio message me on her situation with a girl she liked. Thoughout the audio, she was just saying positive stuff and asked about some updates with me and my crush. I gave her an audio back and left it at that.

Few minutes later, my mom called me and she asked what am I doing? And straight up ask me if I was gay. I was taken back from it. I’m not 100 percent financially independent as she pays for my car and phone, everything else is on me. I have a job, I go to school, and I don’t do anything that would cause me trouble.

I deny it at first but then she start saying that audio mentions me of flirting with other girls and shit. This is basically what she said:

•This is unacceptable and not right! • You don’t start liking girls just because you haven’t gotten a boyfriend (I’ve been single for over three years) • Stop letting other people influence you and your decision! You can’t do anything you want in life!(Ive discovered I was Bi for ten years)

She went on a rant for a while and just hung up. My body was shaking when she left and I continue doing what I was doing. I barely slept at all and been thinking of all the outcomes. I’m supposed to go visit her next week for the election. I’m nervous and worried……

This is so overwhelming for me and I don’t have a lot of people I can talk to about this.

Also if you’re wondering how she could hear the audio, we basically have like the same ICloud and sometimes( Not all the times) get each other messages and this time it was unfortunate that one.

Title.

I swear to god. I’m about to just give up on the dating game altogether. It’s like everyone hears “bisexual” and assumes “oh you’d totally love being in my open relationship/polycule/fucking whatever” or thinks “oh so you’re a swinger/would be down to sleep with us”

It happened AGAIN irl. Not the first time, and knowing my luck it won’t be the last. Girl and I hit it off at a local lgbt bar and she springs on me last f*cking minute that she has a boyfriend lurking around the corner and he’s been spectating the whole time. And it just set me off lol. I’m on a streak of bad dates, surprise poly-bombs, and “hey wanna join our couple”s from ‘friends’ and I feel my sanity slipping with every “my partner and I—“ that comes up way too late in the game.

Even on dating apps. Even after I sift through all the couples profiles and blast my profile with “MONOGAMOUS” in big neon letters, I STILL end up with couples and people messaging me like I’ll change my mind if I just talk to their crusty partner idgaf about for five minutes. It’s like people see “bi” on my profile and get tunnel vision and forget every other word I have surrounding it.

After shit got really awkward with multiple friend couples as well, I’m just exhausted. I just need a resounding voice in this that I’m not the last monogamous bisexual on the face of the earth. How do you guys dodge the assumptions that come with being bi?? Because I’m literally at my wits end and I’m to the point I’m about to start just lying about my sexuality to stop attracting the wrong type of people. I’m really over getting my hopes up with an interaction just for there to be someone else in the picture the whole time, or worse, being propositioned for becoming a third what feels like every other Tuesday.

I’m 41F and married to my husband- we’ve been together for 20 years which is a very long time. My husband knows that I’m bi, but in more recent years I’d consider myself bi/pan. I’ve never felt the need to come out (nothing against anyone who has, I’m just private about it and it’s a need to know basis). I had a mom friend tell me I was an ally because I was straight and I wanted to go oh hunny if you only knew. But anyways I was having a rough week these past few weeks and had made plans last Friday to hang out with one of my older lady friends, but she ended up canceling. I really wanted to go dancing so I ended up asking a friend from work (someone I’ve known since hs) and told her I wanted to go to the gay bar (haven’t been since before I met my husband) so I told her in the parking lot I just wanted to make out with some strangers and she said why do that when you can make out with me? I didn’t even realize what she was saying because I had no idea she was into women too (she’s also married and we’ve only become close in the past few years). Well that turned into some SERIOUS FUCKIN FLIRTING and now we’re sending each other pictures during the day and I can’t even focus on work. So, she knows I’ve never done this before just made out with a girl once, but I will take any advice. I’m literally bursting because I’m enjoying every minute of this but it also sucks not having anyone else to talk about it with. I don’t want to mention it to my husband yet, not keeping secrets but I want my own moment with this first before bringing him into anything.

I went on a date with a woman for the first time (im 30). When we spoke, I told her I wasn’t ready for anything serious after a long relationship, and wanted to take it slow.

We’ve met 3 times, and on the third date, we slept together. She booked the hotel, champagne etc.

She’s messaging daily, saying she can’t stop thinking about me. I like her, and I'd like to continue seeing her but I don’t want anything serious right now and i dont have a feeling she is THE one anyways.

Was I unclear about my intentions? How could I have been more straightforward? And how can I let her down/rectify gently? I don’t want to hurt her feelings, but this is all new to me, and I don’t want to be mean..

Me and my pals built together three mostly Safe For Work, mixed and inclusive subreddit communities for everything centered on adult women and gender variant people after our totally private and inclusive group chat room grew so big that we had to build a subreddit community.

We currently have more than 1600 member users and more than 195 posts with image descriptions accessible for visually impaired people added to the large collection of diverse content growing with new additions almost daily in our subreddit community called r/GalsAndPals that we built because of popular demand.

r/GalsAndPals is as a mostly Safe For Work and inclusive safe space built for everything centered on adult people who at least partly somehow identify with unconventional womanhood, including top, verse, dominant, switchy, gentlewomanly, girlboss, punky, tomboyish, futchy, butchy, ursine, crossdressing, androgynous, intersex, altersex, transy, transbianish, genderfluid, and genderqueer woman-ish people, but anyone is welcome to post here as long as they are respectful pals to the gals and request mod permission.

We currently also have more than 220 member users and more than 35 posts with image descriptions accessible for visually impaired people added to the large collection of diverse content growing with new additions almost daily in our subreddit community called r/DollsAndPals that we also built because of popular demand.

r/DollsAndPals is as a mostly Safe For Work and inclusive safe space built for everything centered on adult people who at least partly somehow identify with conventional womanhood, including bottom, verse, subby, switchy, housewifey, ladylike, femme, futchy, androgynous, intersex, altersex, transy, transbianish, genderfluid, and genderqueer woman-ish people, but anyone is welcome to post here as long as they are respectful pals to the dolls and request mod permission.

We also currently have more than 360 member users and more than 160 posts with image descriptions accessible for visually impaired people added to the large collection of diverse content growing with new additions almost daily in our subreddit community called r/GuysAndPals that we also built because of popular demand.

r/GuysAndPals is a mostly Safe For Work and inclusive safe space built for everything centered on adult people who at least partly somehow identify with unconventional manhood, including bottom, verse, subby, switchy, malewifey, househusband, twinkish, softboyish, femboyish, ladylike, crossdressing, androgynous, intersex, altersex, transy, transbianish, genderfluid, and genderqueer man-ish people, but anyone is welcome to post here as long as they are respectful pals to the guys and request mod permission.

We do have some basic respect safety expectations as guidelines written in the rules page section of our subreddit communities to help sustain the health of our groups as welcoming, accessible, inclusive, diverse, mixed and shared safer spaces free of judgement and harm that you should read.

We are inclusive of transy, transbianish, transfeminine, transandrogynous, transmasculine, detrans, retrans, genderfluid, and genderqueer people in all three of our subreddit communities.

Anyone is welcome to be in our community subreddits and contribute posting, but ONLY AS LONG AS they are RESPECTFUL WITH EVERYONE AND HAVE already had a sent MOD PERMISSION REQUEST APPROVED, because our subreddits have changed status from being totally private communities to being a somewhat restricted communities.

Our subreddits are only currently temporarily somewhat restricted for being in an experimental early development stage until becoming more accessible, public and welcoming after a time when we are more prepared enough to deal with more diverse types of visitors having access to our place.

If you may be feeling interested in joining, just drop a comment here below or send a moderator mail message to get permission granted to be able to post in one or all of our subreddits or if you want support to create another group.

Also make sure to check out our long, creative, diverse and inclusive lists of silly and cute user flairs and post sections, especially the "Transcribed" and "User Introductions" post sections, to familiarize yourself with examples of how and what content is posted in our communities.

Sharing is caring, because sharing new content like posts and comments in and out of our subreddits is the bare minimum enough to support our spaces living and thriving, so feel free to share our content out there to invite your adult lovers, friends, partners and acquaintances to join our subreddit communities.

The moderation is always open to answering questions and clearing doubts.

No need to be shy as we do not bite.