TW: SA.

So, is there any way that you can actually become like... More into women? I get it, the general consensu is that you cannot alter your sexual/romantic orientation in any way. But is there seriously ANY way you can make attraction to certain gender stronger?

The thing is, i am an AMAB who's bisexual but mostly into men. Like homoflexible, 90% attraction to men, 10% attraction to women. I am able to make sexual/romantic relationship with a woman, i was in one and while it didn't work out at the end, it was the best relationship i had.

Today i was touched without my consent by a man AGAIN. Third time in my life, second this year. I went on a date with a "nice guy" and he casually just touched me without a warning in various places. I feel disgusted and ashamed, why are so many men like this? I want to stop dating men, really, i know there are good men over here but i'm so afraid to try anymore. But i am naturally just more gravitated towards them. Is there really no way to make me more into women?

More of a positive vent than anything. I'm currently debating with a transphobe about transitioning being the best cure to gender dysphoria(at various levels of course). Man's saying the usually nonsense they spew and I reply back mentioning how the top psychologist, including people such as professors at Cornell university, all agree that it's the best solution. What does the man reply with? That he knows better than these people. Like yeah sure you do buddy.

Anyways just laughing at transphobes that's all.

Hi folks- I'm an attorney at Lambda Legal. In less than two weeks on December 4, Lambda Legal and the ACLU will be arguing LW v Skrmetti at the Supreme Court. The case will be the first major trans rights case in our nation's history and will determine if states can ban medically necessary hormone therapy for minors. The historic case will also implicate LGB and women's rights. We are hosting at rally at the Supreme Court steps the day of. If you live at or close to DC, please attend and let's show the nation that trans kids must be protected.

Hi everyone, I'm a 25 year old AFAB transmasc dood with 3 cats and a fiancée.

I'm sure we are all feeling the affects of the election's news. I have been working on a list of places I could move to in the event that I would need to move due to laws being passed. If you live in a very queer friendly state, I'd love to hear about your town! I am really interested in Rhode Island so far. I work in the trades and currently work in residential remodeling. I have background experience with theater carpentry, woodworking, and general stagehand work. I love indoor rock climbing, biking, hiking, would love to join an intramural team to make friends and stay active. I'd really enjoy a town that is walkable with shops and things to do. I am also considering moving countries if I absolutely have to.

As mentioned above I am engaged as well. We are currently planning to get married in September next year but those plans are rapidly changing with backup plans as well. We don't know if we should just elope now and be able to say we got married but at the same time, my fiancée could easily pass for a straight woman and we are slightly concerned that getting married could put a target on her back for being married to a trans person. Any advice for this?

Obviously this is a failsafe incase my state decides to roll back my rights and I can no longer access healthcare, be openly out or anything else that ostracizes me from my current life.

Hope everyone is doing okay. Make sure to be checking in on not only your friends but yourself during these next few months. Love to all of you ❤❤❤

I always knew she wasn't exactly the accepting type of person, but you know, I thought it wouldn't matter. But lately it's kinda become very difficult to bear.

For one, she started talking about the "there are 2 genders" shit during her birthday party, which not only hurt me, but I had to step away from the table and go cry in the bathroom. Then I had to return and pretend I'm fine with whatever bullshit they're saying.By the by, there were two openly homosexual people at the table (I'm closeted about everything) who didn't seem to mind any of it? Yeah...

I kinda thought that was going to be it for all the transphobia (and homophobia too tbh) but oh boy was I wrong.

The next time she asks to go for a walk, which I'm already hesitant about but agree. Our conversations mostly consist of her ranting about whatever's bothering her at the moment, which happened to be (you guessed it!) transgender and gay rights and these people's existence in general.

She quite randomly starts going on about how trans women "aren't real and they will never be biological women" and apparently there's "no such thing as non-binary" and that she'll be uncomfortable with a trans person being around her, and that she "respects those people enough to tell them that straight-up".

I tried to sound neutral and bring lots of examples to prove her wrong, and she just said "well I was raised this way so people shouldn't expect me, or moreover the older generation to change". Afterwards, she said:

"For instance you're quite okay with stuff like this, and even though I'm not, would you still be friends with me?" To which, I was very startled by and quite hurt from the previous statements. But I forced out a "Well I'm already friends with you"...I haven't spoken to her since and I honestly don't know what I am supposed to do.

Now, if you're like me and come from an extremely conservative country/state/city etc. you know how it's virtually impossible to find other not homophobic friends, let alone queer or trans people.

And for me, it is quite difficult to find friends in the first place. So I thought I would settle for what I could get, that being my childhood friend of 7 years, with whom I restored contact with after 4 years of not talking.

But I didn't know it would be this bad. I honestly did not.

Hi, throwaway account.

I've been seeing lately a lot of people repeating the lie that all trans people are groomers, I know that most of it is projection, they're the ones that are like that, but it's really hurtful to me.

TW: CSA

!As someone who's been the victim of repeated and brutal sex trafficking as a child it really fucks with me when people keep calling me a pedophile or a groomer. Since I'm passing most people will call me it to my face not knowing I'm trans referring to all trans people as groomers and pedos. It's gotten out of hand and I'm really sick of it.!<

TW: Sex work

!In sex work sometimes the men will have fetishes of being called "daddy" or something like that and I'm terrified that those dms will leak and people will accuse me there too, I don't choose to be in sex work, it's the only thing I can do that pays enough to pay the bills. I'm trying to get a new job, but I can't find one to even cover rent.!<

Whenever I hear of a trans person that is actually a groomer getting caught I know for the next few weeks at my shitty restaurant job I'm going to have to hear all the people saying shit about trans people being groomers not realizing that I'm literally standing right next to them.

I really don't know what to do, I tried to tell my co-workers that I think they're being a fucked up for treating trans people like this, and fucked up because most of the trans people I know are decent people, they still keep doing this shit.

All the hate really screws with me. It's to the point I'm actively uncomfortable around children, I don't talk to them and I actively avoid them even my nieces because I'm worried that someone is going to accuse me of being a groomer or a pedo.

I'm really not doing ok with this. why can't they just leave us trans people the fuck alone? Seriously, it's really fucked up and I don't know what we can do about it. Probably the worst group I've found is "Gays against groomers" who blatantly make up shit about trans people to justify that we're all groomers, It fucking sucks that the same group will insist trans people did nothing to help LGBT rights when it was fucking transwoman who started the shit back in stonewall.

Does anyone know a good counter to these jerks? Like something, anything I can do to get them to shut the fuck up.

How do I get over my trust issues and insecurity? :/

Background: I’m (22m) bi (closeted cuz of homophobic family), and my attraction leans heavily toward those exhibiting stereotypical “feminine” (I can’t think of a more fitting word rn) qualities regardless of sex. And, even though I’ve never actually dated a male, i still consider myself bi since I would definitely be open to it if I was attracted to him and we vibed. I also have interest in dressing in “traditionally female clothing,” but, as stated before, I’m still in the closet and am still nervous about coming out. (Sorry, for the long background; I promise I’ll get to the point soon)😭

A while back, I was dating this girl (who was also bi, but had only dated girls previously), and I really liked her. I eventually gained a great level of trust in her; I eventually told her that I was bi and that I had interest in wearing some more “traditionally female” clothing, and she was SUPER supportive. She was even really excited to do my make up and help me pick out clothes and everything. I was so… relieved. I was happy too, but I just felt such a sense of relief finding out that I had a partner that I could tell this to and not feel judged. I had never talked to any previous partners about it because I always felt that she wouldn’t be grossed out or something, but this one just had the best reaction I could hope for.

Several weeks later, she tells me that she has something important that she needs to talk to me about. Turns out, she outed me to her parents (as I said, she was the only person who knew). I felt my heart sink and like I couldn’t breathe. She kept trying to reassure me that they were supportive, but, for whatever reason, I just felt this deep sense of shame and… almost disgust with who I am (I know this isn’t a good feeling to have but it was there). I also felt deeply betrayed. I had trusted her with this deep insecurity of mine (mostly drilled in by my family), and she outed me without my knowledge nor permission. We ended up breaking it off for completely different reasons, but that sense of betrayal and hurt has really stuck with me. I feel this sense of fear that I’ll never be able to find someone who’s both supportive and accepting of who I am and who is also trustworthy enough to let me tell my business to whomever I want and not out me without my consent.

Any advice and/or thoughts are appreciated.

First of all, yes I 100% support other gay and bisexual people, both cis and trans. I've been trying to accept myself for years now. I kinda have, since I can't really change it, but I wouldn't call that "accepting".

And honestly, big part of why I have such trouble accepting it is because it interfered with dysphoria a lot. And I don't even mean that in a way that like, I think it's not masculine to like other guys or anything. Just literally, cis guys, esp in a sexual/romantic context, just trigger my dysphoria. Another thing I can't really do anything about. And so it conflicts being attracted to something that triggers the absolute worst in me.

And as far as t4t goes, first of all there's just no other trans people in my area, and if they are, they aren't likely to out themselves, and second, in my opinion and experience, it's very hard to manage two dysphoria's(yours and your partners), and it can turn into a constant comparison competition very quickly. And I know this is kinda selfish, but I wouldn't be able to continue dating another trans man if he got bottom surgery before me. Just an example of how it can turn very toxic very quickly.

With this post I'm hoping to find other trans guys who may feel the same way, or felt the same way at one point but managed to get over it. Or just anyone who can offer their two cents on this and how to get over it.

So I 22 (M) met this guy 24 (M) who I honestly fell in love with like I stared falling in love. I was scared he was straight but when he started giving hints he wasn’t, I started having a crush on him. Eventually I had to move away not too far but far enough to not be able to see him everyday. but I told him afterwards that I liked him he told me I should’ve told him even though I was scared. But I asked him how he was doing today he saying I’m doing fine brother. Am I looking too hard into it or do we actually have a chance. I really like him and I never felt this way about anyone before.

A 28-year-old guy from Poland is looking for interesting friends. If you’re interested, feel free to write. Have a nice day!

I lived the usual lifestyle, a lot of sex, experimentation, and all the other things to get guys to look at me, like me, and probably get down to do it with me.

Last year, I gave up on sex and everything else related to it and it’s been liberating. Since, I am not looking for sex, I don’t get into catty-competition of gays trying to score a guy in a public scene.

Additionally, not being on Grindr saves so much bandwidth, personal and data, both.

I still masturbate though, that one’s still there.

Would love to hear if anyone has experimented with celibacy to find themselves again?

After managing to argue with me damn near every day of my previous deployment and constant disrespect no matter what we talked about, I’ve decided to leave. I was with him for a while and I met his entire family and his friends, his personal issues won in the end though. I feel nothing but anger.

I am a very recluse guy I don’t party or go to clubs or have any gay friends. I do most things alone. Yet this didn’t matter to him he would first start looking at my phone and ask for my screen time constantly which I let slide. But then he would start making side comments about how I could be secretly cheating or how I was definitely having sex with someone when I took 30 minutes to respond.

On my previous deployment he would consistently insist I was having sex with other military members or doing inappropriate things when I was not and never have done, I kept to myself and I did not go to any bars or clubs. He would say things like this when he was even the slightest mad and over time it got under my skin to an incredible degree.

These last couple weeks of our relationship he turned it up and seemed to be testing me. He would consistently get mad at little things such as me working out late. I told him he could leave our relationship and that I’m tired of him and he turned it around and made it a game yet again telling me to block him first. At the end of these arguments he would inevitably apologize after I insist he does and then he would start the same exact argument two days later.

Today during a seemingly normal conversation he started spouting the accusations and passive aggressive comments again, this was apparently because of an argument we had earlier today over him doing the same exact accusations, saying I should use a picture he sent me on tinder and that I’m secretly talking to someone else (I deleted dating apps the first day we started talking and no I’m not talking to any other guy). He didn’t seem to care when I pointed out he was wrong and he just said he was tired and was going to sleep. I decided this was my last straw and I blocked him there and on everything else and I might block his family too.

The anger I feel from dealing with just that conversation has had me pissed off even after I blocked him from everything. I am so mad I can’t even sleep. I can’t imagine moving on to another relationship where it’s treated like a game of how much disrespect and pettiness can you take.

Okay so I'm having a huge issue. I've been on some self discovery shit and am coming to the conclusion that I am either agender and gay or gendervoid and gay. Except I think I'm having heavy internalised homophobia. When I think about gay couples or see them in media. I get this huge pit in my stomach and throat, to the point it makes me feel sick. I don't want to feel this way at all!! When I have intimate thoughts about them in a more vulnerable state I feel fine. But any other time I get this pit feeling. Why is this happening and how do I fix it? :^(