Okay so guys i have an idea, it might be a bad one but hear me out. I never date because i need a really REALLY close connection with the person before im even attracted to them, and by then usually i dont want to ruin the friendship by risking a relationship. SO i had an idea. With todays world of quick dating what if i went out with someone who i could sense the potential of building a bond with? Like good vibes, not totally attracted to yet but it could happen. Idm casual sex if it pleases the other person (even tho i dont really care for it) so that wouldnt be a problem. Then if i dont develop feelings after a while we could go our seperate ways? And if i do result! Is this a terrible idea? Im honestly at a loss as to how to do it otherwise, id really like to date but the way ive been trying it defo doesnt work, maybe i need to switch it up? Idk ideas?

Hi :) I, 24f, identify myself somewhere under the Ace-umbrella term, but I'm not sure whether it's demi or grey or aego or something else, I'm still figuring that out. Meanwhile I thought I could start dating again, since I now know, that I experience stuff different than others might do and maybe getting to know people could help figuring out, what I want.

So I went on a first date with a guy. And it was nice. Like we talked and it was ok, but actually pretty superficial and not thaaat interesting. Which I don't now whether it's normal or not 😅. And I felt like I had to carry much of the conversation, which I now don't know, whether it was because he was intimidated or because he didn't had much to say or something else.

So big question: how do I know, it was a good date and I should give him the chance to getting to know each other?

The last time I went on a date I had a kind of similar experience, met the guy a second time and then told him, that I had to know him better to really date him and that I most likely would not have the time, but wanted maybe to stay friends, which he said he could not imagine. By that time I didn't know I was on the aspec and he really responded in a really understanding and nice way. So there's that. So now I think I maybe should have givin him another chance to getting to know him. And whether I will think that aswell about the other guy. Or maybe that weren't in fact not very interesting dates and I have to carry on and meet other people?

How do you experience dating?

I used to masturbate every single day and felt pleasure easily but its been a month and I haven’t done anything sexual I haven’t even looked at porn which is something I would look at everyday before I lost my virginity… Am I asexual now? It’s weird I feel nothing at all but before I used to feel alot. Idk if this fits in this subreddit… Like I tried masturbating and I didn’t feel any pleasure and its not even like the sex was good I didn’t feel anything but pain but the intimacy of being with that person that I liked was what made it feel good if you get me? Is this like a PTSD reaction or something is this why I suddenly can’t feel anything I was on alot of drugs and I think he took advantage of me knowing that I liked him while I was not sober.

I am a Demi sexual with a high libido who loves touching, kissing, and cuddling, I am in a relationship with a man I love but he is a gray ace. This is my first experience with anyone on the asexual spectrum so when it comes to sex we are polar opposites, he could care less about it and generally avoids touch and I crave it. I enjoy all other aspects of our relationship but I bond through touch and without I just feel like I am with a very good friend. I don’t want to pressure him or make him feel bad but I also don’t want to just say that I’m ok without any intimacy because I’m not. Anyone ever been in a similar situation and if so how did you and your partner manage to find a way for you both to get what you need and not be pressured into doing something you didn’t want to. I am willing to try anything, he’s really an amazing guy am I crazy to make such a big deal out of being touched?

To be fair, I've also been dealing with chronic sciatica and my left shoulder went dead two months ago. I think my physical pain has also been a factor.

My partner has lied to me about some things from the beginning. I didn't find out the truth until we bought a house together. It wasn't all at once either. I had to play some sort of shitty detective, getting a bit more here and there - it sucked because each time I uncovered the truth, I felt like I had to emotionally start over. I didn't know she had been with a secondary twice since the time we met, the last being a week before our first date. This secondary ended up SA-ing her the last time - a revenge for it being the last time, i suspect. To be TOTALLY CLEAR I'm not upset at her because it happened - his being an abusive jerk is not her fault. I'm upset because I made significant life choices without the whole story, or context. I probably would have made similar choices... well maybe. See, I don't know. Sadly, she is permanently scarred emotionally and physically because of the last two encounters. I still think she's wonderful and I still love her very much but I've felt my walls being put back up. I naively thought the whole thing was a bit fairy tale, especially because of our histories with terrible people. I feel like 3 months of texting before giving things a go was BS. We chatted every day and night except for the times she saw that wang and the one time she went to a LS party. I've never done anything to hurt, leverage, or punish her for the truth of what's she's been through... it's the lying. I never deserved that. It's fucked everything, especially my trust. I find intimacy incredibly hard now. I'm helping her with therapy and working though it all but once again, I find myself a shell going through the motions.

Have other demi human found themselves with a wonderful person and just stuck like this? I don't want to feel this way. I keep looking for distractions. Many of my distractions are for the greater good of her and the family but at the end of the day, I just want to be alone.... I had little interest in intimacy before her, it rekindled because of her, now it's just in shambles.

This sucks... I'm not sure what to do... I need help. Please.

I'm sorry for the long ass text but I really reallyyy need help. I've been wrestling with the idea that I might be demi, but I'm not entirely sure. The truth is, I've never really experienced what people call a crush. There have only been four times where I've been infatuated, with girls but it's really rare.

One of those girls flirts with me all the time, and she's really attractive, but I just feel so strange and disconnected when she shows interest. It's like I want to reciprocate, but I can't. And when someone does express romantic feelings toward me, I get this overwhelming feeling of discomfort and almost repulsion. And after they confess I literally avoid them like the plague.

I've dated before, mostly guys and one girl, but those relationships never felt right. I couldn't do anything more than a pec on the lips for one second, and even that felt so horrible. It's like I was constantly suffocating, trapped in something that I didn't understand or want. I felt like I was letting people down by not feeling what they felt. And now, I find myself hurting others unintentionally because I can't reciprocate their feelings.

Deep down, I crave a genuine connection, a meaningful relationship where I can truly love and be loved. But I'm scared that I may never be capable of it. I even cry about this a lot, and I'm angry at myself for not being able to love like others do. And at this point I don't even care if it's a long-term relationship. I just want to love someone, even if it's just for one f•cking second, I just want to know what it feels like. I just want to feel love or desire or anything, and I can't.

TLDR: I think I might be demi, but I'm unsure. I've never had an actual crush and feel disconnected and almost disgusted when someone shows interest in me romantically. Relationships feel suffocating, and I struggle to reciprocate feelings. I really want to love someone, even briefly, but I'm scared I may never be capable of it.

Thank you for reading, it's really long sorry guys, please help me ಥ_ಥ

English is not my first language, so I apologize for any mistakes!
I (25F) only recently (8ish months) figured myself out as being demisexual and demiromantic. I've only dated once before, when I was 15, and it was a very bad relationship. For most of my life I've never seeked out any romantic relationships cause I never felt the need to, but now I wish I could find someone. The point is, not only I am inexperienced, it is SO HARD to just meet someone likeable in general, since I am a very introverted and homebody person who avoids places like clubs and such, and it takes me a while to get comfortable around strangers. When people find out I don't like going out to parties or that I don't drink alcohol, they always just drop me and I can't even try to build some sort of connection with anyone. Not only that, but it's difficult to come by someone who sees me more than a possible hookup. People just approach to try to kiss me or get something else, and I absolutely hate this. When I say no, they always just leave, so I know they are just looking for relief and not to actually meeting me.
It is frustrating. I am craving affection and connection, but sometimes it looks so impossible. Did someone here also went through the same thing? I don't know anyone who are demi as well, so it would be nice hearing from others

So.. Back in college, I had a crush on one of the first friends I made. She made me feel pretty comfortable to just be myself, even when I had my walls high up. In time I realised I felt a lot stronger about her than I thought. But due to seeing less of each-other and me not feeling I knew myself at that point, I never asked her.

But, I recently reconected with her, and it was good to just catch up after the shitshow of recent years had me reevaluating a lot, who I wanted in my life. I'm happy to be talking to her, and like before she's incredibly comfortable to be talking to.

However, the other feeling came back too, and it is kind of overwhelming. How I feel about her makes me happy, and if I had the chance, I would ask her, just to get it off my chest. But these feelings always made me feel guilty, like something I shouldn't have, like I'm potentially betraying our friendship, and the last thing I want to do is distress her.

This fucking sucks, I don't have much experience in these situations as these feelings are rare. I tried writing about how I feel, I tried making playlists, I've talked to close friends who say its alright to feel this way, but I still feel bad. I even tried a dating app again in hopes of blocking these feelings out, but deleted it within 10 minutes since they really aren't my cup of tea. It's such a frustrating situaltion.

I am in a relationship with a man I love but I am hypersexual Demi with a pretty strong libido and he’s a gray ace. I’m trying to navigate new terrain. I want us to both be fulfilled in our relationship and we are at pretty opposite ends of the spectrum when it comes to sex. We’ve been together 8 months and I’m not planning on leaving but I’m afraid that I am going to end up in a relationship where neither of us are happy. He’s perfectly content until he realizes that I am unsatisfied. I am willing to change my expectations and to try new things I’m willing to learn and to meet my partner where he is comfortable but I’m not willing to give up an entire part of a relationship that to me is integral to it, most of the time I feel like I’m crazy about my best friend I don’t feel like a girlfriend and I don’t know how to change that. I’m just not sure how to proceed and he isn’t the best communicator so if any of you have been in a relationship with a partner who not only had a high libido physically but who sex was important to on an emotional level and who considered it an integral part of a partnership how did you guys find a way to make sure that both of your needs were fulfilled without feeling ashamed. I’ll take any advice you’ve got. I need help

So my boyfriend (27) broke up with me (25) couple months ago, and one of the reasons was that he left me for one month and after that I needed time before I could have sex again. Also I finished antidepressants back then and still had low libido. I explained to him that I need time to be ready for sex again, and our relationship was not in a good state. I needed to know we are good to each other and trusting and live together again before I could have sex again. I was kissing though and hugging, cooking and taking care of him emotionally and financially. But he still was very persistent in trying to have sex with me. Pushing on a bed, touching me when I cook, trying different manipulative strategies, and no matter how many times I said no he never listened. One day he got mad to the point of screaming, that if I love him I must have sex with him even if I don’t want, I still said no because that would be raping. And then he packed his stuff and left. It was two months ago and since then we didn’t talk and didn’t meet. And that was 2 year relationship and we planned to get married. Now I am kind of depressed knowing that guys need sex so much and will never want me as a person no matter what I do for them.

My parents also taught me that after marriage I must give sex to husband whenever and wherever he wants because it is my ‘spouse duty’. So my ex also said he wanted to marry me because then he will fuck me whenever he wants and I can’t refuse.

I probably will never get married and the thought haunts me. Even if I want family and kids, probably I will always dissociate during sex and suffer to the point of being on antidepressants again or killing myself.

I was friends with this person for quite a while. I really resonates with him and we always did a lot together at University. It was in October when I noticed that I had feelings for him. I thought I was completely aromantic and asexual, I never wanted anything like that before.

I asked him one day and he was happy since he had feelings for me too. We spend the days together in the park or in a café and I was really happy. I was going through rough times at the time (still do) but he made living bearable.

Then the problems started. Not even a week after we got together he started constantly getting sick and calling off dates. He also became more depressed and just didn't want to spend any time with me. One day he told me that he is not able to maintain a relationship at the moment, but he still loved me and wanted to get back together when the circumstances improved. I was devastated but I accepted it, I couldn't change anything about this situation either way. So I waited until things improved.

We still met occasionally and just cuddled and watched movies or went to the city together. I was still in love with him. I think he was too, but I really can't tell now.

The entire situation destroyed me, I had mental breakdowns almost every day. He planned to do things with me but then he cancelled everything just hours before meetup. It happened so often. I felt rejected and unwanted and I hated myself for being so clingy.

But I held on to what he said in October. He always said that things can only get better. I really believed that what we had in October can still happen. I held on to that for half a year.

In the end he really didn't want to meet up. He said that he felt bad that I suffered because of him. I didn't know what to do. I can't just get over the way this entire situation spiraled down for such a long time.

He said that in order for us to get back together, we had to be friends at least. So we should work on meeting more often and doing things together casually. I was confused, because I considered us friends. I wanted nothing more than to spend time with him and the only reason why we didn't meet as often was because he didn't want to. He basically told me to work on a problem that he created himself.

Eventually I asked him if he still loved me. He said no.

I cut all contact because that's the only way I can survive this situation. For half a year this was the only thing I cared about. I sacrificed so much of myself for the chance of getting back together. Now I know that it was all wasted. He never was that emotionally invested in the entire relationship like I was, and the things he said just didn't have the weight I thought they had.

In retrospective, many things didn't make any sense. I really don't know what I could have done to save this entire ordeal. My bad mental state was the reason for him to stop loving me, but I felt bad BECAUSE he stopped seeing and loving me. Either he didn't take all this as seriously in the first place, or there were problems he kept from me entirely. Because the problems started way before I could do anything about it.

If he really wanted this to work, he could have done so much, but he didn't do anything.

I feel empty, the thing I cared about the most is lost. Maybe it wasn't even there in the first place. I hate myself for even considering a relationship with that person. Nonetheless, I don't know how to let go.

I'll preface this as I'm discounting how hard it is to find a therapist that even understands what demisexuality is and that men can be demisexual. I have an excellent therapist, and she is helpful, but therapy as a whole has ended any realistic chance for me to date.

I'm an older man, Gen X so no one acknowledges us to begin with. The real problem is in what is expected from a man. I've seen a lot of references to how men are taught how to treat women, while women are taught what to expect from men. I always pay for dates, heck I generally pay for friends too, as I have means. I open doors, walk on the street side, all the traditional polite manly expectations.

The problem arises from therapy helping me remove vestiges of toxic masculinity. I never really had any latent misogyny in me, from the basic fact that most of my friends have been women. I enjoy cooking and art museums over grilling and sports. When through therapy you start to set boundaries and have expectations on how you will be treated by others, you start irritating others, and nowhere does this come out more than in dating... a practice that in the last couple of decades has seemed to have devolved into pretending you don't care about the other person as long as you can in order to get as much from the other person. I've heard the analogy that in the process of climbing the mountain of emotional self-work you begin to realize how few other people are climbing at your own level. My ears have proverbially popped and I'm not seeing people on my mountain who are also single.

However, as a demisexual man, I'm not pushing for physicality, which is deemed as extremely feminine. I wish sex wasn't one of the major currencies of dating. All I've ever wanted was a companion I could spend time with and explore the amazing things in life with. I want a lover that I enjoy with, but I need that emotional connection before I can feel attraction. When I go on a date, and see all the games people play, I just have to say no thank you. I'm frustrated that while I've developed the capacity to express vulnerability, I have to hide even a bad day for fear of the woman I'm seeing will see me as less masculine, and therefore unattractive. I now have balanced and healthy emotional responses which are taboo and must be hidden.

It's sad that I did so much better dating when I was stoic and pushing for sex that I truly didn't want but felt compelled to do so, for those rare moments of emotional intimacy. I'm exhausted from being only seen for what I can provide and being aggressively insulted and attacked when I don't jump at every offer of sex as it damages her ego. I'm just over all these queens wanting rich jesters instead of kings.

And this isn't a "women bad, men good" rant. Women have it so much worse in so many areas in dating, demisexual women more so. Enbies as well. It's just disheartening when I want to go for a walk and hold hands with someone and end up staying in with my cat.

Yeah it's hell. Men try to go sexual too fast like after 10 minutes of talking. I immediately lose all interest and get creeped out.

I think sex is great I love it I just need a connection first, I need to know that you care and of course to see you in real life.

I have also realized I lose interest if I don't meet them like in the first week or so of talking cause is hard to maintain relationships that I don't see often.

So ideal match would be a guy that cares about me for me that wants to meet soon and that is funny. Cause that's a whole other thing some conversations are so dryyyy.

You know what I'll just delete my profile haha.

Sometimes being demi is frustrating. Like I love the way I am but also I see how others get in and out of relationships so easily sometimes and they talk about setting me up with friends or how I should be dating x y or z person because we'd be a compatible and I'm just like I don't even know them, I'm not like you guys, can't just meet someone and flip a switch of attraction. Anyone else feel this at times. Don't get me wrong my friends are great and mostly joke around with that stuff with me. But still

I have had casual sex before and I’ve had sex quite a bit but I’ve never actually enjoyed it except for when I was with one of my exes. I’ve always been seen as hyper sexual and I usually put on a pretty good act when I’m having sex but like I said before I’ve never really enjoyed it except with one person. I also think there is one other person I’d actually be okay with having sex with but I’m not currently with this person I’m just really close with them and enjoy their being around them, it probably won’t lead to anything more than just a really strong/close friendship but idk if that helps. I’ve been reading about demisexuality because I’ve been wondering about it and looked up how I’ve been feeling. I know I’m pan, but I didn’t realize there was a term for what I’m feeling or if what I read was correct?

 I just broke things off with my BF. He was fixing his relationship with his family and focusing more on himself and I can't be more happy for him. In that process tho he stopped talking to me. Maybe once a day just a hi. Or I'll talk to you later. He never did. I've been going through a hard time mentally. So not having him at all for days just felt like he lost interest. It wasn't good for me mentally even though I loved him so much and still do. 
  I understand he's growing and I'm happy for him. It just hurts realizing I was losing him. I basically lost him and my friends all at once. 
   Idk maybe I'm in the wrong. It just felt like it was the right thing to do. I just hate it. I still feel that strong connection with him. 
  

Hello everyone!! For the last year I've been diving deep into figuring myself out. Demisexuallity 100% describes my experience. But aside from that I also have a kink/paraphilia that I'm trying to figure out too. It's nothing bad or dangerous or anything, but I was wondering if anyone else has a kink that they have to fall back on when there isn't someone special in their lives that u have a connection with. Thanks all!!

Most of my life, I’ve always had the feeling I was some level of asexual. But shortly after a hiccup with someone I cared about, I realised I’m demisexual (until further notice). But like, has anyone ever wished they didn’t need sex to have a kid? No, I don’t mean adoption. I mean, I wish I could vibrate at a frequency high enough to produce my own child via mitosis. I don’t like having to go through all that crap just to have a little guy. I’d rather continue the family line by myself. It’s almost like we can’t socially or biologically live without each other, but daaaamn.

Are their any demisexual guys? I know there are a lot of demi women, but I don't hear many guys.

Mostly venting, but thoughts, advice, and perspectives are very welcome.

Both my girlfriend and I are late blooming lesbians. We both figured it out last year. She had a lot of cultural oppression, but I simply just couldn’t figure it out. I, however, somehow managed to figure out I’m not attracted to men (I identified as Bi) after having a history of unsatisfying promiscuity and then being with a man for 15 years. There were a lot of underlying trauma issues there, so the promiscuity wasn’t a “sexual attraction” thing. On top of this, I’ve never really understood immediate attraction to people, which is what confused me about my gender preference in general. I can tell when people are aesthetically pleasing, but I don’t ever have crushes and almost never feel actual sexual attraction to people.

When I met my girlfriend I immediately knew I was in for it. This has never happened to me, and was frankly a very confusing experience. We met at my best friend’s bachelorette party, so my girlfriend was already a close friend of my best friend’s. In hindsight, I think this is why there was an exception for her. My best friend liked her as a person, so my brain was able to immediately form a mental and physical crush.

Through our relationship we’ve talked a lot about our coming out and realizations of being gay, and I’ve noticed that she has different reactions to attractive people than I do. She can’t understand that I don’t feel temptation toward others. We, however, have a great sex life that I thoroughly enjoy and she is the only person that’s been able to turn me on just by touching or talking to me.

At this point, I’m pretty sure I’m somewhere on the demisexual spectrum, and honestly it is a relief to me to figure that out after going my whole 36 years not understanding why I don’t relate to others. I shared this idea to my girlfriend and she got really annoyed with me. I know she doesn’t have a full understanding, because she immediately said “you’re not into men”. She then started saying that it’s not possible because I was immediately into her, despite me explaining my pretty valid theory to her. She keeps saying hates the “label trend” and that everyone wants to label every part of themselves, and honestly it’s off putting to me as well, but it annoys me that she isn’t taking me seriously.

It honestly doesn’t even matter because I’m with her and don’t plan on not being with her, it just feels very invalidating to the exploration of who I am. She has it all figured out, and I’m still over trying to figure out why I don’t find others sexy or desire sex with others like she has expressed feeling in the past. I’m feeling very misunderstood and stupid about it. I don’t really have a way of telling her what it means to me to discover this, because she doesn’t have firsthand experience due to her being a kind of anomaly. Idk. I am just feeling very invalidated and unsure of whether I’m overthinking it, or whether it’s important since we do have a healthy sex life and I healthy relationship otherwise.

Well firstly this experience had me doubting for a minute if I'm actually Demisexual, partially because of how quickly I felt this connection with someone I spoke with a little. Though when I took everything into account I think it makes sense, because I suppose there was some emotional connection established by it.

So I met a guy online whose dating profile had his photos and some description about him or what he's looking for. Although, I find his description intriguing and something I might ask about if we continue to speak, I don't quite understand what it actually means to him. Though it seems he's for one looking for a connection with depth.

Anyway, that didn't get me going yet, though we starting speaking a little. Then he mentioned something we've in common and complimented me, not on my looks. Though I've reasons to think he too finds me physically attractive, I'm a bit of a mind reader lol.

I threw some banter, though somewhat true stuff at him about like what I'm looking/not looking for.

Somewhere like between all that was I believe the moment I realized that this guy might look like a celebrity crush I've had. Except they're different races. I find the celebrity crush attractive physically and I love a lot of his songs that I've so far listened to. They've helped me through tough times too and overtime I started to feel them on a deeper level. Like I had maybe a glimpse into what he's like and his life. I've never actually thought of music like this or this deeply before listening to him. Though I think it was around that time too that I myself started getting more into creative writing, art, etc. Which I think expanded my appreciation for the art and creative processes. I've since found out the singer is married. So I had to put that crush away which is something I prefer to do.

Anyway, the guy I spoke with also has a skill in something that I currently don't, and this also interested me. Maybe I found it to be hot too? That word is a little foreign and meh to me.

It seems all of this added up and before I knew it, I started having let's just say nice thoughts about him:

We were out on what felt like our 100th date. Chemistry, physics, astronomy, butterflies, etc. were all flying in the air while we were doing a mutually enjoyable activity on our date.

By now, the temperature outside started to rise and it was getting hot, whee! So we started a quick and I guess quite romantic makeout session to cool us down a little. Then things got intense and I almost found myself reaching the Cosmos. Though I realized we were out... on a date and didn't at all prepare to go anywhere else. So we had no fuel, that's privacy we had none whatsoever, or anything to really reach the Cosmos. By now, we basically telepathically or so communicated that THIS AIN'T OVER and we were gonna get our rocket when we reach base. So we can get to where we need to go.

By then, I started coming back to reality. I decided that I'm really not about to start crushing on and obsessing over a guy who I barely know much about. Just to find out that maybe there's really nothing for me to even crush on, because looking good on paper, and looking good getting to know each other more can be different things.

Especially, since I had an experience with a non romantic interest guy I spoke with on the phone kinda recently. This guy spoke so damn fast that I struggled to understand or keep up with what he was saying. It didn't help that I also felt he was aggressive and pushy about whatever we were talking about, I was glad to be over with the call. I realized then another benefit of making sure I speak on the phone and even video call others too. Which of course also has other benefits.

Besides the point: There was only one other guy, so far, I've spoken with, not in a romantic interest context either, who spoke quite fast. Though he was nice and seemed interesting to talk with. It was surprising how fast he spoke. Though at least with that other guy the call quality was better, he didn't speak as quickly, etc. So I could've seen myself actually speaking with him long term.

This experience also made me question, although I don't really know what influence this most, if my celebrity crush influenced me feeling this way quicker with this new guy.

I'm also interested to hear any similar experiences you may have to share.

I just had a realization that I tend to get more upset when a character dies in a book than in shows or movies, and I think it's connected to my demisexuality. For context, I was spoiled a major death in a series I'm reading and I've been venting to my partner about it and how im not ready to cry over this person, and they mentioned never having seen me cry for any character in anything we've watched together. I told him books have made me cry before easily, and it hit me that maybe the reason books hit me harder is because there is no physical portrayal of the people in the book. With shows and movies, there's a physical aspect to it as someone has to portray the characters, but when I'm reading I don't really visualize people, not in the same sense my husband does anyway. I told him when I'm reading or dreaming about people that faces rarely if ever appear in my head, it's mostly a blurred blob of features on a head (which blew his mind btw) anyone else feel like this? Am I making any sense here?

i just wanna tell someone because this was a pretty big source of anxiety for me in the beginning of our relationship and i was scared that it might fail just because of how unsettling navigating my past relationship trauma as well as my demisexuality was.

i've been dating my partner, who is allosexual, for about 2 months now. i started off the relationship, after a year of friendship and a month of "talking", with very ambiguous romantic feelings that just didn't seem to wanna catch on. i wanted to be with them, but anything beyond holding hands and hugging sort of repulsed me for the first 2 weeks of our relationship.

now, two months later, loving them feels so natural. i feel safe to express my needs and where i'm at in terms of my ability to engage in sexual activity. i find them so attractive in every way. FINALLY!!!! it's finally all clicked. i just needed to feel emotionally safe and connected and then everything else fell into place.

for me, relationship trauma made it hard for me to be willing to be vulnerable and open emotionally, which in turn made it really hard for me to want to engage in sexual stuff until i did open up. (i'm a sex neutral to sex repulsed demi). i'm so grateful that my partner was willing to navigate this with me.

ive asked this before and ive been told demi but i wanna go deeper becuse when i read about demi it just doesn't feel like the best way to describe it.

not saying this is a problem but ive noticed a pattern that when i love someone i cannot love anyone else (ive had 3 crushes in my whole life and none of them overlapped) ive been dating my boyfriend for 10 months now and i havent found anybody else romantically (or sexualy) attractive. whenever i search this up on google it just says im mono but it has to be more than that since i know people in mono relationships can still develop crushes (ie celeb crushes) and stuff. i just cant. at all. i know becuse with my first boyfriend all my friends called him a red flag (which he was) so i tried being romanticly intrested in someone else who was 'my type' but it didnt work

is this a sexuality thing or more of a mental health thing? and if anyone knows anything can they help. i just really wanna put a simple title instead of explaining it to others

Ok i didn't know what to title this. I am incredibly demisexual, I have only ever been romantically or sexually attracted to my partner.

They however are not. They are very open about being sexually attracted to the vast majority of people. Almost the exact opposite to me. And it confuses me a lot. As long as they don't act on I don't really mind tho. And I trust them, I know they would never.

My issue is when it comes to their past. We were friends prior to dating and there was a time when I had feelings for them but was not in the right place to tell them. During this time they dated other women and got drunk and made out with someone at a club. And honestly I find it so disgusting. That they were out doing that while I was in love with them. Long story short it broke me.

We are in a good place now but their friends keep bringing up things like this and everytime it makes me feel sad and invalided about his feelings for me.

I just don't know what to do. I've tried to explain how it affects me but I can't seem to find the words. Like I know they have a past before me but I don't want to know about it.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

I'm so depressed. I want to date but its all hooking up first and i just cant do it. I dont have sexual attract with someone until i understand them better. And when i do finally connect and fall quickly, they turn out to be married. It makes thing worse due to the nature of the type of men I like it's such a small field and no quality men who stay long enough to talk.

I wanna just give it all up.

Genuinely not sure if these go hand-in-hand (to an extent) or if it's just a coincidence, but do people not hit on you?

I'm 25, female, and theoretically pansexual and I've never been asked on a date or even a hookup. I'm always everyone's bff, but when it comes to actually wanting to pursue romance with me, no one ever asks/offers/indicates interest. It's interesting bc I don't actually want anything more than friendship from the ppl in question, BUT I can't help but notice that they're feeling the same way about me. Which is a weird type of bummer.

Its illogical to wish to be hit on when I'm most likely going to turn them down - I definitely see that. But why is it happening (or, rather, NOT happening)? Is it a vibe I'm putting out there? Is it just me or is this a common demisexual experience?

I had my first semi sexual experience a week or 2 ago and I felt kinda disgusting afterwards and didn’t like my self for doing it

The girl I did it we are friends and I know it’s not her fault and I don’t blame her but I find the idea of sex nasty but still want it when I’m horny and idk what that means

I feel semi romantic feelings towards people but not a lot it basically just a crush and never goes beyond that honestly it goes away fast and I don’t feel any romantic attraction towards the person much after words only wanting to help them and be their friend

I’m not sure where any of this puts me In any of the spectrums and am quite confused on what I am

If anyone has any input please and thank thank you

P.s have a good day

Just wanted to share some of my work. But I thought I'd ask first. None of it is NSFW.