I cant be the only one that doesnt understand and is slightly offended by straight girls desire to have them and their best friend "be confused as lesbians" together right?

Like I see post after post of non wlw people going "never beating the lesbian allegations 😝" and I just kind of sit there like 😀❓️

And alot of the time these comments are made by girls who would have 100% bullied me for being a lezzer. Like i, like many other wlw, used to have girls be like "omg dont have a crush on us" and one time I got into a situationship with a girl who wanted to prove she could pull a lesbian and it was like, a soul wrecking experience.

Like last time I checked im pretty sure im not an aesthetic and actually a girl who likes girls- I could be wrong though, the starwars t shirt and red flannel should be an aesthetic IMO.

But yeah, just wondering if im the only one weirded out and kinda offended by this

I had a lukewarm first date and idk if I should ask her out again. It was fine. We had conversations but it didnt really flow. It wasnt like there were silences or anything but just not the conversational flow I'm used to.

I do think she is attractive and based on her body language i think she feels the same about me.

How do you decide to go on a second date or not?

My flirting skills are pretty decent on-line, on the phone, hell I've even been called charming and been able to fluster some people. I can usually pick up quicker if someone is being flirty that way. Irl I brush it off, playing it off like " aw they're being nice" . Or it'll dawn on me weeks later oh shit they were hitting on me. It's taken dates having to pull the * pinned against the wall bit* for it to register. I can spot when other people flirt and hit on others but when it comes to my own. It's gotten to the point my own roommate have stepped in and told them " hey my friend is dense as fuck, if you like her say it, or she won't get shit" they've even had to explain to them they need to elaborate on what kind of "like" they mean.

I hope it’s ok to post here. I’m hoping this community can help me! This is consuming my life!!

I confessed feelings for my friend she is a lesbian and has made me realize that I too like women, but have been in denial for years. She thinks I’m straight but never directly asked my preference. She also waited a year to tell me she is gay. For more back story please read the previous post from my profile. Anyway. I thought we had something, I’ve never felt this way about someone. I can’t be near her without sweating, I can’t stop thinking about her. I haven’t seen her in months, but my feelings still remain. Sometimes when we would talk others would approach and then ask if they had interrupted something important. Like anytime we talked, everything else disappeared, and when people would try to join our conversation they felt as if they were intruding. We would often sit and talk for hours. It was rare that one of us would just pop by. We would get sucked into each other then realize hours had passed. At first I wasn’t going to say anything. After a while I realized I could not he her friend. I could not get myself to see her that way again. My feelings were suffocating me. I really thought she shared my feelings. Due to glances, lip biting, treating me completely different than those around us, occasionally a light touch (like our thighs or feet under the table), but perhaps it was just normal proximity. I’m a touchy person and these things would normally be fine. I’m assuming she was gauging my reaction, I unfortunately always pulled away. Feeling guilty that I enjoyed her touch, when we’re supposed to be friends. I finally told her how I felt though I explained it very poorly, but was clear my feelings are romantic. Her response was very accepting. She said she saw us as friends and valued our friendship. I told her I couldn’t be her friend, I really can’t. I can’t see her like that, I tried so hard. But I know myself enough to know I probably would have pursued her anyway, I can’t help it.

Here’s where I need your help. She denied noticing anything different about how I treated her and said she had no idea. I was really hurt and surprised because I’m nearly certain she felt the same. It also devalued all the moments I thought we shared. Once after an odd moment between us, where I’m pretty sure we had a silent fawning over each other, like long silent pause and unbroken eye contact. She wouldn’t speak to me for weeks after. The next time I saw her she hid and when she realized she would have to say hi, she literally ran out of the building telling she would reach out in a couple weeks.

So my question is…, would you lie about your feelings in this situation?

I don’t mind us not being together, but it kills my soul to think we didn’t actually share these moments. It makes me feel delusional. Please share your thoughts. I would be so grateful for your perspective. Thanks in advance. Again I hope it’s ok to reach out to this community. I don’t know who else to ask. My therapist is a man and hasn’t been much help. Other than to tell me I don’t suffer from delusions and I have a firm grip on reality. PLEASE HELP!!!

Also. I realize now that I’m not completely straight, but don’t care about labels. You can’t help who you love. Call me what you will.

I have been more and more atracted to a girl i study with, and while that's great, it makes me focus too much om my bad parts- on how after running to class my sweat smells and it doesn't go away, about all the imperfections in my face and hair, I question all of my words and clothing choices, every time I go to the bathroom and feel the intense disphoria of being post op, I remember even if something worked out, I'd still feel so bad about my body, imperfect and gross

Hey everyone, so basically I was in a bar with some other friends and we started talking about hygiene and I said that I cannot stand smelling bad, and I said my hygiene routine, I wake up, drink water and take breakfasts while I leave my windows open so my room gets ventilation, then I do my bed I change my bed sheets every week and then I take a shower I was my face with special soaps so I do not get acne and full wash my body really good then I dry my body and my hair and get deodorant, cologne and sunscreen. Also I mentioned that every Sunday I do a full house cleaning, like cleaning the bins and the toilet, but somethings like the dishes I do them every day.

The thing is that my friend said that me changing my bed sheets every week and flossing my teeth every time I wash them is weird and unnecessary and that I must be a germaphobe I told her that I am not and that is just basic hygiene.

She then said that she saw this as a red flag and that she could not be with someone that does this and told me to talk this with my therapist, this last thing bothered me since she know I am going to a trauma because I was sa when I was 8, she also said that there is no need to change the sheets every week and that once a month is more than enough.

Now I am worried, do you guys see this as a red flag? Should I tell my Therapist?

Does anyone actually wear the lesbian flag colors in any capacity? Personally, I dont. I have a chain mail bracelet in rainbow colors but that's mostly because I like the colors. They look nice. Besides, everyone knows rainbows are gay, I don't feel like I need to be more specific than that.

I see the bacon flag all over the internet but honestly I can't remember the last time I saw it IRL...

Anyway, just curious about this one.

Ladies and gentlethems, find yourself a funny wife.

The only guarantees in life are that it will end one day and that until then you'll face all kinds of struggles- things you both did and didn't expect.

Having a partner that makes you laugh and with whom you share a sense of humor will keep you sane(ish) no matter how awful or hard things get. In the decade plus we've been together my wife and I have had to face all sorts of things: some beautiful beyond words, some horrifically scary and gut-wrenching.

My wife is a lot of things- artist, writer, cancer survivor, activist, but more than anything she's an unrelenting smartass. I love her so much for that and and every day I have to pinch myself that we found each other and fell in love.

As things in the U.S. continue to devolve into madness, humor will be more necessary to survival for wlw than ever before. Find yourself a funny wife. Make her laugh. Tell her how wonderful she is and how happy she makes you. That's it, my single best relationship advice.

I feel like I gotta get that dream body before even trying to get out there and date again.

Has anyone used the dating app Omi? Does it have the option to choose women as your preference?

I previously used Her, no results Tinder, a bit of results Lex, a bit more of results

And now I'm thinking of trying something new

Women are just so special! So beautiful! So talented! So amazing!! All of you are!! I just love women!! It feels so freeing to be able to say this to someone!! I needed to say it!! Women are amazing and should be treated with every good thing in the world! I can't stress any of this enough!! You all rock!! EVERY LAST ONE OF YOU!!

My ex dumped me one year ago after two months of dating because she was scared of her homophobic parents (understandable) but now she fully accept herself and we still kept in touch after everything but we never addressed it

And one day we met up at a café to chat and I brought up the topic of "that" because we agreed to talk about it and she told me that when she broke up with me she still loved me but she couldn't tell me that (obviously)and she still loved me for a few months after that and after this talk we became best friend and all the awkwardness from before vanished

But in my head there was a lot of potential wasted (idk how to say it) and basically we're really compatible and so I thought to myself "should I ask her if we can try again?" and for the story, I am completely over it, I even had two crushes during this time so that's not a story of "I want to win back my ex" it's just "what if we try again?" and I talked about it to a friend and she said "try it you never know" but maybe she'll reject me, I'm scared of what people could think and that they can all think I wasn't over it after all

But there's this girl in my class who I really like but never got to talk much but I have this little crush on her and idk if it's i just want to be her friend or be more but since we talked only one time I kinda lost romantic interest and it's more about being friends,

But anyway, my friend says I should try and saying we don't care about what other people think, and after our talk with my ex we both said that we love each other very much (she even said it after our met up) so, should I try saying something like "I thought about it" nothing official or just say nothing

What should I do?

Oh and also my friend said "as long as it's not toxic I don't see any problems"

Edit : forgot to say I'm not in love with her just thought about trying

Hey all, I'm questioning some things, especially Im questioning myself 😆 Topic would be related to mostly late lesbians probably, but maybe others can relate or help out with this aswell.

I was wondering if anyone here has ever been in a lavender relationship. gay male-lesbian female relationship. Or partially like as a lesbian being with a hetero-cis. temporary or still in it by choice. A little background; I am in a m-f relationship, and never had a f-f experience. Because I know I'm not straight at all, my partner lets me free to explore being me, even if that means I turn out to be lesbian after all. But... Now I'm getting confused cause it woke up a intens interest to women, that I couldnt imagine liking any man in the first place 😅. Dont get me wrong, and this confuses me: I have a loving, safe and perfectly good relationship with him; I wouldn't want to lose him in this lifetime. Meanwhile all I think when I read in here is; I just wished he would have been the woman I long for when I read in these threads, in stead of the man I allready love dearly...

Has anyone experienced this during a m-f relationship? Did you stay or leave? Or is this the turning point that late lesbians go through? I've tried not to make this a long story, so I'll just post this and see where it takes me ☺️ thankyou!

looking to get up to something gay one saturday evening with my girl. love the beat but just wondering if there was anywhere else to grab a few drinks, have a bit of a boogie... etc.

I’ve been in the same crusty ass style since 17 it’s literally just a plaid shirt and jeans also I’m 5 ft 3 and petite build SOMEONE HELP EVERYTHING I BUY LOOKS WEIRD ON ME.. ✨

If ya'll could see her in her fuzzy grinch Christmas pajamas, playing Ark:SE.

My wife was telling me the other day that she learned that historians found evidence that the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah were likely hit by an asteroid. >! For those unfamiliar, those are cities named in the Bible as very 'sinful' places, where among other things being gay wasn't looked down upon. Early in the Bible they were completely destroyed by some kind of fire from the sky, and "anyone that looked back turned into salt". !< She called me laughing oddly enough, and finally came to the conclusion that: "You're telling me that 3600 years ago an asteroid hit the ancient equivalent of Las Vegas and they said ".. . IT WAS THE GAYS. They can never be allowed to have sex again!" And they're still on about it TODAY?!" And I mean... kinda yeah lol.

Also an extra anecdote to get the taste of religion out of your mouth: so my wife and I (who are both 33 years old. This is relevant) went to pay rent a few months ago and long story short we needed to do so via cashiers check. Ya'll that know, know that sometimes the machine isn't working or whatever and you have to go to multiple stores, but it was late and long story short we ended up at a gas station chain that we know does them. So my wife walks up to the cashier: a guy somewhere in his late teens or super early twenties. And she's like "can I get a cashiers check?" And he's like "what is that?". I look over at her and she's 404'ed trying to figure out how to describe this; she's like "I give you cash... and you turn it into a check?" He's still like "idk, you're sure we do that here? Let me call the manager". He comes up and ofc the machine isn't working. Eventually after a few more stops we got our cashiers checks and went home. We climbed into bed for the night and she curled up and got to snoring all cute like she does. Then literally 15 minutes later she rolls over, looks at me and goes "Babe... he called me GRAM GRAM 😥" Turns out she had a whole dream where she went to the store and asked for something and the people at the store told her she was old and started calling her "Gram Gram". She'd recently found her first gray hair too so I actually had to give her a big snuggle and assure her that she isn't anywhere near getting truly old yet lol.

I'm hoping to write my first novel soon, and I've got a basic plot set out. It's gonna be somewhere on the drama/tragic/thriller spectrum, and set in 2024. I'm wanting two wlw relationships to be center stage, a happily married lesbian couple that I'm loosely basing on my relationship, and the other involves a raised homophobic woman going through a midlife crisis who starts exploring her bisexuality with a butch woman who is head over heals for her, even though her midlife crisis wreaks havoc on the local lesbian community, and they obviously all know each other. It's gonna have bar dating scenes, but all my experience is online and later 20's. I'd love to get ideas and things that you'd like to see if you were reading this book. (Also, my goal is for no lesbians to die in this book; we need a win). Thanks all in advance!

I’ve thought I’ve liked women for a while but I’m genuinely so scared to do anything ,women make me so nervous how do you guys do it

I’m 17 and recently realized I’m a lesbian after years of thinking I was straight. I came out to my small friend group of four, and they were supportive.

A few weeks later, I reposted a couple TikToks about being in liking a girl(a classmate). But as soon as I did, my friends began privately questioning me about who I liked, half of them even asked if it was them. They also keep stalking my profile and social medias, almost like they’re looking for hints?

Mind they’re all straight and have boyfriends. But keep pressuring me about liking them.

I’ve already told them I don’t have a crush on any of them, but they’re each convinced I’m love with them. How do I make them understand I AM NOT.

Sunday February 9, 2025 - The third space and coffeehouse takeover you've been waiting for! Gather with other book lovers in one of Seattle's best coffeehouses to read your own chosen book in a quiet space.

Here's how it works:

3 PM - 4:30 PM: Bring your own reading, grab a delicious drink, wear a pride pin or have a small pride flag displayed at your table and settle in for reading.
4:30 - 5:30 PM: Participants may approach and talk with others who have arrived about the books they are reading.

For location and more details visit:

https://www.instagram.com/honey_drop_events/

Ok, the title is true, but misleading. She did not cheat on me.

We’re both poly, and have discussed trying to find other people to date. We also both agree that neither of us want to date someone who isn’t dating us both, because we don’t want to have to divide ourselves. But we haven’t so far.

Another bit of context: she’s living in a different town for college. In just a few days, she’s coming back to me, and she’s not been feeling good at her course, so she’s gonna change courses to something here. That means we’ll be living together from now on permanently and I couldn’t be happier.

But a couple days ago she told me she’d been flirting and mildly crushing on a girl there. And asked me how I felt about it. I said it was ok, and that if she wanted to kiss her that was fine, but nothing more. Today she did. She told me about it.

And now I feel weird.

She’s told me nothing else (more kissing, or anything else) will happen without my agreeing. And I know that’s true. I trust her completely. I often need time to process feelings and this is one of those times. And she’s so understanding and kind. And she also said she doesn’t want to date her (in large part because of what I said before), and understands and accepts that I wouldn’t be comfortable with her having intercourse with her either. All that is settled.

Now, on the one hand, if I knew this girl, I think I’d probably be a lot less conflicted. Especially if I were there and could participate. BUT, as it stands I don’t really want anything else to happen, not without me knowing her. It feels too weird for me. My girlfriend also gets this.

The things that are conflicting in me is: 1) I don’t feel comfortable with her being with someone I don’t know, and while she’s far; 2) but I’m afraid I’m being selfish (though she says I’m not); and (the thing that throws a HUGE complication into my feelings) 3) I’m kinda turned on by the thought of her kissing/being with someone else.

And…I’m having trouble processing and sorting through those feelings. If anyone has any helpful thoughts it would be greatly appreciated

So my wife and I got into an argument that was pretty heated tonight. She made the statement that she didn’t want to fuck me because I was a disgusting human being. The argument was about tone of voice and attitude when speaking to others. Well we haven’t had much sex over the last few months I had concluded due to prior conversation that it was because of our busy lives but now I feel like it may be because she doesn’t like me anymore. Do I assume she was just mad and talking shit or what? This is really weighing in on me and I’m so damn embarrassing/feeling like I want to cry, that I don’t even feel comfortable asking her about it.

Sorry if this isn’t allowed or rubs anyone the wrong way. I want to get a temperature check on a dating preference and maybe some advice.

My general attraction pattern is that I’m attracted to the estrogen features and somewhat repulsed by the testosterone ones (smell, shape, voice pitch, hair, rougher skin, all of it). I am totally happy dating transfeminine folks on HRT, regardless of parts. But I don’t date trans men (because identifying as a man is a turnoff, regardless of hormones), and I generally don’t date transmasc people if they’re on T, because I figure even if I’m still attracted to them now, I won’t be down the line. And being attracted to things that make someone dysphoric/repulsed by things that make them euphoric just seems like not a great setup.

But it feels a little more complicated when someone goes on T after I’ve already started dating them. It’s happened twice now that someone casually mentions they started T, obviously not expecting it to matter to me, and I feel bad about making a big deal about it, especially since I’m still attracted to them at the beginning. The last time this happened, the person ended up deciding they didn’t want to date lesbians and broke up with me before I had the chance to.

It’s happening again with someone who’s more of a hookup buddy than a partner, and I’m not sure what to do. Should I break it off immediately? Should I mention T is why? Or should I wait and see if/when I actually become not attracted to them anymore and/or have a convo about transition goals (I know some people go on it just for a few months and then stop, which might be ok with me)? Is this a legitimate preference at all, and how do I be sensitive and avoid hurt feelings?

Thanks in advance! And lesbians on T are obviously still valid lesbians - I just might personally not want to date them.

Hey there,

I live in Australia and can't seem to many sapphic friends (small town problems I fear) so I thought I'd give this a go. If you are a sapphic living in Australia please feel free to reach out, I'd love to make some more friends. And if you know of any online communities for us I'd also love to hear about them. I'd love to have some more friends to chat with or play video games with.

Hi everyone!

Some background information about me. I am 17, and have labeled myself as bisexual for a few years now. When I was about 13 I came out as lesbian, but as i entered highschool I changed to bi.

Since then I have literally non stop had boyfriends. I recently broke up with a guy I dated for around 7 months.

I am a senior in high school and will be attending college next year, and have this new found sense of freedom and I think this is why my problem is coming up now.

I don’t think i’ve ever had and actual crush until now. There is this girl, and I feel like i’ve genuinely got a crush on her and it’s making me reflect.

I never had butterflies, or a romantic spark with any ex-boyfriends. Sure I enjoyed my time with them, and we had fun, but I don’t believe I ever TRULY liked them. I also always ended up breaking up with them.

I think I may be a lesbian, but I am so confused.

I still crave male validation, and want them to like me. As soon as the relationship became real I felt wrong.

Has anyone else felt this?

One of my favorite things about myself is that I really do know who I am, but now I’m not so sure.

please help. this has been keeping me up the past few weeks.

I don't spend most of my time in the US but I was here for a few days, in Virginia Beach specifically. I went to the bathroom at a Wendy's that was close by where I was (I didn't buy anything) along with my friend. I'm very femme and trans, my friend is more chapstick but cis. We go in and some woman starts yelling slurs at her, calling her a tr*nny, pedo, saying she's there to rape children, etc. She tries to grab my friend's boobs, yelling "ITS FAKE THEYRE JUST SOCKS" but once she touches them finds they're actually real so she just storms out in a huff.

Some disgruntled employee who looks like she wants none of this comes in, looks at the two of us, shakes her head and walks out. As we come out, the employee is telling the woman to mind her own business. My friend is kind of shaken up, she's never been grabbed like that so randomly, let alone in a place she's supposed to feel safe aka a women's bathroom ie no men. TIL women can sexually harass strangers.

Worst part is this woman was like 25, she was not some grandma like you would expect, she was wearing one of those "Christian dresses" if you know what I mean, its right wing fashion, I seen them in some weird online movements. Anyway we're not gonna press charges or anything we're not even gonna be in the country long enough to do anything plus we have no proof lol just wanted to vent and get some support.

Me (27) & my gf (27) have been together 9 years & on & off for approximately 2 out of the 9 years. We’ve had our ups & downs & we’ve been through it all together, literally everything you can think of. We’ve been through, I love her, she’s my heart & soul, my best friend & my whole life.

However… sex! Sex has been an issue for a while & the issue is my gf isn’t satisfied by what I do anymore. I finger her, I give her head, I play with her clit & I’ve even tried toys on her. Nothing. I feel so incompetent like Im not capable of pleasing her. When we have sex, I fear it because I don’t know what it’s going to be today. She said im just feeling around, I don’t know where her clit is, I don’t know what I’m doing or that she’s reaching every time I do something. On a bad day she’s gets aggressive & mean, & makes me cry because I’m trying & doing everything I can to please her. Years ago we never had these issues & she was happy with me & what I gave. Years later, I fear giving head because she’s just going to yell at me & tell me I’m not doing a good job. I’ve slept with other girls & never received criticism like this before, I know I’m not bad at sex but my gf feels me feel like I’m so bad at sex.

I rub her clit or give her head every night especially because it helps her sleep, which at every night everyday feels like a chore. But not even that, it’s the way she makes me feel, I can’t bare it, I feel so shit & she shows no empathy towards me (she has adhd) but I’m at this point where I’m questioning myself as to whether I’m at good at what I do. At one point I thought it was her because she smokes weed & though maybe it is affecting her ability to enjoy sex but it can’t be.

I just need some advice, I need something. I’ve tried switching hands & positions, I’ve done foreplay, kissing to which she doesn’t like kissing & she doesn’t like her nipples sucked & she doesn’t like when I just go straight into it like I’m rushing but then there’s been times she’s got upset because I’ve taken too long. I feel like I can’t win either way, she makes me feel like put off being with a girl. She says I’m too soft so when I apply more pressure she tells me I’m too aggressive like wtf do I do? Please someone help me. She’s said that if I can’t please her & satisfy her that it will result in her getting pleasure from someone or somewhere else. What especially can I do to please my woman, she’s the love of my life, she’s my type & I find her so attractive but we can’t go through this again. Please someone help me?

So this is the first time I feel like this. I feel emotionally safe aith my gf. And she has protective energy. And now I have thoughts of her using the strap on. I want to sit on her while she wears that and have a make out session with her and ride her. I am confused haha because this is the first time I want to do that