especially a trans lesbian, fml

hi coming on here to ask what crosses the line of fwb 😭 yk like how people say “if you guys kiss goodbye, you’re not fwb.” it’s very funny and silly because my fwb and I literally act like a fucking couple but we don’t like each other. we cuddle, her family LOVES me, i’m around her all the time, call each other gf not gf/babe, like we just ACT LIKE A COUPLE.

it’s not like we both hate that we act like this (we love it BAD) but some of the things we do Arentttt really casual fwb at all like I listed above. one time she started kissing my forehead and face and I literally was like “this is so not casual” 😭

so idk I just came here to ask if anyone has had a fwb and if u guys acted like this 😭 what kills me is that I know it’s gonna end (not soon hopefully) and i’m gonna be like … Really fucking sad but we will still be friends just… no benefits 💔💔

i really need help figuring this out...

i definitely get TURNED ON when i fantasise about women, but after hours and hours binge watching lesbian porn and listening to audios, i can never get myself to climax.

a few minutes into watching males pounding their dolls (i don't watch mxf/straight porn), i can instantly get myself off.

i feel guilty.. because i know in a heartbeat i'd choose being intimate with women than i do with men. i am very sure of my sexuality (as i am bi), and i only exclusively think about women when it comes to the emotional aspect of sex. i defintely would choose having a wife to spend the rest of my life with than a husband. i don't get it.

My girlfriend's friends revealed that you have to deactivate your Hinge profile after you get into a relationship. Neither one of us knew that. We just thought you delete the app off your phone and tada. Now her friends want her to download the app and see the buildup of likes and messages on her profile, which has been dormant for over a year. Because it's been such a long amount of time, they think there will be a huge juicy backlog.

I feel weird about it but everyone else seems to be okay with it. My reasoning is, what's the point? To me, it would be egotistical and flattery to view potential people you could have dated or the amount of people that want to hook up with you. She said she just wants to see the ratio of men to women to affirm her bisexuality or something, where she hopes to find that more women liked her profile than men. It seems weirder to me because she will have to go through each profile to see who liked her since the rest are blurred out, which will mean seeing each face, profile, and message sent. And to view it with her friends seems like a game? But won't they just comment how cute this person is or how silly or delusional that person is? I'm having trouble seeing what the excitement and fun is about doing this if not because of that.

Her friends said to let me know her plan before she downloads it again to do this. I said I guess it's fine for her to do, but I definitely wouldn't want to be there. She asked why not to which I stated my reasonings mentioned above. It's weird to me that she would want me there?

I mean I can be the jealous type. Maybe I am the weird one. What are your thoughts?

I just don't think I'm that person? I'm not sure what everyone else on the planet is doing differently, but half my ex partners literally hated me and stayed with me to gain something. Other half was barely into me.

I'm not sure what's so wrong about me? I always try my best to make my partner feel seen, heard, appreciated, understood, and attractive. I always ask how they feel about commitment, touch, intimacy, monogamy, etc. Everyone I'm with always matches my answers and vibes, but it's rarely the truth and is usually just to get something from me. I've been learning about setting my own boundaries and thinking about what I want.

I always try my best without overstepping or trying too hard, yk? Just usual respect and kindness and consideration. I'm also very romantic, its my favorite thing.

My friends have said I'm very kind and gentle and loving and attentive and would make an excellent partner, but in practice no one wants what I have.

I just don't have whatever makes people feel romantically attracted to others. I'm not sure what that secret quality is, but I don't have it. I think I'm just meant to be people's friend, which of course I love friends but having a girlfriend who loves me would be incredible. I guess it's not for me though.

I really don't care about labels all too much but me and my friend somehow got into this weird discussion on what a mix of masc and fem actually is. I think that Dressing tomboyish and wearing makeup is a good mix but she seems to think that you have to have atleast a couple masculine features to be considered both. I have zero masculine features because i'm short, have no muscle, kinda have a baby face with long hair so she says that i'm a fem even if I dress like a boy. What do you guys think??

So this girl I have been hanging out with is bisexual and has a boyfriend, we have kissed multiple times and she went down on me … I didn’t know she had a boyfriend till recently when she told me and then she said she wanted to be in a relationship with me .. I am bisexual too and I am single … she said she wanted to be in a relationship where I can date a guy … she stays with her boyfriend but I can’t date another girl …. I was amazed when she told me that because I have never heard such and I don’t do such(I would be feeling a type of way regardless of if it’s a girl or a boy)… yesterday she was talking about a guy she has a crush on and how he made her feel … she always talks about how she has deep feelings for me and have never felt like that for anyone … i understand that this is her way of living her life and her way of going about with relationships and I don’t judge that … I always tell her how much I like her and stuffs and I always write these short notes or poems to tell her about my feelings but I feel like the moment I tell her I am not up for that kinda relationship and I can only be committed to one person and I would want the person I am with to be committed only to me…. She’ll make it seem like I played her or led her on and I will become the bad person

Here’s a story time about probably the best day of my life so far (with some of the nasty details) and i hope this encourages any fellow loser lesbians out there to just go for it. put yourself out there.

I’m a baby gay in my first year of college. i never engaged in anything romantic in highschool so i decided to finally put myself out there by going on some dating apps. ive been super insecure my whole life as im a bit chubby, im covered in eczema patches, and i have acne and scarring on my back, but i felt i was finally at a point where i was at peace with myself.

I matched with this girl on Hinge in like 2 months ago. Let’s call this girl Ash. We had texted on and off for a couple weeks. Then my main texting situationship i was in exploded in a dumpster fire, and it took a week for me to recover. after that, I decided to stop wasting time with Ash and i asked her out on a date. it went super well, we both had lots of fun just talking, but nothing escalated from there.

Then i planned this 2nd date with Ash on a saturday night, just binge watching a tv show in my dorm. then i get a text from my parents saying they’re coming to visit me on that same saturday. I love my parents, they’ve always been super chill and fun. i had a great morning with them and at lunch, idk what came over me but i had the sudden urge to tell them i wasn’t straight. I always knew my parents would be chill about it because i had an older brother who came out years ago, but i just never felt the overwhelming need to come out so i never did, until that day. they took it rlly well, as expected, but the one condition they have for my brother and i is to have biological children 🙄. whatever.

after they left, i set up for my date! i put on some makeup and a rolled a joint for us to smoke. we watched 5 episodes in a row, cuz i honestly got too high to function. but then when i was sobering up, she asked to kiss me!!(AAAAAAAHHHHHH) and i don’t think i even answered, i just leaned in! i didn’t tell her that was my first kiss tho, but i don’t think i needed to, it just felt so natural. but then things started to escalate super fast.

NSFW:

i guided her hands to my tits, then shirts came off, then bras. i really felt no nerves about anything that was happening, i think it’s because i was still a little high, and years of watching amateur lesbian porn had prepared me. As she pushed me down on the bed, i told her it was my first time, and they were like “this is my first time with a girl,” and that was nice to hear.

then she started rubbing me over my panties while we still were making out. then i told her in between kisses “i’m on the last day of my period, i have a tampon in” and she was like “last day?” and i was like “yeah” and she just goes “im still gonna eat it” SO. FUCKING. HOT. she started traveling down, sucking and biting my nipples, kissing my stomach, and then she got to my pussy and said “u got a pretty pussy,” and i started blushing so hard. then she started eating me and oh my GOD. i was a bit scared i wouldn’t be able to cum cuz i thought i desensitized myself with how much i use a vibrator lmao, but i came so hard.

(side note: Before, when i would think about myself having sex for the first time, i always thought id be too nervous or embarrassed to hear myself moan or talk, but oh my god i was so vocal. i’m so glad i was comfortable enough with her to tell her what i wanted, and how i wanted it. id tell her to bite my nipples and eat me harder and it just made it so much hotter.)

then i wanted to return the favor, so we switched and i started to make my way down. But when i started eating her, she said “i want you on my face at the same time.” and i started laughing into her pussy and i was like “u wanna 69 rn fr?” and she were like “deadass” and i was like “ok” and i got on her face and we ATE EACHOTHER OUT. so fucking crazy. it was kinda hard on my shoulders and arms being on top, but it was so worth it especially, when i got to taste her cum.

Then i started FINGERING HER. i knew to do the whole “come hither” motion, but i was scared i wasn’t pleasuring her. My hands are pretty tiny and my fingers are stubby, but the way they were moaning for me made me feel more confident in what i was doing, and she eventually came 🙏.

At one point I asked her to use my vibrator on me, and i came so hard i started shaking and jerking, and she just goes “ur so cute” and that was sooooo hot.

now i understand how lesbian sex can literally last for hours and hours, it felt like there was no end, we kept going and going. eventually i felt like i actually couldn’t cum anymore and so we stopped and just started making out, even that felt like it would go on forever. i was like addicted to her lips, i never wanted to stop kissing them. but eventually we just started cuddling and talking. then she had to leave 😔 cuz we both had classes in the morning. but i got to kiss her goodbye!

and that’s pretty much the story of the gayest day of my life. thanks for reading. i got another date with them soon! wish me luck!

as you might have seen, I made https://www.reddit.com/r/actuallesbians/s/iEFFZno1Fw this post some days ago about the girl that I like, and I decided to kiss her tomorrow because FUCK IT BE GAY DO CRIME and then I remembered that since I'm a loser I haven't kissed anyone in 16 years... I need advice 😔 I would steal the kiss so it won't have tounge and stuff but the feeling that our lips would touch makes me REAL NERVOUS

I don't know how to begin this but I'm a cis 30 year old married to a pre transition mtf partner. We live in a very bad state for her to transition and she is scared to.

I say I don't experience sexual attraction but I can't help but notice beautiful women and admire their beauty. I really like breasts. I love the feeling of them and I miss boobs y'all so bad.

I feel like I convinced myself that I like men too. I was always confused because if I was bi then why can't I get wet with men but get drenched with women? Before my partner I had never gotten wet with a man. And then my partner revealed to me after a while that they feel like a woman. So I don't really know why my partner is the exception to that.

I don't think I'm attracted to men. I don't think I ever was. No matter how boy crazy I was as a child.

I feel weird that I'm realizing this tonight. My partner knows I'm bi but I haven't told her that I've been thinking about my sexuality. I was always afraid that I was a lesbian. It gave me anxiety.

But I'm a lesbian. I've got the best girl I ever could of asked for and I'm happy. Saying that I'm a lesbian has lifted a weight off my shoulders.

Pretty much the title. You do you, whatever makes you feels more comfortable in the bedroom. I just feel like I'm more attracted to everyday bras/underwear than I am to lingerie, the everyday stuff is just more... authentic to me, I guess?

Just finished the last episode, don’t want to put any spoilers here incase people haven’t finished it yet but I’m so let down by the ending and would love to talk to people about it that feel the same way. I honestly feel like they used the lesbian/lgbt fanbase and cheated us at the end. I truly loved this show too

Needed somewhere to just let this out and put my thoughts to some people. So I'm trans MtF. After much struggling finding out myself, a relationship with a cis woman who tried to force me to 'just be a man' really didn't work out and opened my eyes a lot. But I was still attracted to women. Okay so I'm a lesbian who likes her lower parts. But I don't mind what parts my partner has. Got with a few other trans women, a few who were happy as is and one who had srs, no problem, still happy, dangly bits are fun. But then I found this really REALLY cute and attractive femboy. I didnt think I liked guys but... just wow he's gorgeous and amazing. After some good times and bad, a situation came up where we got into a huge argument over text and I kinda flipped a bit and said something like 'get your crap together and don't message me until then.' Well we both realized super quick we actually were deeply attracted and that got him thinking and to the point he confessed and we're dating. Well, he also started HRT now and is genderfluid, but having dreams as a girl and is happy to think of himself that way. So a good chance that he's also trans and lesbian. What a ride

So my girl and I want to try something new, none of us has ever used a strapon before so I pretty please would like to know what are your recommendations. What is the best brand? One that’s comfortable to use?

Hey! So been with my girlfriend for 9 months and i adore her to pieces, shes literally my perfect person. the only problem is the sex isn't great for me. She often is too rough or gives up too quickly. I know i'm only the second woman she has ever been with! I've never had this issue before so don't know how to approach the subject with her at all. Shes really awkward when it comes to discussions about sex so i've always put it off as i don't want to hurt her feelings!

for context, I live in Australia and she lives in Illinois and sent this at ~4:30pm her time; the last time we spoke was the day before in the evening before she slept. she also made a relaxing playlist for me after a pretty terrible day I had recently and the first and last songs were ‘I Really Like You’ parts 1 and 2 by sewerslvt. am I reading too much into this??

I’m a 29yo ciswoman, and recently realized that I’m queer after learning more about compulsory heterosexuality and reading the am I a lesbian masterdoc. I’m struggling with feelings of not being a “real” queer person because of coming out later in life, not having a romantic relationship with another queer person before (although I have had physical relationships), and presenting as quite femme. I often feel self conscious in queer/lesbian spaces since I feel like others may question my legitimacy… has anyone else experienced this and if so, how have you dealt with it?

Me and my girlfriend are interested!! No butt stuff please :P

I'm 26, I've never been with a girl not because I don't want to but because I have a really friendly personality so I always ended up friendzoned when I thought I had a chance.

This year I joined a team sport and some of them are sapphics so I tried to get close to them but there was something that made me feel we were cold.

So the other day I mentioned I'm a lesbian and it seems they didn't know, which surprised me because most people assume it because I'm not super femenine but I guess that as they've only seen me on sport clothes and femme straight girls on the team wear the same, I guess it wasn't that obvious 😂

The thing is a girl I find really attractive (bi, big body, cute smile, stylish) wasn't there but I'm pretty sure they told her. Today I trained with her for the first time since I "came out" and she was looking at me all the time, not just at my face but my body. We even were next to each other when we had to do pull-ups and I noticed her looking at my hands (thankfully I cut my nails the day before LOL).

And jeez I just find her so attractive, I hope I get a chance at some point or be brave enough to talk about it and if it doesn't go well, I hope she can be discrete and not make a scene as we're old enough not to be so childish. That's it, if anyone has recommendations or whatever, anything is welcome.

https://apnews.com/article/japan-same-sex-marriage-court-ruling-6005ae890fdc7fd176ce72b57a1f7d99

I’m 24 and I was in a relationship for 8 years. High school sweethearts. Been single since this april and trying things out.

Granted, in highschool I’d been with a few girls until I settled with my girlfriend. Though, we’d also experimented with other girls together. But I feel like the sex was never amazing… even after our recent break up I’d been with a couple girls, who identified as lesbian as well. And the sex was still meh. something lacked.

And then I very very recently met a “straight” divorced 32 year old woman with a child. She came over… and I had the most amazing sex of my life. And we’ve been seeing each other a ton. And it’s since continued to amaze me how good she makes me feel. And she seems to feel the same way. She pushes my boundaries and somehow knows all the right things without actually knowing. All the things I ever dreamed of and she does it.

Eventhough she was nervous because she’d never been either a girl, it’s been so natural. This is just a friends with benefits situation… but man, have I been missing out? Or is this a once in a lifetime sexual experience??? I’ve never felt anything like it.

Tell me nowwww. Have ya’ll ever had great sex or do you feel like you’re searching for it still, like how I felt for years… or have you had overall great experiences?

So peak lesbian for me right now ❤️😀

What are some key nonverbal signs that a girl would like to talk to you?

So I've been talking to someone for about a month now we've gone on 6 dates all super well and really really long lasting like our shortest date was 4 hours because I had to work the longest being closer to like 7 or 8 we pretty much at this point act like a couple pet names cuddling we are exclusive but we haven't had sex yet but I know we're both open to that because we've talked about it but we've never actually decided to be official but like we have another date tomorrow halloween and I've made them a boo basket they made me one too and I'm at this point where I'm so fucking confused because we literally do everything a couple does without the title and I want to be able to say that they're my partner because they really mean a lot to me but is it too soon? Should I ask them for a label? I would love to have our anniversary be on Halloween since it's both of our favorite holiday (we're both goth) but if they say no am I ruining the holiday?

Tldr is 1 month enough to ask for a tittle when we act like a couple anyway?

What dating apps do you guys use and like? Or where do you make friends?

I have been in the lesbian circle for a long long time. Fell in love with an extroverted girl, with a bully friend, single for almost 3 years. I know what’s good for me now but can’t seem to find it anywhere. The funny thing is, I suddenly like kids now. When I see toddlers and primary school children I want to give birth to them. The worst feeling is that I get tingles when I talk to certain men. It’s weird considering that I’ve been out and proud for so long. Because of this, I’m now very ace and seldomly think of that thing. I’m very confused.

Hi,

So i am in my first semester and i have a crush on a girl i have a few classes and lectures with.

I already have somewhat of an established friendgroup (that i dont know that well since ive started studying a few weeks ago) . I have had one quick conversation with her where she told me her name while we we're both searching for the lecture hall.

Since i already have somewhat of an established friendgroup, it feels weird sitting myself beside her instead of them in lectures. I just dont really know how to find oppurtunites to talk to her and get to know her. Also im pretty sure shes also queer.

Any advice? :)

They broke up with me in a really shitty and confusing way last month while stringing me along for several weeks. I have so many emotions towards them and I feel I'm making progress towards healing but I cannot stop thinking about them. I genuinely love them unconditionally even with their flaws. Even parts of them that I find annoying at times, I still love.

When they broke up with me they seemed like they still had feelings for me and I'm so baffled. They said that they felt like breaking up with me was self sabotage. I'm baffled and tired and I feel so much pity for them. I want to have a conversation with them but I don't know if thay will ever happen. We share a friend group but now all of our friends don't really want to talk to them anymore because of what they did to me. I still really want to talk to my ex though. Apparently they're acting very lonely and annoying recently. I feel so confused on what's going to happen to the friend group and if my ex will be ok after losing the majority of their friends.

Before puberty I liked boys, I had crushes on certain boy band members, when I was 8 a new boy started in my class at school and I used to hug him and make him things in the craft corner, I always held his hand and got butterflies when i did so. You know, the typical? But then i started puberty and everything just changed, I became disgusted by boys, I wasn't interested in having a boyfriend at all, I didn't understand the who likes who boy talk that girls would go on about at school. I kissed a boy aged 11 and felt disgusted and uncomfortable, I then kissed a girl age 12 and got all the feels. I haven't had a crush on any man since puberty but I know in the past before puberty I did. What happened? I have completely accepted my sexuality now, I like women but I still can't understand how things just suddenly changed? (I'm not Bi, I've been asked that before and I've explored it but I've come to the conclusion that I am not Bisexual)