I'm pretty near to Ithaca and seeking to find someone who is queer and trans-friendly who I can start to see about my health. i have honestly been avoiding it for quite a while especially since the last physician i had was a cis man. i am not comfortable with it anymore.

I made a flag for neurodivergent queer people who prefer relationships with other neurodivergent queer people. (Sort of like T4T). I know so many people who hold this philosophy so I thought I'd make a flag. Lmk what you think!

I'm a gender non-conforming female and when it comes to my behaviour and preferences, if I had to choose, I'd say I identify with gay men above any other group, hands down. That's just my neurological disposition. No shame whatsoever - I grew up in a science literate culture - but I'm really struggling to find like minded or navigate the world as I am.

I find high masculine/heteronormative males utterly repulsive and unfortunately, that's the vast majority of people who'd wanna get with me.

I have similar sensibilities and preferences to many of my gay (male) friends. My type is a rare breed as they'd be non-heteronormative/queer and on the bisexual/homoflexible spectrum. Androgynous/Male faces with feminine features, lean physique, male form.

I honestly don't know anyone female with my taste and preferences. Is there a name for it? I'd call myself a female faggot but some might misinterpret it as gay.

Anyone have any good shows that dont just make us think the main characters are gonna get together or writers who say, “we see this as a love story… between friends” (Like bbc merlin or sherlock). I’ve watched some of the most recent popular ones like our flag means death, good omens, and hopefully what we do in the shadows, but I need more.

Bisexuality isn't a middle ground, it's an expansive landscape. It's the freedom to navigate your desires without the constraints of labels. It's the understanding that attraction can exist on a spectrum, a vibrant tapestry woven from experiences and emotions.

Bisexual harmony is about self-acceptance. It's the quiet power of knowing you are whole, valid, and deserving of respect, regardless of who we are drawn to. It's the confidence to silence internalized doubts and embrace the beautiful complexity of our being.

This harmony isn't a destination, it's a journey. It's the courage to challenge societal norms and rewrite narratives. It's the strength to stand tall when the world tries to define us. Bisexual harmony is about owning our truth, unapologetically, with our head held high.

It's the power of community. It's finding solace in shared experiences, in the understanding that others navigate similar landscapes. It's the celebration of diversity, where bisexual identities flourish in their unique ways.

This harmony is a symphony. It's the blend of strength, resilience, and the unwavering knowledge of your truth. It's the powerful resonance that echoes within us, a beautiful testament to our authentic self. So go forth, explore your landscape, and create your own powerful symphony of bi harmony. We are the conductor, and the melody is ours to compose.

"That gender reality is created through sustained social performances means that the very notions of an essential sex and a true or abiding masculinity or femininity are also constituted as part of the strategy that conceals gender’s performative character and the performative possibilities for proliferating gender configurations outside the restricting frames of masculinist domination and compulsory heterosexuality." - Judith Butler, Gender Trouble

Valid or overthinking?

It’s my bday and I’m spending the day with my gf and later on with my parents the next day. I’m worried to tell my parents about the beautiful cake my girlfriends mum baked for me on my birthday because I think they could feel inadequate or like they aren’t important to me anymore or things like that and I’m scared to share my love with them because I’m a lesbian which was a tough pill for them to swallow although the do put in effort to understand but it would feel like rubbing their noses in it. I’m feeling so shit with all of this. What do I now and am I overthinking this?

i know for a fact i need to be in therapy. but i don’t even know where to start. i don’t want a cis therapist at all, which limits my options so much. and on top of that they’re all over $100 per session. is there anywhere that does cheaper or free sessions and is also queer specific? i’m in the u.s.

This could be a really long post but I'll keep it (relatively) short and sweet!

I want to start a gym owned by queers for queers. We suffer from so many health disparities and we need athletic spaces that are not cishet-male-centric!! I want our gym to be more so a safe-space, and community-based, unlike the average commercial gym.

I have many ideas of what I want to include in this gym, but I want to hear what other's pressing needs are. I have been considering starting a queer fitness account on instagram to build community and hopefully even a following that would help influence and create this gym, but I’ve been hearing that it’s too late in the game to build a decent following on the fitness side of instagram.

So, to my fellow queer folx that are athletes: what would you want to see in a Queer gym? Would you want to see one at all?

And to my fellow queer folx that aren't so active: do you think having a safe athletic space where you can let your guard down and build community would increase your activity level? what needs would you like met?

i look forward to any responses :3

Okay so BASICALLY I've been kinda sorta falling out of love with my bf. I thought it was just because I was growing tired of him, but I think I've came to a realization I might be lesbian... And I feel like if I come out to him he's probably going to hate me. (Mainly because he has that edgy teenager kind of mentality where he's "homophobic as a joke" but he knows I'm currently pansexual but I don't think he knows that I'm non-binary.) BUT another problem is aside from probably being a lesbian, I can't help but SEXUALLY feel attracted to men (even tho it hurts) but ROMANTICALLY attracted to women. (Like men piss me off too much to be romantically attracted to them and I just don't feel a sexual attraction towards women I just want to be held and understood by one yk?) Idk what this makes me if it makes me anything really... If it doesn't make me lesbian I have heard of this thing called being "panromantic", does that still count if you're sexually attracted to the "straight option" but romantically attracted to the "gay option". Guys I'm so confused and I don't know what to label myself! (Also there's this one sexuality that I can't remember where you're only attracted to feminine presenting people and their flag is like blue purple and green it's like called "Neptune something". Because I'm sexually attracted to men but I don't know if it's because they're men and my hormones are going crazy or because they have a 🍆 Like if I had a girlfriend and she had a 🍆 I MIGHT consider a sexual AND romantic relationship with them (if they're comfortable with it ofc), but probably not cuz sex sometimes hurts.) Please ElderGays I need guidance, what am I? 😔🙇

Hi! So I’ve realized I’m trans (and queer ish but I’m AROACE) for 6 years now and I’m recently feeling really grossed out with it. Really bad internalized homophobia. I’m not sure why and I don’t really know how to talk about it irl without seeming like a piece of shit but I want to work on it. Does anyone have any advice for working through it? Sorry if this is an inappropriate question.

My wife and I both bisexual/biromantic, poly, enm, kink, bdsm enjoyers. Where reading a post in r/queerpoly and a commenter stated that if all 3 parties in a triad where emotionally well balanced it could work. My wife says no such thing exists. So the question is do emotionally well balanced queers exist?

She says, we All have some issues. If we're honest with ourselves anyway

21F bisexual deconstructed evangelical Christian here from a rural upbringing.

Holy shit I have had to reassess and rework every nook and cranny of my brain. You know that feeling when you finish deep cleaning your entire house? I feel like I am starting to have that ‘deep clean’ satisfaction after spending years re evaluating everything about my existence. It’s exhausting but it’s starting to be so worth it.

I’m grateful for my queerness. I didn’t realize how much I didn’t like my own gender until being queer forced me to do some deep work on myself. A lot of it has to do with how I was made to feel about feminity as it was modelled to me in the church. As well as being not fully accepted by other girls while growing up. I’m starting to learn what it means to be a powerful woman and that I can stop trying to ‘be like a man’. I don’t know if anyone else can relate to this. As I try to pursue for same sex relationships with girls I’m having to face a lot of misconceptions I have about my own gender and what that would entail for gender dynamics in a same sec relationships.

I’ve been thinking a lot about gender roles and gender dynamics. I realized I’ve put way too much much energy into romance and not hardly enough energy into friendships especially female friendships. I’ve always struggled with letting my guard down with girls and I’ve been really working on it. I saw where the crawdads sing yesterday on Netflix and I couldn’t help but think ‘wow if only she could have a girl best friend this whole marsh situation would be totally different and way better.’ And I was proud that I thought that because I think I’ve come a long way.

Anyways that’s my thoughts.

Hi I'm a Straight (maybe :/) Female. I've recently started to have some very conflicting feelings about my female friend. My friend is a very open lesbian woman and has expressed to me that she likes me, but I shot her down since I'm "straight". We are still very good friends, I would even say she is my best friend I'm very comfortable telling her almost anything. But I have been having my doubts about my sexuality. About 2 years ago I went through a similar thing with liking a friend that was a girl, and even considered coming out as Bisexual but I didn't feel very comfortable or confident in my feelings. My problem is that I can't imagine having sexual interactions with a girl. I think she is absolutely stunning/handsome (since she is more masculine) and I love her personality so much, we get along so well, she has extremely similar values and beliefs as me, similar hobbies and interests. We are basically "2 peas in a pod" And I know all this sounds very, friend like. But it's different, I have many other female friends but none of them have I ever considered to like more then in a friend way. So I have no clue what to do I'm wondering if I just like her because she likes me, i might just like that feeling or the attention? or if it is possible to like someone romantically but not their sexual parts?

Thank you so much for reading I would greatly appreciate some feedback or advice

Hi! We are Cora and Mei, and as a lesbian interracial marriage, we have faced a series of challenges and prejudices throughout our relationship. From disapproving glances on the street to insensitive comments and even open discrimination. We have also had to endure comments from our families, coming from such different cultures. Social and cultural expectations can weigh heavily on us as we strive to assert our authenticity and celebrate our diversity in a world that often pushes us to the margins. However, despite these difficulties, our bond has only strengthened. Our mutual love and determination to defy stereotypes have enabled us to overcome these challenges. And often, this is the experience of many lesbian couples who decide to marry; there are always people who will speak or look unfavorably. But from our experience, we can affirm that only what you and your partner want matters; that's all that should matter!!❤️ We want to take this opportunity to share our experiences and hear about your stories or if you know anyone who has also experienced these difficulties.

I am an afab person who started to dress significantly more masculine over the past couple of years after coming out. earlier this year I cut my hair short for the first time and it gave me a ton of euphoria, but I’m still really struggling to find my style. I’m drawn to androgyny in general, and I felt good about the clothes I was wearing before but now that my hair is short sometimes my clothes start to feel too masc for me and make me feel dysphoric. I want to incorporate more “fem” elements back into my clothes but most things considered feminine that I put on also make me feel dysphoric. It feels like there is no winning lmao any advice is beyond appreciated :)

I gave up labels a long time ago, it was easier if I didn’t have to fit into a category. I just liked who I liked. But anyway, I’ve been with a man for a little over a year now and just the thought of having sex with him turns me completely off. I don’t think he necessarily ever did anything wrong. I mean of course we have the usual couples arguments, but nothing has stuck out so much that it seems he would be the reason I’m not attracted to him anymore. He knows I like other genders and we’ve even talked about my type in women. He’s also agreed to let me have sex with women because he doesn’t see it as “real sex”. But it’s something we agreed on, had a real adult conversation about. And I did. I had a major crush on this girl at work and we hit it off and we were hanging out and we had a couple drinks and we had sex. I had asked my bf if it was ok if we did anything before I had gone over to her house and he said it was fine. He even wanted to know about it when I got home, which made me feel like he really doesn’t feel insecure about this. Ever since then I can’t stop thinking about other women and I had another occasion after the one with my coworker. I feel really conflicted here. I know my boyfriend is ok with what I’m doing, but at the same time I feel like I almost have to force myself to do it with him now. Another thing is that I tend to always get bored of the men I date and I tend to move on fast. Is this just wanting to try new things? Or did I just want to feel somewhat “normal” and not be completely gay? My parents always told me I need Jesus when I would try to express my feelings about girls so I think I might have some self inflicted homophobia:/

Hope others get a laugh out of this...I'm nonbinary and pregnant. I've been deeply researching a million things to make sure my baby has the best beginning. On a million pregnancy pages I've been seeing FTM and for maybe a little longer than I should have I was thinking, "Wow there's like, a TON of trans men giving birth rn". 😂😂 If you also didn't know, FTM also means "first time mom". I'm dead.

EDIT: I can't think how to word it but I'd love to hear similar experiences where you assumed a typical hetero thing was something queer because this has me rolling at what a dink I am.

The wheel said yes. I don't think my friend believes I actually like men though.

For context i’m straight, and i know there’s a lot of words like queer or cunt that are like used in a positive way that once meant something bad, that people use in a more positive way now. i wonder if this is the same.

The reason i ask this is because of something that happened in my class. And i just want to be educated. I was in one of my college classes which is predominantly full of queer people as much of my school is and my friends are. it might be weird to say but i feel most comfortable around queer people, but this is also the first time in my life i’ve ever actually been around so many openly queer people. i lived in a very conservative place most of my life in a very religious place at a very religious school for most of my upbringing. We were reading final projects at the end of one of my classes, and one of them was a script someone wrote. i had the role of one person and he says “fucking dyke”. i wasn’t sure if it was right i say that so i just ask if like should i read that so we just sort of skipped over it. honesty i never really remembered what it meant but i knew that it was used as a slur and it felt wrong to say as a straight person especially in a room full of queer people. But is it actually fine to say- unless obviously im using it in a genuinely deragatory way. Thanks for the help if anyone answers!!

I have been listening to everyone’s favorite musical lesbian Chappel Roan all day, just for one of my friends to casually inform me that our mutual best friend is related to her. I called him to say “Hey that’s cool, you never told me about her” and he informed me that I’ve literally met her before just not by her stage name. Face blindness really got the best of me today.

i want to hide my profile from potential matches for the time being but i’m afraid if i delete the account entirely it’ll be a big pain if i ever decide to get back on. i saw they have an “incognito mode” but it’s… a paid feature, which feels like it makes the opposite of sense lol

Im very attracted to certain women mentally and my eyes feel like they are eating cake when with them. Lately I have had several angelic women enter my life (I know two separate persons but they come from the same scene so it’s understandable). I have only ever been with men, and I enjoy very much intimacy with the ones I have chosen. I just don’t know how to navigate this. I’m intimidated by women because I know how critical I can be and feel they will call me out on my shit lol (mentally I just feel they are more aware). I’ve always been queer but just wouldnt know how to approach a situation. I met these women and became friends because we are so in tune but I don’t want to make them uncomfortable or feel like I’m one of those “trying out” people. I really do feel an attraction and my background really has proven to me over the years it’s not just a fluke. How does one approach this situation and state their feelings? I don’t wanna loose amanzing friendships because I find these people to check all my boxes. I just don’t see any reason why I wouldn’t make a move with such beautiful and lovely souled people. I would be content just being a friend forever because I get to enjoy their company but the human in me would love more. 🙏♥️

hey everyone, i would just like to find advice. freshman in high school here. so recently, i’ve gotten into an argument with a close friend, almost like a brother to me. before i tell you what happened, i would also like to disclose something personal. since being introduced to certain things as a child (especially pornography) from about 3rd grade to now, i’ve always been a bit confused. i would say that i’m straight, i believe in a genuine romantic connection with girls, and i want a relationship with girls only. however, the genres of adult content i consume… are questionable. pornography has confused me and my thoughts on my sexuality. its filled with a lot of porn that contains transgenders per se. i’ve hated myself for this. not for my taste in adult content, but for my confusion.

im religious and i come from a religious household. i just ask myself, why am i this way. why would God make me this way. i have a twitter account where i followed many trans content creators. i do questionable things on there as well. maybe im not straight. i dont know anything anymore.

ok so, i believe somewhere along the way my friend saw something on my phone. i had issues with this friend in the past calling me the f slur (and its not f—k), believe me. we got into a huge argument in which he used this slur to hurt me multiple times. he also made it clear that he’s seen stuff of what i’ve done on there. it’s made me want to hurt myself and think bad thoughts. most importantly, its made me question myself and what i am. am i really straight? im questioning my masculinity as well. am i really supposed to be this way? i dont really know how to let this go. maybe im asking the wrong people, but i would really like to see other people’s insights on this. that usually helps me out. i’ve never thought of killing myself, but i just sometimes wonder why i’m living. or what it would be like if i could just disappear.

Please don’t see this as a hater post. I truly want you to weigh in on this, maybe I’m missing something, maybe I’m wrong in my feelings. Please talk to me about it.

So I’m a gay girlie. I’m very femme and maybe a pretty boring basic b so I always am assumed straight.

I love that we are slowly getting to a place where amab people are accepted for being themselves, being femme, feeling themselves away from social gender conditioning. I am absolutely here for this beautiful liberation of the self.

Now - I have a new colleague. We are both expats and have to share an apartment for a few months due to our job. They identify as non/binary and queer.

They present male. They’ve said pretty sexist things to me, a few times too often. ((I’ve always called them out on it and they agreed, we spoke and moved on)) They take up space in the same way cis-white dudes in the art world (we work in the art world) take up space. Like, they love hearing themselves talk, they don’t make sure to give as much space to others though, they relate everything to themselves, they are overconfident in their work. They pissed me off most recently because they took a queer woman’s contract opportunity, and they justified it by saying they are a queer poc and they never opportunities like that. For the record I’m also poc, idk if that matters, but I for sure wouldn’t do that.

Now - they have a ton of hook ups at home. Always straight femme women (can’t help but meet them as our flat is tiny). I seriously don’t want to assume the way they see and experience their gender and queerness, but I feel so off about the way they loudly present that they’re NB and queer, yet really behave like your typical, sexist and kindof creepy dude. Like the kindof dude I run into a lot in the art world, that female (cis and trans) friends always have disappointing stories about. I kindof feel that it’s a front but I feel bad for thinking it.

What are your thoughts on this?

Edit: to all who are downvoting, please tell me your criticism, I want to know where I am wrong. I came to this sub to understand and learn

Alright, I'm asking here because my lovely roommate and coworkers didn't have an answer either, and my roommate recommended this as an option.

I need to write a biography for my work (I'm a professional glassblower). They are best written in third person. I identify as non-binary, but I am "pronoun chaotic". I say to use whatever feels right in the moment because they all work for me, because I am all of them. Some of my best friends switch seamlessly from they/them to she/her to he/him as they talk about me. Others they/them and she/her me, others use exclusive pronouns of every variety. It is how I see myself, so I love that it is reflected.

This is where my sizeable road bump comes in. I won't use she/her all the way through, because that is wrong. I also don't feel like I want to use they/them all the way through (it is the closest, but it's not quite right either if I'm being true to me). And then, I probably don't want to just switch up all the way through, because that won't track with many reading.

I'm seeking advice, or context, or any experience similar to mine because I am at a loss for how to navigate that part of it and be true to myself.

I just broke up with my girlfriend of three years and it's really hard without her-does anyone have any advice?