Hey everyone, I just wanted to share a little encouragement after what I went through last year. It’s been about six months since my breakup, and I still remember how lost I felt in the beginning. My six-year relationship ended so suddenly, and for a while, I kept clinging to the hope that we’d get back together. I was stuck in this cycle of wishing things could go back to how they were, and it really held me back. But let me tell you, holding on to that hope was only hurting me more. I finally realized that I needed to accept what had happened, no matter how uncomfortable it felt. Going no contact was the hardest but most necessary step I took. It gave me the space to heal and start focusing on myself instead of what could have been. Slowly, I started finding joy in the little things again. I took up some new hobbies, reconnected with friends I hadn’t seen in a while, and even began to explore dating again. It’s still a process, but I’ve learned to be proud of how far I’ve come. Life is definitely not perfect, but I can honestly say it’s getting better. If you’re in the thick of it right now, I want you to know that it’s okay to feel what you’re feeling. You’re not alone, and it will get better. Trust me, I was once skeptical about all the “it gets better” advice, but I’m living proof that it does. Sending you all the love and strength you need to keep moving forward. You’ve got this! ♥️

I recently went through a heartbreaking breakup with my first love, who was everything to me. She saw me as perfect, and for the first time in my life, I felt truly appreciated and loved. We shared dreams of a future together—discussing everything from our favorite places to travel to the idea of starting a family. We talked about how we’d raise our kids, the values we’d instill in them, and all the little moments that would make up our lives. It’s hard to articulate just how deep our connection was, and now, losing her feels like losing a part of myself.

Our relationship faced significant challenges, mainly due to outside pressures, particularly from our parents. The six-year age difference added another layer of complexity. There were always whispers of doubt, concerns about maturity and what the future would hold for us. Those external influences created an atmosphere of uncertainty, making us question whether we could really make it work. I know we both wanted it to, but in the end, those doubts became too much to bear for her and she broke up with me because she didn't see a future with everything that's been happening. The breakup felt like a sudden loss of everything I had hoped for, leaving me with a profound sense of emptiness.

In my struggle to cope with this pain, I’ve turned to unhealthy habits. I’ve been drinking heavily, trying to drown my sorrows and escape the overwhelming feelings that have consumed me. Last night, I drank until I couldn’t anymore, believing it would numb the hurt. Afterward, I went to the gym and pushed myself through heavy workouts while still drunk. I thought that if I could just exhaust my body, I could escape my mind, even if just for a little while. But instead of feeling better, it only left me feeling worse. I realized how reckless that was, especially considering my asthma and previous health issues. I was pushing my body beyond its limits in a desperate attempt to escape my reality.

Talking to friends hasn’t provided the comfort I need. Their advice to just move on feels dismissive and doesn’t acknowledge the depth of my pain. They don’t understand how losing her feels like losing my entire world. She was my main source of support, the person I turned to for everything. Now, I feel incredibly isolated and alone. It’s as if all the warmth and love I had is gone, leaving behind a cold emptiness that’s hard to bear.

Despite knowing the odds are against me, I still want her back more than anything. That longing for her and what we had is like a constant ache in my heart. It’s incredibly difficult to let go when I still envision a future with her. The hope that one day we might reconnect makes it hard to focus on healing or even to take care of myself. I find myself grappling with this intense sadness, anger, and confusion, feeling like I’m stuck in a cycle of grief. Each day feels like an uphill battle, filled with reminders of what I’ve lost and the struggle to process everything.

Every moment that passes seems to weigh heavily on me. I replay memories in my mind, from the smallest shared jokes to the big dreams we had, wishing I could turn back time. It feels as if I’m drowning in a sea of emotions, and I don’t know how to swim back to the surface. The future I imagined is slipping away, and I’m left with the painful reality of moving forward without her. It’s a daunting thought, and right now, I feel lost.

To start, forgive me for run-on sentences errors and punctuation and misspelled words I'm using voice to text.

I've been lurking on here ever since we broke up, so I'll give a rundown of the relationship prior without giving too many personal details.

I've known this girl for over 3 years, we dated for two, she cheated on me (we were living together) about two months ago. I know I wasn't a perfect partner in the relationship, I know I had my faults but I was willing, making changes, and following through on the promises I made. Following the "breakup", I rented a U-Haul packed my stuff and drove 2 hours to live with my mother, and initially the next day was a Saturday and I walked around all day so upset, so hurt, so angry and I realize that I couldn't live like that. I ended up texting her that night and telling her that I forgave her and apologized for whatever I did to make it feel like that was the only option. Just to be done with it. Doing that honestly, helped a lot initially it made a world of difference to at the very least get it off my chest. We texted a little bit more that night, and she ended up calling me over to have sex Wednesday of that next week. She seemed to want to try for a relationship initially, and so I entertain that idea for the next week or so. And she called me over one other time besides me finishing moving out and i obliged. But then, the day came for me to finish packing my stuff up. I made my final remarks about our relationship, asked her if it could work. She said no, I asked her what our relationship would be from here on out to which she replied, "I don't want to lose you as a part of my life" (fucking lmao). I told her that we could try having communication but that I made no promises and I may change my mind. She sent me some stuff on Instagram that night and the next morning I texted her saying "hey, I don't think we should talk anymore". Not even a minute later, she calls me in tears, tells me she wants me back, tells me she's sorry. And I tell her if she wants to have any conversation of the sorts she needs to come visit me at my new place. She came over and the first thing I asked her was how she would rebuild trust with me, she had no response, I asked her to let me look at her phone (Id never once asked to see her phone more than a "who are you texting" if i could see she was typing away, never looked through her phone or anything of that nature either), she wouldn't let me (no surprise), and I asked her a few other things to just see if she was actually going to try. But she said nothing. I had spent all my money moving Buying things like a bed, basic food. So we ended up going out to lunch, after we got back to my place after lunch she just wanted to hang out and ignore the elephant in the room but I kept pushing and asking for answers and what was happening. She ended up having a break down. I consoled her, let her take a nap on my couch and while she was sleeping I wrote her a note that was very kind understanding and forward-looking. The day after, we talked a little on the phone seemed to have a good conversation. We talked again the day after that, and then on the third day I straight up asked her what the deal was and if this would work or not. She said no, So I hung up the phone. Later that night I ended up texting her candidly about the things in our relationship that were upsetting to me, specifically telling her that she is not the empathetic person she claims to be. Because I kept my word and in that time she somehow fell out of love with me while I was doing everything I said I would do at the time I said I would do it and we had agreed upon two months prior. I think she ended up blocking me, which was an issue because I had left a car in her garage that we had agreed to have her cell and split the profits with me. So about 3 weeks after all that happens I texted her again and told her I needed the car returned to me or paid for. The two weeks since I started speaking with her again my behavior, my decision making, My overall demeanor has spiraled to a point so low that it is shocking to me. Yesterday was the last time I had to interact with her, she paid me in full (thankfully), and now I feel like I'm back to square one which is a good thing. I wish I'd structured this better, but it's too late now and there's just a lot of random things that have been on my mind lately.

She got upset when I told her I'd slept with somebody a week after she cheated on me (casual sex, not a coworker like how she cheated 🙃). I know and her little screwed up world she thinks I'm the bad guy in this situation somehow because I called her not empathetic and not a good person on the final day of us having contact, and it really bothers me that a person who I thought was caring, loving, understanding seems to have none of those traits when it comes to the level of betrayal that she did for me. she doesn't seem to understand the level of emotional maturity it took for me to forgive and try to patch things up, and then for me to also stand up to her when it became clear that she was stringing me along and keeping me open as a second best option. I've also recently realized how she started getting protective of her phone for the last month or two before we broke up and I didn't say anything, because she put me in a position where I felt bad about overreacting. And along with her Newfound protectiveness of her phone, she was telling me all of these things that I needed to do to improve for her, and I just don't understand how somebody can be that two-faced. It blows my mind that she could be setting up her next relationship and giving me ultimatums at the same time, all the while making me out to be the bad guy to her friends family and everyone else in her life so that she doesn't feel bad after she ends things. It's just crazy to me, I don't understand what I did wrong. I cooked, I cleaned, I hung out with her every chance I got. We went out on dates, we'd go to shows, I tried planning vacations. And we survived a really long, long distance stint, so I felt very secure in the relationship. I know I did things wrong, I know I could have been better. I tried my absolute fucking hardest for this girl though and it just is still driving me crazy.

This was my first serious relationship, I'm 25 and I gave it my all. I didn't bring a ton of issues into the relationship, she did, I was okay with that. I supported her steadfastly, I tolerated her complaining to me about exes a year and a half into our relationship. I guess that should have been a red flag for me because it's appalling to me to think about talking about her on a regular basis to my next partner. For the amount of understanding, love, and tolerance I gave her consistently. She was never able to give me even half of that. She got us kicked out of the first place we moved in together. That was extremely difficult for me to come to terms with, but I did and I tried my hardest to forgive and let go. But she never was apologetic or understanding, she saw what happened is her having to stand her grounds and unless I wholly supported her choices then I wasn't supporting her. That took a huge toll on my mental health and are living arrangements after that we're not ideal, but within the month or two before she cheated we finally had a good living situation. I finally felt happy, safe, comfortable in my own apartment. I was finally able to start making progress on things that had been difficult prior because there were always more important things to do.

If anyone made it this far I appreciate you for reading. I probably have more to say but if anyone else needs to get something off there chest PM me and I'd be happy to listen.

Well, got the final paperwork in and she signed with no problem. Time to start new chapter of my life

How do i take this? She’s convinced it’s a real, lucid, type dream and i’m really hurt.

I can’t imagine my ex moving on so quick, that’s what will pain me the most if she’s right.

For the meantime i asked her for some space, because she knew how much i love and loved that boy, how much i’m struggling in the break up. Does she deserve that?

I feel so vulnerable & stupid.

I was broken up with 4 weeks ago cause of my anxiety and I’ve realised I need to change, not just for future relationships but more importantly for myself. I realised I very much have an anxious preoccupied attachment style, I always put my partner way above everything else in my life and worry FAR too much about them and losing them, which is exactly what pushes them away. I do wish I had known more about this sooner. I said a while ago when I was having a bad day “I lose myself in everyone which is why I have no one” and it hit like a truck. Yes I do think my ex is a great person and in fact if our paths were to cross later I’d love to be able to have a friendly chat with him and yes I’ve always loved the idea of relationships, I love being close to someone just having that connection is something special and that won’t change either but I need to put me first, I don’t need a relationship to be happy. I’m doing good although I’m still struggling the odd day mostly with guilt about things I did or things I didn’t say and feeling lonely. I’m not completely running or distracting myself from it, I’m feeling it for the sake of healing. I have this 6 month plan in place that I’m so excited about. This sub has been a great help, especially the first couple of weeks when I thought I was going crazy and wasn’t eating, sleeping, etc so I’m here if anyone needs to talk. Always open to some advice from other anxious people too

I want to become a better person

Throughout the years I’ve said and done things to the only person who’s ever loved me. I was selfish and hurtful. I made the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with feel like trash and ruined their self worth. They’ve told me for years on what I was doing and I refused to listen. I feel like a big phony whenever people say how nice or sweet I am. I think I overcompensate trying to be nice and go above and beyond just to hide how really at my core I’m just a terrible person. I know it’s too late to save my relationship but I do want to change. I’m just unsure on where to begin.

My ex broke up with me. For the 1.5years we were together, I treated him as my therapist throughout with my severe clinical depression. But eventually he got exhausted with the role of a caregiver. He kept asking me for space but I wasn't able to give him that.

There were many other issues but most stemmed from my overdependency on him. Towards the end, I begged and pleaded a lot but I could feel that he had started becoming indifferent and before it could become worse, I also stopped trying.

Now we are in NC for around 15 days so far. He reached out to me once in between to wish me for some festival, I told him to not breadcrumb and only come back once he is sure. He wasn't willing to block me and I made him so that I dont reach out to him.

His main dilemma was that his own life is far worse than mine, and he was tired of having the responsibility of handling my issues.

I promised him that if he ever comes back, he would find a changed me who would have worked upon myself and taken hold of my own issues.

Now my own dilemma is, should I or should I not, wait? I am 50-50 intuitive about him coming back. I want to wait also because I was at fault and I want him to come back and show him that I can be a supportive partner too but I also want to move on if he has lost his feelings which I am not sure about.

Kindly help everyone!

Sorry for the long post

I am 20f and my bf is 23m We have neen together for 2 years and now things are very tensed. To the point that both of us thought about break up. In short, we were online for a year (also he has cheated on me and i have forgiven it), then moved together to another country (we could see each other not so often and i was travelling 7 hours one way and in 1 day 7 hours back every 2 weeks) and then we lived together for like 2 months. My employers framed me just not to pay and i lost my visa so had to come back and now we are online again.

Im not sure who is wrong. He used to say that girls on insta are prettier, joke that im annoying, talk too much, typical woman and etc. First i was laughing it all off but then it took a toll on my self esteem. When i have arrived back to my country he has become cold, i tried to talk about it, he says im annoying with my talks and it's easier to talk to friends. Then he says yes im sorry i was an asshole. I know he works rly a lot and gets tired but even if he has free time or a day when he works from home he would prefer to spend time with his friends. Because they are there and im not.

As for me, i rly might have become annoying. The talks, complaining on my life, even when i rly try to be positive. He says he doesn't have time for me especially on my emotions because he is so tired. Im not sure... is it really me? I was definitely not ok when i came back to my home country. My parents told me i had such a low self esteem that they were actually scared. They also think it's because of him. I don't know. Maybe it was all my fault and i let my self esteem fall that much because of social media. Maybe i just have a victim syndrome that i might think it is because of him. He has been supporting, especially before. I truly believed everything was so good between us. He says he is trying so hard and now im the one who makes it harder. When he said he misses me because i was cleaning everything i didn't find it funny and he says im too sensitive and we can't be like normal couples like his friends because of me.

Also he says i have spent a lot of his money even tho the only things we were spending his money on were groceries and some furniture (a table and a new chair for him, i have assembled everything cause i didn't have work at that moment). Think he just likes acting like im a typical woman from the perspective like i spend money do nothing and etc....

I (M40)started talking to a couple back in 2022 who worked in the adult webcamming field and they had started following my page. I worked with some beautiful women for fun and one of them caught the eye of the boyfriend. His girlfriend did solo work on cam and over the course of a year I would sometimes pop in to see her and say hello for a minute. Mostly to be supportive because her numbers were very low. She(F22) was beautiful but shy. The boyfriend started messaging one of the girls I cammed with and it was a little forward of him. So I did not feel bad when his girlfriend reached out to message me on a few platforms and she started messaging me over 30 times a day about work and personal issues she had with her boyfriend. After about a week of keeping things respectful, we started flirting and sending each other sexual images or videos and even shared some editing calls on a different platform where we both played around during the chat. By month 3 she was planning a trip across the country and leave her boyfriend and come stay with me. This was right around Christmas. She back pedaled several times and eventually I booked a trip with 3 female work friends to her state and town (vacation spot and beaches). We all were cool enough that her BF and her joined the fun in town and stayed with us for days during the trip. He was not suspecting anything at this time and we all worked together on cam and made a little bit of money too. The girl was messaging me non stop and woke me up with emojis and messages daily. each time he left the room she smiled and was so excited to be in my presence. She is on the spectrum and it was clear she was infatuated with me her new "shiny toy". Shiny toy syndrome is common with her type as they get hyper focused on a new person and it becomes there true north. The other girls were noticing and had no doubt she was trying to move away with me. so the last night she got me alone and we had sex twice while he was sleeping at his house and she was with "the girls" and having a hot tub night. the next morning he messaged the group to come get her and by then we had already agreed to drive her up to my part of the country immediately so she could clear her head and get a fresh start (she would not admit to himit was over until we were dating for months). he accepted the decision like an adult and with very little yelling. off we went on a journey together. we stopped once during the drive for some love making and rest and made it back without a hitch. the conversations in the car were fantastic and fun and she was/is the most beautiful woman I have ever been with. Once we got back to my large house she met the roommate and the dog and off we went!

The first few months were a feeling out process as we cammed together and worked on getting comfortable. The sex was fantastic and she was surprised how much we seemed to vibe. She was a self described "little" and had certain needs and being on the spectrum, she also was a much different partner from what i had experienced before. So the first 3 or 4 months I had someone follow me room to room and sleep next to me and clean the house and have sex all the time and take care of the dog, she even did the laundry and was super excited to be with me in a new location. Her excitement was genuine and so was her need for pleasure. She would text i love you often and she would tell me she was never leaving and this was her favorite place/relationship she had ever experienced.

I was dealing with a family member dying from a disease and she was a good support system. As things progressed she started to want more and more freedom and time to grow as a young woman. Her needs and her communication evolved and by month 5 she had expressed an interest in meeting other friends here and I was fully supportive. Month 6 she noticed that our sex had decreased by half and she said her relationships ran into this problem all the time. She would lose her drive for sex as it went on. I tried and offered to do many things but she always blamed herself and asked for more time between sex and working. She even stopped working for a month to try and get out of her "depression" which she said was part of her life and she couldnt remember not having battles with depression. I say depression with quotations for a reason...we will get back to that shortly. She decided to not work with me and she refused intimacy by month 7. I was literally crying and asking for hugs from her several times a week. getting told no to hugs or not even being able to get any help from her to reach climax was devastating to me. I tried to jump start things with her but she never could get excited or aroused by anything. It was during this time her texting, social media, and sleep schedule all changed. She started hiding her phone, turning it over, answering messages and texts in the bathroom, and keeping her phone and airpods ready to go when i went to sleep. I would wake up at 3 or 4AM to her phone being on and her messages being typed but she didnt know i could see. She also would have it going off and then magically all of it would be cleared when i re-entered a room or came back from the bathroom. her "camming friend" would pop into her solo shows and he would be a little too aware of things or she would start bouncing with excitement. Her phrases and responses would change when she was fresh out of a convo with him. this online sex work friend had known she was not single and still pursued the attention. he also had been chasing her for years and she didnt think it was a big deal. I had no clue how wrong i was about all this.

Just a few weeks later, she told me NO MORE SEX until she said so. She labeled herself a selfish lover and she would not change for anyone. She started saying she wanted to visit male friends out of a state with or without me. She started saying i was too controlling. I asked her to give me an example when I controlled her, which was a lightning rod for arguments because she had no examples. This was her looking for sexual gratification from her new friend but not having a place to live. I was the only person taking care of her and of course when we broke up after another big fight she had a new man ready to take her in after only 2 days. She made up an elaborate story about his celibacy and religious beliefs (he is a sex work fan and promotes/hunts women....) She claimed to be getting a separate room in his place and the door would have a lock on it. Magically once we agreed to sleep separately she had a sex drive again and the naked webcam chats with her new man began. She started working on cam again to save up money and all her lady parts started working overtime and with a lot more enthusiasm than I could remember. He would stay on the phone when she was moving around the house, she would keep him muted so he could hear things being said by all of the house members.

She agreed to stay a bit and help out and save up but the fighting was getting to be too much. She finally set a date to move out and live with him. Never visiting his home or city or state and never seeing him face to face outside of webcam, she agreed to start a new chapter with this guy. Except after she left a few things became clear....

She never had her own room. She shared his. she was in his bed every time she worked and was on her webcam stream. he was in the room every time, telling her things and she would look at him lovingly. there was no "self discovery" or "freedom of being single and no men being in her life"

She never managed to be "single and free" for even a moment. Before she left the comfort of a middle class suburb for one of the worst ghettos in the country, she was already sending reels and emojis asking to be filled up by her new man (her favorite)

I haven't spoken to her or texted her but she still reaches out of a couple of my friends who stayed in touch. Both girls tell me she is ok but she "is not living the way she thought" and she "can't go outside like ever"

I get the vibe she is not as happy or as free as she wants and yet she is probably getting certain needs met she couldn't seem to have met if she stayed with me. so I guess she is better off now?

I hope she grows up and learns that a partner with love and compassion and dedication is not something you should throw away for a bunch of promises from a guy that grooms and tries to groom women.

So to recap, she lied and bailed on a bf to be with me, then did the exact same thing to me with the new guy and the pattern continues for the little tism girl with a great body and few options. she hops from couch to couch and there is always a man waiting to save her because she is a little sub with nowhere to go...

I wish i didn't love her. I wish i didn't care. I wish she didnt still make me smile just thinking about her. If she had a real issue I would give up my soul to make sure she was safe and ok. I would never be able to take her back now after all this heartache and she legit doesn't want me so this is why I stay away for good. She will hate me for sharing this story. She will not even realize i left out a few things out of respect to her. I am getting better each day and this chapter was fun as hell. She hurt be but omg the sex and the love i had for a few months was better than anything on earth.

I lost a ton of weight after we split and I feel good about life. Every time I get asked about my young GF and I have to give an explanation, I can feel people saying " I told you so" but they fail to realize good sex when you are in love is probably the best feeling in the world for a man.
I would do it all over again in a heartbeat.

She is the greatest piece of ass I could have dreamed of and I am proud this old man pulled off what he could for as long as he could with such a little beauty.

Thanks for reading about all this :)

This one is a post, but more of a conversation with myself.

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To all the anxious attached people out here, scrolling looking for an answer, or having a hard time coping with a break up, even months or years after the breakup, this is happening for a simple reason, the universe is calling and you’re not picking up the freaking phone.

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I would say I’m a spiritual person, with an obsession for behavioral-patterns and psychology, I don’t have a degree in any one of those so don’t take my word as the truth.

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But I would like to give you some background to what I’m dealing with, almost two month ago, I’ve been through the most painful breakup in my life with whom I thought and still think of as my “soul mate” simply because even through the pain, this relationship allowed me to break my own destructive cycle, in my relationships and my life as an individual.

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You see, the universe is constantly working for your favor, but you HAVE to put in the work to allow it to do so, in this current break up, I analyzed from the very first days, what DID I DO! On my end to cause this beautiful loving relationship to fail, I realized I was addicted, I was needy, I was attached, I let my problems become to much to handle, but the key here which is very important is that you HAVE to do it for yourself. You cannot do this in order to “get her/him back” you have to do it for yourself and probably realize on the way that your partner, also did some things to you (the nature of anxious attachment is taking all the blaming on yourself, and no self respect to realize that you’re also being mistreated!). my realization is that she wasn’t allowing her to feel my love on a deep subconscious level because of her own traumas, which in turn triggered my anxious attachment even more, I was actually way less anxious before I met her.

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Anxious attachment when you think of it is very selfish and egocentric, but it is also a big fucked up trauma with the core of “I want to be loved” So you HAVE TO FORGIVE YOURSELF for the things you’ve done under the influence of anxiety in order to heal, this is a blessing that anxious attached people have, is the ability to be vulnerable, which can actually generate a healthy healing.

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My advice for anyone going through something similar, read about disattachment, watch videos about it, it is the source and the path to your healing not only relationship wise, but also in your general life and how you approach people/situations, and the source of your own anxiety which stems from the disability to feel safe within yourself! You have to learn to feel safe within yourself and not needing external validation for your feelings and emotions, this is something that you probably project to people/friends/work/family/business And when you are left with the sense of relief that In a way it was never about your ex, but about you, and maybe at times you needed them more than loved, you can sent them on their way with nothing but gratitude for the amazing times you had, and the love you shared.

Ashamed how much I paid for it Love don't cost a thing, ashamed how much I gave for it Heart broken into pieces, put tape on it Fragile made out of glass, close the drapes on it Trust issues so deep, playing safe on it Will I ever love again or will I stay lonely?

Mooski - Track Star

This has been stuck in my mind for a while. I saved you one night, literally saved you from yourself one night and when I got faced with my worst fear, you disappeared and broke up with me…

I hate saying “i deserve better” cause for a long time i thought you were the best thing to ever happen to me but the more distance and silence comes between us, the more I realise that I need someone who stays with me and supports me on every step of my/our way….I do deserve better

My ex-boyfriend (23M) and I (21F) broke up two weeks ago and given the situation I’m struggling to process things. I stayed in the relationship for such a long time because I loved him but I really just missed the person he used to be in the first 8 months. I loved him because he was so sweet and patient with me and I felt so safe. But later on it felt like he lost himself in the relationship (didn’t rly have many hobbies and became a bit more short fused and pessimistic) and possibly became depressed due to external factors (financial issues, back injury issues). For context, I was his first everything so that might’ve contributed to him losing himself. And then he did something to me that I never could’ve imagined him doing. After feeling so much guilt, he turned heavily to religion and suddenly wanted no sex and to avoid other “sins” because he was so fearful of what might happen to him after his mom discussed the gospel with him. I was already drained by his insecurities, and his sudden extreme beliefs left me no choice but to end the relationship. It’s just hard for me because we had always been so sexually compatible and intimate, and suddenly he wanted to take that away. I miss the old him.

I don't know what I'm doing anymore, and I think being back over here in Oslo, is just stirring up my emotions, and memories of being with her.

I'm on a lunch break just now, and I'm wondering what one earth should I do - I've found out, from one of her old university friends, that she's meant to working and living in Tromsø, so at least I won't bump into her (to cause her any pain), but what on earth do I do???

I know there's no way we can get back together, and it's just tearing me up inside.

So me and my ex girlfriend broke up 2 months ago. it still stings so hard. i cry everyday. she was my only best friend and she was the only person who ever understood me. So last year i had a female friend. i felt nothing towards her in any special way. she one day decided to flirt with me as a "joke". my dumbass decided to flirt back by sending a pickup line from google as a joke(i presumed it to be a joke)i didnt mind it when it happened. the next day i new it was wrong and i removed her from my life. i didnt tell this to my girlfriend as i was scared she would breakup with me. about a month later, my partner found out because she had my account. we talked about it and she forgave me. i really did love my girlfriend a lot. about 2 months ago the old friend decided to leave an anonymous message. my girlfriend found out and she felt sympathy for her.(she didnt, she said that to see how id react). i too felt a bit of sympathy and i texted her. next day i realised i made a mistake again and blocked her off. however my partner lost trust in me. i guess it counts as cheating? my partner broke up 2 months ago. i love her a lot. she was my absolute everything. now im left in despair. i cant even do everyday tasks anymore. i have no one to talk to. i have no one who i can be myself with. its hard to digest that ive let down someone i loved so much. i feel disgusted at myself.

Throughout the years I’ve said and done things to the only person who’s ever loved me. I was selfish and hurtful. I made the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with feel like trash and ruined their self worth. They’ve told me for years on what I was doing and I refused to listen. I feel like a big phony whenever people say how nice or sweet I am. I think I overcompensate trying to be nice and go above and beyond just to hide how really at my core I’m just a terrible person. I know it’s too late to save my relationship but I do want to change. I’m just unsure on where to begin.

As each day passes I desire to heal and focus on myself more. And I feel like blocking him will help. We don't talk. But at this point I'm pretty pissed with the way he left to realize now, I don't want to try again.

He sent me a text projecting a lot of truama onto me then ended it with "accept it and move on" then unadded me on everything so I can't message him (all his socials are private).

But I feel like part of the reason I can't move on is because I don't have him blocked. Keeping that possible connection open is only holding me back. We don't talk, but I don't think waiting around for a message that's likely never coming is healthy.

Idk how to tell my bf that I want him to completley stop being friends a girl I don't like and who I feel hasn't respected out relationship at all. Nothing personal but I just think given the situations we have been put in, I find it weird that she hasn't tried to step back herself. Because personally I would never be put in situations that she has been and never even tried to make myself a factor in someone elses relationship. My thing is with my bf and I just think he should be the one to respect me and give me my place in the relationship rather than fight for his friendship with her. At the end of the day he's the one that should want to be loyal and respective to me, she doesn't owe anything bc shes not my friend, and I just don't understand how he doesnt see that. He has told her in the past times that I did not want her to go to his house for a party and stuff and when ive asked how she has taken it, he always responds with "she was disappointed but she was okay with it." & when id ask if shes ever gotten mad he would just say "shes not that kind of person" and comparing it to the kind of person I am, who would have gotten mad in his eyes. But the thing is that I have been that friend too, with him in fact, when he had a gf 4 years ago, he cut me off and said it was to respect her and I understood and wished him well. We did not talk until after they broke up, even after his ex would watch my stories on instagram and even tried adding me multipe times on different socials, I never enterainted it nor involve him because I geniunley did not talk to him. So I just don't get how she wont do the same, it feels like she enjoys being involved in our fights and I'm just tired of it and Don't think it's fair that he spends so much time with her. They have a designated day they hang out and he's just now meeting her family even though they have been friends for 8 years, which he did not see anything weird about that bc it was her nieces party and he took his niece but she didnt invite other friends to the party. I just feel like there is more going on btw them and he swears up and down that there isn't but if thats the case, why cant he let her go?

First off, I'm sorry for the length, I cut so much out, but still it's a long story... I am a ' 44-F' and my ex is a '30-M' , this entire thing is my own fault for dating someone so much younger than I am..I was divorced and alone for 5 years and wasn't even looking for a partner, but I moved in with him after 6 months and it was pretty great at first. Then about a year in, my daughter got sick, and I ended up having to go and stay with her for about a month...during that time he said he met a '20-M' and a '19-F' that he's been hanging out with, and pretty soon I started getting a bad feeling about them .I started noticing his messages didn't sound like himself, like someone else was telling him what to say, or had his phone ..which later I found out was true...things just felt wrong,. One day he wouldn't answer my calls, he said he was sick and would I leave him alone..which was unheard of, usually if he was sick he never acted like that, but ok..then a few hours later I got a picture msg of a chic giving a guy head...and in caption it said " how does this look" right away I knew it was him, you know a woman knows. So he called me and said he meant to send that to his guy friend, he found it online...and I said we will talk about it later, I know it's you... So I kept getting messages from him that whole night trying to assure me that it was not him...so I planned to go home the next day and leave him...so I'm getting ready to go and I get a call, and it's this girl, I ask who she is, she said she was the girl in the picture. And that my bf raped her! So at that moment all kinds of things are going thru my head, especially the picture I received the day before ..how was that rape? So I immediately called him and told him what she was saying and that he needed to go ahead and tell me the entire truth... So although I hated him at that moment and I had Intended to leave him, I felt like he was being fausly accused and even tho I was mad at him for cheating, did that mean he deserves to go to jail .so he was begging me to come home and help him, and I was so overwhelmed I ended up going home. The girl got a rape kit, reported it and all that bs, but because I went in and showed them the picture that had been taken the whole thing was dropped.... So that was a couple years ago. Long story short...he acted like he was traumatized from being fausly accused of rape and begged me to stay and help him get thru the situation..we spend a year in couples therapy, where he started opening up and being more honest about things with me... I learned that in the beginning of our relationship, when he acted so in love with me, he was not..he said he was disappointed when he met me, but yet manipulated me into eventually moving in with him, for what reason, I have no clue except I make about 10 times as much money as he does... Anyway, I ended up catching him cheating on me again, after all the therapy , and everything,he hadn't changed... So my feelings started changing and I decided the therapy was pointless and I had to find a way out of this relationship.So one night he smoked some weed to help his back pain, because he'd had surgery..and we had a veryyy deep and honest conversation..and he admitted to me that that girl HAD told him several times to stop, but she didn't get up so he kept going..he admitted to me that he had asked her to pose for the picture in order to send it to me because he felt abandoned by me because I'd been taking care of my daughter for a month, and wanted me to come home.... I have been gone from him for 5 months now, but it still weighs on me. I also found out that when he came to my daughter's house for thanksgiving and used her laptop, he went into her Google photos, and copied her and her bfs private pictures. Is he a sexual predator, idk what to do.

Hi, this is really new for me idk,, but basically my ex broke up with me 5 months ago in early June, and it really had an impact on me emotionally and mentally, for me he was the one and only love I could see for myself and I gave my everything to him and I thought we were going get married or be each other's futures based on talks we had with each other.

So hear comes my need for help,I'm already decided to take a year away from dating to heal and just breathe, so basically this is month 5 of us being split and for the most part I have grieved and let go of us having a future together and can see myself dating again in the future, however I feel this break up and lost has really affected my heart and the way I love I feel scared and overwhelmed and just completely numb at the thought about being in another relationship and being so vulnerable just for it to backfire in my face, I'm scared of feeling like I lose myself again or I'll give to much of myself again just to be hurt and betrayed again 💔, like idk I went through a previous break up that i was easily was able to recover from because we knew were incompatible and I had time to grieve while in a relationship, but this relationship was different I saw us having are own place and getting married and being together till we we're old yk. I'm just don't know what to do because I feel this massive shift has occured in me about love and it hasn't changed, while I'm enjoying my single life and just being with myself again vibing and doing me without my anxious attachment going crazy about what's happening with my partner or what they are feeling etc, I am still a true love type girl and I want that romance and to be treated like a princess by a guy and just to overall just be warm and together yk makinh eachother laugh etc. But to be honest it just feels like I feel nothing like I'm incapable of loving like once did again and I'll be alone and forever just wantinh and yearning for something even though my heart feels cloudy and dark and missing yk, I just really don't know I feel so weird and just like a piece of coal tbh 😔, i just feel like if I get into another relationship again I'll either not be open enough about myself and my feelings or I'll complete not care at all and be closed off idk just wanted to vent or something

I guess my real question and just real need I need to ask is has anyone else felt this or currently going through this, how are you coping or healing? because currently I just feel like I don't care anymore and I failed idk such weird feeling of wanting something new but not really cause idk?

My ex and I broke up 2 months ago (we dated for a year and both early 30s) She switched up on me HARD. She always told me I was the best man she’s ever been with and could never be with another man again because I raised her bar so high. We got into a lot of fights because honestly she had deep insecurity issues and no matter what I did I could never make her feel like I cared (which is wild because she always bragged about me and said how great I was so it just felt so confusing to always have her upset at me when I thought I was doing everything I could). She also had a drinking problem she denied wasn’t a big deal that I was always trying to help her with. But she made me feel so good about myself and treated me like a king when things were good.

Anyways, after we broke up I begged her to give us another chance and after a few tries she blocked me. It’s the craziest switch up in my life. My therapist and friends keep pointing out all the negative things and how I deserve more but I cannot stop ruminating and obsessing and it’s driving me insane. Every morning I wake up with intense pain and thinking of her. I thought I’d be better 2 months in but it almost feels exactly the same as the first day. I honestly want to just not wake up sometimes because I can’t stop obsessing and feeling so sad and thinking of her with another man it just feels unbearable.

How do I get over this?? I try to go out, see friends, do my hobbies, workout, but she’s always on my mind and it doesn’t seem to be getting better.

Like when Is this going to stop Bro,she disrespected and disregarded me many times in our 3 years relationship and even more in the last three months,but i can't fucking switch my love off,i Just feel so bad,i Wish I could just hold her one last time,and knowing there Is no going back is killing me honestly,She was and Is a flawed person,and so am I,but I didn't care,actually It was her flaws I loved the most,why couldn't it be the same the other way around?

I have been seeing /dating a Brazilian man for four years. He comes here USA for a month, then he leaves. It is long distance. I am 53 (F) 43 (M). I have tried breaking up many times and I cannot . I tried to block him for a week . I go back to talking . In my heart I love him. He said he loves me If I try to block him for awhile, I get so heartbroken, because I feel like he won’t care or reach back out. I also feel he fell out of love with me. And it’s more one sided now I’m in love and he’s not . Anything you can say? It was the most amazing love I’ve ever had in my life . Sometimes I feel very low that I cannot break up. It is so confusing . He asked me to marry him, then went back to Brazil and said he’s single or “i am the lone wolf”. -heartbroken

My fiancée and I were together for 5 years and randomly they brought up going to the military. I spoke with them about my wants and needs in the relationship and I stated I cannot be a military spouse. They came back next day with papers from the recruitment place. Stating “you made your mind up, I made mine. “ Now we are broken up but still live together till they go to the boot camp. I thought there would have been atleast a little fight for the break up but they were fine. Am I crazy for wanting to feel begged for? Am I crazy for being so upset that they chose the military and were okay losing me? After all we have been through? May I add they cheated on me 2 years into the relationship and I forgave them. Now they talk to random people online and I think they moved on. Why do I crave someone that doesn’t crave me.

I see their name everywhere, as they were named after a stone.

It's in the games I like to play, the shows I like to watch, it feels like a constant reminder of them. It's been six months, and I've definitely moved on in a lot of ways, but it feels like I'm being reminded of them constantly.

Any advice for how to not be bothered by this?

I’ve [33F] been in the process of breaking up with my boyfriend of 3.5 years [35M]. Toward the end, he was cruel and cold and made it obvious he didn’t want to continue the relationship but didn’t break up with me, so being the in love optimist that I am allowed all the hurt to fall on me and kept pushing to try and turn it around.

I learned that you can’t make someone fall back in love with you with any amount of trying. In this process, I’ve said some really awful things that I regret to try and express the pain and humiliation I’ve felt, and for that I am so sad. He knew he didn’t love me and I felt like I was so cheated by that, and I knew if he cared he would have made the tweaks to behavior I told him I needed to make this work (not going out drinking until 3AM, having any sort of patience with me, telling the truth and having open communication), but I really let myself continue to be delusional.

He is so angry and never wants to speak to me again. I don’t know why I can’t feel that way. Like I literally am still in love with this man after all of this (I know, I know, self respect). How do you make yourself just…not care? Not want them? I can’t just keep feeling like I’m dying day after day. Any advice (other than the self respect thing, I got it, seriously) would be helpful, thank you.

We were in different countries and couldn’t come up with a satisfactory solution to close the gap meaningfully and for long.

Truth is she started expressing the distance draining her 2 months ago (it was true for sure, I saw it) and her overworked job didn’t help.

Now we break up but I think even if distance was solved she wouldn’t stay. So it seems to me she just lost the feelings towards me for whatever reason.

Am I allowed to ask something like: “was it really the circumstances or did you just lose your feeling?”

Just running off and into something else so quick ok I'm so lost in this. Thanks for the f***ery

I was together with this guy for about a year and he broke up with me two months ago but for the past month we've been reconnecting and talking about trying to get back together. One of the problems in the relationship was trust as he would lie to me at times but one thing that broke a lot of trust was he masturbated to porn and hid it from me for about a week until he eventually told me. I know different couples have different stances on how they feel about porn. He had told me he didn't think it was right in a relationship and so I trusted him that he didn't look at it. I was devastated when he told me about what he did especially because I send him a lot of pictures and videos of myself so I didn't see why there was a need to look for other things. He told me he felt awful about it and that he hasn't looked at anything like that since then. He's been spending the past few days with me and we've been really romantic with each other and intimate and still talking about how we love each other and would like to try again. I woke up before him one morning and I couldn't help it but to look at his phone. I found explicit pictures of women online in his deleted camera roll, a long list of models on facebook that he's recently been looking at, and a receipt from a porn site that he paid $10 for on a video. The video he bought was of the very same porn creator that he looked at two months ago that he told me about. I was once again devastated because I thought he truly regreted it and since he wanted to get back with me I thought he was trying to stop. The fact that he lied about not doing it since then also hurt tremendously. We've been intimate for the past month and we still send each other explicit pictures so again I didn't understand why he was seeking these things out and hiding it. I don't know how to bring it up to him. I know he will feel upset that I looked at his phone but I feel like I need to bring this up to him. How should I do it? today is his last day visiting before he goes home tomorrow and a part of me wants to not say anything to not ruin the good time we've been having but at the same time it's eating me alive to think about it.