/r/wemetonline
r/wemetonline is a subreddit for giving and receiving advice, venting frustrations and sharing stories about that special someone you met online. Just because you haven't touched him or her physically doesn't mean that your love is any less real.
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About this subreddit
r/wemetonline is a subreddit for giving and receiving advice, venting frustrations and sharing stories about that special someone you met online. Just because you haven't touched him or her physically doesn't mean that your love is any less real.
When you make a connection with someone that you haven't met it can be hard to explain to the people immediately around you what that feels like without them fearing for your safety and feeling like you're going to be scammed. We're all going through it here, so we know exactly how you feel.
Even if you've met your SO you are still welcome to post and share your stories! You haven't magically graduated our little family because of it!
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/r/wemetonline
Throwaway here - apologies in advance for the length of this. I’m currently spiraling and don’t know what to do 😞 For a bit of background, she and I met online and started talking back in June 2023. We went through a lot together - I helped her get out of a dangerous living situation, and she helped me get through the death of my grandfather. We have a ton in common - similar beliefs and principles, we’re both musicians, and we both like video games. Most recently, we’d been playing COD together all the time.
This girl was amazing - I was completely smitten, and she was more reserved, but we always flirted, and even shared spicy pics back and forth. We’d talked about meeting in person, and honestly things seemed great between us. We’d constantly be up until 3-4am talking to each other, gaming out, texting, and we would talk about almost anything. As sad as it is to say, I’ve never felt a connection to someone like I did with her.
We were texting like normal on Tuesday. I had a busy day at work, so I sent her a Snapchat message when I got off, headed to the gym, and sent another message from there. At that point, neither was opened or read, and I figured she was busy, no big deal. I wrapped up at the gym, went home, had dinner, etc., and I still hadn’t heard from her. I figured she was busy with the holidays and didn’t think much else about it, until I saw that she was active on Snapchat and her Snapscore was steady going up (we shared locations on Snapchat and all that).
The next day, my messages still went unopened, but the Snapscore had increased more, so I just sent her a Snap saying that I hope she has a good day off. I went about cleaning and running some errands, hit the gym again, and finished up late afternoon/early evening. By this point, I was worried that I did something to upset her, so I’ll admit I was checking Snapchat more than was healthy. The whole time, her Snapscore just kept going up. I’m not a psycho (famous last words, I know) and I’m happy that she has friends and other people to talk to. However, at this point I felt it was clear she was going out of her way not to look at my messages. I sent her a message asking if everything was okay, and if there was anything she wanted to talk about, then hopped onto Call of Duty to try to keep busy.
Once I got on, I saw that she was online too. I hopped into her lobby, and tried calling her on Discord (she was chat banned at the time) - call ignored. She saw that I was in game with her - did our usual squats to acknowledge each other at the start of the match and all that. So we kept playing in silence. After that match, I tried calling her again, but she ignored it again. I sent her an in game message asking if she was mad at me or something, and then she finally replied to me on Snapchat saying “no I’m just in a bad mood lol”. That gave me some piece of mind, so I told her that was fine, I’d give her some space.
I hopped off the game, ate dinner, and then went back upstairs. I went to send her a goodnight message wishing her a Happy Thanksgiving and to let her know I’m always there if she wants to chat. Suddenly, her profile disappears from Snapchat. I try to open our conversation, and I’m told the user can’t be found. She blocked me, and I immediately went into a panic. I opened up Instagram to check there, and lo and behold, I was blocked there too. Hopped back onto Call of Duty, and she was no longer on my friend list. Every single platform we communicated on - blocked.
She was slower to remove me from Discord, so I fired off a message saying I saw she blocked me, and let her know that I was devastated, but that if she wanted me out of her life, I would respect her decision. I did ask her to at least tell me why though, so I could at least try to get some closure to carry me through my impending mental breakdown. A few seconds later, her Discord profile showed that she blocked me there too.
We went from constant communication almost every day, talking about everything and being there for one another, to her suddenly cutting me off completely without any warning or any reason why. Honestly, I think what upsets me most is that she won’t at least just tell me why and say goodbye. I understand that long distance doesn’t work for everyone, and if someone wants to call it quits, then they’re more than entitled to do so. But the fact that this all happened so suddenly - from constant contact to complete ghosting - it makes me feel like someone has died. I feel like a part of me has died. If I’d gotten closure and/or a goodbye, that would be one thing, but having no warning and no reason is absolutely killing me.
I’ve spent the last few days with very little sleep, and I’m a complete emotional mess. I feel like I’m being completely irrational, and I know I probably handled things a bit too “clingy” at the end there, but I’ve genuinely never felt so devastated at any loss in my life as I do with this, even after failed relationships that weren’t long distance. I know where relationships are concerned, nobody is “entitled” to anything, but I have to ask - am I out of line feeling like I’ve been wronged in how I was cut off? Am I asking for too much in wanting a little bit of closure to the situation?
I’m so emotionally empty right now that I’m sure I rambled through half of this, but honestly the only thing I can do right now to keep myself sane is recount everything that happened. If anyone took the time to read this, then to them I say “thank you”. Feel free to comment or drop your 2 cents on the matter, but I can’t guarantee how much I’ll engage. I don’t feel like doing much of anything now, and I’m currently bouncing between waves of complete apathy towards everything and excruciating sadness that leaves me sobbing.
Hi everyone,
I’ve been in a long-distance connection with someone I met in person two years ago. We spent a whole day together and then parted ways at the end of our vacations. Since then, we’ve been talking regularly, and our bond has grown stronger. Now, he’s coming to visit me in Montreal and staying at my place.
We’ve talked openly about how unique this situation is, and we’ve both admitted to feeling moments of anxiety about it. I care about him and have strong feelings, but I also feel really unsure about what I’m doing or even fully feeling.
I don’t want to be judged—I just feel like I need someone’s insight. Has anyone navigated something similar? How do you figure out what’s real versus what’s imagined in a situation like this? Any advice or perspectives would really help.
Thanks so much.
shes here! forever! well we'll probably move somewhere else later but we're together at last. we've met up before the move btw ive been nervous because im a major commitmentphobe (not a cheater, just autistic) but having her here to stay has been incredible. its so nice to text her and ask her whats for dinner after work, and go home and shes there waiting for me, and we get to cuddle at night with no date that she has to leave. it can work yall! gl
We have been dating for a year now and are finally ready to talk about meeting up. We’re in different countries so it’s an hour or two plane ride away. We have talked about it before a while ago and agreed that we should meet at hers in spring when she’s 18 and should tell our parents around December time this year.
However, we talked yesterday about it more and she said she wanted to do it differently. She suggested flying to me instead accompanied by a friend, in the summer instead of spring, and only telling her parents a few weeks before the trip that she’s seeing me, or even after the trip is done. I have some big concerns with this.
One, I don’t want to meet for the first time in the summer because I hate the summer heat and I don’t like wearing just t shirts because I’m very skinny and insecure about it and don’t want that to be her first impression of me (I have shown her my body but it’s different irl).
Two, I understand why she’d want to bring her friend as if things go bad then she can be with her and she hasn’t flown before so it would help with that too. But I’m worried that I wouldn’t be able to see her as much as I’d like and that the first time we meet would be me with her and her friend which I don’t want a third wheel. I also don’t want her friend to be alone when she leaves to see me. Preferably she comes to me alone or I go to her alone. I want the trip to be special and about just us not a holiday with friends.
Third and most importantly, we have to tell our parents. I don’t see any way around it regardless of her coming her with or without a friend or me going to see her. I don’t know how to explain that to her without seeming rude but we just have to do it. If we delay it and then tell them under different circumstances maybe they’d be more mad and less supportive, particularly if we’ve already met/ telling them the few weeks before. Why not just tell them now and get it over with? If they aren’t supportive that’s annoying but we can make do especially when she’s 18, we can see each other regardless of what our parents think of it. And besides I think they’ll support it or at least the idea will grow on them over time.
All in all, I need to explain this to her but I don’t want to make her upset, so what should I do? Be upfront or tell it lightly or hold back?
I pulled together a "Truth or Dare" sex game for long distance couples. Truths & Dares go from vanilla to hardcore bdsm.
I thought some other redditors might like it, so here it is.
Truth/Dares are in random order, so skipping around is fine!
For more explicit Truth or Dares, please check out the app I made https://apps.apple.com/us/app/truth-or-dare-app-for-couples/id6474484893
Promo code for full version: TFNAKLXHNM3X
Some Examples:
Truths 1. What’s the naughtiest thing you’ve done while thinking of me when we’ve been apart? 2. If I were with you right now, what would you want to do first? 3. Have you ever touched yourself while on a call with me? What was going through your mind? 4. What’s the sexiest text or photo I’ve sent you that you still think about? 5. Describe what you would do to me if I was there with you right now. 6. What’s your favorite thing I’ve worn for you during our video calls? 7. What’s one fantasy you have about us that you’re dying to try when we’re back together? 8. What’s the hottest video chat we’ve ever had, and what made it special? 9. What’s one thing you miss most about our physical intimacy when we’re apart? 10. Have you ever wanted to sext or send a naughty photo at a time when I wasn’t expecting it?
Dares 1. Send me a sexy voice message describing what you’d do to me if we were together. 2. Flash me your favorite part of your body for 5 seconds during our video call. 3. Wear nothing but your underwear (or less) for the next video call. 4. Act out your favorite fantasy about us over text or a call. 5. Take a sexy photo of yourself right now and send it to me. 6. Describe in detail what you want me to do to you the next time we’re together. 7. Give me a private show during our next video chat—anything goes! 8. Send me a steamy text or message that will make me blush. 9. Set up a surprise video call, and when I answer, be in your sexiest outfit. 10. Try to turn me on using only your words for the next two minutes.
so this girl I've been texting/calling for past 6 months recently hasn't been texting me like she used to. I get she's busy with work and life but even after I ask if there's anything she says no and then goes another 24+ hours to send another text.
when I asked her what was wrong she said she's on YouTube these days and not insta... like okay but don't you get like 5 mins to at least let me know you're busy or something? cmon I'm not asking for back to back convo just one sentence "im busy I'll text when I get time" or something would've been enough. instead she just replies to whatever I have sent her previously and nothing else.
this is not the first time things like this happened with me, even the previous ones have been like this. I now think there's a problem with me. Ive just given up completely now, can't keep doing this anymore.
hello everyone, okay so there is a content creator (M~30) who i (F20) found on instagram who lives in my city. we share similar interests and we were born in the same country (we’re both immigrants where we live now). he has ~10k followers on instagram, and i assume he’s single now (based on what i’ve stalked about him online).
i replied to his story once just to see if he’s checking his dm requests and he replied back. i didn’t text him anything special, just wanted to see if he’s gonna reply lol
so now i’m thinking should i make a move and somehow make us meet in real life and how can i do it
i’m a pretty shy person and i also think it would be kinda awkward or even creepy to hit him up with “hey yo let’s meet up for coffee” or something. but at the same time i think that if i do it and he rejects me i can just move on and i don’t need to live with those “what if” thoughts.
any ideas guys? should i move on and leave him alone? or should i try? and if yes, then how? maybe y’all have similar experience or y’all heard some stories like that?
My partner and I have been using MovieJar for our movie nights - it lets you both add movies to a shared digital jar and randomly picks one when you're ready to watch. Perfect for those watch party nights when you can't decide what to stream, and a fun date night activity to do together. https://www.themoviejar.com/
It's exactly as the title says. My boyfriend has some problems dealing with stuff from his past, and he spirals often (maybe around once a week). Usually, I try to comfort him, but my idea of comfort isn't what comforts him. Usually I try to reassure him, and give advice on what he's dealing with, but he's saying that doesn't help. He says he wants me to just be there for him, but I don't know how to do that. He says that I'm not his boyfriend when he's not feeling good, and that I'm more like a therapist when that's not what he needs when he's feeling that way. This is my first ever relationship, and this is the only person I've really loved my whole life. I know that more like than not, we're not going to last. But I at least want to last as long as possible. I want to be the best I can for him. He's been doing great as a partner, but I feel like I'm not living up to expectations. Any advice on how to just show up for my partner, and be there for him? For context, we're both in high school, and planning to meet up after high school to go to college. I really love him, and I want us to work out or to at least last long, and end up as a healthy relationship. I appreciate any advice given to me, thank you for reading and thank you for your time.
I’m having a bit of a situationship going on in my head. I really like this person, but I’m not sure if they feel the same way about me. I’m not sure how to act around them, and I’m also worried about being left out, never been in one before.
I'm close friends with a guy I met online in 2019. There's also some romantic backround. We never met (hopefully yet, we kind of started discussing that). My friend just got out of military after almost 6 years and he's moving back to his hometown. As far as I know he wasn't seeing anyone the whole time he was in military. I'm very happy for him, because I know he hated it there, but at the same time I can't stop being upset. I don't wanna sound selfish, but I'm worried he'll find someone now that he's out and just slowly forget I exist. Real girls have to be better than virtual ones after all, no? Does anyone have any advice how to deal with those thoughts?
Me and my girlfriend have been together a year later this November (never met until early next year). I really love her and want to get her something nice for our 1 year anniversary but I’m not sure exactly what to get or what she’ll want. We both play video games a lot so I was thinking about buying a game that she might want, but I also want this to be special and I’m thinking about getting something more. I could get her a bracelet or other jewellery but I don’t know her address and don’t have much money…
Any ideas on what to get?
hi! i’m 20F and my online friend is 18 and nonbinary! we met on discord in a supernatural server 6 months ago. i directly messaged them after they said something funny, and from there we were immediately friends. they actually live in another country, and it’s a 5 hour time difference. but starting from there, we talked every day. some days it’s 4 hours a day, sometimes it’s 2. but it’s every day, and i can’t help but realize that i really, really like them. i think i’ve known for a few weeks, now. it feels like i’ve known them for years. we’ve already planned for me to fly out there in 2026 after we both save. we’ve both said things that don’t sound very platonic, but there’s no way of knowing until you actually ask, which i’m terrified to do because at the end of the day, they’re my best friend and it would hurt to lose them. does anyone else have experience with the kind of will-we won’t-we thing?
Throwaway account. And I don’t wanna to share too many details for privacy reasons
But long story short. He started washing alpha male content few months ago. Probably started believing that all that.
I just miss talking with to him, as we always used to . He is experiencing me to start conversations but I can’t do that without him even paying attention to me. Most of the time I just get ghosted.
I don’t if I’m doing something wrong, or just idk. I just want the old him
Hi! So I met on Saturday (10/19/24) through reddit (different subreddit) since I wanted to play someone to play pixelmon with.
We've played together on Monday and Tuesdays for roughly around an hour and a half to two hours both days.
So far our convos have either been about the game (we're playing on a public server) or some basic things (movies, tv shows, what our plans for Halloween are, & anime).
Anyway, after our first ever call on Monday, I just couldn't stop thinking about them. And my initial thought was "do I have a crush on this person?"
For context: I'm 17 and they're 19. We only recently met (online). And she lives two states below me (and share the same time zone). I've never had a crush on an actual person before either. (Fictional and celebrity crushes are completely different)
I don't want to rush things either considering we only met. I mean we already exchanged numbers but that is because discord wasn't properly working as we couldn't hear each other so they suggested we exchange numbers. I made sure that they weren't uncomfortable about it either.
But in the end we exchange numbers so we could call while playing pixelmon.
So should I just try to get closer to them and know them more as a friend right now? Meeing them irl is out of the question as they live two states away and I start college next fall.
Also, I'm not sure if they're into girls either. (They use they/she pronouns according to their discord profile and they definitely sound feminine so they're afab from my assumptions) But I also just feel a little weird for asking since we only met a few days ago so it's too early to tell, that's for sure.
(Note: I made a new reddit acc so she won't see this post as we met through reddit and I wanted to hear advice from other people)
Just out of curiosity, what do adults who know what it's like to fall in love online think about these apps? (For those who don't know they are apps to make friends as teens but almost everyone uses it to date)
Okay so this will be kind of long. Anyways, when I was 17, I got really into basketball and so I downloaded twitter to like talk about it. On it, I found this account that loved the same team and players I did and they were really funny so I just followed them as like they were my fave account. Over the days, I realised they were my same age and literally only lived like 20 minutes away from me and they were just genuinely so fun to talk to and has aspirations of going to a good uni and becoming a lawyer and they loved history and im a MASSIVE history geek so it felt like we had so much in common. By this point I had like fallen for this person which sounds insane cause I have never met him. 2 years later, he fell in love with another girl (obviously), but when it didn't work out between them, we were planned on meeting so I was obviously like wow all of this waiting and hoping has been worth it. But then for some stupid reason I told him how I liked him and he said it's best we don't meet etc. and that he doesn't feel the same for me cause it was all online and now I'm literally heartbroken. There's more to this story where I sort of messaged him a few times even though he left me on seen and like I know I'm a problem, but it's been 3 years and I can't move on and I never even met the guy. Is this some insane limerence? what do I do? How do I get over it? I think it's limerence ,but then again I did genuinely like him, and there was one night when he expressed interest in me and I was the most happy, whereas I guess if it was limerence I wouldn't have really liked the reciprocation? But I'm just so depressed and I want a guy I never met so so bad it's insane
I used to own a discord account that was getting some traction in a specific type of community months ago. I would post on reddit looking for those who may be interested in joining. One day, this reddit user with a pink haired avatar messaged me asking to join. I let them in. Gave her a rundown how to use discord cause it was her first time. About a week goes by, she confesses she is intrigued by me. I was into her as well. She ends up buying a plane ticket from UK to Canada (Where I live). We fell in love like crazy. Now were engaged as of two weeks ago. This has been the best 6 months of my life
I never imagined I’d end up in a long-distance relationship, let alone with someone I met online. But when I connected with Ethan, everything changed.
We met on a social media platform, completely by chance. At first, it was just casual comments on each other’s posts, but soon we found ourselves messaging back and forth about everything: music, books, life. It didn’t take long for those daily conversations to become the highlight of my day. Despite being over 1,500 miles apart, we formed a connection that felt surprisingly real.
After a few weeks of constant messaging, we moved to video calls, and that’s when I knew this was more than just an online friendship. Seeing his face, hearing his voice, it made everything feel so much more personal. Ethan was kind, funny, and we shared so many similar interests. The miles between us didn’t seem to matter.
As we grew closer, the idea of meeting in person became something we couldn’t ignore. I was nervous, of course. We had built this strong connection online, but what if things were different when we met face-to-face? Still, we decided to take the leap, and I booked a flight to visit him.
Meeting him at the airport was surreal. After months of talking online, there he was, standing right in front of me. All my worries disappeared the moment we hugged for the first time. It was like we had known each other forever.
That first weekend together was incredible. We spent the entire time exploring his city, talking, laughing, and just enjoying each other’s company. It felt like a dream, but I knew that eventually, I’d have to go back home, and we’d be back to video calls and texts.
The distance was harder to handle after that. We still talked every day, but after meeting in person, it was tough not being able to see him whenever I wanted. Some days, the longing felt overwhelming, especially when I’d see couples out together and wish we could have that too.
But despite the challenges, we made it work. We set up regular visits, counting down the days until we could see each other again. Whether it was just for a weekend or a longer stay, those trips became our lifeline. Each visit made the time apart a little more bearable.
Eventually, we had to face the reality that long-distance wasn’t a permanent solution. We started talking about the future, and after a lot of discussion, Ethan made the decision to move to my city. It wasn’t easy for him to leave his life behind, but we both knew it was the only way to truly be together.
I’ll never forget the day he arrived for good. No more airport goodbyes, no more months of waiting between visits. After everything we went through, the distance was finally behind us.
Looking back, meeting online and falling in love from afar wasn’t what I expected, but it taught us so much about patience, communication, and how strong our connection really was. The distance tested us in ways I never imagined, but in the end, it only made us stronger. Now, every day with him reminds me that love can cross any distance, even if it starts with a message from a stranger online.
ghosted me after months of talking, the end.
We met online a little over two years ago. In fact, we met right here on Reddit!
Our connection was instant and it didn’t take long before we knew we were meant to be. We were engaged a little more than a year later, and we officially became husband and wife earlier this month.
Thank you to the Reddit community and those of you who share your stories here. This platform gave us the opportunity to find the love of our lives, and we hope our story inspires others.
To all those navigating online connections, listen to your heart and hang in there—it can lead to something amazing! ❤️💍🕊
I just wanted to vent somewhere because I have no one to really talk to about the pain, hurt, and confusion I am experiencing right now. I just don't understand how someone can show every possible sign of chemistry, love, and desire when we meet in person and then later say it wasn't there the entire time and destroy a beautiful, loving relationship in an instant.
Background: I met my boyfriend (now ex) through a Discord server at the beginning of February. We slowly started dming. Then we switched to one-on-one calls, and the conversations got so deep and personal. After a few weeks, we were dming or in a call 24/7. We clicked so easily and seamlessly. We developed feelings before even sharing photos, and then after sharing photos and realizing there was an attraction, we started frequent phone sex. About a month and a half later, we became an official couple, said I love you, shared that we thought we were soulmates, and made plans for the future like me moving in with him, marriage, etc. We did everything together – sleeping, chores, errands, showering, working. We talked so much and learned everything about each other. I have never been so compatible and in tune with anyone in my life. We used so many words of affirmation, validating each other's emotions and showering each other with compliments. It was fast, but this was just one of those intense, deep, strong connections where emotions developed immediately. We discussed a lot about past trauma and were so loving and supportive of each other. Any minor issues were met with the healthiest communication, understanding, and dedication to finding a solution. This relationship trajectory continued over the next 7 months.
The meetup: I moved about 30 minutes away from him, so we decided to finally meet. The plan was for him to spend the weekend at my place – Fri through Sun. Fri night rolls around. I shave everywhere, slather myself in lotion, put on a cute dress, do my makeup, do my hair. I'm nervous as hell, feeling scared he will be disappointed in how I look when he meets me because I struggle with low self esteem (have been in therapy for years about this and he knows), but I think my face looks pretty and my tits look great. He calls to say that he's here outside my front door. I open the front door, so scared. He immediately breaks into a big smile, grabs me and pulls me in close with his arms around my neck, and kisses me. I am startled for a moment because I wasn't expecting him to immediately kiss me, so the first kiss is kind of an awkward angle. I move my head back a smidge, then lean forward again to kiss him properly. To me, this second kiss feels perfect. It feels natural and like our lips were meant to fit together. After this second kiss, he hugs me super tight, squeezing me like he doesn't want to let me go, and whispers in my ear that my lips are as soft as he imagined. We go inside to put his stuff in my bedroom. He again pulls me close, is looking me straight in my eyes, and is telling me that I am so beautiful, so pretty, and that he loves me so much. He starts kissing me again, and he gets very passionate with it, pushing me backwards onto the bed. While we are making out with him on top of me, he starts running his hand up my leg, across my butt, and then starts to put his hand inside my panties. I am insanely nervous and still self-conscious, and I ask him if he can take things a bit slower until I feel more comfortable. I tell him how nervous I am, and he says I don’t need to worry and he will make me feel less nervous. We go out to eat, then we cuddle up on the couch watching a movie. While cuddling, he is smelling my hair, telling me that I smell so amazing. I tell him it's probably my shampoo, and he says that no, it's just me, my smell, and he loves it. While I lay my head on his chest, he plays with my hair, runs his fingers down my ear and neck, kisses my head, interlaces his fingers with mine. Halfway through the movie, he grabs my jaw and turns my face to him and begins kissing me passionately. He starts kissing down my neck, giving me hickies on my neck and collarbone. He pulls the top of my dress down to kiss/lick all over my chest. I'm very into this, so I climb onto his lap, straddling him, pushing my hands against his chest, and making out with him passionately. I start grinding against his lap, and we start breathing heavily. I suggest we go in the bedroom, so we lie down on the bed and he resumes making out with me, kissing me very hard and intensely, mashing his body against mine. He's breathing really heavily, grabbing and slapping my butt and telling me how much he loves my butt. I start grinding against him again while making out and moaning a bit. He asks if he can feel how wet I am, and I say yes. We have sex. He seems very into it. I know I am. I am moaning loudly, he's very turned on by my moans, he keeps telling me that he wants to make me orgasm. Afterwards, we hold each other, our foreheads pressed against each other, saying how much we love each other. He tells me my skin is so smooth while he runs his fingers down my side. He kisses my cheeks and says my face is so soft. He kisses my nose and says I have the cutest nose. He kisses my eyelids and says I have the prettiest eyes. We get up to brush our teeth, then he spoons me in bed while kissing my shoulder and grabbing my chest, and I wiggle deep down up against him so our bodies couldn't be closer. We fall asleep like this, and I'm so happy and peaceful in that moment.
The breakup: Then everything changes? He can't really sleep because of noises, heat, etc. He tosses and turns a lot, then decides at 6am that he needs to go back to his house to sleep because he's exhausted and can't sleep at my place. He seems agitated and cranky, says sorry but he won't be pleasant to be around when he's sleep deprived. Then he hurriedly dresses and packs his things up. I am confused and quiet. He quickly kisses me bye and says he loves me as he rushes out the door. This is the last time I ever see him. Then for the next three days, he barely responds to my texts. He tells me that he has this crazy stomach virus with intense stomach pain that keeps him up, so he's exhausted and miserable. I'm so worried about him. I offer to bring him meds, gatorade, etc., and he declines. On the third day of very limited contact, I start to get this sinking feeling that he's avoiding me. Finally Monday night, he calls to break up with me. He says, "I didn't feel any romantic chemistry, and I think you probably feel the same way too." I say, "No. I don't feel the same. I absolutely felt romantic chemistry and have felt it for the entirety of our relationship." Then he says, "Well, I immediately didn’t feel any spark when we first kissed at your front door." When I hear this, I become very confused and flabbergasted. I ask, "Why did you constantly initiate kissing me, constantly hug me, constantly hold and squeeze me tight, constantly breathe me in while holding me, constantly kiss me softly while saying you love me and that I'm so beautiful and pretty, constantly hold my hand, constantly cuddle me, constantly stroke my hair and run your fingers down my arms, constantly press your forehead against mine and tell me how happy you were that we were finally together in person, constantly initiate sexual contact/sex, spoon me to sleep, etc IF YOU FELT NO SPARK OR CHEMISTRY FROM THE START?" And then he sputtered, "I felt FINE Friday night. I was basically comatose all day Saturday from the stomach pain. So I didn't realize until I woke up on Sunday morning that there was no romantic chemistry!" I was so blindsided and speechless during this call that it only lasted like 5 minutes because I couldn't process what he had said and had no idea what to say in response. He sounded very cold and emotionless like a robot. I was about to start crying, so I awkwardly said goodbye and ended the call. A few hours later, I sent him a text, saying that I didn't have a chance to process and speak during the call earlier because I was in shock but wanting to share that I was so hurt and blindsided by all of this and that I thought we had chemistry and that we were so compatible and saying that I was not fully understanding what what wrong. He never responded.
I am SO CONFUSED. I'm assuming when he says no spark or romantic chemistry, he means that he wasn't physically attracted to me in person. I sent him so many photos of myself - all recent, makeup and no makeup, cute dresses and also sweatshirts, different angles and lighting, nudes where my bits are shown in bright lighting. We facetimed many times for hours, including when I was sick and grubby in pajamas. He always made me feel so beautiful and sexually desired, INCLUDING on the Friday night we met when he used his words, tone of voice, facial expressions, body language, soft and affectionate touch, intense and passionate touch, frequency of physical and sexual contact, commenting on loving my scent and how my skin felt, how long and tight he kept holding me for, etc – all indicators I usually see as signs of chemistry. I can understand being disappointed with someone's appearance in person, but if it's to the point of not being attracted to them at all upon meeting, then you wouldn't be aggressively trying to kiss them, have sex with them, hold them, shower them with compliments, etc. If he had been honest on Friday night, had held off on physical touch after the first kiss when there was allegedly no spark, and then had the awkward and difficult conversation of telling me that he didn't feel a physical attraction, I would have been hurt and embarrassed, but I would have also understood and respected him for telling me that. However, instead, he went through this crazy charade of acting so convincingly in love and horny the entire night. I fell asleep Friday night thinking the night was perfect, and now that I've learned that he never felt a spark or any chemistry, I am horrified and feel like the whole night was a lie. I feel led on, deceived, manipulated, used. I feel like this man I met wasn't the man I fell in love with over the past 7 months. The man I fell in love with was open, honest, transparent, and his actions always matched his words. That man would have never done this to me. The man I met Friday night feels like an imposter wearing a skin suit. Even if his intentions for so aggressively initiating/pursuing physical contact Friday night were good, it doesn't matter because of the consequences; it doesn't change that it was cruel to me. He knew I struggled with self-esteem issues, and most importantly, he knew that I have a history of sexual trauma and have to take everything with sex very slowly and only while in a loving, committed relationship. He knew all of this, and despite already knowing he didn't feel a spark or chemistry with me, he had sex with me anyway and then dumped me. This feels like the ultimate selfish and disrespectful move with absolutely no regard for my emotions, my heart or my mental state. I feel so betrayed and don't know how I will ever trust someone again when they tell me they love me or that they think I'm beautiful or that they think I'm sexy and want me. I will always be reminded of this man who put on an Oscar award winning performance and then threw me away like old trash.
I’ve been talking to this guy for almost five months now, and things have been going really well! We’re 7500 km apart, and we originally met on Reddit (I’m using a burner account, so he won’t see this post).
His birthday is coming up, and I’ve been thinking about getting him something special. I already have a good idea of what he might appreciate as a gift, but then there’s my mom…
She keeps insisting that it’s not “classy” for a woman to send the first gift, warning that he might ghost me, and that it’s pointless because he’s not worth the effort—blah, blah, blah.
But honestly, I’m excited about this. We both love books and have deep conversations about science and history. One of the things I’ve planned is to give him a small wooden box filled with 365 notes—each with a quote or random fact he can read daily, up until his next birthday.
Still, a part of me wonders if this might be too much for a gift. Am I overdoing it?
Recently created a Truth or Dare app with different levels of spiciness and activities for couples to play and connect more (especially for LDR).
There are a lot of good resources out there like lists of interesting questions to get to know each other even more deeply or things like that, but this is an interactive game like format.
Any feedback in the comments is appreciated
https://apps.apple.com/us/app/truth-or-dare-app-for-couples/id6474484893
Hi, my intention is to understand clearly and not judge you or anything.
First of all, I'm one of you, I come in peace! I'm in an LDR with a guy I met on-line but I can't understand how you and him use this titles.
Can someone truly be your partner when you've never met? When you have no idea what he or she is doing behind the screen? Isn't this mostly a mentally and probably false representation of your emotions?
Hi everyone,
I (21M) have been in a long-distance relationship with my boyfriend (27M) for about 2.5 years. We’re currently living about a 12-hour car ride apart, so we don’t get to see each other very often. For a while now, we’ve been discussing closing the gap and living in the same city.
We decided that it makes the most sense for him to move to my country, since I’m still in university and can't afford to move or drop out after 5 semesters. For context, he's divorced and has full custody of his 6-year-old daughter. His daughter is not in contact with her mother, as she has a history of being abusive and doesn’t visit or call even on court-ordered dates. I get along well with his daughter – we’ve done things like painting nails together, and we communicate as much as we can despite a language barrier.
Here’s where things get tricky...
Last night, my boyfriend admitted he's feeling a lot of stress about the move, but he reassured me it’s not because of me – he's putting pressure on himself. I’ve tried not to bring the topic up too often because I know it’s a big deal for him.
We talked about how he’d like to move forward with the plan, and even though we had previously agreed that it wouldn’t be ideal for us to move in together right away (for his child’s well-being and to ease the transition), he’s had a change of heart. After talking with his girl best friend, she suggested they move to my country together.
They’ve been friends for years, and they text and call often. I’ve never had an issue with their friendship, though I always thought it would be nice if we had been introduced properly at some point. But what’s really bothering me is that she also suggested they move into an apartment together, along with his child.
This makes me uncomfortable for a few reasons. First, I don’t understand why it’s okay for his child to live with her – someone she’s never met – but not with me, when we’ve already established a good relationship. Second, his best friend even offered to babysit his daughter for some extra money, and I can’t help but feel a bit weird about the whole arrangement.
I did ask him if he or his friend ever had feelings for each other, and he reassured me they’re just friends. But our original plan was for me to move in with him and his daughter after she’s more settled, and now that seems to be off the table because of this new arrangement.
When I asked him if this is how things will be long-term, he said no but didn’t really give me more details. I don’t know if I’m overreacting or if my feelings are valid here. Is it weird that I feel uncomfortable about this, or am I just spiraling?
Ok I know I sound crazy, I might be a bit delulu, more than a bit. But but hear me out. So I have a really bad problem with parasocial relationships. I liked/have a fat crush on this person that I saw online and they’re kinda famous in terms of their job and I’ve seen that have a few fan accounts on social media too, but the thing is they have about 500 followers on Instagram. I’ve never actually had a conversation with this person, but from their interviews I really like their perspective and just way of thinking, and this he’s really cute. I sent them a dm just asking a question and he hasn’t responded. But I just wanna know has there been someone out there that’s managed to date someone like this. Is it even possible to get to know them and get closer? And are there more people like me. And I’m sorry if I sound insane.
Hey guys,
I’m curious to know if any of you are in or have been in long distance relationships; success stories? Run while you can stories? Is it possible to love someone without meeting them in person?
I’m looking for real life experience if you’re willing to share.
I’m a 30f who met a 34m on Facebook dating. I set my location to his area because I was going to be moving there. We live 8.5 hours apart (600 miles). My move got pushed back. I’m kind of scared that the distance will ruin what could be here.