/r/wemetonline

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r/wemetonline is a subreddit for giving and receiving advice, venting frustrations and sharing stories about that special someone you met online. Just because you haven't touched him or her physically doesn't mean that your love is any less real.

No soliciting

If you are from a casting company, need to do a questionnaire, or any kind of survey, please do not post that here. This is a community, not a focus group. Try r/samplesize.

No Self-Promotion

We do not allow self-promotion in this subreddit. If your only purpose to create a post is to share your content, it's not a good idea to post it here. Try r/selfpromotion.


About this subreddit

r/wemetonline is a subreddit for giving and receiving advice, venting frustrations and sharing stories about that special someone you met online. Just because you haven't touched him or her physically doesn't mean that your love is any less real.


When you make a connection with someone that you haven't met it can be hard to explain to the people immediately around you what that feels like without them fearing for your safety and feeling like you're going to be scammed. We're all going through it here, so we know exactly how you feel.


Even if you've met your SO you are still welcome to post and share your stories! You haven't magically graduated our little family because of it!


We're a very open community, but abuse, bullying and rudeness for the sake of rudeness will not be tolerated and will result in a subreddit ban.


Advice Post Requirements

If you're looking for advice from the community please include the following information in the body of your post.


  1. Ages: This is so we tailor the advice to your age range. The advice we'd give to a 15 year old is very different to a 25 year old. ~
  2. Length of Relationship: Is it a new baby relationship, or have you known each other for years? ~
  3. Your Meetup Status: Are you nevermets? Have you met once? Do you have plans to meet, or have you never talked about it?

Update Post Requirements

Please include a link to your previous topics so we can follow along with your story!


No Crossposting Links.

Feel free to post your story or question from another subreddit, we're happy to give you another perspective. But please do not direct link from other subreddits. Instead copy and paste the text into a new topic here. All topics that crosspost link will be removed.


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/r/wemetonline

30,513 Subscribers

2

I confronted my close friend about his behavior which I don't like and now he's not talking to me. What should I do?

I'm (21F) close online friends with this guy (24M) for almost 6 years. We had a long break from talking due to his personal issues and a situation that happened last December. For the past few days he was ignoring me. He was posting stuff on his instagram story and wouldn't text me back even to say he's busy or not in a mood to talk right now, which I'd understand. Yesterday I've had a bad day and confronted him about it. He didn't text me since then and now I'm worried he won't talk to me for a long time again. What should I do now? Should I apologize? Wait a few days and pretend nothing happened?

3 Comments
2024/10/31
16:01 UTC

4

He started washing “alpha male content” and he changed

Throwaway account. And I don’t wanna to share too many details for privacy reasons

But long story short. He started washing alpha male content few months ago. Probably started believing that all that.

I just miss talking with to him, as we always used to . He is experiencing me to start conversations but I can’t do that without him even paying attention to me. Most of the time I just get ghosted.

I don’t if I’m doing something wrong, or just idk. I just want the old him

3 Comments
2024/10/31
11:51 UTC

0

Im South indian 31M well behaved guy looking for Female

For sharing thoughts better understand, or meet to travel etc

5 Comments
2024/10/31
02:20 UTC

5

we met a week ago and she said she wants us to be freinds

hey guys i meet some girl online anyway we are vibing together we are chatting everyday so i told her i feel i know you from long time she said we are gonna be best freinds well i said who know she was like what i didn't said anything well i started catching emotion do you advice me to confess to her and when ?

6 Comments
2024/10/28
15:50 UTC

8

Just met someone through reddit and not sure what to do

Hi! So I met on Saturday (10/19/24) through reddit (different subreddit) since I wanted to play someone to play pixelmon with.

We've played together on Monday and Tuesdays for roughly around an hour and a half to two hours both days.

So far our convos have either been about the game (we're playing on a public server) or some basic things (movies, tv shows, what our plans for Halloween are, & anime).

Anyway, after our first ever call on Monday, I just couldn't stop thinking about them. And my initial thought was "do I have a crush on this person?"

For context: I'm 17 and they're 19. We only recently met (online). And she lives two states below me (and share the same time zone). I've never had a crush on an actual person before either. (Fictional and celebrity crushes are completely different)

I don't want to rush things either considering we only met. I mean we already exchanged numbers but that is because discord wasn't properly working as we couldn't hear each other so they suggested we exchange numbers. I made sure that they weren't uncomfortable about it either.

But in the end we exchange numbers so we could call while playing pixelmon.

So should I just try to get closer to them and know them more as a friend right now? Meeing them irl is out of the question as they live two states away and I start college next fall.

Also, I'm not sure if they're into girls either. (They use they/she pronouns according to their discord profile and they definitely sound feminine so they're afab from my assumptions) But I also just feel a little weird for asking since we only met a few days ago so it's too early to tell, that's for sure.

(Note: I made a new reddit acc so she won't see this post as we met through reddit and I wanted to hear advice from other people)

4 Comments
2024/10/24
02:31 UTC

9

Me and my girlfriend aren’t intimate anymore

Just so we are clear, we are both very happy in our relationship and have little to no problems with each other past the occasional argument, and I love her with all my heart and I still think she feels the same for me. I know that all relationships are different and some don’t have any sort of virtual sex or intimacy online, some have a lot, and some have a little. We haven’t met yet so to me, online intimacy is quite important, and we only text once things, no nudes or video calls for this stuff.

It’s been nearly 3 months since the last time we did anything sex related and it’s making me quite upset at this point as it used to be something we’d do multiple times a week sometimes. I have tired to start things with her quite a lot when I’m feeling it, and she tells me she’s too tired or isn’t feeling it (which I always understand) but have asked her to tell me when or if she’s feeling like it at any point if she wants.

I haven’t confronted her about it or anything, but it’s affecting me now and I really miss it. I’m just not sure how to go about telling her, what to say or if to say anything at all. I will always understand no matter what the reason is and will care for her if it’s something problematic in her life that she needs help with, but I just need to know if I’m doing something wrong or whatever it may be. Any advice or what to do?

7 Comments
2024/10/13
00:56 UTC

5

Opinions on wizz, yubo, purp etc.

Just out of curiosity, what do adults who know what it's like to fall in love online think about these apps? (For those who don't know they are apps to make friends as teens but almost everyone uses it to date)

1 Comment
2024/10/10
00:59 UTC

9

Really upset

Okay so this will be kind of long. Anyways, when I was 17, I got really into basketball and so I downloaded twitter to like talk about it. On it, I found this account that loved the same team and players I did and they were really funny so I just followed them as like they were my fave account. Over the days, I realised they were my same age and literally only lived like 20 minutes away from me and they were just genuinely so fun to talk to and has aspirations of going to a good uni and becoming a lawyer and they loved history and im a MASSIVE history geek so it felt like we had so much in common. By this point I had like fallen for this person which sounds insane cause I have never met him. 2 years later, he fell in love with another girl (obviously), but when it didn't work out between them, we were planned on meeting so I was obviously like wow all of this waiting and hoping has been worth it. But then for some stupid reason I told him how I liked him and he said it's best we don't meet etc. and that he doesn't feel the same for me cause it was all online and now I'm literally heartbroken. There's more to this story where I sort of messaged him a few times even though he left me on seen and like I know I'm a problem, but it's been 3 years and I can't move on and I never even met the guy. Is this some insane limerence? what do I do? How do I get over it? I think it's limerence ,but then again I did genuinely like him, and there was one night when he expressed interest in me and I was the most happy, whereas I guess if it was limerence I wouldn't have really liked the reciprocation? But I'm just so depressed and I want a guy I never met so so bad it's insane

7 Comments
2024/10/09
10:39 UTC

35

Discord to engaged

I used to own a discord account that was getting some traction in a specific type of community months ago. I would post on reddit looking for those who may be interested in joining. One day, this reddit user with a pink haired avatar messaged me asking to join. I let them in. Gave her a rundown how to use discord cause it was her first time. About a week goes by, she confesses she is intrigued by me. I was into her as well. She ends up buying a plane ticket from UK to Canada (Where I live). We fell in love like crazy. Now were engaged as of two weeks ago. This has been the best 6 months of my life

10 Comments
2024/10/07
05:37 UTC

29

Love Across the Miles

I never imagined I’d end up in a long-distance relationship, let alone with someone I met online. But when I connected with Ethan, everything changed.

We met on a social media platform, completely by chance. At first, it was just casual comments on each other’s posts, but soon we found ourselves messaging back and forth about everything: music, books, life. It didn’t take long for those daily conversations to become the highlight of my day. Despite being over 1,500 miles apart, we formed a connection that felt surprisingly real.

After a few weeks of constant messaging, we moved to video calls, and that’s when I knew this was more than just an online friendship. Seeing his face, hearing his voice, it made everything feel so much more personal. Ethan was kind, funny, and we shared so many similar interests. The miles between us didn’t seem to matter.

As we grew closer, the idea of meeting in person became something we couldn’t ignore. I was nervous, of course. We had built this strong connection online, but what if things were different when we met face-to-face? Still, we decided to take the leap, and I booked a flight to visit him.

Meeting him at the airport was surreal. After months of talking online, there he was, standing right in front of me. All my worries disappeared the moment we hugged for the first time. It was like we had known each other forever.

That first weekend together was incredible. We spent the entire time exploring his city, talking, laughing, and just enjoying each other’s company. It felt like a dream, but I knew that eventually, I’d have to go back home, and we’d be back to video calls and texts.

The distance was harder to handle after that. We still talked every day, but after meeting in person, it was tough not being able to see him whenever I wanted. Some days, the longing felt overwhelming, especially when I’d see couples out together and wish we could have that too.

But despite the challenges, we made it work. We set up regular visits, counting down the days until we could see each other again. Whether it was just for a weekend or a longer stay, those trips became our lifeline. Each visit made the time apart a little more bearable.

Eventually, we had to face the reality that long-distance wasn’t a permanent solution. We started talking about the future, and after a lot of discussion, Ethan made the decision to move to my city. It wasn’t easy for him to leave his life behind, but we both knew it was the only way to truly be together.

I’ll never forget the day he arrived for good. No more airport goodbyes, no more months of waiting between visits. After everything we went through, the distance was finally behind us.

Looking back, meeting online and falling in love from afar wasn’t what I expected, but it taught us so much about patience, communication, and how strong our connection really was. The distance tested us in ways I never imagined, but in the end, it only made us stronger. Now, every day with him reminds me that love can cross any distance, even if it starts with a message from a stranger online.

1 Comment
2024/10/06
07:29 UTC

1

A guy who I met online

ghosted me after months of talking, the end.

12 Comments
2024/10/01
13:51 UTC

93

We Met Online & Just Got Married!

We met online a little over two years ago. In fact, we met right here on Reddit!

Our connection was instant and it didn’t take long before we knew we were meant to be. We were engaged a little more than a year later, and we officially became husband and wife earlier this month.

Thank you to the Reddit community and those of you who share your stories here. This platform gave us the opportunity to find the love of our lives, and we hope our story inspires others.

To all those navigating online connections, listen to your heart and hang in there—it can lead to something amazing! ❤️💍🕊

20 Comments
2024/09/27
23:51 UTC

112

My Online BF Dumped Me After Meeting In-Person

I just wanted to vent somewhere because I have no one to really talk to about the pain, hurt, and confusion I am experiencing right now. I just don't understand how someone can show every possible sign of chemistry, love, and desire when we meet in person and then later say it wasn't there the entire time and destroy a beautiful, loving relationship in an instant. 

Background: I met my boyfriend (now ex) through a Discord server at the beginning of February. We slowly started dming. Then we switched to one-on-one calls, and the conversations got so deep and personal. After a few weeks, we were dming or in a call 24/7. We clicked so easily and seamlessly. We developed feelings before even sharing photos, and then after sharing photos and realizing there was an attraction, we started frequent phone sex. About a month and a half later, we became an official couple, said I love you, shared that we thought we were soulmates, and made plans for the future like me moving in with him, marriage, etc. We did everything together – sleeping, chores, errands, showering, working. We talked so much and learned everything about each other. I have never been so compatible and in tune with anyone in my life. We used so many words of affirmation, validating each other's emotions and showering each other with compliments. It was fast, but this was just one of those intense, deep, strong connections where emotions developed immediately. We discussed a lot about past trauma and were so loving and supportive of each other. Any minor issues were met with the healthiest communication, understanding, and dedication to finding a solution. This relationship trajectory continued over the next 7 months. 

The meetup: I moved about 30 minutes away from him, so we decided to finally meet. The plan was for him to spend the weekend at my place – Fri through Sun. Fri night rolls around. I shave everywhere, slather myself in lotion, put on a cute dress, do my makeup, do my hair. I'm nervous as hell, feeling scared he will be disappointed in how I look when he meets me because I struggle with low self esteem (have been in therapy for years about this and he knows), but I think my face looks pretty and my tits look great. He calls to say that he's here outside my front door. I open the front door, so scared. He immediately breaks into a big smile, grabs me and pulls me in close with his arms around my neck, and kisses me. I am startled for a moment because I wasn't expecting him to immediately kiss me, so the first kiss is kind of an awkward angle. I move my head back a smidge, then lean forward again to kiss him properly. To me, this second kiss feels perfect. It feels natural and like our lips were meant to fit together. After this second kiss, he hugs me super tight, squeezing me like he doesn't want to let me go, and whispers in my ear that my lips are as soft as he imagined. We go inside to put his stuff in my bedroom. He again pulls me close, is looking me straight in my eyes, and is telling me that I am so beautiful, so pretty, and that he loves me so much. He starts kissing me again, and he gets very passionate with it, pushing me backwards onto the bed. While we are making out with him on top of me, he starts running his hand up my leg, across my butt, and then starts to put his hand inside my panties. I am insanely nervous and still self-conscious, and I ask him if he can take things a bit slower until I feel more comfortable. I tell him how nervous I am, and he says I don’t need to worry and he will make me feel less nervous. We go out to eat, then we cuddle up on the couch watching a movie. While cuddling, he is smelling my hair, telling me that I smell so amazing. I tell him it's probably my shampoo, and he says that no, it's just me, my smell, and he loves it. While I lay my head on his chest, he plays with my hair, runs his fingers down my ear and neck, kisses my head, interlaces his fingers with mine. Halfway through the movie, he grabs my jaw and turns my face to him and begins kissing me passionately. He starts kissing down my neck, giving me hickies on my neck and collarbone. He pulls the top of my dress down to kiss/lick all over my chest. I'm very into this, so I climb onto his lap, straddling him, pushing my hands against his chest, and making out with him passionately. I start grinding against his lap, and we start breathing heavily. I suggest we go in the bedroom, so we lie down on the bed and he resumes making out with me, kissing me very hard and intensely, mashing his body against mine. He's breathing really heavily, grabbing and slapping my butt and telling me how much he loves my butt. I start grinding against him again while making out and moaning a bit. He asks if he can feel how wet I am, and I say yes. We have sex. He seems very into it. I know I am. I am moaning loudly, he's very turned on by my moans, he keeps telling me that he wants to make me orgasm. Afterwards, we hold each other, our foreheads pressed against each other, saying how much we love each other. He tells me my skin is so smooth while he runs his fingers down my side. He kisses my cheeks and says my face is so soft. He kisses my nose and says I have the cutest nose. He kisses my eyelids and says I have the prettiest eyes. We get up to brush our teeth, then he spoons me in bed while kissing my shoulder and grabbing my chest, and I wiggle deep down up against him so our bodies couldn't be closer. We fall asleep like this, and I'm so happy and peaceful in that moment. 

The breakup: Then everything changes? He can't really sleep because of noises, heat, etc. He tosses and turns a lot, then decides at 6am that he needs to go back to his house to sleep because he's exhausted and can't sleep at my place. He seems agitated and cranky, says sorry but he won't be pleasant to be around when he's sleep deprived. Then he hurriedly dresses and packs his things up. I am confused and quiet. He quickly kisses me bye and says he loves me as he rushes out the door. This is the last time I ever see him. Then for the next three days, he barely responds to my texts. He tells me that he has this crazy stomach virus with intense stomach pain that keeps him up, so he's exhausted and miserable. I'm so worried about him. I offer to bring him meds, gatorade, etc., and he declines. On the third day of very limited contact, I start to get this sinking feeling that he's avoiding me. Finally Monday night, he calls to break up with me. He says, "I didn't feel any romantic chemistry, and I think you probably feel the same way too." I say, "No. I don't feel the same. I absolutely felt romantic chemistry and have felt it for the entirety of our relationship." Then he says, "Well, I immediately didn’t feel any spark when we first kissed at your front door." When I hear this, I become very confused and flabbergasted. I ask, "Why did you constantly initiate kissing me, constantly hug me, constantly hold and squeeze me tight, constantly breathe me in while holding me, constantly kiss me softly while saying you love me and that I'm so beautiful and pretty, constantly hold my hand, constantly cuddle me, constantly stroke my hair and run your fingers down my arms, constantly press your forehead against mine and tell me how happy you were that we were finally together in person, constantly initiate sexual contact/sex, spoon me to sleep, etc IF YOU FELT NO SPARK OR CHEMISTRY FROM THE START?" And then he sputtered, "I felt FINE Friday night. I was basically comatose all day Saturday from the stomach pain. So I didn't realize until I woke up on Sunday morning that there was no romantic chemistry!" I was so blindsided and speechless during this call that it only lasted like 5 minutes because I couldn't process what he had said and had no idea what to say in response. He sounded very cold and emotionless like a robot. I was about to start crying, so I awkwardly said goodbye and ended the call. A few hours later, I sent him a text, saying that I didn't have a chance to process and speak during the call earlier because I was in shock but wanting to share that I was so hurt and blindsided by all of this and that I thought we had chemistry and that we were so compatible and saying that I was not fully understanding what what wrong. He never responded.

I am SO CONFUSED. I'm assuming when he says no spark or romantic chemistry, he means that he wasn't physically attracted to me in person. I sent him so many photos of myself - all recent, makeup and no makeup, cute dresses and also sweatshirts, different angles and lighting, nudes where my bits are shown in bright lighting. We facetimed many times for hours, including when I was sick and grubby in pajamas. He always made me feel so beautiful and sexually desired, INCLUDING on the Friday night we met when he used his words, tone of voice, facial expressions, body language, soft and affectionate touch, intense and passionate touch, frequency of physical and sexual contact, commenting on loving my scent and how my skin felt, how long and tight he kept holding me for, etc – all indicators I usually see as signs of chemistry. I can understand being disappointed with someone's appearance in person, but if it's to the point of not being attracted to them at all upon meeting, then you wouldn't be aggressively trying to kiss them, have sex with them, hold them, shower them with compliments, etc. If he had been honest on Friday night, had held off on physical touch after the first kiss when there was allegedly no spark, and then had the awkward and difficult conversation of telling me that he didn't feel a physical attraction, I would have been hurt and embarrassed, but I would have also understood and respected him for telling me that. However, instead, he went through this crazy charade of acting so convincingly in love and horny the entire night. I fell asleep Friday night thinking the night was perfect, and now that I've learned that he never felt a spark or any chemistry, I am horrified and feel like the whole night was a lie. I feel led on, deceived, manipulated, used. I feel like this man I met wasn't the man I fell in love with over the past 7 months. The man I fell in love with was open, honest, transparent, and his actions always matched his words. That man would have never done this to me. The man I met Friday night feels like an imposter wearing a skin suit. Even if his intentions for so aggressively initiating/pursuing physical contact Friday night were good, it doesn't matter because of the consequences; it doesn't change that it was cruel to me. He knew I struggled with self-esteem issues, and most importantly, he knew that I have a history of sexual trauma and have to take everything with sex very slowly and only while in a loving, committed relationship. He knew all of this, and despite already knowing he didn't feel a spark or chemistry with me, he had sex with me anyway and then dumped me. This feels like the ultimate selfish and disrespectful move with absolutely no regard for my emotions, my heart or my mental state. I feel so betrayed and don't know how I will ever trust someone again when they tell me they love me or that they think I'm beautiful or that they think I'm sexy and want me. I will always be reminded of this man who put on an Oscar award winning performance and then threw me away like old trash. 

67 Comments
2024/09/25
03:37 UTC

8

How do I know if I like this person online?

Hello! Me and this person started talking around a year and a half ago now. The past few months we've been getting closer and I think I feel something towards them? It's hard to tell though. I've considered myself aromantic for a while so the feeling is unfamiliar to me in general. Plus, the only other guy I've been with was in person but because this person lives on a different country I wouldnt really know what to do if we did get in a relationship. Am very much confused and would appreciate it if you guys could help me out a little!

1 Comment
2024/09/22
20:07 UTC

5

Should I get him a gift for his birthday?

I’ve been talking to this guy for almost five months now, and things have been going really well! We’re 7500 km apart, and we originally met on Reddit (I’m using a burner account, so he won’t see this post).

His birthday is coming up, and I’ve been thinking about getting him something special. I already have a good idea of what he might appreciate as a gift, but then there’s my mom…

She keeps insisting that it’s not “classy” for a woman to send the first gift, warning that he might ghost me, and that it’s pointless because he’s not worth the effort—blah, blah, blah.

But honestly, I’m excited about this. We both love books and have deep conversations about science and history. One of the things I’ve planned is to give him a small wooden box filled with 365 notes—each with a quote or random fact he can read daily, up until his next birthday.

Still, a part of me wonders if this might be too much for a gift. Am I overdoing it?

5 Comments
2024/09/22
19:32 UTC

3

Introducing a new game to help spice up your LDR!

Recently created a Truth or Dare app with different levels of spiciness and activities for couples to play and connect more (especially for LDR).
There are a lot of good resources out there like lists of interesting questions to get to know each other even more deeply or things like that, but this is an interactive game like format.

Any feedback in the comments is appreciated
https://apps.apple.com/us/app/truth-or-dare-app-for-couples/id6474484893

3 Comments
2024/09/21
09:27 UTC

9

Wdym bf/gf?

Hi, my intention is to understand clearly and not judge you or anything.

First of all, I'm one of you, I come in peace! I'm in an LDR with a guy I met on-line but I can't understand how you and him use this titles.

Can someone truly be your partner when you've never met? When you have no idea what he or she is doing behind the screen? Isn't this mostly a mentally and probably false representation of your emotions?

49 Comments
2024/09/19
08:29 UTC

6

My boyfriend (27m) and I (21m) want to close the distance but now he's ditching me to live in an apparment with his girl best friend. Any advice?

Hi everyone,

I (21M) have been in a long-distance relationship with my boyfriend (27M) for about 2.5 years. We’re currently living about a 12-hour car ride apart, so we don’t get to see each other very often. For a while now, we’ve been discussing closing the gap and living in the same city.

We decided that it makes the most sense for him to move to my country, since I’m still in university and can't afford to move or drop out after 5 semesters. For context, he's divorced and has full custody of his 6-year-old daughter. His daughter is not in contact with her mother, as she has a history of being abusive and doesn’t visit or call even on court-ordered dates. I get along well with his daughter – we’ve done things like painting nails together, and we communicate as much as we can despite a language barrier.

Here’s where things get tricky...
Last night, my boyfriend admitted he's feeling a lot of stress about the move, but he reassured me it’s not because of me – he's putting pressure on himself. I’ve tried not to bring the topic up too often because I know it’s a big deal for him.

We talked about how he’d like to move forward with the plan, and even though we had previously agreed that it wouldn’t be ideal for us to move in together right away (for his child’s well-being and to ease the transition), he’s had a change of heart. After talking with his girl best friend, she suggested they move to my country together.

They’ve been friends for years, and they text and call often. I’ve never had an issue with their friendship, though I always thought it would be nice if we had been introduced properly at some point. But what’s really bothering me is that she also suggested they move into an apartment together, along with his child.

This makes me uncomfortable for a few reasons. First, I don’t understand why it’s okay for his child to live with her – someone she’s never met – but not with me, when we’ve already established a good relationship. Second, his best friend even offered to babysit his daughter for some extra money, and I can’t help but feel a bit weird about the whole arrangement.

I did ask him if he or his friend ever had feelings for each other, and he reassured me they’re just friends. But our original plan was for me to move in with him and his daughter after she’s more settled, and now that seems to be off the table because of this new arrangement.

When I asked him if this is how things will be long-term, he said no but didn’t really give me more details. I don’t know if I’m overreacting or if my feelings are valid here. Is it weird that I feel uncomfortable about this, or am I just spiraling?

5 Comments
2024/09/18
13:39 UTC

0

Is it possible to get close to someone kinda famous and maybe date?

Ok I know I sound crazy, I might be a bit delulu, more than a bit. But but hear me out. So I have a really bad problem with parasocial relationships. I liked/have a fat crush on this person that I saw online and they’re kinda famous in terms of their job and I’ve seen that have a few fan accounts on social media too, but the thing is they have about 500 followers on Instagram. I’ve never actually had a conversation with this person, but from their interviews I really like their perspective and just way of thinking, and this he’s really cute. I sent them a dm just asking a question and he hasn’t responded. But I just wanna know has there been someone out there that’s managed to date someone like this. Is it even possible to get to know them and get closer? And are there more people like me. And I’m sorry if I sound insane.

12 Comments
2024/09/16
19:30 UTC

6

how can you know the person is trustworthy

Hello everyone, I'm (F22) and 5 months ago I downloaded a language exchange app.

On June I texted first time with a guy (M29). We still text each other and surely enjoy spending time. We were talking almost everyday ever since then and the vibe was just friendly. I can't say I've never saw him as more than a friend, cause I did, but he lives too far from me and how could i know he is real? Last month, he confessed to me. I felt so silly not telling him I feel the same. I told him I see him as a long distance friend and nothing more than that.

  • I was so afraid to confess, I couldn't trust him-

He lives in a different country, what could I do? Also, I said to myself "You don't know him", and truly he could be anybody. He may be a completely different person, and I think i made the mistake to tell him that.

He got disappointed but still tried to explain. He explained he doesn't want to be in LDR rn, he just wants to meet me one day and we'll see then. I said that we better not talk about this even again and if he wants to just be friends.

Ever since then i feel he is more distant and not so warm to me (even tho he tries not to show it) . I feel sad about it, cause deep down I know my heart wanted to meet him, still wants, but I honestly don't know if i can trust him.

So can you please tell me how can I know he is trustworthy and if so, what can I do to tell him I regret hiding my emotions?

12 Comments
2024/09/15
11:00 UTC

20

LDR Success Stories?

Hey guys,

I’m curious to know if any of you are in or have been in long distance relationships; success stories? Run while you can stories? Is it possible to love someone without meeting them in person?

I’m looking for real life experience if you’re willing to share.

I’m a 30f who met a 34m on Facebook dating. I set my location to his area because I was going to be moving there. We live 8.5 hours apart (600 miles). My move got pushed back. I’m kind of scared that the distance will ruin what could be here.

42 Comments
2024/09/12
23:54 UTC

8

She blocked me I think

met a girl here on reddit and have been talking to her privately, (I eventually made sure she wanted to continue talking, as we met on a post to a community we are both in and did not want to assume anything), blocked me today without responding (she doesn't OWE me a response, want to clarify that🤣) after I asked if talking anywhere else was okay, and if not "here" (as in Reddit private chat completely fine), but included my insta @ as we'll with said message. I just want to know I might have said/done wrong, so I can hopefully not share the same fate again with someone I would've liked to continue talking to. All advice appreciated, thank you. -26 Year old Virgin Male🤣

24 Comments
2024/09/12
22:38 UTC

10

Do I (24F) have feelings for my language exchange partner (22M)?

I (24F) met a guy (22M) in a language exchange app and we have been texting and calling almost everyday since we’ve met and I’m afraid I might be developing feelings for him, but we’ve never met IRL and there is such a long distance between us (6400km 😭) and I’m just so lost of what to do.

Some important info, I’ve been using this app for almost a year now, and there are others I talk with since a long time, however not as frequently as with him. And with these other people, I’ve never had these type of feelings before so I know it’s not just a normal thing for me to happen. Which is why I really need some advice.

So we met only 3 weeks ago. This was when he just created his account. He texted me first, saying he was new on this app and asking me if I could help him learn English and that he could teach me Kazakh (which is one of the languages I’m learning). He is from Asia, Kazakhstan and I am from Europe, Netherlands, with a Turkish background.

Now when he first texted me, he didn’t have a profile picture. And having experience using this app for a while, I am reluctant to speak to people with no pics because there are sadly many scammers on this app. However, his message and his hobbies on his profile somehow seemed friendly & fun, and since there are not many Kazakh people on this app I decided to reply. We immediately hit it off and were texting almost the entire day. We were mostly talking about which languages we spoke, our countries and I was explaining him about the app. Since Kazakh and Turkish are both turkic languages, we bonded over this as well. He seemed very serious in wanting to learn English and in willing to help me learn Kazakh (I just started learning this language). 

The second day already, he asked me if we could speak by sending voice messages because he mostly wanted to learn speaking & listening since he can’t do this in his own environment. Now despite using this app for a while, I don’t quickly send voice messages or do calls with people that i just met. I’m quite introverted and a bit shy so it takes me some time to feel comfortable enough to do this with my language partner.

I told him this and I said we can do it after learning a bit more through texting. Surprisingly he was very understanding about this (often people would just stop texting me), and he offered if I wanted to he could send me audio messages of the pronunciation of the Kazakh alphabet, but told me I don’t need to send him any audio messages in return. I said sure why not, if its not a bother I would appreciate it. Then he sent me 42 audio messages with each Kazakh letter and some example words 🤯. I listened to them all and told him which letters I found hard, and he gave me extra info about them. For the rest of the day, we texted almost the whole day, teaching each other about language. At night, I wanted to thank him for all his efforts and sent him an audio message saying “thank you” in Kazakh and he told me the same.

The next day we continued texting a lot more. Note this was all during my summer break so I had a lot of free time to be online so much lol. We now also texted about other things besides language, just like a casual conversation between friends, about his work and my study. Then we were speaking about the pronunciation of our names, and without him asking I sent him an audio where I said my name. After that, I suddenly felt comfortable to keep communicating like this and we did this for the next few days. Everyday he would teach me something about Kazakh and I would teach him English and this was a very fun way to learn. Eventually we ended up voice calling as well, since it would be easier that way. It was a bit awkward and funny at first because his English is still very beginners level, but we still managed to communicate very well. 

Fast forward (3 weeks later), since then we have been calling almost every day and when we don’t call, we text a lot. He just started working at a café right before we met and he has very long work hours (some days he needs to work 16 hours, wthhh). This should be illegal but I guess its normal in some countries. But even while he’s at work, he keeps sending me many texts or voice messages, teaching me something or just updating me about his life. He even sends me pics or videos of his work and I send him some of my uni. Also by now I know how he looks as well cause we decided to add each other on Instagram and I wish he wasn’t so handsome >.<

Now, when we are texting, we mostly text about normal things and daily life. We learn language mostly when we call. And our texts guys, at times we talk about some deep life stuff. Like he shared some personal info about things he struggles with and we give each other advice. Normally I would not feel comfortable talking about this stuff with someone I met online, but with him it all feels so natural and nice and I feel like I can understand him a lot and he me. Also personality and mindset wise, I never met anyone who is so similar to me. Like he told me he loves the rain and that he does this crazy thing of running around in the rain to calm his mind and playfully advised me to do it as well. As someone who loves rain a lot, I never met a guy who thought like this tooo.

Everyday he sends me “Good morning, have a good day at uni” when he wakes up (we have a 3 hour time difference) and every night we say “Sweet dreams”. Every time I get a notification from him I feel so excited and when we don’t text for a few hours, I keep thinking about when he will reply. Some days he finishes work at midnight (which is 21:00 my time) and we keep texting through his taxi ride home and when he arrives he asks me if we can call before he goes to sleep and we call for almost an hour, even though he has work the next morning. 

This is both a nice feeling and scary, because I feel like I shouldn’t be this attached to him but I just really love talking to him. Whether its about our lives or when we are learning languages, I like talking to him about anything. He is so kind and funny and wise and hardworking, and I shouldn’t feel this way, especially for someone I never met IRL and he probably doesn’t have any feelings for me anyway. He told me he doesn’t have many close friends so maybe that’s the reason he has time to talk to me so much.

We never talked in a flirtatious way btw. Sometimes he would compliment me and say things like “I like your kindness” or “You are so gentle or understanding” and send me this cute smile emoji 😊, or he would compliment the way I speak Kazakh and I try not to be so happy about it cause it obviously doesn’t mean anything. Or, the first time I saw what he looked like, I told him “Your voice fits your face, you look good”. In a friendly way (through text) cause what else am I supposed to say. Then he told me “Thank you, I like your natural beauty as well 😊” and idk what this means and he was obviously just being friendly but somehow I can’t forget these words. Last night, we talked for almost 3 hours on the phone and guys as an introvert who doesn’t like to talk long, I wish the call hadn’t ended (also it was like 2 AM his time). Anyway that made me realize something is wrong with me.

I just can't help wishing he lived closer...

Please give me advice and whether you experienced something similar. I never felt such a deep connection with anyone before, not even IRL. Why am I feeling this way? 

Do I have feelings for him? 

Is this possible while I never met him IRL? 

Can he have feelings for me too? 

Should I tell him that I feel this way?? Or will that ruin our friendship? 

And why does he need to live 6400kms away from me? :(

Thank you for reading this.

12 Comments
2024/09/10
02:03 UTC

4

Activity suggestions for long distance?

I need some suggestions for things you can do with your partner online as we cant really go out, we mostly play games, watch movies/shows or just talk, but itd be nice to have some more variety aswell

4 Comments
2024/09/08
21:22 UTC

21

I’m spending every waking moment with my LDR Girlfriend and I can feel myself getting more boring.

I’ve been dating this girl for about 7 months, and we’ve been in-person and LDR for a while now. The problem is that she’s a very jealous and anxious person with BPD, while she’s self aware of this, and lets me know sometimes how her brain’s working, attending to her every wish and desire is turning my brain to mush. For starters, I am monitored 24/7 (at least it feels that way). For example:

•	I take her with me in my headphones to class, and if she hears a girl so much as laugh in my direction she’s quick to call it out, resulting in people hearing this through my headphones and avoiding me because I essentially have a wiretap on myself at all times.
•	Hanging out with my friends irl and online is a chore too because I can’t even talk about what I want to talk about. My friends are very vulgar and like to make very polarizing remarks whether in jest or seriously. And sometimes even them talking about how hot a girl is will trigger her and she will DEMAND that I change the topic of conversation.
•	We do what she wants, plays what she wants, stop whenever she wants, and if I try to stand up for myself or suggest I want alone time, she’ll oblige, but not without making feel bad for “abandoning” her.

You would think that I would’ve broken up with her by now, but sometimes the love she gives me outweighs the bad times. And sometimes she recontextualizes all these things I’m complaining about as just wanting to spend all her time with me, and she apologizes for being suffocating. I don’t know what to do, am I being a dick? I’m essentially isolated from my friends and family, and this is causing rifts in multiple interpersonal relationships of mine. I feel crazy

16 Comments
2024/09/08
02:31 UTC

2

First Time

Hey everyone. I am so glad to find this subreddit. It is my first time chatting with someone online and could use some support and perspective. We live 8900 miles (14,000 kilometers) apart. I'm in San Antonio, TX. She's in Cape Town, South Africa. A few months ago, she watched a video of me preaching at a church in Louisiana. She also watched a video recording of me leading a Bible study. She knows a lot about me and we already know we have similar values.

A few weeks ago, her and her mom befriended me on Facebook. Her busy schedule makes it hard to chat every day. We at least send each other short videos and audio messages. She even asks questions about things that peak her interest. She also appreciates the Bible verses I send her.

Right now I am a bit unsure about when to confess my feelings to her.

5 Comments
2024/09/07
13:53 UTC

27

Face reveal gone wrong

I (22F) have been talking to this guy(24M)for about a week and i really liked him. We talked almost everyday and got really close. I havent felt this way in a long time. But he did a face reveal while on call and i went silent. I felt so bad because he wasnt ugly he just wasnt my type. I dont know what to do now. Should i date someone that i am not attracted to but love their personality?

24 Comments
2024/09/03
00:10 UTC

3

Not sure what to think

So I met this girl through some mutual friends in Discord playing Phas and we seemed to match each other's energy and I kept hoping to see her in the group again and I would go play games that I didn't even really want to so I could hang out with her. I added her on Snapchat after a group was made and we started talking directly and it felt to me like there was some pretty medium to heavy flirting going on.

She's got pretty dark humor just like me and isn't afraid to talk about all the shit she's into and I respect that so much. We have talked literally every day for like 10 days now from 5 AM to 10 PM. I asked my friends who knew us both and they seemed to think that we were both into each other. I'm so picky when it comes to girls because I know what I want and I refuse to settle for anything less than that. I'm a big shit talker and like to poke fun and mess with people and she's the first girl I've met that can match that and honestly do it better than me.

She likes to poke fun at me and call me old man and stuff even though our age diff is like 5 years and calls me dumb and stuff in a playful way. She lets me call her stupid little pet names and stuff and has even corrected my bb gorl to BABY GWORL many times and I've said it to her repeatedly and she didn't seem to hate it. We've talked at length about her funko pops and stuff. I think she's fairly introverted like me and doesn't go out much or anything so maybe she's not good at projecting her feelings, or maybe it's just me finally finding someone I'm interested in in such a way. She's always met my compliments with calling me gay or wrong or I'm dumb but when I playfully tell her to shut up she just sends me :) back which just makes me so confused.

We have got in private Discord calls and played DBD and stuff have played for hours so I know we vibe together and she seemed to be into me. Last night, I finally laid it on her and told her that I had a crush on her and all she said was "You've known me for two weeks lmao I'm just another lady on the internet. It'll pass." to which I replied "I don't think you're just some other person on the internet and I know very much what I like and that is you but I'm sorry for bothering you with that, I just thought something was there." and she replied with "You don't have anything to apologize for silly."

So I just kind of let it go and we still were chatting after that into today but I never got something definite like hey I'm just not into you and it's not going to happen. Something in me is just telling me that there is still something there but I just don't know if it's mixed signals or if its the stupid romantic in me. I don't want to stop talking to her because I truly enjoy our conversations but I'm pretty devastated right now and I just don't know what else to do. Should I ask her if there's literally any chance at all something could happen, or do I just let the relationship go and probably end up stop talking to her?

3 Comments
2024/09/02
20:09 UTC

5

Surprise visiting my (21F) long-distance boyfriend (25M) soon! What should I get him/surprise him with (besides myself)?

My LDR boyfriend and I have been together for almost 4 years, and have met in person multiple times. I'm planning a trip to visit my boyfriend soon, and it will be a surprise for him! I want to do something a little extra besides just showing up empty-handed, even though I know he will be beyond happy just to see me.

I'm unsure of his work schedule for the day I arrive, but if he has a shift I want to maybe set up some decorations/have a surprise waiting for him or something. Otherwise, if I get there and he's home, maybe just having some flowers or something silly.

I would love to hear any and all suggestions!! ❤️

8 Comments
2024/09/02
17:26 UTC

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