I’d been thinking about it for weeks, the words rolling around in my mind, heavy and uncomfortable. Breaking up with my boyfriend wasn’t something I’d imagined when we first got together. Back then, everything had felt light and easy—a whirlwind of laughter, late-night texts, and butterflies every time I saw his name on my phone. But now, things were different. I sat at my desk, staring at the wall as I replayed our most recent argument in my mind. It had been about something trivial—as always. He’d forgotten to call when he said he would, and I’d snapped, tired of feeling like I was putting in all the effort. He’d apologized, of course, but his words felt hollow, like an old record we’d played too many times before. I’d tried to shake off the doubt, tried to convince myself that every relationship had its rough patches. But deep down, I knew this wasn’t just a rough patch. It was a pattern, a slow unraveling of what we once had. Liam wasn’t a bad person. He was sweet and funny, and he cared about me in his own way. But something had shifted between us, and I couldn’t ignore the growing distance. It wasn’t just the arguments or the missed calls. It was the way I felt around him—like I was holding my breath, waiting for something to change, even though I knew it wouldn’t. I thought about all the moments that should have made me happy but didn’t. The movie nights where we sat in silence, the dinners where our conversations felt forced, the way his kisses no longer sent a thrill through me. It wasn’t his fault, not really. But it wasn’t mine, either. Sometimes, people just grow apart. The decision crystallized one afternoon as I sat alone in a coffee shop, watching couples laugh and share secret smiles. I wanted that—that connection, that spark. And as much as it hurt to admit, I didn’t have it with my boyfriend anymore. I picked up my phone and opened our text thread, my fingers hovering over the keyboard. How do you tell someone you’re breaking their heart? How do you end something that once meant everything? My chest tightened at the thought of his reaction—the hurt in his eyes, the questions I wouldn’t be able to answer. But I couldn’t keep pretending. Later that evening, I asked him to meet me at the park. It was our favorite spot, a place filled with memories of happier times. As I waited on the bench, I rehearsed what I would say, my heart pounding with anxiety. When he arrived, smiling as he approached, I felt a pang of guilt. But I knew what I had to do. “Hey, babe,” I began, my voice trembling. “We need to talk.” He sat down beside me, his expression shifting to concern. “What’s wrong?” I took a deep breath, forcing myself to meet his gaze. “I care about you so much, but… I don’t think this is working anymore. I’ve been feeling it for a while, and it’s not fair to either of us to keep pretending everything is fine.” The words spilled out, raw and painful, but they were the truth. His face fell, and I saw the hurt I’d been dreading. “Are you sure?” he asked quietly. I nodded, tears stinging my eyes. “I’m so sorry, babe. I wish things were different, but I think this is what’s best for both of us.” We talked for a while after that, both of us trying to make sense of the ending. It wasn’t easy, and it wasn’t without pain. But as I walked away from the park that night, I felt a strange mix of sadness and relief. Breaking up with my boyfriend was one of the hardest things I’d ever done, but in my heart, I knew it was the right choice.

The worst part is when that one girl is constantly in your head. You can't even look at other girls because you know they don't compare to her. She's so perfect. Her eyes, hair, height, breasts, ass everything is perfect. And you know nothing will come of it. You see her and suffer... you can't even smile.

I figured out she was back on dating apps the day after the breakup so I kind of knew it was coming. Having said that, this is one of the most painful things a man can ever experience without feeling actual physical pain. I have feelings of confusion, sadness and anger inside of me. This is a person who told me as recently as 6 weeks ago that she loved me and wanted to marry me and that I was the love of her life. She introduced me to her family and people she grew up with. I was planning on building a life with her. It makes me wonder if it even was real to begin with. I still have the happy memories which makes it hurt even worse. She left me for what seems like a very small reason because I didn’t do anything wrong and everyone I’ve told the situation to has said I didn’t do anything wrong. I hate having a big heart sometimes, I wish I could be as cruel as her. Then it wouldn’t hurt as bad. But that’s not who I am.

It’s been almost a year since we broke up, but fully stopped talking late June… I still think about her almost everyday, to the point where I did meet someone new, however I wasn’t fully healed and I would compare events and some traits to her and that ended after a couple months… how do you really heal and let go? I still have everything she gave me from the relationship and have a hard time throwing it away still.

I don’t know if I even like guys or just lust after the same type. I can “like” a guy, but I always want the guy who treats me like shit and obviously doesn’t want me and I know. It’s lust. Why do I always want lust at the end of the day? Even tho I have a man that’s perfect?

Join me!

r/nojidgevent

Copy and paste to find.

No judging venting. Or if you wanna privately vent/talk, message me! About anything!

You delete me? What did I do?

As someone who lives in a foreign country alone as a working adult, how do you guys manage heart break. It's so painful I wish I could remove my heart from my body to keep my pain away. But can't.

I guess I don't need an answer anyway. It's not new to me and idk why I even posted this. Just wanted to get this off my chest I guess. Whoever read this, Have a good day.

Ex of 2+ YEARS is already seeing someone new LESS THAN 2 MONTHS AFTER?

broke up with him in October (because he was cheating amongst other horrible things). We would have been three years in November. I noticed he was talking to someone new (due to his reposts) around late November. I kinda confirmed yesterday it was someone I had suspicions about AND found out he had a secret account he didn’t follow me on. He’s had it since 2019…

Anyways, I’m just so heartbroken. I know he’s a POS for cheating on me— especially with trans women and other men on Grindr and gay Reddit pages where u can hook up with other gay/bi/curious men… And he wasn’t the best… but I know I wasn’t either… I wasn’t an angel… but I didn’t deserve that.

How could he already be talking to someone new?? Someone from his past actually. The girl he was talking right before getting with me actually. I feel useless. Worthless. I feel like he was only with me because I was the only option or person showing interest at the time.. Were the last 3 years NOTHING to him? I feel so devastated and broken. It makes me hate my skin and body, it makes me sick to think I gave so much of myself to this man only to be thrown out like this. He was my baby, I was HIS “baby.” He said he would always love me, and it hurts to know I was the only one who meant it I guess. I really loved him. I’ve already cried so much idk how I have this much tears in me left. This sucks.

I’m hurting so bad. How do you make it stop?

I found out that my boyfriend of over a year groped my friend. I am so heartbroken. The crazy thing is I’ve only had two boyfriends, but this is the second time this has happened to me. My first boyfriend, who I was with for over 3 years, also sexually assaulted one of my best friends at the time. What’s even more disgusting is that both times this has happened, I have been sleeping in the same bed. I’m just so sad. I told my boyfriend when we first started dating about what my ex did and how much the trust issues and guilt affect me to this day, and then he goes and does almost the exact same thing. I really thought he was different.

I just don’t understand how something like this could happen to me twice in a row? I’m only 21 but I don’t know how I’m ever supposed to trust someone again. I also just feel so guilty for being part of the reason my friend is in this situation and I feel like a piece of shit for being so upset when my friend just went through something even worse. The worst part is, I’m still finding it so hard to break up with him even though I know what he did was unforgivable. I tried to end things once already but I gave in. It doesn’t help that most of my current friends I met through him, so I’ll be losing a lot of my friends too. You’d think after going through this situation once already I’d be better at handling it the second time but it hurts just as much. I should hate him for this, and part of me does, but part of me still cares about him. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I have never heard of anybody else going through something like this and I feel so alone.

I talked to someone for almost a year, and we shared many good moments together. She supported me and always provided the best solutions when I faced any problems. She felt like my safe zone, and meeting her made the world seem more meaningful. We chatted and talked every day, but she never committed to a relationship, saying she needed to focus on her studies.

One day, I noticed she started to change and didn’t seem to care for me the same way. I felt hurt and brought it up with her. She told me she didn’t want to talk to me anymore and didn’t have time to focus on love. Even though she wasn’t officially my girlfriend, I felt heartbroken.

A month after we stopped talking, I found out she had a new boyfriend. That hurt even more. What made it worse was that during our time together, she never acknowledged me on social media, but with him, she openly showed their relationship. Even now, I still miss her even her didn't love me....

I know that I need comeback to love myself but I'm very sad and this is the first time that I feel hurt my heart and I love she the most....

It feels so wrong to even be asking for help but I (F17) genuinely don’t know what to do. I was in a relationship for a year, that was also my first relationship. I broke up with him because I found out that he was emotionally cheating on me. Overall our relationship wasn’t great, most of the problems were related to money because he doesn’t have a job and I do. He also wasn’t good with showing love. After we broke up I very quickly moved on and my new boyfriend literally does everything for me and more. He’s so perfect and I couldn’t ask for anyone better. They are completely different personality wise. My first boyfriend was a sweetheart who came from a really stable family who is very supportive and caring, he would do anything to make EVERYONE around him happy and safe. He was also the very gentle and sweet loving type who would text me very often to check on me and make sure I was happy. My new boyfriend cares a lot about me, but he doesn’t care abt himself, he also has a lot of family issues and sadly he isn’t exactly the type of person I ever thought I’d date, none of my friends like him because of his attitude and personality although after getting to know him I know that he’s just very hurt. I’m scared because I can’t stop thinking about my ex and I’m worried that I may still have feelings for him even though he was an asshole. He’s honestly a great and funny friend and I really miss our friendship. I also miss how he was willing to build a future and a family with me, and how he would always open every door for me. We’re all still in high school so I’m also scared of unnecessary drama.

I met this guy around 1.5 years ago and we got into a relationship. I'm a very passionate atheist and he's a very passionate Christian. At first I was under the impression that he'd be more open to exploring and philosophical questioning, and he was under the impression that I am more open towards spirituality and religion ( Both our faults, we didn't make it clear at first) .. then soon enough after going with him to church and listening to him talking about Jesus, without complaining and with a genuine interest, I asked him how he does feel about me not being religious. He explained how that is a problem for him and it is very difficult for him to accept that. He mentioned how it would create a broken family and it would work out badly for the kids if we were to have any. I was broken hearted. I knew he loved me but I also knew that part of his belief system prevents him from accepting me in a true sense. This went on for months, we didn't breakup. It would come up every week and every week there'd be a very painful fight. We'd be crying and unsure what to do. We had strong feelings for each but he also knew that he couldn't accept me and I knew that he couldn't as well. anyway, this dragged for like 4 - 5 months and then we spoke.. He asked me to convert to Christianity and I told him I couldn't do this. I told him that if we were to carry on with this relationship we would end up resenting each other because we would have to give up on a very integral part of our charactersA few days back he called me and asked if hypothetically he would accept me would I get back together with him. I don't think that would work so I told him no. He is completely heartbroken and I feel for him. He's an amazing guy and I truly want the best for him. I don't think that I am the one for him because he wants to practice religion with his partner and I cannot provide that for him. Anyway.. He is suffering and I feel like shit for causing him so much pain and I don't know what to do ??

Hopefully she doesn't find this post. If she does, and it's her thats reading this, I'm sorry - I didn't mean to air our dirty laundry on the internet, I'm just legitimately lost what to do without you. Please don't think I'm weird or hate me, I'm sorry.

A little over a year ago, I (now 17m, then 15m) met this girl (lets call her A). online (16f, now 17f, few months older than me). It was part of an online community that was relevant to our geographic region (we live somewhat near each other), and I was just talking there to have some fun and make some friends. At the time, I was talking to another girl, and A was single for several months.

Things were purely casual for a few weeks to a handful of months, I was ecstatic that I was going on a date with the girl I was talking to at the time, and I assumed we were just platonic friends. Unbenownst to me, A had developed a crush on me, but didn't show it at all. We stayed friends, talking everyday, but didn't overstep any boundaries.

Things developed when the girl I went on a date with decided to break it off with me after our first date. Saying the break was messy was a complete understatement. She asked to stay friends, I agreed, but little things like letting her friends message mean jokes to me while on her phone piled up over time, and I finally just blocked her a few weeks later. While I was going through this, I did temporarily stop talking to A - I don't really know why I did it, I think I just needed to hole up with my real-life friends and process this.

Something to keep in mind is that I had legitimately 0 relationship experience. The girl I went out with was the first person I had ever been romantically talking to, my first date, first person I legitimately flirted with, etc. I didn't really know I was doing. A is more experienced, but from what I understand none of them before me were particularly healthy.

I started talking back to A again as friends after coming to terms with myself, told her a little about it, but nothing much. Here's where I started doing stuff I'm immensely not proud of.

After about a month or so, I started flirting with A. There was honestly no emotion on my end - I was just lonely and she was really the only girl in my life. I assumed this was just a haha-funny joke, we can both laugh it off or keep it going as a comedic bit type of thing. But, she already had feelings for me, and started falling deeper and deeper in (i don't know if love is the word but I'm going to use it) love.

I think the reason I never took it seriously at first is because I had never been a proponent of online dating, and I thought certain things about A were kind of weird at the time (now I find them very attractive and endearing, but it's been a while). I treated her as someone beyond the screen rather than a person, just a few miles away, with legitimate feelings.

I was treating it as completely casual, and she was taking it completely serious - and we really never seriously talked about the disconnect. I went on with life as usual, making stupid insensitive comments in groupchats A was in with my friends about how my type was 100% asian girls (I am asian, A is not asian) or how I thought a certain girl in my class was attractive and how I was debating sliding into her dms. To be clear, I never legitimately entertained another girl from the time I met A to when I'm writing this. I was legitimately being completely brainless, not realizing that these stupid jokes to my friends that got a laugh or two were making A cry and feel worthless.

A and I talked about these comments occasionally, and I was insanely dismissive. I didn't genuinely believe A was in love with me - as a conventionally unnattractive and frankly lonely teenage guy, I thought she was legitimately playing some elaborate prank on me. It would have taken one intelligent and retrospective afternoon with myself to realize that this girl genuinely loved me and I should stop playing with her feelings - but I never wisened up. I continued flirting with her, escalating more and more as the months went on.

But I never changed my insensitive ways. I continued to make comments about other women, whenever A asked what we are I said I just wanted to feel things out / wait and see, I blocked her for a month or two at a time whenever I was feeling mildly annoyed. I genuinely, in hindsight, treated this girl like shit. I would be there for her when she was depressed or sad sure - but I also made her depressed and sad by blowing her off and perennially reinforcing how little I saw of our "situationship".

Then, the beginning of summer came. A sternly brought up one night what we were, and, at this point I legitimately didn't know. I wasn't sure whether I wanted to commit or not, I wasn't even sure how much I still liked A. We had only met up once or twice for very sparing moments, and I had ended those pretty quickly due to a mix of anxiety / being insensitive / not being able to loiter to parents.

I told her I didn't know what I wanted, that I wanted her in my life in some capacity (i.e friends or relationship or whatever) but I couldn't tell her at that moment what it is I wanted between us. I kind of just wanted to stay in that weird situationship limbo for a while. At this point I did honestly care about her, but I didn't really know how much.

Then A went away for nearly the entire summer. She was at some residential program, living with other kids, being worked to the bone for 16 hours a day (and therefore, not having a lot of time to talk to me). It was here I started to catch myself falling more and more for her - I realized what I had as I was losing it.

But, I got selfish. I didn't realize the immense pressure she was under, and expected the same conversations we once had. Couple this with general teenage stupidity (making comments about how much I wanted to go out of state for college, away from the college she really wanted to go to, not planning a future w her in mind despite joking about it etc) and our relationship was under a ton of stress. Even when she came back, it was never the same.

As school started, we kind of found ourself falling back into our normal limbo, flirting, making jokes, but again still no label or anything serious. I was falling more and more for this girl, but I didn't show it. At the same time, she was pulling away. It had been a year at this point, I didn't commit, she rightfully assumed it would go nowhere.

I have commitment issues. The parent I was closest to passed away when I was in the single-digit age range, my best friend at the time had been annoyed by an insensitive joke I made and was ghosting me, I had no friends, and I was really scared that anyone I would commit too would leave me. It's not the only reason I didn't commit, but it definitely made it hard to show her my feelings.

Then, about 2 months ago from today, she wanted to end it. She went away for a weekend to another residential thing, met a boy there. She fell for him after a day or so, they held hands, were around each other, etc. She felt it wasn't going to go anywhere with me and it wouldn't be fair to maintain this relationship with me.

I... completely freaked out. I couldn't eat, was blowing up her phone, and it was here I finally mustered up the words to tell her I love her. I got manipulative, talked about potentially committing suicide, got extremely depressed, and kept texting her how much I loved her and how could she do this. We weren't even exclusive at this point - I believe she asked during summer while she was away and I kind of brushed it off and wanted to go on some dates first. I really don't know where any of this came from, but I couldn't handle her leaving.

Here's where everything changed. She was upset with the way I reacted (very very VERY rightfully so), but understanding the way I felt about her, was willing to work towards a proper relationship with me. I would have made it exclusive / boyfriend-girlfriend off the bat (which she had been asking for the longest time), but she wanted to ease into it.

For the next 6 weeks, it was what I could only describe as the most loving yet toxic weeks of our relationship. We were conjoined at the hip, facetiming every single minute of every hour of every day, telling each other how much we loved each other, sending the other memes about cats captioned "us!!!". I genuinely could not fathom why I ever blew this girl off, as at this point, I was in love with her more than I've ever loved anyone else. I got withdrawals when she would hang up for an hour or two to do some real-life stuff. I kept trying to make date plans, which she couldn't go to due to some real life complications.

However, our individual flaws were beginning to show. I'm insecure as fuck, and it really started shining through - I got jealous of her male friends easily when she told me about the things she did with them. Whenever she mentioned an issue she had in the relationship, I took it as a personal attack on me, like she had an issue with me - and became really short and snappy and argumentative. She couldn't communicate anymore, it was emotionally draining to talk to me about anything serious. And the last thing, whenever she tried to pull away or break us off, I started clinging on more and more and more. This is something we were both guilty of - we were both guilty of kind of trying to beg the other person to take us back when they tried to take a step back.

I think her biggest problem was communication, she's never been great at confrontation. She was better at communicating her feelings months prior (when I was still, in all honestly, treating her like shit). But it got to the point where, whenever I brought up anything, she would just kind of shut down, say "okay i don't know what to say i'm sorry", and hang up for the night. Sometimes, she just ignored it whenever I said something she did hurt me. Additionally, sometimes she started snapping or getting angry pretty easily.

I'm not trying to pin blame on any one individual here, I'm just trying to show that we were both broken people.

Then, we went on our first date. She asked me out, I jumped at the opportunity. It was ridiculously short, I commuted to her school after her classes ended, we got boba together, then she had to leave to go back home to her family. She asked me to ride the train back with her, and I did. I had to take an hours worth of train rides and walk 2 hours back home, but to me, it was so worth it. I got to see her for the first time in the better part of a year.

Before the date, I had approached her with the intention of having some kind of intimacy (hand holding / kissing). She told me she was fine with it and wanted to do it on our date. And, we did. We hugged when we first saw each other, I kissed the top of her head. Throughout the date I kept asking whether she was okay to kiss or hold hands or whatever. She said like "Sure, but at the end, I don't really want to do it now".

End of the date comes, and I ask her again. She's fine kissing, but doesn't want to hold hands. So, we kiss. A few times. It was my first kiss ever, and I genuinely was on top of the world. We hugged as we left, and that was it.

A few days later she wants to break up. I was blindsided - I knew we had issues, but I felt like we could work through them. Here's where I pulled that bullshit cling-on-even-harder thing. I asked her to sleep on it, she said OKAY, but we stayed on facetime that night and fell back into that "i love you so much we should spend our futures together talk". Sunday she completely ignored my messages until afternoon, where she firmly broke up with me again. She said she couldn't do this (not citing a specific reason other than she thinks we wouldn't work out), and didn't like how I was trying to manipulate her to take me back. She said she didn't want to be friends and wanted to go no contact, and I finally respected her wishes and said okay.

I didn't remove her on anything because it was too painful.

I realized that I had legitimate issues I need to address. I confided and broke down to my asian mother (something that was genuinely hard as fuck) about our relationship, and enrolled myself in therapy. I started talking to my friends about my problems, opening up more, and living generally healthier. I've lost a few pounds already lol.

In the next few days after that, everything got super messy. She said she wanted to go no contact but was liking a bunch of my social media stories, slid up on them with messages a few times, only to burn the conversation into the ground pretty quickly. A few days after, I got upset. I felt kind of breadcrumbed in a way, like I was being told we couldn't be friends but she was acting like nothing went wrong.

I pressed the issue, and bombarded her with a bunch of questions about what we were, how she felt, etc. She didn't really respond, just "i don't know" to everything, and I kind of dropped it.

A day later, I caved. I broke no contact and texted her. She was doing work and just facetimed me instead, and we were casually on facetime like old friends for 20-ish minutes, but then when I asked her about trying again, she flat out said no. She repeated she did not want a relationship with me, did not want to be friends, and just wanted to move on.

In the coming days, she continued to like my stories, respond to them, and send me reels. I was kind of letting it be, taking my time to heal before addressing it again.

Then, today (10 ish days after we first broke up), I checked her following and saw that she had started following a bunch of accounts related to the dude she had that initial thing with, the dude she was going to start dating had I not confessed my love.

I genuinely exploded. I felt like I was being breadcrumbed and borderline manipulated all while she had gone back and resumed talking to the guy she told me not to worry about. I called her and exploded. I wanted some answers.

I wanted to know what was going on between us, whether she was really talking with him again, when it started, whether she wanted to be friends or try again, why she broke up with me.

The answers I got made everything make sense. She told me she had mentally gotten over me during summer, and had completely emotionally detached in our relationship (which explains why she just stopped properly communicating when I brought up issues I had). She told me that the guy had messaged her out of the blue a few days ago, and they had gone back to talking. She says it's casual right now but I can assume where it's going to go.

What I thought was the most questionable was the part about being over me for months. I was a little confused on how she was able to break up and walk away so easily, but she basically told me she had been over me for several months. In the time where we were "in love", she had basically not been at all attached, but still continued to tell me she loved me and called me because she missed me and acted like nothing was wrong. It made me feel like everything we had was a lie - she might have loved me, but she wasn't emotionally invested.

Then, I finally asked her the final incident that made her break up with me. She told me it was related to our date - the one I thought went well. She said that, while she wanted to be intimate with me beforehand, when she actually showed up, she realized she didn't want to touch me at all. But she felt afraid that I would get angry if she said no (even though she admits I haven't done anything to make her feel that way). She felt that, if she was afraid to be herself in a relationship, it wasn't going to work out, and ended it with me.

I got.... so angry. It felt like all of our issues could have just been solved if she communicated properly with me instead of shutting down whenever I asked her anything. Additionally, I felt manipulated, I had been head over heels in love with this girl for weeks and she had already been over me.

When I brung up how I had been strung along for 2 months, she told me that I had strung her along for a year. I admit I treated her like a fucking dick, but I wouldn't compare the two - one was us casually flirting and me kind of indicating I didn't want a relationship, and the other one was us telling each other how much we loved each other and wanted to marry each other and get a house and kids and cats.

When I asked why she kept interacting with me on instagram, she said it was just a force of habit, she burned the convos into the ground quickly b/c she didn't actually want to talk.

I got super angry, especially the fact that she was talking to this guy again. She had refused over and over and over to block him, saying they had no relationship - and now they had rekindled. A kind of shouting match of sorts ensued, she said I had no right to police who she could talk to given we're over, I just said I thought it was a backstab to tell me there's nothing going on and then immediately start talking to him again. We hung up on horrible terms, I realized that I just needed to move on (because she had already done so) and kind of removed her on every single platform. I didn't block her number, but I got rid of the like contact photo and all. We told each other we both didn't love each other or want a relationship anymore, didn't wanna be friends, just part ways.

Afterwards, I sent her a text that read "I'm sorry for hurting you but you've hurt me as much. I hope finals and [college decisions] goes well, have a good one". She didn't respond, very obviously.

And now.... I don't know what to do. I feel like there's a hole in my life and a hole in my chest, I can't eat, sleep, function properly without thinking of her. I viewed her as one of my closest friends, and I genuinely miss our connection. But... she's gone. She doesn't want anything to do with me again - I hurt her and she moved on. She did hurt me afterwards, but honestly, at this point, I would still overlook that.

But it's over. She's talking to another guy and will likely start a relationship with him, and she's made it clear she doesn't want me in her life anymore. But man. This is so hard on me - I genuinely miss her so much and see her in literally everything. All I want to do is text her one more time, telling her I'm sorry for getting angry at her today, begging her to just be friends - but it's not what she wants and that would be throwing away all of my self respect.

My friends all tell me to not go back, that her stringing me along while being detached was cruel and I should just find another girl. And part of me acknowledges it was fucked up to do. The other part of me still loves her, and says that it's all my fault for blowing her off at first, and that I ruined a perfect relationship with a perfect girl. I feel like I won't ever find anybody better than her, and I'm just depressed I lost her.

I genuinely don't know what to do at this point. I know I should go into no contact and just stop interacting with her, heal, move on, and put her out of my life. But part of me wants to, the second I get better through therapy and other shit, just reach back out to her - ask her to be friends, ask her to try again, beg her and tell her I've changed.

And I don't really understand the depth to which this relationship was at jeopardy due to me, I feel like it's 100% my fault, my friends tell me it was mostly hers at the end. If anyone actually sat through this deranged rant, props to you.

I'm just looking for some advice to kind of get through this, what to do next with her, and how to go about living my life knowing the woman I saw forever in and was my best friend will probably never be there again for me anymore.

I learned something clarifying after I lost the love of my life.

It's NOT the ex post facto thinking that they weren't it after all. "If it didn't work, it wasn't meant to be." What a stupid backboneless kind of thinking.

It's the freedom of knowing where the love of your life is. The search is over, with a bad ending. But you still live, so the epilogue begins.

Now comes the self improvement arc. Whatever that was deficient that caused your heartbreak, fix it. Whatever dream or passion you have for yourself, follow it. You have nothing else to lose. You're free.

The letter I wrote to myself after my fiancé broke up with me because she felt like emotionally unstable to be able to love me and literally ghosted me the second after. I felt like sharing.
Somehow, subconsciously, I wrote in a style where it seems like my mind ist talking some sense into its self. I dont know. maybe some of yo can relate.
every now and then, when I feel like slipping away in some lonely place again, I come back to my letter, to remind myself that I am worthy of someone who sees my worth, and that everything that happened was suppose to happen.

so it goes:

If she can’t love you right now,

Let that be okay,

Take this time, and restart learning to love yourself; 

You know,

just…

Just heal my friend, heal 

and breathe;

Breathe out all that hurts, and replace every breath out with a fresh breath in, 

make the page empty, close the chapter;

Reread it, if wanted or needed,

And look back on the pages with nostalgia and all the feelings you want to feel;

But keep in mind that all that happened? 

Yeah, it happend,  so what? It just fucking happened; 

and to be honest?

its good that it happened; it is so damn good, boy you don’t even see it yet.

It will make you realize so much more, once the excruciating pain of heartbreak lays off, what lies ahead;

And The fog that obstructs the mind? 

That will clear up to;

And its okay to be lost in some fog right now, its okay to feel so much that its almost to much to handle, its okay to…

To just feel!

You will, one day, see it all ahead, believe me!

And you will learn from it, you will heal from it, you will grow from it!

And remember,

Her incapibility to love you for being you?

Oh man, that must hurt doesn’t it!? But damn that has nothing to do with your worth man!

if she creates some weird, distorted version of who you really are in her mind?

Hey, thats on her;

Its on her not seeing you for who you are;

It is on her loving something that you are not! 

Loving another version of you that you don’t even know you would wanna be? That too, is on her!

It’s on her not seeing your worth and what you actually are.

You tried your best to change man, don’t be hard on yourself; 

Dont let any of this determine your worth!

She is gonna realize what she lost,

And hey, you know what?

even if she doesn’t, what does it even matter??

What does it matter if there is any thought of you on her mind?

What does it mater if she sees what she lost or not?

It doesn’t! It just fucking doesn’t matter. 

You know what she lost, you know what you lost;

You will learn from it, heal from it;

If she does the same or not isn’t any of your concerns anymore man,

This time, yeah, this times its all about you.

And fuck man,

Look at you, going all strong through this, allowing feelings to exist. Nobody will ever take this growth and strength away from you;

Nobody, and repeat this after me, no fucking body will ever determine your worth except of you! You are what makes you, you learn to love yourself and nobody will ever hurt you as much anymore; 

Nobody will ever be able to change your core anymore, because it is what makes you you! 

Man, let them figure out what you already know!

And yes,

You lost yourself a bit in this love, and that is fine, hell it more then fine, its just awesome, its perfect;

It makes the eye opening realizations so so much more beautiful and worthwhile;

You were lost, but will find so much more than before!

So if she wasn’t able to love You right now,

Thats okay,

This time Is for you to love your self,

Just heal, 

Breathe in and out,

Close this chapter, 

Get that blank page out,

And just start writing man;

Your new chapter, without them ever able to rewrite it, starts now.

Hi there, I'm so overwhelmed that I need to vent and hope to get some advice. I'm a 33f, moved to the Netherlands 8 years ago (for a job and a relationship). The last couple of days my husband and I had conversations about our relationship, it's not really working anymore. This evening we decided to break up. We have bought a house 2 years ago, moved in a year ago.

I guess its understandable and normal that I'm just totally shocked, freigthened, scared and what not at the moment..

I have a quite good full time job in IT and doing an MSc in my free time.

The biggest problem is that I have just not been able to make real friends here. All the people I regularly talk with are either his friends or family or my colleagues, neighbours etc. I come from a very abusive family so I cut my whole family off. My friends from home are not really friends anymore, our friendships vanished after I moved abroad.

So now I'm just so afraid. I can't sleep right now, I feel so overwhelmed and anxious about how i will survive this and what will I have to do after we separate. Also, I know it'll not be quick, we have to sell the house, find a new place to live and decide who will take our dog...and all the other administrative stuff.

It feels like a mental breakdown, I am and always have been such a people pleaser that I still don't know how to love myself. And maybe thats the reason that I literally dont have anyone here. I even speak very good Dutch but I still couldn't make lasting freidnships here. I'm so hopeless it'll even happen.

Any advice please? Thanks in advance!

He’s only been looking at my messages Telling me I’m talking to myself Tells me I can’t send 10 single messages but also says I can’t send paragraphs what am I supposed to do!? Like at this point idk if I even wanna talk you anymore. I can’t keep doing this and holding on in hopes ur interested anymore!? I hate you j! You suck asshole! Can’t even have a decent conversation with you!!?

I’ve been crying all day. Part of me thought maybe he would text me. Maybe he would unblock me and we could at least be friends again, like he promised we always would be. But that fantasy was obviously never going to happen. I’m all alone. I lost my best friend of over ten years because I thought she was treating him unfairly. I lost who I thought I was. I’m about to lose my job. My health has rapidly declined. I’m so tired of being a burden, I will not make my family care for me again. I’m so tired.

I was ghosted.

He didn't want to be in a relationship but he didn't like that I talked to others . He's ghosted me. That's obviously a sign he didn't like me that much . I miss him though . He checked so many boxes and opened up another side of me. I havnt genuinely liked someone in a long time and I was damn near obsessed with him.
I feel ridiculous because it was only 5 months but the BEST 5 months I've ever had. This shit hurts 💔 sending my love to everyone going through it . Corny as it sounds it does get better.

I ended my last long term relationship of 3.5years as the pot calling the kettle black. I was not in a healthy relationship with myself during this one. Our relationship started right before Covid. As our relationship continued I began to put more pressure on my partner to validate me, and help me feel secure in myself. I didn't think I was okay being in such a transitionary state in my life, still learning who I was and what I wanted to do for a career. I wasn't aware at the time, but I didn't think I was worthy of someone who had more of their life together and a stronger sense of self. They were nothing but a supportive partner, after a while, anyone would fold under the pressure.

I was raised to look externally before allowing myself peace. I pointed the finger in his direction, he wasn't interested enough in me, he wasn't interested in physical intimacy enough, drank too much, wasn't perfect, wasn't enough. There was a suffering inside me I hadn't reckoned with from childhood. I wanted someone to see me, to love me, to tell me I was okay just where I was at. Even receiving so much reassurance, I was lost and unsatisfied with myself, how uncertain I was about things, and how fearful I was of the future.

I was the one afraid to be myself after a while. I said the intimacy scared him, but it scared me just as much. I was not good at trusting things were okay, my body had held onto unprocessed emotions from years prior and only felt safe to release in the arms of a lover. This became too much as I didn't have a therapist or support from family/friends. My emotions felt too burdensome to face alone and yet I didn't see how heavy of a load that was for a partner.

I blindsided and ended things with him, afraid he would never be as interested in knowing who I was as I needed. The truth was I didn't know how to ask for my needs and was unaware of what was reasonable and unreasonable to expect from a partner. I didn't know how to sit with my own emotions and self regulate. I thought my suffering had to be shared. Going through the depth of pain and fear I had needed support, and that was placed on the shoulders of someone I Loved and admired dearly.

I didn't need to have it all together. I didn't need to have all the answers and still don't. I needed to have tenderness, patience, and openness for myself while loving this person. I wouldn't have gotten here and done the work I have done so far without ending the relationship. I wouldn't have been aware of how closed off I was from myself and my partner had I stayed.

Knowing this, I feel horrible that I ended things with someone I loved so much. I regretted ending things and was at his door 6hrs later. He chose to maintain that things were done, and stopped messaging me a few weeks later. I gave him our cat in the split who was my emotional support animal. They had a routine together and I loved this man. I didn't know I wouldn't get to see either of them again.

All that said above, you can guess how I responded to the relationship staying done. I dropped things of his off at his house, texted him, and begged to see our cat one more time to say goodbye. I wanted to talk to him so badly and take accountability for my part. I wanted to try again so badly that I didn't understand the kind of pain he must have been going through. I didn't give him the space he needed and ended up putting the nail in the coffin threatening to call animal control because the cat was still in my name and I wanted to say goodbye. Not my finest moment. What better way to show love than to selfishly demand an audience with the person you broke up with amiright?

I was blocked. I tried to be a good partner and focused on them so much that I ended up leaving little left for them to connect to. I did so many things I thought he wanted me to do out of anxiety rather than asking what makes him feel loved.

He had his flaws, and made his mistakes like we all do. Neither of us were abusive, just misunderstood and unskilled at communicating our needs and feelings. I have since become better friends with myself, am learning how to emotionally regulate, and show up for myself.

I still miss him terribly. I wish I knew then what I know now. Being blocked means I cannot tell him any of this and to be fair~ I don't blame him for choosing peace. Why would he trust me to care about his feelings if I couldn't even manage to leave him alone when he asked. I am ashamed and embarrassed at myself for my behavior after the breakup. I am still grieving this loss. I wanted to spend my life with him. I lost my spark and deeply hurt my lover in the process. I am very sad that I never got the chance to show him with my actions how much I have changed. He is a wonderful person who deserves someone that knows how to chill haha.

Even if he chose to never see me again, I want him to know from the bottom of my heart that I am sorry. I don't want him to be another lesson.

Heartbreak lately Disappointment Feeling abandoned Bouncing back even if it was too soon The stars never seem to align Either too good to be true or just true Heartache fades but dulls the senses with it I have seen the patterns...even if I have lost the will to be open... Things come around Sometimes in the form we never would expect Fight to not have apathy and miss the chance Maybe the stars will align Collide to be one for eternity

My ex blindsided me 3 months ago. We were together 2 years and planned to marry next year.

I recently found out that her rebound dumped her, and she has been acting super depressed over it saying that she thought he was the one and shit like that.

REALLY? FUCKING REALLY? You were going to marry me! Then you drop me like nothing, find some scumbag who breaks your heart, and you're fucked up over a dude you were dating 2 months?

WTF is this world that we live in. Like really it doesn't make any sense. I'm still destroyed over her, and she's already going through new heartbreak? Who the fuck is this woman?

Im in confusion, and going through something very difficult. im not sure what to do. is there anyone open to talking?

Hi everyone, I hope you had a good day… I know this topic is probably annoying to some, and I feel like a broken record asking people about it but, I feel so lost and alone.

I guess I should give some context. I (21F) and N (23M) have been seeing each other for 333 days… almost a full year. At the beginning, it was great. We were hanging out a lot, talking, hooking up, it felt just like a relationship… but we weren’t exactly committed to each other at that point because the timing wasn’t right, but we still talked a lot and got to know each other very well.

Come September 2024 and we decided we were gonna commit. It was going good… although there was some moments where I noticed he wasn’t communicating as much and would go radio silent but, we are both in uni and I figured he was busy.

November comes along and we are on cloud nine… until two weeks ago. November 22nd was the last time I saw him in person. We were hanging out as usual and he left to go do some work which was fine with me… nothing felt remotely off. Except after that day? He went so quiet. We would go from nonstop talking to, only really a good morning to each other and that was it. I should’ve known something was up, I should’ve trusted my gut but I didn’t, I let it slide. I tried a few times to hangout and schedule plans but he’d either leave me on read or not open the messages at all. Last week, December 5th I went out to the bar with some friends. While I was there I noticed N, who was giving me some stares which I thought was odd. I went to go grab a water and I look to my left and see N with another girl who we will call L… I thought it was kinda weird… maybe they’re just friends right? I try to go up to N and make conversation but he (I kid you not) shoves me to the side and walks over to L, and starts dancing with her. I tried messaging him afterwards asking about it but, no reply.

On December 7th 4 days ago I was with a classmate called C. C and I were just chatting and studying for our upcoming exam and he mentioned how one of his friends recently found a new girl and is very happy. I say “Oh! That’s great! I’m happy for them!” And C says “Yeah, N is so happy with her”

Apparently, C and N are really good friends and I just didn’t know. C ends up telling me everything about N and basically sums up the last two weeks. N met L at the bar about 2-3 weeks ago, and he’s apparently been in love since… so much so that she’s already met his parents and he’s planning on moving in with her. Apparently, N has been saying a lot of terrible stuff about me, calling me his “sloppy seconds”, “girl who’s a good fck” and even mocked C saying he should rail me like a wh**re. N also said that im just some chick from the past who means nothing to him, now that he has L. Also, N told C (who showed me messages) saying that N has been purposely leading me on and then cutting connection the past two weeks, just to see how long I’ll stick around and how desperate I am for him. So, Saturday night I made the choice for N. after C told me all of that, with proof… I blocked N from all social media, and L (not because she did anything bad, but I don’t want to risk seeing any photos of them together). I won’t lie guys, I’ve been a mess since. I feel betrayed, disrespected, angry at myself for wasting 333 days on this man just to be left alone again, to be his second choice. I can’t eat, all I want to do is sleep and cry. I feel so heartbroken and alone, I trusted N with so much personal information, I bonded with him so much… just to mean nothing to him.

I know time heals all wounds, really I do. But is there any way or advice anyone has to make this a little easier? I know… life is full of ups and downs, and im going to deal with worse in life than a little heartbreak. It’s just so hard to deal with all of these emotions and try to study and do my exams. Worst thing is? I can’t avoid N for the life of me… we’re in the same apartment building and I constantly see N and L together.

If anyone has any advice, or wants to share experiences with each other… I think this would be a good place to do it. If there’s any confusion to the situation, I’ll try and clarify in the comments. Thank you for reading, if you’ve read this far, it really does mean the world to me.

Disclaimer: I have copied this from my old deleted account and am posting this on my new account.

(M22) I am writing this more or less to sort out my emotions. I need to vent, need to write down my thoughts. I am doing this while crying rivers.

A bit ago I met this girl (20) on Lovense and we immediately clicked. She was into gentle femdom and crossdressing, as was I. Even though we were living in a time-difference of 7 hours, we still managed to talk every day. Talking to her made me feel something I haven't felt for over two years: Love. Deep, trusting Love.

She was so gentle and understanding and such a fun person to talk to. She was the cutest, most adorable and loveable person in the world. I was able to trust her and get vulnerable with her, something I usually struggle with. Subbing never felt this good and it's probably never going to feel this good again. I was able to let go of my fears and completely trust her. She was my little light in this dark world. Each time I received a message from her, my heart skipped a beat. It was the first time in quite some while I genuinely was able to smile. I was in love.

But now she's left me. I received a Dear John from her yesterday. The time difference is getting to her and it was moving too fast for her. She also feels that she cannot give the relationship the focus it deserves. This is super hard for me because I believe if we weren't in completely different time zones this could have flourished into something beautiful. My heart was so full of love to give, but now it's completely empty. It feels like it has been ripped out of my body and a black hole has been put into its place.

All I see right now is darkness and the little light she was shining has left. I don't know what to do, don't know how to feel, don't know how I will carry on without her.

I am lonely again. I am sad again. There is a part of me missing.

idk what to do or feel, my heart literally hurts. i’m 25 and experiencing my first real heart break. he’s cheated on me with no care in the world multiple times throughout our relationship. idk where it went wrong idk why i still want him. i can’t eat can’t sleep my anxiety is through the roof and he literally can care less. i can feel it in my chest idk what to do

Hey everybody. I just wanted to share my story of hope with you all.

I was in a year-long relationship with an amazing girl. We talked about marriage and we were excited to get engaged and married. Then one day out of the blue, she broke up with me. It was absolutely devastating. I had never felt a pain even remotely close to the pain I felt after the breakup. For three months I was in such a state of depression it was hard to do even the simplest of tasks. It has taken time, but I finally am starting to come out of my depression and even be thankful for the breakup!

The rose-colored glasses will come off. I realized that even though I was in love with my ex-girlfriend, I was never truly happy. It seems like a paradox, but the whole experience has made me realize that you can fall in love with the wrong person. I was so caught up in what my partner thought and felt that I neglected my own thoughts and feelings. If I had more self confidence I would have ended the relationship long ago.

I know I dodged a bullet. But the aftermath has left me hollow. What happened wasn’t just a breakup, it was a whirlwind that gutted me. About a year ago, I met someone who, at first, seemed perfect. She was deeply affectionate, from a culture close to mine, and for the first time in years, I could speak my native language with someone who truly understood. It felt like finding a rare oasis in a barren desert. She confided in me about her struggles with mental health, and I assured her it didn’t matter I’d support her no matter what. She was stunningly beautiful, and

I often caught myself just staring, completely spellbound. She visited my workplace one day, and we started talking. Before I knew it, I’d broken my own rule: never attempt a long-distance relationship. But she felt worth it. We leaned on each other through tough times, and I crossed oceans multiple times to see her. She came to visit me once. Then, in February, she got an incredible opportunity a prestigious role in another country. The pay was modest, but the title was significant, and in our niche field, that sort of recognition is gold. Her future colleagues arranged for her to live with a divorced man a veteran roommate of many women, they said, but sweet and harmless. It felt awkward, but given how small and tight-knit our professional community is, I tried to brush it off.

Meanwhile, I was drowning in the long-distance strain and the monotony of my stagnant job. So, I made a decision: I’d reboot my career and join her in her new country. I started applying to jobs, plotting my move, and unraveling my life back home. At first, I joked about her new roommate being her "type," and we laughed about it. But by June, the tone shifted. Her beloved cat back home died, leaving her heartbroken it was her first real brush with loss. Suddenly, her roommate became her rock. They started cooking together to save money, then cleaning, chatting, and unwinding with TV. Hours disappeared into this new ritual. Our communication began to erode. With a five-hour time difference, evenings were all we had, but she began to prioritize time with him. Our nightly hour-long talks shrank to a quick 10-minute chat before bed. I asked for balance, reminded her that I trusted her but that we needed to nurture us. Her response was sharp: she was too busy, too stressed. She began avoiding my calls, especially when she was with him. Her mental health became another point of tension. She often neglected her medication or avoided the doctor.

When I gently reminded her to prioritize herself, she accused me of being controlling. So I backed off. Yet I couldn’t ignore how deferential she was to her roommate—apologizing meekly when he barked orders, doing whatever he asked. It was a sharp contrast to the fiery independence she often wielded against me. I suggested a compromise: just text me when she got home safely. Instead, she would vanish for hours, only sending a terse “I’m home” long after I’d started worrying. Meanwhile, she demanded I drop everything, even work meetings, to talk to her on late-night bus rides, especially when her roommate wasn’t around. If I didn’t pick up, she’d unleash her frustration. But when I asked for even a small gesture of reassurance, she dismissed it, saying I needed to trust her more. Things briefly improved over the summer.

We reconnected, planned a trip for my birthday with a cherished family member, and I made concrete plans to relocate. I told her this trip was a chance for us to take stock if she had doubts about us, it was okay to sit it out. She promised she was committed. The trip was magical, and I felt hopeful again. One night, I asked if she thought we’d make it. She said yes. But as soon as I flew home, the cracks returned. She went to a bar with her roommate, ignored my messages, and the old pattern resumed. I confronted her, but she brushed it off with a flimsy excuse.

Then, out of nowhere, she ended things. She claimed she’d been unhappy for months, that she’d lied to herself and me, and that she no longer wanted the relationship. Within hours, she blocked me on everything. Just days before, she had told me we were fine. We spoke once more after the breakup. She denied at first the rumors swirling about her and her roommate but admitted they’d still be cooking together, watching TV, and continuing their daily routine. Only later to say “I know I replaced you with him,” “and I feel guilty about it.” Then she had the audacity to say it was for the best for both of us and that she wanted things to end on good terms. She repeated a concern that she wanted me to keep what happened between them a secret.

The irony? In our tiny, high-profile field, we will inevitably cross paths. She does not want to damage her reputation within our professional community, so she asked me to keep quiet about her and her roommate. Professionally, I will oblige because it is the ethical thing to do. But personally, I would be lying if I said the thought of exposing her had not crossed my mind during my angriest moments. After all, there are already whispers in her new country about how she managed to get the job, and I happen to know the truth.

Her job is a title of national pride and importance in this country, so the scandal would send ripples. It is tempting to believe that revealing those secrets would bring some kind of justice. But here is the truth: I would never, under any circumstances, do that. No matter how betrayed I feel, nothing justifies stooping to such pettiness. Destroying her would also mean destroying my own professional credibility, and for what? To indulge in a fleeting moment of spite? That would only serve to degrade everything I have worked so hard to build. Even in my darkest moments, I know my integrity is far more valuable than any sense of revenge. At the end of the day, I would rather take the high road and maintain my self-respect. Let others speculate. Let the truth remain hers to carry. It is not my responsibility to weaponize it. Nothing is worth sacrificing who I am or the respect I have earned. So here I am, sitting with the wreckage. Processing it all feels like an uphill climb. She may have been a bullet I dodged, but the impact still left its mark