About two years ago, a coworker/friend and I had a very flirty relationship. A few times before the night in question, we had gone out after work drinking, he had walked me to my car, and we fooled around a bit, not every time, but probably 2/3 of the time. Also, I say "drinking," but it was usually a drink for me and a couple of beers for him - I didn't feel uneasy about driving home.

The night that I'm thinking of, we went out after shift, and I didn't drink, simply because I was taking a break from alcohol/didn't feel like it. As far as I could tell, he had had maybe two beers: one at work a while before (he was a bartender), and one at the bar that we went to. That's all that I could tell. He wasn't slurring, slouching, acting drunk at all. I didn't think anything of it until afterward. So, we hang out, he walks me to my car, we start messing around, and he invites me back to his. I tell him that I would, but I should get back to my place and check on my dog. I tell him he's welcome to come by in a few minutes. I text him my address. He shows up a few minutes later. Drives himself just like normal, perfectly safely. We hook up. It's a little awkward and never happens again.

But the awkwardness that inevitably follows a dead-end hookup with a coworker got me thinking about whether he had actually wanted that interaction. So, I texted him about it, told him how much I value consent, that I had tried to check in throughout, but if he had felt at all pressured I wanted to know and to take responsibility. He responded with assurance that he had indeed wanted to hook up, that he had no regrets, and that he was sorry for the awkwardness. But his text contained the phrase "drunk decisions."

To be more accurate, this was part of his message: "Yes, I did want to hook up with you, no I'm not looking for anything serious, and no I was NOT [his emphasis] coerced into anything I didn't want to do. Was I drunk and making drunk decisions? Yes. Do I regret those decisions? No."

So, I took his word for it for a while.

Several weeks later, he comes into work telling a story about a crazy weekend during which he drank way too much and got in a brawl, all sorts of stuff. I texted him to let him know that I was glad he was safe but that I was concerned generally about his alcohol use and specifically about our little fling. I told him that back when we were fooling around I didn't have an appreciation for the role alcohol played in his life and that I was worried maybe it had played a larger role in our having hooked up than I was aware of. Again, I invited him to bring forward any concerns, resentments, regrets, anything.

And again, he assured me that he had none, that he had consented.

But sometimes when I think about that night, I just wonder if I did something horrible, if I raped him, if he wasn't legally able to give consent. I've gone down wormholes watching videos about this issue, whether consent is valid if alcohol is involved, and some draw a clear line where if one person is sober and one has been drinking, consent is impossible and the sexual contact is rape. And that's what happened. I hadn't had anything to drink that night. I thought he had only had two beers over a few hours. We had fooled around before. He had invited me back to his, then drove to mine. Then afterward assured me that he had wanted the whole thing, but he also used that phrase "drunk decisions."

But I feel like a crazy person because if he insists that nothing wrong happened, what do I do? I'm sick.

Me (F) and my boyfriend are having trouble to find a compromise so that we are both happy in bed. I dont like penetration and giving oral, i usually just use my hand on him and he enjoys it. It has been like that for a few months. Now he told me that hes sexually unhappy because he sometimes gets bored from always the same type of sex. It's a bit hard for me to understand because I don't get bored but I still think his feelings are valid. He doesn't want me to cross my boundaries just to make him happy and I don't want that either but I really want to find a way to make us both content with our sex life. I just really dont know how we can find a compromise in this.

Posted this in r/advice but I think this group would make more sense…

I’m 25F and my older brother 27M out of nowhere texted me this morning. We are not super close and he has moved away, but I never have felt uncomfortable or weird about him. I’ve always considered him my older brother that I love.

He recently just shared a confession from our childhood, saying he once had an uncomfortable fascination with my breasts that lasted until he was 16. which he says ended in his teens and still makes him feel guilty. I’m left feeling confused and unsure how to respond or process this. He said it has been weighing on him and he just needed to get it off his chest. This is heartbreaking to hear because I have a little brother who is 22M now but when he was 14/15 I caught him spying on me when I got out of the shower. I am left feeling empty and like I have now lost two brothers that have both womanized or sexualized me.

Has anyone dealt with a family confession like this before? Any advice on how to handle it would be really appreciated.

Posted this in r/advice but I think this group would make more sense…

I’m 25F and my older brother 27M out of nowhere texted me this morning. We are not super close and he has moved away, but I never have felt uncomfortable or weird about him. I’ve always considered him my older brother that I love.

He recently just shared a confession from our childhood, saying he once had an uncomfortable fascination with my breasts that lasted until he was 16. which he says ended in his teens and still makes him feel guilty. I’m left feeling confused and unsure how to respond or process this. He said it has been weighing on him and he just needed to get it off his chest. This is heartbreaking to hear because I have a little brother who is 22M now but when he was 14/15 I caught him spying on me when I got out of the shower. I am left feeling empty and like I have now lost two brothers that have both womanized or sexualized me.

Has anyone dealt with a family confession like this before? Any advice on how to handle it would be really appreciated.

What are some ways I can build my libido back quickly after I cum without having to take an hour or so to be able to get horny again ggrrrr.?

15M and my penis is like average but the girth is less it's very thin. will it increase?

My girlfriend really cares about hair, makeup, fashion, early on when we were dating I noticed if I said I loved xyz I would see more of it. We have been together a year, I have bought lingerie for her which she loves, we have been shopping together and I have bought her what I like her in.

The entire thing or process, gets us both off.

Our anniversary is coming up, I want to buy her entire outfit and send it to her as a surprise for the date I have planned. However I am fine on lingerie, the shoes and jewellery. I just don't have a clue about the dress? I know what I like but I don't want to buy something random, that she may not like, not fit, wrong color. Should I just pick something myself, send her shopping, ask someone?

Help wanted.

My wife was involved with stuff like what's in the title s very long time ago. People typically feel bad when having a past like hers, but she seems to enjoy talking about it very openly and reliving the excitement she had with dirty talk about such experiences.

Is this healthy for her. Am I allowed to enjoy her sexually during such periods? What can I do to help?

It's crucial to note that she keeps photographs and videos of herself from that time as a "pleasant reminder". If there's anything troublesome about such a keepsake, I'll need to know even though I fully support her decision.

I (F25) am dating (M30) for about 2 years now. I was a virgin when we met, and he slept with like 7 people before we met.

He slept with different kinds of women too(physically), so he definitely explored abit. He started having sex since he was 15 so… he definitely had a lot of sex it seems from what he says compared to me.

Whereas I never even touched myself because I grew up in a very religious household and it just wasn’t something I did.

When we first met we did it everyday. But now, he has rejected me so many times when I initiate. It went from once a day to maybe twice a month. He was so into it but now he barely initiates. I’m so of always initiating. For me this moments are still so new and fresh and I’m just getting into liking what sex even feels like (first year was very painful and now it feels nice). But he… seems to be not into it as much as I am. The only feeling I have is that, he is pretty much “bored” of this.

He can be super horny one minute and fall dead asleep the next minute when I go to the toilet and not do anything after. Like there’s no passion or even initiative. i tried talking to him many times and he just gives excuses every times (Don’t want to pressure you, don’t want to come across pushy, tired ,sleepy) and i always try to understand and help him with work and do all the house chores. What are the ways to make him like and want sex again??

I've (36m) been with my girlfriend (31f) for over a decade at this point. I've always had a facial kink but until I met my girlfriend I have never been with someone that also preferred them. Not only do I enjoy it from a visual aspect and a degrading/submissive aspect but we both don't like creampies. I have really intense orgasms and my head gets way too sensitive when I cum inside something so I prefer using hands to cum. She doesn't like swallowing and despite being on birth control has bad pregnancy anxiety so we both prefer pulling out.

It's probably only like half the time we end sex with a facial (we only really do doggy so if I'm feeling lazy I'll just nut on her ass) but lately I just feel bad afterwards and have been feeling really guilty. Like in the moment I feel really hyped up and she looks so damn hot between my legs with her eyes squeezed shut and her mouth open and her tongue out that I can't help but live out fantasies and make a mess all over her face. But then after a few seconds pass I look down and I'm feeling a strong mix of "I'm sorry" and "ew."

Lately I've been apologizing afterwards and trying to help her clean it off and she always reassures me it's completely fine but I still feel like a huge jerk for some reason.

Any advice to feel less guilty about facials?

I've been thinking about the marathon in a dirty way. What if we watch the runners from above rooting from them in over own way, a more sinful artistic way. Is seem like fun to me. How would you do it😏

I had an interesting things happen recently. I (m) was going down on my partner (f), and after she had an orgasm I kept going. She gets sensitive after orgasm, and usually wants PIV after she cums (sensitivity isn't an issue with that). If I'm really slow and gentle, then she can get to the point where she's not as sensitive, and I can continue. I got so turned on that I felt like I was going to cum when she was approaching another orgasm. I've felt that way before, but held myself back from cumming. This time I let myself go and came the same time as her.

The thing is, after cumming I was still hard, and felt like I was able to cum again (which I did eventually). Usually I'm totally done after cumming, and I need at least an hour (more realistically many hours or most of a day) to recharge. I suppose my first orgasm was a partial one? It didn't feel that way, but that seems like the likely explanation. Has anyone else experienced something like this? We tried repeating the whole experience again last night, and it all happened exactly the same.

I want advice on how should I approach sex and what to do and what not do. We both are virgins. I don’t want to do it on the wedding weekend but a few days after on our honeymoon. I’ve seen a decent bit of porn in the past but I don’t understand how that isn’t how you should view sex and how real sex isn’t like that. I want to have a healthy sex life and want it to be incredible. Also how do I approach foreplay, I read it can take up to 45min to get her ready, the heck am I doing to her for that long?

Thank you.

I, 18m, and i recently started masturbating, like one does, but i never feel pleasure no matter what i do. The only reason i keep doing it is probably because of the dopamine i get, but except for that i dont feel anything Is this linked to my ADHD? Is it permanent? Is it "treatable"? I want to know if im screwed for the rest of my life or if im doing something wrong

Hello. Me and my wife really getting into cock worshiping lately. I need to speed up things and make her absolutely addicted to my dick. We decide to make it like ritual every sunday and wait unpatiently for it. I will light up some candles and play some realxing music and watch her how much make dick make her. I also got some ideas to spice things up: she must wear different lingerie every time, she must dirty talking to my cock, I choose where to cum every time and than make photo and in the end of moth we choose the best one and print it on A4 paper. I would like to know if somebody got cool dirty ideas to make it even more hotter?

32M and 32F. While having protected sex with my boyfriend, I notice I keep getting utis. We only have protected sex, and never have done it raw. Is it something in the condoms? Sometimes I make the mistake of forgetting to pee afterwards, but that barely happens. How can I stop this? It’s annoying and super painful please help, I’m tired of constantly having to go to the doctors.

My (19F) bf (19M) and I see each other usually twice a week, sometimes longer on the weekends. We don’t have PiV sex very often as his bed is small + roommates would hear it.

We end up just doing oral and hand stuff, but I’ve been feeling like he never wants to do anything TO me and he only wants to receive.

This is because he’s always in the mood to do stuff when I’m on my period, so I can’t receive anything as it would get messy.

At first I thought it was just a coincidence and talked to him about it, and he said he was just tired when I wasn’t on my period. But it’s happened multiple times since then.

It usually goes like this:

• I am on my period and he’s in the mood multiple times a week (like when we see each other)
• I’m finally off my period (mine are quite long, 10 days) but he’s tired, which is obviously okay
• He’ll do something to me only once, maybe twice if I’m lucky, seems to me not as much as when I’m on my period
• I’m on my period again and he’s in the mood a lot

So am I overthinking this or is it possible that he doesn’t want to do anything to me? If so how can I talk to him about this, because I know he’s just gonna say he just happened to be tired but that won’t make me feel any better because he could be lying. Also, is there anyway we could fix this so the timing (when he’s horny and I’m on my period) is different?

TLDR: my bf is always in the mood to do sex stuff when I’m on my period but never when I’m not.

As a beginner i just had a sex with condom last day. When im fucking her without condom my dick so hard and erected
When i wore condom my penis lost erection what happend Anybody please explain this?

I have a question. In the morning sometimes the mood is on. But bad breath might be a turnoff. I have dated a couple women. Usually when they spend the night over or even when I was living with a girlfriend. I always lost the mood because I didn't want to kiss without first brushing or teeth. I know I didn't phrase the question right. But is it normal to kiss or make love right after waking up? With eye burgers and morning breath? Or is it like the movies?

I'm planning on going to Colombia, still haven't decided which cities or places, obviously what I'm planning is going wild there, I have a thing for those Colombian Venezuelan girls with that phat ass and beautiful pretty faces so I don know what are the ways, places.

So what I'm specifically asking is for a guide step by step of where to go, which places to stay for how long or for how many days, where are the girls or the good stuff how is the interaction and the ways on having intercourse with them, how to avoid the sketchy places or how to identify the scams or how knowing if its a legal age or not, or which places i have to avoid cause there's the underage girls.

I really appreciate your help and if it's not the subreddit to ask these please tell me where should I post these to get answers.

Ty

Recently I was dating a man and having sex with him. He was great in the bed and love to explore, however we ended things because I found out he was married.

I’m conflicted on whether or not I should engage in casual sex or not. I do have a better experience when there is some emotional connection. But simultaneously I’m tired of toys. I want to enjoy sex with another person, but with some emotional connection which seems rare with casual sex.

Okay... so my boyfriend keeps saying how much he wants to eat out my ass... but I have an anal tag I am super self conscious about. I honestly don't know what caused it, but I think it's from my last relationship when my ex would fuck me in the ass without lube, and I think it just ruined me... So now I'm too self conscious to let my boyfriend eat my ass.... I'm a bit embarrassed about it...

I've been wondering all these asses online are so smooth and shiny, what are your methods or skincare steps for your ass?

My ex used to tell me that doggy style was uncomfortable for him because he found it hard to stay in the right position. Apparently every time we tried he’d say it was difficult for him to keep his balance which made things awkward. I didn’t mind him mentioning it but he could have been a bit more thoughtful about how he said it.

I actually like the position so it was a bit disappointing that it didn’t work well for him. Has anyone else experienced something similar? Is there any way to make it easier for both partners, or is it sometimes just a matter of compatibility?

for reference, me (24, f) and my partner (24, f) had sex for the first time. it was both our first time, but i’m not too sure now if we both did cum after fingering and eating each other out. how do i know if i did cum, will i be spasm-ing? i know for a fact that i get even wetter after the fingering/eating. also how do i know how to hit the spot or “g-spot”?

Boyfriend and I have been together a long time, his birthdays after Christmas and I want to surprise him by finding another girl for a threesome. How do i go about finding one lol? Ive never been with a girl even though I have wanted to experience it, and he’s never been with two girls…

Any helps always appreciated 😁

I (29F) and my boyfriend (31M) have been together for almost 3 years, and in all this time, sex has stayed so vanilla it hurts.

For context, he refuses to perform oral sex, and if he does, it’s absolutely zero effort, and can’t give any pointers are he immediately gets annoyed. If I preform oral on him, he is not willing to cum in my mouth, which is literally my goal. Missionary is his choice, and always minimal foreplay.

In my previous marriage, we were more experimental and it taught me things I particularly like, but my current bf has zero desire to explore anything new, even though he knows I need more to satisfy.

How do I get someone to talk about sex, when they refuse to even say the word? To show him that there is more to sex than just what he knows. Cannot be healthy to be this horny all the time.

Hi folks,

Speaking as someone having regular encounters with friendly neighbourhood sex workers. Please could you help me out with these questions?

1. First question is a bit strange :) -

Since I am managing a slightly high blood sugar level, I daily check my blood sugar by pricking my finger, taking a drop of blood and using a glucometer.

Now - here's the question - I love fingering the lovely lasses I encounter.

What's the best protocol to have a good time fingering the lady when you also have to regularly prick your finger and draw blood for blood glucose measurements? Prick only right hand and finger with the left? Use another part of the body for blood glucose measurements? Etc? I feel like using gloves for fingering would detract from the moment and would like to avoid if possible.

2. There is a sort of boil/pimple on the scrotum which has been there for ever. It pains ever so slightly if I handle it/put pressure on it. Now my latest STI tests were all clear (including herpes HSV2, etc).

Now - I'm sure the boil/pimple is definitely not an STI - it has been there for ever. But I had the question - suppose in some violent copulation, the "boil bursts" or something? Wouldn't it be prone to coming in contact with fluids etc and picking up something??

If you were in this situation, what would you do to have safe(r) sex?

3. Any suggestions on HIV PrEP from those who take that? Are there side effects, is it very costly etc? Also - would anyone know the status of PrEP in India where I'm from?

Should mention: Obviously I use condoms for PIV sex. Not currently using condoms for receiving oral from the lady. I don't give oral with these sex partners.

Thanks

Hey! Firstly, NO JUDGEMENT. He knows I'm satisfied and that I do not judge him on this. Anyways. Been together for half a year and theres maybe been four or five times we've went for like three or four minutes (he's really good, usually I finish twice) but usually it's 30 seconds, if that. He always gives me head before but sometimes I wish we could just have sex for a little longer because I like the intimacy. He says his ex made comments about it and I think he gets in his head when we have sex, although we are very comfortable and open with each-other, and I think his premature ejaculation tampers his feeling of masculinity and self-esteem. Is there anything I can do/say/suggest to help him out or make him feel less down? Advice or anything pls

If you don’t know what vitiligo is, it basically causes portions of your skin to lose color.

I’m a black man but my d and ballss are white.

Is that jarring enough to be worth mentioning before sex? How should I go about that or does it not matter?