Hi everyone. I (25 F) have an older male colleague (mid 40s I’m guessing) who started messaging me on social media late last night. I haven’t opened all the messages but from what I can see is that he was drinking and basically wanted me to come to his house and hang out with him. I occasionally talk to him at work, but that’s really it. Also, this man is in a much higher position than me. What do I do? From what I can tell none of these messages are super inappropriate, but I’m so shocked with how forward he is.

My ex fling and I were speaking from start of the year until August. It ended because he felt guilty and he’s wasting my time as he couldn’t give me time and effort and said I deserve better. He wanted to be friends but I didn’t so we haven’t spoken since August.

Back in June, I already felt what we had was stagnant and I told him that I won’t wait around for him and been back on the apps as I’m really looking for something serious and meaningful. He knows this and I saw his friend like me on Tinder Gold (in June), I tried to match with his friend and we did. He knew we matched but said I could talk to other guys but appreciate if it’s not his best friend.

So fast forward to now, his friend liked me again on Hinge. So after not speaking since August, I reached out and told him to this and he just said the same thing but if I really wanted to message his friend, he said he guess I can. And then just wished me luck and until next time. I’m so confused with their behaviour.

TL:DR Should I follow my ex-fling’s wishes not to date his best friend or should I try to see where it goes with his friend?

How to handle a tricky situation with a friend (also a colleague)

I am friends with a guy. Last year, I went on a few nights out with his friend group and ended up kissing him, and on some occasions we shared a bed but never anything further than a kiss. Eventually I broke it off as I wasn’t really attracted to him and didn’t want to continue it further, but wanted to remain friends. We didn’t stay friends as he was hurt by this (understandably, although I didn’t give him the explicit details of why I didn’t want to continue) but after about 6 months ended up texting again purely as friends.

We work in the same general field of work but when a position at his work came up he told me I should apply. It was something I’d always wanted to specify in so I did it. I got the job and now we work together in the same office daily.

After working with him for about a month, we both went to a work event/night out together as none of the rest of the office wanted to go. We got very drunk and he confessed that he was in love with me and that’s why he had got me the job. At this point I had a boyfriend but I wouldn’t have been interested in that way anyway, as I strictly viewed him as a friend. It was very awkward, and eventually came to the conclusion that he needed time away from me.

So another month in, back at work we started chatting as normal again and it’s continued that way since. However, recently I feel he’s started to come onto me again a bit. He called me pretty when I changed my pfp recently which I just laughed off and then he bought me flowers which again, I just laughed off and said there was no need but it felt rude to not accept them.

As he’s not explicitly said anything, I don’t really know how to deal with this situation. I don’t have many friends where I live so spend a lot of time with him.

I’m not interested romantically at all and I feel like I’ve made this very clear. However, I do value him as a friend and enjoy the time we spend together.

Does anyone have any advice on how to deal with this/him going forwards? Particularly baring in mind we work in a very small office together.

Obviously he can’t help it if he has feelings but it’s starting to make me uncomfortable and feel like I’m unintentionally stringing him along.

Thank you

TLDR:

A friend and colleague is still interested in me after I’ve rejected him twice. What do?

Hi, I am a freshman and just started college this August. My boyfriend and I have been together for two years, and have recently went into an LDR just this August,. I've been feeling like this since my boyfriend told me I cannot go drink outside with my friends often. He said I could only do it once every two weeks and I should update him every 10 mins when I'm out drinking with friends. After I told him it was suffocating, he changed his mind about it. After that whole thing, I just lost interest in him. I love my boyfriend so much and I care about him but I now have these thoughts of wanting to date other people, especially women because I want to explore my sexuality. I am bisexual and have encountered the thought of regretting not dating other women. Not only that, I feel like my boyfriend is limiting me from growing. He is a very thoughtful, kind, and a sweet person, but sometimes he limits me. There's this one time when I passed a really good school in our country (University of the Philippines) and he got upset because I'll be away. I also talked to him about wanting to study in an ivy league school and how I want good education, but he also got upset because I'd have to move countries and I'd be away. During senior high, he was also insecure of my achievements which made me feel bad about myself. He's literally a green flag in every other area other than that. He's like very insecure which I didn't like. I really love him, he's a good guy but I can't deny my feelings of wanting to date other people. I also started to develop a crush on my roommate who is a girl which made me more guilty. Of course, I don't want to act on that crush but I don't know why I have a crush on my roommate if I have a loving boyfriend. I feel really conflicted and just terrified of my feelings and of everything that is going on.

Additionally, I used to not trust him that much. He used to have this friend that is a girl who was too close to him. He didn't notice that she was doing too much, and it broke me. She would act so weird in front of me and it crushed me. Like, she would just be too close to him, sitting beside each other or standing beside each other. Like there's this time in a group setting where my boyfriend was literally beside me but he moved to stand beside her, it was crushing. Before, I would see in the photos that they are always beside each other and one time, he went to her house to do school works on her laptop. He also walked her home because he said girls were missing. After I said something about the whole thing, he cut her off but the damage was done. I started to not trust him anymore. He also used to give white lies about something so small which made it even harder to trust him.

After some time, he started to change for the better and he doesn't lie anymore. He's been a good boyfriend overall, like sweet, kind, and clingy. And now, I feel guilty because I just feel like I'm so young and that I should explore more. But at the same time, I love him and I want to grow this relationship. He's been like really good to me now, and I'm just conflicted. I feel so helpless because after moving cities and going to college, I met a lot of people and I just started to feel like I want to explore. Honestly, I just want a stable type of love, but I don't know why I feel like this. It's just that I have lots of dreams and aspirations for myself, and when I try to imagine what my future would like it would be just me alone and my boyfriend isn't there. I imagine myself travelling alone and that's it. I feel really terrible about this because I care about him.

I need advice on what to do in this situation, because I am really confused and terrified. I don't know which step is the best for my future, whether it is to stay and fix the relationship or to just be myself; whether my feelings will just pass or that the feelings would be worth considering. I have many big dreams and goals for myself, and I just want to be the best version of myself.

TLDR: I am losing my feelings because I want to explore other options but at the same time I love my boyfriend and I want to grow the relationship. I also feel limited sometimes by the relationship. I need advice on what to do for my future.

Me and my gf have been together for 8months. Before we started dating, she had a 1.5 year long fwb situation with a guy from her college. This guy is part of a friendgroup class above her. Her best girlfriends are in that same friendgroup, so basically my gf and her fwb ex still see eachother in parties etc because of this.

Previously she told me that she and the fwb ex are not in contact, but a week back saw a snapchat notification from that guy on her phone while she was in shower.

The situation makes me feel uneasy and a bit anxious, even though my gf is very judgemental about cheating and haa made it very clear that she loves me and wants to spend rest of her life with me.

Any opinions or advice if i should talk with her about this or ignore the notification if it just was some vain one time thing?

I've been told recently by my partner (38 m) that I unintentionally make older women resentful/upset because of my appearance (skinny and younger looking due to genetics and lifestyle). And that if I ever tried to bring this up to older women they'd lie to me and say they're not threatened or insecure about me.

I have a lot of women in my life who I have deep admiration and respect for because of their life experience. I'm often excited about their views, advice, jokes and lean on them for support.

But l'm starting to think that even existing around them in the way that do (like I refuse to eat cake for example because of my orthorexia even when older women friends encourage me to have a slice) or that wearing singlets or dresses or high waist pants in front of them (as they make me feel most comfortable) is unintentionally harmful because it's "showing off" my body.

Is my partner right? Should I not talk to my older women friends about this? Should I dress on longer sleeves and looser clothes when with older women friends? Should I stop sharing meals with them so they aren't confronted by my restrictive eating that actually "helps" my conventional and skinny appearance?

I'm very confused and don't have other women my age to talk this through with...

Thank you!

EDIT: Hi all. Thank you so much for your care, advice and warnings. It's clear I need to think through my partnership. Apologies for the clumsy wording. This original post was written very haphazardly and emotionally.

I have heard this is a regular issue among my age group so I know I am not alone and am hoping for advice from someone who has been in my boat and can direct me to some options. I went on bumble friends and nothing came from it.

I (30F) find myself in a sorry state in regards to friendships. I have moved around a bit, lived in a small town in an isolating marriage, divorced and moved to a bigger town. I work in a small office of only a few people and in my work we rarely see each other as we have meetings with clients who come in and most of us schedule back to back.

I had best friends when I was younger, but we drifted apart due to distance and my issues of maintaining communication with people I never see.

At the moment I have a small friend group that one of my coworkers is in( 30M, 30M, 37M, and 30F). I really enjoy being around them, but my hours of operation are different from theirs. I have been close to different members alternatively but none seem to have a desire of being closer with me. I'm the only one initiating individual hang outs.

I have one person I am friends with who has stated she (early 40s F) is open to being closer to me, but she also never initiates and due to my issues with communication says at one point she gave up on me, but she could do better at initiating hang outs.

My boyfriend has a good friend who is married (30ish M) and boyfriend is pushing me to become good friends with his wife (30ish F). I like her a whole lot but scheduling is the same issue. We don't have many hours in common.

Basically I work "second shift" so my free hours of operation tend to be from 9:30pm to 1am during the week and weekends things come up with my boyfriend, my work, or illness. So scheduling has been tough.

As far as my personal qualities. I like cozy story video games and crafting. I am great at initial meetings but often struggle with texting regularly if plans aren't being made. I am some kind of neurodivergent, was labeled adhd as a kid but might be more autistic. I am a big extrovert, love talking to people but am a huge homebody. I am not religious. So I don't have any outlets to meet people regularly.

I don't really know any routes to take. If someone could help me with a starting point, I'd be grateful.

She(19F) is a common friend to me(20F) and my boyfriend(21M) as we have a common friend group but she is closer to my boyfriend. We have been dating for 2 months now but have known each other since 2 years. She is close to most guys in the group ( i mean obviously) and is weirdly more chatty whenever around my boyfriend. He doesn't hang out with her or talk to her on daily basis as such. But she is a bit touchy with him. She pokes him, suprises him from behind by wrapping her hands around his neck while he's sitting and hit him in a teasing way. I don't like any of those. I might sound insecure yes.. But I used to ignore as me and my boyfriend both have acknowledged and talked it out as she does these with her other "close guy friends" too. But recently my boyfriend was heading back to his hometown for 10 days and they both had similar flight timings and so were about to share a cab. I wanted some couple time with him before seeing off. Not even 15 mins had passed, she arrives near the hostel gates with bags and sat with us! There was still some 30-40mins before the cab arrived. And I mean okay! They are travelling together so it makes sense. But! She was sitting with us and just blabbering non stop without acknowledging my presence. I felt like i was third wheeling! Now I understand he can't just shoo her away.. But i need to be able to take charge of the conversation and engage him with me! I mean she should feel as the third person as she is, not me! But i just sat there utterly silent.. He did talk to me a bit in moments between but my mood was ruined already. What should i do and act in such situations? How to take charge without showing insecurity or disrespect to anyone? Asking this since we got a good house party on 9th and she would be there too :(

TL;DR: My (20F) boyfriend (21M) has a female friend (19F) who’s touchy and chatty with him, making me feel uncomfortable. She interrupted our alone time before his trip, barely acknowledging me and making me feel like the third wheel. While he did talk to me in between, my mood was already ruined. How can I confidently engage him in these situations without seeming insecure?

My friend Katie and I met in high school when we were both new to the same school. Turns out we were also next door neighbors and we became best friends. We did everything together and were like sisters.

Fast forward 5ish years and I am now living in an apartment off campus with my college friends. Katie goes through some life events post covid and finds herself needing a new living situation. My roommates/friends and I have an extra room to rent out so Katie comes to move in with us. That’s where the downfall of our friendship begins. We started fighting over things that we both admit now were stupid and could’ve been handled way differently. We slowly drift apart and it got really awkward to be near each other by the end. During this she becomes close with one of our roommates and also my friend, Sophie. It gets to the point where I move out on bad terms. I send Katie an apology text after I move out and she doesn’t accept it. We don’t talk for two years.

We are both 25 at this point and a couple months ago she reached out to me to apologize for everything. We started talking and following each other on instagram again. She tells me that she moved so she lives about 15 hours away now.

Basically the whole point of this post is how do I continue a long distance friendship like this? I feel weird because obviously we aren’t as close as we used to be but she is still best friends with Sophie. So I almost feel replaced?(Sophie and I also had a falling out and are hardly friends anymore). Would it be weird to ask Katie if I could take a trip to see her? I don’t see us getting to a point in our friendship like we used to be if we are long distance and only text a couple times a week about small talk stuff. I just miss her, I haven’t seen her in person at this point for 2+ years. I texted her that I feel weird because nothing in my life physically changed when her and I started talking again. Like we haven’t been able to have a reunion after our breakup. She said in response “ i think to ourselves it seems like nothings changed because we go through the motions day by day and the little changes do add up eventually i think after years. but it doesn’t feel like a lot to ourselves.” Which idk what this fully means now that im reading it back lol.

Any advice is appreciated!!

My girlfriend and I have been together for almost 8 years, living together for 7. Over the course of those years, I've learned several things about her that have changed the relationship. She lied about her likes and dislikes when we were first dating, desperate to not lose me and willing to sacrifice all of the things she enjoys. After convincing her that I didn't want her to do that, she slowly showed me that almost everything I fell in love with was a lie. I'm realizing, a few months from our 8th anniversary, that we're completely incompatible.

She is a loner I crave togetherness

I am hypersexual She is almost asexual

I am a big proponent of therapy to help resolve your past She prefers to bury her feelings forever and avoid ever talking about them

The list goes on and on. I've tried being interested in the things she likes, but she prefers to be alone. She would rather sit out in her truck to play games, watch movies, read books, listen to music... Every time I've tried to go to the truck to enjoy those things with her, she stops doing everything. It's like being near me is a hindrance to her happiness.

She swears she loves me. Despite everything, I love her too. I just can't be happy in a romantic relationship with someone I never see, who refuses to talk to me about anything, and shares almost none of my interests.

I don't want to hurt her too badly. What is the easiest way, for her, for me to break up with her?

Hi all. I need some advice. I (29F) have always been obsessed with beauty and dressing up since a child. I didn't feel pressurized, i genuinely enjoyed it. Even as an adult, it's sort of my safe space. However, every time I dress up or wear a new outfit and no-one compliments me, I'm honestly crushed. I start thinking about all the things I could change to be more attractive or whether I'm not longer attractive. I am aware of how screwed up this is, but I'm unable to overcome this issue. I want to self validate but I fail everytime. It's gotten to a point where if I go to an event, my main focus is how I'm being perceived. Sometimes, i just don't have fun because these thoughts are going through my head. Sometimes I feel as long as I'm happy with my appearance, i shouldn't care. But other times I feel if I change my makeup/ hair / skincare, I can be attractive. I really don't know how to deal with this. Should I give up on trying to be pretty and take the focus off of my looks, or try to tell myself that I am pretty and I don't need anymore validation. Please help.

Lastly, I'm aware of how immature this sounds. Please please don't judge me.

Recently, my partner (26m) distanced himself away from me (22f) (we’ve gone no contact cause he said he wanted a one month long break), and I’ve came to the conclusion that he could be struggling with severe low self-esteem. I want to say depression, but I really don’t want to self-diagnose him :)

He would turn my discussions into fights and say things like “Stop blaming me for everything” when I was talking about what’s hurting me. I’ve always used “I” statements and tried to focus more on our feelings rather than being confrontational. But I realized ppl with low self-esteem lash out whenever they feel threatened and become a bit more sensitive when they think others are “harsh” on them.

Another thing is that he would have breathing problems when we get into arguments (or more like conversations escalated by him…), and after he went to the emergency room many times because of this, the doctor eventually told him it could just be a panic attack and that the emergency room isn’t where he should seek help. He found the doctor rude:) because he doesn’t believe depression is real…….

I wonder what suggestions are there for me to try to support him or get him help? (I’m already planning on asking him to go to couples therapy after the break, so I could get him to set foot in the doorway of professional help.)

TL;DR Boyfriend has low self-esteem and went no-contact, he seems depressed and I don’t know how to support him.

So for background, I'm into D&D. My college has a D&D club but because it's so big, we only really do one-shots and special events. I've been trying to find a long-term campaign, but the way the club has people advertise their open campaigns lowkey sucks. There aren't that many and most of them aren't that interesting. A couple still piqued my interest, but they have their caveats. One is fine with me joining but the campaign will be ending soon and the DM isn't sure he wants to do another next semester. For the other, the DM and prospective members were a bit older than I was expecting, definitely out of college, and all guys as far as I can tell. I only met three of them and supposedly there's a possibility of 1-2 more joining, and I'm pretty sure they're also guys. Also, the meetings would be taking place off-campus at the DM's house.

I fortunately haven't ever experienced sexual harassment or assault but I am very aware of the possibility and I realize this could be a potentially dangerous situation. However, I struggle a lot socially and was hoping joining a campaign would help me reach out more. My worry is if I decide against joining, I won't be able to find another campaign that interests me before the rest of the year flies by and I'll be just as alone as before.

I guess I'm wondering if anyone has any good tips for staying safe in this situation? My current plan is to buy some fabric scissors and air freshener for some makeshift self-defense weapons as a just-in-case since they don't exactly sell tasers near me and I wouldn't know how to use one anyway. But I'd appreciate any extra advice I could get on this.

She has allready stated she would say yes.

Me (F23) and my boyfriend (M21) started dating about a year ago after becoming close friends through a mutual. So far, it's been perfect. We've met each other's families, gone on vacation together, said i love you, etc. It's pretty serious and we plan on staying together for a very long time.

He's very respectful and kind and thoughtful and we are literally best friends in a relationship.

The issue is that when we first got together, we were very sexually active. I think over the course of the first two weeks we dated, we had sex like over 20 times. I was having a blast and so was he. We separated for the holidays and did not see each other for about 3 weeks. When we saw each other again, we obviously tried to be sexually active again but it was ruined by an intense burning sensation on my end. I thought it was a one time thing. But every time we tried to have sex, I felt the burning during and mainly after. Sometimes, i could fight through it, and sometimes not at all. 

I went to the gyno when I realized the severity. They did a million tests and bioposies, confirmed I had nothing wrong, no infection, etc.

But it's still there, 9/10 times. Obviously this has decimated our sexual lives. Since Jan, I can onl 2-3 times a month.  He’s been very understanding but sometimes, he gets very frustrated. Not at me, i guess. But more so at the circumstances.

I’m trying but my perspective on sex has changed so much since now it’s really just associated with pain. He says that sex is not the only factor in our relationship but through the things he says and does, it makes me think to him it extremely impt which is valid. 

Anyways, last night he initiated sex and I told him i didnt want to and he just sighed, turned over and left the room. He was gone for like 10 minutes and when he came said that he wanted to just go to sleep.

I get his frustration because I am also very frustrated that I can’t seem to figure out what’s going on and that our sex life is different. My friend thinks we should break up since sex is so impt to us and that portion is so complicated. My feelings are a bit hurt beause last night, he made me feel really bad. But idk about breaking up. But also idk if we’re gonna end like hating each other the longer this goes on. 

I don’t want this post to get banned so I would appreaciate any advice just pertaining to my relatiosnhip issue and how we should move going forward. Thank you.

TLDR: 

Me (F23) and my boyfriend (M21) are experiecing relationship issues due to sexual capabilities. Friend recommended we break up but im not sure. How should we move forward?

I (w32) feel like I have lost my concept of what is true and real in my romantic relationship (m32). We have been together almost four years and in that time, have had a lot of disagreements and hard conversations that have sometimes felt heart breaking. We keep working and leaning in towards love and yet, even small miscommunications are feeling big these days. It hasn’t all been so up and down and we have made progress (a lot individually and together). However, I’m starting to feel that I don’t know how to understand whether I am crazy in these convos or if I am being misled a lot. Continually coming away from arguments that somehow started when I shared my feelings or shared a brainstorm that didn’t sit right, or tried to explain my perspective on something, is so incredibly confusing. This lack of clarity is starting to feel jarring. I feel lost and cannot tell anymore if I am being gaslighted or am just a selfish partner. How do I figure out my truth in this relationship and figure out if healthy for me? How do I know what advice on healthy and unhealthy relationships is the most beneficial to take from?

TL;DR: Losing my sense of truth through a romantic relationship and struggling to determine if it is even healthy anymore

I know this is a major difference in values w.r.t certain things. This behaviour makes me insecure and annoyed and irritated. I haven’t really acknowledged the issue with him, and I don’t want to. I feel like it’s really not that big of a deal, but sometimes when scrolling through his feed and a Salma Hayek thirst trap pops up, I feel a little insulted. He thinks it’s shitty behaviour to follow thirst trap accounts and all that and he doesn’t do any of that, his account doesn’t get a lot of those content recommended as well because he doesn’t engage with them. But somehow when it comes to actresses, he doesn’t think it’s a problem. I mean most people don’t, everyone follows celebrities blindingly on social media. Sometimes when I spiral, I go on his following feed and feel bad about comparing myself to all the actresses he follows. I need someone to be straight with me and tell how I can work on my self esteem better, so that I’m not triggered by such trivial stuff. Today’s episode is because while watching YouTube some ad came up, with Sydney sweeney in it, and he was like isn’t that Sydney sweeney? Now I’ve watched a few things with her in it, so I recognise her, but I know for a fact he hasn’t, and none of her work is his type, except for the obvious nude scenes that he’s probably watched on porn sites or wherever. So naturally it bothered me that he knew her. And then feeling a little self destructive, I went on Instagram and checked whether he’s following her and he is. I’ve just been marinating in this shitty feeling for a while.

I don’t know what I want from here, I don’t know how to feel better. I don’t know if I want people agreeing with me that what he’s doing is wrong, but then I have to confront him and make this a thing and I don’t know if I want to. I don’t really want that right now. But I do need some help or reassurance so I can ground myself a little bit from this shitty feeling.

Edit : a big reason this makes me feel bad is because I know for a fact that he only follows these actresses because he thinks they are attractive, often times these are actresses who do work that he doesn’t even think is good, people who can’t act, but are hot. He follows a lot of people who have relevant content or talent or whatever and are hot, but with these celebrities I know that the only reason he follows them is because they’re hot. He used to causally say that someone is hot when we’d watch something together. And I wasn’t super comfortable with it, I acknowledged it with him, and he slowly managed to stop doing that. But that still means I know everyone he thinks is hot, and that matches his following exactly. I wish I didn’t know this tbh. But yeah now he follows some of these actresses who get trolled by the industry itself for being terrible at acting, and he’s a snobby person with his taste in art and movies, so him still following these people makes it evident that it’s just because he thinks they’re hot.

In the last few years I (30F) have become much more confident due to the work I've done on myself. I used to be a lot more insecure and I am proud of the inner work I’ve done to get here.

I've noticed that people treat me differently now, and feel like people almost preferred me in my more vulnerable state.

As l've accomplished more and grown in my confidence, l've lost friends and faced more opposition. It's this weird thing where I feel like more people "test" me and try to bring me down a bit. It's strange because they don't see how hard I've worked on my insecurities. Words still hurt because I’m just a person.

It feels like being confident has made me less liked and that has been hard. I noticed that a coworker who is very anxious and who seeks a lot of validation is treated with such kindness whereas I'm treated more rigidly. It hurts because I also want to be treated kindly even if I don't seek validation. It’s like you are socially rewarded for showing that you are not confident.

I thought confidence was going to make my social life easier and now it feels harder. Can anyone offer advice?

Hello! Please let me know if I need to change or format my post if it’s not working.

So. I’m not a period haver. As I’ve never had to deal with it, I’ve realized I’ve left a gap in my preparedness. It hit me recently when I saw a free vending machine in the library bathroom giving out tampons and pads.

While my emergency kit has bandaids, gauze, soap/shampoo, toothbrushes, breath mints and lozenges, toothpaste, etcetc, I don’t have anything relating to period hygiene products.

I am aware from previous relationships that there are different flow levels the pads rank at, and some have wings? That’s about as far as my memory serves.

Is there somewhere I can buy a Multi-Pack of one of each pad’s flow level? I’ve tried looking it up and I’ve not found much. Also, should I stock up tampons of a certain varietal or also branch out in type?

What else could you suggest I carry in my little kit? I’ll happily defer to your knowledges, whatever you feel would be super helpful if you somehow needed it while out and about.

I am a silly clueless man with a desire to learn and wield this information to help whoever needs it.

❤️ I thank you in advance. Bis später.

Hi ladies!

I’ve always struggled getting a smooth/clean shave down there as I always find myself suffering from razor bumps, no matter how gentle I am.

I started changing my razor more frequently, exfoliating before shaving, use a shaving oil, and after I’m down showering I’ve been putting aloe down there as I’ve read it helps soothe razor burn. This has made some what of a difference, but I usually still end up getting some bumps.

Any advice?

This might be long, but I really just need to yap :(

I (F21) am a college student and I have a friend (F20) who I'll call Jenny. Last semester, Jenny and I did a film project together with about 30 other students (we were both film majors) and it was super stressful and not enjoyable for me. Jenny and I were both in leadership roles, and so we had to corral a ton of college students to try and get this project done. I don't enjoy bossing people around/yelling at them, but Jenny is more comfortable telling people what to do. She often yelled at people on set and even made someone cry a few times. A lot of people were honestly not helping her out and she was taking on a lot of workload, so I understand her frustration on the entire thing, but she was definitely really aggressive with people for a lot of last semester.

Fast forward to this semester. I have switched from film to a bio major, and I am SO much happier doing something I genuinely love. She is still a film major, no interest in bio. She talks to me a lot about how it's hard to connect with people in the film department, and how they don't really seem interested in spending time with her. Part of me thinks they're being a bit unfair and rude to her, and the other part of me sort of understands that they wouldn't want to hang out with someone who spent the last semester yelling at them, lol.

Here's the thing. She loves hanging out with me, and always talks about how no one else wants to hang out with her. And as much as I try to enjoy spending time together - going to movies, out to dinner, etc - I just don't. I don't feel like we have much common ground anymore, and she does have a sort of argumentative/intense personality that is opposite of me. I'm also super, super busy as a bio major who also works part-time at 2 different jobs, and honestly don't have time to hang out with anyone that much. She's not ever unkind to me or anything, but sometimes she does guilt-trip me about being too busy to hang out. Most of the time I actually am busy, but some of the time, I just want an evening to get an hour or two to chill from constant work instead of rushing out to the next event. I should also add that I'm very, very introverted.

Does anyone have advice for me on how to move forward? I don't think she's doing anything wrong as a friend really, she's a very kind and caring person who is just feeling upset and outcasted in a lot of ways right now. I don't want to add to her distress by telling her I don't want to hang out anymore. I just really feel like every time I hang out with her, I come home feeling much more anxious, irritated, or annoyed than I was before. I feel super guilty for just not enjoying her company, especially since she's struggling with being left out by other people.

TL;DR: I have a friend who's not doing anything terrible or unkind to me, but I just don't vibe with her anymore, and I don't know how to proceed.

I just turned 26(f) and i promised myself ill move forward this year extremely grateful of what I have achieved and who Ive become. I guess this post defeats that purpose. I don't know what I'm expecting out of this but i guess i am just looking for support?

This was a trying year for my friend relationships. People did not turn out to be the way I thought. I try to be detached from other people's actions and focus on my own, but I feel excluded out of conversations. I feel like people know all about my emotions and feelings because i am honest, but i don't know anything about theirs. It's for them to know discuss but not to tell me. I feel like a little child, where adults are gathered to have opinions on my opinions.

To top it off, i've never been in a relationship and it doesn't seem like it'll happen for me anytime soon either. All my perspective and fears come from things that haven't happened to me yet or I have evidence of. I am scared that I am not attracted to non-ethnic men as a brown girl. I am scared that I am not interesting or mature enough to keep a man loyal to me. I am scared that my lack of experience is a off putting.

I have had amazing things happen to me and i still have good friends relationships. But i am not someone that makes friends easily. I am not someone that captivated a man's attention that he wants to come talk to me. I am high functioning anxious person who doesn't know whats shes doing and has never learnt to enjoy what she has. I am tired of people telling me to go do what I like and makes me happy.

I don't know what makes me happy. I have always lived vicariously through my own future or someone else's life. I forgot to live in the moment. I have really good things going on for me on paper. I live on my own, i can afford things i couldn't as a child. But now what? Where is my dream life? Where is my dream man?

What is my dream? All i ever wanted was to be pretty but that is out of my control. I never really thought about other things.

i got cheated on early this year and i've been doing absolutely everything to make myself not look like how i used to before from going from long curly hair to short with bangs , dying my hair , from getting my nose & belly pierced and my ears all pierced up , but nothing i do makes me feel any better , i try and work on inner beauty, and try to work on myself and make myself beautiful from the inside by being a good person , being kind , being giving etc but i can't get the image of the girl whom i got cheated on with , she's the complete opposite of me she's bone skinny and im small as well but curvier , younger than me by 2 years which still makes me feel bad she has long straight hair && just a completely different race from me so that just makes me feel worse, and i can't stop seeing her in the back of my mind & i can't stop looking at her page from fake accs i can't stop the comparison && i haven't been able to make myself feel better abt myself since i found out if anyone has any tips on how to feel beautiful after being cheated on or how to stop comparing or stalking whom you got cheated on any tips really would be appreciated thank you :)

What are the chances of it clogging the pipes? I haven’t noticed any different sounds of a blockage when flushing yet. The bullet vibrator is a rounded silicone shape and is super small with dimensions of 3.1 x 0.7. Please give me advice and tell me if you think i should be concerned or not.

There's a long list of things I've done, both good and bad during the (almost) year we've been together.
We were together for 4 years before this current interval of the relationship, but that ended in April of 2021. After that, we didn't talk to each other for a couple of years, until late 2022, where we talked for little over 3 months, and after that, no contact, once again. In October 2023 she messaged me out of the blue, I followed some of her social life through instagram, and noticed that the guy she was going out with was out of the picture, and had been for a couple of months. He did something horrible to her, and that's the first thing I asked as to why she was contacting me again, because I was paranoid and thought that we only contacted one another if something was going wrong with our lives. We talked and went out for little under a month, before we got back together. She had a lot of trouble with her family while we were growing up, and we were always there for one another, we know each other since we were 10 years old. When we started talking again, she was living with her mom again (last I heard, she had run away from home and gone to live with her grandmother) and was living in a nice place in town. I was going to the gym almost every day and was doing good in medical school, I was becoming the person I wanted to be, and I was feeling ready to go back into the dating scene. We set up ground rules, and she knew I had friends I had made since we broke up in 2021, I had a girl best friend, who had become like a sister to me, and in two years, nothing beyond platonic ever happened. She wasn't thrilled about the idea, but understood she was important to me. A few months go by, and her mom kicks her out of the house along with her 2 siblings (M20 and F24) out of the blue, she goes with both of them to live in the run down apartment of their great grandmother in a not so nice part of town, I became sort of the only support she had, and she came over to stay at my apartment/room often. She would hide days on end here, and sleep and tell me she didn't want to do anything, and I could see her deteriorating and lose the strength I had seen when we started talking again. One day I was going out with my girl friend, and we went out to eat, to a place near my apartment, It was late, she wanted to walk, and I had recently been mugged, so I wasn't big on the idea, so I suggested going to my place.

We go back to my place and I text my gf to tell her how things are going, and she freaks out once I tell her that we had come back to mine. She said that we had promised not to do anything that could be misinterpreted, and I had gone against that. I asked for forgiveness, and she said that she'd give me a chance. Things started going downhill from there, and that was about 3 or 4 months into dating. She asked me to distance myself from my friend, and I agreed, because I wanted to keep dating her, so I did, I started talking to my girl friend less, and stopped going out with her. After that, she told me to follow some influencers she liked so I could understand when she spoke to me about them, I told her I had already followed them on an account I had to follow influencers. She freaked out, because I hadn't told her about that ig account and she thought I used it to message other people and cheat; it wasn't the case, I just followed a lot of influencers, and not even fashion models, I mean male TikTok fashion influencers and aesthetic people, no underwear or ass shows, just denim and vinyl collections sort of stuff, I used it to screenshot their stories and posts and use them on my own (keep this in mind, because this is the reason for the most recent fight, which happened yesterday), after this she once again got mad at me, I told her that I didn't talk to anyone there, and she struggled to believe me, I ended up deleting it around 2 months after this. Following this, she became more and more paranoid about me, and where I spent my time, if we weren't together hanging out, we were on google meet, she got mad at me when I was busy, and treated me poorly and angrily when she felt insecure. She once told me she didn't believe I was in love with her, and I couldn't understand why. She had some moments where I saw the person I fell for, the caring kind girl and funny secure person that loved me as much as I loved her, and when that happened I forgave all of the unkind things she said to me and how she yelled at me when she was angry. She would get mad at me on occasion because of the inviting my girl friend home incident, out of the blue, after she had told me she forgave me, I understood nonetheless that an insecurity is something of a process to deal with, rather than a check it and forget it kind of thing. I ended up ghosting my friend, because I didn't want to fight with my girlfriend anymore.

She went back home to live with her mom, because, in her words, she wanted to get better, and was going to get help now that she didn't have to provide for herself, and could be provided for. After this, I didn't do anything else that would be considered suspicious or unfaithful by her, but she kept getting mad at me, and treating me poorly, so she suggested a break for a couple of weeks, where we would work on ourselves separately because we had become joined at the hip. I agreed, and we went on a break, we still texted to tell each other we loved the other, and one day, I told her I was going to talk to a male friend I had stopped talking to months ago, because I didn't agree with what he was doing with his relationship. She got angry at me when she realized that I talked to him to rekindle the friendship, and was ready to break up with me because of this, I didn't understand and I told her I missed my friend. She told me she thought I had changed my mind and now agreed with what he did with his relationship. That wasn't the case. For this we met in the middle of the two week break, and she decided that she didn't want to be in the break anymore, and wanted the normal state of the relationship again. I felt I still needed some time so I asked for it, she didn't want to, and got sad and then angry at me, and told me that I could have it if I needed it so much, she blocked me everywhere for the following week, and unblocked me a day before the week ended. We met, and she told me she had a foot out of the door, and that I was losing her.

I felt in that moment, that now that she was back home with her mom, and that she didn't need me as much, she just wanted to be done with me. And I felt used, because I shared my home, and my food with her, and gave her all the time that I could, if not more than I should've, at times neglecting my studies to give her the attention she wanted.

I convinced her not to break up with me, and told her I would do things better, and have been doing them ever since. She still fought with me and got angry at me, but I stopped feeling as if it was due to something I had done, and rather thought it was because she was feeling insecure and depressed, so I held her hand as I accompanied her through it. yesterday, we were in bed, and she asked me to tell her the stories behind the photos in my ig posts, and I had never had to explain to anyone ever that most of them weren't taken by me. I tried to lie, and make up stories, and she got the wind of it pretty soon, I told her then, that most of the photos weren't mine, and that I did that because I thought my life was uninteresting, and boring, and saw all the photos of the influencers I followed, and thought that their day to day lives, even when not doing extraordinary things, was better than my normal cookie-cutter life. She called me a sociopath, and told me I was sick, and there was something truly wrong with me, she wouldn't let me talk, and believed I was lying about the photos, she believed they weren't mine completely, but she didn't believe when I told her that the ones that were, were as I was telling her. There was this photo of a hand, and she believed it was the hand of my now estranged girl best friend, I told her it wasn't and that was the truth, however, she didn't believe me. She told me I had been lying to her for over a year, and I wasn't worth being with, that I was sick, and that she didn't want to be with a person that could lie so easily to her face. She told me she didn't know who I was, and said that the only reason I didn't want to break up, was because apart from a couple of friends, and her, there was nothing real in my life. I stopped reacting, and she then said that I had two options; I could let her break up with me, or I could continue being in her life as a friend, and that was it. I asked her not to break things off, and let me talk, but she didn't, and told me to shut up. She called a cab, and left, and asked me not to go looking for her at her house. That was last night

I tried today, to text her to apologize and ask her to talk. She replied by telling me that she was honest and vulnerable from the first day, and that all I did was lie to her. and that she couldn't forgive that, or let it pass, she reiterated that I had two options, and there was nothing else to talk about.

I don't want to break up with her, because I know I cared for her, and I know I love her. Because I lied in social media, but cut doing on doing the posts thing once we got together, and stopped a couple of months ago. I took care of her for months, and held her as she cried, and gave her food when she wouldn't want to eat, I nurtured her as best I could, and I didn't regret doing it.

I haven't cried at all, not yesterday as we fought, not today. I just feel tired, and want to keep working on the relationship, because I have put all this effort in, and I know we love each other. She hasn't deleted our highlights together, nor has she changed her twitter profile pic, where we're together.

I want to continue in the relationship, because I know she's a good person, and I know she's worth it. And I know I'm not a bad person, I never once thought of cheating on her, or saw it as an option, even when she believed I would, or already had. I have given her my all.

So, strangers on the internet that actually took the time to read all of this, any advice? should I just let go, and embark on the years long process that was recovering from this relationship? or should I insist, and try, even though she has said that's not on the table? or should I do something else? please help.

So, I work at a hard labor job that involves moving 200lb counter tops and 80-150lb cabinets into semi trucks, and this often leads to a nail snapping in half of tearing off completely, if I'm not careful.

The problem is that I often use my nails to tap out the ghost notes, when I'm playing piano. So, no nails, no cool effect for my songs.

I don't mean to sound presumptuous or rude, but growing up, I would always see women complaining about broken nails. Logically, assuming this stereotype is at least SOMEWHAT based on fact, I would assume someone would have found a solution by now.

So, if anyone could explain said solution to me, I would very much appreciate it.

Me and my girlfriend have been together for a little while, and I just want some perspective on how it affects her because I find it difficult to talk to her about it.

She and her ex were together for a few years, and I briefly knew her when they were together. I thought they had a good relationship from the outside (you really never know). A few years after they broke up, we got together and she revealed that she was sexually assaulted through out the relationship (her words). The sexual assault was in the form of coercion, I think, because she said she didnt want to have sex but would out of obligation.

She said it was never physical and more psychological and she was never forced, and she never refused. I believe her and believe it was sexual assault, as she described and have never and would never doubt her about that. But everytime shes talked about it, shes done so in a vague way.

I would really like to talk to her about it and understand her better, since her experience seems to be causing a lot of problems for us in our relationship, according to her. (Things like jealousy from her side, getting mad about my short relationship, while acting like hers didnt happen) I dont know how I can bring it up without it seeming like im doubting her, if thats even possible.

TLDR: gf’s past relationship and SA is affecting ours. I have trouble understanding her past relationship, and want some advice with that.

I would love outside perspective on my situation. I’m in 3 years long relationship and me and my partner (both early 30s) met abroad and come from neighbouring countries. He was born and grew up in a tiny village and he can see his future only there. I grew up in a small town that I hated with all my heart and move to one of the biggest cities in the country. When me and him met he told me he doesn’t see his life anywhere else than his village and if I am ok with that and I told him I would like to try to live there and see how I feel about it. It’s been a year since I moved here and I don’t like it too much. I don’t understand the language but this is not a big deal since I am fast learner and I am already able to communicate in shops etc. Problem is somewhere else, I feel bored in the village and I am not used to it. I only have my boyfriend here, his group of friends is nice and some of friends speak English but I don’t feel big connection with them since they were all born and grew up here and have a lot of history together and most of their conversations are about people or events I have no idea about. I am sure after few years I would be able to make friends on my own but I am also sure it’s going to be a challenge because most of the girls here my age that I met have husbands and small kids and no time to make friends with random foreigner. Meet-ups are non-existent here, there is no group for expats either and closest big city is 1 hr away by car. My current job is remote so however if I want to progress in any way or get promotion I will have to travel/maybe move to the city for a while and my boyfriend already told me he’s against that. I also have to admit if it wasn’t for my boyfriend I would never choose this place as a place to live.

These are the bad sides. The good side is beautiful nature and ability to be with my boyfriend that is amazing person and I love him with all my heart. But subconsciously I feel like I am sacrificing so much for love and I feel stupid with myself. I shared my doubts with my boyfriend but he told me he doesn’t see himself anywhere else and wants to stay in his village. I am not sure if I should end the relationship and let him find someone who’s going to like the place or try to somehow push through discomfort and try to settle here and see how it goes?

My (25M) girlfriend (26F) and I have different views on what we want from life and I don’t think we’re compatible in the long run.

I want kids, she doesn’t, there’s cultural differences that are making things difficult (I’m Indian and she’s Caucasian), she’s eager to move in together, I’m looking to move elsewhere for my career, and so much more.

The worst part is, she truly is a wonderful and kind human being and the first person I’ve truly ever loved and I really want things to work, but I just don’t see how they will.

I had ended things earlier this year after figuring out the difference on wanting kids vs not having kids, but she wanted to get back together to figure things out but I feel like we don’t and haven’t ever even talked about it since.

She wants me to go to Buffalo for Thanksgiving with her family and spend Christmas with her and I just don’t think I can do it.

It’s going to hurt both of us, and she is fragile, she’s in therapy and grad school, and I’m worried about how this would affect her and I’m so worried about her.

I don’t want to hurt her, I don’t want to hurt either, but I feel like it’s a matter of when as opposed to if I break it off again and I feel so bad about it.

So, all of that being said, I come to you asking how I can do it in the most gentle, compassionate, and appropriate time.

Please, any and all advice would be greatly appreciated.

My mom got diagnosed with cancer. We're thankful it's a curable kind 90% after 12 rounds. Me and my husband don't live local to our families but we're a couple hours away. The plan was to go home for Halloween weekend to spend time with my husbands nephews. My brother lives with my mom and my sister 20 minutes away(she has a 4 week old)

I get a text from my sister this week asking if we're coming home this weekend. I said yes and she proceeded to tell me that she thinks my mom is nervous about her 2nd chemo treatment and my brothers going away this weekend. She asks if we have a Halloween party which I said we didn't. I offered to stay with her this weekend and tell my sister I feel bad she's been feeling so crappy. No response from my sister.

My mom has not once told me she needs me to come help or that my brothers going away. She's very much the type to not ask me to come home or ask him to stay. Yesterday I get a call from my MIL checking in on how my moms doing. She casually mentions his grandmas birthday party this weekend. When my husband gets home he goes "unfortunately looks like we won't be going home this weekend I've got a ton of work to do"

I'm not sure what to do. I know the logical thing is I just go home but I can't drive home and last time I suggested I take the train he insisted on driving me because he didn't want me around a bunch of other people in an enclosed space then around my mom with a weakened immune system. My husband feels my brothers not stepping up enough(I sort of agree but he's doing what he can) and will 100% feel like he needs to skip going away this weekend to be there for my mom.