SO, I'm like no where near the age to be married, I'm still in high school and all. But I was wondering, for those who had a single mother growing up--how do you do it? I'm thinking into the future if I get married, how am I supposed to leave my mom alone? It's not like my dad is around either, nor is it like she's well off or anything. Like I always thought I'd let my mom live with my and all but now thinking about it, what if my partner doesn't think the same? Like I'm literally a teenager and all but just the thought of it is just bothering, yknow?

Me and my husband have been married for 5 months (together for 8.5 years). I went on a 5 week holiday to visit family and 3 days before returned he called me and said he wasn’t anticipating seeing me and he enjoyed being alone and he wants a divorce. He said it scares him being with the same woman for the rest of his life and that he missed the chasing and conquering girls. during these weeks he has been hanging out a lot with 3 very single guys who often poach about their singleness, threesomes and open relationships.

When I got home after a 30 hour trip (feeling extremely anxious because I don’t know what I am coming back home to). He said that I am like his medicine and he has been sick. He was feeling a lot better when he saw me. He said that our relationship is amazing and there is nothing he is missing. He said he will never be able to find anyone as good as me and with the same connection. He says he now has to chose between the shallowness of just wanting to chase girls (because he says he doesn’t want a relationship and he likes being alone) or to stay in a loving marriage where he is loved.

He also told me that he only slept with 5 people in his life and that he feels he has missed out (he was 28 when we met). He feels he only has a few good years left (he is almost 36) before he turns middle aged.

We went to see a couple therapist. The therapist said that if he feels this way only when I am gone, but when I am back the feeling goes to the background. It most likely has to do with unresolved childhood traumas. He comes from a very unstable childhood and didn’t have good marriage examples in his direct environment or a safe environment where he felt loved.

I feel things kind of turned back to normal, we do talk about this issue a lot. But I just feel so extremely hurt. It feels like I am not good enough or not giving him enough. He says that it is him, he is the patient and that I am amazing. He apologised for saying wanting a divorce but realised he needs to work on this thoughts he has. He keeps saying to me that he is the patient.

I haven’t felt like myself at all the last 3 weeks, I lost all my life lust and don’t feel like doing anything (except going to the gym).

I try to be my bubbly self around him to show that things can be normal. But at the same time I just feel very very lost… my husband says he is doing the therapy because he wants to try to go for the marriage. Oh and we are buying a house together in 4 weeks time from now….

How do I get out of the feeling of being so sad and hurt? I feel very hurt by my husband but to be able to move on I need to put this feeling aside but I don’t know how…

Are there any other people who have had a similar experience? Is it normal for people to question these things?

Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Feeling very stuck.

Tldr: husband is doubting if he can stay with the same woman the rest of his life.

Feeling stuck. Been married for almost 13 years, have two kids under 5. We moved across the country to a new city 7 years ago, both to try something new and because we couldn’t afford our old city/state anymore. That meant moving away from my immediate family who I am very close to.

Since moving here, I’ve tried to make it work, but it just hasn’t clicked. I don’t feel at home here or connected to the city in any way. In fact, I kind of hate it here. I also have bad seasonal depression (it’s very cold and gray here)—where we moved from is sunny and coastal.

Most of all, I miss my family more than words can describe. My dad’s health is also declining, and he suffered a major stroke last month. I couldn’t be there. My brother is doing everything for my parents 100%, and I am riddled with guilt that I can’t help as much, and most of all, that I am missing out on so much time and memories. My family adores my kids, and my kids adore them. My brother cries a lot describing how he never expected to feel this way (about my kids), and that it destroys him we can’t all be closer together. I feel this way too. Family won’t move, because they hate the cold, and are pretty well-connected to where they live.

Family offered to help us out if we wanted to move back. Their help would allow us to buy a home and make it work there which is incredibly generous. Both my job and husband’s jobs are remote and we can be anywhere. I feel such a pull to be closer to family and to move back. Since having kids, my priorities changed so much, and I didn’t realize how much my family contributes to my overall happiness and sense of peace and connection.

Husband likes where we live and doesn’t want to move back. He’s been quite dismissive of my feelings about it—tells me we can’t move for “emotional reasons”, and doesn’t want to move the kids, even though they’re young and not super connected here yet either. He also doesn’t want my family’s help with a house, etc., and therefore claims we can’t afford it. Family is now very resentful towards him.

We did a few sessions of couples counseling last year and almost separated over this (mostly because I felt husband refused to listen and is quick to shut it/me down). But divorce wouldn’t solve much because I’d still be stuck here anyway. I ultimately didn’t want to divorce because of the kids (I know), so chose to make it work, which meant no longer having the conversation and trying to accept life the way it is. Husband’s dismissiveness, even regarding my dad’s health is, “just go visit.” He doesn’t understand visiting equals a 4 hour plane ride, expenses, being away from my own kids, and is just ultimately not the same.

Even though we aren’t really talking about it anymore, this hasn’t gone away for me. I think about it constantly, and just feel so sad and depressed. There’s no hope that we could “maybe move someday” or even somewhere else that’s closer. It’s all shut down. And because my dad’s health is so bad now, they can’t travel any time soon. So it’s up to me to visit, which again, is hard, expensive and is still not solving the problem.

I don’t know what to do. Any attempt to share my feelings causes an argument and brings us no closer to a solution, other than for me to just accept this and move on. Which I’ve been trying to do, for the sake of my kids and my own mental health. But it’s eating away at me. And nearly every time I talk to my brother, this comes up, and he can’t help but share his sadness, frustration and resentment towards my husband as he sees him as controlling and the only thing that is keeping us all from being together. And he’s not wrong. But I’m also so sad that this is now causing so much tension in my family and towards my husband. The overall tone in my (immediate) family is just a sense of hopelessness and grief. And that’s exactly what I’ve been feeling, too.

I guess I just don’t know what to do. More couples counseling would probably be good, but again, there’s really nothing to solve. And nothing will likely change at this point. Do I commit fully to finding a way to accept this and move on? Choose happiness where we are? It’s hard to do when I feel like my husband is robbing us of what we need now in life, and doesn’t seem to care about how this all affects me. That’s the part I can’t fully shake. So then do I separate?

What I am trying to figure out is—is this a deal breaker? Or am I being selfish/self-centered? He’s not a bad person, but I am trying to figure out what it means to me to be with someone who is dismissive and unwilling to be open to anything that opposes his wants or feelings. He can come up with “10” reasons why we shouldn’t move back, and that ultimately means he’s right, and that’s the end of the conversation, regardless of my own “10” reasons why we should move back. He “hears me”, he says, but it’s ultimately, “well we’re not moving back!” Dead end, every time.

What do you do in a situation like this? If I am the one being selfish and needing to change my perspective, I will do it. I will make it my life’s work to accept things, move on and make the best of life. In fact, I want to. I hate feeling this way. But I struggle to know for sure who is “right” here, and whether I am staying in a marriage that is crummy and unequal.

*wanting to add for more context: I am lucky that I do get to see my family a few times per year. We visit 1-2x, and my family then does most of the traveling here. My brother will often come for a weekend, but, it’s always such a huge production, so expensive, exhausting and takes a lot out of everyone. And now, as mentioned, my parents won’t be traveling here (or anywhere) anytime soon because of my dad’s health. But we are the type of family that loves to hang and be physically involved in each other’s lives, and no amount of visiting is equal to that. Husband sees it as, “you get to see each other a lot, that’s great! Visit more, if you want. Isn’t that good enough?” Should it be good enough?

I have asked my husband (my teenage daughters step father) to back off the kids a little bit, he is always telling them off, grumpy at them, disciplining them too quickly. We go to therapy and I have brought this up several times.

The girls father pops in and out of their lives whenever he feels like it but isn’t a constant.

I feel very in the middle of the situation because I want to support my girls but also support my husband. However, I have asked that he not be so quick to tell or grump at them as I can see it’s damaging their relationship with him, I have also said let me be the bad cop and he can be the good cop. The problem is he actively seeks out things to yell at them about… I’m a bit more of a “pick your battles” parent as I’ve been a parent for a little longer and know what’s worth the argument especially with teenage girls.

I’ve said it calmly, I’ve said it in counselling, I’ve said it during an argument, I’ve said it so many times but it always falls back to him being the disciplinary one. He works in a job where he is around “youths” who commit crime and sometime he comes home and treats the kids as if they are doing the same thing (I can assure they are not)

How do I get him to back off?

I am just curious to hear and take a poll if others truly said yes because they found their person or was it more of a rational/logistical decision. Basically does love still exist.

I’m M (24) from India. Seeing countless divorces and how the judiciary often favors women, I grew terrified of marriage. To escape this, I made a pact with a lesbian friend—we’ve pretended to be together for two years and planned to marry, giving us both the freedom we craved.

But now, my best friend (F23) discovered our secret. I’m trapped, unsure how to keep this from our families without everything falling apart. The fear and pressure are suffocating, and I don’t know what to do.

I think I’m fairly good at handling conflict (though I’m sure most people don’t think they’re the problem). I communicate honestly and respectfully when my spouse has done something hurtful and I consider myself emotionally intelligent. However, every time I convey a hurt, my spouse and I end up in DAYS long conflict and I feel like I truly hate him, which definitely leads to me holding grudges. From my perspective he gets defensive and invalidates my feelings. From his perspective I bring up too many things and should just move past hurts on my own. We just can’t seem to have healthy conflict.

As an example, my (40f) husband (40m) went out for dinner with a friend and texted after midnight saying he was sleeping on the friends couch bc he was too drunk to drive home. He got home around 6am and I politely let him know I felt disrespected and don’t think it’s appropriate for either of us to be getting so drunk we can’t make it home to our spouse and young children. He got upset, I got upset, and the issue wasn’t resolved. After a couple hours of seething I approached him to try to find a resolution. He apologized, but said he’s not going to compromise on this issue and it may happen again. I’m furious that he’s basically saying I don’t care how you feel!

How do healthy couples work through something like this? My husband seems to think I’m crazy for being upset and I’m just mad that he’s so invalidating..and why do I have to ask a 40 year old married father of two to not act like a college kid? What’s my part in this? How do we move past things like this in a healthy way? Genuinely wanting to learn.

We (37f & 35m) live in a nice apartment with our kids (7,5,1) and dog (2f German Shepherd/pitbull). My husband continues to let our dog out unsupervised and unleashed to go to the bathroom. I have explained sooo many times how this is not only irresponsible but dangerous. The rule here is to always leash your dog (which should be common sense). But he refuses and continues to let her outside, thinking it’s harmless since she is “nice” and does her business and returns to our door. I typically am the one who takes her out on a leash and picks up after her - even when I have a baby in my arms - but there are times I’m taking care of kids when I hear him let her outside. He won’t listen to me. He won’t abide by apartment rules. He doesn’t care that we have been approached by neighbors about leashing her. I am beyond frustrated and feel so disrespected that he can’t do the very basics of being a responsible dog owner. My resentment is growing and I can’t even talk about it with him because he will stonewall me and brush off my feelings. ****To top it off he lets the kids ride in his truck without being properly in boosters or car seats. Again, thinking since his truck is big and sturdy and that he “doesn’t go far or drive fast” that it’s okay. It’s not! I’m over mothering him and explaining the basics of safety and common decency. How tf can I get him to realize how careless he is being and to just be responsible?!

I still want to try and I still love my spouse so much. But, long story short I need to leave my marriage. We’ve been in counseling and he’s been ambivalent and wanting to leave for two years. I am tired and acting in unhealthy ways in this dynamic. I can’t do it anymore - not without him stepping into the role of being committed. He’s initiated two breaks already.

We are on our second break for him to “think about what he wants” I am sick of it. I just can’t do this anymore. I love him and am always here if he wants to try but he’s just not committed anymore, so my effort is meaningless if he can’t meet me halfway. I understand it, I get it and I know I’m not perfect but I can’t keep being in a marriage where my partner keeps saying “I don’t know” when it comes to us. Not for two years. Does anyone have any advice on how to process this and know how to walk away? I keep wanting to try but I feel I need to stay strong and stick to walking away. I can’t stay in a place where I’m not valued, or wanted anymore.

I’m so fed up and angry. He has been like this since the begging.

In the sauna constantly looking that my bra doesn’t go “too low” or that I keep my legs closed. Don’t post anything in bikini. Don’t wear a T-shirt at the gym cuz you might go up side down and your bra will show. Wear exercise cloths in online yoga classes, be careful to not show your underwear etc.

A few days ago I posted a picture from 5 years ago at the gym in a bikini saying how my body image was very skewed back then and he called me a wh*re and disgusting.

I honestly hate this feelings!! To be restrained, constantly watched. I never had issues with my body before this!!

In short, these are the points I am covering:

• my husband keeps excessively controlling that none of my “private” body parts are showing together with my underwear.
• I am trying to find a way to deal with the frustration these issues caused.

Ok sorry if this doesn't make sense I'll try my best but it's hard to type when I'm this stressed.

So I am 28 and have 2 sisters. One is 21, and is overall a complete asshole at times. Other is 26 and is border-line special needs. The biggest issue is, even though she doesn't "look" like it, she has a hard time learning new things and processing things. She's a very attractive woman, blonde hair, blue eyes, loves running, stays very fit, and is honestly a goddess with makeup too. She is married with a son as well, husband is a great guy and their baby is adorable.

Growing up she would get bullied because she had a teachers aid assigned to her, and since she didn't "look" like she was special needs, everyone would just assume she's dumb.

Anyway, her and my other sister got into it over politics (of course) and didn't talk for a few days. It was honestly over the stupidest thing too but that's irrelevant.

So, my younger sister, made a fake Instagram account and messages my other sister, saying her husband is in gambling debt and is going to be killed.

She believed it, and then after haggling with this fake account, finally says "if you really have to kill someone please just don't hurt him kill me instead." And my other sister, ran with it and arranged an execution time, and the sick fuck convinced her own sister she is going to die.

I fucking cried when I read it.

And the worst part is it's been almost a day; she genuinely believes this. She won't say a word because she probably thinks it'll void the "deal" they made. She won't pick up my calls but said she'd like to go on a trip with me tomorrow a couple hours away where we grew up and go to this diner our mom would take us to.

Dad is out of the picture, mom is no longer with us.

I'm conflicted on what to do. I mean either way I'm going to have to seriously kick my youngest sisters ass for this, but aside from that... I'm on the fence with getting husband involved, she won't call me back only text. I'm worried she'll do something really stupid thinking that it's not going to matter.

My wife(f25) and I(m27) have been married for about a year and a half and have been together for 4.5 years total. I love her with all of my heart, but we have had more than our fair share of issues.

A little bit of backstory. I worked in construction when we met eachother. I started at 16 and became pretty proficient by the time that I met my wife, even to the point of having my own LLC and doing my own side jobs outside of my 9-5. While I was good at this, she could tell that I hated it (terrible on your body, long hours, shitty bosses/coworkers, etc.).

My wife encouraged me to quit my job and go back to school to become qualified to do something that safer that Im more passionate about. I thought that this was wonderful to find someone that was so supportive of me (I could not do it alone financially).

So, I quit my job making 50-60k a year, nbd. Now, I am working as a school bus driver because the work schedule works well with my school schedule - and working/going to school full time.

Here's the issue, my wife is going to graduate from her PhD. program about a year (give or take) before I will finish college. She wants to move across the country, start a career, and start having children as soon as she's finished. I have no issues with any of these dreams and want them for myself.

My wife absolutely berates me for "not digging deep enough" and intentionally trying to "keep her in our current state" forever and just completely flies off of the handle because she's worried about not being able to have children the moment that she wants to, and not being able to move the moment she is finished, and about my "holding her back" in life.

I have expressed to her that there are things that we can try (ie, talking to her advisor about potential job opportunities to get her through the year and help her gain work experience), and that regardless of how upset she is about this bad timing, that she has no right to berate, disrespect, and talk down to me.

Yesterday, I told her that this marriage will not work if she continues to act this way. (This is her default reaction to anything that is less than favorable to her). In the past, I have struggled with a pretty strong marijuana dependency. She absolutely shit on my entire existence 98% of the times that I consumed marijuana. Even though I owned my shortcomings and respected that she didnt want that in our lives. Today, I do not smoke or consume in any way. So, new "problem", same behavior from her.

I am a young, healthy male that goes to the gym regularly, works a full time job, and goes to school full time. I prioritize my health by not using substances and I love and respect my wife, but for some reason she acts as though I am a complete drag on her life and I am beginning to wonder if we would both be better off alone. To the point that I am ordering online divorce papers because after our conversation yesterday (about how I will not stand to continuously be disrespected), she follows up with more disrespect and hate speech today.

I dont know what I expect from writing all of this. I could just really use some advice...

To make a long story short - my wife and I got married a year ago (together for 6). She was laid off due to the writers strikes and now has a job that pays her bills - the wedding went on her credit cards. or part of it anyway.

Fast forward to today I am unemployed and as of late last year lost my father. She has been supportive of grieving and everything but when it comes to house bill to keep us a float (asked her for $160) which is half our cost for these bills she said I don’t have it but then says you should drive for uber. I know she does have it and I feel like I’m being taken advantage of. Any advice or opinions. Freshly married so wtf do I know

Also just for clarity - while she was not working and looking for work I paid for everything never asking for anything.

We agreed to be partners 50/50 and while that’s not always the case I would like to see my partner help with house bills as well since she lives here too.

Her CC bills are high.

Hi I’m a 20 years old (f) I really think I found the one and he thinks that too, we are both talking that we are here for the long run. But everyone keeps telling me that I’m too young to know. I really don’t think that . So my question at what age have you met the one and how did you know they were the one ?

Hi. I would really like some input. I am doing therapy individually and we are also doing couples therapy. But I just want others opinions on my situation as this last year has been the hardest of my life. I will try to give as much detail as I can. If I miss anything, please ask & I’ll do my best to clarify.

Some history. I’ve been with my husband just over 3 years. We got married in the court February 2024. We are supposed to have our “big wedding” in may.

February of last year, I had a double ear infection for the first time. I have just had all sorts of issues since. I had COVID in December 2023, some doctors have thought I’m just having a high inflammatory response due to potential long COVID. I have had all sorts of pain issues. Constant daily ear pain, jaw pain, neck pain, face pain. I have seen tons of doctors and no one has been able to help. This past week I finally saw a TMJ specialist & was diagnosed with TMD. I’m hoping to have a game plan to help relieve the pain, but this will take time.

Mentally & physically, I’m a mess to be completely frank. I’m in pain all the time. Most days I’m sitting between a 5-7. I’m having pain eating, talking, and tbh, functioning. I’m fortunate to work from home so I am managing work ok at this time. But seeing how much my quality of life has gone down I am just so down. It feels like no one can help me. I’ve tried several antidepressants for the record but they make my clenching worse so I haven’t been able to stay on them.

To add to the stress of everything, my husband I can tell is very frustrated. He has a very high libido. I did at one point. But being in pain so much has just diminished. I am still trying my best to have sex with him once a day to every other day. Again, being honest, I try to be into it but sometimes I just am not because I feel so bad. My jaw for months has had restricted motion, so oral sex has been very limited as well.

Some days, he is very supportive. He’ll comfort me, cook for me, take care of things around the house. But there are many days he just is mad. He’ll say he regrets marrying me, he wants to sell our house because he feels trapped, I’m not fulfilling him sexually, he doesn’t want to be in a relationship where he doesn’t get oral sex, etc. Mind you, the last point I hope is temporary as I’m working with the TMJ specialist to help with range of motion.

It is absolutely stressful to hear him get mad at me because I would give anything, literally anything, to feel like my old self. Part of the reason I’m so sad is because I feel like my old self is gone & daily horrible pain could be my new normal. I do get his perspective that he also got put into this situation & I understand his frustration. The TMJ specialist feels a lot of my pain is coming from stress and I’m clenching all night long basically. As stressful as the pain is, the unpredictability of his mood & how he’ll be from day to day doesn’t help either.

I don’t know what to do. I’m trying. I really am. I am normally a very private person & do not like to show emotion or how much I’m struggling. He just happens to see me breaking down constantly because we live together. What do I do. I have this wedding in 3 months that I can barely get the energy to plan as well. I appreciate any kindness or words of wisdom.

On another note. I’ll admit, I never had any idea how horrible TMD was before I went through it myself. For comparison, I have broken my femur in the past & I was able to manage the pain from that better than this. I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy. It’s absolutely awful.

I feel like if the situation was reversed, I would just want to support him however he needs. I would never want to make him feel guilty for experiencing pain or sickness. Because in my mind, marriage is in sickness and health. I just can’t imagine treating him and saying the things he has said to me.

I got quite a bit of feedback on my last post regarding my ongoing divorce. For those who did not read previous post, basically we are getting divorced because I want children but my wife does not.

The feedback was interesting because I got to read quite a bit of different perspectives.

1. Some have made claims that I want children for the wrong reasons. No I genuinely want to be a father and have a loving family. Nothing compares to the joy of becoming a parent. Many parents have said this.

2. No I would not just be content being an uncle or adopting. It's not the same.

3. My wife is an amazing person, I am not kicking her to the curb. The disagreement is just too massive to continue the marriage. It would be unfair to both of us.

4. Yes, I do understand how much work having children would be. Nothing worth doing in life is easy. Several years ago I took a big risk leaving a comfortable well paying job to start my own business. It wasn't easy and certainly challenging at some points but it has been worth it.

5. A few had questioned if my swimmers were even capable. I had a check up with my doctor to make sure I am in good health. Everything came back great. No health issues, sperm count and quality is good, and my bloodwork and scans also normal.

The house sold and we got a good price for it. The realestate market where I live is holding strong so the property appreciated quite nicely since we bought it. Divorce is tough even in the best circumstances. I have a therapist who I see that has been helpful. My wife will be staying with family for awhile.

I plan on taking some time off and doing some traveling. Snowboarding trip out west. Then Europe in March and April. Likely Spain and then Southern France. Old friend of mine has a villa in the French Riviera, been meaning to visit. Some solo travel should help me heal. Will likely also be taking a break from social media (including Reddit) for awhile. I appreciate all the comments. Even the ones that question my intentions or disagree with the choices I have made. Afterall disagreement is a crucial element in discourse.

I am newly married. My husband and I lived together for two years before getting married. We have always shared the bills 50/50, and I am okay with that. However, after we got married, he insisted I change my last name to his, citing that it is traditional. I pointed out that it is tradition for the man to take care of 100% of the bills, and he is not having it.

We got into this whole argument. I don't mind attaching his last name to mine, but I hate that he feels entitled to it, and it's unwilling to see where I'm coming from. All I want is for him to acknowledge that a name change is a big deal for a woman.

He wants a modern marriage but a traditional wife. I know we should have had this discussion before marriage, but I didn't think it mattered.

TL;DR: My wife and I have a very one-way-street relationship. I don't see us staying together in 10 years without some drastic changes.

I am very much the "giver" in our relationship. It's my default position, I like to take care of my wife. I want her to be happy, so I'll do what I can to make sure she's able to be happy. Normally, I don't mind. But after many years of this being our dynamic, I fear it's become a one-way street.

I don't feel like my acts of service and listening are reciprocated. I've come to my wife many times in the past saying I feel like I'm ignored and left being nothing more than a shoulder to cry on or someone to vent with. To be clear, I don't hate this role. I'm only upset when I feel taken advantage of.

The only thing that I've consistently asked for from my wife is for us to have more sexual intimacy. We have plenty of physical and emotional intimacy, cuddling, quick kisses, hugging, talking, etc. But the one thing that's always lacked is sexual intimacy. In the past when we've had sex I suddenly feel reinvigorated to do things for my wife. I feel closer to her, like she's actually my wife, not just a roommate.

We're two months into marriage counseling and things haven't really changed. We're able to talk a bit more openly about sex, but the actual effect of having more frequent (and fun) sex has yet to occur. It's worrying because I was already out of patience and trust with her before I convinced her to try counseling.

Do I keep being there for her even though I'm still frequently feeling ignored? I fear that wouldn't give her much incentive to work harder at our sex life. But I'm quickly running out of patience due to waiting around for years and being told in the past that she would try to be more sexual without much difference. I feel like I don't have much left to give.

Im just posting this to rant. I’m a working mum of 2 and I’m married. I’m just so sick and tired of being the primary parent and being the one to take care of the house. I do majority of the cooking and cleaning. Yes I have day whereby I don’t clean or cook I’m shattered and I work full time. Yet I get called lazy. I’m so sick and tired of hearing “all women are the same” whenever we argue. Excuse me what?? Im the one who held it down when you were out there doing god knows what. I’m too loud, I shout I scream? I could be laughing and I’m too loud. Never used to be a a problem before. I’m starting to feel like he’s slowly controlling me. I feel like I can’t wear makeup or perfume without being asked who I’m wearing it for. I don’t go anywhere apart from work, shopping and to my families house. I feel like I can’t be me!

Sooo a co worker and I started hooking up both of us married, we had been texting for a few years before hand. She has 3 kids and I have none. Once I realised the way i felt for her I filed for divorce. It's been 3 months and her husband is super sus but I'm just getting less to make him less sus 🤨 I kinda just want him to find out already. Every time I sorta say it's unfair and I feel like some side bitch and how do I even know you plan to leave him at all, she gets the shits and says she won't be made to feel guilty and other times its you forget that I have 3 kids and it's like I don't if you file for divorce you'll get more than half...I don't get it ....just feel used 😪

Some people meet by chance. Others, by choice. But then there are the rare few—the ones who meet because the universe refuses to let them be apart. The ones whose paths cross not by coincidence, but by design.

That’s what meeting him felt like. It wasn’t just attraction. It wasn’t just luck. It was as if something bigger than us was shifting the timeline, bending reality, moving the pieces into place until there was no possible way we wouldn’t find each other.

We met on a study abroad trip our university hosted, though fate had already placed us in each other’s orbit long before that. For an entire year, we unknowingly lived in the same dorm building—passing through the same halls, breathing the same air, but never once crossing paths. Not until the universe made sure we did.

It was the second night of the trip. I was running late to our group dinner and, because of it, I couldn’t sit with my friends. Instead, I took the only open seat left—and when I looked up, I locked eyes with the most captivating man I had ever seen.

That night, we talked endlessly. After dinner, we wandered into a hole-in-the-wall bar with a few others from the group. I was 19 and inexperienced with drinking, so I ordered a tequila sunrise—solely because the name sounded cool. I took one sip and instantly regretted it, discovering that I absolutely loathed tequila. Without hesitation, he offered me his drink—a Sex on the Beach—and took my tequila sunrise instead.

The weird part? He hates sweet drinks. In the ten years we’ve been together since, I don’t think I’ve ever seen him order one again. To this day, neither of us can explain why he ordered that drink in the first place. It was as if something—fate, the universe, something bigger than us—was already in motion, pulling us toward each other in ways we couldn’t yet understand.

From that night forward, everything moved fast. Undeniable chemistry, a gravitational pull too strong to ignore. By day four, we had already slept together. I had always tried to set "rules" for myself—don’t sleep with someone until X amount of time has passed!—but with him, resisting felt unnatural. Like fighting gravity.

He graduated two years before I did, and for a while, we lived in that strange in-between—not quite together, not quite apart. We were three hours away from each other, close enough to make the drive, but far enough that every goodbye felt like a small heartbreak. We made it work—seeing each other once a month, counting down the days until the next visit. Almost everyone around us doubted it. "You’re young!" "You’re in college—this is the time to be free and have fun!" Which, I can only assume, meant going to bars, having meaningless hookups, and pretending love was something temporary.

But that was never us. Because even when we were apart, we never really felt distant. And even if the world told us we should be out chasing distractions, we already knew we had found something that couldn’t be replaced.

Finally, in 2017, I graduated, and we moved in together. No more long drives. No more counting the days. Just us, finally closing the space that had never really existed between us to begin with.

We got engaged at a concert in 2019—completely spontaneous, completely unplanned, and absolutely perfect. He had already bought the ring but hadn’t decided when or how to propose. In the end, he didn’t need a plan. He just followed his raw, in-the-moment feelings, which was so much more powerful than any elaborate setup ever could have been.

Since he didn’t have the ring at the concert, he formally proposed at home later that night—getting down on one knee while Alley-Oop by Big Wild played on our speaker. That detail seemed small at the time, but we had no idea how much that song would come to shape our story.

I was never someone who dreamed about my wedding day. To me, something as sacred as vows shouldn’t be said in front of a crowd, and I could never justify spending an obscene amount of money on a single event when it could go toward travel, adventure, and experiences instead. So, we never really cared to plan a wedding—until one day in the spring of 2022, when he casually turned to me and said, “Hey, want to elope next month?” Of course, I said yes.

We got our marriage license and set a date just ten days later. Everything was falling into place effortlessly. Then, five days before our elopement, I almost lost him.

Serotonin syndrome—caused by two medications that should have never, ever been prescribed together. I found him on our kitchen floor, convulsing, his body temperature spiking to a lethal 108 degrees. The hospital later told us that if I hadn’t been home, he wouldn’t have survived.

When he came home from the hospital, still weak, he grabbed the marriage certificate and said, "Let’s sign it now. I can’t imagine dying without being married to you." So we did. In our state, you can legally marry yourselves—no witnesses, no officiant, just a signature and a promise. We still went through with our elopement in the mountains five days later, exchanging vows, rings, and forever. It was perfect.

Summer 2022. Big Wild concert. It had been years since his spontaneous proposal, but when Alley-Oop started playing, it hit like a tidal wave. I had no idea what the setlist would be that night, and I wasn’t expecting it to be played. But when the song dropped, I collapsed to my knees in tears. It felt like the universe was speaking to us again.

That night, we came home and made another decision—one just as life-changing as the last. We decided to stop contraception and try for a baby.

Pregnancy didn’t come easily. Despite having every classic symptom of PCOS, doctors dismissed me. “You’re fit, you don’t look like a man!” they said, as if that somehow invalidated my body’s struggles. Eventually, I found a doctor who actually listened. The diagnosis was PCOS with a blocked fallopian tube. He recommended medicated cycles with letrozole, and on the very first round, I got pregnant.

For a brief moment, we thought we had our miracle. But then, just as fast as it came, it was gone. A loss so profound, so devastating, it almost broke me. Still, we didn’t give up hope. On New Year’s Eve 2023, on our third round of letrozole, I conceived again. This time, she stayed.

For the most part, my pregnancy was easy—no morning sickness, no complications. I stayed active, I felt strong. But the most magical part? The way she responded to his voice.

Every single time he said her name, touched my belly, or spoke to her, she would kick. Every. Single. Time. It was like she already knew him, already felt safe with him, already recognized his voice as home.

Then, in mid-August 2024, at 34 weeks pregnant, we had tickets to see Big Wild again. The concert. The one that had unknowingly shaped so many milestones in our story. I woke up that morning feeling awful—sore, irritable, exhausted, in pain. But unless this baby was literally crowning, there was no way in hell I was missing this show. The sentimental weight of it was too strong. I powered through. The concert was incredible. And once again, Alley-Oop was performed , and again, I broke down sobbing over how full circle it all felt.

What I didn’t realize? It was about to become even more full circle than I ever could have imagined. We got home late, collapsed into bed, and fell asleep for maybe 10 minutes before—POP. A massive pressure shift in my body, followed by a gush of water. Oh fuck. That wasn’t just third-trimester soreness.

We rushed to the hospital, where the intensity of it all escalated quickly. An unplanned C-section because she was breech. A baby coming too soon. A moment where everything felt out of my control.

But somehow, despite her early arrival, despite the fear, despite every unknown variable—we were so lucky. She avoided the NICU. She was small but strong. And in those first overwhelming, sleep-deprived days, when we were suddenly parents with no family around for help, we had only each other to lean on.

It wasn’t perfect. There were tense moments, exhaustion-fueled arguments, waves of emotion neither of us were fully prepared for. But we pulled through—not because it was easy, but because we were never going to do anything but pull through.

Now, five months into this wild new reality, everything is so much more fun. The sleepless nights have faded (she is an angel who sleeps 12hrs straight!), the anxiety has lessened, and what’s left is something incredible—this tiny human who somehow fits so seamlessly into our world, like she was always meant to be here. She’s eccentric and weird, just like us. The kind of baby who makes expressions that have us actually in tears laughing, who reacts to the world with the same chaotic energy we always have. She’s already obsessed with her dad—just like I am.

The way she looks at him? I swear she’s already picked up on what I’ve always known—that he’s something rare, something extraordinary, something to never, ever let go of.

And somehow, through all the chaos, all the changes, all the exhaustion and adjustments—I look at him, I look at her, and I realize something I never could have understood before. This is love in its most expansive form.

Honestly, I think the universe knew what it was doing when it gave me fertility issues—because if it hadn’t, I would have had 50 of his babies by now, happily and without hesitation.

As far as our relationship and sex life post partum- everything I ever heard about love and intimacy after having a baby was negative. People told me that passion fades, that exhaustion takes over, that physical connection becomes an afterthought. I even heard “just wait, you’ll hate your husband post partum!” or “You’ll be lucky to have sex once a month!”

Well, the opposite happened.

To be fair, our sexual chemistry has always been insane. From the very start, it’s been constant, overwhelming, nearly impossible to go more than a couple of days without. Even years into our relationship, marriage, and now parenthood, we’ve never been a “once-a-week” couple—we’re talking several times a week, minimum.

But somehow—somehow—it keeps getting better. We joked the other night about how I always tell him it’s the best sex ever, but how can it just keep leveling up? If the first few years were heroin, then post-marriage it became fentanyl —dangerously addictive, something I needed rather than just wanted. Sex now is straight up carfentanil—deadly, lethal, like I’m spiritually obliterated and somehow reborn every time.

Somehow, in ways I can’t fully explain, our love—our attraction, our intimacy, our connection—became something completely unrecognizable in the best way possible. It’s like my entire perception of attraction has changed. I used to be someone who hated body odor. Now? I swear I want to ban showers and deodorant altogether. His scent is addictive in a way I cannot explain, like my body instinctively recognizes him as mine, down to a biological level.

It’s not just that the sex is better. It’s that it’s no longer just sex. It’s something cosmic, something so deeply woven into my body and soul that half the time, I end up crying after because the intensity is too much to hold inside. It breaks me, and then it puts me back together.

And it’s not just physical. He can touch me in the most innocent, nonsexual way, and my entire body responds. A hand on my face. Fingers in my hair. His breath against my skin. It’s like my body doesn’t even need permission—it just knows that it belongs to him.

I can’t explain why this happened. Maybe it’s because giving life to our child made me see him in an entirely new dimension. Maybe it’s because the love I already had for him expanded beyond what I thought was humanly possible. Or maybe it’s because we were always meant to be this—but it took time, growth, and everything we’ve built together to fully unlock it.

All I know is that, somehow, instead of losing ourselves in the chaos of parenthood, we found each other again. And what we have now? It shouldn’t even be possible. But it is. And I can’t imagine ever existing without it again.

Some people find love. Others build it. But us? I think we were created for this. Every twist of fate, every full-circle moment, every impossible connection—it all led here. And no matter how many lifetimes, how many universes, how many realities exist, I know one thing for certain: I will always find him. And I will always choose him. Again and again. Forever. Being his wife is truly the biggest honor of my life.

I struggle with severe self doubt and I’m trying to come to terms with inclination towards ending my marriage.

Some major points: • He supported me through my PhD • I never really felt like his wife and I have mostly just felt like his close friend or family • I haven’t felt happy throughout our marriage because I am the one who took most of the initiative and led the both of us through life • I haven’t been attracted to him for awhile and sex with him makes me feel gross • He cries every time I softly present a problem to him about our marriage
• He betrayed me while I was recovering from fertility related surgery and dismissed my feelings about it • He is now fighting for us and doing the best he can (this is guilt inducing) • He is a nice person • I can’t handle speaking to him for longer than ~20 min. I feel terrible for that

I am 32 years old and scared of my life changing so I also want to be 10000% sure that I’m making the correct decision. The correct decision for me means confirming that there’s 0 chance or reviving the marriage.

Do you think a marriage can be revived if it has reached this point?

I recently posted something in Christian marriage, and it was removed by the gate keepers. There have always been gatekeepers in Christianity many of the rules written were by third century monks, who even castrated themselves because they thought that they arousal was of the devil and was causing them to sin. I think what their body was saying is find a woman get married and have lots of sex. They then proceeded to write rules directed towards our God made instincts. The attractiveness of women to men and the urge to find someone that they would marry, and have intimate relationship. Relationships is very strong, but these monks wrote some rules and one of them was "LUST is one of the seven deadly sins". Unfortunately, Christianity has continued to follow man-made rules, which were really rampant during the 90s in the name of purity. This taught girls that boys were monsters and all they wanted to do was get them in bed. I know some beautiful Christian women, now in their 60s, that embraced this hook line and sinker, never got married, and continue to treat relationships with fear and distain. I believe that God gave us this powerful sexual desire, so that we would meet the love of our life and have sex our entire marriage. Again, as a Christian being married over 40 years, I can expect sex two or three times per week. To unmarried non-Christians I would ask How often do you? I am only a lay person, but recently have been very compelled to preach the good news that young men and women need to fall in love, get married, be faithful to one another, and have lots and lots of intimate relations. I believe a young man's greatest desire is to find a woman he can love that will be faithful and intimate with him. The three things that destroy marriage are pornography, masturbation, and adultery, Christian or not. I overcame PMO a few years ago and can say that after decades of marriage it's the best thing I've ever done. Instead of secretly going off alone and fear of being found out, I now can speak openly about sex and it's almost as good as being "born again". I am compelled to help married couples, especially after seeing some of our very close friends marriages destroyed. While most people suggest seeing some high paid therapist or counselor, I offered my assistance and encouragement, free of charge and treat it like my ministry.

Just looking for perspective. When we were at dinner ordering i got very second hand embarrassment from my spouse. Like sick to my stomach, not wanting to be around embarrasment. For context, money is no issue in our home (however, we are frugal and choose to spend wisely). We were at Applebee's and my partner was ordering and saying things like ugh this 2 for 20 is like 2 for $200 now (really $32.00). Why are all these side dishes upcharges now? This is ridiculous. And those kinds of sentences over and over. The server was super nice and I just wanted to enjoy the outing with our little kids. Am I over reacting? I just don't think the server needs to hear that crap.

I'm frustrated that my husband consistently withholds his truck from me when I need it. He has a 2018 Ford 150. He bought it brand new and has since completely paid it off. It's the nicest vehicle he's owned, but he does have 3 motorcycles that at are at least triple the cost of the vehicle.

Anyways, we have the same insurance and it covers the person not the vehicle. It's moderate coverage. I work at a treatment facility and will be there from 11 AM-1130 PM today. It is snowing at our home and the streets are covered. I'm worried that I am going to stuck in my minivan 45 minutes away from our home in the middle of the night. He says he'll "pack up the kids and come get me if that happens".

I've never been in an accident, I grew up driving in the snow since my family likes to go skiing. I got my permit at 15 and my drivers license at 16. Basically I am an excellent driver. I dont understand this, and all I can think is deep down he really doesn't trust me. Its putting me in danger to drive a non snow vehicle in the snow. I dont want to call out and leave my patients without support.

I've drove my Chrysler minivan in the snow before and got stuck. It doesn't do well. Probably does the worst out of every vehicle I've ever had.

Anyways any husband's want to explain this to me from a man's lense?

my husband had a fight with his mom because she said something bad about me and his father blocked him because he yelled at her and it's been a week since his mom talked to him I tried to reach out for her once but she didn't pick up the phone, I also sent a picture to his father but he didn't respond. Do I have to call them again ? I'm lost and I don't know what's the right thing to do...

I just can’t understand 90 percent of the posts I read on here!that being said if you think your going bald you probably are and if you think your wife or husband is cheating on you he probably is! That being said there is your advice 🤔

Hi! I kind of messed up because I married my partner hastily since I’m pregnant ie., we didn’t have time to talk finances etc. I earn a good salary (225k/year) as I’m an attorney but I have a lot of student loans (110k). He claims he makes about the same running a small business (not sure though - have never seen proof). Anyway, he also claims he has millions in assets, he’s 39 I’m 27.. overall, given my debt and the fact that I’m now pregnant, it doesn’t seem equitable to continue to do 50/50. Am I in the wrong here? I’d rather be able to save for baby and aggressively pay off my debt than worry about 50/50. I also think pregnancy is all me and I’ve been struggling a lot, so he should pick up the finances more than he does.

He thinks I’m entitled for this. Thoughts? Just really confused on what to do. He demands we do it 50/50 given my income and is inflexible about it.

EDIT/ should add that I live in one of the most expensive cities in the US. His family is all here so he insists we stay.

EDIT/ I feel like I’m getting roasted but abortion is very much something I’m thinking about. I know I made an awful mistake. Before we lived together, he paid for his apt alone ($5k). His parents have multiple multi million dollar homes and family businesses, so I know that he has family money at the very least. I don’t think he’s lying about his finances, he just hasn’t shown me the full picture but the way he lives (except when it comes to splitting) suggests he’s good.

A Marriage of Disillusionment

Two years ago, I married a man I thought I could build a future with. I was 23, and he was 26. In the beginning, we were happy, but not entirely comfortable—we lived with his parents, which made things difficult. His father, in particular, was unbearable, constantly criticizing me for not cleaning the house enough or not taking care of his son the way he expected.

Before we got married, my husband had assured me that he had a degree and that we would both continue our studies in Canada. That dream was a major reason why I agreed to marry him. However, as time passed, I realized that he didn’t have the financial means to make that plan a reality. Eventually, I took matters into my own hands, applied as the principal applicant for immigration to Canada, and successfully received a nomination. Now, I am the one bringing him along.

Recently, he promised to pay $15,000 for my studies, but I don’t trust him. I fear that if I remove him from the Express Entry application, he might react negatively, yet I also feel like I’m wasting my time with him. Unlike me, he has no real ambition—he wakes up at 2 PM, spends his day playing video games, eats out frequently, and sleeps at 3 AM. His life revolves around gaming and restaurants.

To be fair, he treats me well, but when it comes to finances, he is unreliable. He refuses to spend on anything expensive or important but never hesitates to pay for food and dining out. Now, I find myself wondering: do I really need him? I have the funds, the opportunities, and the ability to build a life on my own. Maybe it’s time to move forward—alone.