I don't how to deal with this. I feel like such an asshole which is why I am posting from an anonymous account.

From most metrics, I am doing pretty okay. I am in my mid 30s and am comfortably in the top 10 percentile of income earners, have a good friends, good health and most importantly married to a good woman for 5 years (together 7 yrs in total). However, i have been feeling pretty frustrated in my life even though i should be pretty happy.

My wife's a good human being and also fairly attractive woman. I am very happy having her in my life. However, The sex is kind of meh. I have tried talking to her about having sex more often and doing things differently in the bedroom many many times and while it's improved things a little, our sex life feels kind of mechanical now. She is very passive in how she approaches sex. She very rarely if ever initiates sex and she would be totally okay I think if we went a month with out sex. I have talked to her many times (sometimes resulting in fights) about not having sex often enough. I think before a year ago, we were averaging maybe once a month (maybe less) for 2 years. Now we average maybe once or twice a week. But most importantly, it just feels like if I am not the one who pushes for it, it's not a priority for her.

For context, we don't have kids and I go to the gym regularly so am in decent shape. I also make a lot of effort to ensure that she cums every single time we have sex. But despite communicating my feelings, I don't feel like I am getting enough from her in the bedroom.

I hear 1-2 times a week is average for most couples and my wife works so ofcourse she feels tried many days but I just feel that it's not enough for me. And when we do have sex, it's not the best. And I feel incredibly frustrated because of it. Am i wrong to feel this way? My eye is increasingly beginning to wander and I never though of myself as a cheater but I just don't know how to stop feeling this way.

I feel like I am either 1) going crazy or 2) being gaslit.

My husband and I work for the same company. We have a mutual colleague who we were both "friends" with. But then I started to get weird flirtatious vibes from them. I brought this up to him with all the specific things I noticed and said people will start to notice and talk. When I did, he said he realized I was right and he set boundaries with her.

But then, I heard some rumors that they were having an affair.

I contacted a friend from HR but I told him off the record and asked for his advice - he said "I'll call you back" he called me back and said "I found the rumors to be not substantive" and I asked "what does that mean?" He said "there's no evidence to support there is an affair" and I clarified "but are there rumors?" He said "yes" I asked "how far have these rumors spread?" He said "not far. These are low level rumors that can addressed from the management level."

My husband was pissed at me for contacting HR (like pissed, saying I ruined everything and this isn't an HR issue). I asked him how it's not, when multiple staff members are talking about it? He talked to the friend from HR, then told me that the friend told him there are no rumors. But I know I heard the conversation correctly.

I confronted this woman. My husband and this woman keep telling me "there's no evidence that this rumor exists. I haven't heard of anything" Is 3 staff members telling me what they heard and in detail what is being said and who's saying it not evidence? Am I just crazy? Am I just hearing things? Am I making things up in my head?

I don't know? But for me, if I heard someone was having an affair, I wouldn't go up to them and ask "hey are you having an affair?" I wouldn't say anything at all. But as far as the people who mentioned it so me, it was kind of a "hey ---checking in with you to make sure you're okay"

The first person, I was crying one day door shut in my office. I got a call, he poked his head in to get me and I said "I'm fine. I just need a minute." Then I started crying some more and he said "hey. We have your back. And just so you know, you were very professional towards her this morning" And that's when I said "what? Who are you talking about?" And that's when it came out.

Second person told me "I thought the day you were crying, you had found out." So I asked "found out what?" And I said "tell me. Found out what? What are they saying about me?" And he said "your husband and _______" and I said "what about my husband and _______?" And he said "everyone is saying they are having an affair" so I asked him "who is everyone? Why are they saying it? What are they saying?" He told me when the rumors started, and it was BEFORE I even brought it up to my husband that I think their interactions are inappropriate.

Then he told me "well, _____ knows. She said to me "you are so strong for how she's handling this"

The 3rd person said "I'm just concerned about you. I like you. You work hard. You are kind." And I asked her straight up "what's going on? I'm walking around like a fool while everyone is talking about me." And she was hesitant but then told me "the rumor is your husband and _______ are hooking up" and I started crying. And I asked "why are people saying this? What are they saying?" Then she started giving me specifics. And what she has observed.

My husband and the woman are telling me all those observations are completely wrong. They are inaccurate.

My husband got upset with me because he said I shouldn't have asked. That I'm in a leadership position and I engaged in a conversation with subordinates about rumors and that's inappropriate and not okay. Was I wrong for asking and wanting to know? Was I wrong for crying? I now don't feel like I'm fit for this position and I'm strongly considering stepping down.

I feel completely crazy and don't know what's real and what's not.

For the past, I don't know, 3 years I've asked my husband nicely, pleaded, told, and finally now gave an ultimatum for him to get his sleep apnea addressed. I'm an insomniac as it is and have been for a very long time, but then adding to the frustration of me trying to sleep, I'm laying there pissed off now because I have to listen to his super loud snoring, and worrying about him not breathing. It's a mild case, so while he does stop, it's not typically longer than 3-5 seconds.

The ultimatum I gave was that until he made an appointment with a sleep specialist, I was going to sleep on the couch, then I get to sleep easier, and I'm not waking him up trying to get him to lay on his side (he's a back sleeper on top of it). He's always complaining about how he never feels like he's getting enough sleep, even though he can fall asleep like right away. It's like he's purposely just not caring to treat it

So after I gave this ultimatum, it blew up into him yelling at me that he's stressed at his job, and I'm not supporting him, and he doesn't have the bandwidth to deal with this on top of all of that. The accusation that I don't support him isn't true and I think after arguing back and forth he started realizing it a bit, but ultimately it turned back into how this isn't fair that I'm doing this and it's manipulation. But then how is it fair that I've been asking, even before his job ramped up, to get this looked in to but he hasn't.

He's now decided to take his half of our split king bed and go sleep in the basement, instead of just switching off who sleeps on the couch or the bed because I didn't think that'd be fair if one of us just took the bed all the time.

I think I just put a huge wedge in our marriage, did I fuck up?

Husband and I (both in our early 30's) have been together 4 years now. For the most part he's great. Supports me, 50/50 household chores, picks up the slack when I have nothing in my tank and vice versa. He's started a new landscaping business about 1.5 years ago and it's going well. He's been completely inundated with work and has had to expand a bit so overheads are quite high and he's not paying himself properly.

I work FT office/home hybrid and make a good amount of money. I've fully paid for our 1 year anniversay holiday early next year (several k) and will be taking over the entire mortgage payment for the next couple of months while his business brings in better cash flow. I'm happy to do this because he's done the same for me before when I was in between jobs.

But good lord he comes home in the foulest of moods sometimes. He told me I'm too controlling because I make him 'fold the laundry' or ask him to do one thing or another. Ok I get it, give him some space when he comes home before I ask for anything. But he tells me he's so exhausted that he doesn't want to do anything. He prefers to clean the kitchen etc in the morning before work but this isn't consistent as he's running late sometimes. He made it clear when it all came to a few days ago where we had just the biggest fight (and he almost moved out) that if I wanted things done to do them myself or wait for him to do it in his time. But like... he goes to the gym and I don't get how one can have gym (specifically gymnastics) energy but not fold laundry energy.

For context, the fight started when he made a supposedly inadvertent sexist comment (I don't think he is though as he has a lot of female role models and goes out of his way to work with women because they're easier to work with or so he says) and I tried to educate him as to why that was wrong. He apologised and said he wouldn't do it again but like... it's been a tough week to be a woman and I wasn't going to let go so easily. I may have pushed by trying to explain why what he said was wrong and he ended up just losing it and yelling at me to stop.

We talked it out and spent several hours getting to the core of our issue, where he's promised he's going to seek professional help for stress management. Awesome.

Still a little sore from all the recent fighting (and here is where I need objective opinions) - he bought me a giant bag of Twix bars as a treat. When he gave them to me he said "don't go overboard with these". Oh man. I've had weight issues all my life and was subjected to my mum saying stuff like that all the time growing up, and he knows this. I'm actively working on my health and have been doing so well, I've lost so much weight and can almost outlift my PT. But I still have a long way to go. This comment hurt, it made me feel like a child. I'm starting to grow quite resentful again. No one told me marriage was going to be this hard.

tldr; husband is busy and stressed with working, comes home in a bad mood and is mad when I ask him to do chores he prefers to do mornings or weekends. Been fighting a lot and today he told me to not go overboard with a bag of choc he bought me. Now I'm upset and resentful. If at all useful info we are both neurospicy.

Thoughts?

I accidentally saw a text from a woman I never met and didn't know my husband was friends with. He had just gotten home from work.
her: "are you heading home?" him: "yes" her: "ok babe" When I confronted him about it, the conversation had disappeared. It turns out that it was a Signal text and was set to automatically delete after 3 minutes. He said he has several people on Signal on auto delete. He also said she might call him babe because he calls her sweetie. It's true that he calls everyone sweetie. But I call him babe and it feels like a nickname that you only call someone you have been intimate with. I feel like i don't know the whole truth but I also don't think he is lying to me. I'm not comfortable interrogating because i had it done to me in my 1st marriage and i swore i would never live that way again. We've been married for over 30 years and are very close. I do not want a divorce and neither does he. But I trusted him completely and the loss of trust is what I am grieving. He willingly went to couples counseling with me and her answer was that nobody gets to call him "babe" but me ... which is just fn ridiculous. She didn't understand at all. So now I'm seeing a therapist on my own to get through the grieving process. But i would very much like any shared advice, experiences, etc. Thank you.

Back story, me and my wife are happily marred been together for 6 years, joined the military in away for training

Before questions are asked I’m loyal wouldn’t do anything to ruin my marriage

Me and my wife are both 24

Tonight I went out drinking with some of my buddies and one of the ladies that were there that I kinda know, ( I have seen and said hi and went on my day), asked me if my wife were in a open relationship

Ummm I don’t really now how I should take this, before this we were at a table and got to talking about everyone before joining and I showed a picture of me and my wife together

Just kinda confused, do I just keep it to myself and move on, do I tell my wife?

I won’t lie, it’s nice I guess getting “hit on” but don’t know how I should take it.

My husband and I have been together for almost 20 years. I have non-stop health issues. I'm always in pain 24/7. I barely function in my day to day. I think about ending it a lot. (Yes I'm in therapy)

My husband has been patient and understanding for a long time that I never want to be sexual, but it's worn out. He's frustrated and feels unloved. When he makes advances they're getting more and more aggressive and what I would call depraved. When I turn him down it always ends with him lecturing me about not trying and how it won't magically get better.

I love him so much and I feel lost. I'm thinking about having a talk with him about taking sex off the table and seeing what he wants to do. If he needs to have a sexual relationship outside of me, fine, but I'd worry about it becoming romantic and losing him. When I suffer through it I wind up in worse pain than before and he doesn't even enjoy it (and often stops) because he "can't be turned on if I'm not turned on"

I feel like this is just an awful situation and there won't be a pleasant solution.

(This is just a summary)

I lost my mom last year and I just found out that just 6 months after her death, my dad started seeing someone else. He took the woman to my mom's house and slept in my late mom's death with this new woman on my mom's one year remembrance. When I found out I was furious,hurt and angry. So, I told my husband what happened since he's like my best friend and confidant.

Now, I just found out my husband went on to share what I told him with his mom, brother and sister, which I felt he had no right to do. I let him know I'm pissed off and not okay with what he did but he was like why am I pissed he told his mom, it's not a big deal. I let him know it's a big deal to me because it's like he's airing my own family laundry to everyone. And all he said is "Ok, sorry".

Before I became aware that he has told his family, my Aunt (mom's sister) said I shouldn't have told him. Now, I feel like she's right.

Do you think I overreacted? I want to know, because it's not the first time he'll share things that should remain between us with his friend and family.

TL;DR: Husband shared a painful family issue with his family, despite me wanting it to stay between us. It’s not the first time he's done this, and I’m struggling with feeling betrayed. I want to know if I overreacted, and looking for advice on how to handle this and communicate my boundaries.

M(50) and my wife F(50). We just got back from a great night out. We went out with other couples went to a festival. Had a GREAT time6. I didn’t fuck up, at least I am pretty sure I didn’t. We get home, talk to the awake kids, they are 1/2 asleep, I am preparing everything for a late night. No ask, no tell, just doing. And then I get hit with “what do you think you’re doing?”.

You haven’t prepared me enough. You have not done “—-“ this enough. I honestly don’t know what else I could have done.

Is there more to this? 100%. Am I venting yep.

I simply do not know what I could have done to make her happy.

Okay… so, I don’t know how I’m going to get this out or what my question even is yet. I guess I just feel like I’m going crazy and I need to type this. My partner and I have been together nearly 7 years. I’m 25 F and he is 28 M. I think I’ve begun to explain away abuse. I think I may even be convincing myself he is not abusive. How can somebody so generally kind whom I hold dear to me want to abuse me? Please be patient if I have typos. I cannot edit on my app unfortunately.

I have a problem with seeing the best in people. I told on my dad as a child for drug induced neglect among other things and I only felt broken hearted for his time in prison. I felt the same when my step brother and biological brother were sexually inappropriate and abusive towards me and other family members, however they did no time. Anyways… I have a really big heart towards him. I see his sweet gentle and loving side and I adore him. He’s crossed the line with me.

He slapped me in the face while I was driving. He was saying terrible awful things to me and I lost me cool and slapped his arm first, so he slapped my face. Told me if I didn’t shut the f up next time it would be his closed fist. He’s since apologized sincerely I feel.

He’s told me that if I left him with our daughters he’d send my teeth back in a bag to me.

He once told me he’d have somebody come kidnap me and remove me from our home in their trunk if I didn’t leave him alone.

He’s grabbed me by my hair and held me by throat. (I wanted to see his texts after returning home @ 4 am from a female coworkers bonfire). I had just told him if he hit me like he threatened that I’d leave with our daughters. He let go and said he could never actually hurt me.

The other day (this is partly why I’m making this) he told me that he needs to start slapping me around in front of my family so that I know who’s in control. He said I’m going to see a new side of him and that I’ve messed up letting him get this close because he’s going to show me the real him. That he wouldn’t listen if I asked him to stop. That he’s caused enough emotional trauma to me that I’ve been psychologically damaged enough to not leave him for it. He later said that how could I not tell he was joking? That he was only pretending to be dark. Like the documentaries we’ve been watching. Seemed eerie to me.

One time he told me to shut up and stop whining while we were on a road trip so I told him to meet my at the next location in him vehicle because I didn’t want to drive close to him anymore. He called me and told me he put my moms dogs out on the freeway. I drove back and he had them in the van. He laughed. I called him insane.

I put on a smile everyday and I act like I’m okay. He blames me for our financial struggles. Says I’m the reason he holds all of our money in his account.

The other day when he suspected I’d leave him he told me that if he couldn’t have me nobody could. Asked me if I wanted to take a road trip to the Grand Canyon because … for some reason he jokes about pushing me off a cliff one day. I suppose he thinks I should assume he’s joking.

I guess … even though I know all of this has happened, since it’s happened over the span of years and since there’s are so many good and normal moments in between, I’ve began to normalize. I feel numb to it. I feel paralyzed in my life like I can’t budge. I cannot get to courage to walk away. I guess he’s right … I have lost to power to feel like I can walk away because of what he’s done. Everyone describes me as so soft spoken and sweet. Kind to everyone, won’t even kill a bug. Why has this happened to me?

Tl;dr: I’m looking for help and I just need somebody to hear my thoughts because I cannot tell anybody in my real life because they’re too tied to me. I want to hear from people who have been through this before. I’m looking for encouragement and empowerment.

Its a different kind of love, but your supposed to love the kids more than your husband.

WHY DONT PEOPLE UNDERSTAND A WOMAN CANT LOVE HER HUSBAND WHEN THE BABY IS BORN BECAUSE THE HORMONES MAKE HER LOVE THE KIDS MORE THAN THE HUSBAND?

Why are marriage counselors still telling me I am supposed to my husband more without neglecting the kids because its the foundation of our family?

ISNT WHAT THEY SAY NONSENSE BECAUSE WHEN THE CHILD IS BORN THE HORMONE MAKES YOU LOVE THE BABY MORE. WHY DO PEOPLE THINK I AM WRONG?

THERE IS SOMETHING CALLED HORMONES. LOVE YOUR KIDS MORE THAN THE HUSBAND

Male (35) I have been married for 3 years and have a beautiful 2 year old daughter and love her to death. My wife(29) is a pain in the ass tho. When we dated everything was fine it was once my daughter was born that things changed. We don’t get along on any level anymore and we can’t communicated to save our lives. I enjoy being around people friend family with my wife and daughter but my wife hates having anyone around and talk smack about anyone who calls are invites us anywhere. She has a reason for why whatever the occasion is is bad for the or daughter and that by not going attending whatever is the best decision for her. I think it’s all lies for her to get her way and she usually always does. I work from home remote full time and watch our daughter full time and I even work at night to stay ahead. My wife works in office and watches our daughter when she’s off and at night but I never feel appreciated. I’m treated like a stay at home dad with no job. I haven’t lost attraction to my wife but her attitude and way of beings gets under my skin so much that we aren’t physical with eachother. She complains about everything and anything and she does it in a way that she pretends to be talking to our daughter but really it’s just so themat I hear it and I respond with a reaction. It doesn’t matter how hard I work there’s always a complaint and never appreciation. I don’t feel respected or listen too. I want to divorce my wife because I can understand how she can complain so mush about me but yet when I’m out at the gym or visiting my parent she’s constantly callinng for me to come back home. But once I’m home she just ignores me and sleeps on the coach until it’s late and then she sneaks off into our bed room. She never listen to me or hears me out or asks about my interest she only act nice when she wants to spend money on herself. I want to leave her but I don’t want my daughter to not have her parents under the same roof. I see how happy she is to have us together and it splits me in 2 to think she wouldn’t have us together some day. Or if we ever did and we remarried. My daughter would be the black duck of two new families… I couldn’t let that happen. ( not that people that do are wrong) I just wasn’t brought up that way so I assume. It sucks I can’t even visit friends even once out of the year because my wife thinks it’s stupid. She has no friends so she doesn’t care for it.

Any advise helps

Me: [Setting alarms on the Amazon devices via voice command]

Husband a minute later: [Comes into the bedroom and initiates a mini makeout session] "I heard your voice and I immediately wanted to kiss you."

🥵💖 Oh my GOD y'all! He then proceeds to go back to the other room to resume whatever he was doing.

And then a few ninutes later he comes in and kisses me some more, saying "You were quiet so I wanted to come check on you." ???Sir who gave you the RIGHT to be this good to me

Me. I did. By marrying you lol. Sigh 😍

It's different type of love. We all know. There is one you love more you should love kids more, or both equally. My husband divorced me for this. He wanted me to love him, and he wanted to love while parenting. That's not a good parent.

I am glad woman loving there husbands more than kids is very rare. I hope it doesn't get common.

I guess I just need perspective or some confirmation (or pointing out where I'm wrong) on an issue. I was married for two years out of a 6 year relationship. Just after the second anniversary, we separated. We had been in a dead bedroom situation (<5 times per year) for 4 years and everytime I tried to explain how that made me feel sad and unwanted, it became an argument. Sometimes verging into verbal abuse territory from both sides, but especially me. I recognize that and have been in therapy to deal with this issue for over a year.

We agreed to work toward reconciliation, however, I feel chronically invalided emotionally and have for the majoirty of the relationship. Every time I attempt to explain how and why I feel deeply hurt, I am invalidated with something like "Well, I hear that you feel very hurt. I don't see any of what you're describing in this relationship, but I can tell you are deeply hurt." I used to go 4-5 rounds of that explain/invalidation before exploding verbally, but now I just say that I feel invalidated and that I'm not ok with being treated that way. I'm then tend that I'm not being invalidated which makes me feel crazy and so I exit and do breathing exercises.

I explain that this behavior makes me feel unloved and as if reconciliation is pointless. I basically just get the same "I understand you're upset but..." thing. I've always gotten this from her when it comes to problems in the marriage. I feel like somehow I'm able to function and observe reality in all other parts of my life, but in the marriage, according to my wife, I never seem to be feeling anything in relation to anything that, according to her, actually happens.

I guess, what I'm wondering, am I right to feel like reconcilation is pointless and am I actually being invalidated? It seems like yes to the latter and yes to the former as she seems unwilling to acknowledge anything issues from her end of things.

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Hi everyone, I’m looking for some perspective and reassurance as I prepare to marry my fiancée in a few months. She’s an incredible person, and we have a deep connection, but there are some concerns I’m working through that I want to address with clarity before committing to a lifetime together. I’d love to hear from anyone who’s faced similar issues or who has insights into navigating these complexities.

Concerns I’m Working Through

1. Struggling with her past – I deal with retroactive jealousy, and it’s been a challenge. She had a period of casual relationships, which I know logically isn’t who she is now, but it’s been hard not to compare. Part of me resents that past, knowing that she shared certain experiences more freely before, while now it feels very different, as though there’s a different energy or hesitancy in the way she approaches intimacy with me.
2. Emotional detachment under stress – When we have tough conversations, especially about something I've identified, an issueor we might have, she sometimes becomes emotionally distant or shuts down. I worry this pattern might make it hard for us to truly work through conflicts and challenges over time, as it leaves things unresolved and builds up tension between us.
3. Potential mismatch in sexual expectations – She’s expressed that she has a high libido and specific preferences which don’t entirely align with my experience. It’s an area I’m insecure about, and I’m worried about feeling inadequate or unable to meet her expectations in marriage, especially since intimacy is important to both of us.
4. Fear of abandonment – She’s shared a deep fear of abandonment, which has roots in her past relationships and family history. She often worries that I’ll leave her, which can make her cling to negative scenarios or assume the worst. I try to reassure her, but I’m concerned this fear might create a cycle of anxiety or self-sabotage over time.
5. Sensitivity to perceived criticism – Even with gentle feedback, she sometimes gets defensive or feels judged. It makes it hard to bring up concerns without her taking them personally, which can discourage honest conversations. I worry that over time, I might start holding back on important discussions just to avoid conflict.
6. Tendency toward small white lies or avoidance – She occasionally tells minor white lies or omits details, usually to avoid conflict or protect herself. For example, she recently invited someone to our wedding without initially telling me about their full history. I get that these are minor things, but they feed my insecurity and make it harder to fully trust, especially given my own struggles with jealousy.
7. Her ongoing health challenges – She has some serious health conditions that are worsening, including a scheduled heart valve surgery soon. Her health journey will require emotional and physical support from both of us, and while I’m committed to being there, I’d be lying if I said it doesn’t add stress to the situation.
8. Complex family dynamics – Her relationship with her father has been emotionally damaging, and he continues to affect her negatively. This has led her to struggle with conflict avoidance and self-worth issues. I’m concerned that unresolved family dynamics may impact our relationship, especially in how she handles emotional stress.

What I Appreciate About Her

1. Empathy and thoughtfulness – She’s incredibly caring and constantly shows her love in tangible ways, like cooking for me, buying thoughtful gifts, or just being present. Her empathy and small acts of kindness keep me feeling loved and valued.
2. Emotionally invested in us – She is deeply committed to our relationship, often voicing her desire for a future together and showing concern for our connection. Knowing she’s just as invested as I am is reassuring, especially during harder times.
3. Patient with my insecurities – She’s aware of my struggles with jealousy and has been patient and understanding. I can share my insecurities with her without feeling judged, which has made it easier for me to work on them.
4. Consistent love and affection – She expresses her love through words and actions consistently, which helps me feel secure. This emotional availability has kept us close, even when dealing with difficult topics.
5. Willingness to grow and improve – She’s aware of her sensitivities and is open to working on herself. She’s proactive about addressing her emotional habits, which gives me hope that we can grow and improve together.
6. Strong faith and spirituality – Her faith is a big part of her life and a source of strength. We both lean into this, and it helps us stay grounded and connected during times of stress.
7. She supports my personal growth. She encourages me in my health journey and helps me build my fitness and self-confidence. Her encouragement has been invaluable as I work on myself.
8. Openness to tough conversations – While she may struggle with criticism, she’s still willing to talk through challenging topics. This openness is something I value as it shows her willingness to face difficult issues.

I know these concerns aren’t minor or something to brush off. I’m genuinely committed to her, but I can’t ignore these complexities, especially with marriage around the corner. Part of me worries I’m signing up for challenges that might wear us both down over time, even though I deeply love her and want to make it work.

If you’ve been in a similar place or have insights on navigating some of these dynamics in marriage, I’d really appreciate your thoughts. I want to be realistic about what lies ahead, and any advice would mean a lot. Thanks for reading.

Many marriage experts say that even if you love your spouse and kids equally there's something wrong. They said you could love your husband more than the kids without neglecting them is that true. The also said even tho it's a different type of love there is one that you love more, and that doesn't mean to neglect

Do you agree? Because I think loving your spouse more is bad for the marriage. I think you should either love kids more, or love them equally but never love spouse more

I want to surprise my husband and get a sexy Advent calendar!!

Has anyone gotten one, which ones do you guys like? Thank you!

My husband (28m) and I (26f) have been married for 7 years and we have a 2 yo son together. We took our son to see an orchestra today, and during the intermission I left to use the restroom. When I walked back over to my husband he was snapchatting his drunk ex. I asked to see the messages and he showed me bits and pieces but then turned off his phone. I didn't want to cause a scene for the sake of our son and his love for instrumental, so I brushed it off in the moment. We get home, it's getting late, I forget about it, and continue on with my night. Until I remember and ask him to see the messages. Well, he deleted them then claimed he "accidentally" did it trying to "make sure they were still there for me to see" he's not fucking stupid and knows how Snapchat works. He intentionally deleted that shit. Then come to find out they've been chatting all day for at least a month, he's had her notifications on silent, and she just split with her boyfriend. She lives in another country and he says " it's just friends" but he's been hiding it. It's been going on for a month and I'm just now finding out about it. He then tried to flip the narrative by saying "I can talk to whoever I want and I wouldn't give a rats ass if you cheated on me" This isn't the first time he's been shady and I've been suspicious, I just need to know that I'm not crazy for wanting to leave over this. I'm highly emotional, this is fresh. I'm. So. Tired.

I'm looking for some perspective on a situation with my husband. We’ve been together for a while, and I genuinely enjoy the intimacy we share. If it were up to me, I'd love for us to be intimate every other day, but my husband often turns me down. His reasoning? He thinks having sex that often will “kill the charm” and make it feel routine – like eating the same meal over and over until you stop tasting it.

I get where he’s coming from on one level, and I don’t want him to feel pressured, but it’s starting to make me feel a bit frustrated and even rejected. For me, it’s less about the frequency itself and more about the feeling of closeness and connection. It’s something I look forward to, and it feels like a special way for us to bond.

We've tried talking about it, but we keep hitting a wall. He’s set on the idea that spacing it out will make each time more special, while I feel like waiting too long makes me feel distant and even a little insecure.

So, I’m curious – has anyone else been through something similar? How did you find a compromise? Any advice on how to communicate this without making him feel like I’m pushing or pressuring him would be really helpful.

Let me explain why its not possible for me to love my husband after childbirth.

THE HORMONES MAKE MOST WOMEN LOVE THE KIDS MORE.

IF YOU WANT YOUR MARRIAGE TO BE PRIORITIZED BY YOUR WIFE DONT HAVE KIDS.

WOMEN WHO DONT WANT KIDS WANT GOOD MARRIAGES WITH HUSBANDS.

YOU CANT FOCUS ON YOUR MARRIAGE AFTER KIDS ARE BORN ITS DISGUSTING

I’m 30 he’s 37. We have a 2 month old. I’ve wanted to have sex the entire pregnancy. He felt uncomfortable and stopped around 6-7 months. I literally try to have sex with him to avoid watch porn and he’d rather finish his online gaming. This is torture. Not looking for advice just needed to vent. Super tired of asking repeatedly for intimacy

I will try to give some background on me first. I'm 54. I have always struggled with relationships. My parents divorced when I was 9. It was very acrimonious to say the least. It remained that way throughout their lives. I at that young age I was handed back and forth between them and acted as the buffer and the conduit by which they communicated. Tell your father this or tell your mother that. It was usually really awful things. I of course would relay the messages in a much less confrontational way to try to maintain the peace. I had an older sister that would verbally eviscerate me on a regular basis. She was very hurt and angry by the divorce I'm sure. This went on for years. Before I understood much about psychology all I knew was that it changed my personality. I now know it caused me to have very low self esteem. I don't think very much of myself to this day. I've been in therapy for a few months now and have learned that. also ADHD and terrible anxiety. My first steps at trying to be okay.

Well I met a girl at age 32. She also 32. We got along well and had similar interests and had fun together. She just graduated after going back to college. got a psych degree. We wanted to get married but struggled to afford a proper ceremony. She had yet to land a job. Well at 34 her parent was diagnosed with a terminal illness and we got married in their home so her parent would be able to be present. It was bad, we had little time. I was apprehensive because of our financial situation. I loved her and agreed. She had gotten a job in research but didn't last long. Over the years she has started many jobs which have not lasted long. the longest being a part time position she did for 4 years. None of the full time jobs lasted a year. most of the time she would quit not long into them. stating they were mean and disrespectful to her. I know at least 3 of them she was let go including the most recent one with her peers being left in tears form confrontation with my wife. One at a university with the Dean losing control and shouting at her when confronting her with issues he had with her. He could never find her and never seemed to be where she was supposed be when she was supposed to.

I have lived under constant financial duress since we have been together. I have no major educational achievements. I barely made it through high school because of the beating I took in a tumultuous home growing up. It took a long time but I make a decent living doing a blue collar job. (long hours - 10 -12 hrs a day) Make about 80K.

This what I'm confused about and I beat myself up about all the time. Her unhappiness and lack of professional success is all my fault. I understand it is difficult to live a life with someone with low self esteem and lack of confidence in myself. It is debilitating for me at times. She has told me my problems emotionally are causing her to turn into a loser like myself. She decimates me about every three days.

You are a loser - your a blue collar redneck- Your too stupid to go to college-your family are are also

redneck losers (i'm actually quite liberal minded and well read despite my lack of education)

why don't you kill yourself so I don't have to look at you any more.

(because of our finances I haven't seen a dentist in years and recently got dentures) nice Frankenstein teeth

if you cause me to lose another job this place will be a blood bath. I'm going to shoot you in the face before I kill myself. told me recently she bought a gun with hollow points and graphically described their advantages.

She has been spending about $1600 a month on cigarettes and weed which is devastating to our budget. It is unsustainable. I have taken loans out to cover our bills and it's killing me with anxiety. If I bring it up rage ensues. Most of our dishes and glasses have been destroyed from throwing them. I've replaced numerous televisions and cell phones that met the same fate. My Dad passed away last year and I had a number of things from him that meant a lot to me. they were destroyed because her uncle passed away on a Saturday and I had to work for 4 hours and couldn't get off work to be with her. I was working it to try to cover her habits. Only had my Dads photo albums left and got beat with a club trying to defend them from her destroying them too. ended up bloody. to this day she says i was the one who was violent towards her that night and was defending herself. I've gotten to where I question reality and my own sanity.

Could I really be the cause of all this because of my negative out look and low self esteem. I avoid conflict in my life at all costs. I hate it because of my childhood experiences and now it's worse than it ever was then. I feel like I'm in hell.

I don't write well I hope it is coherent. thanks in advance.

Throwaway. I just need to put this somewhere because I have no one in my life I can talk to about this. We’ve been married for almost 4 years. Things were good, then we had my son and everything went to shit. Initially I thought maybe I was just feeling the way I was because of hormones, but having a baby just highlighted his faults and downfalls that I just overlooked or dealt with before. Before the baby they weren’t a big deal, but now they really affect me. He keeps telling me that he will make the changes that need to happen and he might for a few days and then things go back to how they were before. I’m so exhausted of waiting. I have little to no respect for him anymore. I get more and more irritated with everything he says and does now. I don’t even want to hug or kiss him anymore. Sometimes I feel like I might regret getting married. Sometimes he sleeps in the other room and it’s nice not having him there. If you were to ask him, he would probably say everything is fine, maybe I’m just a little more irritated sometimes. He has no idea how I really feel and I feel like I can’t tell him because it will hurt him so bad and he will shut down and things will get even worse. I want things to get fixed but no matter how many talks we have, it’s like talking to a brick wall. He doesn’t want to go to therapy either. He doesn’t have bad intentions, most of the time he has good intentions, but he just doesn’t care enough about anything to make any lasting changes. I’ve tried changing but it’s hard when I’m the only one that seems to care enough to do anything.

Very simply. My husband told me he slept with his best friends sister and wishes that her children were his. He said this when he was drunk. He later denied this but Is can not stop thinking that maybe he was telling the truth. I know people can say all sorts of things when they are drunk but I do not know if a husband would say something like this as a mistake He does not deny it was said but said he said this because he was annoyed at me accusing him of being unfaithful and wanted to shut me up. I have always thought their friendship was inappropriate at the time. He no longer speaks with this woman. Will anyone speak such a thing and then deny. Could it be true.

I'm not sure of I respect my husband. I work and he stays home and I wonder if this is making me lose respect for him. I feel like if I lost my job or something he would just sit and wait for me to get another. Probably not fair of me I know. He's adhd and has a huge issue with any kind of rejection. I feel like I always need to reassure him. I tell him I love him and his response is always "why?" And then I need to give him reasons. I really don't know what to do anymore. We have children and I care about him but I'm not sure I'm happy at all.