This is my second Mother’s Day, and I still mostly feel insecure as a mom. My own mother is and was very immature and uninvolved. She did “ok” by my brother and I in that we both did well academically (though could have been much better given some guidance and stability, and if we weren’t surrounded by drugs and alcohol), but I often feel like I am lacking a quintessential seriousness / motherlyness/ sense of responsibility towards my kid. Even my voice sounds like I’m 14, in my mind. I see wealthier mothers with strict schedules, who are extremely on top of how they speak to and around their children, and feel utterly immature around them, like I ooze teenager by comparison. My brain knows this is silly and probably not true, but I’ve found myself emulating these other mothers as I try to figure out what being a responsible mother and good role model is supposed to look like. These other mothers seem to have a formula for ensuring their kids are always clean and busy with some enrichment activity (but seriously how are their kids clothes always so clean and their hair so perfect?! Step 1 for my kid is playing with dirt when they leave the house, and not a chance will she let me clip or tie her hair).

Has anyone else gone through this? I’m 36 and feel like a teenage mom. It doesn’t help that I’m not as financially stable as I thought I’d be at this age (I’m in NYC, where two parents despite making six figures still live check to check due to the high costs of childcare and rent). I keep wondering how to change my life to feel more like an adult, but also just how to embody the archetype of an adult / mother. I sacrifice a lot for my kid, I don’t party, I have a great job and a high level of education. Is it my 10y old skinny jeans and torn purses that I haven’t replaced because I’m trying to save up for preschool supplies? Is it that I have no time to style my hair or put on makeup (or no $ to get haircuts or buy makeup)? Does looking more adult make one feel more adult?

I know it’s not just wealth - I see immigrant families who are struggling way more than I am, they all look more put together than I ever feel I could. How do they find the time? How are they so confident in their motherness? Is it learned from family?

Feeling really lost this Mother’s Day.

My sons got his first loose tooth. It’s gonna come out any time now and we already have the tooth fairy stuff figured out. I’m trying to figure out what to do with the actual tooth once it’s out. What do you all do?

My husband stayed out late with his brother last night getting drunk. I told him all I wanted was to sleep in this morning because I’m always up with 1 of our 6 kids at the butt crack of dawn. Anyway, he went in the living room to get more rest when the baby woke up this morning. It honestly really hurt my feelings. I know he didn’t even plan on doing anything today and I feel dumb even being upset about it. At least I have my kids, I love them so much.

My son spends have the time with me and half the time with the other parent. He has a half sister who is 5.5 years older. He's in Kindergarten and just turned 6.

She has been hitting him more and more. Recently, it's been some body shots with some face shots. They sounded pretty hard, from his description.

No marks or bruises. However, he was really affected by it.

I brought this up with the other parent over email. However, its seems to have gotten worse.

I am asking you, Reddit, am I right in thinking this really isn't okay and is a pretty big deal? I want to protect my son.

I work 45 hours a week and my partner works 65 hours a week. We have two children. With these factors, we hardly have time for ourselves, let alone family and friends, so I was curious: parents, do you have friends?

Hi everyone,

We are transitioning from the bottle to a sippy cup today. (I know we are late for bed time milk)

I hear some people still give milk to their litto ones before bed in a sippy cup when they are three.

And some give water in a sippy cup.

My litto one always wants her milk before bedtime, transitioning her to a sippy cup wouldn’t be hard because she wouldn’t mind. But I know she wouldn’t love drinking water before bed lol.

Can someone help me!

For context, I’m 28 weeks pregnant today, have a 4-year-old, and I’ve been with my husband for 12 years (since our early 20s).

My husband and I have both been dealing with a lot of stress. And he was sick last week which didn’t help. I have a deadline for a big project coming up. Friday night I was so tired I didn’t end up working on it, so we agreed that I’d sleep in on Saturday and he’d sleep in a bit but get up at 9 on Sunday, to make me some waffles for Mother’s Day, which is the main thing I asked for.

Today (Sunday) morning 7:15 comes, and my daughter comes to get me. Often we’ll go downstairs and put on a movie (which is what her dad did yesterday). She wants to play in her room which is right next to ours except for a closet in between. Pretty thin walls.

So we played, except I was mostly cleaning/organizing because it was needed and I guess some nesting urge kicked in. At 7:34 my husband texted me “You're not doing movie? It's loud.” I said sorry she wanted to play in her room, and he replied 🫤. We kept playing/organizing.

He comes in at 9 and is visibly frustrated to see that we were still in her room.

I went and talked to him and he explained how frustrated he was and how inconsiderate he felt it was that I didn’t go downstairs with her, which apparently he makes a point of doing on his weekend mornings with her, so I can sleep. Which is not something I’ve asked him to do.

He went back to sleep and said he’ll make me waffles for lunch if I want.

So now I’m just trying to figure out if I was really that inconsiderate or if he’s expecting me to be a mind reader and/or think exactly the way he does. I’m inclined to the latter and I’m mad and now I don’t know if I even want waffles, which makes me madder. But also I don’t know how much of this is affected by pregnancy hormones. 🤷🏻‍♀️

If I was the inconsiderate one, please tell me. I don’t buy into the “you’re pregnant so you can do no wrong.” Also I have ADHD and I’m off of my meds, so that doesn’t help.

My son is in a kindergarten that has a very “strict” privacy policy, that is, if a birthday is celebrated, it is not allowed to send invitations to the rest of his classmates because there are children of people involved in politics, however, it is possible. send a cake to the kindergarten and they take photos of it and send them to you.

There are 2 moms who managed to break those kindergarten rules and have organized birthday parties for their children, inviting 95% of the classmates, except for my son.

My son has autism and a language delay, but he is not a violent or aggressive child. On the contrary, he is a very loving child and it breaks my heart to see how he is excluded from such a young age (he is 3 years old).

1 of those moms is half an influencer (she has 10k followers), I have thought about writing to her but I don't know if it is a good idea, I have also thought about telling the kindergarten but in the end I know that they will not do anything because they will say that they have no control over it.

In the end I know that the most prudent thing is to just let it go and do nothing, which makes me feel so helpless, I didn't think something like that while being a mom would hurt so much. I’m heartbroken.

He's four years old but will spin into spirals where he will scream like he's being murdered, throw things kick, hit his door scratch and will stay out of control for at least an hour. It's usually kicked off by something small like me telling him he can't kick the dog under the table, try to boss the dog around or he's playing instead of getting dressed so I go in and do it for him. Once he spirals there's no stopping him until he's done. Then he's as sweet as can be. He just doesn't calm down. This happens between once to three times a week. At this point I'm terrified the neighbors are going to call the cops but I honestly don't know how to calm him or me down. I've tried teaching him to count, think of things that make him happy, redirect him, time outs, time ins, taking toys away, taking away story time everything. I'm out of ideas. My husband is deployed and won't be back for months. I don't know what to do anymore. If it continues I'm scared someone is going to call the cops or something.

I was thinking of getting my soon to be 6yo daughter an iphone 5c for her birthday and my partner strongly believes shes too young. An iphone 5c is much cheaper than an ipod touch but if ive done my research right, will be just as functional? Its basically so she can facetime me, (if wanted when shes at her dads/going for sleepovers in the summer) take pictures, and the usual youtube and occasional game. Is she to young?

my nine month old has made ba, da, and ma sounds so far, but doesn’t do it very often - not even every day or every other day. when i see milestones about babbling it makes me think a normal baby would be doing it all the time! and for his other milestones he does do them very consistently…what is a good benchmark?

I have an academically gifted kid. A couple of years ago we asked her to apply and was accepted to a science and math program at a prestigious local university. She has an aptitude for science and math but she is uninterested. She has hated going to the program since day one. She hasn't made any real friends.

At the end of this summer she will have to decide ehich area of science and math to focus these last 2 years. Until recently she wanted to prove to the kids that go to academic magnets that she is as smart as they are, that she deserves to be there as much as they do. (she attends as arts school) in her words, “I don't want them to win.”

We know this will help her college and scholarship applications. We also know that her grades an extras will be good enough to get significant scholarships without the program. I want her to finish the program but the program interferes with some of her regular school things (she goes to the college campus once a week). She has no interest in going to the college that hosts the program either.

I am conflicted on how to advise her. Finishing something like this is a big deal, but she's completely disinterested and we all know she's doing it because her parents want her to. Even the program director said on the first day, the program works better when the kid wants to be there.

We’re paying off IVF, so buying a different car is not an option at the moment and we have to make this work. I always have the passenger airbag turned off.

My 2 year old is outgrowing his rear facing seat in the NC Miata. I need something small, forward facing, and safe to use without a top tether. The Wayb Pico fits that bill, and I like that it’s small enough to fit in the tiny trunk in the very rare case that it would be necessary.

What are your thoughts on the Wayb Pico and are there any other options that fit the above parameters?

So I’m sure this is all too familiar for many parents, but I am looking for some advice for my kiddos. It seems like any time they spend on technology, no matter how little amount of time it is, they change into different kids almost. They become defiant, rude, just disrespectful all the way around. We try to limit their time on technology to maybe 2 hours a day all together, so if they play on a device for 30 mins, they have an hour and a half of tech time total left for the day. I’m not sure if maybe this is too much time? It’s honestly what my parents did with me as a kid and it seemed like it worked so well for me so I just thought it would be a good idea to try. I am looking to hear from other parents who have struggled with this and have found creative ways to still allow your children to enjoy things like gaming but keep them in check with their behavior. I would be grateful for any guidance, we are all trying our best and we just want to find ways to continue improving as parents 🫶

57 heads including my husband, son, and myself.

24 of those people are family.

and the other 30 are friends.

14 are kids that are toddlers or older.

I wanted to eliminate about 7 people, but my husband insists on inviting them. I'm sure / hoping at least 10 people don't come, but my gosh. That's still 47 people total. It just seems like so much, but I feel that I cannot cut down the list without people getting offended.

I know in school they have programs, but do they have things for personal use? I want something like that where they can read a book and then there are comprehension questions at the end.

https://www.thefp.com/p/motherhood-liberated-me-mothers-day

"That is, until my daughter turned six weeks old—and she did something that changed my world forever: she smiled at me. 

That smile blew all those traditional status markers out of the water—better than a million Instagram likes, an Ivy League acceptance letter, a competitive job offer—even though making my baby smile was one of the easiest things I’d ever done. I booped her nose with my finger and made a silly sound. Really, anyone could have done it. But that didn’t diminish my daughter’s amazement, because she doesn’t care if I’m exceptional. She just cares that I’m hers. 

Unlike my husband, my employer, or my college admissions officer, my baby never had the opportunity to survey the market, evaluate the options, and pick me to be her mother. Our relationship isn’t predicated on any talent or skill on either of our parts. I love my daughter unconditionally, not for what she might accomplish or might be. And she loves me not for my job, or my degree, but because I make little raspberries on her belly. I toss her up in the air and shout “Pizza Baby” in a ridiculous Italian accent. I hold her tight and give her milk.

She declares her delight and love in all sorts of wonderful, wordless ways: her big, toothless grin. The excited shallow breaths. The squeal that almost resembles a laugh. The calm lifting and lowering of her brows as she feeds."

My husband plays with my baby, changes the diaper and get her to nap during the day time. He enjoys doing it and is an involved parent. I feed my baby ( I was exclusively breadfeeding till she was 6 months), make her purees, bath her, clean her toys, wash her clothes etc. She wakes up 5 times a night and I feed her to sleep everytime. When I visited my MIL she says my husband does so much for the baby and that the baby loves him more and only needs me when she is hungry or sleepy. That comment really hurts! She does have a tendency to exaggerate every single thing her son does, but who says that to a mom of a 7 month old.

Hello! I know that school is winding down for the summer, but my kids go out for recess in the afternoon, and I’m concerned that they’re getting sunburned. But if I put sunscreen on them in the morning it wears off before they have recess. They’re 8 years old (twins). Does anyone have any advice for how I can protect them from the sun? They’re fair-skinned, and we live in a very hot area.

Thanks!

She made me gifts, arranged them on the kitchen table, let me sleep in, helped me make breakfast, wished me a Happy Mother’s Day. My 10 year old son woke up whining about what he wanted to eat, only wished me a happy Mother’s Day after I reminded him, and still hasn’t given me whatever gift I know they made him do at school. My husband invited his mother over for lunch; it’s 10:30 and he’s still asleep leaving me to clean and prep which I’ve decided I’m not doing. Men, do better. Teach your sons better. This shit is not rocket science.

My wife has an old manual Honda Civic she uses as her daily driver, I have a newer automatic mini-van. I haven't driven manual transmission in 30 years and was bad at it when I did.

My wife wants our teens age 16 and 18 to learn to drive the Civic and have me re-learn it too to help them. We are also planning on using a driving school in the area to help our 18 year old get over her anxiety about learning to drive with us.

How did other people do in this situation?

I cannot stand this. I know people like to argue “why would you even think about it in an inappropriate way?” Or “if you have an issue with it then you’re the problem” or what the fuck ever that people say. But I’m sorry. The internet is NOT the place for videos and pictures of your naked children. You have no control over where those images will end up. How is that responsible parenting? I’ve seen friends of mine post naked pictures and videos of their daughters where you can see full view of EVERYTHING. them in the tub, the shower, running around naked. How is that appropriate?? I understand it’s coming from an innocent place and obviously they mean no harm, but where do you draw the line on what’s appropriate for social media? If you don’t think this is completely wrong, please explain to me how it’s not. And I know people can say “oh well they control who can see it” I know these people have lots of people watching their stories on fb/snap/ig. It’s never on “close friends only” groups. And I’m sorry but if you have 1000 people looking at this stuff, even if you “know” all these people in real life, how can you know for sure everyone’s intentions? I tagged toddler 1-3 years but I’ve seen friends post their children that are anywhere from infant to 7 years old.

Hi Everyone,

I’ve never posted here before, but I find myself in need of advice as a daughter rather than a parent.

My mother expressed to me today that she feels my younger brother (19) and I (24) don’t care about her and that we only think about ourselves. This was triggered because we forgot to say happy Mother’s Day, but I know it’s speaks to a deeper issue than that. I sat and listened to what she had to say and feel genuinely terrible that I’ve been so out of touch and unaware of how my actions (or lack there of) have had an impact on her.

I have been unemployed since January 2024 and living with her. Being back at home has brought up a lot of old wounds and made me reexamine my own unhealthy thought patterns and habits. It’s also been hard because I’ve felt such shame having to rely on her when she herself is struggling with ill health and working her ass off trying to make ends meet at a company that does not give af about it’s workers. My mother is a very selfless person and has always been the one putting aside her own needs to care for others. She was definitely conditioned to be a people pleaser to her own detriment by my grandmother and it was only made worse by my narcissistic and physically abusive father. I’ve inherited these people pleasing traits, as well as anxiety and depression which are areas I’m still working with. They divorced when I was in my teens, but she still has ptsd and suffers the financial burdens he left behind. I can see how time is catching up with her and I don’t want to just watch her fall apart. I want her to feel loved and supported and have agency over her own life. It’s never my intention to cause her harm. I think I just get so wrapped up in the chaos of daily life that I become forgetful, wrapped up in temporary projects or self isolate. Most of the time I just try to stay out of her way, or that’s what I’m doing in my mind, but I can see that isn’t helpful.

I’ve been having a lot of lessons recently around developing compassion, responsibility and self accountability. I’m going to be 25 this summer and it feels like I’m in a state of transition, being called to embody those lessons in my daily life.

I asked my mother what I can do to be better in future and she said listening is a start.

My questions are these:

For the parents of adult children, what can we as your children do to make you feel supported and loved?

For adult children, what are practices that have worked for you to prioritize love and care for your parent(s) while balancing that with your personal journey and commitments outside of family?

P.S. I was informed that I was accepted for a job! I was also able to have a conversation with my mom and brother about the situation and we’re about to head out for a Mother’s Day breakfast!

Happy Mother’s Day to all mothers and others that fill motherly roles and duties! I hope you take a moment to celebrate YOU today- watch a movie, treat yourself to dinner, sleep in… take a break, read a book, enjoy your families… etc… LOVE YOURSELF TODAY!!

My 2yo is a freaking tornado. Although she doesn’t mean to be destructive and is a really happy baby, she makes a mess of EVERYTHING. Every day, she’ll get into something she knows she shouldn’t. Her impulse control is basically non-existent (even in comparison to other 2yos). Everything is baby proofed to high heaven.

With that said, I need to figure out a better clothing storage solution for her room. Right now, I’ve been hanging and storing folded clothes on the tall wire shelf in her closet. I’m short, so it’s a pain in the butt to get the clothes up and down. My 5yo shares a room with her and is fantastic at keeping things tidy, so I would really love to have a dresser where kiddos can put away and pick out their own clothes.

Howeverrrr, my 2yo loves dress up and I KNOW any drawers within her height are going to end up being raided, all the clothes taken out and strewn about the floor as she tries them all on. It’ll be a constant battle. To make things more tricky, my 2yo and 5yo are nearly the same height lol.

So with that said, any crafty baby-proof options that will still allow my 5yo the independence to do her own clothes (and also not break my back reaching on my tiptoes constantly)?

Our 2.5 yo has been able to climb in/out of his crib but he never attempted this alone. Just to play. This week he started climbing out at the end of nap time and today even got out of his room.

We plan to get him a big boy bed when we move in September. Until then, what do we do? We live in an apartment and we keep our doors shut at night because we have a cat whom we keep out of our bedrooms.

Here's my thinking:

1. Cut out 2 bars off the side of the cot so he can get out without climbing (eliminate falling hazard)
2. Keep his door locked with the key on the outside until...
3. We get a door alarm that notifies us if he's opened his bedroom door.
4. Keep the apartment door locked at all times.

Anything else? How do we respond if he gets out of bed?

Are we about to enter sleep deprivation era 3.0?

Any optimistic/funny stories welcome!

Silly request I know Long story short my new friends.

But having hard time parenting with my wife. Love her to death. She’s a wonderful mom. But I don’t think she has much understanding and maybe patience.

And well, it’s silly as if I have a conversation. It’s defensive mode and it’s just to to hard.

But when she watches a movie and sees examples. She is influenced. And well it helps the two of us really.

So trying to find movies that have good parenting. Or maybe trouble parenting but then realize or something good to learn from it.

Hard to explain I guess. Hope your picking up what I’m trying to lay down

Thanks in advance !

Hello My son 10 years old wants to Build a pc he is very smart and tech Literate and i mean it he can really do things that are Impressive and now he wants to Build a pc because all his Friends have One i don’t want him to do it because what heapens if he Gets a Electric Shock what do you say

Or your favourite children’s book* We’ve recently been visiting the library once a week and I’ve found so many books my sons loves hard to give back so I’m going to purchase them myself. I’m wanting to grow his home library with the ultimate classics overall great children’s books, so please share some favourites!

It’s Mother’s Day. My baby is 8 months old and I left her with her dad for maximum 2 hours during the evening. After him not celebrating Mother’s Day and not understanding why I was upset, I decided to treat myself to a hour sauna and cold plunge session 15 mins away from our house. Let it be known that I rarely leave my baby for anytime. But Mama needed to treat herself, relax and catch up with a friend. I’m also thousands of miles away from any family and new to town. Mother’s Day has always been celebrated in my family and I was disappointed that my partner did not do anything thoughtful. So I treated myself because I am a good mom and I deserve it.

I bathed my baby and nursed her to sleep right before leaving. The idea was to let her sleep part of the time I was gone and then have dad play and hang out till I got home (if she woke up). Sometimes she wakes up after being 0ut to bed and just wants to hangout a little more (so we let her). She is EBF and I nurse her to sleep so I didn’t expect dad to put her back to sleep. She woke up just as I was walking out the door to meet my friend (dad actually woke her with his chanting meditation, lol). So I try to put her back to sleep for the next 15 mins and then I just give in to her wanting to be awake and active. I leave her with dad and I go meet my friend (one of my only friends I see occasionally). She was also running behind and we ended up getting in the sauna about 20 mins behind schedule.

I have my phone on me and I’m checking between cold lunge and sauna. No messages. As we wrapping up and having a quick tea and more chat, I ask how she is. And he replies “come now she’s non stop crying.”

So my relaxed motherly instinct direct me to skip the tea and chat and leave as soon i go the message. I drive 15 minutes home and baby is not crying, no red face or heavy breathing. I know my baby and I never have let her cry it out , not even once. But she does cry in the car seat so I know how she can get worked up. So I did feel guilt for that and just reminded myself I’ll be home in15 mins max and everything will be ok.

I get home and I feel good. I put baby to sleep in 10 mins. She actually slept on her own for the first time ever by just reading my sleep signs (closing eyes) and smiling big as she closed her eyes. I love my baby and she knows it.

But my partner made me feel guilty for leaving at her bed time (the only time slot open today) and just was in a bad mood. A bit hostile towards me and now I’m just even more annoyed.

What would you do? How would you feel? Should I have more compassion for him having to deal with a crying baby (the first time in his whole parenting time)? I kinda feel it’s a needed thing for a father to do… and let the mom take a 2 break on Mother’s Day…