I'm not taking about full-on abuse or arguing, I'm talking about getting scolded, snapped at, or getting talked down to.

My last ex gf would do all of those things to me. She would also sass-off to me, be controlling, and lecture me like a mother does a child if I made a mistake. Heck, she could really make the relationship feel like a mother-child dynamic sometimes.

Like one time, I skipped a step in an instruction book when assembling some furniture and ended up doing it incorrectly, she got mad at me and scolded me, "that's why you always read the instruction book, Kaabiiisabeast!" When I told her I didn't like her speaking to me that way, she said, "it's just a girl thing," I've thought about it often, and it's really bothered me ever since.

She had two older sisters who were also mean to their husbands in those ways. I've met several other couples where the woman treats the man like he's a complete idiot, yells at him, or is condescending to him, and the man just takes it.

I haven't had very many relationships in my life, but with every girl I've dated, they have been the same: scolded me, snapped at me, been controlling, just generally trying to be like my mother. Everytime this happens, I immediately lose attraction to her, and feel less comfortable around her, like she's more of an enemy than a friend.

And yes, i know men can be like this too. From what I've seen, if the woman isn't the one to do it, it's the man. This is especially true from what I've seen with older couples. The man is controlling, snaps at and scolds his wife, or talks down to her if she makes a mistake.

I can't help but wonder if he does it to assert his dominance over her, to keep her from doing it to him. I see the hurt in their wives' faces, but just like those men I mentioned earlier, they just put up with it at the end of the day.

I know no relationship is perfect, but this kind of mean-ness really bothers me. It's so common though, I can't help but wonder if it's normal.

Am I being too sensitive? Is it something you just need to put up with when in a romantic relationship?

Or is this seriously unhealthy like I think it is?

So me and my wife have been married for nearly 2 years and we have a baby on the way. I love her with all my heart and somehow that love has grown since she’s been carrying my child.

Nearly 6 years ago I had a gf who essentially raped me, I said no to sex and I was a virgin prior to that. I stayed with her as she manipulated me and constantly said she’d commit suicide if I left. Anyway we had sex a few more times and if I’m honest I didn’t really enjoy it with her and was manipulated into it (which I only understood after getting therapy).

Now premarital sex is a sin in my religion, and when I asked for advice on this I was told to repent and keep this sin a secret. So I repented day and night for god to forgive me.

However, fast forward to meeting my wife. She asked if I was a virgin and I said yes, to follow the Islamic advice that I shouldn’t advertise my sin and Allah will keep it a secret.

A few days ago my wife found texts (no idea how because I thought I deleted all my exs text) talking about sex. My wife has been crying non stop and feels a deep sense of betrayal. She’s more angry that I lied rather than the actual sex part.

I’m so scared she’s going to hurt herself and the baby or leave me. What can I do? I repented so much and feel so betrayed by Allah, I was just following the Islamic advice I got and now my whole world is crumbling. If I just followed my own common sense I wouldn’t even be having this issue.

I got my crush's number,and he has mine too; I don't know how he got my number! He always checks my WhatsApp status. I tried calling him, but he didn't answer my calls. He texted back, "Hello, did you call? Who is this? I don't answer unknown numbers." I replied, "Hey, it's me, [my name]," but he totally ghosted me; he didn't even respond to my text message, and I'm so confused. He still hasn't deleted my number though because i can still see his lastseen. Why did he do that?

I have this friend (let's call him Matt) who I've known since highschool. We are both in our late 20s now and weren't close (or even friends really) until the end of senior year. Since then, we became really close friends (I hesitate to say best friends but he's definitely in my top 3). I think that's like 10 years of friendship, give or take. I definitely have developed feelings for him over time which has lead me to not trust the way I'm reading into things. I can't tell if the things he does are because he's my friend or because he's also into me.

The dynamic of our friendship is a bit bizarre because we exist in this group of 6 people who have been friends since middle school and high school. Up until recently, the two of us had never actually spent any time alone together, we were always hanging out with at least 1 other person from our friend group. For this reason, I would never be bold enough to confess any feelings without knowing there was a chance they were reciprocated since it could affect the dynamic of our whole group if things got awkward due to an unrequited confession, ya know?

Here's a few of the things that I have been (over)analyzing recently:

1. Matt flew to the other side of the world to visit me. He brought one of his coworkers (let's call him Justin) along for the trip and my friends have convinced me that was his wingman. (I moved out of the country after college. Only one other friend from the group, my best friend, has visited me in the near decade I've been here.)

2. During this trip, the 3 of us went to another country for a week. Matt paid for everything for me. I'm talking food, shopping, drinks, hotels, train tickets, etc. I only ever paid for something when I was at the airport without him.

3. While in this other country, Justin would randomly leave us alone to take walks or take a nap in the hotel room or get to bed early. Because of this, I went from having never spent any time alone with Matt to spending full days or nights with him. We went to bars, dinners, and tourist attractions together. Lowkey, felt like those were all dates and Justin leaving us alone together was intentional (but maybe I am delusional.)

4. A few weeks ago he asked me to join him on a trip with his coworkers the weekend I was flying in for the holidays. None of our other friends have ever met his coworkers. He keeps these groups very separate. Justin is going and texted me saying Matt was really happy I could join their trip and that none of them ever really brought people outside of work so the whole group was excited to meet me. (Their work friend group is 5 people who regularly go on trips or go to events and what not together.)

5. Also on the trip a few months ago, we joked that we should marry each other if we're still single at 40. Matt said why wait till 40, let's make it 30 (so 2 years from now) and I said deal. This was day 2 of his visit. For the rest of the trip, Justin would constantly refer to Matt as my future husband. (Wingman activities or just messing around?)

6. He doesn't use social media anymore, but when he did, he commented on all of my posts, replied to every story, liked every picture.

7. He moved about 6 hours from our hometown after college (and hour if you fly). In these last few years, whenever I visit home, about twice a year, he always makes sure he's in town to see me. Puts in more effort than any of our other friends to make time for me.

This is getting too long so I'll stop there but there's more little things like this that my mind has been hyperfocusing on.

Men of reddit, your insight would be appreciated. Am I right to think he may have some kind of feelings for me or is that just wishful thinking and all of this is very normal things guys would do for their female friends? Is there anything I should (or shouldn't) do when I see him in a few weeks?

Everyday goes by taking care of our child, we don't have much conversations except about our kid, no kisses, cuddles, hugs or sitting closeby.He seems ok, helps taking care of our child when he has time, just daily stuffs, eating, cleaning, going out, and thats all. Is this normal?

Female here- I have to take a moment to say, Thank You misters, gentlemen or guys for the responses you are sharing to this community.

We are taught and/or influenced from a young age how to prepare for the household and relationships. We were given baby-dolls, cars, to care for, playful kitchen sets, pretend makeup, dress up clothes and fake money.

Psychological our parents or we as parents ingrain(ed) into the psyche this is/will be your role in some aspect of your life.

As children, we play with our siblings or cousins and we begin to reinforce playing mommy, daddy or sometimes being the baby, doing housekeeping chores, and maintaining the appearance.

If you played any role, you were told sit here, eat that, get dress, buy this, feed the baby, etc. during playtime.

Now, as we grew older, these experiences and expectations subconsciously influences how we interact with others we desire(ed) to establish a relationship with.

No matter how the playtime of house was played, not listening can be detrimental to any relationship.

Many responses has been enlightening and if 80% of us will just Slow Down to Listen, we can actually have a successful marriage/partnership and relationship.

Keep sharing because one day, we may get it right ☮️.

I figured out she was back on dating apps one day after the breakup so I kind of knew it was coming. Having said that, this is one of the most painful things a man can ever experience without feeling actual physical pain. I have feelings of confusion, sadness and anger inside of me. This is a person who told me as recently as 6 weeks ago that she loved me and wanted to marry me and that I was the love of her life. She introduced me to her family and people she grew up with. I was planning on building a life with her. It makes me wonder if it even was real to begin with. I still have the happy memories which makes it hurt even worse. She left me for what seems like a very small reason because I didn’t do anything wrong and everyone I’ve told the situation to has said I didn’t do anything wrong. I hate having a big heart sometimes, I wish I could be as cruel as her. Then it wouldn’t hurt as bad.

Disclaimer: I'm not an incel. I'm a guy in my early 30s, with good career and a home, and have dated on and off since I graduated from college, with two fwbs.

Let's face it: You wouldn't skydive if your parachute failed 1% of the time, let alone 50% of the time. Half the marriages end up in divorce, and it is mostly initiated by women.

Family courts, alimony, child support, etc, all favor women, and prenups can be dismissed.

I hear horror stories from my close friends (loveless marriages, only in for the money/kids, dead bedrooms, women asking for an open relationship, etc), and seeing a chad friend of mine (6'4, in finances, 6 pack etc) getting messages from married women, as well as countless matches on tinder, was just depressing.

So my question is this: Why should I get in a government contract that the other party can violate and end and get rewarded for, when I can keep focusing on my career, work out, maybe see a sugar baby once a week / twice a month, and save up for my retirement? Women should be for this too, right? Since sex work is real work and 'empowering'.

We met online and hit it off immediately, talking day and night. Within 3 weeks, he was head over heels, calling me the prettiest girl he’d ever met and saying I should be “some rich guy’s arm candy” and he even admitted he cried once looking at a picture of me because he felt so lucky. He told me I was the first girl he could talk to about everything and said he loved to brag about me to his friends and even told his dad about me.

He wanted me to move to America to live with him and was planning to visit me in Europe as soon as I was ready. He used to spoil me with flowers, jewelry, handwritten letters, he paid for my nails and made me put his initials on my ring-finger and he even sent me money to fix my car when it broke down, without me ever asking for anything at all. His sweet messages and his effort really made me fall for him.

But 3 months later he became distant and it’s been like this for 2 months. We used to facetime daily, but now it’s just phone calls once every 3 weeks, with no texts in between. He says he’s overwhelmed with work and caring for his sick dad and I think he’s depressed because of it. When I ask when he’ll finally come and visit me, he says he doesn’t know yet.

I’ve tried being supportive considering everything he’s going through, but it feels like my presence doesn’t matter anymore. Do I keep holding on, or is it time to let go?

My wife and I got married in March 2024 after a six-year relationship, overcoming significant challenges like financial struggles, family health issues (including donating part of my liver for my dad’s cancer), and years of waiting. However, just a month into our marriage, things took a dark turn.

During an argument over a canceled trip, she physically and verbally abused me, which shocked me deeply. Since then, the abuse has become a pattern, triggered by minor disagreements. In one instance, she hit me while I was driving on a mountain road, putting both of us in danger. She’s also threatened to leave at night, screamed for help in public to make it seem like I was harming her, and frequently brought up divorce during fights.

Her family denies the abuse and called me a liar, leaving me feeling unsupported. I’ve been contemplating divorce for months and even took steps toward it. But now, her family and she are asking for another chance, promising change.

I’m conflicted—part of me wants to give her one last opportunity, but another part fears that the abuse will continue, leaving me trapped again.

Edit: We have been seperated for the past 2 months now.

I’ve had two different guys ask me if I wanted to be in a relationship with them, but they laughed while asking, as if they didn’t mean it seriously. To me, it felt more like they actually meant it but were just unsure or nervous.

I kind of dated both of them, but it wasn’t really a proper relationship—it was more like something in between.

Why do you think they asked me like that? FYI I also jokingly said yes and we never talked about it again.

And how can I tell if an insecure or shy guy actually wants a serious relationship with me?

This post is probably gonna be pretty messy because I have no idea how to even explain this, so I'm sorry in advance.

I'm currently 18 in my last year of high school. I've been trans ftm (female to male) for two years now, and I think it's been the worst two years of my life.

To summarize, I don't take testosterone yet, but I do go to male bathrooms, I change in the male locker rooms etc. My only goal in life currently is to fit in with the men. I want to be a man, want to be seen as a man, and want to feel like I actually belong with the men, if that makes sense. But currently I feel like I'm hovering in between; not seen as a woman, not seen as a man.

I've kind of already accepted that this is gonna be something that takes time, and I'm okay with that: but the guys at school make it so much worse. They follow me into the bathrooms to start banging on the stall door, tell me if i don't have a dick i'm not allowed in there, yell slurs at me when I walk past. The whole school knows my name because I stand out, as not many people have met a trans person before. Guys I've never talked to before come up to me to taunt me.

It's made me really afraid, even towards strangers that have no idea I'm trans to begin with. I'm just hoping this gets better as I grow up, that people will be a bit more mature by then, because I really don't want to keep living as this outsider that doesn't quite belong anywhere.

hi, me and my bf have been dating for a little over a year now. during the relationship, my bf has never posted me once on his instagram but has made a dedicated highlight for his friends? i've talked to him abt this and how i felt that he never really treated me as special as his friends but he just never gave me a solid reason why. there was one time where we got in a huge fight and he just told me that i would never be as important as his friends. till this day, those words are stuck still in my head. i wonder if this is a common thing in men just prioritizing friendships more than their partners or is mine just.. yk.. like that..?

I am 21(F). I have a crush on a guy since a long time. We studied at the same coaching then went for college in different cities. We have been chatting on insta since a year and half then he got busy because of his placements and we nearly stopped talking. Now placements are over and maybe he has got placed too. Should i text him again? He is a very nice guy and career oriented too.

Things OP rarely wants to pursue as an adult, without any motivation.

Hey. So I'm (28m) with my GF (27f) for over a 3 years. We live together for over 2. I enjoy this relationship very much and I'm investing a lot of my resources into it (time, energy, money). We are communicating very well, so each part of the relationship that was a problem to either me or her, has been resolved or adjusted through some compromise.

We are honest with each other, we share the same values, like more-less the same things and ways to spend a time, we have agreed on plans for the future that satisfy both parties (eg. wedding, children, income management, wealth building etc). We are both happy and fulfilled in this relationship.

However, while I'm sure that I want to grow old with her, I'm not sure if I "love" her. What exactly does it mean, to "love" someone?

I enjoy her company, I do have sexual desire towards her, I feel responsible for her, I'm "addicted" to her (meaning that I present some withdrawal syndroms when she's not around for a longer period of time) - but I feel this is not "love". "Love" is always depicted as some super powerful feeling, like you have the "feeling" that this is the right person to marry. I do not - my belief that she is the right person comes from rational assessment.

Genuinely interested in your opinions. I enjoy discussing stuff, even when people come at me.

I've been finding it very difficult to get anyone to hear me in this community. I'm quite conerned that 'men' as defined by this community feel they have no responsibility to prevent unnecessary harm to others.

Taking responsibility for others and preventing harm done to them is high on the list of things I personally think that distinguish a man from a boy (emotionally speaking). It is one of the ways I've defined myself as a man as I've grown into one. I feel very deeply that this is one of our most powerful functions as men.

But now that I've tried to bring up that we aren't taking responsibilty, particularly when it comes to women in vulnerable positions who are genuinely looking for advice, what I'm hearing back is:

- That there is no value in being angry

- That I am too emotional

- That I must be alone and miserable (completely incorrect, I have a partner and a house and I've just had one of the best weeks of my life)

- That I am a simp

I'm a man - I can handle a personal attack or two. This is Reddit after all. The whole thing is made up and the points don't matter. I get it. But I'm just being honest because I think it's wrong - morally.

What's interesting to me is that these are all classic digs I have actually used (before I had therapy and realised I was wrong) to squash any valid argument about harm caused to women due to my behaviour. It's weird to catch a glimpse of how it must feel every day just trying to have an opinion as a woman, and I'll admit I don't like what I see from their perspective. It doesn't feel good.

By far, the worst take so far on here is this:

- That women have a responsibility to steel themselves from cruel comments by men, because they are simply going to happen here.

This really upsets me, and I think anyone else with a wife who reads Reddit daily will understand why.

It's predatory, and this community is baiting many women into a trap.

"A space for men and women to ask advice of competent and Manly Men even when it comes to our feminine side. Ask your questions. Ask Men Anything."

Yeah right.

As I've been arguing I have realised I only really have these two points:

1. Vulnerable people will come to this sub whether they should or not, because the description frames this as a safe space for all very outwardly.
2. If we don't actually keep a safe space and allow that vulnerability to be taken advantage of we are being irresponsible.

TL;DR:
An old man pisses into the wind, and gets mad that he's now covered in piss.

But the old man is a regular Bear Grylls, and he drinks piss for breakfast.

What are the answers, solutions to male loneliness? There isn't going to be a universal fix to this but what are so answers and solutions to this. Edit: I asked this question less than a hour ago and I'm not pretending to be a man. From the replies to this post has been the emphasis on the individual man but when male loneliness is addressing it's framed around women and what they should, can do to help? If a person is depressed they can talk to family and friends for support but it's them who have to seek help for their depression as another person going for the doctors about them will only be told they have to come to the doctor's themselves and who'd argue with that? If a man is lonely because of lack of friends and not because he haven't got a girlfriend he could do as has been suggested by you man. Who else can fix anothers loneliness other than themselves? If you want to become less lonely and you can be lonely in a crowd that loneliness is psychological and may well be related to childhood as a lot of things are, you have to join clubs, you could join a gym. Exercise will help to release happy hormones in your brain. There's no easy fix and the less outgoing the person is the harder it will be to make friends, join clubs. I'm not a man so wouldn't be an 'expert' on the sex I'm not.

Basically the title. I'm a student and at one of my societies there's this guy I'm interested in. We've spoken a bit so I sent him a message asking if he wanted to meet up later in the week, one evening, as I had one week left in town and it would be nice to talk to him outside of our shared hobby. He said yes so I suggested a time and place (7pm at a bar in town) which he said was cool. I thought he might pick up on it because I'm asking to meet 1 on 1 outside of where we usually meet, and it's in the evening, but I've never really been on dates before so I don't know if it's obvious. Should I clarify with him before we meet up, or should I just see how it goes and take it from there?

I spoil my boyfriend in bed and he barely touches me. I’m feeling very low. I have to ask to get anything out of it. I am very sexy and confident so it feels really humiliating to feel this way. I can’t leave my house without getting hit on. Why doesn’t he know what he has?

In every (other) way possible he’s an amazing partner, and I don’t think he would want me to feel this way. When I have mentioned it, he just says of course I’m attracted to you and of course I love touching you.

Is he watching too much XXX on Reddit? He denies he watches, but I know he does. I tried to talk to him about that too, and let him know that I watch also but he shut it down. I was kind of hoping I could find out more about what he’s into and we could explore some things.

I was trying to give him more of what he wants, but maybe that is backfiring because I’m not getting anything out of it except the enjoyment of pleasing him because I do love that.

Should I just stop putting so much energy into it and kinda leave it alone putting it on him? What do I do? I’m so confused.

What is your current job title? What degree/degrees do you have? Do you feel you would have gotten to this level without your degree? If you could go back and do something differently what would you change?

Hi! I am a 37-year old single mom who has been trying my luck on Bumble believing that there are still many real, good men out there. I am a professional and my profession is well-respected by the society, at least here in my country.

My bio does not give a hint of me looking for hook ups or me being desperate for a man's love and attention. I believe it is wholesome.

However, I noticed that some foreign men (meaning, we are of different nationalities) I have matched with, who, according to their bio, are also well-educated, are in a hurry to be their girlfriend just after some exchange of messages. I would say that we should get to know each other first but they would ghost me.

This might be a no-brainer and the easy explanation is that they just want sex. Or, could it be that they don't want to waste time in getting to know stage.

Is this the thing now?

Where is the best destination you have been to so far? When did you go? Who did you go with? Why did you pick that destination? What advice would you give others who are interested in going there?

My girl and I have been together for 10 yrs. In the past I did not care if she worked things we easy just on my income. But these days things are so expensive my income alone can not support the 2 of us anymore. Along with that i want to get married. Informed her i want a team mate i want to build a life with her. And doing it all on my own is no longer practical. All she says is she sacred to. I'm 40 she is 52. I try asking her what has her scared but I don't get much. It's frustrating if not for her unwillingness to get a job she would be everything I ever wanted.

Have you ever been cheated on? How did you find out? What did you do when you found out? How did you heal? How did it impact your future dating and relationships?

I have heard this from multiple men but what does it mean and what are these men trying to avoid?

I’m a virgin woman, I’m clean physically(I think) but I’m kind of nervous to know what exactly these guys are saying. Due to me being a virgin, the men who have said this are always very coy in explaining what they mean but….I kind of like one of them and don’t want to drop the ball. And in general, it seems like this is important to men and I like men, so what the heck are y’all talking about.

I would potentially be having sex later in a relationship and don’t want to kill someone’s vibe or even him break up with me because I’m “not clean”. I don’t think I could emotionally take that and I literally have no experience.

Men, share methods and products that help maintain cleanliness and well-groomed body.

I am 24 years old, around one week ago I met a girl under the pressure of my parents, I did not like the girl look-wise, but my parents forced me and said ‘The girl is right for me and she is from such a good family’…

The very next week they got me engaged, I was not even thinking of starting a relationship with any girl and now still there is no spark from my end with this girl, all the time my mind wanders around and is filled with a lot of stress.

I once tried to talk to my mom but she told me, 'In the beginning, this happens with all, so think less and concentrate on your work, now we won't be able to do anything.'

My goal is that I want to achieve a lot in life and I feel that I am not ready for a relationship. What do I do, I don't understand anything...

On one hand, there are parents and society (I am from a family where all this is normal like marriage etc at 23-25)

And secondly, I have some goals for my career but since I got engaged my mind has become completely blank. I am very stressed😣

Please give me the right advice m because I am going through a very dark phase.

I matched with this girl on a dating app. Got her snap and we’ve snapped here and there for the last 2 months. She’ll keep a streak with me, I try and start a conversation but it’s hard for me to keep one with her. Her responses are dry.

What are the Chances shes just snapping me to keep a streak or is there a chance if I ask her on a date she’ll go out with me? Did I wait too long to ask her out?

I have next to no experience with women so I don’t know what to think. I’m going to ask her out anyway cause I have nothing to lose lol. Just some insight would be nice.