So I’ve been having problems with staying hard either while undressing or readjusting for different positions. I am able to get hard just by a quick kiss but by the time we are either to the bedroom or by the time we undress I have gone full soft again. Staying hard while actually having sex isn’t a problem.

So is there anything internal you guys do to stay hard? Like for example flexing it or even stroking in the mean time

I (20M) been dating this girl (19F) for about two months, and we were very close friends for about six or seven months prior. During the time that I got to know her, she opened up to me about a lot of things, one of those being that she had an onlyfans. When she told me this, we were still friends at the time. Personally, I'm against sex work; I think that it's harmful to both sides of the exchange, along with a variety of other reasons. I explained to her my view points on it, and while she disagreed for the most part at the time, she heard me out. Eventually she ended up deleting it because she didn't want it to affect how I thought of her. Fast forward to now, and she regrets opening an account in the first place. But for some reason, the fact that she even did in the first place deeply bothers me. For some reason I have this gnawing fear that she's going to create another account, or that she never deleted it in the first place. I can't shake the thought that she's going to cheat on me, and the thought of what she could have posted on that account really bothers me. But I really don't want to feel this way at all. She's one of the kindest, most understanding people that I've ever met, and I really do believe that it was just a mistake that she made because she's young and impressionable. I've told her about this fear before, and she listened and told me that it's not unreasonable to be upset that she had an account like that, and that she understood why it bothered me. I have every reason to forgive her, but no matter how much I try to mentally, I still feel the anxiety and disdain emotionally. It's gotten to the point where sometimes I'll start subconsciously viewing her as this person who has no self respect, or as someone who wouldn't care a thing about monogamy. I really want to get over this problem, because it's making it difficult for me to even be in the relationship, and I feel like I'm ruining a good thing. What can I do to help this?

I've talked ti therapists, friends, I've talked ti basically everyone except for her in depth. I'm at ropes end here and I don't know how what to do. I can't hide my emotions very well, I can't let this go.

2 years dating. Have a house and dog. We get along great, mostly.

For the first 2 months, she was seeing 5 other guys right up until we became official. At least 1 i know of, but likely more were sexual. None were using protection including us. I gravely misjudged the situation. I thought we had something romantic going on. It felt different. Taking naps together, calls every night before bed, talking all day. There was a look, I thought it was special. We were having really intimate sex. Shoot me. I take entire responsibility for all of this, it's my fault. All of it. The first time we had sex, in the first week of dating, right as I was taking her pants off she said "btw im seeing others, If that's okay". I panicked, was confused, lost the mood. I mumbled something that resembled acknowledgment. We kept going through the motions but nothing worked. She got freaked out but wouldn't admit it. "Friendzoned" me for a week or two, but didn't tell me. Eventually we got back on track and that's when things ramped up and I thought things changed.

Turns our she slept with a guy a week after me, I ended up becoming friends with him. Neither told me about it until 1.5 years in when I figured it out on my own.

Now I feel awful. And again it's all my fault, I get it. She said that one line once and that clears her. I wish she had told me about the friend earlier though. Anyways he was after me, and its basically because she thought I was bad in bed. The rest of the new dates after me was because she thought I wasn't good enough. But here we are 2 years later. She says she's happy. But I feel like this foundation was built on sand. I wasnt just an option, I wasn't a fuck yes. I was the 5th option. She "got to go date some more", her exact words, while I was benched. And if I had known how casual it was I would have just left. I'm not going to be someone's maybe. But I didn't really start learning about the depths of the dating until a year or more in.

I can't handle it. I feel disrespected. I feel not good enough. I feel like what I thought we had, wasn't real. Because who has this passionate lovey sex, makes wonderful meals together, cuddles, naps, calls each other, she's telling me verbally how special I am. Who does that and then goes and does the same thing with 4 other guys? I'm confused. I'm angry.

I feel like the only option I have is to leave. But we built this wonderful life together. It's just built on sand. How am I supposed to trust her now? I can't. And when I brought it up once briefly after finding out, she made me feel dismissed and like I wasn't allowed to feel bad.

I'm terrified man. I'm going to lose this maybe real maybe pretend thing. I sounds like this is dating now so it's just going to keep happeningm treating people as disposable. I just wanted to find my person. I thought I had.

I realize it was all before exlusive, I'm not trying to say she cheated, or blame her. But I felt misled, or I was too dumb to realize how casual it was. I misled myself I guess. I take responsibility. But I can't just let this go. What does that say about the kind of man I am. That I can be treated like this and just forget about it

Tl;dr:gf slept with someone right before exlusive. I found out on my own a year in. She was also seeing 5 guys right up until official. Despite the next 2 years being good, I don't think I can let this go. She led me on, she was reckless with my feelings and physical safety.

I’ve had a rough time including messing my brain up pretty badly and permanently with medication about ten years ago (now early 30s). I lost all contact with any ‘friends’ (never really felt close to anyone) I had from my youth. I had a reasonable connection with a girl a year or so ago but it fell apart in a pretty upsetting way and I’ve left my job too.

But what I feel like I’ve noticed throughout this time is how as my value as a man has fallen away, so has my value as a human. I feel like a commodity rather than a person.

Now I don’t know how much this is in my head and maybe it’s only my own perception that makes me feel like this, but it just seems like my place in society has now lapsed. I feel cast aside because I can’t fulfil what I am supposed to be. People don’t want to message me back because I have nothing proper to say so it has no worth for them and I’m going to end up forgotten.

Just how I’m feeling.

When I was 19 I went through a nasty breakup (I got dumped) and it put me out of commission for a while. She was my dream girl (IVY graduate, charismatic and model tier gorgeous) and even though the whole thing lasted 4 months and was a fling it hurt my self esteem when I got dumped. I’m 23 now and while I do scroll through dating apps I’ve been happily single for almost 5 years now. That said, I’ve been seeing my friends male and female getting engaged, go on dates and get married. I feel… jealous (not in the I hate you way but in the wow congrats way if that makes sense), upset for being behind and overall scared I’ll never find someone especially where I’m am in life. These feelings usually come up when I see either social media posts or scrolling on TikTok I find that most advice is oriented to females and idk if I’m weird for feeling like this as a dude. Advice? Am I normal or just emotionally stupid?

i mean in a real way. because women seem to either be too overwhelmed, not understand properly, feel defeated weak and passive and just stay there and pay attention and can agree but there's not that deep emotional connection, or understand logically but again no proper emotional processing and mirroring. I've heard of only 1 story that i can recall right now of it being successful but it's a very extreme and specific example. in my experience a lot of men are lonely at least in part bc they are toxic and don;t see the other person, get offended and make assumptions, like they don't want to get rid of their personal toxic conditioning they see as reality, but it doesn;t mean that every lonely male is so because he is out of touch with reality, besides you could aruge he's missing something but then why isn't anyone who has it giving it?

I have a lot of female friends and family members that complain about men giving them the cold shoulder after a falling out. I know at least five women with this complaint about other men. I'm not posting to make a moral judgement one way or the other, just wondering if people have observed that this is common.

Anyone else find the open misandry on TwoX disturbing/upsetting?

About 1 week ago I started experiencing a white odorless discharge and uncomfortableness in the urethra under the head of the penis. I do not have burning or urgency when i pee.

Went to urgent care and was given a chlamydia and gonorrhea test as well as a uranalasys. Was preemptively given a shot for gon. Came back negative on the stds. Gf also had a std test and came back negative as well and also neg for trich. Urinalysis showed no bacteria, but did show trace blood and white blood cells in urine. Went to my family doctor today and they did a swab test and I am waiting for results.

They recommended I take antibiotics for 28 days (sulfamethoxazole-trimethoprim) for a infection, but I am wary of taking them as I do not want to build resistances to them and I tested negative for bacteria.

Anyone know what could be going on or have any advice?

Morning everyone! A little over a month ago, I met a girl who was a friend of a friend at this party. I have never seen a more beautiful girl in my life, so I asked her if she wanted to go for a walk after the party and she agreed.

We walked around for over 3 hours, and there were times here and there where she would say things that made me think she was interested in me. These included: • She told me she would consider herself a planner, and I told her I’m more of a doer, and then she smiled and said “good, I’ll plan, you do” • There was this box in the middle of the road she climbed up on because she wanted to see what it would be like to see the world from my height (I’m 6’3, she’s 5’2).

At the end of the walk when I dropped her to her place, I asked her out on a date and she agreed. Later she texted my cousin (who she’s known since middle school) if going out with me was okay with her, to which she said yes.

A couple of weeks after this walk, she was extremely unresponsive over text. A day before our scheduled date, I double texted her and confirmed the date was still on and she said yes.

The date itself was fantastic, I made her laugh, we got deep into discussing politics, which is something she is passionate about, we went to Dave and Busters, I kissed her on the cheek after she won this insane jackpot, and the total date went on for almost 6 hours.

At the end of the date, she asked me some clarifying questions about my sexuality because I have been known to fuck a few guys, but I got really deep with her and told her that was just a deflection tactic I use to cope with the fact that I was sexually assaulted as a child, and that I am fully straight.

I told her I was going away for a work trip and she asked me to text her when I was back. I tried texting her the next day, but 19 days passed and I didn’t hear a word from her. Eventually I asked my cousin if she could ask her how things are going with me, and finally at that point I received a text from her apologizing for responding so late and asking me if she could talk to me over the phone.

I was pretty pissed at this point, and told her I was actually really busy with work. I told her I would let her know when I was free to talk, and didn’t say anything for 3 days at which point I said sorry I’ve been swamped with work and that I was free to call now.

It’s been over 3 days now and no response from her. I really want to make things work with this girl. Did I fuck up here by being so difficult about being available for the call, or was it already over between us?

The other day me and a guy from my class (let's call him Marcus) and his sister (Let's call her Laura) we were talking about hairs and how he had hairy legs so then I show off my leg hair (which I have a lot of, so a bit of a flex 😎) and then I said something like:

"yeah we have hair a lot of weird places" and then he looks at me and nods, and I look at him and nod. And we both know exactly what we mean. And then Laura looks at us very confused and is like "what..?" and then he goes "Laura, ass hair" and then we continue to look at each other and nod 😂

Then I told him actually shaving the ass hair is so convenient cause then you don't have to use half a toilet roll and clog the toilet to clean your butt. And it seemed to make a lot of sense to him, he said he might try that cause it'd be so convenient. Meanwhile Laura looked a bit traumatized 😂 She said "this is why I don't hang out with guys" ( she knows I'm trans so very nice to be validated)

It was hilarious and a very gender euphoric moment. I'd once talked with Marcus about facial hair before cause he's a bit upset he doesn't have much, so I'd said something like "don't worry I don't have many either" and then he said I got more than him and it's probably cause I'm a year older or something.

He doesn't know I'm trans so I was just thinking " well actually I don’t have as big of an advantage as you think-"

Hey, everyone! Here's an article that I had to put out regarding "incels." I believe that while actual, declared, and devoted incels are problematic, there are a vast majority of people who simply are hopeless romantics who struggle with love but have to share the ridicule of being labeled with that term. It's all just another form of bashing men in particular since "nerd" has been co-opted and "virgin" is a bit out of style. Anyway, hope you enjoy it!

Medium: https://medium.com/@alexandermoreaudelyon/are-incels-bad-65c0002c3db0
Substack: https://open.substack.com/pub/alexandermoreaudelyon/p/are-incels-bad?utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web

I didn’t know this was even a consideration until the fella was asking about deodorant a few days ago, and it got me thinking. Do you trim it? Why or why not? And how short?

I keep being stopped in the middle of my work to chitchat. Is there any reasonable/non-hostile way to signal that I don't want to talk while I work?

I've considered getting headphones, but my boss will probably say no.

Hi everyone, m23 here. I am going to the drug store tomorrow because I'm running out of deodorant and I've been looking at antiperspirants online. I sweat a lot, and the stick deodorant is still mostly effective but I feel like it could be better. I'm wondering which one you guys have found more effective, particularly if you don't trim your armpits. I have nothing against it I just don't think I would stick to a grooming schedule consistently.

I apologise in advance for the following long post.

My wife and I got together about 13 years ago. She is somewhat religious and I'm not, so she didn't want to have sex before marriage, (although I got head now and then from her). I only had sex once before with someone else before we got together. At first, I was not happy, but I got over it, as I was willing to wait.

Then her parents died about 7 years ago. She had no one else in her life. I invited her to move in with me into my family home. My parents love her. She is good friends with nearly all of my close friends. I am friends with her best friend and her childhood friends, although most of them have entered into their husband's orbits of friendships.

I married her 4 years ago. Not just because she was an orphan, but because I definitely (and still do) love her. (Also, I wooed her in the first place). We enjoy the same things. We have similar values. We both don't want children, but dote on our nephews and nieces. We're both professionals and we go on holidays together nearly every year. She is very pretty. (A waiter even hit on her a few days ago. When she told me about it, I teased her that she's only getting better looking with age). I have been told I'm handsome by women and men. Neither of us have hot bodies though. We're not skinny or fat. Fit but not built.

After we got married, we moved into an apartment together. Then the pandemic happened. We were always together. Our relationship was great. But we never had sex. She would be reluctant, and I didn't want to pressure her. It didn't help that when we had arguments (thankfully, rare), she would say that all I'm interested in is sex. She said that because, honestly, she had nothing else to complain about me. We both do whatever chores need doing. If I can't do something, she will do it. If she can't, I'll be happy to do it. We're both very independent people.

But over time, I started feeling the growth of resentment of not having sex with her. I stopped trying to initiate about 2 years ago, when the lock downs were lifted. Since then, she has given me head maybe thrice. I think she feels guilty. Our friends are having children. I began to wonder if I don't want kids because she didn't want kids.

I had accepted my lot in life. But then, I made new friends at a social event. My wife did not want to be involved herself, but encouraged me to join. As a result, I had to go meet these new people for a few days a week for the past few months.

The women there seemed to really like me. The men too. (Yes, I could be reading too much into it, but some of the married couples there were eager to go on double dates with my wife and I, despite not having met my wife).

Most of the women there are married, and some are in relationships. I fear I am catching feelings for one of them, who happens to be in her early 30s and is unmarried. I can tell she likes me too. (She has a bf of a different religion, and they are definitely not going to get married). In fact, my wife even told me that she thinks that this particular woman has a crush on me. I told her that everyone that I met there had a crush on me!

Meeting these new people is prompting me to re-evaluate my acceptance of my lot. I still love my wife, but I feel that it is diminished somehow. It doesn't help that when I see the way my crush looks at me, I realise my wife doesn't look at me the same way anymore. Worse, I don't look at her the same way anymore too.

I feel lonely and frustrated. I have been deprived of a sex life for over a decade, to the point that I felt very little sexual attraction to anyone anymore. Perhaps I suppressed it.

The problem is that I can't stop thinking about this woman that I have a crush on. I don't want to cheat on my wife. I do still love my wife, even if the attraction has faded. Besides, I can't divorce her without disappointing my parents and family, and all of our friends. We have a mortgage. We have a routine.

But, I want to be loved; I want to love, with passion.

I know I can suppress these intrusive thoughts sooner or later. I can avoid the woman I'm crushing on, until it's nothing but a distant memory. I don't know if I want to.

These days, I'm still the perfect husband. But I feel I'm telling my wife less things that are on my mind lately. I change the topic to what she likes instead, or her problems/issues. My replies are shorter, and less serious, less depth, less nuance. I'm keeping it light and breezy.

I apologise for the way I've written, as English is not my native language.

TLDR: sexless marriage from inception. Met a new woman whom I'm crushing on. I want it to go away. I also don't want it to go away. I don't want to cheat or divorce.

Question: should I leave my wife?

Hey, everyone! Here is my article discussing the Jonah Hill situation as a prelude to what I will discuss in part 3 of my Why Victims of Female Perpetrators are Ignored series. I also uploaded a second addendum focusing on the manosphere. Let me know what you think, and hope you enjoy it!

Medium: https://medium.com/@alexandermoreaudelyon/unpacking-the-jonah-hill-controversy-86fc6d3fa10a

Substack: https://open.substack.com/pub/alexandermoreaudelyon/p/unpacking-the-jonah-hill-controversy?r=2nxr65&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web

Hey, everyone! Here is the second edition of my series, covering how society distracts from the sexual abuse of boys by female teachers. I also uploaded an addendum to the first article that rants on the MensLib subreddit. I won't link it here, because I don't want to cause brigading. (If you do want to see it, DM me so I can send you a friend link.). Let me know what you think, and I hope you enjoy it!

Medium: https://medium.com/@alexandermoreaudelyon/why-victims-of-female-perpetrators-are-ignored-part-2-hot-for-teacher-abd5ea6e26e7?sk=3ba18203cb2d26e5d253a1cfbc75c378

Substack: https://open.substack.com/pub/alexandermoreaudelyon/p/why-victims-of-female-perpetrators-f51?r=2nxr65&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web

Hey, everyone, here is the first edition of my research series, focusing on how the Duluth model steered the conversation of abuse away from woman-on-man violence despite its biased message. Let me know your thoughts and I hope you enjoy it!

Medium: https://medium.com/@alexandermoreaudelyon/why-victims-of-female-perpetrators-are-ignored-part-1-the-duluth-model-40e2649291cf

Substack: https://substack.com/inbox/post/135705672

Hey, everyone! I'm venturing into an endeavor to fully explore why society ignores or downplays men who were abused by women. This is a quick introduction to let you know what my aims are with this project. I hope that you enjoy it!

https://medium.com/@alexandermoreaudelyon/why-male-victims-of-feminine-abuse-are-ignored-a-quick-introduction-9ded91e1192c?sk=2f8a220352ff05de5692e66493f2e994