I just wanted to share some news about my long-distance relationship. I’m 17 and in a relationship with my girl who lives in the Netherlands (she’s originally from Portugal). We’ve been doing long-distance for a while, and it’s honestly been one of the best experiences of my life, despite the challenges.

We’ve talked it over a lot and decided that, if everything goes well, we’re planning to move in together next June! We both know it’ll be a big step and will mean some huge changes, but we’re ready to make this commitment. We’ve worked hard to keep our connection strong, and the thought of finally being in the same place just feels surreal.

We’re both feeling really positive about this, but I’d love to hear from anyone who’s been through something similar. How did you handle the transition from long-distance to living together? Any tips to make the process smoother

Hello!

Please don't leave any judgmental comments. I don't want relationship advice. Just trying to figure out how to go about all of this.

My partner and I have been best friends for over 5 years now and only been dating for maybe.. 6 months?
We've sent each other small amounts of money whenever the other has been in need of it, but never really anything over like 20-30$.

I don't have a job atm, but I get unemployment checks every months (around 900$ ish and about 500 of those go towards bills) and my partner works a bunch and saves money on the side.
My partner is now at a point where they really need me by their side and I really also want to be by their side. It would genuinely improve both of our mental health so damn much.

They wanna send me money for the plane tickets, which will be around 500-600$ in total, for me to come visit at the end of november or beginning of december for just like 2 weeks (as long as I can get a visa approved too as I'm in EU and they're in the US), and as much as I want to allow them to do that, I'm struggling to let them.. Part of me feels scared about flying to a whole other continent without much money in general, but part of me also feels guilty for possibly accepting that much money from them. I already know I have some type of trauma when it comes to receiving money because of family and stuff and I honestly am not even really sure what I want to get out of this post.. But I guess I just want some advice on how to go about it.

I really want to meet them and they really want to meet me and I know it's going to help both of us *a lot* if we FINALLY get to meet and be together.

I probably shouldn't feel guilty about them wanting to pay for my visit. But I also feel really guilty because that means they'll also have to pay for a lot of my food and stuff, which they're aware of and ready to do as well.
I'm also scared about the whole TSA process when I enter the country because my partner live out of their car right now... And I'm pretty sure they'll be suspicious if I arrive and don't have any hotel booked for myself or anything :( but I'm totally fine sleeping in their car with them, I just want to be close to them and hug them and hold them, I don't care where we are :( I could just tell them we're gonna be road tripping, but idk how strict TSA is about all of these things or if they even check things like this that well..

I also currently live with my mother and I just know she's going to guilt trip the absolute shit out of me for wanting to fly to the US without having much money to go with.

Is it really okay for me to accept money from my partner to come visit them? :(

My girlfriend and I were long distance been for a year and a half before I ended things just a few days ago. The distance was hard, and I had lost romantic feelings for her, as much I genuinely care for and love her still. We’ve both agreed that we want to work things out and stay friends somewhere down the line

We’ve still been talking everyday and being open with each other even where it hurts. She’s had a lot of questions. I know it’s especially hard for her since she still has romantic feelings for me and I can only imagine it’s painful knowing I lost them towards the end.

One thing that I’m not really sure how to navigate is setting good boundaries - we’ve set a few (like no “I love you”s), and we’ve talked about maybe taking space (but haven’t taken any so far). But it feels like what would probably be best for us (taking some space apart) isn’t what feels the best to either of us at the moment. But then, it feels like there’s nobody who could support us better during this period than each other

So my bf is on Erasmus and hanging out with the same group of people since he got there. In this group there’s a girl who I recently found out has a crush for my bf and flirts with him. My bf never told me this because for him it’s not a big deal and that he didn’t want me to feel upset. I don’t think my bf has to tell me whenever a girl flirts with him but I think it’s different since they’re hanging out together. Am I exaggerating

We are still long distance (250 miles), will be closing the gap, but we got married Friday!

Is it fair to ask for proof/pics of texts, even if i trust her?

Long story short, she's vague and hides small stuff sometimes because of her traumatic past, which is why i still trust her (also because she spends literally all of her time with me, so she genuinely doesn't even have time to cheat on me.

The thing is, because of the bad habits, and because her guy friends all have feelings for her (2 have already admitted and the 3rd is touchy, asks for selfies because he misses her, and literally took her out on a "date" one on one (there was a 3rd person with them, but she left), I'm talking arcade, getting her plushies, food, ice cream) because of all that, I feel like the guy does not respect my boundaries OR hers, and I overthink a LOT, regardless if I trust her or not. Im 90% sure that if I ask to see texts between her and this guy, that it'll show he's a lot closer than he should be, and that he has feelings for her and is genuinely disrespectful of her boundaries and mine. She has an issue where she can't really notice if people aren't being genuine or taking advantage of her, and everything this guy has done since I met her, would make anyone think that he's got feelings for her, but she can't see it.

Is it wrong to ask to see how this guy and her guy friends interact with her?

My (F20) ldr with my boyfriend (M19) is suddenly like incredibly painful. I’m super depressed every day without him. When we first started long distance in August, it was really tough but understandably so. Now though, I just feel this loneliness even when I’m around friends or whoever. I just cry so much about it. And I was doing fine in September and October for the most part. But now it’s just like taken a turn and my heart is broken without him. It’s not that I depend on him, but the lack of his presence is just so evident right now. There’s so many things I do everyday that I wish I could call him and say “wanna come over and do homework together?” Or whatever. I can’t wait for winter break when we can be together for a whole month. We have to be long distance for at least until may, hopefully no longer than that but we’ll have to see. But yeah any support or suggestions about how to make it feel easier again would be great. I love him so much and I hope we get married. Breaking up is not an option but this long distance 💩 is for the birds.

Would you want to stay in relationship with someone like this?

They only work 4 days a week and maybe have a 5th day (overtime like 2x a month), with hours of free time after work, but claim to always be too tired on weekdays to spend anytime on face call/doing activities together. Maybe 2x a month actually decides to spend time doing activities with me, even though they have 2-3 free days per week. Takes forever to respond to texts even though they are currently on their phone/ipad just playing games/on social media for hours.

I (f30) wanted more time with my husband (m30) on our 1 month of marriage day. I ended up just ruining that said day..

He made plans with a friend and I felt bad for it. He said a month isn't a big deal, I was overreacting, and that I should've told him to cancel his plans. I told him that I was not going to do that.. it's caused an argument and I feel bad for mentioning it. I know this is silly, I have really bad relationship anxiety and this is eating me up. I feel so silly and chidish.

I’m feeling really uncertain about what to do anymore. I’ve been in a relationship with my girlfriend for 4 months. We started off strong, but in October, we broke up for a couple of days. It was sudden and hurtful, but we eventually resolved things and got back together.

A couple of weeks later, she brought up wanting a one-night stand. I told her I couldn’t handle that—it made me physically ill just thinking about it. A week after that, the topic came up again, which led to a breakdown on my part. I felt like I had no choice in the matter. I eventually told her that if she pursued it, I’d likely have to detach myself, leading to a breakup. I set a firm boundary, saying it wasn’t something I could accept and didn’t want to discuss it again.

We were doing well until this morning. She told me she wanted to talk, and I immediately felt a sense of dread. She said I’m too possessive and controlling, then stated, “This needs to be an open relationship.” I told her no—that’s a boundary I’m not willing to compromise on. I then asked if what I bring to the table is worth it for her or if she values casual sex more. Her response was, “You should be asking yourself that.” I made it very clear I can’t do an open relationship; the thought of her being intimate with someone else makes me physically ill and mentally unstable. She then told me not to contact her for the rest of today and tomorrow so she could make her decision.

I’m extremely upset and feel worthless, unheard, and angry. Just last night, she spent 45 minutes telling me how much she loves me, how much I do for her, and talking about our future together. Now, I’m scared I’ll be traded for something purely physical, even though she promised that wouldn’t happen.

I can’t imagine being in a relationship where she’s with someone else at the same time. The thought alone makes me sick; I visualize it in such detail that it mentally destroys me. I can’t handle the idea of her going out, being with someone else, and then coming back to me as if nothing happened. It disgusts me.

Am I crazy for feeling this way?

I never thought I’d be one of those people who ask for help on reddit, but here am I. If this isn’t the right subreddit I don’t know what is.

Two months ago, I (23F) reconnected with an online friend (also 23F) I had made 10 years ago. We hadn’t kept in touch, but she made a huge impression on me, and I remembered her often. We decided to keep in touch this time. We got to know each other. And suddenly, we’re talking every day for at least two hours straight (or gay – yes, very funny). We are both shocked to discover we are insanely similar: the same values, same thoughts. Hell, once she was telling me about this song she thought I’d like, and I put it on 10 minutes later! I don’t really believe in destiny, but I now know why people do.

Anyway, we are sharing stories, and she starts to flirt with me more and more. It’s not like I hadn’t thought we couldn’t fall in love. I did think about it. Me falling, her falling, both of us, neither of us. What would happen. She’s 6000 km away. In the very beginning, we talked about meeting up. The plan was 10 years – I’m guessing we both want to change that now. We are both trying to get our first “real” job – to have a stable life.

Anyway, sorry, I’m rambling. When she starts to flirt more seriously, initially I don’t reciprocate. I was scared I’d make her think I liked her when I wasn’t sure. That’d suck. A few days pass, and I just say fuck it, because I’m not even sure if she’s actually flirting or if it’s just for fun, and I had this plan to ask her. Maybe that makes me an asshole.

Yesterday, she made it obvious. I couldn’t ignore it so I asked her if she liked me. She said yes. I’m not dumb, I knew that might be the case. We have this conversation where we agree that we don’t want anything to change. I tell her that I’m not sure I like her romantically.

So here’s the thing. The last time I liked someone was when I was 15, and it wasn’t even really “like” since I didn’t really know anything important about the guy. Yes, I know. Having a very small high school, college during covid, and not really meeting anyone new does that to you (introverts rise!). I really like her. If not romantically, then as a friend. For life. I’ve spent the last weeks imagining different scenarios with her, I smile when she flirts, I like it. I like HER. I’m afraid that when we meet face to face I’m not what she expects (we’ve video called, but I just don’t know). I’m afraid I’m just imagining things because I’m lonely. Fucking insecurities. Shouldn’t I feel my heart jump out of my chest every time she messages me if I truly like her? Isn’t that how it works? Does that mean that I am just lonely? I want to talk to her, to learn about her, I want her to know me, I want to be better, I want to meet her, to show her all the beautiful places nearby – I’ve imagined doing this while holding her hand. But shouldn’t I feel more?

At the end of the day, there’s no rush, I know. I don’t think I could date her before meeting her anyway. And time will probably tell. What should I do?

I’m sorry this was way too long and probably all over the place. English is also not my first language, so I hope it’s readable.

We were having a small argument. I wouldn't even call it an argument.

We were talking about our future expectations, living together, etc. I don't even remember the entire conversation because I wasn't even that serious about the conversation. I was probably asking him a lot of questions about expectations, the future etc. Then he would give me an answer and I would give my perspective or ask him further questions.

On of the last questions was, what are we going to do when we live together? He started his answer with "we will do our chores together, ....(don't remember the rest)"

So I asked of all the things you could think of why are chores on the top? I was sort of arguing but in a very polite way. I wasn't being rude and mean. I thought these questions and answers were healthy where we were trying to come to an understanding of what we both expect.

Then he yells "Why can't you just trust me? Why do I have to justify myself all the time? I am fed up of this!"

After this I completely shutdown because his reaction was very unexpected. I have never been yelled at by any of my exes no matter the type of argument. I have had much bigger arguments with my exes in the past but I had never raised voice at them and vice versa.

There was 5 minutes of complete silence after he yelled. I didn't know what to say or how to feel.

Then he tries to have a conversation like that didn't just happen. He tries to be extra sweet and I just try to pretend to be normal.

The next day he is checking up on me every few hours. Letting me know where he is, when he is going to call etc. I reply as normally as I could.

I tell myself it's alright he made a mistake. Maybe this was an exception and I shouldn't judge him by his one action. I try to be understanding.

Now, it's the third day and things feel different. I try to talk to him whenever he calls me, I try to be loving and move past what happened.

But I have two issues :

1. I can't seem to open up to him like I used to. Earlier I used to say whatever came to mind, was always playful and flirtatious. Now, I can't come up with anything to say to him.

2. What if this is a symptom of something bigger? Or am I being too emotional?

Would the adult thing be to move past this hiccup or treat this with seriousness?

Choose love. Let the rest go

If you love her and she loves you- THAT'S ALL THAT REALLY FUCKING MATTERS. Nothing else.

If you fucked up- PLEASE just repair the shit NOW. Save yourself the torture you're feeling. It only gets worse bro. Let go of your anger. Put down the blame. Focus on the love.

Is she the one? Then let her FINALLY be happy WITH YOU. This limbo bullshit is killing her too. Don't force her to move on when you KNOW- and YOU DO KNOW- she fucking WANTS YOU.

She'll have her own apologies. Let her feel safe to say them. You work through it TOGETHER and let it fucking go.

The regret you will feel every single fucking day for letting HER go instead will dominate your life. It doesn't go away. You'll see her everywhere. In everything. She'll be on your fucking mind every morning. Every night. Everytime something good or bad happens. You can't escape. Trust.

Do it right NOW because life is fucking short and most of us are already past the halfway mark. It's time to start living your life with her man.

Take the fucking leap man. You'll regret it so fucking bad if you don't. Trust me. This shit haunts you. Just go fucking get her.

hi, my boyfriend and i were thinking of breaking up as i am going to collage in seattle while my bf stays in ireland. but as the date is approaching both of us want to stay with each other, i was just hoping for some tips for us. thanks!

Hello everyone, ive been in a ldr for about 6 months now and sometimes i feel like i try more in the relationship. I communicate more, every time i see an issue i talk to her and she acc listens and it doesn’t become a discussion but i feel like im always the one bringing stuff up and i try not to overwhelm her but it also upsets me that she doesn’t say anything by her own thinking. This conversation always turn to her saying sorry and i just want her to realise without me saying it or if she have any problem to tell it to me.

She also prioritises her life wayy more than our relationship , like I used to send her pictures of the things i did over the day(i more or less stopped since she didn’t do the same), find moments to respond to her even if i am busy, but shes the opposite , it feels like i am the one wanting to talk and shes only responding to that, she responds to pictures with pictures but she never send one by her own, and she replies when she is in her room and not busy, if shes with friends or on uni she doesn’t reply.

We have planned to see each other every two months and so far thats has been happening and when we are together we have 0 issues. Soo pleasee i need help from veterans over here over this issue since its probably very common in this situations.

Thank u all on advance :)

We’re fortunate that we get to see each other once every 3-4 months. We’re fortunate that there’s (only) a 3,692 km distance and 2-hour time difference between us. We’re fortunate that it’s been 8 out of 13 months down and exactly a month from now we’ll be together, celebrating our first year anniversary, my 30th birthday, Christmas, and NY.

I know that we’re fortunate about these things, and that we get to have those days together soonish, but tonight’s just been extra difficult - I’m in my head thinking about us having to say goodbye again after that, thinking about the possibility that the 13-month countdown turns out to be longer, and doubting if I can still keep doing this if it actually does.

I have no doubts about our love for each other, but for some reason tonight’s just been more difficult than the rest. I’d say we’ve got our routine pinned down, and our communication’s great. But tonight I just can’t shake my worries off.

Would love to hear some words of encouragement or advice, if anyone’s made it this far.

Posting this in a few places. Has anyone been through K1 process in which you’ve sought out help from an immigration lawyer?

My fiance and I do need to go through a lawyer as opposed to applying without one, and we are trying to find a bilingual lawyer (Korean/English) in the US who has at least some background with both countries and does the fiancé visa.

I’m stumped trying to find lawyers who fit this description. I’ve looked high and low and the few I have come across either don’t do K1 visas, charge $500 for an initial consult just to answer a few questions, or are just not responsive at all.

I have also spoken to lawyers who only understand US law and process, but that just won’t cut it for our unique case. I would sincerely appreciate any guidance or suggestions from those who have gone through similar. Where do you look? Where do you start? Ive done so many Google searches, asked ChatGPT for help, etc.

Of course my fiance and I just want to start this process so we can be together as soon as possible and I know it’ll work out in the end but I’m a little discouraged right now…

Appreciate y’all~ 🥹💕

So my gf is thinking of finally moving to UK to be with me soon. (She is from another European country). I can't get my head around the idea of her moving to be with me and change her life,, it feels so big in my head. She doesn't know anyone else in the UK and I'm worried co-dependency will become worse etc when that's already a slight issue in relationship. Maybe I'm just not ready but I hate the idea of being someone's everything, I'm very social and independent and can't get my head around it all. I'm struggling with taking that next step.

Has anyone else experienced this?

I (f20) have a 5 hour time difference between my gf (f20), I'm in London and she's in New York. Being ahead of her is starting to feel really lonely. She frequently sleeps in, sometimes not waking up until 12:30 (5:30 my time), and I'm unfortunately a morning person. We both have classes and other obligations, and she plays a sport at her school and is often going to practices and games, leaving even less time for us to talk. Clearly, this isn't her fault, those are responsibilities neither of us can adjust. There have been many times where I've stayed up late into the night to talk to her or call her, which I can never tell if she's excited to do or not. Point is, is it worth adjusting our mutual habits for the sake of the relationship? Her sleeping a lot was not a problem when we're in the same time zone, and I was waiting, at most, 3 hours for her to wake up. Now I spend my entire day waiting to talk to her. I'm not dependent on her conversation and have friends that are always around for me, but everybody emphasizes communication in a relationship, and I feel her habits let that dwindle. Is it fair to ask her to try and wake up earlier so we can talk more? What can I do to compensate for lost time?

never gets a good morning messages, always asking for flower and do little efforts and in every fight it is my fault because of my emotions 🥺

Hey guys so my girlfriend yesterday got a court order to evict her 2 year old house in 1 week and she's pretending everything is fine but I know she's feeling sad and stressed

So me and some other friends already raised money for her to move into another place.. There's still some financial problems but we're helping with that

The main issue is that she has to move areas now and I can tell she's sad that she's leaving her house with all the memories and being away from her university friends (she gonna change schools too).. We FaceTime all the time but she's pretending that she's OK and everything is fine but that's just her masking her emotions

Now how can I help her throughout this period of big change other than money? Any tips and advice?

Thank you

I’m in turkey visiting my boyfriend. I calculated the days wrong and I’ve stayed 91 instead of 90😣 I will need to pay a fine but does anyone know if I will be banned from the country for a while?! I’ve read I won’t because it’s only one day. Please help if you can!!!

it’s too expensive to send care packages from kansas to the uk 😭 but i like to find vintage postcards from where i live and from where he lives and we send eachother postcards. it’s a really cheap sweet way to connect with one another i think. for americans: international stamps are 1.60$ and i usually pay anywhere from 10 cents to 1.50 per postcard i find!

I said yes. I don't mind that it was over text but i feel like i can't tell anyone because of the judgment. imagine they ask about the proposal pics and i tell them it was over text, would you judge?

i know people are gonna think he's not serious about me because of it, but we are soulmates.

he's gonna come down for thanksgiving break and says he wants to get married then, but i'd rather wait til next fall.

so my question, if someone told you they got engaged over phone, would you judge or feel happy for them? if so, why?

please help i'm so afraid to tell people 😭

Throwaway for obvious reasons. Me and my current girlfriend had met on Tinder, and have been dating for 6 months now. I live in the US, and she lives in the Dominican Republic. Prior to this incident, we never had an argument or a reason to be distrustful of one another. She had suggested that we should be committed to one another after a week of talking. Normally, I wouldn't have trusted such a thing even in a close-distance relationship, but we instantly clicked. I felt as though a leap of faith wouldn't be such a bad thing for once.

About two months into our relationship, she had the idea of swapping Instagram passwords to "post stories on each other's accounts". I thought it was a cute idea; maybe a way to alleviate any negative thoughts that may have ever lingered due the distance. As soon as she had gotten into my account, she had commented on dm's with female friends and exes of mine dating years back; not in a negative way, but very tongue-in-cheek for lack of a better term. I never thought about going through her Instagram as soon I had it, but the first thing I noticed was that she only had dm's dating back to 2 weeks prior when we had been together for 2 months. Anything beyond 2 months is understandable. She had dated before me, and it'd be nasty for me to see a dm with a guy she's no longer with. I go to her most recent dm, which was a convo she had with her cousin.

For context: her cousin, (19F) is her best friend, and has known me for the entirety of our relationship. She had even begun referring to me as her brother-in-law. I found a voice note between the two that had shattered me.

GF: "Girl, I think I'm just going to stay with LowerTheNoise at this point. (other guy) doesn't want a girlfriend, but I never wanted to be his girlfriend to begin with. But hey, we'll see. A gal has got to remain entertained!"

Cousin: "Wow, quite a setup you've got for yourself there, haha!"

After seeing this, I felt betrayed. I told her over the phone what I had heard, and she had gone from being bubbly to the line going dead silent. She quickly deleted the convo she had with her cousin, and I promptly hung up. The rest of the afternoon was filled with incessant calls and texts. At one point, it even got to threats of self-harm. She even got her mother to call me, and lecture me about causing problems within the relationship. Any attempt to point to my GF's wrongdoing was then deflected. I felt dismissed.

She swore up and down that nothing ever happened between her and that guy. The thing that bothers me is: I don't know if I believe her. She lives in the same remote town as him in the DR. I've visited, and the place doesn't even span a square mile.

She stated that due to us having met on Tinder, she is used to disappointment, and being told sweet things only to be let down in the end. She somehow convinced me to take her back, and has since been very remorseful of the whole thing by deleting her Instagram and her Facebook, and makes it a point to send me videos of what she's doing at all times. She even began to stay in, stating that she prefers to talk to me instead of going out to parties.

It's sweet and all, but it's gotten to a point in the relationship where it feels as though I'm chaperoning her. Now, 6 months in, I feel as though every time she doesn't respond to my texts within the hour, or when she says she's going to run errands. there's always a sliver of doubt embedded in my mind; one that I've never experienced before in any relationship, but one that I feel like will stay with me, regardless of who i end up with.

We still have a strong affinity towards one another. I still feel happy, but sometimes, I also feel wronged. I don't want to build resentment over something like this, but I'm unsure of how I can shake this feeling. I have also verbalized that I don't want her building resentment, and have her feel as though I am robbing her of fun by her choosing to stay at home and talk with me every weekend. She still affirms that it's her own choosing, but I can't help but feel that it is due to guilt.

I've gone and made one trip so far to meet her family. She has also met my family virtually. What do I do?

TL;DR : long distance girlfriend got caught talking to other dude whilst being 2 months into out relationship. 6 months in, and I'm still feeling down about it. What do I do?

I dont know how into it I want to get. Literally typing this right next to them. We get to see each other more or less once a month due to our schedules. We talk every single day and go to sleep on the phone together every night. Whenever we get a day or two to sleep over he spends most of his time on YouTube. I am a physical person and don’t even remember I have a phone when I am with them but it seems the opposite from them and I just feel unimportant because if I was inviting you over to my place I’d have all of my attention on you. I don’t want to not acknowledge making breakfast/ dinner for us which I was head over heels grateful for. Idk. I just feel sad and needing to vent.

Additional information I forgot: we’ve been together for 3 years. M28 F28

Long distance is the hardest and by far the most rewarding form of relationship. This trip has opened my eyes to so many things. It has been by far the happiest and most perfect week.

It’s been the best 8 days of my life, the memories I have made and people I have met have been phenomenal. I flew to Warsaw on the 2nd November and leaving now. I was met with a beautiful flower petal heart arrangement when I arrived at the hotel later that night.

Then we spent some wonderful days in Warsaw before heading to her hometown where I got to meet her mother and her best friend for the first time. I was so scared but within a minute of being at her house. Meeting her best friend was also scary and I was nervous af. But again within a few minutes I was absolutely fine and before we knew it we were doing many shots and drinking as if we’ve known each other for years. It was perfect, with my perfect girl. We spent a total of 5 days in her house but it flew by so quickly. It was the 7th time we’ve seen each other since March and this trip just now was the most beautiful, the most comfortable and the most perfect one yet. Kocham cię moje kochanie, dziękuję za wszystko! To było idealne 🩵🤍