So me and him have been in 4 year relationship and long distance relationship since 2 years and we finally had a chance to meet in October or November I was so excited he said he’ll get a room because I told him I’m not comfortable in going out in the public I would rather go somewhere private (not in a wrong way I just hate public places) also cuz we’re going to meet back in our home country I don’t want any of those stares from stranger since dating is not considered something cute before marriage and he agreed and took responsibility. Last night while we were talking what we’re gonna do when we see each other ther he said “ arrange the room or a place for us to stay and we’ll have sm fun babe” I was shook cuz he never said anything like that before he’s always treated me like a pieces made sure he never said or did anything to hurt my feelings since we started over after coming to the US I feel like he’s manipulating me because he during once of our lil arguments he said “if I get mad i won’t talk to you” it’s just so weird to me because he never said or did anything like that before and honestly it really threw me off His behavior revelry is like he doesn’t wanna put in any efforts because he knows I’m not going anywhere I talked to him about it and he promised he’ll change after a while he continues to do the same I wanna break up but he always ends up convincing me to stay making me feel bad for being hoe at about my feeling with him I seriously don’t know what to do it’s been affecting my school, my relyeith my family I’ve been isolating myself there’s sm going on idk what to do I’m feeling really overwhelmed.

hello redditors! so i(18f) am in a long distance relationship with a guy(21m) for almost 11 months now. and i just need some quick advice what i should do! first of all, i do know that it’s not my responsibility to remind him all the time but i just care about him so so deeply and i don’t want him to get any problems.. okay so, pretty most of the time i have to tell him to brush his teeth because otherwise he won’t do it, at all. whenever i tell him to he always responds with a “ughh okay” or with a “yes later”, and ends up not doing it. sometimes but extremely rarely he have periods where he brush his teeth without me asking it, which is good.. a month ago i sent a huge text and told him that he should brush his teeth because otherwise he will get problems, it ended up with an argument🤷🏼‍♀️

listen, i really do know it’s not my responsibility to remind him, i know that. I just care about him so much! and im kinda scared to communicate with him about it. lol

My bf was at my place 3 weeks ago. He told his parents he would visit another friend of his who lives in my direction. It felt weird but i tried to ignore it.

So now in summer, we are planning that i visit him instead, but he said his parents have no clue who I am. I asked him about it yesterday a little and he said "it would be a problem for the future him". Which did left me dissatisfied.

I need to plan everything through, because it takes a lot of convincing from my side so that I can visit him, and for that I would need clarification if I can actually stay with him in the first place.

I know the answer is obvious. Talk to him. But I just don't really know how to start this and I don't want to push him too much atm cause he is writing his finals.

I hope anyone here can slightly help me out

So me and my boyfriend met in school our freshman year and are currently 20 days away from graduating hs. Me and him met back In our country we were in the same class he likes me and I found out through a mutual friend but one of my friends in our class liked him too so let’s name her emma and my boyfriend Jake Emma knew Jake liked me one day I went home and I texted Jake that emma likes him and they should go out at that time I already knew he liked me I just wasn’t planning on going in any relationship and he told me he can’t cuz he liked me. I somehow convinced both of them to give it a try I was heart broken when I found out they finally dating lol. But they lasted a week all three of us talked about it and he proposed to me and I finally had him things were alr the first two year I got kinda jealous because emma still used to hit on him even after agreeing she’s okay with us dating. After some I felt like he’s hiding something from me he became distant and I found out he was cheating on me with his cousin let’s name her julia and his excuse was “I’m dating her cuz my uncle told me to get back at her for what she did to me ” I was heartbroken I broke up and gave us time but eventually got back together I gave us another chance. We used to break up and get back after few weeks. after sophomore year we left the school and moved here to the US it was really it was difficult for both of us to do kind distance cuz we used to see eachother everyday but we did it somehow We used to have fights almost everyday because of his past but he made sure that never happened again and I promised to forgive him and start new giving us another chance things were going great we started fighting less loving each other her more and all but recently he’s been acting different i know he’s not cheating but it’s like he’s not the same not taking responsibilities, acting like he doesn’t care, even when I tell him I’m mad he doesn’t take me seriously. He’s always talking about cars I love him I hear him out and support him but sometimes I want him to talk about us I feel like he stopped putting in efforts because he knows I’m not going anywhere it’s really hurting me I talked to him about it and he said he promise that he’ll change but after a while continues to do the same I never ever accepted a single gift from him I don’t ask for money or him to fly here or spend any kind of money all I ask from him is to give me love, attention and his time and he’s still struggling to do that after all the promises he made Idk what to do I really need help :( (Sorry about my punctuations and grammar I just wanted to get this off of my chest I’ve been feeling overwhelmed lately there’s a lot going on in my life).

My girlfriend and I have been on and off for a couple years now. She has a best friend that she has been friends with since she was 8 years old. This friend has never liked me and will always message me on her own to trash talk to me about how my girlfriend deserves better and that i should hurt myself. This friend’s profile picture on all of her social media platforms is a picture that says “I love M” being my girlfriend’s initial. This friend has NEVER had a boyfriend and will constantly make jokes to my girlfriend on a group FaceTime that she should just break up with me and date her. The friend has set her passwords to my girlfriend’s birthday and even has hearts next to her name on everything. My girlfriend has constantly complained about how weird she is about our relationship and that she will try to get her to change clothes on FaceTime with her. I’ve tried to explain to my girlfriend that she needs to drop her because she is a bad influence and is rude to me and her on occasion. She also tries to get her to do drugs and smoke/drink whenever they will do something together. She will also try and bring me up at some point when they are alone and just talk bad about me to her. Need answer or something i’m mostly venting here.

Hi! My bf's birthday is tomorrow and I haven't been able to come up with something to give to him. Since it's tomorrow, I just want to make something and just show it to him, and give it when he visits here (we are in a very long distance rs lol). He's 25 years old and is okay even with handmade stuff, I guess. Any suggestions what I can make in a day?

Thank you so much!! I really appreciate it!

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 2.5 years. While we have never really been the type of couple to sext or video call all the time, we still do occasionally. We’ve visited irl twice, both with intimacy yet only in our most recent visit did we have sex for the first time.

The most recent visit was in late December, and since then I’ve been craving intimacy like no other. It doesn’t even have to be physical. We’ve discussed this feeling briefly, and did have a fun spicy time session a few months ago, which I really enjoyed. I think he did too. However this was while we both had a bit of time off work so staying up late wasn’t really an issue.

Our biggest problem stems from having a 12 hour time difference since he recently moved overseas, which makes it hard to even initiate anything. If I initiate when I’m feeling in the mood, he’s either at work or sleeping. And the same goes for the other way around. While yes I could just send him pics or messages when he’s at work or to wake up to…it just doesn’t feel right. One, he works a very strict/professional job and I don’t think that it’s appropriate and also two, it turns me on when he can reciprocate…not waiting several hours.

Anyways this is already long, so I’m just wondering if anyone has advice on how to work around the timezones? Or fun/different ways to get intimate that don’t have to revolve around timezones?

Hi guys. For context, my boyfriend and I met in the summer while he was doing an internship in my hometown. Unexpectedly, we started dating and I am very happy to be with him. We have made long distance work well these past several months. Here are where my worries come into play.

Going into a long distance relationship, we always wanted to have a rough plan of when the distance would end, without rushing the relationship. We both really want to be able to end the distance when we graduate, so about a year or so from now.

We will both be graduating with our bachelors degrees. With his, he is able to get a job practically anywhere in the country and receive a great salary. With mine, I will be working a temporary job, with a low salary, until I am able to get into graduate school. The program I wish to apply to is extremely competitive, and people often apply multiple cycles and take multiple "gap" years to get in. Notably, he will have started his goal career after a bachelors degree, but my goal career is not achievable unless I have a masters. Originally, we agreed that I would move to wherever work first took him and then he would follow me to where graduate school takes me.

Recently, he told me he is considering applying to graduate school right after undergraduate. He goes on to tell me that he would only apply to three top schools, and only go to them if he receives a fully funded plan where he would be conducting research at the university. Although it sounds extremely hard to get into, I would not be surprised if he got in because of how smart and hardworking he is.

Here is where I worry and I do probably sound selfish. I want him to chase his dreams and reach his true potential, but I do not want to do long distance after undergraduate. Say I follow him to his program, but then a year later I get accepted into a program elsewhere, we'd go back to long distance... I don't want that. I know I would be miserable at my program if I was still long distance. I've told him my concerns, and I've mentioned how he has more opportunities to receive a fully funded program through employers in the future, but I don't know if he cares about this as much as I do. I know I need to live in the moment, enjoy my life now, but the thought of this eats me alive. As much as I want my boyfriend to do what he wishes with his career, I don't want to do suffer through long distance the entirety of my early to mid 20s

And yes, I would apply to schools in the city he would theoretically be going to school; however the schools in those cities have a <2.0% acceptance rate

I just need any advice, here’s the basics: My bf is long distance and is coming to visit me. He would be staying in my home. I wanted him to visit me ofc but I wanted him in a hotel. Neither of us has hotel money, he already bought the plane ticket. He’ll be coming in a few days and idk what to do. I don’t want him in my house I just wanted him here.

Me(21M) and my GF(20F) have been in an LDR relationship for 5 months. She has been diagnose with major depression and ptsd prior to meeting me. She tells me that she hates and despises herself and asked me "Can you love someone if they hate themselves?". I want to ask your opinion on this and what I should do since this seems like heading to a breakup.

Hi (21M) and I(21F) have been doing ldr for months. People in his country love texting and facetime with their gf/bf, and he keeps texting or calling me. However, it's really hard for me to call like for 4 hrs a day. I also need sometimes for myself. But he's really sensitive and I don't really know how to tell this to him.

Hey all, I been so conflicted recently but idk what to do.

I’ve been dating my girlfriend for about 1 year and a half. She’s the best for me honestly I love her to pieces, we had been dating for 10 months until we got put into a long distance relationship.

We both got thru our first year of college, We visited a handful of times but the gap is about a 10 hour train ride and a little pricey for us since I am living in residence and lost my job in my hometown, while she is also on the hunt for a job.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with her, she is so amazing to me and her family have a great bond etc.

But reality is hitting me where, after 5-6 years we will still probably be where we’re at and I don’t think it’s lookin too good in the long run…

I know it’s stupid to wanna explore and meet new people but I feel I can’t be in a long distance for 5 years… My mom tells me sometimes not to “marry early” cuz she had a long term bf once and it didn’t end well… but besides that I think it’s totally my fault.

I used to feel so optimistic and special about it, but knew I was moving 10 hours away from her. So I always had this thought of a potential breakup. Unfortunately I think life is just doin its thing. I just really don’t wanna break her heart, she’s already been thru so much. And I don’t want to lose my best friend. But if we keep it up and realize it’s not gonna work down the road, the breakup will be much uglier.

I’m going to visit her tomorrow, I really do love her to bits. But sometimes it’s time to face the truth and do the things that leaves both parties better off in the long run.

TDLR: I love my gf but realize I may not be willing to have a 5+ year long distance relationship. She has no flaws and I feel like a real asshole for thinking this way.

I (36F) had to have stomach surgery for hernia and I had to be off grid for a few weeks. His (34M) argument was that I never brought it up and also why wouldn’t I just tell him that I had that kind of surgery coming up.

I did tell him that where we are at with each other didn’t warrant me telling him about my surgery mostly because I wouldn’t want to burden someone with stuff like that…

Anyways now he thinks I am trying to delay meeting up.

For those of you that had hernia surgery…how long did it take you to get to a place where you started reconnected with the outside world. I have to admit the pain drugs they give me make time go by faster…which means I have been getting quite a bit of rest.

Hello,

For those that believe in breaks, how long would you give it if there was no “end date”? 1 week? 2? More?

Asking as my LDR asked for a break and tomorrow marks a week.

My (34f) long distance boyfriend (36m) and whenever he brings that up in context to our intimacy, it upsets me. I have told him that specifically. Still he says how he had to bring his expectations down because I don’t compare to his exes or whatever they are called. Yesterday he did the same but apologised. But I was still a little upset and whenever I am upset I can’t talk. I struggle with mental health issues and am under treatment. He’s also at home and dealing with a lot of issues. At night he shouted and told me that I get upset at every little thing and don’t understand his situation. That everyone uses him to build their moral character and emotionally drain him.

So my question is how big of an asshole am I? And please please suggest how do I manoeuvre this situation?

Reasons why I think maybe we should break up/will eventually have to in the future:

• We have many differences that is interesting and fun in a relationship but could potentially become a big barrier/reason for disagreement when building a life together
• I feel we are both still emotionally immature in our own ways
• With those things combined, I am scared and frankly find it a bit unrealistic to completely leave everything I have right now and move in with him

Why I really don’t want to:

• He’s literally the only person that can make me happy just by existing/being beside him
• No one has ever broken me out of my shell like he has, and I honestly feel no one else in the future could do the same, at least in the way that he did
• Basically, despite his flaws and our occasional troubles, I genuinely believe there’s nobody else like him for me
• And im scared for both my physical and mental health if he stops being in my life the same way

I’m so lost about many things in my life, which really doesn’t help. Are there other things to consider? Has anyone else had similar experiences? I literally have tickets to go see him in a few days and I hate to think about this.

Im F(17) and my birthday is on november. (still 17 after birthday) I was thinking of visitng him maybe abit sooner but ilk have to talk it out with my parents.. I have the money to book a flight already and i know where to stay and who can take care of me. But its very difficult to convince my parents to let me travel alone because they say im a girl and easily targeted. I wasnt planning to visit him sooner or later until im 21 which is in 5 years and thats extremely long. so i kinda made up my mind, Perhaps ill be able to visit next year after novemeber when im actually 18. And our holidays collide together. meanwhile ill try to convince my parents every once in awhile and talk to a council about it, its draining. id like to attempt to see him every year end once a year until we close the gap. Any advice on what to do and how to convince my parents that im capable of it?

My now ex broke up with me on friday. Im a gamer and all i can think about is her when im not gaming and watching youtube. I'm a mess. I have had people support me and say it will get better. But honestly i know myself and the reality is i dont think i can. I cry everytime i finish gaming i just think about her and how much happiness and joy she gave me. I miss texting her and hoping to put a smile on that cute face of hers. Now i cant, now i cant message her alot or ill become a idiot. there is a small chance we get back together and id do anything to make that a 100% chance. I dunno if i can continue.

I'm really really struggling to cope.

So about a month ago I met this woman through some friends. Nice lady, lets call her Kate. Kate and her husband were down for a couple days because of his work, otherwise they live 3 hours East of me. We hit it off pretty well and she eventually mentions she has a daughter the same age as me and shares some pictures. Let's call her Anna. Nice looking girl, but I doubt I'd ever meet her.

Fast forward to this past week, the couple is back in town for the week and I get a text from Kate saying Anna would be joining them for two days. Kate invites me to go hiking with them that night. Me and Anna hit it off as the night progresses and we all end up hanging out again the next day. Before saying our final farewells, I work up the courage to ask for her number and she agrees and is like "here, give me your phone, I can type it in for you."

Now to the current situation. I texted her last night seeing if she'd be up to going hiking with some friends at this state park that is pretty much in the middle between us. It would be on this next meet up that I'd officially ask her out. She agreed, but between our schedules, we wouldn't have the time to meet up till June. I have no issue waiting a month, cause I truly like this girl and her family. The thing I'm unsure about, is if I should be texting with her during this period. I haven't texted with her on anything beyond our next meet up. Would it be weird for me to now start texting her on more casual subjects. Should I just let the conversation die for the next month. Or should I do something more in the middle, like occasionally text her something here and there that might peek her interest, just to let her know I'm still thinking of her?

I'm quite an amateur at dating and just don't want to do anything that would annoy or turn her off from wanting to meet up again.

He guys buckle up this is a weird ride

So me and my GF are dating for a year now.. We have great relationship overall but lately she seems off.. Anyways

So my GF used to have a guy friend that she met online through a game.. They been friends for 5 years and met irl once I think.. So this guy after 5 years he proposed to her but she said NO so he asked for her sister's contact and started dating.. She blocked him after a while since me and her now are dating.. She used to have him on snap while we were dating as a friend until he confessed his feelings and proposed so she blocked him for me and her sister's sake

So not even 2 months of dating and he already proposed to her sister and they're moving forward with the engagement.. Everyone in the family knows that they knew each other and that he proposed to her before even her sister but weirdly enough they all seem OK with it WTF!??

She told me a million times that she has no feelings for him and everyone in her family keeps asking her about him and if there's anything between them and it's bothering her

She even told me that when he visited her few months ago (which was the first time he saw her sister irl) he proposed to my GF through her mom that day and not even a week later he started dating her sister.. I know I know this is weird like WTF

Anyways the reason I'm writing this is because I think this whole situation is affecting our relationship.. Even tho she says she doesn't care I can feel that she's getting jealous kinda and bothered by her own sister.. She even told me that she had a fight with her sister regarding this dude and that Her sister told her that you have to respect this man since he gonna be your brother in law

Now my question is how can I have a talk with my GF about this topic and clear all things up? Because I feel like she's acting weird and off lately and I want to make sure to have a talk with her that whatever happens with her sister shouldn't affect us, me and her

Any tips on how to tackle this situation without sounding weird or pissing her off like her family since everyone is bringing up this topic to her

If you wanted any more details pls ask

Thank you

My long distance song that I sing to him often is “All I need” by Avery Lynch The song that we consider “our song” is “Forever and Ever and Always” by Ryan Mack We are currently half a world apart now and I guess I’m feeling like being sad so I wanna hear your songs. ❤️

Me (28F) and my long distance boyfriend (30M) have been together for almost a year and 8 months now. We only saw each other for a total of 37 days this entire time, the longest time being 3 weeks and that was 7 months ago.

Before we friends for around 3 years, and out of these 3 years as friends we were around each other for 3-4months.

We both love each other very much, and there is no doubt in that, but the problem is we lack a plan for the future together, we both want to have a future together and get married He says he doesn't know when and how this would happen seeing as he has the responsibility of his own family and is about to buy a house for him and his parents which will put him in a huge debt of around 900k-1M that will probably take him years to pay back, and he won't be able to afford a house for himself anytime soon I'm sure, in addition that his parents are both severely ill.

Obviously when we get married I will be moving to his country, which I don't mind, I will be leaving my own family which I am very close with and moving half way across the world to a whole different community and environment, in addition to the fact that we come from different religious background which I am okay because I am not religious myself but he is and consideres religion a big part of who he is, and I don't mind that either even when we have kids.

Whenever I ask the question about a future or a path forward, I don't get an answer, the only answer I get is that he doesn't know when or how. And he keeps saying there many conversations we need to have before, but he loves me and he doesn't want to lose me. We have been fighting alot recently, it seems every conversation turns into an argument, we're both so tired and drained.

To me it feels like I'm setting myself up? Am I expecting too much of this relationship? I feel like I'm putting to much in? I don't want to have kids in my late 30s, my goal is to have kids no later than 32-33.

I will be seeing him in a few weeks and we will discuss all the issues but I'm lost because I love this man so much, he has helped me so much in many ways and made me a better person. Are we even going to resolve those issues? Or are ignoring the inevitable?

I'm currently in a ldr. He lives in the US and I live in Canada. I was just wondering if anyone here has any experience with moving from Canada to the US, what the process was like, and how you went about it.

Thanks in advance!

.. I'm sorry...I know I sound terrible...but I know what life is like with an irresponsible and lazy man...and I don't want this to be my life..🤷🏻‍♀️. I have been in a long-distance relationship with a man for about a year... I am an Arab Muslim girl... He born Muslim .... and( his father is a Muslim and from my country..). but he is not a Muslim, but he says that he will become a Muslim in order to marry me......But the way he thinks and speaks about Islam shows that he hates Islam and the Arabs... and this is because his father treated him badly to the point that he used to beat them and threaten to kill them... I believed what he said and I was happy, but with time I discovered that he is a very, very lazy and pessimistic person. However, I said it was okay. I could motivate him to change for the better. For example, he would finish his studies, obtain a high school diploma, get a job, and lose weight.....but he don't want to change or move, and I... I am really very confused. I loved him and I do not want to break his heart, but I do not want to destroy my life by marrying an irresponsible person who does not want to leave his comfort zone.... Am I wrong about this...!? Am I a terrible person!?...😣😣 There is an issue that happened recently, which is that he posted a Snapchat story by mistake and it contained a sexual snapshot with the hand of another person, perhaps a woman..... This happened during a period in which he said that he went with his mother to another city and stayed in a hotel..... He... He did not pay attention to the story that he had put by mistake, and when I saw it and pointed to it, he deleted his Snapchat account and said that he had been hacked and that the hacker had set the story.... I did not believe it, so I think that ....I do not know if I can say that he chet in me..but I think hé did........ However, I really don't want to break his heart and be a terrible person ....and I really don't know what to do🥲🥲🥺🥺

Vent.

My 4 year ldr feels like it's coming to an end. My bf, got diagnosed with cancer last year and I notice the more time that passes, the less interested he is in us or life in general. It's been well over a month since he said he loved me and he ignores my messages. The only way I know he's still around is because I see him on Steam everyday playing games. Sometimes I think he wants me to break up with him but I don't want to give up.

I've been thinking of ways to let him know I care and how much I love him but being in different countries makes things very difficult. I can't just go over and take care of him which breaks my heart. It's such a strange and frustrating thing, having strong emotions towards someone from across the globe. It's definitely not for everyone, and it's not something I can explain to my family either. My mom already told me to not believe that he is in fact sick among other not so nice things which is what brings me here. I've been going thru different posts and there are so many nice and positive stories. I hope to bring a positive one too one day but the way things are going, I just don't know anymore :(

I am 27F and my husband is 28M. We know each other since 1.5 years now and got married a year back. My husband looks at other girls in bikinis to fap, loses errection very quickly and doesn’t acknowledge that he loves me apart from him saying I love you. He’s a nice and caring husband otherwise. We are in an LDR for the next 7 months. We chose to marry each other ourselves because we developed some strong feelings for each other very early on and the. Families got involved and we got married. It bothers me that he is not really in love with the me. He says ‘I love you’ but there’s no depth in this love. I just need validation that what I am feeling is ok to feel. I don’t think he loves me and that just makes me sad.

burner account because my other reddit account username is associated with my actual name and likeness and im kinda private about my relationship because my gf is an undocumented person. 20M from London, England in a 2 year 6 month relationship with 23F from Washington, USA.

Im planning to go to WA, USA in december this year and already kinda started to plan. im a university student so im not drowning in money but im not looking for a budget meetup. flight and hotel has been sorted (5 star which looks decent and cosy).

apart from that, I have no idea how im going to be romantic or make the most of the trip. ive lurked on this subreddit for the longest time listening to the countless success stories, meetups and etc and everytime i try to think of ideas to impress her or make it a good time for both of us, nothing good really comes to mind.

everytime i ask her for ideas and stuff she just says shes happy to spend time with me anywhere and she doesnt care as long as shes with me...

...however...

whilst im terrible with words and being "romantic", i do wanna spoil her and impress her because simply put she just deserves it. shes perfect.

any advice appreciated.

im shaking and crying and my heart hurts i’ve never experienced heartbreak before as my past relationships i really didn’t care tbh …

over miscommunication he broke up w me, he just assumed me asking a question (what time he woke up !) that i was trying to fight, ignored me for over a day and then texted me saying he needs time to think about if he’ll break up w me bc if he does he’s not going back ever

no matter how many times i said i wasn’t even fighting he refuses to even care he just is stuck being mad at me and assuming i was… i blocked him everywhere bc if he wanted to be with me he wouldn’t have needed time to think in the first place

how do i heal heart break … i never wanna be i a relationship again nobody was like him 💔💔💔 and ill never be the same again