So me and my bf have been in an ldr for almost a year now and I have a very weak passport but I'm trying to get a visa so I can move in with him but the thing is it has been toxic he has been cold and distant it isn't the first time but when I talk to him about it and ask why he says I don't want a ldr cause it hurts both of us then he goes back to normal after a couple of days he does have bpd and yeah I admit it I do text alot and want to call a lot but it's better than nothing and I feel him it does get annoying from time to time but the thing is I have trust issues and I really really love him and don't wanna lose him so idk how to cope or what to do I would really appreciate some advice.

So I’m in a long distance relationship since 2 years. I’m a guy and my gf is in another university. We love each other very much.

I’m in Germany for a placement this rather than us both being in the UK. I stayed with her for 10 days in October as I was in the UK to get my German visa. Since then I’ve been in Germany and living in hotels, etc and only recently found a house. Due to that, we haven’t been able to talk as freely as we usually do but I’ve made the strong effort to talk often and we have. She’s had a super tough year and has leaned on me for support. She also lost her grandmother as she had a brain stoke and is a vegetable now sadly. A day after that I took a train to her (the plan was for 2-3 days later than this) when I was in the UK and we spent 3 days together before she went back to India to see her. She cried in my arms about this and I was able to comfort her a bit. After she came back I was with her for 7 days more in October. So till October we felt as close and connected as ever. However over the last month where she’s been less expressive.

About 2 weeks ago she expressed she wasn’t able to talk to me as much since I’ve been in hotels. In a text convo she said she felt like she had to keep things in because I was in hotels and talking to her in the lobby. I said I’ll always make time for her and she only needs to tell me when she needs me and wants to vent.

So due to all of this, until the the last month where she’s been less expressive (it’s 5 December as of when I wrote all this and her bday was on 2nd. I was with her till 23 October in the UK and things were all normal until early November), I have felt as tightly connected to her as ever, and I know she has too.

However I also noticed for the last 3 weeks (since maybe 5-6 days after I came to Germany), she’s not said I love you even once on her own, or maybe once when I mentioned this, which is rare for her. Then, last week after a day of me moving into my new house she messaged me “can we talk about us” and I thought maybe we might break up, although that was a throwaway intrusive thought. However that night she mentioned the “distance” and I mentioned her not being as expressive as usual and whenever I asked her why she’s not saying I love you, she said she doesn’t know. It bothered me and I told her to stop acting distant (because she told me she does this when she misses me to protect herself from feeling the hurt, and I’ve noticed it before and we’ve talked about this). Then a couple of days after that, we called when I finally was settled, and it felt more normal and relaxed. A day or two after that was her birthday and we had a great call, where we both agreed now the atmosphere was more like our normal routine.

Then a day after the birthday, I got this text from her.

“I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about us over the past few weeks, and I know you’ve felt me pulling away. This isn’t easy for me to say, but I’ve come to a really difficult decision that I need to share with you. First, I want to make it clear that I care about you deeply, and I’ll forever appreciate the time we’ve spent together and the memories we’ve made. However, the long distance has become something I’m struggling with more than I expected. It’s not just the physical distance, but the emotional strain as well. I feel increasingly disconnected, and it’s been really hard for me to maintain the same closeness we once had. This isn’t something I’m saying lightly, and it breaks my heart to do this, but I truly believe it’s time for me to let go. Every goodbye is becoming harder than the last, and I can’t keep going on like this.”

I caller and we talked more and decided to continue. But in the call she said it was the uncertainty of the future that was making her lose faith along with everything she’s lost ranging from her grandparents to her dog in the last hesd. She also said “everyone leaves”. She also said she’d like us to live together forever and she loves me a too too much and too bits. I convinced her that we have something real and are so close to the finish line till she gets a job, when we will have more free time in 6 months and meet each other every 2 weeks rather than 2 months like we have managed till now.

However I still felt uncertain after the fall hurting that this is how she envisaged maybe ending things. At the time it was like a shock and ny heart felt hollow, because just a day before we’d had a very wholesome call and watched a romcom for her bday. I was the first person to wish her too. Although even then there was no I love you. Even the day of her bday (a day before the text) when she got me card and flowers, she only said that’s so sweet and not I love you like she usually does, so that was in the back of my mind too. It also made sense to me when I got the text because of the lack of expression.

We called a couple days later where I expressed my doubts about the text being different from the conversion, but she seemed reclusive and less responsive. I told her she needs to hang in because she said she felt unhappy in life and unmotivated about everything, unsure about her jobs, unsure about how much we can meet and wants to feel numb.

A couple hours after this call she called me and said she was reading the last part of the message she sent “every goodbye hurts” and then eventually said she can’t do this anymore. I tried to convince but eventually gave up because it was emotionally tiring for me. We decided to meet in person this weekend (14 December) because I said I still want us to have this conversation in person even though the implication was that it’s over. A day after we talked to discuss our tickets for the hotel and she hadn’t reconsidered the beak up. She was also hesitant to stay together but I said I need us to because there are some things I need to share with her and need the time.

I also know she’s scared because of her parents’ bad relationship and doesn’t like the hurt when we are apart. But it just confuses me how she went from saying she loves me too much and wants to spend her life with me to not being able to fight. I know it’s because the grief of all her losses has finally hit her and she’s lost hope and feels numb, but it still frustrates me because surely in this situation one would want to hang on their love in an even stronger way?

I need advice on how to approach this meeting on the weekend. I’ve written a 14 page letter that I plan to give her in case we decide to end it because it has all my feelings and everything I’ve wanted to tell her.

My LDR ex and I were in an emotionally intense on-and-off LDR relationship for almost 2 years. He thought I was the one and his soulmate as we bonded over a lot of things. It was a pretty deep connection between the two of us although we were both wary things could be different in person.

We broke up the 1st time as he needed some space after a health diagnosis and wanting to focus on his son (never married, co-parenting). However, I later found out he was on dating sites already and even followed one of his exes. It devastated me and I was a total mess at the time. I was blindsided. The post-BU was messed up too.

Two to three months later, we reconnected and he decided to pursue things with us the same way I wanted it as we were still both emotionally connected. It was me who reached out first to reconcile so I could finally walk away without regrets of the what-ifs. I promised myself to make it right this time for the two of us. However, there was so much mixed signals and push-and-pull which went on for almost 4 months. He decided to put a label on the 4th month when I was finally trying to let him go and move on. We got back together.

Just short of 3 months, we broke up again because of the pettiest reason I know (I tagged him on some posts which is pretty normal when you find something amusing). I understood he wanted some boundaries about it but decided separating was the best choice. He said he was hurt with his decision but continued with the BU.

Barely even 3 months out of our 2nd BU, he was on dating sites again and got on with someone from my country. He was messaging me and was still flirting and intimate at times, but never wanted to fix things yet and to take it slow. He didn't know I already knew. I was waiting for him to say it. He kept it well-hidden from me and was asking for friendship between us.

I finally told him in an email I already knew about it and he suddenly flicked the switch. I asked him to block me prior to this because I couldn't bear the thought of him being there without fixing things between us.

How many times we decided to meet? Four times since we started talking, and he was even planning to meet me while he was with someone new.

Barely 5 months into their relationship, he flew a thousand miles away to our country to meet this new woman. It was another kind of heartbreak. I was thinking of restricting his mum to not get connected anymore, but his mum was a good person and we are friends.

The lessons I learned:

• If they wanted, they would.

• Never ignore the red flags early on.

• Never invest too much of yourself unless you're sure you are both the right person for each other. Much better to meet in person as soon as you can.

• When someone knows it's you they want, they will do the effort no matter what it takes. (We were both in love and wanted to meet, planned even, but it was me who initiated most of it. Near the end of our communication, I told him he couldn't take the lead. Now, he's overcompensating his shortcomings in our relationship with someone new.)

• It's not all emotions, make sure your values and long-term goals align.

• Trust once broken, is hard to mend. (The 2nd BU, I was still working on trusting him fully as he made me so anxious with our dynamic. During our 1st BU, him being on dating sites and following one of his exes made me lose so much trust. I thought it was easy to fix, but I realized it's hard to trust again once it's broken the first time around. The love was there for sure; I was still working on trusting wholly until he broke things off.)

• Healing takes time, it isn't linear. (Even 8 months out of our relationship, I'm still in the process of letting go of the past and accepting things. However, it was intensified again when I got the news of him coming over here to meet someone — something we planned many times. I was future-faked but not the new person.)

I wish you all success here and to close the distance very soon. My LDR story wasn't a success, but I learned so much from it. I might be just a bump on the road for him to meet the right person he really wants but I am always grateful for the love we shared although I clearly ignored the red flags. It was a lesson learned for me.

My friend has completely quit video games and i'm very glad for him. The only problem is that we don't live close by so we have no other way to currently bond. I've noticed that after he quit we've been growing more and more apart, and I was wondering what we could do instead? The reason why he doesn't want to play video games is because he doesn't want to get addicted like before, but i'm trying to convince him that playing a little bit a day is fine. What else can we do online to spend time together?

I will delete if this is the wrong place to put this question. But do you think a long distance relationship will be more likely to last if you meet earlier in life (meaning as in starting dating as teens) or would it be more likely to last if you met later in life? (meaning around 30's/40's ect)

Me (22 F) and him (21 M) have been talking since August 2023...I've never had a boyfriend before...I've had ups and downs with him, initially we were friends for a year apart, then we had a gap where we didn't talk, then since July 2024 we've been talking again this time with much more serious intentions and I really think I love him more than ever. We still haven't seen each other at all because I kept refusing because I didn't think it was appropriate at the time or the situation didn't fit. We talk on the phone every day, I'm a medical student and my schedule is super full, but he's with me on video call even when I'm studying or on the phone when I'm cleaning the house or cooking. For 4 months we've been sleeping every night on the call and talking until late even though we both have full schedules and wake up early. We're going to see each other for the first time on New Year's Eve, I'm not exactly the skinniest person, I'm a 5'9 girl, quite big... lately it seems like I've gained quite a bit of weight and I'm afraid he won't be attracted to me physically, I know our souls are extremely close but that's exactly why I wouldn't want him to be with me if he's not attracted to me physically. We've been through a lot together, we've laughed, we've cried, we've been there for each other in hard times, I know I've helped him in many ways and he's told me he feels really good about me, but I'm extremely afraid to meet him because he might not find me attractive. Because I've never been in a relationship before he's trying not to lust things between us, but I don't know if he's trying to keep me happy or if he's just not attracted to me that way. I'm extremely afraid of disappointing him.

I (23F) am about to meet my bf (23M) for the first time this Friday and I couldn't be happier!! The only issue is my mom. I still live at home while I finish my studies. I was hesitant to tell her that I was going to see him because I knew how she would react. I finally told her today that I was going to see him and she just bluntly said that I was making it easier for him. I already knew she would say something like this since she's mentioned in the past how I sound very easy (mind you this is the first bf I ever presented to her). She said some more hurtful things about me and him and I just left because I couldn't hear more. I told my bf and he said that why does she make it sound like I'm interested in you for something?? (He lives in Mexico and I'm in the U.S., he's referring to the common stereotype that Mexicans only marry U.S. citizens for citizenship). He made me feel better and I know I shouldn't let it bother me but part of me still wanted my mom to be a bit supportive; I'll be telling my dad later hoping his reaction will be a bit more positive. I just needed a quick vent to organize my thoughts before I go to see him.

I'm waiting at the airport for him right now

I'm hyperventilating

I'm nervous

Ahhhh

I went wedding ring shopping today to get prices on a custom ring for her.

I can't explain in words what that felt like.

After 6 long and wonderful and difficult years of being on different continents, we are finally going to be able to move in together and start our life in the same house, in the some time zone, in 2025.

Jeez it's been work being apart for all this time and it's been emotionally exhausting, but every second of it has been worth it to be with her. I would do it all over again.

The jeweller said he's taking orders again from January, and I can't wait to get it made.

I can't wait for the visa to be sorted.

I can't wait to be with her again, for good.

Hi, me and my girlfriend are both 16. I live in the UK and she lives in poland, but my family comes from poland so we go there almost every holiday and I get to sneak out and go on some trains to see her every few months when I get the chance xd.

Recently, she said she has been losing feelings for me. It's not that she has less of them but more like sometimes she's normal and everything is fine but sometimes she cant even say ily back to me. we have talked about this a lot, and she recently has had quite a lot of things going on in her life resulting in her going to therapy soon too which might be the cause of this. Things seem to have gotten better for her mentally and for a few days everything seemed fine but today she once again had this where she just couldn't say ily back to me and it worries me. I have given her some advice and im trying everything in my power to help her but idk what to do anymore. ive told her stuff like getting closer to religion and im trying to spend more time with her in general (its long distance so spending time is more like playing games or video calling together). she also wants to regain feelings back towards me but shes saying that she has no idea if she can bc its out of her control and shes starting to lose faith a little but shes doing whatever she can.

i really love her, but its hard for me to deal with her not being able to say ily back. especially because recently (i dont want to go into too much depth on this) shes been going thru stuff and she said a lot of hurtful things to me which really fucked with my mental well being. i dont blame her for this bc she was obviously not mentally well and she is going to go to therapy on january so hopefully that will help. we are going to meet on december 22nd, because my christmas break starts around there and ill be in poland by then so i have a chance to see her.

can anyone give me some advice on what i can try to do to help her regain her feelings? i feel like i could pretty much do anything for her bc i rely on her a lot, as shes the only person i have in life who i feel comfortable speaking to about all my problems and opening up to.

I (18M) with my girlfriend (turning 18F soon) since August and everything was going so smoothly because we weren't really far from eachother other (We were in the UAE with a difference of 20 minutes car ride). On October, she traveled to Spain and stuffis still going good, we do calls, play, and talk, but sometimes she's out with friends and can't text me around them because she's the only one with a boyfriend and doesn't want the others to be jealous of her and try to ruin our relationship, because they also tried to get a partner and ended up with a rejection or a heartbreak, so she decided not to tell them about me, but yesterday was a heartbreak for me.. so what happened is that I sent her every morning a Good morning on 7am voice message with kisses and stuff and also tell her how I love her, but she haven't listened to it yet (She doesn't all the time doesn't listen to my voice messages sometimes Il still can't figure out why), then on 5pm she told me I'm sick, she ignored my previous texts and voice messages and told me that she's sick, I was driving at that time, was like 15 mins away from home and couldn't take my phone up, so instead I replied using my watch that I'm on my way home, when I returned, I sent her a lot of texts if she's alright or not and how she's doing for 4-5 hours without getting a response, then on 11PM she texted back telling me that she's lost, I found out from there that she's out and not home,I sent multiple more texts and messages without getting a reply. I ended up sleeping with my phone open (it closed later).. little did I know.. WhatsApp got a problem and wasn't working properly yesterday, so I haven't heard or feel (I wear a watch in my sleep incase she needs something) her 5 texts and 1 miss call.. I woke up after 5 mins of the miss call, and was sad/mad at me for not responding I just woke up at the moment I didn't know what was going on..I tried telling her my reason but she didn't want to hear it and told me she wants to sleep,I told her that she can't sleep like this and at this mood, she slept anyway. I called her, she declined (She declined because WhatsApp calling is banned in the UAE so we decline and respond through texts) and responded through text but didn't reply again, so I called the second time and she declined without opening the phone, I started panicking with a high BPM of 120 while laying and resting, I mnanaged to calm down to 80-90BPM..I tried getting up and go to the bathroom, but I ended up losing my vision and lose my balance which caused me to fall on my right ear and bleed from the from that area.. fell on something that I still don't know what it is and it caused the bleeding to happen. couldn't sleep until 3am and then woke up for work and university at 7am sending her good morning texts and not voice messages also telling her that I feel unheard.. she saw the messages on 12am and left me hanging.l'm still shaking and having random high BPMs reaching 140BPM (I'm currently at 79BPM) and I don't know what to do.I'm sad.. feel left out by nearly everyone.. no one values me as a friend, they use me for my knowledge with technology and not to spend time.. I hate how stuff is going with me and this adds a cherry on top of the dessert. I don't know.. what to do and how to act.. I feel sick.

Hi other long distance people! I'm just really needing some reassurance i suppose, I'm having an issue, not specifically to do with MY relationship but the whole long distance thing is causing this i think. Basically I (f20) have been with my boyfriend (m22) for almost a year now. We see eachother about once a month so we do well. But there's obviously things we both miss out on through not seeing eachother all the time. My brother (m21) has been with his girlfriend (f21 ) for about 5 months now and everyone seems to agree their relationship has moved very fast. My boyfriend was only just meeting my family 5 months in but she is already around our house constantly and she's invited to all the family events which my BF cannot attend as he's not around enough. The thing is, I have always been completely pleasant with her and put in lots of effort to make her feel welcome. But I'm starting to dislike her and I think it stems from jealousy because she's literally at every single family event and my boyfriend isn't. As it's the holiday season we're all seeing each other a lot and she's invited to all my families traditions including our annual meal on Xmas eve and she's even coming over on Christmas day. And it feels hard because my boyfriend was never even invited to any of it except the big family gatherings. I know he wasn't invited because they assume he won't be around which is fine. The issue is that im starting to feel resentment against my brother and his girlfriend over this and I know its not their fault. I also find it really hard whenever she leaves, she lives a 20 minute drive from us, that she gets really upset and she cries almost every time one of them leave, again I know I sound like a villain because its just how she feels but in that moment it just makes me mad to think about how much i wish i was in a 20 minute drive kind of relationship where I dint go longer than 3 days without him and shes hysterically crying about it. I just wonder if anyone else experiences this kind of jealousy over their long distance or if there's something wrong with me? 🥲🤣

Hey everyone, I visited my girlfriend for the first time in September and it was the best time in my life. She's from India and I am from Germany so it will take some time until we see eachother in person again.

Of course we took lots of pics for memory sake but I never felt super photogenic and didn't like it too much at the time. In hindsight however I wish I we would have taken even more pictures and videos.

Especially videos, just put the phone down somewhere when you spend time alone and film eachother eating, being playful, making out (whatever you are comfortable with on video). Just seeing how you interact with your partner, how they react to the stuff you do and how happy they are around you is so magical. It can be painful watching these sometimes because it just makes you miss them so much but at the same time it's just a overdose of positive emotions.

So please, take some more quick snaps in between or film the two of you! Of course being in the moment and focus on the limited time you got together is also important.

I personally am working extra hard and try to save up enough so I can visit her again as soon as possible and also get her a promise ring this time because I regret not having brought one the first time we met.

Best of luck to everyone

He will be here in almost 3 hours

Ahhhh

I'll keep you guys updated because I'm so nervous. I will leave in 20 minutes to go to my friends place because she's coming with me to pick him up from the airport

Hi everyone,

I (24F) am currently in a long-distance relationship with my boyfriend (25M). I live in the UAE, and he is in India right now, busy preparing for his move to the UK for higher studies. We've been managing the long distance pretty well so far—our fights are rare, and even when we do argue, we usually resolve things within 12 hours (often fighting at night and making up the next morning).

I work from 8 AM to 6 PM, and while I have time to talk, he’s been busy with family and his UK preparations. Despite his busy schedule, he calls me during the day for 5-10 minutes just to update me, which I really appreciate.

That said, there are days when I feel like he spends more time with his friends than me, even though he assures me he’s busy. I understand his situation and try to be understanding, but sometimes it does get to me.

Now, with him moving to the UK, I’m worried about how our relationship will hold up. It’s already a long-distance relationship, but this move might make things even harder. I’m scared that the added distance, time differences, and his busier schedule might strain our bond.

I love him and want to make this work, but I’d appreciate advice from others who’ve been in similar situations. How can I prepare for this new phase in our relationship? Are there any tips for maintaining emotional intimacy despite the challenges?

Thanks for reading, and I’d really appreciate your thoughts!

Hi y'all! I'm 18M and my partner is also 18M, we've been together for 5 years and after a few years of considering where to move, I've decided to move in with him in the UK(Northern Ireland), but I'm only an American and Canadian citizen.

I've done a bit of research, and from what I can tell marriage alone doesn't grant citizenship(which isn't happening until we're financially stable anywho), so I'm curious, which paths could I realistically take? Has anyone here done this? Thanks in advance.

NEED ADVICE ON LONG DISTANCE SITUATION?!! M20 F21.

Ok so for starters I am just turned 20/M and she is going to be 21/F in March. We are not dating! I just didn’t know where else to ask about this lol. So for context I met her online 2 months back and we started to text each other back and fourth throughout the day. She’s a lot different of a girl I would normally go for too which I think makes it more interesting. I’ll just say the distance between us is roughly 1k miles so not unobtainable but definitely not convenient. With a good amount of back and fourth texting she invited me to her birthday that comes up in March in her home state. She told me she’s getting an air bnb for everyone and we were all going to hangout for the week. On paper this sounds absolutely amazing but I’m skeptical of a few things. For starters I’ve been in and out of relationships the last 4 years but this one I’m more in love than I have been in any of those. So I’ve already caught some hardcore feelings. I opened up to her and told her I’m honestly catching feelings and starting to fall in love which she then responded not really with anything against it at all but not really a clear indication on how she felt. But she’s continued to talk to me just as much. And today she brought up her trip again and said she wants me to come and wouldn’t even make me pay a split on the Airbnb since she wanted me to really come. So as of now you might be wondering why I’m even on here but it takes a turn that for me is giving me mixed signals. So she’s inviting 3 other people besides me. Which all happen to be MEN. She refers to everyone as “friends” but I’m not really aware with some of these so called friends and what their past relationship is even like with her. I’m the newest of the friends and she’s known the rest of them for I’d say anywhere from a year +. And this would be the first time she even meets any of them too IRL. What confuses me is that one of the guys has openly confessed to me that he’s basically in love with this girl too and that worries me. I know for fact I’m not in competition with him based on just him in general, he’s not the most charming I’ll just say. But it’s the fact that I’m very in the dark here about a lot of details and I’m wanting to know your guys opinions on the situation and what I should do? On paper if I knew that she was equally into me on a more than friends level I’m all in to go because it would be a bunch of fun, but I don’t really know where things stand.

I will pick him up from the airport in almost 6 hours. I'm so nervous I couldn't really sleep

I will start to get ready now

So last month I matched with this guy on Bumble, he's American and he was visiting my country for a week and a half. I was excited because I love interacting with people from other cultures and he was exactly my type. I was initially not thinking much into this match since he was only visiting for a week and a half and he said he is with a tour and probably wouldnt be coming to my city but flying out to the USA from some other place. However, he turned out to be a very respectful, sweet and genuine guy who was looking for something serious. Most foreigners I came across are only looking for casual but this guy was different and to this date, he has never asked me for nudes or any sexting. He would engage in these long, long conversations with me on text and honestly, at first he came on so strong it weirded me out. He clarified that he is very mildly on the spectrum ( no experience of this) and that may be a reason he is a bit socially awkward. Anyway, over time I became invested in these daily texts and the fact that he was almost everything I had been looking for so far ( I have had horrible dating experiences in my country and I am not remotely attracted to anyone tbh) and luckily his tour was leaving for the USA from my city and we were able to meet up for two hours at the airport before his flight. I was very happy I wasn't being catfished and he was even better to talk to and look at in person. After he went to the USA, he asked me to come over there and he would pay for my tickets and host me at his house. Its honestly very complicated from my side because I come from a conservative family and I still live at home ( cultural norm) and I dont know what excuse I could possibly make ( they would cross check everything) to go to the other side of the world and stay in a country I have never been to before. On top of that, going to house, which is god knows where, all alone and staying there is so scary when I have only met him once since I would be absolutely vulnerable there with no way out. I wanted him to come here once more and we could spend some time in a hotel and just chill, but he was understandbly not enthusiastic since he has JUST gone back. Over time the frequency of this texts has reduced and even though he asks me about my day whenever he does message, its gone from coming and staying online for an hour when we are both awake ( massive time difference between us) to 10+ hour gaps and now a whole day with a single message asking me how I am and nothing else. I did confront him about it and at first he said he has work to do now and isnt on vacation anymore as before but then he said he has also been depressed since his trip thinking about where he is in life and apologised repeatedly about not being in touch.

A few weeks ago his bumble account was also very active and his location, bio and pics were updated. I cant really get angry at him about it because its not like he has asked me to be his girlfriend as of yet or anything but I did mention it to him and he said the app probably did it automatically since he has the paid version ( which is a lie and damaged his credibility in my eyes as he has been truthful about everything before this). His bio and pics again changed after this conversation so yeah. Honestly I have an account too but I would be happy to delete it if he had asked me about it but he obviously hasnt even bothered to check mine and it makes me feel all of the effort now is on my part. I had been seriously looking for a way to go there and maybe stay in a hotel there but now idk. Whenever he messages me on snap, his snapscore doesnt change a lot so I guess he isnt ignoring my messages deliberately or messaging loads of other people but I am at my wit's end here on what to do. His messages were less frequent but he seemed flirty and happy when we were talking a week ago I dont know how this has popped up all of a sudden. This lack of contact is bothering me so much its affecting my day, should I ask him to just take a break if he cant communicate properly right now and let me know when he feels better enough to talk? Or would that be insensitive and put him off? I am also hoping doing this would make him put more effort into talking or clear some stuff out.

it's not even about the distance, although that does make it a lot more complicated. we've been together for 1 and a half year and sometimes i just don't feel my need being met emotionally speaking. and it's gonna be really ridiculous what i'm about to type but i wish she would be a bit more jealous of me sometimes. it's hard to admit but a few times i have tried to make her feel that way just so i could see if she would (she didn't, every time she demonstrates i know she's kidding). i know it's stupid but i just feel like something she wouldn't mind losing and it makes me so sad :(

i told her a story about a friend who's in a relationship (not ldr) and this friend felt the hots over someone else. she thought it was no big deal and that "it happens". i know it does happen sometimes but i can't help but wonder how she herself would react if it was her, you know? she was so unfazed by it, while i felt like it was kind of reprehensible of my friend to dance so close to a man who isn't her boyfriend and keep doing it even though she was feeling 'things'. would my girlfriend do the same since she thought it was no big deal? we're so far away, and would she never tell me because she knows how i would feel now?

sorry for this venting, i just started typing and words kept coming. i needed this and i need someone else to tell me i'm not the only one or insane or toxic for feeling like this.

I 29F have be absolutely SUFFERING lately. My bf 28M lives several states away and we only see each other once a month for a few days. All of which we barely leave the bedroom. I’ve struggled with hypersexuality most of my adult life. I’m used to sex daily to multiple times a day mostly and with long distance that’s not possible. Also we don’t do ft sex or really sexting, his preference because he says it just makes him miss it more. Which is very true anytime he even sends me something remotely sexy it’s all I can’t think about for hours. My horniness lately has made it feel like I cannot breathe or function and toys are hardly doing it for me. I crave him. I don’t know how to help it or perhaps medication? Do any other women suffer from something similar. What helps you? I just want to stop being like this all the time. It’s affecting my daily life.

That's the gist of it but here's some more details if you want.

We've only been talking for a couple weeks but we've been talking a ton everyday. I'm 19 and she's 21. She's absolutely incredible and I feel infatuated even though I have found some of her flaws. But unfortunately she lives 800 miles away. We've been talking about the potential of a long distance relationship and what that would look like for us but we both want to take our time and meet at least once before we get official or anything. We've been a bit sexual with each other and have done stuff over the phone, once we meet up we really want to take each other's virginities. I'm worried that if we get in a long distance relationship we will have trouble finding time to communicate considering that she is going into med school to be a surgeon and I'm going into architecture school.

Before meeting her I spent like a year trying everything I could think of to get a girlfriend either through the internet or through meeting people in person. I got really lucky considering that the first real person to show interest in me is this incredible.

im assuming this goes here im not sure.

anyway im 22 and so is my partner, so young.

this is my first relationship, i also stuggle with mental health alot. we meet on discord and lived an hour from eachother but i moved to a different state. i have no idea if i should continue the relationship, im in a mental health episode at the moment.

im asking myself. if i see myself with him long term and honestly i dont. prior to me moving i did. idk if thats my mental illness speaking or if its cause this is my first relationship.

i dont want to break up cause out 1 year annivesary is next month and i feel like thatll be shitty timing but also i do love him i just dont think im in love with him.

ultimitly i dont want to hurt him and idk what to do.

should i wait till the spring or summer to have a full disscusion about this?

we have had a talk about it a tad but not in detail, theses feelings are new.

i don't have friends to ask advice of this so im asking reditt. lol

We met while I was visiting his city/country at the beginning of this year. He made it clear from the beginning that he has struggled with LDR in the past. I thought our connection would fizzle out once I came back to my city/country, but he continued talking to me very regularly. He was hyperfixating on me and was very open about his ADHD and dyslexia. Also gave me a heads up that there might be days when he would not be responsive because of how his ADHD works and that it doesn't mean he doesn't like me. After 3-4 weeks of talking very regularly we had the conversation about giving LDR a shot--we hadn't been going on dates or talking to other potential dates in our respective cities because we wanted to see where this goes. I travelled to his country thrice after this (I have family in that same city so it is like a second home to me). During these trips we travelled together and lived together as well. Everything is great in person, and most of the questions I had about our compatibility were answered more or less.

He has moved to a different country, not too far from the previous one, recently for his job (he had told me about this upcoming move from day 1). He has mostly been overwhelmed with all the settling in stuff and we were barely talking in the first three weeks of his move (laptop broke down, internet wasn't working properly in the new place). Things have definitely improved in terms of our communication once these issues were fixed, but some weeks are better than others. Some days he would talk to me all day on video call but other days he wouldn't respond. This has happened earlier in the relationship too and I mostly didn't take it personally. It helped that he had warned me about it + I don't require 24/7 communication anyway--I have a thriving life of my own. But I am running low on patience and I am getting hurt by all of this even though he has told me he doesn't do it intentionally and he is trying his best. He has told me it doesn't mean he is taking me for granted or doesn't like me but "out of sight, out of mind" is very real for him and when I am not there physically with him, it's like I am not part of his life. When I tell him to end it because clearly it's not working, he doesn't and asks me to give him some time to figure it all out. Oh and he's a perfectionist.

I want to visit him even though it will be a lot more complicated because of visa and accomodation stuff. But he keeps telling me this wouldn't be a good time, he's very busy with work and he probably won't be able to spend quality time with me and he would feel very guilty if that happened. I know his career is in transition right now and I want to be patient but I am struggling. Also, he can't express affection in words and his way of showing love is by doing things together in person. So all of this combined, I don't feel seen or loved. I adore him and I don't want to give up because I know he is a good guy (our trust is very strong) and I do feel loved and cared for when I am with him in person. Not sure how much of this is his untreated adhd and how much just lack of effort/interest.

What do I do? Any advice/thoughts?

So here is the deal: my boyfriend [M/26] and I are both from New England but despite mutual friends, having the same major in college, a life-long love of the same sport, and both moving to London, we met sish years after we could and should have, and a year after I moved to London.

We started as tennis hitting partners and after 5 months of tension, we fell for each other hard. 5 months into our relationship though, I had to move to Chicago to go back to school and pursue my dreams.

So we are doing long distance now. He calls right when he gets out of work, texts me, visits me as much as he can. I'm visiting him in London this winter and he is making me send him a list of materials I need so that I can make artwork from his apartment while I'm there. But the one thing he doesn't do is tell me he is horny for me. Ever. And I tell him all the time. l've tried to initiate video sex twice, but I worry he is doing it for me and is not enjoying it himself.

I cannot tell if he is too emotionally distressed about the distance, or if our libidos are incompatible (when we are together, they seem to be the same). He's an incredible boyfriend in so many ways, and I feel' crap for being resentful towards the lack of sexu energy and play he's giving our long distance relationship. I worry he isn't attracted to me physically any more. I also worry that maybe he's experiencing some anxiety at work, and in my absence, it seems to have gotten a lot worse.

Bottom line: I'm a female sculptor in my twenties, and while we all got our insecurities, I know I'm hot and keep things interesting in bed. I initiate phone sex, I tell him how handsome and attractive I think he is, I tell him all the things I miss about being with him physically, and he gives back very little. I love him so so much, but the LD sex issues are making me question things. What do I do?

Hello everyone, I (38M) usa , girlfriend (37F) UK

I'm looking for advice on how to close the gap with my partner. They are British. I'm an American.

How did you close the gap?

Is it easier to get my partner American status if we got married?

Would I get British citizenship if we got married? I have no idea how any of this works

For those of you that didn't get married and wanted to be closer to each other. What did you do? And how were you able to find a happy medium location to live if you weren't able to stay in your partners country?

Sometimes I don't like the movies we watch that he suggest, so I just look at his face (on screen) the whole time.

Me(18) and my girlfriend(18) have big problem and i dont know what to do

Maybe im overreacting but for the first time ive encountered the problem that i dont know how to solve. Im not with her for a long time but i love her like i know her whole life and generally everything was more or less fine until now, we had some quarrels and misunderstandings but i always knew how to find way out of it but this time i just dont know because it looks like problem is deep.

From the beginning we had such regime that we were always available to each other, of course there were some moments when we couldnt chat a lot or when some of us didnt have internet but generally we chatted a lot but since she started with college it changed a lot. It didnt touch me that she messaged me less while she was at college, i mean its normal and im also sometimes busy at my school but i didnt like that when she would go with her friends from college somewhere after the college she often wouldnt tell me that she is going so id often be worried or something. I clearly told her many times that id really like if she could at least tell me when she is going somewhere after classes because im worried and i also added that it would be ideal if she could message me at least a bit if she knows that she will stay longer since she also demands it from me but i didnt really insist on that part. She showed interest to change that but until this moment nothing really changed in her attitude, i swallowed this but it still sometimes makes me angry since she doesnt miss a chance to get upset when i dont message her for a longer time which makes me sad because i dont like to see her upset even tho when i know that i didnt do something wrong. This part was ruining our relationship for a long time from inside because i was silent about this problem because i saw there is no point in discussing the same thing 20 times if nothing is changing.

The things became extremely hard recently when she decided to find some part time job. She found it because as she said she doesnt want to sit bored at home and she wants to get some money but the important detail is that she doesnt have to work at all, even her parents are against it. To be honest i dont have anything against her working but the fact she often goes there everyday after school makes me upset because there is small amount of time left for us to talk plus i also have my life school, friends, trainings… and sometimes when she comes from job im not at home so we dont talk at all. I was silent but i wasnt happy at all (especially if we add the fact that she works in cafe where as we know a lot of guys are trying to flirt with waitresses, she has already had experience with that), she also wasnt happy but she showed it really clearly and i just didnt know how to tell her that its all because she chosed to work because i dont want to sound like i want to forbid or restrict her something. It really touched me because she was unhappy for days and i didnt know what to do. Im also working but only on the weekends and few times she got upset because i wasnt answering even tho i told her i was at work and she insisted that i dont want to communicate. Important part is that the only reason i started working to save money to visit her, tbh she didnt know that at the moment but even when i mentioned it she didnt have any reaction.

It all escalated when one day after she got angry for the same reason and felt asleep in the middle of conversation (also one thing that she does very often even tho i told her that it irritates me and that she can just simply tell me that she is sleepy or dont ask anything new when she knows she is going to fall asleep in next 30 seconds) just disappeared for almost a whole day and messaged me at 10pm and excuse was that she woke up a little bit later so she had to be fast to not be late for job and then when she came there she was busy and didnt have internet which i doubt since every cafe has it. That offended me for a few reasons, no1 is that we had unfinished convo last night that she didnt even care continue, no2 she left me to worry whole day if something happened to her even tho i told her to not do that and the least important reason, we have that routine of saying good morning and having a small talk every morning and she didnt even care to tell me good morning and that she has to go for a work and that we will continue to talk later because obviously those 2 minutes worth more.

We are talking for 3 days so far about that and im struggling to explain her what do i want, for me its the serious problem but she either doesnt care or somehow cant understand me, im afraid that the only way would be to stop working or to work less but i dont know how to tell her that because i dont want to be restrictive. Please tell me what would you do if you were in my place and tell me if im overreacting 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

Hello everyone. I am a 26F nursing student from the Philippines; my bf is 25M in the UK. Before our path seemed pretty clear: for me to graduate, do my experience locally (1 yr minimum - 3 years max) and get a job in the UK. But these days, the NHS has slowed down hiring from my country due to budget cuts and it has come up in discussions and weighed on us both, especially when it comes to bridging the gap.

My second best option would be to try to get a job in Ireland, which I could see playing in our favor since he'd freely be able to move there. My third best option, though, which is Germany, does make things a bit hazy though (and it's also the option currently hiring the most from my country.) I think it's figuring out the logistics of moving together and taking important steps as a couple that does seem like a hurdle we'd have to figure out if I were ever to have to resort to my third option.

While it is far ahead, it does scare me if still being long distance in a way gets to the both of us. I genuinely love him so much: he's very kind, empathetic, caring, generous and amazing... I don't want to let him go at all... I guess what I'm trying is it there's anyone with a similar distance to us in Europe? And I'd like to ask how you both tried to compromise in order to reach a point where you both are more settled down? Any help would be appreciated.