I’m pretty young so idk what to do but I don’t feel safe at home and I’m scared to talk to my mom about it since she will be mad at me but she’s really sweet so should I call crisis hotline or just let it be

I'm turning 18 this year and as results of the baccalaureate are approaching, I must plan my moves for next September. I will study at the uni, and my parents live quite far from a decently ranked university. I therefore wish to pack my things and move up to a location near the university.

However, my parents are very religious and they're reluctant to let me live all alone by myself. They argue it's due to insecurity. Even though the neighboorhood it's not the safest, I won't achieve nothing in my life starting with that mentality from the beginning. In fact, I think they don't want me to live by myself because they fear that I will hook up.

What's unfair and non-compliant with Islam is that my older brother had the chance to live by his own at the age of 18 – he also went to university. Like many muslim families, the discrepancy of treatment between men and women is blatant. I'm finding myself fighting over this with my parents and the family athmosphere as turned beyond negative since I disveiled my plans.

How to convince them to let me live by myself for the sake of studies ? I also mention that I'm not an extravert and during my teenage years, I wasn't used to hang out at all due to strict interdiction from my parents.

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hi my name is mustafa i have a dream my dream a ps5 i don´t have a mony to bay one play with my friend I'm asking people who are generous to fulfill my dream I'm happy to have a PS5 Just like them I have come to tell you the truth of my life to those who are generous I just have that dream It's just ps5 😔

Obligatory throwaway. I live away from my mom with my partner. She is very concerned with me being overweight and I have gained some weight recently, but nothing crazy. Whenever she asks I always tell her to please not worry about it. I recently gave her some medical receipts because she can dispose of them better than we can and now she won’t talk to me except to say she is very upset with me. I realized my weight is on those papers. She says thing itself does not matter to her big picture but it’s the “betrayal.” I am spinning out and have no idea what to do. I just wanted to get it off my chest. Partner says don’t worry about it, but I am losing it. I feel like I am not even allowed to feel hurt by the situation. I feel like my privacy was violated but I guess not since I gave her the papers. I wouldn’t have if I thought about it. I am too overwhelmed by the fact that she is upset with me to even sort out how I feel about it. I really don’t care. I just don’t want her to be upset anymore.

edit: added thoughts

Hello! I have never used Reddit before, and I wasn't quite sure what to title this post, or what subreddit to put it in.

I have a half sister, and recently it has been bothering me that I do not know anything about her at all. She in is pictures from when I was little, playing with me and my brother, however I do not remember her much but from photos she often played with us. If I had to guess, she was a teenager or in her 20s when I was a toddler/young child (and now I am in my late teens). My parents have zero contact with her due to an unfortunate situation in which she had stolen from them and other members of my family (I think she was a little bit troubled growing up with a strange environment on her mother's side - she is my Dad's daughter - and it resulted in her doing bad things. I don't think I can fully blame her for much that happened for them to fall out as there are probably two sides to every story, but I know it was very upsetting for my Dad and apparently she was quite nasty to him). Additionally, I know that after everything happened my Dad tried to contact her / keep in contact with her which resulted in very little, and that her mother often tried to manipulate her against him or would not make her aware of his reaching out.

This is honestly all I know of the situation and it troubles me deeply that I know so little. I haven't asked my parents much about it as I know it upsets them (mainly my Dad, I truly cannot remember a time he has every mentioned her name) and that I haven't really cared at all about the fact I have a sister until the past couple of years. It didn't really hit me until around 2021/2022 that I should have a sister and I don't due to things that happened when I was too little to understand, now all I have of her are old photos and the knowledge that we would play hide and seek a lot.

I decided to search from her online a bit after I turned 18, sparked by a boy I knew who's own Dad reached out to tell him on his 18th birthday that he actually had a half brother which made me wonder for some reason why my sister has never reached out to me. When I turned 18 I felt a little as if someone owed it to me, as if she should message me since I'm an adult now. I found her Facebook and Instagram, but she was private on both / had no posts. I only knew it was definitely her as the accounts had the same profile picture and a few of my family members also followed her Instagram account. It shocked me seeing her face, I thought she was beautiful and looked nothing like me (except maybe the eyes) and it felt like there was this whole person that I deserved to know, apart from some photographs, that is now a grown woman. It hit me quite hard after that, like I finally understood she was a real person.

For some clarification, some of my Dad's side of the family are still in contact with her (I am assuming). I didn't know this until I was maybe 15, and my parents didn't exactly know it either. I don't think my Dad was upset his family were in contact and seeing her, more that he was not involved in the process (his family isn't the nicest/it's a weird situation that is too much too unpack here). It happened when we were at a cousin's birthday party and suddenly my parents were extremely uncomfortable, and after an hour or two we got my brother (who was it the other room) and left. Turns out, my Dad's side of the family had invited her to this party without telling him, and she was there in the other room. Sat next to my brother and my Nan, whilst my brother was completely unaware. He had no idea who she was, and none of our family had decided to tell him? That is a specific part I cannot get over.

Anyways. I've just found her LinkedIn profile, and I am honestly desperate to know anything about her as there isn't anything online at all other than her name and a few photos (most of which from the 2010's). The whole situation just upsets me deeply. Why hasn't she reached out at all? I get why she would have reserves, maybe she doesn't want to, but it still hurts me that I have zero connection with her, know nothing about her but her name, because I should have a sister!!! It also makes me angry, because she is a grown woman now and was so much older than me at the time and why would she not want to make me aware of her, and I now constantly find myself dwelling on if she even thinks about me at all.

I know I should ask my parents (probably my Mum) about the whole thing, maybe explain my upset about it, however I am currently at University and I feel like it is more of a face to face conversation. I also do not get to see my Dad's side of the family much at all, and I would really never go to one of them about it as it would feel like a betrayal to my parents instead of just asking them. There is also the fear at the back of my mind that I will somehow run into members of my Dad's side of the family and that they are with her, and I will be totally unprepared for it.

I don't know. I don't want to reach out myself. I don't even know if I am posting this in the right place. Just a bit of a vent (my friends vaguely know I have a half sister but I've never gotten into it much and don't want to drop the conversation on them), as well as asking for some advice or if anyone has ever had a similar situation. Thanks for reading if you have.

TLDR: I have a semi-estranged (?) half sister and I don't really know what to do about it

I (23M) just graduated college with my MBA about 4 months ago and have been job searching. It’s been extremely challenging trying to find something.

I know I want to move away and live in a city since I have grown up in a small town (1000 people). My parents, mainly my dad does not want me to.

For the last 4.5 years I haven’t lived at home and currently still am living in my college house til my lease is over at the end of the month. I got a job offer for a good company and good start but it’s 5 hours away from family. I don’t necessarily like the location it’s in but it’s an offer after 4 months of trying to find something.

My parents are old, almost 70 and in relatively good health still but my dad guilts me a lot about moving far away. I have a good relationship with them and want to be close but know I need to experience my life at the same time. I just know it will kill him not getting to see me often.

Should I just wait it out until a better job option within 1-2 hours come along?

What would you do?

For context, I'm 17 and autistic, my mom and dad divorced when I was in about first grade, and my dad found a new girlfriend in second grade. I've always had indifferent feelings towards her because she would always make comments about my mom saying things like how she didn't have a real job, she was a subsitute teacher, and more recently she stated how she's always not really liked her because she would still have my dad buy me toiletries. Some of her exact words being she hates poor people because they just let the government pay for all their stuff while she has to work hard to make a lot of money for the family.

It's always been a struggle because how I was raised there was always drama and fighting everywhere I guess I sort of developed a more antisocial attitude more around just my dad and step mom. And my step mom really hates this about me because she doesn't feel appreiciated for how much she does for me. Which I will admit I am wrong for this on some level, but growing up my sister and mom have always never had a properly good opinion of her and I guess it sort of rubbed off on me. Top it off with her hot headed emotional attitude and need to always be right, it's never been something that's made me feel comfortable to be more open. Especially when just up until a few months ago there was so much fighting between her and my dad, which she said was mainly about us, my little sister and me.

My mom currently is unemployed as she takes care of her new kid (who's about to go to school) with my step dad, and about 3 weeks ago my mom bassically stated how she didn't want to pay for anything for me (in reference to things like band fees for school, not basic living stuff). I wasn't able to hear the whole conversation my mom and dad had but that's the ghist of what was said. This furiously angered my step mom because she's the one who helps my dad take care of me (money wise and her time). Since that happened she's started making snarky comments about my mom specifcally mentioning how she doesn't pay the bills and doesn't want to take care of me. And about yesterday it got too much to handle and I told my mom all the things she had been saying about her, she called my dad and had a civil discussion with him about these comments. After they hung up I went into my room because I know something was about to go down. Not just a few minutes later she stormed into my room yelling trying to settle her points, and I started going into a panic attack while my dad tried to comfort me and calm down her rage. After this she yelled some more obscene things about my mom calling her worthless and drove off to her friends house.

After this, I got calmed down and chatted with my dad for a little. After about maybe a few hours she came back more calm and we all chatted about things that were wrong. Most of it was all the stuff I just talked about, me being not appreciative and my mom not wanting to help pay for things. I'm just scared of what's going to happen I don't want to be in this situation I can't help but know I put myself in. There's too much hate and negativaty and I just want it all to go away.

TL:DR
Step mom angry because I don't show I'm appreciative of all the money she spends on me and all the time she's put into doing stuff for me. While the whole time I've known her she's hated my real mom for being poor and not working as hard as her. Huge arguments and fights are happening and I don't want to be in this mess I may have started.

Hey y’all

I have a family nonprofit organization and I just want to support families but also want a way to be self sustainable - I don’t want to beg for donations and stuff

Would any of these services and prices make sense and let me know if there’s a particular needs that your family could really use that I did not list like babysitting or something

1. 30 day fitness & nutrition plan for each member of the family - $50 per person?

2. fun family “field trip” where up to 25 people signup we pick up several families with a 2-4 activities planned and drop you off afterwards $100 per person?

3. family finance or budgeting or retirement monthly check-in or support ( I have an accounting background & experience)

$200 a month?

Let me know y’all thoughts idk if these prices are too high or too low I’m just trying to support families & earn a living

I'm a 23yo working full-time living at home with my mother (40s) and 3 younger siblings (19, 17, 17 ; all with high-functioning autism) and it feels like everyone in this house is so goddamn incompetent. Because of how everyone else is, it feels like I constantly need to be the one to "swoop in" and "save" them from whatever it is. It's hard to elaborate the extent of just how BURNT OUT I am living here because it's been years of things bothering me, and I'm very close to reaching my breaking point. (TLDR at bottom)

My main stressor is my mother. My mother is financially incompetent and owes me THOUSANDS of dollars to help her pay for rent because she literally does not know how to budget her money properly. It's nearly impossible for her. I've even went out of my way to help her create a budget NUMEROUS times, and she's never stuck to them. She hasn't asked me to help her with rent in months now, but occasionally will ask me to pay for our groceries (cool, alright) or the whole family's phone plans (uh). Both nowhere near as much as rent of course, but it's concerning me that I'm like a backup plan for my mother, because what is she going to do by the time I move out? I'm not helping her with her finances by that point. I've had friends tell me to just say no to giving her money for rent/food/phone, but my thought process is "then where is she going to get the money from? we'll lose our home. we'll starve. we won't have phone service," etc. It feels like I HAVE TO or we'll struggle. And if I can't help, it'll be my fault if things go downhill. -- Side note, she relies on me so much that she expects me to memorize her own log-ins for HER stuff. I come home from work one day and she's asking me how to log into her fucking Verizon account??? How TF would I know your password holy shit bro. Extra side note but my mom has even asked me to get a mortgage under my name and have her pay for it so she doesn't have to pay for expensive rent anymore?????? Like it's hard to really summarize what I've dealt with with her within just the past year man. lol

My 19yo sister is finished school, but unemployed. My mom has asked me many times to help her find an online job, which first of all, why the hell am I finding HER a job, and second of all, how the hell am I suppose to find her an online job that's legit and doesn't require either some form of hybrid work or degrees? She has no skills and no specific career path she's interested in that's guaranteed to make good money. And the reason why my mom is particular on her having specifically an online job is because we don't trust her to take public transit or walking on her own to her job because she doesn't pay attention at all to her surroundings. She doesn't familiarize herself with where she's going when we do go out. Besides all of this, it's stressing me out that it feels like I need to constantly baby her at her age telling her to clean her own room and do her chores, when she literally does NOTHING else in this house but play games and sit on her ass all day on her phone. She does nothing productive but will have the audacity to tell me that a few dishes and a couple large pots and pans is "too much" to do at once when cleaning dishes. Or will tell me to "hold on" while she's in the middle of a game because I'm telling her to do chores she should have already done.

My brothers who are both 17 are still in school but struggle with their classes. I'm not really frustrated with them as I am with my mother and sister, but it's an additional stress seeing them struggle in school and get upset and self-deprecate because they're failing, even though when I have told them many times over the years they can always ask me to help them out. But they never do. They struggle but ask for no help. There's only so many times I can lend a hand, but as the old saying goes "you can lead a horse to water but you can't force them to drink." I don't want to just give up on them and I want to see them succeed but like... what else can I do in this situation? Mom's too busy to help them (or honestly even check up on how they're doing in school lol) and sister's definitely not gonna help because she was in a similar situation when she was in school, even struggling to the point where she'd cry and beg to drop out, which I definitely did not allow and won't for my brothers either.

I want to leave so fucking badly but I don't have enough savings at the moment to move out with a roommate securely. I also worry alot that when I do leave, everything will crumble. My mother's barely taught my siblings how to actually be adults and they're probably just going to all end up being unemployed because my mom has no trust that they can have normal jobs and commute normally by bus/train. I worry for a situation where my mom is gone and my siblings are left scrambling unsure of what to do. I feel like it's partially my fault, but at the same time I recognize that I am not their parent and I deserve to live a life away from my household and worry about myself and my future. It doesn't feel fair man. I've been so patient with everyone. I've offered my siblings money incentives if they do their chores regularly and just do their work in school (I don't even care if they get all C's and D's, a pass is a pass. They did their best.) I've tried helping them out with school, giving them life advice, and just being a figure they can go to if they can't talk to my mom. All I can do for now is just go to work, make my money, come home, and try to avoid the things that will trigger my frustration.

Not sure what advice could be given, but any is appreciated. (and I can try to answer any potential questions)

TLDR: Mom sucks with her money and owes me money because of it. Adult sister can't act like an adult for the life of her. Teen brothers struggle in school but ask for no help from anyone despite offers. I feel like I need to save everyone but it feels like a lot on my shoulders.

Okay if you had a step parent that had been in your life since 4 and raised you so basically like a dad to you, separated and divorced from your mother a year later gets with someone a year younger than you ….how would you feel ?

Hi everyone,
Excuse my bad english

I made this throwaway account for anonymity reasons.

I need help and advice on what to do with my (F19) older sister (23) who has nothing going on in her life, sleeps all day but bought a gym membership for 300 euros per month.
I started writing because we just had the smallest fight but it struck me so hard that i came here.
The story:

Ever since we were little we were the best of sisters, we had our fights but they were just little things, because i only remember good times with her when we were young. Im honestly crying that it came to the point that past midnight I'm writing on reddit for advice as i was truly hoping i wouldn't have to come here to seek solutions for this. She was the smart kid, always staying up late to study, always helping mom with difficult tasks where you needed brains like government documents and school registration. Every document the school sent us, my sister would read, understand and translate to my mom. My parents immigrated to this country when my mom was pregnant with her, we were born here, my parents know the language here but i would say its level B1 or even A2. For privacy reasons i wont be disclosing which country.

In high school she was acing all her classes and i was the one failing all my classes. I didn't know how to study lol, literally i didn't even know what it included. My sister stayed up so many nights to help me out with homework, she would tutor me time to time, but sometimes i would get on her nerves. It isn't until her first year at university (she chose a really hard course with sciences and math) that she changed completely. Its as if a clone returned and not my sister. Her first school year was 2019-2020, she was failing almost all of her classes, she was being really rude to us (my mom, dad and me) which i understand when its stressful, and being the older sibling i understood that there's so much responsibility that falls onto your shoulders and a sense of 'i must achieve great things for my famil' (because we weren't rich, we weren't starving but money could have avoided so many problems we faced. And so after three years of failing her courses, and lying to us that she was succeeding, she dropped out when I was in my last year of high school. My parents were really disappointed and sad, more so at the fact that they came here to give us a better life but my sister was not able to do anything good with the privileges she got that my parents hadn't. I understand though that just because we had it better than our parents, doesn't mean we know exactly how to live life good with success. But still i think you can understand how my parents felt when she dropped out, after everything they've done to sustain us. And so when i was deciding what to study at uni, my mom forced my sister to sign up for uni again, she chose law, i chose smt easier cuz i like it. And not even halfway through the first semester she secretly dropped out. The whole school year she was lying to us that she was still studying and at school following classes. When my mother finally found out she again caused a huge scandal saying that she doesn't like being lied to. My sister then said she was working on a business of hers that she finds more important. And that this will bring more money than a degree. She promised us that she would be brining in thousands per month when i start my second year at uni. Well, here we are end of my second semester of my second year at uni and she has no business, she works at a little shop (i too as a student), she bought a gym membership to some high end gym where per month she pays around 250 euros for the membership, she doesn't go there everyday like she said she would. She hasn't changed anything in her life like she said she would. She has great ideas for business and since she was young she was a very creative kid, she would always make little diys, i remember how she would draw every time, she has real talent, she would make clothes for my dolls and all sorts of accessories for them out of paper and carton. But ever since she dropped out of uni twice she just sleeps until lunch/noon, gets up does nothing all day other then do a little bit of information search for her business ideas, go to her gym twice in two weeks or smt and overall always have an angry mood. Shes always angry, we had many talks with her, family and her, just me and her, she would promise to change and do better but nothing came out of it. My mom has a doctor whos she close with, the doctor asked for my sister to come to her to talk and see whats wrong, but my sister said she doesn't want to go as she would start crying. And we cant force her. I don't hear much from what my dad thinks of this, only the things that my mom tells me. She said that my dad is very disappointed with what my sister is doing all day everyday, no degree, a meh job, no career, no skills shes developing, nothing. SHe doesn't even have a drivers license, says its not a priority, but she does always ask for rides from the parents.

she told me one time that the advice our parents give is not good enough for her, she needs advice from a rich dad. But my dad isn't that kind of dad, his advice is study good and get a good job, so is my mom's. I don't know how to help her, I've tried everything, I'm just desperate for help as any time i delve deep into this subject i cry at how sad she must be inside. And it makes me even feel ashamed and guilty that i am studying and building my future career while shes just sleeping all day claiming to be working on a business.

I'm so sorry for the long text i don't know how to properly structure it.

but i saw the rules state to add TLDR
TL;DR
My older sister dropped out twice , is wasting money on a expensive gym membership and has no career, works at a little shop 'temporarily she said', seems to hate us as she lashes out at us a lot. She needs rich dad advice but my parents can't give that to her.

​

I have a sister. I don’t really want to peg her as a villain because I know she is deep down kin but sometimes it’s just to tiring to spend time with her. She always have something to complain about.

We go on vacation that she did not have to pay for and she’ll complain about the rooms.

If me and my other siblings manage to reach a mile stone like buying a new house or car, she’ll side comment that we’re privileged because our dad is helping us and she’s forced to work for him to pay for hers. FYI my parents offered her the same payment terms as they did towards us but she insists that it was not ideal for her because she has two kids and we don’t.

I finally got a nice venue and place for her to have her first solo-exhibit after years of complaining and she tells me the timeframe is too short. I’m doing a mediocre job and our staff is useless.

Everyone else says that we should “understand her” to keep the peace. “Let her process what she said.”

But I am at a point where I am too tired. I am always anxious when dealing with her.

I’m always thinking how she’ll react or will this lead to a series of tantrums. I’m just shit tired of always trying to adjust and cater to her feelings first to the point that all of us can’t even be proud and boast about or travels, or purchases that we work hard for because when she sees it she’ll complain and be bitter about it.

Is everyone’s advice to just grin and bear really helping her process herself? If so it’s been her whole lifetime. Why is it getting worse than better. Why is she blaming everyone else for being unlucky even though we all think that she’s pretty lucky because everyone caters to her because they are afraid she’ll go into a fit?

I really want to remove myself from this but I don’t want my other family members to get upset over this.

Huhuhu!

I’m 23F and my parents treat me like a child. I think they think they’re giving a good job of giving me the illusion that I have more liberty and can pave y own way as an adult but they monitor and inquire me on every move I do. I just graduated, and heading to the east coast for an internship. And my parents (especially my dad) has been driving me crazy. I’ve already had 5+ lectures about moving, what I ‘should’ve and ‘should not’ do, and has been asking me constantly about every aspect of the job, what I’ve signed and haven’t signed and to show him any documentation or paperwork. I’m exhausted and frustrated. I’m an adult, I can handle having a job, it’s not like it’s my first. Granted, it’s my first time traveling for work but still, I’m Ana cult and I need to do this on my own, but it feels like my parents don’t trust my judgment. This went from an opportunity I was very excited about, to thinking I’m beginning to dread because my parents it’s like my parents want to monitor everything, my dad even told me he’s planning on traveling to me I week from move in to check in on me, I DONT NEED TO BE CHECKED ON. I’m tired of feeling like a child, like o can’t be trusted to make good decisions. I just want to feel like an actually adult for once, and I was hoping accepting this position abroad would help. What’s more frustrating is they didn’t do all this with my younger sister, who’s traveling abroad to a whole other continent. Yet, I’m always on the receiving end of this treatment. I understand they’re concerned for me, but it just feels like they think I’m not competent enough to do things on my own.

TL;DR I am traveling for the summer for work, and my parents (father in particular) is being overly inquisitive and concerned

My brother works from home and has been living at our Moms house for a while now. My Mom lives separately with her husband in a different state. I have been back here for about 9 months now. When I came back, I was working full time, and had to take care of all of the cleaning around the house. I left that job and took another one until I got fired, a couple months ago. Throughout this entire time, I have been handling cleaning the inside of the house as well as all of the yard work. My brother never offers to help, leaves dishes everywhere, and assumes zero responsibility for any housework, because he pays rent. I have been paying rent, up until the point I got fired. I’ve been looking for a new job consistently, and any gig work I can possibly get.

I have mostly not been able to get along with my Mom, and she often turns him against me. This most recent time, after previously expressing my frustration in a civil manner towards both of them including a couple other family members, I yelled at my brother when he tried to confront me for being loud in the house when he was napping. He immediately went to call the cops and yelled at me to get out of the house. And I did leave, as this is common for them to do whenever we get into any kind of argument. Since she recently visited a week ago and hasn’t left since, she has setup two cameras without my knowledge and my brother has changed the lock on the side gate. I explicitly said that I do not consent to being recorded on camera and I’ve also pointed out to them that they are acting classist towards me and treating me poorly. I’m unemployed, my job should be finding a new one. I can’t even focus or be in peace while doing that, in my own house.

I believe My (30F) younger sibling (27) is psychologically abusing our parents (67m and 52F). Younger sibling lives with them, but does not contribute to the home in any way. YS will regularly throw tantrums like a child, yelling/screaming, breaking things, accuse them of being unsupportive, etc over small things such as being asked to take out the garbage on time or clean up after themselves. YS has a job, but only works 1-2 days a week and does not use any of this money to financially contribute. They spend what money they have on weed and spend their days smoking, sleeping and playing video games. YS regularly steals money and other items from my parents despite the fact they provide food and utilities as well as a rent free home. All around they’re a deadbeat and an ass.

Here is where things really cross into abuse territory… we have an older sibling who had major behavioral issues and was kicked out of the house at 18. After being on his own for a few years, he came back and started working on bettering his life when he was struck by a drunk driver and is now living with serious mental and physical impairment. This was over 10 years ago, but becuase of this experience, my parents (mom especially) are unwilling to ever put one of their kids out again or really address behavioral concerns. YS knows this and has been manipulating that fact ever since. YS talks to my parents like they are stupid, they starts arguments and throw full on tantrums over nothing and will regularly threaten suicide to get his way. This also happens every time someone else is getting attention. For example, yesterday was Mother’s Day and he made a big deal of crying and screaming becuase my kids were being too loud and my dad was watching tv. Mom told YS that if they don’t like the activity on the house, they need to find their own place. YS then disappeared for hours without responding to anyone’s texts or calls only to return in the middle of the night. They left a dr. Summary on the counter for my parents to find in the morning stating they were contemplating suicide. This is really just scratching the surface of the shit YS does to people and it would take all day to lay it all out there.

I have tried to explain to my parents that this is abuse and they need to find a way out of this situation, but becuase of past trauma, they feel very limited on what to do. They are even considering paying part of YS monthly rent somewhere just to get them out of their house. How do I help my parents?

Not pregnant (but hopefully one day!) but the topic has become a hot item at family functions. My (30F) family is excited about the possibility of becoming grandparents/aunts/uncles but his (29M) family has started voicing their opinion about how done they are with the baby stage and their excitement about no more small children being around.

I’ve always wanted at least one child, he has always been on the fence. It’s been a deep discussion we’ve had several times since we started dating. He’s since agreed to “one day” and we are both open to adopting if I’m unable to conceive or carry a baby.

I do think a child/children are a real possibility for us within a year or two, but I’m curious if his family will come around? Has anyone dealt with this? Any advice? I’m very family oriented and want all grandparents actively involved, so now that their thoughts on it have started to come out I’m quite terrified that it’ll either change his mind or they will cut us out of their lives. Or worse just avoid me and any children at all costs.

I will say that his family and I get along great and have no other issues. Future children are the only thing we’ve ever held a major difference of opinion on. I think that the majority of his moms anti-grandchildren spill is that she did a lot of the raising of her nieces and nephews and their children and is maybe just burnt out?

My Dad’s third wife always gets mad when she isn’t acknowledged for Mother’s Day. My mother died in a car accident when I was 5 years old. He remarried about a year later, then divorced the second wife due to infidelity and drug use when I was 23. My Dad remarried again when I was about 26.

The third wife has nothing to do with my upbringing, has never had children, I have never lived under a roof with her, never borrowed a dime from her, and never asked her for advice.

She refers to me as her son all the time, tried to announce my wife’s pregnancy on social media before my wife had even told her sisters, and gets pissed when she isn’t recognized for Mother’s Day. Besides that, she’s a picky, prickly, rude human. I realize she wishes she was a mother, but I also wish I was in the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame… I don’t expect people to treat me like a rock star because I am not one.

After having a front row seat to what my wife has gone through in this first year of motherhood, I feel even more strongly that I should not acknowledge my Dad’s wife on Mother’s Day. She has no idea what my wife has experienced.

Why should I acknowledge her on Mother’s Day?

My husband, 2 kids (13M ,14F) and I have been staying with my MIL while the construction is finished on our new home. We pay rent but do not have a formal agreement (we have been in this home for several months). We came back from vacation this weekend and my MIL was in my DDs room under her bed. All of her things were out and she was going through all of her things. DH asked her what she was doing and she said she was looking for trash (while there are clothes in the laundry and old school work stacker under the bed, there is little to no trash). Our home will be finished in 30 days. How do I deal with this gross invasion of privacy without making things more awkward? Is it better to just move into a monthly rental and move again in a few weeks?

It’s my birthday today. My mum came over in the morning to take my children to school while I went to my full time job and didn’t say anything. Everyone gave me my cards a week ago because it was my grandads birthday and they just gave me mine at the same time. I received three cards. One from my mum, one from my children, one from my grandparents. My children were still in bed when I left for work.

I went to work and no one wished me a happy birthday, even though a whole company email was sent to remind everyone that it was my birthday. No one remembered. When I was leaving the receptionist said to me “whose birthday is it today?” I simply said “it’s mine”. Signed out and walked off, her face dropped.

I picked my children up from school and they ran and gave me the biggest cuddle and then asked me what presents I got. I told them I didn’t get any but I got three lovely cards and that it didn’t matter. My children started crying and saying they were sad for me. They then started picking up daisies and dandelions off the school field because they didn’t want me to not have anything.

My mum had taken my grandparents out for the day for a lovely day at the beach. When they were on their way home they rang me (baring in mind it’s now 6pm) and told me to put the kettle on because they were coming over for a cup of tea. They didn’t say anything.

They turned up and was telling me of the amazing day they had and was rubbing it in my face that I was at work. I told them all to drink up and leave because I wasn’t in the mood for guests. They all started laughing and saying that I was obviously in a mood and jealous that I didn’t get to go. I asked them what day it was. After a few seconds of pure silence they clicked and before they said anything I just told them to get out.

I do everything for this family. I am a part time carer for my grandad. I am a full time single parent and a full time worker. My mum doesn’t see me as a daughter but as a therapist/sister, always has. I make every single person in this family my main priority and make every single one feel loved and appreciated. I make their birthdays a big deal.

They just don’t care and I am so utterly devastated that on the one day that was about me, they couldn’t even remember.

I didn't know where to put this because I dose involve my mother and 2 friends that are almost as close as family and like siblings

I'm 18f, my childhood was a dysfunctional one, wasn't taught much of basic things that were needed but regardless, ever since I was in a bad situation in middle school I've had very lacking inspiration to do anything.

I cant find a job because of not want to even do anything anymore and because my mom says, "I don't want you working that isnt wfh because I don't trust the world with someone like you"

Then she complains about me not having a life.

I don't know what I want or what I want to do.

College isn't a option either.

All I don't get out of bed during weekends besides to get a drink, take care of My pets, eat, and to use the bathroom, one Sundays I'm only inspired to actually do something because my friend and I hang out.

Weekdays are similar, but on weeks days I get up to watch Steve wilkos with my mom in the living room and drink coffee and then immediately go into my room for the rest of the day when she leaves for work.

I barley know what day it is anymore.

While the people that hurt me all those years ago ar flourishing after graduation, I'm here wasting away in my bed because I can't find the inspiration to do anything anymore.

I don't eat well, don't go out unless it's with my friend or my mom, I don't sleep well even though I'm always in bed and tired, I can barely practice basic hygiene.

I barely do things I use to love, sure I still play video games daily but it's just hardwired into my system now, art and scribbling subconsciously as well.

I hate loud things,I can't really do social cues, I hyperfixate on lore and characters, God the only things I do right is collect bottle caps and salt packets, along with taking care of My cats.

I don't have many friends besides two, one dosent really bother with me and the other has better things to do.

I'm 90% sure my friends hate when thye hear me rant about lore over and over agian, from Daedric lords of the elder scroll games to the lore of destiny 2 and baldurs gate 3.

When I finally find inspiration, its to start anew, travel, I looked at other states and countries and then pinpoint on Scotland. I wanna move to scotland and restart where no one knows me, I fixated on it for months, doing research and everything, i was so deep into research that I even chose parts of Scotland to see each visit and travel, and then see which parts are best for new comers to be in. I even looked at there taxes and how that would mix with us income taxes and looked into how I would make money, hell I study possible future issues.

I studied how to get cats accustomed to harnesses and collars and train them for travel.

1 friend cheered me on say she would do it with me, then turned out she loved the idea and but didn't wanna move because of all she had in the us, I said it's no problem.

I was in so deep and it made me happy, it then went down hill.

I started to get told things by my mom and the one friend.

"Oh you can't even awnser the phone how will you manage that?" "You are to naive to be on your own" "you can't even order food by yourself." "You need a job before you start planing stuff like that" "you can't survive on your own" "what about your family and friends?" "Why are you so insistent on uprooting your life?" "You have more here than you know" "you probably won't ever have enough money to do that" "your so naive and people will take advantage of you" "the only reason you wanna leave is shallow" "you wouldn't really make friend since your not good at that due to you.. interests" "you don't even like potatoes" "you won't survive" "you can't be trusted by yourself"

I was so convince by their words, that I dropped it entirely, stopped even taking about it, now everytime I hear about it or accidentally speak about it, it hurts.

Like my inspiration was one again ripped out of me by people around me.

It happens over and over again, I even do it to myself.

I can for my own though and opinions but when it comes to being convince to think something I just go along with it because it's been my way of survival for so long.

It keeps bitting me again and again.

I don't know what to do anymore.

This is probably above reddit pay grade lol

But what do I do?

TLDR: I'm so lacking in inspiration that it's functionality ruining me.

Basically me and my parents moved in with my uncle two years ago, originally we were going to move to California because we have more family and friends there but my dad wanted to move in with my uncle. My dad is an uber driver so he only works at night. Every since the few months that we moved to Boston, my uncle started to complain about how my dad doesnt take me and my mother out and only stays in his room sleeping but this is a normal occurrence for a Muslim family like us . His complaints gradually got worse to the point my dad and my uncle dont talk anymore. And my uncle takes out his anger for my dad on my mom. Once she told him that my father was going to the doctors and was going to take her the cafe afterwards the next day he stops talking to her because he days she was trying to get a rise outta hum for telling him that my dad wasnt going to work. He only wants to believe whatever he wants. Whatever doesnt go his way he will get angry and when he gets angry is the worse. I know that from experience because I faced his wrath before, I was five and I was mad at something, i think i wanted to watch a movie and then he called me an angry bird so l walked out to the livivg room to go cry and then he comes for me and starts cursing me out snd calling me a bitch and along other stuff and everyone was watching him doing that. Years later I asked my mom why he did that and she said that he was drunk and he didnt know what he was doing but clearly he did because the same year we moved in with him outta nowhere when i was in the car with him and he said he wanted the beat the shit outta me as a joke?? Anyways every time he sees my father not going out to work he gets mad. Just yesterday he blocked my mom, before she knew that my aunt called me so l can delete a four minute voice message he sent. Im glad I did. He also said he was going to move out when we were going to move but he never did and now that we are discussing to move out he swore to god if we moved out he would never talk to her again. I know he had a struggling past but why does he have to do what he wants. My dad not working or not it’s not his business. And I know my dad is a nice man even though he doesn't show it. Honestly im tired of this too. Im only 14 and I havent made a friend here in two years it really exhausting for me and its mentally draining my mom too which saddens me.

Me :

Hey, I'd rather not take on the Courcelles project. You know I'm not a big fan of this kind of project, as you're aware, I really don't take on major renovations anymore, and availability-wise, it's tricky—I have a lot of requests from property managers and other clients. Maybe it would be best to let Slavek handle pulling the cables and installing the boxes, outlets, and switches; he's qualified for that, and even more so if you oversee him. Once the bulk of the work is done, I can always come in for any compliance work if needed.

Brother :

Hey Christophe,

Honestly, not cool, we're really in trouble with this house...

Can't you come for the technical parts: understand the current installation, clearly define which cable to pull where and the location of outlets and switches, make the shopping list, modify/complete the panel, and then, as suggested, do the compliance work.

I'll handle the implementation part with Slawek.

So, by coming once to understand the current installation and draw on the walls and ceiling the cables, outlets, and switches. And precisely define the shopping list.

Then, come again to update the panel.

And finally, at the end, the compliance work.

That would already significantly limit the time to be spent on this project. And there won't be any physical aspects like cutting, drilling, etc.

Me :

Otherwise, I can recommend three electricians who are usually available for projects.

Brother :

feel capable and motivated to do as much as possible myself. Only you are willing to guide me with your knowledge. No other electrician will want to do this.

We'll see later about updating the panel and bringing it into compliance, possibly hiring an electrician if it's not possible for you.

I (30F) no longer live at home so I don't see my sister (19F) more than a couple times a month and on special occasions. Recently, my sister's really been pushing the limits of our family's patience with her behavior.

My sister is not currently in any schooling right now. Ever since what should've been the end of her high school career, she's been going completely downhill with her living situation.

• She does not have any local friends left, all her current friends were met through Discord and video games so she's has a completely irregular sleeping schedule. No one is the house ever sees her, including me when I'm at the house because she sleeps all day and is awake when her friends in other time zones are (which is generally midnight-8am). My parents wake up at 5-6am for work and say they hear her on voice calls until they leave.
• She does not take initiative with anything she needs to do. She needs to renew her passport for a cousin's wedding we're leaving the country for later this year, every single time our mom wants to take her this past month she sits around and is ready to leave by the time it's too late. She's been telling me she needs to contact her doctor for months but every time she has "time" it's too late they're closed. Same with drivers license, etc.
• She has a job but a super minor one where she's basically a volunteer and works like one shift a week. Her manager is extremely lenient but that means she comes 30-45 minutes late and sometimes not at all and there's no repercussions.
• Generally every single event or outing she sits around in her room, playing video games, or chatting on Discord, and not watching the time at all and gets ready when everyone else is ready to go and makes everyone late.

These are just some recent examples of the many instances but last week my dad planned a huge family gathering for my late grandfather's death anniversary, my dad was the one who was late by an hour because of my sister then left without her and had to go back after 40 minutes to get her and she STILL wasn't ready and was sitting around half dressed on her computer. My dad was pissed because at a family gathering he planned for at most an hour and a half out of the 4 of the night because of my sister. Told her he's had enough and next time she's staying home.

Now yesterday for Mother's Day, my fiancé and I waited for 45 minutes in the parking lot of a restaurant because my parents were waiting for her to get ready. They eventually left and arrived without her. They said she can arrive to dinner with my brother (23M). My brother waited another 45 minutes for her and she STILL wasn't ready to leave and left her, he complained she's an adult and does not respect anyone's time and needs to learn that life goes on without her because he's not entertaining it.

Because she doesn't have a lot of friends, my parents insist I take her out when possible and my fiancé and I do, but these past few months it's ALWAYS that she's never ready and doesn't see our texts because she slept in, she was playing a game, she lost track of time, etc. and we wait for an hour or two at the house waiting for her to take a shower and change. It's at the point where my fiancé is at his limit as well, saying she wastes his time, when he's already gracious enough to pay for her meals, etc. and if she doesn't try to better herself he's done taking her out with us because she doesn't respect that we do so much for her and the least she can do is be ready on time.

I don't want my sister to be living a life where all she does is live online while everyone keeps distancing herself from her due to her poor behavior. My parents don't know what to do because she's never awake when they're home from work and when she is and they try to approach her, she apparently cries out of frustration being confronted.

What can we even do? Is this a sign of something more serious? What's the best way to approach someone like this, just tell it to them straight? She's gone to therapy but said it never works out and the therapist doesn't understand her.

TLDR: As the title. My sister has no life outside of Discord and video games and is basically nocturnal because of it. She has no respect for people's time, constantly sleeping in, not awake during the day, taking hours to get ready, just sitting around, etc. when people are waiting on her. Family has had enough, what can we do?

I am 18 years old male . Today I got my 12 th board results and I got 71 % . In PCM the scores were 56 , 57 ,60 and in PE and English were 92 and 90 . My family is upset . Especially my father he brought sweets from store in a way of sarcasm , saying " congratulations on getting such a good result. Proud of you. " I started to cry hearing that and left the room. I was preparing for jee but I can't cope with my boards and at the end I didn't got selected and got bad results in boards . I was once considered a good student with 94% scoring in 10 th but now I am just faliure . All family members are looking down on me . My mom says don't be sad but at the same time she keeps crying and saying you should have worked harder . My world is shattered. I don't know what to do now .

So, currently I (23M) am living with my parents and brother (21M) at home. Since childhood, me and my brother have always had to share a room. Right now, my brother is on summer vacation from uni so he's at home, and he will be for about 3 months. Personally, I feel like I'm at a place in my life where I just need some space, at least my own room to live in. I am not earning currently as I am interning to get some experience before I leave for my masters in September. I should also mention that while our apartment does have 3 bedrooms, my parents sleep in separate rooms as they have decided that it would be better for their marriage to do so (this is not a current issue, just some context). So I spoke to my mom and told her that I would like to go to stay at a friend's place for a week or so, just to have a bit of a break (he has a spare room).

The problem came up here. Even though I specifically stated that I am not asking her or my dad to change anything to accommodate my needs, she is extremely upset that I even brought this up (not with me necessarily, just in general). She is blaming herself for this and I don't know how to explain to her that this has nothing to do with my family, whom i love, it just has to do with me. I just don't feel as comfortable at home when I have to share a room with someone. She tells me that now she feels like I don't like being at home and that it's her fault that I feel this way, and I told her that it has nothing to do with that, and she said OK, but i know when she's upset and it is very clear that the issue is still at the top of her head and that she is upset. She tells me that she thinks I am saying that she and my dad should share rooms, so that me and my brother can have our own rooms, but that was not my intention and I do not think that that is a good idea anyway, even if it puts my issue at rest, I know that for my parents that would not be ideal.

Now I regret even bringing it up, and I don't know how to resolve it. I'm not sure how else I can put it to let her know that this does not mean that I hate living at home or that I'm asking her to find some sort of solution for me. She keeps blaming herself and asking me what else can be done, when I told her multiple times that I don't expect a change, and that I am just airing my thoughts and feelings. I can definitely manage living in the same room as my brother for the next 2 months, I just wanted to have a bit of a break where i could be by myself, but when I try to explain this to her, she just gets upset. Any thoughts on how i should handle this situation?

I think this is worse than having a mother that you can point to behavior of and say “this is why I’m cutting you out”.

Instead of actively giving you a reason to cut them out of their life, the ambivalent mother will make the child feel worthless and unloved thru her lack of compassion or engagement in the child’s life.

I definitely feel like I grew up having an “ambivalent mother”, and it makes days like Mothers Day excruciatingly difficult for me. I’d love to have a mother who enjoys spending time with her kids. I’d love to have a mother that even responds to my texts/calls, but has all the time in the world to comment on every Facebook post known to man.

I think if you asked my mother to name 3 friends of mine she wouldn’t even be able to do it.

Fuck Mother’s Day and fuck all of the commercialized bullshit and pressure it puts on motherless people. It’s the worst day of the year for me. I fucking hate it.

He is just a manipulative piece of shit like genuinely. Everything he does is to the benefit of him and him only. He purposely does things to try and piss you off, full well knowing they are triggers. He used to be violent, but stopped after it didn't work out for him several times with me. Now he is all empty threats and backing down, but only with me. Everyone else he'll run his mouth without care. Like when someone that is homeless sleeping in their car was helping him do doordash, and he doesn't have a car and hardly pays for gas money. He told the friend to "move your shit" and it was his fault he lost a huge deal and completely verbally abused him for it. Like who does something like that? He also takes being a gangster, being from the hood, and being a addict when he was never any. He grew up in a well off family in the suburbs, in literally the most white town you can think of. But he still tries to act black, which is just him taking some stereotypes. He is also genuinely racist and sexist and shows huge incel tendencies with huge sociopathic anger problems and paranoia and always carries a knife. I can genuinely say if he died or moved away or got locked up, I wouldn't miss him. I shouldn't have to fight a sibling who has a tendency to use weapons (not guns) because he couldn't fight his way out of a paper bag. I wish I had a sibling that would be good to me and do it because they love me, not because I'm useful in that moment or he can fake being a good brother to his autistic brother so he looks good to everyone. I personally find his behavior not only disrespectful to me but to others also. Like his faking being a former addict for sympathy is absolutely disrespectful to addicts everywhere and non white people with his genuine racist behavior. I don't mean like some Cod Lobby just edgy stuff (that isn't okay also) I mean genuine hate. He literally loses friends often and gets kicked out of a friend group at least once a year. Like why wouldn't he want to change? I noticed my intrusive thoughts were bad and I immediately got on medication.

Tldr: My brother is a violent sociopathic narcissist that fakes his whole entire life and lives his life as a bad person.

my siblings and i grew up in our grandmothers home with our father. he didn’t have a job, never really tried to get a job either, our mom wasn’t supporting us in any shape or form, so our grandma took us in. she took care of my dad his entire life, paid for everything and now that she’s gone he still lives with us because he has literally no where else to go. the silver lining is he actually works and is a useful asset to our home, so we feel even though he doesn’t have money, he earns his stay with his hard work around the house day in and out.

my grandmother passed away recently a year ago and left the house to my younger sister (F20). me and my younger sister were always closer to our grandma then my older sister, let’s call her sierra. sierra has always had everything handed to her in life. my grandma didn’t play a part in this, but other people like my father, grandfather and her friends parents created this monster. to clarify, my grandma “cut off” sierra when she was in her 20s because of her behavior.

sierra has always had people paying for her, like phone service and car insurance (grandfather paid for these) was paid for her from 13 to 25 yrs old. he gave her a car when she graduated highschool, me nor my little sister ever got so lucky, we had to work for our share. sierras life is begging and taking advantage of people. from a young age, probably even 8 years old, she started lying to her friends parents saying our grandma wouldn’t buy her clothes, food, etc. they were obviously lies but these people believed it and they would buy things for sierra.

since then she manipulates people by crying, screaming and throwing fits when she doesn’t get what she wants, and running to our father who will take up for her no matter what because she is his favorite child. my father actually acts the same way when he hears something that doesn’t please him, so like father like daughter. he is actually worse then her in a sense, because he screams and gets extremely aggressive breaking things until people give him what he wants so he calm down. (he’s never laid a hand on any of us tho so atleast that? but if it isn’t obvious we all have been mentally abused our whole lives) sierra would also steal from people, she still does this all to this day at 30 years old. she gets what she wants by doing this so why would she change that.

sierra has a long history of not being trustworthy, awful with money (she’s had 3 cars repo’d, banned from all storage units in town, banned from multiple hone companies) and disrespectful. multiple times she’s been given cars that she would promise to pay for, then never did. people bend over backwards trying to help sierra. the amount of money people have invested in her to try to start being sufficient adult for herself is insane. THOUSANDS of dollars. she wastes it all. she’s severely mentally ill and blames that for her behavior. any minor inconvenience she has is used as ammunition for a guilt trip she will eventually throw someone on. my dad eats it up and since my grandma isn’t here to put her in her place, she is surrounded by enablers. sierra cuts off people who tell her that her behavior is unacceptable for an adult. i don’t enable her and she screams at me for it.

with that out of the way i can get to what im posting this here for. so sierra was living with her partner for 7 years bumming off their family getting them to pay her bills while she sat at home unemployed 60% of the time in that relationship. when she did work, she didn’t pay her half of things like she should’ve been so people have always had to pay for her share. before that relationship, her previous partners also paid for her lifestyle. they broke up recently, they kicked sierra out and she asked to stay with my younger sister and i at our former grandmothers house. we both knew that meant she would stay for as long as she pleased because my dad would not let her leave unsatisfied. if we said no, my dad would’ve screamed and berated us. we should’ve just done that but we let her stay unfortunately.

so my younger sister told her she can stay for a bit but it’s only temp, her share of the bills would be a measly $150 a month, dont bring all your things and get comfortable, don’t make the room your own and hang up shit and decorate, and get a job. also do chores. she ignored all of this, put shit up on the wall, every inch of the room is full of her shit. she took down our pictures to replace them with hers. she doesn’t do a single chore, and trashed the room she’s staying in. she’s a pig so the room has trash everywhere. she also has cats and doesn’t scoop their litter box so the room smells awful. i brought these issues up to her once she had been here for a week, and sierra went insane screaming and got my dad involved who was also screaming and saying she’s doing nothing wrong. we made a chores list everyone signs off on to show if she’s doing anything. she isn’t. after dinner she runs into her room so she doesn’t have to clean. she will sit and watch everyone clean. my dad doesn’t care about this, he thinks we are crazy for wanting her to pull her weight.

my younger sister is scared to stand up for herself to sierra and my dad so i always end up saying something and taking the “blame” for it. im called every name in the book for standing up for the house. when my grandma was alive, they called her names and screamed at her as well for setting rules so i can’t say we didn’t expect this. it’s been 3 months now and anytime we would ask sierra what her plans are she would say she was planning on “starting new” 3 hours away in a different state, and getting a car and apartment. she seems to think money grows on trees and we would tell her that’s not as easy as it sounds. she would scream if we told her that probably wouldn’t happen without any money and the way she handles money. she only applied for jobs in the different state and actively refused to apply to more then one a week, or any in our area. she doesn’t even have a car and was applying to jobs 3 hours away.

she finally got accepted to one after 2 months of being here. she took advantage of my brother and now she has his car after giving him a sob story. he is another player in her manipulation games. another case where if she cried and manipulates people, she will get what she wants. she drove all the way there and worked one shift. one shift. she’s called out sick (she actually is sick with a “sinus infection” but she’s playing it up to not go to work and it’s obvious) the past 2 shifts now. she won’t try to get a dr excuse and i think she’s trying to get fired already. i see our future and its not bright. it looks awful. i’ve started contemplating suicide since having to deal with her and this. i cut myself for the first time since i was in middle school because i wanted to die but knew my younger sister and partner would need me so i cant even do it.

we have no peace in our childhood home anymore with her here and now it seems she’s pushing it a bit farther to take advantage of us.

my younger sister complains about this and none of us besides my father want her in our home anymore. we have no idea how to get her out without my dad destroying the house in a temper tantrum, much less sierra. i told my younger sister she needs to set a deadline for when she has to be out for, because she will stay here for years if you don’t. she is afraid to do this because the drama that they will cause. what do we do?? maybe other people telling her what clearly needs to be done may help.. kicking my father out isn’t a option even tho it would be easier without him in the picture. sierra is proving over and over and over that she doesn’t care about respecting us and our rules, and respecting our home. my younger sister was manipulated into letting her stay with us, and now we feel stuck…. my dad and sierra are not rational people so no matter what we do we will get berated and our lives made a living hell for a week. at this point i don’t care anymore because i know either way we will end up in the same situation getting screamed at. this my younger sisters home, in her name, and she has no power. well feels like she doesn’t.