Edit: I am 18 and my sister is an older adult.

So me and my two siblings (an older sister and a younger brother) used to be in foster care. My sister aged out and moved back in with our mom and my brother and I spent a while longer in the system before being placed back into my mom’s custody.

I recently had a conversation with my mother where I told her I felt like she had no compassion for me (regarding a specific situation) and she responded with “If I had no compassion, I would’ve just fought to get back (brothers name).” I think she thought I meant in general she had no compassion and I clarified that I meant regarding a specific situation, but I’ve been thinking about what she said and how it’s kinda awful to say that. It’s not the first time that she said something insensitive or hurtful, but this one kinda stood out. I kinda wanna tell my sister so she can understand why I may not feel as close to our mother, but I know that if I tell her, it may hurt her feelings too or she may not believe that my mother meant what she said. She has defended our mother in the past when she said hurtful things but this time I don’t know if there’s any defense and I don’t want my sister to feel bad or to know that my mom probably prefers my brother and cares for him more (based on what she said).

TLDR: My mom said that if she had no compassion she would’ve just fought to get back custody of my brother, even though all three of us were in foster care. I’m not sure if I should tell my sister and I don’t want her to feel hurt or to know my mom probably prefers and cares more for our brother.

Should I tell my sister or not mention it?

So, to start off, my boy is 7 and in line to get tested to see if he is on the spectrum. Anyway, my mother (His biological grandmother) wanted him to cuddle with her on the couch as we were getting ready to leave for his older half siblings concert. He said no, I don't want to cuddle. So she started saying to him, "You don't like those nice clothes? Or doordash? Or that IPad? Huh, saves me a lot of time and money. Get your shoes on since you don't want to be late." He dropped his head and slowly moved to put his shoes on. Then tried to go over there to give her a hug, she told him "Don't bother." Then he entered the room i was in and started tearing up. I told him it's okay to not want affection from someone, and he lean into me so I hugged him slightly and he went to try to hug her again, she accepted that one. I took my son and we left. At this rate, I'm debating on doing whatever I need to do to get us away from her. Unfortunately in our current state, we are dependent on her financially and I'm searching for jobs.

I don't know, I feel like I need some sort of internet guidance.

Edit I also need to mention, that my mother is a high functioning alcoholic. Drinking roughly 1-2 bottles of wine a day.

My biological dad isn't in the picture and hasn't been since I was born but when I was 6 months old my mum met the man I call my dad. From the age of 6 months he treated me as his own and raised mem he spoilt me everyday and always treated me as his "little princess". Unfortunately when I was around 6 him and my mum spilt up but despite this he remained in my life and still came to visit me and take me out for days out and even holidays. Things began to get sour between him and my mum but he still stayed in contact and would leave me presents outside so that him and my mum didn't have to interact. Even when my mum had new partners he stayed in my life.

When I got to the age of 10 I had my own mobile phone and we would message eachother all of the time and every night he would say "goodnight I love you". On one random night I messaged before bed and told him I loved him and he never replied back. I haven't seen him or heard off him since it was as if he abandoned me. I know he's still alive as my mum told me he was and that he got married to another woman and is now living with her. Everytime I've questioned my mum since she always shuts me down and doesn't give me any answers so I went looking by myself.

I done some digging and managed to find his wife and digging even further I found their address, I'm thinking of sending him a letter just to reach out. For context I am 23 years old now so it's been 13 years. What do you think?

My mother is French and she never taught me her language when I was a child, she thought it would be too confusing. I am at about an intermediate level now through online learning as an adult.

Unfortunately when we catch up these days, she's very critical of my brother and his wife and how they are raising their daughter to be bilingual (my brother's wife is french and my brother is fluent after living in France for awhile).

Apparently my neice is struggling to learn English at school. She switches between English and French a lot. My mother is so worried about her failing and keeps insisting to them to only teach her English first and maybe later teach her French.

I disagree with this approach, partially stemming from my own experience as a kid. Also my neice is only 5, she's surrounded by english speakers at school and at home they speak French. I tell my mom that "we can agree to disagree" but she keeps coming back to the topic when I try to switch off. I'm long distance from my family so I try to catch up with them every week or two. I want to keep things positive, but I'm getting really bothered by these conversations.

The topic reminds me of the struggle I have connecting with my extended family as an adult due to the language barrier and how she made so little effort to teach me anything. I want to have a good relationship with her as an adult, but its tough. If I'm direct and tell her I don't want to talk about my brother's parenting style, it'll lead to arguments. Any advice?

I from Ukraine, i translate all text using Chat-GPT. Original text you can read in my profile

Hello, I am 14 years old (for 2024) and I live in a house with my mom and her parents. They treat me very badly. Let me explain in more detail.

A long time ago, in 2019, my parents divorced. I don’t know the reason. One day, my mom started breaking all the dishes in the house and almost threw a shard of glass at me. At that moment, I didn’t understand what was happening because I was 9 years old and naïve. I thought my mom was just in a bad mood.

The next day, we went to visit my mom’s parents. She said it was just for the night. But the next morning, she told me we would be living there. I didn’t understand anything then, and I still don’t. It’s been five years since I started living with my mom and her parents. At first, I saw my dad often and visited him regularly. But over time, the visits became less frequent. Then, my dad got remarried. His new wife had a daughter who was like a friend to me. Four years later, they had another child. Since then, I haven’t even seen my dad. I’m writing this post in December, and I haven’t seen my dad in six months. The last time I was at his place was in January 2022, for New Year’s and my birthday (January 10).

About My Situation

At school, I’m constantly bullied—not just in my class but throughout the entire school. I had a Telegram channel where I shared everything. During a trip to Turkey, I wrote a post saying I saw a beautiful 10-year-old girl, and that was all. Please note—I just said she was beautiful. When we returned to Ukraine, a classmate accessed my private Telegram channel and told the entire school I was a pedophile.

A year before this, there was another situation: I was in 8th grade, and I was just chatting with a girl from 6th grade. Her classmates spread rumors that I loved her, which wasn’t true. Because of this, they started calling me a pedophile in her class, including her, after we had a falling out. Honestly, I feel like hitting that fool who still bullies me and calls me a pedophile. It drives me crazy.

In My Family

I don’t trust anyone anymore. When I once told my mom a secret about my past "relationship," she shared it with almost everyone. Another time, I told my mom a secret about a friend—not in terms of feelings for her but about how her behavior with her friend had changed after our fight. Within half an hour, that friend already knew. Since then, I haven’t told my mom any secrets.

In the family, they yell at me, sometimes swear at me, and even hit me occasionally. They blame me for not studying, spending two extra minutes on my phone, being in the bathroom three minutes longer, or because of my grades. They take my phone away without any reason, just so I don’t use it. I come home from school, give them my phone, and get it back in the morning before school. It’s the same every day. On Sundays, it’s like a holiday—I could sit at the computer for an hour. Now, it’s not as strictly controlled.

I understand that my situation isn’t as bad as some people’s, who don’t even have phones or whose parents kick them out of the house. Even though my parents yell at me and hit me, I feel like they still love me. I’m writing this post after receiving a gaming chair as a gift for St. Nicholas Day, New Year’s, and my birthday combined.

Still, I feel like my life will improve once I move out from my parents’ house.

P.S. Over time, there will be updates on how things have changed.

Вітаю, мені 14 років, і я живу у домі з мамою і її батьками. До мене ставляться дуже погано. Тепер детальніше.

Давно, у 2019 році мої батьки розвелись, причини самої я не знаю. Одного дня мама почала бити весь посуд в домі, і ледь не кинула бите скло в мене. Я одразу не зрозумів, що сталося, бо мені тоді було 9 років, і я був дурною дитиною. Я гадав, що в мами просто не було настрою.

На наступний день ми поїхали в гості до маминих батьків, мама сказала просто з ночівлею. Але на ранок мама сказала, що ми будемо тут жити. Я нічого не розумів. Не розумію і досі. Пройшло 5 років, як я живу з мамою і її батьками. Тата спочатку я бпчив часто, їздив до нього в гості. З часом відвідування стали рідшими, і рідшими, і рідшими. Потім тато знайшов нову дружину, дочка якої була мені за подругу. Через чотири роки у них народжується ще одна дитина. З цього моменту батька я навіть не бачив. Пост пишу в грудні, батька я не бачив уже пів року, а в гостях у нього був у січні 2022, на новий рік і на моє день народження(10 січня).

Про моє становище. В школі наді мною знущаються на постійній основі, як не в класі, то у всій школі. Я вів свій телеграм-канал, у якому розповідав про все. Коли ми літали в Туреччину, я написав пост, що бачив гарну 10-річну дівчинку і нічого більше. Зверніть увагу - просто сказав, що вона гарна. Після того, як ми повернулись в Україну, мій однокласник зайшов в ПРИВАТНИЙ на той час телеграм-канал, і розказав всій школі, що я педофіл. За рік до цього ситуація: спілкувались, на той час, я у 8 класі, із дівчиною з 6-го класу, просто спілкувались, а її однокласники розказали, що я її люблю, чого насправді не було. І саме через це мене почали називати педофілом у її класі, включаючи її, пвсля того, як ми посварились. І лосі хочеться вдарити того дурня, який і досі задирається, називаючи мене педофілом. Бісить.

В сім'ї я не довіряю більше нікому. Коли я розказав мамі секрет про тодішні "стосунки" вона розказувала майже всім. Була ситуація, коли я розказав мамі секрет про подругу, не в плані почуттів до неї, а в плані її поведінки з її другом, яка змінилася після її сварки зі мною. Через пів години подруга вже знала. З цього моменту я нічого не розказую мамі, жодних секретів. У сім'ї на мене кричать, іноді матюкаються на мене, а іноді навіть б'ють. Я винен в цьому, бо просто не вчу уроки, або сидів у телефоні на 2 хвилини більше, або у ванні був на 3 хвилини довше, або через оцінки. У мене забирають телефон. Просто, без причини, для того, щоб я просто не сидів у ньому, прийшов зі школи - віддав телефон, і забрав зранку у школу, і так по колу. У неділю в мене свято, я міг навіть сісти на годину за комп'ютер. Зараз це не так сильно контролюється.

Я розумію, що це не настільки погано, як у деяких, у кого навіть телефону немає, чи їх батьки виганяють з дому. Мої батьки хоч і б'ють, кричать, я відчуваю, що вони всеодно мене люблять. Пишу цей пост після того, як мені подарували ігрове крісло як на миколая, новий рік і день народження одразу.

Та все ж, я відчуваю, що моє життя пвсля того, як я з'їду від батьків стане кращим.

P.S. з часом будуть апдейти, що і як змінилось.

Please be kind, this is the first time I'm posting here.            

I’m 40 and my wife is 35. We met on a matrimonial site and got married last year in June 2023. We both have full-time jobs and earn almost the same amount each month. We are living in a rented flat with our 4-month-old baby.

About wife-

Very emotional lovely lady. Not good with money. I love her a lot.

About my brother-in-law (my wife's only sibling)-

Unmarried. Engineer by profession with a full time job. Very quite and responsible man. But very tight with money and very money-minded. He earns about the same monthly income as me and my wife.

Before marriage-

My wife, her mother and her brother were living in a rented flat. My wife's brother told her that because we are renting, she is having difficulty getting married. Her brother advised her that we should buy a property asap so she can get married. They both decided to put their life savings to buy a flat. On top of that my wife also took a personal loan on her name as they were short of money. Property value is 1.25 crores and both contributed almost equally. For some reason, they decided that the flat will be on her brothers name as he will be taking care of their mother once my wife gets married. So currently him and the mother are living in the property.

Before marriage, my wife made it clear with me that she has given all her life savings to her brother and has also taken a personal loan to give to her brother.

My wife agreed that she will ask her brother to clear her personal loan before we get married. She also agreed that she will not be sending any money to her brother after marriage. She said that all the money that she has earned before marriage is for her brother and all the money that she earns after marriage is ours.

We both agreed that we will bring 0 money in the marriage and we will both start from scratch. So in short, I have kept all my money with myself (for personal use) and my wife has given all her money to her brother.

We also agreed that we will share all the bills, expenses and investments equally (from the money we earn after marriage)

After marriage-

After about a month of marriage I asked my wife if the personal loan has been cleared by her brother as promised. My wife said that she didn’t have the guts to tell her brother to pay the loan off. She said that my brother has looked after me all my life and I am what I am today because of my brother.

I told her that this is not what we had agreed before marriage and we had a massive argument and she started crying. She said that she feels guilty asking for money from her brother.

During that argument she also told me that she wished she had married someone else, who wouldn’t stop her to send money to her brother even after marriage.

The loan amount was getting deducted from her salary after marriage and finally the last instalment was taken from her salary after 6 months of our marriage. So the personal loan is now fully paid.

Her brother shows my wife that he is having financial difficulty but in truth he is now a sole owner of a 1.25 crore flat.

My wife doesn’t want to take the money from him. My wife says its between him and her and this was before marriage when I didn’t exist in her life. She says that this is a gift for my elder brother for helping me reach where I'm today.

I feel like he has emotionally blackmailed my wife.

When my wife stays at her brothers place during vacation, he expects her to use her money for all the things that she needs. He makes her feel guilty and uncomfortable, if at all he has to pay for something while she stays there with them.

My wife is too attached to her brother. She thinks of him as a godly figure. She also spends a lot of time on a matrimonial site on a daily basis, looking for a girl for her brother.

They also talk to each other every single day for about 20-30 minutes.

Me, my wife and our baby are still living in a rented flat and we are both saving for a deposit to buy our first home. Obviously, this is going to take a long time.

Questions:

I'm getting negative feelings for her brother.

I feel like asking him to repay the full amount back to my wife (all her life savings and the personal loan). As the main intention to buy the property was to get my wife married.

I also feel cheated at the same time because my wife didn't keep the promise of asking her brother to pay the loan off before marriage.

I am also not happy that I have to wait for a couple of years to save a deposit for the property as we agreed not to use our personal savings in marriage.

I feel everything is complicated financially because of her brother.

Should I use my personal money to buy a property? Or should I wait and contribute equally with my wife once we reach that figure?

I feel scared that I may lose my wife if I speak to her brother about money.

Am I being a bad person here?

I’m a 25-year-old woman engaged to my 35-year-old fiancé. He’s very close to his younger sister, who’s 34 and married. While their closeness didn’t bother me before, lately I’ve been feeling uncomfortable about the dynamic.

When we talked about how I’d like to have a housekeeper after we have kids, my fiancé dismissed the idea, saying I could handle house chores and childcare because his sister does it all the time without help. This comparison upset me because I don’t feel it’s fair to use her situation as a standard for what I should do.

What’s also strange is that, despite knowing his sister’s husband for 16 years, my fiancé never mentions him and once referred to him as a “weakling” during a family argument. When I asked how he felt about the guy, he just said, “Yeah, sure,” but later admitted they aren’t close. It’s surprising given how much he idolizes his sister. In contrast, he only speaks negatively about his older sister, which creates a noticeable imbalance in how he views his siblings.

My fiancé also buys gifts for his sisters and their kids regularly, far more often than he does for anyone else. Once, during an argument, he even said that if I ever tried to leave him with our kids, he’d take them—illegally if necessary—and have his sisters raise them. That comment really stuck with me and added to my unease.

When I shared that his closeness to his sister made me uncomfortable, he shrugged it off, saying, “She’s been married since she was 17, so?” implying I was accusing something inappropriate, which I wasn’t. My concern is more about the emotional investment and how much time he dedicates to her, rather than to our relationship.

Another thing I’ve noticed is how much he helps his sister with her career. She’s a graphic designer, and he pays her to design things for his projects while also mentoring her in freelancing. I support their collaboration, but it feels contradictory because he’s expressed that he prefers women to be housewives with lots of children. This also contrasts with our relationship, where he’s said he likes that I didn’t go to college.

I’m left wondering if I’m overreacting or if there’s something unhealthy about this dynamic. How would you feel if you were in my position?

Anything would help

https://gofund.me/bf69bdd8

I have always preferred having experiences over being a hermit... As a kid, I can remember longing for every vacation we ever got to take. I was my happiest when we were on vacation and it's the only memories I really can recall the best. And to be honest, there was still a lot of fighting even on vacation.... As an adult, I believe this to be because I experienced some traumatic upbringing. My parents were often scream fighting and sometimes they threw things, and they were always stressed about money... Whenever we got in trouble we got heavily spanked for everything we ever did wrong.... I tried so hard to be a good kid and never suffer punishments... one of my worst punishments was because I was having an attitude all day and being mouthy, so in order to come out of my room and revisit my family, I had to eat a red chili pepper seed...? I HATE spicy things. If it hurts my mouth, I don't want it. Why did they hurt me because i was having an age appropriate attitude... I often felt like my family prioritized torture methods instead of talking through our problems. Pretty much everyone in my family has stayed in the exact same state, their whole lives. I got to join the military and have bounced around to a few different states. I'm currently in a state I very much enjoy and I'm choosing not to go home for several more years. No one in my family has intentionally made me feel guilty for choosing my own path and have all told me congratulations. However, I have a few examples as to why I feel guilty... my mom didn't talk to me (about the house) for 6 weeks after I told her I was going to be buying a house here. Then when we finally did talk, she told me she had had no plans of ever visiting this state again but she guesses she will, since she has to come see my house... neither of my brothers acknowledged me when I mentioned i would be buying a house. and the younger one (who I'm more close to) only said congrats when I texted him about it. One of my aunts said "sorry, we can't be there to help you move"... I'm not living across the world... it would be nice if some of them offered to visit me... but because I'm the nomad and all of them like having roots I'm left feeling ostracized.

to begin I (f21) let my mom (f45) use my credit card to fix up the house. I bank with Navy Federal and a couple weeks ago. They sent an offer pamphlet about their cash rewards credit card and my mom said I should sign up for it so I can build credit and also earn cash back for whenever I make purchases. So I ended up applying for the credit card with my mom’s help and I got approved for So I ended up applying for the credit card with my mom‘s help and I got approved for an $11,000 limit. however, since I’m in college and I didn’t want my credit card to be sent to my school I had it sent to my house then I get a call from my mom that she wants to use the credit card to fix up the house basically laying down tile and finishing the extra room that we’re having built. So I gave her the OK to use my card for the house and she would just pay me in increments for the balance that she used. However, she has not given me the physical card so I have not spent a dime on it. I have been checking my account and how much she spent on my card and it totals up to almost $7000 and she’s not even using it for home improvements anymore buying stuff on Amazon, Walmart, etc. Now I’ve run into trouble with my car because it needs a new transmission now my options are either get a new car or fix the transmission. most people would just say to get a new car, but I do not have the funds for that since I’m in college and to replace the transmission would be cheaper because the mechanic that I usually go to is very reliable and says it would only be $2600. I think that’s a pretty good deal since most of the places I’ve contacted want more than $4000. anyway today I looked to see how much I had left on the credit card and to see if my mom would give it back to me so I can replace the engine but now it says I only have a credit availability of $1500 and now I’m pissed. And I don’t have that much money in my bank account I literally have less than $200. I don’t know what to do and I heavily rely on my car to go to work and pick up my sister.

I don't remember the last time I regularly said "I love you" on a frequent basis exactly but I do know sometime around Covid beginning same year started freshman year of high school. I know that I said it once again to my parents and siblings all at once sometime within the past 3 years but not this year. I know I noted when I said that at the moment but I can't find the note it might be on my broken phone. I don't know. I can't bring myself to say it. Even to other family members. The abuse I experienced in the past still affects how I live my life today and I don't know if I should forgive them. My parents don't frequently do that anymore, it's only been mental recently but still. I didn't even say those 3 words on my birthday when they came to the state my college was at to celebrate. I didn't say it when it was brother's birthday and my mom's is soon. I don't know what to do or say. They support me now but I don't know if I even love them. College has also screwed up my mind even more with the daily school work and messed up social life. I don't want to hate them, but I don't know if I can forgive them and say "I love you". I'm so confused. The college resources are useless when it comes to mental support. Doesn't help with my grades not being what I want in addition to people talking behind my back, and the sun here barely shows so its gloomy everyday ever since late fall. I believe its too late to say those three words cause my birthday passed and I didn't say then when they were physically there at my out of state college. Now I really can't say it because a certain factor is taking place when I go back to my state during winter break that I can't say the three words then. I don't even know if posting on this website can help with this amount of context. All I know is my family doesn't even expect me to say "I love you" anymore as it's been so long. We don't hug, kiss, eat together or do anything I've seen other families do anymore. My roommates hang out, laugh, talk with their family and mingle with other floormates but I stay alone, working and doing extracurriculars to prove my worth to my family. I hope it's worth it. I have no talent elsewhere other than being miserable. They say "I love you" to their parents and it bothers me. What kind of son and brother am I?

So when we were kids my brother and I were the best of friends. We did everything together.

Now he’s super annoying. He comes into my room without knocking, he walks around naked, he farts, he is disrespectful and talks back.

I miss the sweet 5 year old from years ago that would make me laugh and we’d get along

Okay so I have a question I would like to see what the mass of people think about it. So my brother passed away a little over 5 years ago, the middle of three brothers(I’m the youngest). He was 28 when he passed and I miss him dearly as does all of the family, it particularly hit my mother the hardest which is understandable that was her baby, her boy she had grew all by herself and done a fantastic job raising. I always told myself if I ever had a little boy I would name him after my brother, well that time has come, me and my wife had mentioned to her we thought about naming him after my brother and she looked upset but said oh that’s wonderful, so I immediately took that as I shouldn’t do it which sucked cause I wanted to remember my brother that way, but I also care deeply for my parents, so I talked with my wife and she felt she saw the same thing on her face, fast forward a bit and I talked to my father about it and mentioned we may do a different named and he told me that he thought was for the best, which I took to heart cause my father also lost a brother when he was younger and never used his deceased brothers name for any of his sons, after that I decided to ask my grandpa (my fathers dad) what he thought, which I figured would be good since he had lost a son and could give me some insight how he would of felt, well he told me I should name my son whatever I’d like and to no worry to much on what the others think cause at the end of the day he is my son, and I respect that. I feel I should mention I never asked my mom how she felt until recently. So the other day we were sitting outside enjoying the beautiful day when she came to visit me and I mentioned that I did at one point want to name him after my brother and that we had decided to do away with that and just use my brothers middle name as my sons middle name, to avoid any sadness some family members may have when they speak to my son in the time to come. (It was directed at her but I told her for the whole family) well she kind of looked at me sad like, I assumed she felt like we didn’t want to remember him anymore or something of the sort, my mother is a very emotional person and when she gets upset she gets depressed, so I typically try to avoid to much sadness when I’m around her, I guess what I’m curious to know is am I making the right decision to not use my brothers first name? I mean honestly, I’m not gonna change it last minute back to my brothers first name, I guess I’m just curious as to why my mom looked sad when I mentioned it both times… maybe I should just speak to my mom on a personal level and ask how she felt, but like I said, she gets depressed easily so I don’t want to upset her… sometimes life’s hard. If you’ve read this far, thank you💜

We just bought a house early this year around the same time my wife’s sister and husband also bought a house. However they decided to do a remodel and bunk in with us, we didn’t bother much because the remodel was supposed to end in three months, however now it’s December now and as all remodels to the contractor keeps promising them and it keeps getting extended. Which we had told them way in advance it’s gonna be a headache of an issue managing something of this scale with a full time job. A little more context on us we just got married late last year so this was supposed to be a lot of firsts for us but I feel we’ve not got to enjoy any of it because we’re always having additional eyes and ears, with everything we do. What we cook, where we go, what we buy. And at this point it’s getting irritating. I don’t want to be the bad guy, but I really don’t know how to handle this situation. The only space where I feel at home is in the bedroom where we end up whispering to each other. It’s been an awkward situation with us and I don’t know where to draw the line. I find it super hard to be and feel at home in my own house whereas my in laws are a little extra comfortable spreading their legs on the couch and so on, which makes it even more awkward for me. It’s going to be our first Christmas together in our new home and every day the last few months all I do is try to spend as little time at home because it’s become borderline annoying with all the fights they have with the contractor and bringing it to us and that’s all we ever talk about. The whole biome at home is very depressing with all the crying and yelling and it really makes going home not pleasant anymore.

While all of this is totally nothing we signed up for it’s bothering me ever more, I don’t know how to handle this never having lived with family. I have tried my best to be empathetic and not say anything, lend a listening ear and be as minimally involved as possible. I don’t know how to tackle this situation if this keeps trickling into the new year as well. I just want to come home to my wife and make memories with her without having to explain ourselves constantly to my in laws butting into all the conversation and all our decision!

Please help!

Is cutting your parents off on anyone's list? Because mine are toxic how bout yall??

My family is dysfunctional and when my brother went to high school and beyond he understandably put a lot of distance between him and us. We're not close anymore. We haven't talked in months. No big falling out, just he wants to put the crazy and dramatic parents behind him and I was left behind to. He focuses on his friends. It's been years since he remembered my birthday even though I always sent him one. This year...I feel like just quitting trying and not sending anything. I'm tired of reaching out halfway but not being considered enough for him to meet me halfway.

Hi guys, i dont want to make this very long So to say the essential, i am M30 , unemployed and both of my parents, sadly most of my family have a way about them, that just makes us very incompatible…sadly it look me long to figure it out, but essentially i am the product of an overly anxious and controlling mother and a very aggressive father, who both keep up appearances instead of caring about how i felt about things that made me uncomfortable, they only cared about how it looked to them. My father, i no longer live with, parents divorced btw

Example, i have spent my life giving compliments etc, being nice to be nice , only to see now whenever i criticise my mother, she turns it around and calls me a narcissistic who always has to be right, who needs therapy etc, when she is the one exploding when she doesn’t get her way and being nasty, during discussions i try my best to remain calm and objectively say, “if there is something upsetting you, you absolutely can communicate it to me, as i can equally to you, but you cant speak over me when i am speaking, i dont to you” sounds so childish, but we argue often. Mostly about my appearance or job scenario. The latter I understand.

What she doesn’t know, which i keept from her cause i know she is very conservative etc, is i question my gender identity, and thus deal with dysphoria sometimes, especially considering my balding, i have male bald pattern, so my hair at the back is pretty bad compared to the rest, and the other day, as its been months since i got my hair cut, i touched the back, felt more hair and was lil happier, hung onto that for joy (i hve depression, yes am on meds) but whilst out shopping, first my mother asks if i want to go to the hair dressers to get my hair cut, i say, no thanks, then an hour later at another shop she says “omg the back of yr hair looks awful, shall we go cut it now?” And i said, again, no i am not ready….next day she tells me she already booked for my hair cut for this saturday….i told her, its my head, my body, my appearance , my choice…and i am an adult, she has also made comments about what i wear not being trendy, and to quote her “i am known here in town, i dont want you to embaras me, you have no pride in how you look” …

today i said sorry about her being physically stressed yesterday after our argument, cause i dont want her to get stressed , she says shouting at me “your gonna give me a bloodclot or a coronery,” even though i dont swear, shout or offend, i use calmness and she calls me manipulative for that…i dont wanna anger her, but i also have to stand my ground regarding MY BODY, its bad enough the dysphoria inducing comments of “you act or sound like a girl”, “cut your nails” “you look spastic” …shouldnt a parent care more about their childrens emotional well being and self view of themselves not “omg what will people say or think?”, i dress normally, usually more sports like comfortable trousers but i dont dress anything that brings attention, my coats are normal, t shirts are normal…im just trying the best i can to get on with life…so i snapped today after i apologized for stressing her and her response was a nasty “ oh well you should have yesterday i expected an apology yesterday” i said im sorry she felt stressed but my hair is my hair, and she said “you still dont seem how selfish you are, how you always have to be right”… and i exploded, i wanted to smash things, cause her mental games and gaslighting just AHHHHH, i walked back and said “cancel my hair appointment, its my hair, my decision! Ok?l”, to retaliate she angrily took my phone and tablet away, locked them and the computer room, which she does whenever is is really mad at me…..

Advice?

So hey everyone!! My name is Rishita Paul am 23 yrs old. Am new to reddit!! Can't wait to explore this app!!! Hehe!!!!

This probably seems mundane. I need some input. My family eats in front of the TV every night. My wife and I only have one child, a nine-year-old girl. We all spend a ton of time together and love each other very much. One of us seems to manage to pick her up from school every day and is home with her in the afternoon. My wife and I work full time, often more than full time, so on weeknights it is absolutely common for one of us to get home at 7pm. Before seven, my son is allowed to watch a ½ hour of TV, but sometimes it’s more. One of us, usually me, cooks all our meals. We all wait to eat together, but we always eat in front of the TV. My wife and I are usually quite tired, and our child likes watching with us. We only have one TV in the house, so we choose and watch shows/movies together. We usually watch TV together from 7 to 9pm, then go to bed. Sadly, on the weekends, we do this too. We usually decide on a movie. The weekends are more of a comfort, relaxing thing. I grew up in a house this would have been looked down upon. Obviously, I am conflicted. Eating at the dinner table was considered important, and I can’t disagree. Our daughter is completely well socialized and polite child, though, to be honest, her table manners are not good, obviously. : 0 That’s a downside. My wife and I discuss this a lot and rationalize that we’re a small family and spend quite a lot of time together otherwise. We do play games and do activities on some nights too. I was just hoping for some insight from others if this sounds really bad. I am willing to hear an argument that our dinner arrangement is not good.

My sister, over a year ago, sent me her graduation cap for me to paint. Right after that, I ended up having to move several times and never got around to painting it. Now, my sister and I are not speaking, and after the things she said to me, I doubt we ever will again. What I’m wondering is, knowing her, she’ll insist I send it back to her (she lives in a different state) and, aside from refusing to pay for shipping, I’m honestly feeling pretty petty and want to just toss it. I am not looking for a lecture, just an answer as to whether or not I’m legally allowed to throw it away.

Edit - I am 22 and she is 34. I am absolutely not sending it back. If she feels strongly enough to come pick it up, whatever. But I know her well enough to know that she won’t do that - I’m moving again in about a month and don’t want her to have any legs to stand on should I choose to toss it.

I’m in my 20s and living with parents. My mom uses our kitchen as her office, and so whenever she is on video calls, I cannot be in there and cannot walk through (the foyer to leave the house with shoes/jackets/car keys is only accessible through the kitchen). Most mornings, I either have to be up much earlier than I need to be in order to make breakfast and leave for work, or I have to go in 2 hours late to work if I miss the cutoff window for when I’d have enough time to do my thing and leave the house.

Tonight specifically, I won’t be able to eat dinner until 10pm if I don’t leave work early to start making it by 4pm based on her zoom schedule.

Is this reasonable and/or something other’s experience? Am I supposed to be fine having to jump through these hoops in order to maintain a normal schedule because my parents are letting me live there? Or is my mom being unfair?

My Dad and older brother(19) and close and he basically gets anything handed to him because he’s older.

My mom baby’s my younger brother(11) and he honestly gets away with everything and cry’s and gets what he wants

Me(16) I have to work, get in trouble for stuff my brothers do or don’t do and everything.

Sometimes I don’t understand why parents wanted three kids if they have favorites

Hey..I am xyz..I have an elder siter (8yrs gap) .she eloped nd gtit married to a guy I am very well acquainted to..but my parents arent at all in agreemnt to whatall has happened .now she ia pregnant 8mnths..THANKYOUU..n I am nowhere near her..I text hee call her we talk ..me n my sister(other;elder sister) .but I just dont know I feel Im missing on soo many things..soo manyy crucial .. most amazing nd forever cherishable moments of my and her's life..what do I do as a brother to make her feel Iam there for her in and after the baby is born🧚🏼‍♀️🧿🤌🏼..bcz of our parents we also might not be able to visit her during the delivery which is in dec end or jan initial...I hve heard so much abt post patrum depression and what not .wwhat can I do on my part...i just can believe all this is real n I'm here for advice..legittt on redit..but yeahhhh🌷🧚🏼‍♀️🥴🫠!!!!!!!!!

my parents do nothing but make my life more difficult than it already is. they bought a car for me to use almost 2 years ago and to this day i still have to fight to use it. they keep holding things over my head and it pisses me off. i am a 19 year old female college student. i live on campus and nothing here is walking distance. i applied to over 150 jobs in 25 days, none of these companies wanna hire me. when i do find a job, my parents make me quit it if transportation is unreliable because they would rather do anything but give me the car. they make me walk and take the bus everywhere and it makes my life a living hell. the nearest stop and shop is a 2 hour walk and my parents would rather keep spending money to get me places, then complain about how much money they have to spend on me (while refusing to give me the car).

last week my mom said that if i take driving lessons i can get the car. when i came home for thanksgiving my parents did nothing but argue with me the whole time, then kick me out, then as soon as i finish my driving lessons and ask for the car, now they dont wanna give me it because theyre holding the argument over my head (i didnt even start anything. they kept calling me out of my room to yell at me about something).

i am over this bullshit and im over my parents treating me like a little kid they keep thinking this is doing me a favor whole time this is doing nothing but make me wanna remove them from my life and never talk to them again. my parents see how much i struggle in college every day. im always broke, i never have food, and looking for a job is a nightmare. they are completely aware of all of this and just say too bad, we cant help.

i am trying to get a job and a damn car and my parents are making this stressful for no reason. i am sick and tired of the way they act and i want nothing to do with them. my mom does nothing but argue with me all damn day and my dad does nothing but enable her behavior because he’s a yes-man and defends everything she does even when its plain wrong and abusive. my parents are Caribbean (from Haiti) and theyve been acting like this all my life and its obvious they have no plans on stopping. literally nothing is stopping me from trying to get on my feet but them. every time im about to make the finish line they push it back farther and i feel like my time is being wasted and played with. someone PLEASE help me because i am infuriated with anger right now.

https://youtu.be/keJetv-YO1I?si=abDGTLZBozRH9ocu

So for context I have an older brother who is 28. I hate him. I have not spoken to him in around 15 years. The other day my family sat me down and told me my brother is deeply depressed due to me not speaking to him or forgiving him for his actions and I need to forgive him. They said they feel sorry for him and that he is now a changed person-FYI he has not changed in the slightest.

So at 5 years old we got took away from our alcoholic mother to live with our grandparents. Since the day I moved there I was physically and emotionally abused since being in my early 22s mostly by my brother and grandmother (who of course denies everything? To make this post quicker and easier to read I will lift things that happened to me and you can just comment if you think these are forgivable

1.In the middle of the night he would wake me up by smothering me with pillows and strangling me

2. When I was in the shower he turned it up to the full heat which burned all my body and it got severely infected and I had dressings for over a year-grandmother lied to the drs said I did this myself and didn’t know how to use the shower

3. He would grab me by my hair and then put a heavy object on my hair so I couldn’t move and then repeatedly kick me in the vagina so I could never have my own kids as he would say

4. Grab my fingers put them in a door way and then slam the door on them

5.hide behind the bathroom door and when I was filling the sink to have a wash would then drown my in the water

6.every year for my birthday my real dad would buy me a birthday cake which he would then stab all over and ruin with a knife

7. He would heat up the oven and then grab my body and shove me on the boiling oven burning me

He would walk past me and punch me in the face causing me teeth to fall out, nose bleeds and black eyes which my grandmother would tell everyone I did to myself for attention

When he was in high school he was 2 years above me he and his friends would come and put gum in my hair or splatter their food on me. They would also chase me home afterschool pushing me over or in to oncoming traffic

Even when he was in his early 20s he would continue to beat me up for no reason. He would just walk past me and grab me and slam my head in to a wall repeatedly

My grandmother acts innocent however she contributed to this which she denies. If I did something wrong such as not make my bed she would threaten me by saying ‘I will tell your brother’ or she would send him up to me to beat me up to teach me not to do it again. She would see him doing these things to me and say that it was my own fault or ‘all brothers do this to their sisters and I need to stop complaining’

She also gave him the idea to take my underwear in to school and post on Facebook. Due to the years of being kicked in the vagina it has left me with continent issues and I would often wet my underwear. Instead of doing my laundry she provided my brother with the underwear who then showed them to people in school to prove I wet myself which then involved more people bullying me.

These are just a few of the things that happened to me and are actaully some of the milder things. My family say I need to get over it and forgive my brother. They said he was traumatised due to being taken away from our mother and that is why he treated me like that. They say he is a better person now yet I know for a fact he isn’t as I heard through a friend he abused his girlfriend and she left him. When I told my family this they blamed it on the girlfriend

I can’t and will never forgive him. He is planning to have kids and a wedding apparently and I will not be going or have anything to do with that kid. My family say I’m the cruel one and I need to stop clinging to the past. Seriously do you think any of these things are forgivable?

My little brother (M8) and I (F18) have had a good relationship since he was born. I've treated him more of a son than a brother for a long time and I love him dearly. Although now we keep fighting and it becomes nuclear which creates problems with my parents who then blame me qs i am the older and more "mature" sibling. I had to leave home when he was 6 for school for 2 years and didn't see him for a while and then after 2 years I saw him after calling with him this whole time. He was the same kid I knew but taller and could read and write and talk back. But this was growing so I didn't mind but he's been absorbing everything I do and become a bitchy little me and I can say I'm not the greatest influence. Lately I've been telling him to not do things I do and how I'm not as reliable as I should be and started changing my attitude so he can see im changing like he should. But also he has this anger problem. I think though its sue ro the medicine hes been taking which kinda amos it up due to his breathing problems and on top of that undiagnosed autism. But he will blow up at small things like his noodles r to spicy, he can't build his Legos correctly, he loses in roblox games and slams the Door screams and locks it and throws stuff across the room and after giving him time to cool and approaching him softly he will hurt me or slam the door. He will never yell or insult me in the face and just frowns, breathe loudly with glassy eyes and run away. I used to be able to calm him down but now he doesn't listen and throws this tantrum EVERYDAY. I don't think there has been a day where he doesn't throw for months. I try to calm him, be strict, be there when he needs me most or needs me every min none of it has been working. There has also been times where we talk about this and he listens and says he will try to fix his attitude and cool down and all this stuff but inevitably breaks it. I've tried almost everything I can think of but I'm so tired. Is there some way maybe I'm not hitting it or trying? Can someone help or figure out what he may need? Anything plz.