/r/badroommates

Photograph via snooOG

Give us your tales of bad roommates. The gross, the annoying, the psychotic.

And if you have the solution to bad roommates, please let us know!

The subreddit to share your tales of the people you just can't get away from. Whether you share a room, an apartment, a floor, a washing machine, or just a refrigerator, we want to hear your story.

Having problems with your landlord? Check out r/tenant.

Please follow the Reddiquette when posting.

Rules

  1. Relevancy - Posts must be about your bad roommates, not landlords or general issues with people. Joke posts/shitposts (i.e. Pictures of your pets) aren't allowed. Posts that are just revenge stories aren't allowed.

  2. Civility - Users must abide by the sitewide TOS. Any suggestions or calls for violence will be met with a permanent ban. Do not attempt to harass anyone mentioned in posts on this sub, on behalf of the OP or otherwise.

  3. Personal identifiable information must be removed. Posts containing any identifiable information will be removed. Attempting to find personal information of anyone in the post will be met with a permanent ban.

  4. Update posts - Making an update to your previous situation is fine, but this sub is not for posting serials. Post major updates in an update post if you feel it's warranted, but minor updates should either be communicated via updates to the original posts or comments. While this will be primarily enforced by mod discretion, users who make excessively frequent posts about their situation(s) will start having their posts removed.

  5. No spam of any kind. Soliciting donations, directly or indirectly, will be met with an immediate permanent ban.

/r/badroommates

423,031 Subscribers

2

Sleep lost yet again cause of roommate

I hoped this would be the last time I posted about this situation but oh well. It’s end sem week and last night my roommate started arguing with me because my laundry was in her direct line of sight and she didn’t like seeing that. The thing is the fan is in the middle of the room, and I’m not even fully on “her side” on the room (dividing it in half exactly isn’t even possible) I really just wanted to get it over with, so I was like okay so if you have a problem with me drying my clothes on your side, fine I’ll keep it more towards mine. It’s not like it’s obstructing her path or anything, it’s in the corner where I also keep a bag. She didn’t have a problem with it for 4 months but now she does. Changing rooms is not a possibility when I approached the RA, so yeah. She came last night with her friend at like 3:30 am and turned on the light and shuffled through her clothes. I told her to turn them off and use a torch or smth, she said she didn’t have one. They came back again this time and turned off the lights but were talking right next to me. I’m pretty sure swearing me out but whatever. I’m so tired of her man, I don’t care about the layout (which is what the solution offered by the RA is), I just don’t want to be in the same room as her! Literally lost sleep and got a mini panic attack last night. What do I even do in this situation- my exam is tmrw and I’m so behind on schedule now, and feel so stressed just by thinking about going back to my room. How do I stand up for myself ? I can’t stay with her for another 4 months. I literally cannot.

0 Comments
2024/12/01
07:59 UTC

5

It is 11F outside and my roommate keeps switching the heat off and the AC on (in addition to opening the windows)-am I wrong about it being too cold?

I am a professional living in a city in the Midwest, in an apartment with 3 students. It has been 11-17 degrees F outside today, and for most of the past few weeks one of my roommates had been leaving the living room windows open while the heat was running. I sent a few friendly reminders not to do this as it puts strain on the heater-now she thinks it is totally fine to leave the windows open and run AC 24/7 when there is snow on the ground. One morning before it got this cold I woke up and my thermometer read that the living room had gotten down to 52 degrees. All three of my roommates have also been switching off the heater (which I compromised to set at 68 instead of 70) because they claim that is too warm and costly. Should I offer to foot the bill to preserve some of my sanity and warmth? I am from the Southern US so maybe I’m just sensitive to the cold? My mom also thinks I’m being ridiculous because she leaves her house at 60 in the winter, although it is much warmer where she lives. Surely this is not normal? I mean I’m freezing and I’m fatter than all of my roommates

14 Comments
2024/12/01
05:52 UTC

2

My roommate left his trashbag full of rotting meat and vegetables in our dorm over break. How do i hold back from panicking when i confront him?

Literally smelled like a decomposing body when i opened the door, which was realllyyyyy nice to come back to after a 9 hour drive. This has to end and i need to tell him off but i feel sick and start shaking whenever i try to work up the courage. I'm confronting him no matter what tomorrow morning but does anyone have any tips to minimize that anxiety when i do? He's literally the roommate from hell and I can't stand him. This was my breaking point and i literally just can't. I'm going to try to talk to my ra about moving rooms as well.

5 Comments
2024/12/01
05:05 UTC

2

should i find a new place

i (19 F) have my first two roommates in a house, one is (18 F) and one is (29 F). Basically theres been beef between me and the 18 yr old one and im closer to the 29 year old because i moved in to the house first. The house has (29 F)'s name under in it

The 29 year old is a good woman, very accomodating and kind, but i saw her true colors the other night.

The other night when me and my roomi (18 F) was talking about the sink pipes that was leaking and flooding and the washing machine being broken, it was 11 pm and her and i was just talking about the (29 F) is not doing her job as a tenant. (we are not on a lease) and suddenly this girl started talking about how we can bring (29 F) to court and i told her idk about that and idk if i wanna be involved because its my first time moving out.

I cleaned the flooded floor because of the pipes and then my roomie (18) called (29) roomie in the middle of the night at 12 am and my other roomate said she's gonna come by the house and she did after an hour when my (18 F) roomie is sleeping.

The first thing she told me when she came to the house is "i'm never gonna live with kids again" "im never gonna live with 10 year olds again." "idk what you two have been talking about me but bring me to court i dont care" and i just felt weird because she was also accusing me like im bothering her because we need something fixed. I understand that she's been stressed and hasnt been home.

I wanna mind yall that the whole time we've told her that the washer js broken or the sink is flooded was 3 times. From those days, ive not continously messaged her about it.

She hasnt been home since she got engaged with her bf and is staying over at her mans house. She's getting marrjed this decemver and has asked me if i wanna move in with them and before everything happened, i said yes but now im second guessing it by how the words she's using with me after that incident.

She wants to kick out my 18 F roomie because she threatened her that night and asked for her money back and not pay this month's (december) rent. what's crazy as well is what she (29 F) told me that night, "if we move in to the new house, are you also gonna do this to us?"

Yeah. So im second guessing and want to keep my options open, we're moving in with her fiance and her fiance's brother.

I need advice, plz help. I only want to stay because she okay with rent payment, i dont pay late but when i ask to adjust some dates she's fine. I'm afraid i wont be able to find a tenant like that after i move out.

Im paying 750$ per month, im a student

0 Comments
2024/12/01
04:43 UTC

3

cant wait until the semester is over

been dealing with my first roommate ever and she has been making the change over so fucking hard for me.

originally it started out fine, we had little boundary discussions, we got along, etc etc. but as time went on, our personalities started to really harshly clash against each other and all of our habits just set the other off but kept silent. I tried a few times to talk through them, set better boundaries, bc at this point i really hated having her as a roommate, but still liked her as a person.

after this talk she did fix a few things for a bit, and i continue to work on some things shes complained about. however, as the days since have gone by, she clearly sees herself as above me, lecturing me for all sorts of random shit, when shes MAYBE 2 years older than me, and also a foreign exchange student? so culture things clash too but i try to be mindful of it.

anyways, despite all of this, she regularly prevents me from being able to sleep (including rn, she doesnt even need the lights on.. and refuses to go somewhere else to do her shit so i can sleep...), is super loud and not mindful of me, brings people over semi frequently who are also super loud without any warning, half of our floor space is covered with her many many shoes, etc etc. and whenever i try to confront her about these things she pulls the "its my room too" card and im honestly so sick of her shit.

luckily she is a senior, and will be graduating in about two ish weeks, but ive lost a lot of sleep and sanity due to her the last few months.

1 Comment
2024/12/01
04:30 UTC

2

Strange behaviors and zero communication from roommate

I'm 20F living with a roommate who is also 20F. We moved in a few months ago to our dorm for college and things were going fine, they acted nice towards me but red flags arose pretty quickly. They did not have any furniture in the dorm except a few dishes and a ton of makeup products. So I brought out my stuff from living in a dorm in the past such as an electric kettle, a toaster, an air fryer, a rice cooker, and an induction stove top. She also did not have a frying pan so I told her we could share one I made the boundary pretty early on that she can use the furniture I brought but she could not use my utensils or my dishes, and I also asked her not to use my pots or my other frying pan because I didn't want to have my own items lingering in the sink unwashed. She also could not depend on herself to do anything and asking me to repair stuff, and even making me open the door for her because a neighbor wanted to say hi.

A few months went by and our communications dimmed as I had to ask her to constantly for common sense shared space practices such as, not speaking loudly to a friend past midnight (she still does it but quietly), not using the utensils I asked her not to touch, and to stop slamming doors because she was intentionally swinging them and causing the room the shake. By this point, any conversation we had was a one way street where I would ask her to do something and she would say okay.

Then one day I needed to go to the bathroom but I noticed the door was locked so I knocked hoping she would be on her way out or something but no one answered. I thought maybe it was somehow locked from the inside so I knocked again and there was no response from her. So this time I called out to her seeing if shes even in the house and no response but I started to hear whispering inside the bathroom. I couldn't understand what she was saying since she was speaking in Russian and I started to panic from this insane event. I asked if she was okay and the whispering got even louder and I hard knocked multiple times which would have vibrated through the bathroom and the doors are pretty unstable. She didn't respond again so I told her I'm going to get help from someone if she doesn't respond and I went down to the service desk and found someone with medical skills and a key to unlock the bathroom door. I came back inside the dorm to see the bathroom door opened and her door closed. So I knocked on her door and she told me that she was talking to her friend and had headphones in so she couldn't hear. I knew this was a lie because the whispering to her "friend" only begun after I knocked the third time and she would have heard the constant door knocks echoing through the whole bathroom.

I ignored this and moved on so that it wouldn't affect my mental health but then a few weeks later the dorm became extremely cold and the thermostat in our dorm is only located in her room. I spent a few weeks seeing if it would go away and then knocked her door to ask if the thermostat is working. She told me she doesn't know how to use the thermostat so I turned it on for her but then the next day the dorm was extremely hot. I found her in the kitchen and I asked what the temperature of the dorm is. She then showed me to her room where I saw the thermostat at 32 degrees celsius. I thought maybe she was used to farenheit and asked her to put it down to 22 degrees instead because 32 is ludicrous. The next day I noticed the dorm was still extremely hot but I was so done with interacting with her that I waited out a week to see if it would change. I met her again and I asked her what the temperature of the room is and she told me 22. I said I don't think that's true so I asked to check her room and it was on 32 again. I told her 32 celsius is unlivable and I said I could compromise for 25 celsius if she wants to be warm.

I have to live with this person for another five months before the school year is over and I'm so exhausted from her lack of communication skills and straight-up gaslighting attempts. We always say hi to each other but now I outright try to avoid her because I just think she is so unpredictable and I don't want to care about what this person does.

0 Comments
2024/12/01
03:04 UTC

4

Living with a difficult housemate and stuck

My housemate is causing constant drama, and I feel I'm the current escape goat, but I can’t afford to move now. What can I do?

-

I’m a 29-year-old woman, and I live with 4 other people: 2 men in their 30s, one 26-year-old woman, and another 32-year-old woman. We share a house because current housing prices are crazy. We don’t have a shared contract and rent each room separately.

I’ve shared flats before, and I usually became friends with my roommates. In my last home, we were all evicted because the landlord said they needed the apartment for a family emergency (likely a lie because they turned it into an Airbnb, but OK). We had to find housing ASAP, and we all ended up in different places.

I ended up in this apartment, living with men and women. At first, it was fine. It didn’t feel like “home,” but it was a house and a roof over my head.

A few months ago, the problems started with one of the housemates, the 32-year-old woman. She began fighting with one of the guys a lot. We later found out she had complained to the landlord, saying he was scaring her (which was a lie) and that she didn’t feel safe living with him. The landlord talked to them both and said they were welcome to leave if they wanted. That guy decided he’d had enough and started looking for a new place.

A few weeks later, there was an issue with dirty dishes in the kitchen. The other guy admitted he forgot to clean up and took care of it the next day. We were fine with that until the 32-year-old woman came to me and started trash-talking him, calling him a pig. She also mentioned she had talked to the landlord about the “pig situation.”

Not long after that, I had an encounter with her in the kitchen. I had just come out of the shower in a towel to get food I had left cooking on the stove. She appeared and started asking why I was in a towel because it was cold. I explained I was just getting my food and going back to my room. She kept pushing about the towel, but I brushed it off.

A few days later, I needed a rolling paper for a cigarette. Since I knew she smoked, I knocked on her door and called out. Her door was unlocked, and a guy (her boyfriend, I assume) came to the door. I asked for her, and he said she was in the shower. I said I needed papers but could come back later, and I left.

About 30 minutes later, she knocked loudly on my door, demanding to know why I went into her room. She accused me of being desperate to “engage with her guy” (what?) and of walking around in my towel to show off and try to “steal” him. I was shocked. I tried to explain, but she refused to listen, told me to “fuck off, bitch,” and left. She hasn’t spoken to me since.

The final straw was this week. I came home one day and went to throw some paper in the trash, only to find my Tupperware in there. I texted the group, and she replied that she had cleaned and organized the kitchen and thrown away any mismatched Tupperware. I told her mine wasn’t mismatched, and she said I could fish it out of the trash if I cared so much.

I was upset but retrieved my Tupperware, washed it, and put it away. Two lids were still missing, so I asked the group chat again. She replied, “If they’re not in the trash, it’s not my problem.” The other housemates called her out, saying she should take responsibility for throwing things away without checking with anyone. She started arguing with everyone, especially the guy who was packing up to leave because of her, and then she kicked him out of the group chat.

He knocked on her door, called her name a few times, and left when she told him to “fuck off.” About 30 minutes later, I got a message from the landlord, saying she had accused him of trying to kick her door in and that she felt unsafe. This is a lie—we were all home, and nothing like that happened. My room is next to hers, and I would’ve heard it if it were true.

Fast forward a few days. I’ve been dealing with severe insomnia due to losing my job, which has triggered anxiety and depression. One night, since I couldn’t sleep, I decided to do laundry. When I got to the washing machine, someone else’s clothes were in there. Here’s where I might have made a mistake—I took the clothes out, put them on the living room table, and started my laundry. Normally, I’d text the group chat or hang the clothes, but I was on autopilot. I forgot to send a message.

The next day, I woke up in the afternoon after another sleepless night to find messages in the group chat. She was saying someone trashed her clothes and that we were monsters. I replied, explaining I had taken them out but hadn’t done anything to them.

When I went to retrieve my laundry, I noticed it wasn’t hanging the way I had left it (yes, I have a system for airflow and matching clips—don’t judge). Then I saw my clothes were dirty like someone had rubbed them on the floor.

I asked the group chat, and she responded, “Maybe it was karma.” When I went to confront her, the landlord was already in her room. She accused me of being obsessed with her life, job, and boyfriend and claimed I was trying to ruin her.

The landlord told us to leave if we couldn’t get along. I started crying after the landlord left because I can not afford to move right now, or to have another problem in my life right now and I'm already stressing enough. She called me a faker with crocodile tears, blew joint smoke in my face, and slammed her door calling me a bitch again.

Also not related but we never know (right?): some food from the shelves and fridge went missing the last couple of weeks and no one knows who is taking it.

I’m exhausted and don’t know what to do. I can’t handle her making my life hell, but I also can’t afford to move until I find a new job.

Any advice? Please...

4 Comments
2024/12/01
00:36 UTC

0

Terrible landlord, awful roommates

Tldr: you learn a lot about someone's real character when they're your landlord.

In May, I moved into a house owned by my bf's friend.

The friend is an artist and does a lot of community work. He's very congenial. He and his family also own 11 properties, something that causes him insecurity as he juggles the image of "struggling artist". In order to get a mortgage for this property, he was forced to get a job in a library for TWO days a week, which he would often complain about.

It turns out that he was one of the worst landlords that I've ever had. And I've had a lot.

At first, he was living in the house with us. We noticed that there were damp problems, which he got someone in to fix, while reminding us how expensive all this maintainance was. As my bf's friend, he would constantly try to hang out with us, which at first was fine, but he would also ask us where we were going, even when it was none of his business.

A few weeks later, he needed to fill two other rooms. He found two people who claimed to be "friends" with each other, but turned out to be another couple. The guy of the couple offered to help the landlord out with the garden. And from that moment on, things went down hill.

The new couple were messy, selfish with space (sometimes using the kitchen with the door closed from 3.30pm-10pm, which is a real kicker when I worked from home), did things like putting their dirty clothes on the shelf on top of my toothbrush when having a shower. And they didn't have a life outside shift work and the house, so they were ALWAYS in. Whenever we complained, he would take their side. He would also try to manipulate us into helping out with the garden as well - something that I refused to do, because I am paying him, not the other way around. He would also get them to do some of the maintainance, as well as make sure the heating was turned off as soon as we turned it on.

He eventually went to move in with his bf, so needed to fill his room with someone else. He found a teacher, who was really nice. She is also Muslim (relevent later). She had standards, which he was immediately wary of. He is lazy. She complained about more mould, and a rat problem. He switched on her and threatened to throw her out immediately (very different from his public persona).

A few months later, I was moving out as my bf went travelling. He organised viewings for my room (perfectly fine). On one occasion, he went into my room, went through all my stuff and put it into random drawers and cupboards. A complete breach of privacy and he didn't seem to understand what was wrong with that.

I stopped engaging with him and left the group chat. He would then "pass on" messages from the chat, including a number of false complaints from the couple.

He finally found someone, but stupidly agreed she could move in ON THE DAY, I was moving out. Insane. It meant the move was stressful and he also tried to make me feel guilty that the new housemate was cleaning my room - something he should have done.

Fast forward a few weeks later, and I get a text from the teacher. She is being bullied by the couple, she thinks due to her religion. The landlord is taking the couple's side and has threatened to evict her without notice (he is not allowed to do that). She's a teacher! An already stressful job. She also tells me that the neanderthal guy has been making homophobic comments about me and my boyfriend, which I can believe.

It turns out that he doesn't have an HMO licence and has been renting the property illegally. Along with the mould, plumbing and rat problems. She has reported him to the authorities and he is in line for a huge fine.

I think this whole thing has been very instructive. Its amazing how someone with such a kind public persona can turn out to be completely amoral. He basically fills his properties more vulnerable people who don't know the rules and are often willing to take on his landlord duties without realising its wrong.

Landlords wield a huge amount of power over people's lives. A good landlord will serve their tenants and stay out of their lives. This landlord seems to think tenants are there to serve him. It's outrageous.

Anyway, he's about to get a huge amount of karma coming his way for running an illegal HMO. He is in line for a £30,000 fine and is liable to refund all of the rent he took.

2 Comments
2024/12/01
00:06 UTC

3

I want to take my xbox back into my room but im worried its a bitchy move

I put my xbox in common area so anyone could use it whenever they want. without permission. I trust them so no issues there.i already have a gaming pc which i use in my room. Now i got some new games. im going to be playing it a lot more. I dont want to be hogging the common tv. My live in landlord uses it to play battlefield. My other 2 roomates dont use it at all. Or maybe i should have bought the games for my pc and not my xbox.

another thing to consider. My live in landlord lets me borrow his car as i dont have one as long as he knows he wont be using it. i dont really want to take the xbox back to my room since he uses it.

10 Comments
2024/11/30
19:59 UTC

1

Roommate bf is over a lot

So, I live with four other girls all college students. One girl has her bf over almost everyday and night. Even to a point, when she’s on campus he’s still in the house. We’ve had some problems with this girl, she doesn’t clean up after herself and I’ve directly messaged her about one incident and she was pretty defensive and lied about me not doing my chores (I do them and even made the schedule so she remembers to do it). Anyway, I’ve talk to the landlord, but they told us to deal with it ourselves. I feel like it’ll be worse to talk to her directly again considering she said she felt like I was trying to argue with her and attack her the last time. What should we do?

5 Comments
2024/11/30
19:22 UTC

22

Can't decide if I should just wait this out, roommates anger issues scare me.

I(29f) have lived at my place for 7 years and recently offered a room to a 55 yr old women I found on a roommates app. It has only been two months and she isn't on a lease or anything and only plans on staying for 5 months. I thought since I am a homebody who enjoys crafts and relaxing that living with an older women might be a great vibe unfortunately I was very wrong.

The first night she was here I heard her screaming bloody murder at around 2:30am. I asked outside her door if everything was okay but she didn't respond so I just went back to sleep while she kind of paced around. The next day she sent me a text apologizing saying that she sometimes wakes up screaming but it won't happen again. I tried to be empathetic because we all have our trauma and I was trying not to judge her on that but things became worse and worse.

I started noticing that she always wakes up around 2:30-3 and she swears repeats "are you fucking kidding me" and yells loudly and slams things around. It was never directed towards me but it's very stressful to hear every night and one night/morning she was screaming and I geniunely thought there was like a rat in her room or something. She was hysterically crying and said she has bed bugs and now we are going to have to burn everything. I asked her to see the bed bug in question and it was a fucking lady bug and she laughed.

She has become more and more comfortable with her angry outbursts and being loud as all fuck when she wakes up at 3am. It's completely ruined my sleep because I work around 7:30 so I rarely get back to sleep and I sometimes feel scared to even leave my room to pee when I hear her slamming things around. Today I had the day off and I made a chickpea dish and put half in a bowl not knowing if I would still be hungry so I left the rest on the stove for a minute while eating. She comes downstairs and literally starts slamming things around and dramatically washing the pan like right in front of me. I honestly just stared at her and she just stormed back up to her room.

I really just want to kick her out at this point but I also think the 30 days of her notice will be scary. She clearly has a lot of mental issues but I don't know if I can do three more months of this shit. I haven't even worked on art in awhile and feel stressed when I'm home now. Anyways slightly just venting and completely unsure what the best coarse of action is in this situation.

16 Comments
2024/11/30
16:42 UTC

24

I had a literal crack dealer living in my house

I lived in a houseshare for a few years because of the cheap rent, unfortunately a new landlord bought the house. I used to have 3 people living in a house with 6 rooms. The landlord wanted to fill the rooms up however so he contacted the local council who had someone in desperate need. The house had a tiny room that was literally called "The box room" on mail and had cheaper rent as a result. So this guy, let's call him D for dickhead, moved in.

Literally within one day of moving in, he'd stolen my hand towel out of the shared bathroom so I politely asked for it back in the house group chat because I was so utterly perplexed. Then a day later I noticed some Aero mousses missing from the fridge, I bought a few reduced so I initially just put it down to miscounting. Then a few days later, I'd gotten two 18 inch pizzas from Costco, I had one in a day and left the other in the fridge to reheat for dinner throughout the week. D stole the entire pizza in one go, he managed to eat a £10 pizza in one sitting. I knew it was him but I couldn't prove it, out of 6 housemates, one housemate hadn't moved in yet, one hadn't yet used the kitchen, the other two I'd lived with for a year with no problems. So I called out the ""anonymous"" thief out in the group chat and it turned out he'd been stealing from the other two original housemates. I was thinking maybe it could have been his friends he kept inviting round, because no-one could be that blatant, surely? At least he'd returned my hand towel to the bathroom which I promptly washed three times. After two more days, I was sat on the stairs waiting for an Amazon delivery, I went to the bathroom and continued waiting. Whilst I was waiting, I heard Ds door open and go to the bathroom. After getting my parcel, I walked into the bathroom to find my hand towel soaking and smelling of BO, he'd wiped his dick on my hand towel. After a few days of him literally just living off of our food, we made a group chat so we could confirm it was him. One of the OG 2 housemates literally caught him red handed stealing food from my cupboard the same evening, like literally opening it with food in his hands.

So at that point we knew for sure it was him but couldn't outright prove it. We contacted the landlord who it turned out was on holiday for a couple of weeks so couldn't do anything about it. The landlord told us he couldn't do anything about it once he got back from holiday, so D just kept stealing food. He was getting cocky and started stealing more stuff from around the house, namely expensive facewipes from the bathroom cupboard which I need for sensitive skin. He only came out at night time because he was mostly unemployed doing an occasional night shift doing building work every couple of weeks, to get the council off his back. I knew this because he'd gotten a taxi back from his work and told the driver that whoever opened the door would pay for it, he never answered the door to the house. I had to literally get coded padlocks for the fridge and all of the cupboards, I gave the codes to every other housemate. Whilst all of this was going on he'd started angrily contacting us telling us to stop calling him a thief in the group chat.. we'd never said his name. The entire time he'd been literally smoking Marijuana in his room causing the entire house to be flooded with smoke multiple times a day and inviting many different dodgy blokes around the house, he was clearly dealing.

With his profits from dealing, stealing, and his occasional night shifts, he bought a moped and a 55 inch television. He'd just left the box outside without even breaking it down, I gave him the benefit of the doubt literally this one time because I thought "there's no way in hell he'd be stupid enough to have such a big TV in a tiny room". One of the OG housemates demanded whoever the box belong to break it down, of course D proudly admitted to it because he didn't think there would be consequences. I sent a link showing the fines we could get to the group chat, I told him thanks for admitting it. He got pissed off and said he had a receipt for the TV in case I wanted to accuse him of stealing it. I replied with "At least you got a receipt for something you own, ay?".

At that point he lost it and stated threatening me.. in a group chat with our landlord in it. The landlord still couldn't do anything about it as long as D was paying rent. So us the OG 3 housemates demanded a meeting where the landlord revealed that D hadn't paid any rent, he'd just been pocketing the money that the council had sent him for rent. D got bored and spent hours brute forcing every combination in the lock to get into the cupboards one night, at this point every house mate had to take all of our stuff out of the kitchen and bathroom. We all had to get mini fridges to store our stuff in, D had even been stealing cutlery and plates, we genuinely couldn't figure out how he was fitting it all in his room. It was so ridiculous that was were starting to question each other because he was stealing so much that we were starting to doubt it could just be him. It genuinely was just him. One housemate stole a carton of eggs off of D as revenge, at which point D lost his shit and threatened to bin everything in the kitchen, like the air fryer and everything else that wasn't pinned down. I myself made some laxative brownies and left it out, he stole the entire box and spent 6 hours shitting and crying in the bathroom. That STILL didn't stop him stealing stuff we'd occasionally forgot to take out of the kitchen.

D also never cleaned up after himself in the bathroom, he pissed all over the floor and toilet seat every time he went in. I had my girlfriend at the time visit for a week and literally every single time she used the bathroom, D tried to get in, thank god she locked it. He was literally sat in his room waiting to try walk in on her in the bathroom, he waited outside for her at one point and leered at her ass as she walked away. That's what finally made me lose it, I got the other OG housemates together and we were planning on moving out when D got a letter from the landlord threatening to evict him.

One of the new housemates finally lost his shit as well and threatened, at 2am, to kick his door him and beat his ass. It turned out that D owed money to a lot of people, £120 to said housemate S. I was laying in bed smiling to myself as I could hear D panicking and promising to get the money to him. S was getting more and more angry, D started calling the police, but S shouted through his door that he knew about Ds convictions and the police wouldn't do anything for him. I didn't know about said convictions but it turned out that literally googling his full name showed two arrests made within a year of each other. The landlord hadn't even Google searched this guy, one arrest was causing £2000 worth of damage to a hotel room and the other was for weed dealing. He'd turned up to court with track suit bottoms on, faked learning difficulties and pulled the "but I have a kid card" so the gullible judge had let him off because D "was getting his act together". Some woman had genuinely given birth to this scumbags child. Lo and behold a year later and a giant angry man was at his door demanding money off of him and for him to stop stealing from the housemates.

Sure enough his door got kicked down the very next day by two particularly irate customers of his who he'd scammed, I presumed S just let them in. D wasn't in it at the time. Ds room was filled with mouldy food and stolen cutlery. Essentially months of stolen stuff that he'd denied stealing, all while angrily threatening us for calling him out in our group chat. He had also been stealing entire tubs of my expensive face wipes, not just using one, stealing entire tubs of 50. To rub it in, he'd even been taking big chunks just to waste more. Once D got back from a hard day of being a stain on society, he realised what had happened and immediately fled to stay at a friends house.

The landlord questioned the housemates to see if anyone had seen anything but we wouldn't have said anything if we had, we all despised D. The landlord put a notice of abandonment on Ds possessions and forced him to sign a document stating that he was no longer living there. That was in return for him not having to pay for the fire door and 4 months worth of rent, about £2000 total. Ironically the same amount D had to pay that previously mentioned hotel in damages. D claimed he had no money so the landlord gave him that deal, then a week later D demanded access to his possessions. The landlord escorted him into the house and I genuinely shit you not, one of the housemates overheard D telling the landlord that he needed access to his room to get his passport because he was going to South Africa and he'd been to Tenerife a few weeks earlier as well.

He essentially used the money he'd been given by the council for rent to buy:

A moped A flat screen TV Weed + crack to smoke and sell A week in Tenerife A holiday in South Africa Take away pizzas every other day

Bear in mind I was working a nearly minimum wage job with a 2 hour commute (NHS, got to love it) and this piece of shit was stealing £100s of food + bathroom supplies from the housemates

The cleaning lady found baggies of crack underneath his bed, he'd been inviting literal crackheads into the house and selling to them. It's a bloody miracle I didn't get murdered

He ended up fleeing the country and had two dozen letters sent to him from the council before he finally got what looked like an arrest warrant. To this day I don't know what happened to D, but I strongly hope it's jail.

Btw if a mod wants to verify this story as real, I can PM Ds name and a picture of the broken down door/threats

8 Comments
2024/11/30
11:13 UTC

71

Room mate doesn't respect my house - basic rule ignored

A friend was down on his luck, so offered to take him in, I have a spare bedroom, until he could get back on his feet. He was really up against a wall, and was very grateful. I had his relatives saying to me what a nice thing I was doing for him. It's my house - I have a mortgage.

One issue I am very particular with - is washing oils and fats down the sink. Another acquaintance had a massive plumbing bill after a blocked drain, so I take care what I wash into the kitchen sink. I wipe pans and plate with a paper towel, before washing. He thinks this is silly and doesn't do that. He'll cook bacon, and just wash it all down the sink. Eventually he agreed on the rule - but more than once I've caught him washing fat down the drain. Each time it was "no I didn't do that", when I told him that he cooked bacon, it becomes "well there wasn't very much". It's annoying as all hell for me. He does it and thinks he can get away it. I do have cameras and he's still doing it.

AITA?

edit: He's making me feel like a tryrant. I am not sure why he is digging his heels in here and making it his hill to die on or something. I am questioning if I am rational or not

edit 2: It got to the point where I asked him to just stop washing dishes. I'll do them all I said. He ignores it and still washes fats down the drain. He washes other dishes under the tap and put them away - no no no I've said. I do them in the dishwasher, or I wash the old fashioned way - NOT under a tap. He just keeps on going when he thinks I'm not looking. I don't get it.

86 Comments
2024/11/30
08:31 UTC

15

Classic “Does my roommate’s boyfriend stay over too often?”

My girlfriend and I got an apartment with my best friend in September. It’s been going okay so far. The main problem is her boyfriend stays over at least 5/6 nights a week! We didn’t set boundaries prior. Which was obviously a mistake. I just didn’t expect him to be over that often. And, they weren’t officially dating at the time either. He smokes cigarettes(I don’t judge I love me a good drunk cig). But, he also drinks every night he’s there. My gf had a really abusive alcoholic father. So, she’s not the biggest fan of having a drunk man around so often. They leave dishes in the sink for days on end. And, their hair all over the shower. They cook dinner at 10pm when we work at 7am. In a 800 square foot apartment. He lays on the couch we bought while she cooks him dinner. And, it makes us feel like we can’t utilize the space. Most days we come home. Shes “watching tv”(using her phone and laptop while ignoring whatever is actually playing on the TV) until whenever he gets there. To “save” the living room for them to use. Last night he was saying he wanted to “punch the fuck out of” the person we were watching on TV. Because, they had a speech impediment that affected their pronunciation. And I guess that annoyed him or something idk It just made us feel uncomfortable watching stuff in our living room around him. I don’t want to come off as a bitch. And, I want her to have company. It’s just becoming a little annoying and much at this point. I asked her once why they never go to his place. And, she says he claims it’s “no place for a lady” because of his roommates. I feel bad telling her she can’t have someone over in her home you know? Any tips on how I can approach the situation? And if I should at all?

Edit:Spelling- yikes

11 Comments
2024/11/30
05:43 UTC

40

Roommate went through my bag and exported photos from my camera without asking…

I was scrolling through Instagram and I saw that photos that were taken on my digicam were posted by one of my friends. At first, I was confused.. How did those photos make it to Instagram if I hadn’t exported them myself.

It turns out I’d left my bag and jacket upstairs the night before. I asked in the house group chat if anyone had used or touched my camera at all. One of my roommates confessed and said it was her that ripped the photos off of my SD card. I’d said everything was fine and that next time she should ask me if she wants photos as my SD card and camera are personal, private property.

She then messaged me privately saying that next time I shouldn’t air her out in the group chat (although initially I had no idea who had accessed my camera so it was never targeted). I brushed it off because I didn’t want to escalate the situation further and she’d said sorry. But it’s still bugging me. At first, it felt irrational for me to be angry at such a minute thing, but as time passes I realise I don’t trust my things around her anymore. I feel like my boundaries have been violated. I just don’t understand why she wouldn’t ask before doing that. Am I being crazy?

46 Comments
2024/11/30
04:34 UTC

7

Update to "We're done"

Here is the link to the first post so you can follow along: https://www.reddit.com/r/badroommates/comments/1gz5mxx/were_done/

Good news. I am the primary lease holder so my landlord said, you can either remove him from the lease or move to another unit. So that's what we did: He NEVER apologized for the things he said and tried to sweet talk my husband. So he said, so what are you doing? Are you leaving or we are?

He said, I guess we can go through the "process" of me leaving, look at how long it took to put me on the lease though, so we already knew he was going to take his sweet time so we both started calling and texting the landlord until she responded to me and within 20 minutes his name was removed. Starting December 1st he's no longer allowed in the apartment. He was a bit surprised but acted nonchalant through text message. You know what's the crazy thing? This guy is In the room right now acting like he isn't! He hid his car. He is in there prob drinking and spying on us and seeing what we say about him, or other people so he can go behind our backs. WE packed all his stuff, he asked if he could stay till the 4th we said no, on the 1st you're out. If this was a different situation we would say yes, but he's literally hiding himself from us, probably spying on us and drinking nonstop. I'm so beyond annoyed. How dare you act like this in MY home? After I fed you, I cleaned your stuff and tolerated your nonsense? He's still trying to bribe my husband, saying, can you keep this, can you keep that but we chose to just cut him off for LIFE so we refused anything from him.

Our plan is to change the locks once he's out. I'm hoping he won't play games or we're seriously going to call the cops.

2 Comments
2024/11/30
03:37 UTC

619

Would I be a bad roommate to refuse to pay the full rent when my roommate is going to be gone for a month?

My roommate left on a trip last weekend and won't be back to mid January, right before he left he told me that I am going to play the full months rent since I'm the only person living there. He asked me today for the payment but I am starting to think it's not right that I am supposed to pay the full months rent…he is still using up the apartment with his stuff in his room/kitchen/washroom

Would I be wrong/the bad roommate to only pay my half of the rent

Edit: told him to fuck of and il pay the same amount as I did last month for rent/electricity/internet.

Thanks everyone for confirming what I thought was the right thing to do

Edit edit: everything backfired. Now being called a bunch of names and being spammed with insults don't know what to do now. I work/live with him

218 Comments
2024/11/30
02:33 UTC

0

Who wrong here?

Me (21F) and one of my roommate (38F), we used to be friends but sometime she ignored me and talk to me again (kinda weird) and I was normal to her, but I feel that annoyed and she keep complaining about landlord and other roommate and unfriend me on social media randomly so I unfriend her when she talk to me again and ignore her.

Today I was washing my clothes but I was lazy to took it out and sitting on the sofa for a while, she coming and about to took it out, I told her it mine I can do it. She said “bla bla bla I gonna use the laundry..” I said “I KNOW” then she said “bla bla you FUCKING RUDE” I said “what the fuck you just said?” She said “instead of sitting there and be fucking rude… etc” I told her “YOU CRAZY BITCH” then she quiet and walking away. Lol I mean.. weird tho

3 Comments
2024/11/29
22:55 UTC

0

Constantly in the living room

I have had this roommate since October of 2023 and all he does for the vast majority of the day is sit on the couch in the living room (as he rarely works, but pays his bills) and stares directly into his phone and doesn't react to anything unless you address him outright. For further clarification he doesn't just say hi / good morning/ etc. with a stupid little smile / head nod like most other people. I can't help shake the feeling I have a vegetable of a person just rotting in my living room and our couches are situated so that they face each other, so if I was to sit there I'd have to face him and his feet as he doesn't wear socks for some reason. Another issue with this is he uses the overhead light in the living room and I have discussed with him this bothers my eyes and it just didn't change his behavior at all so I just don't sit in there with him. This leaves me stuck in my bedroom most of the time. I also did not pick this roomate as I heard many red flags during our interviews but my other roommate is way too open minded and went with him anyway.

I'm jw, am I being nuts? Also, any advice?

2 Comments
2024/11/29
22:55 UTC

131

Roomate lied about chainsmoking I ended up in ER and now he's upset I didn't give my 30 days

I stayed at this room for not even a month no formal lease signed and I ended up extremely sick because of all his chain smoking. I told him I had asthma and he said he smokes outside that turned out to be a lie. I caught him multiple times smoking inside even in the same room as me I have texts of him saying it's ok cause he opens the windows. He sent me a screenshot saying I have to give a written 30 day notice about leaving but this house is unlivable for me. I only lived here 28 days had to leave work early because of intense asthma attacks and all this guy cares about is his fucking rent. Is there any legal advice I can take?

43 Comments
2024/11/29
19:45 UTC

14

Housemate doesn't own a laundry hamper

He instead put his dirty clothes straight in the Shared washing machine. He also changes clothes like 3 times a day so there's always clothes in there. I don't know if they're clean or dirty or what and I always have to move a bunch of his gross smelly clothes if I ever want to do laundry. I couldn't sleep last night and tried to put some washing on to help pass the time and lo and behond the machine is full when he did a load not 2 days ago. Again, don't know if it's clean or what. Just so annoying because I pay for use of it yet rarely get to use it because his clothes are always in there. This is on top of lots of other things, like being in the one common area from the second he wakes up to the second he goes to sleep (it's at the front of the house and is the loungeroom and kitchen, so I can't even leave the house without him wanting to chat when we have 0 in common. I can't take my dogs out to shit, I can't feed my dogs, I can't eat food without him making comments or asking me things). Leaving the front door wide open for 0 reason leading to my dogs getting out 5 times in the last month, all sorts of shit.

I'm just really frustrated honestly and needed to vent. Why do people look for housemates to pay their bills and then act like they're the only ones in the house it pisses me off. Like am I your cash cow or something?

11 Comments
2024/11/29
19:24 UTC

2

NEED SERIOUS HELP NOW

I have been living in a mobile home for about 6 months renting a room that’s very small. We’ve had a lot of issues as our roommates are my gfs sister and her boyfriend. We have a agreement in our lease that there are no emotional outburst. They have huge fights at least 1 once a week. She’s even came to use and said she was moving out and we were stuck because of the contract that they have violated so many times the lease is a joke. So fast forward we have had electrical issues with overriding the circuit and constantly losing power. This is the reason we moved our desktop and desk to the living room. So after about 6 months we have been demanded to move our desk back which after 6 months of accumulation furniture we cannot fit it back in our rook with out getting rid of our dresser and nightstand. Which I won’t do cause it cost me money. They have said that they only agreed to rent us the room and we have no space in our living room. She wants to increase the rent because of the desk which I and my gf work from home at. I don’t know how to handle telling them I won’t move it and I have no intentions on moving it because they are over emotional. What do I do ? Please give me some advice. p.s they both want us to start letting them know whenever I have a guest over so that there 2 dogs and 1 cat can be put away even tho they have never harmed a soul. I don’t feel it’s fair to have to ask for permission to have my family over. The only reason the shared spaces ever get cleaned is because I have guest over. They don’t clean they constantly argue and we don’t have the funds to just move out today. Please help

2 Comments
2024/11/29
17:53 UTC

1

looking for advice on college roommate

my current roommate has been causing me a lot of trouble. he’s very unclean, very annoying, and very nosy. i have lived in our shared dorm since august, and he moved in in october, meaning i have been there longer. would i still have to be the one to move if, or when, i make the choice to break the roommate contract?

2 Comments
2024/11/29
17:12 UTC

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