After yet another not-so-great singles event last night, l'm feeling a little emotionally sore. l've built a full and happy life on my own. I have my own home, a stable job with great income, hobbies, ano strong connections with friends and family, but as I near 38, I still deeply want to find my person, build a life together, and eventually have a family of my own. I'm not looking for advice to just enjoy being single or work on myself. I've done that. I've been in therapy for four years, I have a gorgeous cat l adore, and after taking a year off due to a chronic illness, I'm now healthy and fully back in the dating world. And l've realised nothing compares to the intimacy and companionship I crave in a significant other. This year, I'm committed to giving myself the best chance. I'm attending singles events, braving the dating apps, and being open in my social circles and hobbies because if I don't try, I'll never know. Beyond that, I'll figure out Plan B along the way. So, to those who have been in my shoes and did find love later in life, what kept you going? What helped you stay hopeful when the process felt exhausting?

So long story, I'll try to summarize best I can. I started dating this girl I met in 2020 at the beginning of the pandemic. For convienence sake let's call her 'Symphony'. Me and Symphony dated for almost two years before we eventually got engaged. I loved this girl with all my heart and was sure she was the one.

Cut to four months later she abruptly not only calls off our engagement, but fully breaks up with me believing that we "worked better as friends" this took me off guard because she never even told me where this came from and refused to talk about it. I chose to respect her wishes and we called everything off and I simply started being referred to her as her "best friend".

Fast forward five months later I'm still coming to terms with everything, dealing with the weird looks friends who helped celebrate my engagement gave since I couldn't give them a good excuse why it was called off, in my mind I was still hopeful she'd come back and we could just chalk this up to her just feeling overwhelmed with the engagement, but then she casually mentioned that she not only recently started dating another man, but they'd already started having sex.

This hurt me more than any blow I'd ever taken. I think it was her casualness that hurt the most, she said it as if there was no history between us at all. Time went on, I eventually after about seven months post breakup finally started dating again. It was definitely rough and not as simple as I had hoped, I opened up so much with Symphony that having to start all over felt jarring, but eventually by early 2023 I had a sit down talk with her where I told her that I had honestly finally gotten over my heartbreak from her essentially leaving me for another man.

I even wished her and her new boyfriend a happy life together.

Barely a month later they broke up after he tried to force himself on her and called her selfish for denying him.

She called me and cried on the phone telling me all about it and how much she regretted calling off our engagement and finding another man. A part of me started to forgive her since she sounded genuine until two weeks later, she tells me she's pregnant with her now ex-boyfriend's baby.

And she fully expected me to celebrate with her. She was so happy to be pregnant that she ignored the fact that the child's father essentially tried to forcefully fuck her in the back of his car and also ignored the fact that she was just talking about wanting to restart our engagement.

Nine months later she gave birth to a son. And while we only talked casually to each other through her pregnancy she still fully expected me to not only welcome her, but also the child of the man she left me for into my life.

I played along because I honestly just didn't know what else to do. I thought that if I denied her wanting to restart our engagement all because she had a kid, I would look like a asshole.

I feel like she ran with this and immediately started referring to me as "her man", not only to her family, but to her friends, classmates, and coworkers. While her baby daddy was reduced to be referred to as "The sperm donor".

I eventually opened up fully letting her know they level of pain and heartbreak she put me through and how selfish she was only for her to begin crying on the phone making the excuse that it was her mother's poor parenting that made her choose to call off our engagement. (Her mother didn't think I was man enough because I helped out with chores and cared about Symphony's mental health, but she was fully supportive of the baby daddy, a man who literally tried to r@93 her daughter) I accepted this excuse, but told her that my feelings for her where essentially gone after everything I went through and even after all that she still says how badly she wants to be with me, and how calling off our engagement was and I quote "The biggest mistake of her life, next to meeting her baby daddy".

She mentions us getting married someday,having kids of our own and how she thinks I'd be more of a father figure to her son than his actual father.

I care about her a lot, but I also kinda hate her. She's helped me when I was struggling, but Her behavior just seems so selfish to me now, like a child who wants everything without realizing what's she's taking from others, it almost makes me happy she called off our engagement when she did because she just seems to be so short sighted and selfish now.

Despite this I'm getting closer to thirty and I want to eventually start having a wife and kids. Should I take her back or leave her in the past?

Update: thanks everybody for the comments even the ones that were a little harsh I know they were coming from a place of tough love and I appreciate that, that's why I came to reddit specifically. I want you all to know that I wasted no more time hesitating and I was up front with her telling her that I do not see our relationship with her in the near future. She went silent and I'm going to go watch Sonic 3.

I still plan on remaining friends with her only because I feel it's the more justified route. She killed the relationship and I'm not going to allow her to casually choose when she wants it back after she traded-in a fiancee for a bestie. Plus I recently had a woman hit on me who's been giving several hints so I'm going to see where that goes. And starting a family with someone who wants me from the jump is definitely the most logical route.

For those who believe that I was extremely lenient with her after everything she did to me you're correct. I never denied that but it's mainly because I stopped caring about myself and how I should feel in regards to love and I needed a mass flood of unbiased opinions to push me in the direction that I needed to head towards. So for that, I'd like to thank you all and just wanna say Keanu Reeves is nailing the voice for Shadow the Hedgehog.

I've shared a synopsis of our story before, but we both come from backgrounds in which we each experienced unkindness from other partners. We've been together more than a year now and we're thoroughly happy and supportive of one another. We're both unconventional people, so finding our fit in each other was especially fortuitous!

Denise

Denise the tall beautiful sunflower Unique precious and majestically beautiful

Her face always seeking the sun, the good in people

Denise with the heart of gold, showing the world what love really means

Denise’s perfect dazzling eyes that are filled with warmth and love and intelligence

Denise’s melodic voice that pulls at the strings of my heart and makes my heart leap

Denise’s deep ocean of splendid and magnificent emotions that I love getting lost in with her

Denise’s perfect body that is soft and warm and wonderful to hold

Denise’s dreamy perfect lips like a flower that I long to kiss

Denise’s passionate love like fire and liquid gold in my veins

Denise my love and my angel

The woman of my dreams

It's $5 for each sticker, or you can buy a pack of 10 stickers for $50. If you are interested you can send me a private message

I love seeing guys in love. Little things they’d do for people they love.

My parents aren’t as affectionate but I love to see when dad helps mum to do those small things. Uncap the bottle. Carry the groceries. Peel the shrimp off. Finish her food. Swap with the food that she doesn’t like.

I think that guys don’t express themselves enough so seeing these acts just makes me smile and happy. Knowing that’s how they show their love and affection.

I hope to find someone that would find joy in doing those small acts for me. Someone that would always notice my presence.

To see that happy smiling face of a man in love with me is something I’d look forward to :)

Bed

His arms gently envelop her as they quietly discuss their plans, for tomorrow, and the next day, and 20 years from now, she giggles at his proclamation of wanting 10 kids, the sound of which soothes his soul, and causing him to hold on to her even tighter, never wanting her to slip away.

She presses her face into his chest, taking in his scent, a unique mark that sets him apart from everyone else, all the others could never measure up, she hopes that he holds her tighter, so that she becomes one with him.

They lay in silence, gazing into eachother’s eyes as they fall asleep, their heartbeats matching, breathing in eachother’s air, a small moment of forever, contained in one evening

Me and my wife met off of MySpace back when we were both young teens. She had added me, but we never talked. I knew one of her friends, and she got my number from them, and sent me a Happy Birthday text. We started talking from there. She lived a few towns over from me, so was a bit of a drive, but when we finally met in person, she ran to me, jumped in my arms, and gave me a kiss. Fast forward, and we are now both 33, married, and have two kids. We get on each other's nerves a whole lot more than when we first met, but still crazy for her every day! I Couldnt imagine what life would be like had I never responded to that "Happy Birthday!" text with "Thanks, but who is this?". Hope to be blessed with so many more years with her. 🙏🏻

Hey all,

This is our weekly thread. We'll dispense with Rule 5 in these threads.

What's new in your hunt for love?

I LOVE MY BOYFRIEND I LOVE MY BOYFRIEND I LOVE MY BOYFRIEND I LOVE MY BOYFRIEND I LOVE MY BOYFRIEND I LOVE MY BOYFRIEND I LOVE MY BOYFRIEND I LOVE MY BOYFRIEND I LOVE MY BOYFRIEND I LOVE MY BOYFRIEND I LOVE MY BOYFRIEND I LOVE MY BOYFRIEND I LOVE MY BOYFRIEND I LOVE MY BOYFRIEND I LOVE MY BOYFRIEND I LOVE MY BOYFRIEND I LOVE MY BOYFRIEND I LOVE MY BOYFRIEND I LOVE MY BOYFRIEND I LOVE MY BOYFRIEND I LOVE MY BOYFRIEND I LOVE MY BOYFRIEND I LOVE MY BOYFRIEND I LOVE MY BOYFRIEND I LOVE MY BOYFRIEND I LOVE MY BOYFRIEND I LOVE MY BOYFRIEND I LOVE MY BOYFRIEND I LOVE MY BOYFRIEND

Growing up I was oh so odd. Until 10 I wore matching short and top sets sporting frogs, lizards, kittens. In middle school I went tomboy only wearing gym uniforms and basketball shorts. I started down a path where I abused medication, alcohol, etc. I was always, "one of the guys" and I never had a serious relationship, the ones I found myself in were toxic, one-sided, or to fulfill a man's needs. I've always been awkward, loud, brash, and plain eccentric. When I met my current boyfriend after staying single for quite some time it was on a fluke essentially. I downloaded fb dating so a friend wouldn't feel odd and we hit it off. Throughout the past 2 years I've never felt so accepted, vulnerable, safe, unconditionally loved. We had our qualms and spats but the summer really tested us due to some speedy living situations and we made it through stronger than ever. In my sketchbook, which I'll admit I haven't touched in a few months I found pages of text summarizing our memories,feelings, love and on the final page when I turned it over I found the proposal. I'm still in shock and I'm so happy. I can't believe it's real

I don’t know what to give my bf for Valentine’s Day, any ideas what would make him happy ? For example he likes magic the gathering and he gets cards all the times, but idk which would he want, like maybe boosters with a specific deck? He also likes cars but I don’t think he’d be into having stuffs of car on his clothes etc…

I don’t know who needs to hear this today, but I hope this serves them some comfort. Today’s dusk might tuck you in with hopeless tears… gut-wrenching fact that you’re going into the night all alone. You just don’t know what dawn might have in store for you. While you say “Duh,” we know that; that’s the way of life. Some nights might just be harder for a few.

I was scrolling through a few posts reading how young people are losing hope. In their 20s, wondering if they will ever be loved again or find their soulmates. Some borderline contemplating self-harm; my heart aches thinking about all the people who love them. If you’re reading this, please take a moment to find beauty around you. Give it 3 days; your brain will reset.

In my late 30s, I haven’t met my husband yet. I can’t stop thinking about how much I’m already in love with the person I’ve never met. I’m in love with our future, the nights we’re going to laugh about all the silly dating stories. The days we find comfort in silence, the children we may or may not have. Everything!! I’m in love with everything… It might not make any sense; it might feel like paralyzing hope and haunted dreams. I know the love for him and our future is real to me. It breaks my core even to wonder if he might be out there wondering his soulmate doesn’t exist. He might not even believe in love! So please let time unravel what it has in store for you.

Love your past, present, and future… love yourself…belong to yourself! The world is a better place with you in it :) Let the universe bring you all the people who are yet to fall in love with you! Stay!!

I know there is a spectrum - that for each individual, there are hundreds or maybe hundreds of thousands of people in the world where a relationship would work and have some level of compatibility. And some of those combinations work better than others.

I have spent a lot of my life feeling like the world isn't meant for me. And that people live to hurt other people, whether it's immediately or if it takes time for everything to fall apart. I lost faith in family. I lost faith in friendships. And oh boy did I lose faith in relationships. The entire time I've been on this earth, I've felt like the people in my life have never really cared about anyone but themselves. That they've never truly known what it felt like to want to put someone else first. And I really started to think that was everyone.

Then you happened. I didn't believe it at first, of course, that you really cared. I mean, we were 1800 miles apart and the only interactions we could have were over the phone anyway. And who does that ever work out for? I have bad luck with people so certainly not me. Weeks went by and I was scared sh*tless. I started liking you. A lot. I almost screwed up and threw it all away thinking it was way too good to be true. Six months later, I finally opened myself up again and welcomed you in to break my heart if you so pleased. But I wanted to be yours. Your boyfriend.

Now, almost three years later, after moving across the country and moving in together, I know that throwing us away would have been the worst mistake of my life. Because I had somehow found the one person in the world that surpasses the "spectrum". I know they say there are no perfect people and no perfect couples but I think you're as close to my perfect match as it gets. I think I really did find what some people call a soulmate. And goddamn, I think I may just have to marry you.

I reconnected with a man I haven’t seen nor talked to in over 10 years. As teens we did like each other but never mentioned or acted on it. As we talk and get to know each other again, feelings started getting stronger. That’s where I got scared. I have a lot of childhood trauma and relationships issue that I didn’t know affected me so much. I never seen one good relationship in my life and all my relationships were horrible. This man from day one has shown me nothing but kindness. He is gentle, sweet and affectionate. He gives me the reassurance I need, he always shows up, puts in a lot of effort and does everything he can to learn to love me the way I want too. But all I do is make things hard and push him away. Having feelings for someone is terrifying and I just don’t want to get hurt again but he is so patient.

All this time we have been getting to know each other, we had our little fights. When I feel attacked, I go below the belt at times and say things I don’t mean but it’s with the intent to hurt them the way I felt hurt. When I realized how horrible of a person I was for that, how horrible I sounded, how I was taking things out on him … I couldn’t believe it. I care about him so much, so why do I treat him like that and make it hard? It just clicked how past trauma messed me up and I’m acting like everything I never wanted to be. I hurt the man I was falling in love with. Someone that did nothing to try his hardest to be with me and understand me. I apologized to him, told him why I feel I did it and that it’s not a excuse since I am grown but I am truly ashamed of my actions and for hurting someone I want to be with. He told me “Don’t beat yourself up about it. Just think of the person you want to be from here on out and be that person. It was a mistake and this one thing done define you. I won’t let it change how I view you either. Let just try again and be happy. I love you.” And at that moment I just knew I loved him even more. I still feel didn’t deserve his forgiveness . To have someone look at me knowing I hurt them but is taking to the time to see the good in me and willing to work with me as I change for the better. That’s a feeling I never experienced.

I never thought I deserved to be treated well or with respect. I been told that so many times even when I tried so hard and this man only see’s the good in me. I am going to show him everyday from here on out how much I love and appreciate him! He is the most AMAZING man I have encountered and I get to be with him! How lucky can I be!?

my boyfriend (25) and i (20 female) met a few months ago. i originally didnt wanna go on a date. not because i didn’t find him attractive but because i was nervous. i caved and went. turns out he had the same feeling, he was so nervous he had a panic attack a few minutes before our date. it went great and fast forward a few weeks we became official.

i have many family issues (ie. my brother is an addict + my parents are never around) and to keep it short i am very mentally unwell because of it all. the past few weeks have been really draining. this lovely man knows that i feel safer in his house, as my brother often uses infront of me and it’s difficult. i texted him about a situation that was chaotic and exhausting and he dropped everything to drive 30+ minutes to pick me up. i was too tired to talk, when we got to his house i crawled into bed. he usually plays video games before bed. he also had some household chores to do but he put them off until i was asleep. he got into bed with me, and pulled me close. i cried a little bit into the pillow, and he didn’t say anything because i wasn’t ready to talk about my feelings. he stroked the side of my arm with his thumb, said he loved me, and kissed my shoulder. i fell asleep after a few minutes of him just existing with me in his arms.

i’ve always believed prior to meeting him that it was lucky to be loved by someone but he quickly made me realize, yes it is wonderful to be loved. however, it is even more special to love someone. i feel like he embraces me fully.

another sweet thing about him is that he confided in me that movies that have cancer in its storylines often creeps him out because one of his fears is getting cancer. but i hadn’t known that until after we watched 3 corny movies that had cancer in its plots and he told me he hated them, but he knew it brought me joy. so he put his feelings aside to allow me to be happy. i think that is endearing.

even if this doesn’t work out, i’m glad i get to exist loving him for however long i am allowed.

my boyfriend and i have been together for over two years now, and i swear, i fall more in love with him every single day. he’s always on my mind, morning, noon, and night. even when he’s just gone for an hour, i start missing him like crazy. it honestly feels like my heart is wired to him. ❤️

i love everything about him, his voice, his laugh, the way he looks at me, the way he talks. i just want to be close to him all the time, to feel his touch and presence. it might sound a little intense (maybe even unhealthy?), but i can’t help it. he’s my favorite person in the world, and i just know he’s the one for me!!🫶🏻

i really, really hope he proposes soon because i can’t imagine spending my life with anyone else. fingers crossed! <3

I (35m) wake up at 6:15 am for work, then drive an hour and fifteen minutes to Detroit. My girlfriend (27f) lives in Ohio and usually wakes up later for work, around 10 - 11 am. We usually see each other on the weekends but sometimes we skip weekends to save on money, or if one of us is busy, or if we saw each other a lot the week before (to keep things light) usually during the week our texting is pretty light. A few times a day, sometimes a heavy moment at night. She will usually call me a couple times per week, generally at night time but I noticed lately she will call during the day to tell me she misses me. Well this morning on my way to work I felt my phone buzzing and when I looked and saw it was her I audibly gasp/smiled. Now I’m at work and my day feels so good, just because she called me this morning. It makes the whole day better. I feel more energized. More comfortable at work. Excited about my day. I just thought I would share that. I love her so much.

I’ve never been this happy in a relationship. I’ve never wanted to be open, silly, giggly, at peace or content with my existence and who I am, until I found him. He makes me love myself more everyday, learning and growing into the version of myself I’ve always wanted to be. The honor is all mine for finding someone like him. He’s a fairytale man come true, my prince, my knight in shining armor, and all of the tears I cried for others in the past were worth it. I can’t wait to be his wife; to be loved is the greatest gift this life could have given me.