Heya,

I'm certain you've heard this one, mid twenties guy whose never been in love or a relationship. The past few months I've been feeling really lonely, especially with all the songs / stories about love in our culture xP

But I don't want to wallow, I want some pick-me-ups! Tell me how you met your partner/spouse so I can see ways in which it might happen for me one day 🙂

I know its the most basic question ever but after being in a relationship for almost a year i feel the most confused ive ever been.

I feel like i cant love anyone in a way that feels right, myself included. Everything feels too complicated and exhausting.

I always dreamed of getting married and starting a family, build what i didn't have growing up but now i wonder if its simply not for me, not my destiny.

So, would you be so kind to tell me what is your idea of love and if you believe it is meant for everyone?

she’s my best friend and i want to kiss her.

and i don’t know when it happened or how it came to this point, but she will look at me and smile and i will want nothing more than to cup her face in my hands and taste the feeling of her words on her lips.

and it’s shameful, really. because she is so nice. she is so kind. she’s so iridescent and beautiful and imperfect and i have to lie every time she teasingly asks me why i keep staring at her when she turns her gaze to meet mine. because i’m selfish enough to want her all to myself, but love her enough to a point that i could never take that independence away from her.

but i write her letters and poems. and she keeps them. and she has my watch with her —— and i have plenty of receipts with her name on it stashed somewhere in my drawer. and she will refer to me as half of her soul, and i will laugh and smile and say nothing, but my heart would burst.

she’s instilled a yearning in me through her gentleness. drilled it into my bones. placed it in my palms. fed it through my lips. her hands are pure; mine are not. but for once it feels as if maybe i was meant to love in another way other than with my teeth bared and my fangs out.

and they will ask me if i love her. and i will have to pretend as if my hands have not been stained by a confession that no letter could carry the weight of. she has seeped her way into the crevices of my soul, and within the pulsing of its walls, she has made herself a home. and she will look at me with eyes so full of sunlight. and she will cry, and i do not know how to comfort her. and they will drag a scalpel through the arteries of my heart only to find her within it.

she has bewitched me, and i wish i can tell myself that my feelings are nothing more than friendly, but i would be lying if i did. perhaps one day i can be audacious enough to be able to tell her that all those poems were in fact about her.

but for now, i am afraid that this longing will last me a lifetime.

she’s a collection of every beautiful thing in the world and i love her.

So, my fiancé and I's favorite band is Snow Patrol, and in many ways it has been the soundtrack of our relationship from the start:

For my sweet sixteen, he gave me a music box he built himself that plays "Chasing Cars," with a glass figurine in the shape of the lovers from the cover of the "Eyes Open" album. Everyone else gave me money and gift cards, and in comes this boy with the most thoughtful, personal, elaborate gift I've ever received, just because he remembered a throwaway comment I made months earlier when we were watching a random horror movie about how I've always wanted a music box growing up.

For his birthday, I threw him a surprise party (first surprise party he'd ever had) and decorated the house with hundreds of hanging paper machė arrangements in the shape of the stars and suns from the "A Hundred Million Suns" cover.

In one of our biggest "Wtf were they thinking?" moments, in senior year our English teacher made the entire class participate in the Christmas "talent" show and we were so mad about it that as a form of rebellion the two of us spitefully practiced guitar for months and sang "Crack The Shutters" (a song about sex, i,e. "Your hills and valleys are mapped by my intrepid fingers / And in a naked slumber I dream all this again") in front of the entire school. All these years later, we still cringe about it LMAO.

And this past May, he randomly said he wanted to go have dinner at the place where we had our first "official" date back in high school. It's a restaurant with an assortment of gardens and trails. After dinner, we went walking through the gardens and came to a secluded spot lit with lights wrapped around the trees. Suddenly, music started coming out from hidden speakers in the foliage and as soon as I recognized the first notes, I knew. The song was "Just Say Yes." He started dancing to the beat like an idiot and then went down on one knee. Of course I said yes.

The thing is, we've been lucky enough to be able to see most of our favorite bands live together (Pearl Jam twice, Kodaline, Metallica, The Killers, Death Cab, Alkaline Trio, Linkin Park, etc) but we've never been able to catch Snow Patrol on tour. They toured back in 2018 but we were broken up at the time and miserable and living in different states and neither wanted to go to the show without the other, it would've been heartbreaking. Then in 2019 they toured again and we were back together but we were poor af from flying back and forth to keep our LDR alive.

So then this year they released a new album (which is AMAZING) and announced a new tour next year. Unfortunately, the tour dates coincide with a period where my sister and her wife are going out of the country for a couple of months for a work thing and my fiancė and I agreed to take care of their kid while they're gone. And the closest gig to us is a 20 hour drive so it's not like we can just hire a babysitter. So once again, I resigned myself to the fact that it wasn't meant to be.

Which leads me to today. I've had the most horrible week with a particularly intense flare up of severe insomnia. My fiancé saw how miserable I was and today he was like, "I wanted this to be a surprise but I think cheering you up now is more important. Check this out" and he showed me. See, we're getting married in December and going on our honeymoon to France (yeah, we're a walking clichė) in late January. And on January 30, in Paris: Snow Patrol live in concert, kicking off their new tour. It's sold out, but this amazing, incredible, sexy beast somehow managed to get us front row tickets.

This band's music has legit been a part of our love language for over 10 years and we're finally going to see them live together, in our honeymoon, in motherfucking Paris. I can't stop screaming.

He’s my world. This is just a little post expressing how much I love him and how grateful I am for him. We're so in love with each other. I’m just really happy with him always.🥰♡

I’m pregnant (unplanned pregnancy, but we're happy).

I'm just venting. This is incredibly hard- feel free to ask, comment, give your opinions. I can't talk to many people about this, so anonymously on reddit is a good outlet.

This is incredibly complicated. I'm 24, he's 25. I'd never even held a man's hand romatically before him, he barely dated 1 girl for a month before me. Nothing we haven't spoken about. The good, and all of the bad. Secrecy on my part due to familial disapproval. Long-distance most of the time. Each other's first everything (he has kissed before, but not like we do.) Promise rings for the both of us. Different worldviews on many things. Despite all of that- we consciously choose to conitnue to love. Sometimes, the universe isn't fair. We often say we had no choice in falling like we did, over text, in the beginning.

We ask each other this rhetorical question often-

"Why the fuck did it have to be you?"

Hey all,

This is our weekly thread. We'll dispense with Rule 5 in these threads.

What's new in your hunt for love?

(25F), With chronically suffering from anxiety, I always had a problem with sleeping and eating. As far as I can remember I couldn’t sleep for more than 2 hours straight my whole life and also had a very low appetite. Then 20-21 months back I connected to this old friend of mine, I was going through a heartbreak, a bad one. We started talking and chatting and he always checked up on me and he somehow became part of my life when we were 1600 kms away lol. We had only met once in 2016. We have been talking for a while now but things turned romantic recently and we started dating a few months back. And guys let me tell you. He is a great friend but even a better boyfriend. Everyone always made me feel unlovable and he loves me like breathing. I swear my heart is so full writing this and also for some reason I have tears in my eyes.

Even when we were friends, he always told me to try to sleep well and always stayed up late with me if I couldn’t sleep. But now that we FaceTime each other while we sleep, some few weeks back I told him that I am not sleepy and I am experiencing trouble sleeping yet again and he was very sleepy, he was about to sleep, he just stayed without saying anything. HE JUST STAYED. And he sang songs for me for the first time. We laughed and he was there and he never mentioned it. I have only had people in my life who if helps me in any way will tell me “I did this for you” but this guy, has changed my life and tells me that I am everything. I swear he is everything. We have only met twice since we started dating as it LDR but I hope he stays in my life forever. I don’t know how did I ever got so lucky. He is my best friend, my love and my rock.

I’m so lost!! Any suggestions are welcome!

Gift ideas and/or cute birthday ideas.

I want to make him feel as special as he is to me, and while no material thing can capture that, I want to try my best.

So my partner is big into drifting, he is a mechanic who has his own drift car etc. Today I found out that he bought a shirt of one of his favourite drifters to wear to his drifting events. Not only that but he bought me one too to also wear to his drift events so we could be matching! Hes so sweet and thoughtful (and cute as hell), and the fact hes not only happy to be all matching with me, but wants to, makes me so giddy :)

I, 23M, have been single for my entire existence, until three weeks back. Met this girl an year and a half back, at an exam centre. We spoke very little, and I left after the exam. For around 9 months we asked each other about our courses and how it was going. Then it graduated to silly talks. A month ago we started talking over the phone. On God, she has the best voice I've ever heard. But, it started as friends and I had no intention of going for her. We were good friends. One day I just joked about me getting permission from her parents to marry her. My only intention was to taunt her and guess what? She played along. For which I wasn't prepared. But then, I started thinking. Why shouldn't I go for her? She's the perfect girl. In all sense. I wasn't afraid of getting rejected because she was so cheerful. She wouldn't let me get hurt. So I waited for the right time. We talked more, I tried taunting more, and every single time she played along. Until one day, she asked me,"what are we doing?". I knew I had to do it. I told her how I felt and guess what? SHE LOVES ME! For so long I thought I was unlovable, and I had that too in my mind at the moment. She said as if she read my mind, that I'm the best person she ever met, and she loves me. I was happy but I caught my tongue. I couldn't believe this happened. We're so in love. Now I am gonna do whatever I have to do, so that we both will have a future together. I'm telling y'all. I'm marrying this girl. 2, 3, 4 years down the line, doesn't matter. It's gonna be her. Some might say it's too soon. But my gut says, this is it. Right now I'm focused on being a good boyfriend and work for our future and any advice on how to, is welcome.

Feels so good to put it out there.

I have never felt true electric chemistry until I met him. Emotional intelligence??? He does Judo and mma so he can carry me so easily???? So communicative??? THE CONVERSATIONS!!???

I just left a 3 year relationship with an avoidant bf then in comes this guy?? I'm so scared to fall again but suddenly everything is easy? Time flies like nothing. He's adorable and my smile hasn't left my face since we started talking. Omygod where were you??

We just had a reallyyy intense 4hr makeout session giggling and laughing the whole time.

I (22F) genuinely believe i may have the best boyfriend (22M) ever. We've been dating for about 3 weeks now, and in such a short amount of time, he has shown more effort and love than ive ever had in my life. He's so patient, so kind, so caring. I've truly never been happier. I want to take care of him, cook for him, make sure he's happy. I want to be there for him for as long as he wants me there :,) im just so happy to be with him. He's genuinely like my best friend, I actually giggle around him. He loves me for who i am, even when I'm ugly crying or in bed being lazy. I've never felt more safe and genuinely cared for by someone. I just wanted to brag because I'm just so lucky:,)

My brother (20M) wants to pay me back (32F) for looking after him for his entire childhood. And honestly, I don't want it.

For some context, Our mom was a drug addict and was never around for me or my younger brother. Our father was some hook up buddy of hers who went to prison for murder, just after my brother was born. I had to take care of my brother on my own. I was the one changing his diapers and feeding him when my mom was busy spending all our money on drugs. I was the person who saw him take his first steps, I attended all meetings in school. I was the person with whom he cried when he had any problem. I was essentially like a mom to him.

When our mother died when I was 16 and he was 4, I got myself emancipated and became his legal guardian. I couldn't abandon him to the system. I had to give up my entire teen years and early 20s to raise. And honestly, I have no regrets about this. He's my baby brother, I was going to give him the best possible life, I was prepared to sacrifice for him.

He feels extremely sad that I had to abandon my childhood to look after him and has been constantly asking me to know how he can pay me back. And honestly, I don't want it. Seeing him become this wonderful person is enough for me. He's engaged to a beautiful girl. That's honestly what I want for him. For him to have the life I couldn't get. I know he loves me and he is very grateful for the all the sacrifices I made for him. And that's honestly I need. To know that he appreciates me.

I don't why I wrote this. I guess I just wanted to let me thoughts out. Bro, if you read this, I really don't want anything. To watch you grow is enough and having your love and appreciation is enough for me.

this may be lengthy i apologise, i tend to ramble

i struggle massively with expressing my feelings. its something ive been working on over the years but theres only been a tiny amount of change in that.

im struggling to express how much i love him. i tell him i love him, of course, but my actions and verbal expressions are very much lacking. i dont have much experience in real relationships, and i know that doesnt dictate what should and shouldnt be done, but i dont even know where to start. my form of expression is physical touch - i love kissing and holding him, i love laying in bed with him and being near him, but i feel like thats not always something he wants to do. hes touchy and affectionate, dont get me wrong, but i know that sometimes i do too much of it and he doesnt always want that, which is fine, im not against that and i dial it down a little.

but i dont know how to show him i love him. i cant buy him things i know hed like due to saving for moving out, i cant cook so i cant really make him a meal full of love. i want to take him places when we can both afford to take trips but thats not gonna be until next year, and he knows i want to do this, but he wants us to plan and pay together to make it more equal.

i love him so much but i dont know how to express myself properly.... does anyone have any advice for me here??

When we first met, she was my superior and I'd follow her command. But over the years, we got to a similar footting and even though we don't interact face to face much anymore, we sometimes see each other from the distance and hear each others voices trough wocky tockies(however you write that) and every time I see her or hear her voice I just want to scream from cuteness overload.

You want to hear something that is 100% true ok. I’m 40 years old in a wheelchair only paralyzed from the hips down. I’ve never had a woman find me attractive the closest romantic touch I have every been blessed with was a kiss on my right cheek when I was in grade two so yes all this equals to me never ever ever having been kissed, hugged, cuddled, IM STILL A VIRGIN DUH 🙄. my mind about to explode from praying that I will be blessed by someone that will genuinely, honestly and truthfully tell me that they love me for me and nothing else. I pray desperately for a woman to love me so much that she will make love to me or for me to make her reach the heights of ecstasy as I would much prefer to give then receive. I want to cuddle her, hold her push back the loose string of hair back to behind her ear. Tell her how incredibly cute, sexy, beautiful, gorgeous and adorable she is that if I died right then I would already know what heaven is like just by her. Most of all I just want to be loved and held and to know no matter how terrible of a person I think I am because of what I think I see or my negativity she will be there for me fiercely loyal, fiercely loving, fiercely caring. I want and need love from her emotionally, spiritually, mentally and physically. Until that happens or I die I can only imagine it.

Lastly I want to point out that no I will not just go sleep with a prostitute because I’m spiritual but I want all the things that couples do and take for granted to be the first time with the woman I believe was meant for me.

Thanks for reading bless you all

There are many selfless acts of kindness and love that our friends, family, partners and even sometimes strangers do that we may not be aware of at the time or that they think we wont ever notice.

Recently, I fell asleep cuddling my partner after a long day. I briefly woke up to him gently pressing his fingers on my back, side, and shoulder before pulling the cover up on the areas that he felt were cold. He thought I was fully asleep, didn’t want to disturb me but wanted to ensure I was comfortable and warm. I had never been shown love, no pun intended, “behind my back” in that way before. It exposed me to an entire new world of care and consideration.

I’m curious to know what you have experienced like this that made you realize how much someone cares about you, even when that means they receive nothing in return.

I had a hard day yesterday. It has been a couple of hard days, but yesterday was particularly difficult.

When my boyfriend woke up in the evening (he is on midnights shifts currently), he took the time to listen and help me see the bright side of things. He checked on me throughout the night. He told me he was going to cheer me up after work.

Today, after his 12 hour overnight shift, he met with me for a 5km walk. We went thrifting and out to lunch. He came over, played with my kitty, and then we just laid there in my bed talking for hours. No sex, just cuddles and soft kisses and hugs and good conversation.

Before he left, he asked if I was feeling better. I was able to genuinely answer 'yes'. He said that, despite how tired he was after his 12 hour midnight shift, he just wanted to make sure I was happy.

Ya'll. When I say my heart exploded.

To know that someone feels the same way about me that I feel about them. To be able to have someone who loves me for me, flaws and all. Who cares about how I feel, and will go out of their own way just to make me smile.

This is the best feeling in the world. I can't believe this man is mine.

i (24f) have been with my boyfriend (27m) for about 6 months now, and being with him has shown me that i genuinely don’t think i have ever been truly loved before

i’ve had 2 long term relationships before being with him, one being 4 years and another being 2 years but nothing has ever been like this even in that new relationship phase

i had surgery yesterday and immediately he was there with flowers and chocolate, he booked today off work to take care of me and has tended to my every need. maybe it is a combination of the strong pain killers im on, the pain im in regardless or the hormones raging cos of the surgery but every nice thing he’s done for me today and yesterday has made me cry

i’ve never felt so sure about anyone or anything , ive never felt so loved, cared or appreciated before and it’s the best feeling in the world

I get these fits of feeling so much love that I could explode and I just need to bite all over him. His shoulder, his arms, his sides. Just nibble all over. Nothing painful.

It alarmed him the first time I expressed this, but now he just rolls with it. Which is easier said than done since we're long distance at the moment. But once we're together and I give him love bites, I hope he doesn't mind. I wouldn't do it if he did mind, but it would be so difficult not to nibble all over him.

Does anyone else get this?

Let me tell you why she’s my miracle. She made me believe in love, not the kind you see in movies or read about in books, but the kind that’s real and unshakable. She doesn’t play games; she’s honest, compassionate, and so easy to talk to. She’s my safe space, my sanctuary... there’s nothing I can’t share with her. I’m so lucky it feels almost unfair. She’s turned love into something pure and steady, with no drama, no exhaustion, no doubts... just comfort, joy, and peace. The only “bad” feeling I ever have is wondering if I’m enough for her, but even that thought is fleeting because she makes me feel so secure. Honestly, if that’s my biggest worry, then I know without a doubt: I’m a lucky bastard.

Her love is everything... kind, gentle, and endlessly stable. Sometimes, my heart feels so full it’s almost heavy, like it can’t contain all the love I have for her. And when that happens, all it takes is sending her a simple “I love you” to ease it. She makes my heart calm just by being there. Whenever I feel that overwhelming, beautiful weight of love, I’m reminded again and again: I’m a lucky bastard.

She’s made me feel so comfortable in my own skin that all my insecurities have melted away. I’m so overflowing with love that it spills out to everyone around me. Her love has turned me into someone kinder, happier, and more grateful. The world gave me my world: the smartest, funniest, most beautiful, and amazing woman... and no matter how much kindness I put back into the world, I’ll never be able to repay it for bringing her to me. When my love for her spills over and makes me a better person, there’s no denying it: I’m the luckiest bastard alive.

When you’re used to people victim blaming you and you deeply hide the assault you went through

But you broke down and told him all about it

About your scars , your wounds

Your crazy and embarrassing moments

The things that would drive other men away

He loved about me and he listened

And he didn’t leave

That was love to me

I had never experienced that

It’s almost like it broke his heart

He wasn’t angry

He was sad for me

And he loved to hear my story

That feeling of love

I felt like a child again

And I’ve never had a man do that for me in my life

And we started fighting like crazy around that time

My trauma came out

But he never yelled

He never called me a single name

He always went silent like his heart was broken

And in that moment I realized he was afraid to hurt me like everyone else had

And I felt like a little kid again

Throwing fits

But this time nobody beat me

And even when I brought up other men he never tried to make me jealous

Even when I was unsure of us , he stood by me like a rock

I’m in my mid twenties now and I haven’t experience this type of love before

Stay hopeful

My dear M <3

I (23f) frequently go to see my boyfriend (23m) after work because he helps me relax by talking about his day and fun things he has planned with his friends. Yesterday, I had a particularly stressful day. On my way to his front door, I picked and cracked a pecan from the tree in his yard. He asked where I found it and led him outside to show him. Then, he started picking pecans and cracked them for me while we sat on the porch. I didn’t have to ask him, he just did it. His love is gentle, sweet, loud, and quiet at the same time.

This is only one example of the many things he does for me on a daily occasion.

Never have I had someone do something so simple, yet meaningful and devoted to making me feel loved. I appreciate him for everything that he does for me, no matter how small they may seem.

my birthday was a couple days ago. we went out of town together and had a lot of fun. last night we had plans to share some wine and just hangout. I had texted him some stuff but noticed his phone was off because of the delivered check marks. this obviously sent my brain into a spiral since my ex would do this. I kept calm and asked if he turned off his phone, and about 30 min later he said he did and that he was "doing stuff" which apparently was making art and wanted to minimize distractions. I was like "oh I wanna see" and he said he'll show me later tonight.

boy comes over with a huge gift bag full of stuff and a handmade collage card with the cutest things from magazines in it and some sweet words written.

the way my heart swelled 😭

Hello, fellow lovestruck daydreamers!

TL;DR for anyone not wanting to read my gushing; how do you show your partner that you love them in ways specific to the two of you?

I have been in a relationship with my soul mate for a little over a year, now. We met at work and developed a strong friendship before things escalated and we discovered mutual feelings of affection that have bloomed into something I was adamant couldn't exist. My cynicism crumbles further daily -- I can't even fathom the things I thought were acceptable in a relationship before meeting my lovebug.

Unfortunately (read: very much fortunately,) I find myself becoming sappier and more sentimental as the time passes, but years of bitterness and bad circumstances have given me some trouble when it comes to the bigger ways I want to show love.

My partner likes the "little things"; when I lock the door behind them so they don't have to fuss with their keys, when I'm bringing their water bottle in to them and refill it, (because gosh, that's not meant to be that light!) when I sit with them as they're drifting off even though my insomnia riddled ass is wide-awake, when I grab a little something for them on my corner store caffeine runs...you get the picture, I'm sure!

(Genuine unfortunate note, here: I do suffer from a PDA response that's been acting up lately in light of stress, so I do have to try harder in some areas of this than I'd like, but they make it very easy to learn and grow and very safe to make a mistake and talk about it. I've never felt this seen, but I digress.)

I love making things for people I love. I'm an artist, (unfortunately,) but I'm also a bit of a scatterbrain and too stubborn to give up, so my latest gifts in the making for them specifically include things like a small handmade handbook for a game we play together, bound in leather; a pair of plush slippers crocheted from thick sunny yarn; a watercolor painting of one of their favourite spots in a park nearby; and a tiny polymer figurine of their favourite pokemon.

I also love cooking and baking, so seeing their smile and satisfaction after hours in the kitchen really does something fiercely medicinal to my entire soul and being.

Clearly, I regularly bite off more than I can chew, and I get the feeling my lover will be receiving a pile of handmade Christmas gifts instead of the spaced out random presents I had planned for this snowy season. Oops.

What ways do you show your partner love? Do they prefer the big, grand gestures or do they tear up when you make their eggs just right in the morning?

This is a text I sent my partner a few minutes ago. We’re both in our early 30s and have been together 2.5 years, and somehow I still find myself falling in love with him more everyday. I admire him for so many reasons, but his insatiable desire to grow in every possible way is one of the big ones.

What do you admire most about your SO? And most importantly, don’t forget to let them know :)

I actually don’t know how to tag this tbh. My boyfriend and I are taking a trip to New York for Thanksgiving break. We have been dating for a year and a half and I am finally getting to meet his dad and his extended family. I am so excited!! We are staying for 7 days and for two of those days, we are going into New York City. I’ve never been and he used to go all the time when he lived that way. Now here’s the part that’s causing me a little stress. He said that on one day, we would go check out the Muppets exhibition at a museum there. (I love the muppets so this is definitely tailored to me). And then after that, he is taking me to “a secret special location”. I have been trying to not pry about it because I love a surprise, but he has been hiding his phone from me all week “communicating about the surprise” with other people. The anticipation is killing me. My sister said she knows what it is but she won’t tell me. Which is insane because I can’t think of a single time she ever kept a secret for more than an hour. She just said “you have a very thoughtful boyfriend. You’re gonna love it” SO YOU SEE WHERE MY STRESS IS COMING FROM?? Anyways. Just wanted to share this escapade and if anything happens, I’ll share. I love my boyfriend so much. I’m sure he planned something incredible.