for context: i completely understand that priorities change when in a relationship and i have no issues with that, its how she’s behaving around us that’s becoming an issue

Essentially my friend who i live with (i live with other friends too thank god) spends essentially every waking moment with her boyfriend. He’s always over or shes at his which is fine, but if we ever make plans to hangout she’s constantly checking her phone for messages from him, and yesterday she left our group hangout to go see him and his friends and it’s becoming kinda exhausting.

I totally understand things change in a relationship, however im sick to death with her only ever talking about him and insisting on bringing him everywhere when we hang out, or leaving halfway through any plans with us to go see him.

He hasn’t changed his schedule at all for her, he still sees his friends like normal but she now just spends time with only him and his friends. She now just invites him to our events like our birthdays(and his friends!) without asking us and we are expected to accommodate them, when they’re all kinda rude and don’t speak to us.

All she talks about now is her boyfriend and his friends and anything we have to say is just dismissed.

Any attempt to bring up anything is dismissed, and if him or his friends say anything rude to us she ignores it, but we can’t even make a joke to him without her all getting up in our faces and getting annoyed. Some of his friends were homophobic to my best friend and she’s just brushed it away and expected me to be fine with hanging out with them.

It’s gotten to a point where any plans we have made for the future i know are going to be cancelled or she’s bailing halfway through because of her boyfriend and his friends. Hell I mentioned going to the gym by myself yesterday (we both go to the same gym) and she got pissy because she’s going with her boyfriend and god forbid i somehow be there minding my own business at the same time, so I didn’t go.

It seems to be a her issue, as I have other friends with partners who hardly ever mention them, they have things to talk about outside of their relationship and they don’t bring them to every event we have or abandon plans for them.

Sorry I just really had to get this off my chest, at my wits end here!

There are obvious forms of misogyny ranging from catcalling to domestic violence.

But I think the real roots of misogyny go so deeply into our culture and psyche, that men (and women!) don't even realize how misogynistic they are being.

One example is "strong-willed women." Just read a man's comment saying that he is grateful for strong-willed women in his life like his wife and daughter.

But that descriptor is subtle neg. Why would we never describe a man as a "strong-willed man?" Because he's just a man doing what he wants with his life, and that's normal. But a woman who does what she wants with her life is somehow different than the default woman.

Or take the phrase "women are so much better at [x]." That's just a form of weaponized incompetence. The best answer is "well, then, it's time you learn!"

What else is commonly said that seems positive, but is actually a subtle way to put and keep women in their place?

I was the caretaker. I cleaned after everyone. I fixed and repaired and did home maintenance. I was the family "therapist" and peacekeeper during fights. I took care of my siblings (old and young) and helped them with school. I took care of my disabled father and tired mother. But I got sick of it. I was extremely depressed. I didn't have a life. I found a job out of state and left about 3 years ago and never been happier.

My job is well paid and great and I love where I am. I usually visit family every 6 months. But every time I visit, I do all of the things I used to do and it exhaust me by the time I leave. My family is also extremely religious and conservative, and well...I'm not straight. I haven't come out to them, and I don't plan on it.

My dad health has been deteriorating and they're concerned he's not going to make it in the next couple of months. My mom has been bugging to move back even though both my sister and brother who are grown ass adults are very capable. "They just don't do it as good". And because i never complain or do things half assed. Just the thought that my new life that I've built can be taken away is giving me panic attacks.

I don't know if i have the strength to fight them off. I do love them and care about their well being, especially my mom, but they can be so selfish and toxic. I feel crippling guilt and shame that I don't want to have anything to do with them. I'm also scared that they'll force themselves into my life here. Like if my dad passes, my sister will bring my mom here so we can take care of her. How do I say no....

Okay, so I hope I'm okay to post this here. If it's not appropriate, by all means, please delete. I am seeking advice or shared experiences.

One of my (F) best friends (F) today came over today to talk, as she had a very distressing incident happen to her a few days ago.

She went to a gyneacologist after having some suspicious growth cut out and sent off for testing. When he was doing the examination, he very clearly rubbed her clitoris not once, but twice.

Let me be clear, this was no accident, and it happened twice in the 1 sitting/examination.

My friend is wanting to follow it up and is aware of AHPRA (Australian Health Practitioner Regulation Agency), but is unsure of the best way to start dealing with this. As we were Googling things together, it's very clear that many medical professionals get a "slap on the wrist" for this kind of misconduct, if any consequences at all. So, we're trying to think strategically the best first move for her to make. He cannot just get away with doing this, not only for her, but for other women that he may try this with. He's been practising for a few decades. One does wonder how many others there are!

Another consideration that's worth noting, is this gyneacologist is quite high up and very well respected in his field. He gets referrals from gyneacologists that have patients with abnormalities etc, and oversees training others I believe, as he is also a professor.

My friend has tried looking at his Google reviews to see if there's anyone with similar experiences, but there were none of this nature. I don't know that anyone would post something like that, and if they did, I'm sure there's a way to "clean up" reviews like that when you're a medical professional that holds so much power in his field.

A couple of people had mentioned in the reviews that their partners weren't allowed in the room at the time of examination, even at their request.

Please if anyone has any advice, it would be greatly appreciated 🙏

Thank you for taking the time to read.

Idk if the title makes me (19F) seem cruel. I've recently fled an abusive home and end up spending a lot of time in youth centres where there are other people around my age who are homeless or also in precarious living situations. All with mental health issues. I have some plans for getting through this situation which include going to trauma counselling and occupational therapy, moving to a city further away from where my abuser is, reconnecting with art and music, and getting some vocational training so I can work jobs that pay more than minimum wage.

The problem I find with these youth centres are that I've met a lot of vulnerable men (normally 22-25) who take an interest in me. Whenever I'm not at a center with my close friend, someone will approach me and try to initiate a conversation and take on a flirty tone.

The first time this happened, I decided to flirt back and we hung out for a few weeks. We both agreed that there wasn't commitment expected from me even though there was a potential for it, but he started making me uncomfortable and I told him that I didn't want to keep flirting with him and that the possibility of a relationship was off the table. After this, he'd keep sending me messages telling me how bad he felt about me ending things and how he really liked me. I tried to just be polite but not in a way that'd make me seem available to him because I didn't want him to get the wrong message, but that just made him more upset. He'd keep saying things to me that sound like cries for help, and he's at times admitted they were cries for help, but I don't have the space to help him and I don't know him well. I ended up losing my patience with him and told him to stop sending me messages about how I made him feel because I can't help him and he told me it that that interaction made him cry for three hours.

With the other guys, things have been a little different. One guy kept trying to initiate intimacy and said he wanted to move to the city I was going to move to. I'm not okay with this because I'm not interested in him and I won't be able to take care of him if he comes with me (he most likely won't be able to take care of himself as he currently is not able to but insists that he will) and to be brutally honest, I don't want to take care of him. I feel bad because he keeps talking about how people ghost him or turn him down and I've recently had to turn him down. I'm not sure if he has any plans for the future but I'm really hoping that he doesn't try to come with me when I move.

The last guy who did this was kinda pushy with kissing and tried to convince me to stay in the city where I am. He told me that he loves me and keeps giving me reasons to stay where I am, which he's admitted has been because he wants to keep talking to me. He grosses me out a bit because he's 24 but has said he'd date as young as was legally possible and he's tried to kiss me without asking. When I told him that i didn't want to date him, didn't love him and doubted that he actually loves me, he asked me what would make me love someone and what my turn ons are. He said that I'd be cruel if I didn't help him become a better person than who he is.

Most of the guys have said that they're not angry at me and that they're not my problem, but they still come to me with their problems and I feel extremely guilty for turning them down since they're all in precarious situations. Ik that I'm also in a precarious situation and that i have no responsibility towards them, but I don't know how to turn away their requests for help without making them feel really bad. I especially feel bad since I tend to lash out at them when I'm having very bad days and will say things like they're putting too much weight on me, tell them that they're stupid or gross or make me uncomplicated, tell them that I don't trust them. How have you rejected men who were vulnerable and am I being a dick for rejecting them/refusing to help them or let them help me? To be entirely honest, I don't think I'd want to help them if I had the space to.

I have been dating this guy. I am 37f, he is 29m, for a few months. I broke it off previously because he did not want to commit. We reconnected about three weeks ago, and a couple of days ago, he asked me to be his girlfriend. I confirmed that that was what he wanted because he didn’t want to do that in the past. I noticed that after we had sex, which was only twice, he became very detached afterwards. During the time that we were cuddling, he would intentionally pull the covers in front of my face so that I could not see the television. I told him I did not like this, and I asked him to stop. In addition, he held my head down. If you can imagine holding somebody’s head while cuddling, he would hold it down so when I try to get up. He would basically hold my head down. I told him to stop. He made a comment in the past saying, your days are numbered, and watch your back. Which I took as a red flag, but kind of brushed it off because he is military and I figured maybe this is how he talks to his friends or something. Silly, I know. He did this stuff, the telling me your days are numbered etc. before we were in a relationship.

What concerns me the most is that I brought up how these things that he does bother me and I asked him to stop. I also told him if he truly cares about me, he would not be doing things to provoke a reaction. Low and behold, the following day he does this Again!! he would sometimes drive recklessly while I was in the passenger seat. I had a conversation with him about this a couple of times and then just recently he started doing it again.

Then today, he sends me a breakup text message basically saying that he feels we are in two different maturity levels. I think he is saying this because I had told him his behavior is immature. I don’t know, I feel like somebody that truly cares about you would not be trying to provoke you or get a reaction out of you. I’m just wondering , other people‘s thoughts. I would like to get some insight thanks. Was he abusive? What was going on here?

I (33, F) was on the pill for the majority of my adult life after being put on it at 13 for acne. When I turned 30 I decided I wanted to try letting my cycles be “natural”, and especially since being on spironolactone meaning my teenage acne that turned into adult acne was under control. The past year or so for the day or two before my period I get reasonably snappy and sometimes down - but IMO not dramatically so. However it’s started causing a lot of arguments with my partner and I. I have tried explaining it to him and he’s usually reasonably understanding but he seems to just not get how its very difficult to control how you feel during that time of the month! I’ve also tried to argue that he gets allowances if he’s hungover or tired or has been very busy it work and this is a similar situation but even more so something I can’t control.

It’s also obviously not fun for me to feel this way and I’m starting to consider going back on the pill, even though I would prefer to not mess with my hormones.

Would be really great to get some other perspectives here. Thanks so much.

That’s all.

I feel like I’m so toxic that I make the people I love the most hate me. I don’t feel like I fit in anywhere. I just want to go be with my mom in Heaven. I don’t think there’s anything left for me here. If you’ve ever felt the same, and come out the other side, I’d love to hear your experiences. Please don’t send links to helplines, that’s not what I need right now.

about a month ago i went in for a pap and today my doctor called me to let me know it came back positive for hpv. i was pretty mortified right away but he didn’t seem concerned and just said to come back in a year. i understand that it’s common but it’s hard not to be concerned. for anyone curious I am 20 and ive had two paps prior to the most recent. neither of those came back positive. i’ve already kind of figured it must be my last sexual partner to give it to me because he’s the only person i have been with since my second pap which was about two years ago. as of right now i haven’t been sexually actively in about 7 or 8 months. i’m not exactly sure what to do in this situation or if i should even be worried.

Hi, I’m experiencing body image issues, mainly because I’m receiving attention from men. A little back story. In 2013 I was in a car accident suffered spinal cord damage and had to have a fusion. I gained weight and was invisible to men. I continue on with my life happily single invincible to men. In Dec 2020 I was diagnosed with a rare and aggressive form of breast cancer. Metaplastic triple negative and a metaplastic her2 pos. I went through 35 infusions, 2 surgeries. Needless to say I was not even remotely cute, I was ok with that! I mean I was fighting for my life. After treatment I ended losing a lot of weight. I went from 178lbs to 108lbs.

I’m constantly getting attention from men, to the point it kinda scares me. I’ve been told by my honest and true friends that my recovery is astounding and my transformation is unbelievable. The thing is! I still view myself as an obese, fat face, sick person.

I decided to give this one man a chance and started talking to him. We were getting close, didn’t sleep together but it was headed that way. I told him about what I’ve been through and that my mind and emotions hasn’t caught up to my new look. He get annoyed with me, said he doesn’t get why pretty women are so messed up in the head.

I felt horrible! I mean I shared something personal with someone who physical intimacy was a strong possibility. I really felt dismissed and my feelings weren’t important. To add insult to injury while I’m being open and vulnerable he insults me. Needless to say, I ghosted his ass. I really think after that, I will probably never consider dating. I’d like to see how men would feel if their dicks and balls were cut off. I’m convinced a lot of men lack basic empathy and truly see women as appliances. No wonder the birth rates are dropping.

I know human lose about 100 strands of hair a day. I don't even notice/mind when I see hair strands around my room. After talking to some coworkers, they saw red hair strands on the bathroom floor. It was obviously mine. It was no big deal and I clean up any hair I see now.

However, my boyfriend commented how he found my hair in his food. Food I didn't prepare nor was I around his dishes. We did run into an issue before where my hair got in his bathroom sink and left red spots. He does talk about how he finds my hair around his room and on his clothes. I joke that I'm marking my territory while he compared me to a cat.

I still feel bad. I can't think of any solution besides wearing a hairnet...

What are decent dating apps these days? I just got out of a really unhealthy relationship that should have ended many months ago and while I recognize I’m not quite ready to dive into a new relationship, I am ready to think about what’s out there (ISO men or women— though honestly right now a dude had REALLY better be worth my time).

Feeld seems to have gone dramatically downhill this year. Is Hinge any good? I haven’t used dating apps in a very, very long time except for Feeld (and possibly Tinder?) more than a year ago.

Whether it has to do with feminism, race, class, or the intersectionality of all three, etc. what do you believe many other women aren't ready to talk about, but is an important conversation nonetheless?

TLDR: My 31M boyfriend never initiates or seems to want sex or be physically attracted to me (37F) but I want it all the time. Is it worth ending what is otherwise a good relationship over this?

My boyfriend of one year doesn’t have sex with me. When we started dating we had loads of sex and it was great. I (37F) have historically not enjoyed sex much and past me would probably have been kind of okay with this. Present sexual-peak me is ravenous and, when my partner and I were having sex, it was REALLY good and I was so happy.

Now, I’m devastated that for the first time in my life, I’m with someone who seems to want it not at all when I’m finally very very onboard with it. I also worry I’m wasting peak years (I still have a banging body) on someone who doesn’t appreciate it. I don’t even get bum touches or hip grabs. Just no physicality other than cuddling in front of the television.

What’s more, when we started dating he told me that “sex was very important to [him]” and I feel deceived. Worth noting that he is 31, which makes me think that if he only wants it rarely now, he’s never going to want it in a few years.

I’ve tried addressing it directly a few times but he kind of positions it as ‘well sex isn’t everything in a relationship’ and kind of makes me feel like I’m shallow for wanting it as much as I do. He suggests that I could come onto him more but when I do it kind of feels like he’s doing me a favour by having it and that’s just… not attractive. It doesn’t make me feel good or make me want to keep initiating.

I’ve asked him why he’s not attracted to me anymore but he INSISTS he is but it feels like his words are saying one thing and his actions another.

I don’t know - in every other respect we have a really nice relationship (not perfect, but we work on things, we learn about each other and we’re committed), which makes me feel like maybe I’m being… ungrateful, or that it’s unfair that I’m dissatisfied, but I feel this quiet but fierce resentment growing and I don’t know what to do.

Any insight, advice, similar experiences? I feel so bad.

Guys what do you do if you’re walking on the way to personal training and you get hit with cramps ?? Bear the pain and get through it or crawl into fetal position?

Curious to know how others manage this. Long story short I've been with my now husband about 5 years, married one, expecting a baby next year. We're both in our mid 30s. I have a career with an income that feels solidly middle class. My husband has a very highly skilled job and makes somewhere between 5-6 times what I do in a year.

We partially share finances and pay for almost everything on a shared credit card that gets paid off out of a shared account. Typically this account is reflective of our income (I pay for about 1/5th of our expenses and we DO NOT live a lavish lifestyle at all, so that's totally doable for me). I don't have any issues with how we're managing things, I think we both try to be understanding and fair... but I feel like I often have background anxiety around feeling like I'm not participating/contributing enough. And my husband often seems to have concerns about our spending even though we live well within our means, and we're consistently saving money every month and putting a way beyond average into retirement. It feels like his anxiety around it is sometimes related to it feeling like "his money" vs. "My spending" because I'm not contributing as much financially.

I'm also thinking about how much time I want to spend away from work when I have a baby. I enjoy my job, I work for myself, and I have flexible scheduling so I could take an extended time away and still have a pretty immediate income starting back up when I choose to, as long as I keep up all my licenses and certifications. Taking a year off from work is appealing but I'm uncomfortable being entirely financially dependent even for a short time...

In any case, I am very aware this is an extremely privileged problem to have, and I think my husband tries to be a fair as possible. But I'm pretty consistently stressed out by the discrepancy in our income, so I'd love to hear how other families have handled it

Can anyone who wears the 9" boxers from Woxer and/or Tomboyx please let me know if it has a gusset? I can't tell from the product images.

It's really difficult to find long boxers for women that have a decent sized gusset. Discharge holes are real!

Edit: I'm looking at XL sizes.

[ Removed by Reddit on account of violating the content policy. ]

I just watched 'House of Dragons' even though everyone praises it, it seemed shockingly more sexist than Game of Thrones.

I'd go so far to say that it almost doesn't pass the Bechdel Test given that a majority of the female driven plot is women fighting over their male sons, husbands, and fathers. Anytime a woman is about to do something important, they go into labor.

It's so much more focused on pregnancy and royalty than Game of Thrones.

Seriously 90% of it is women with huge bellies in dresses or graphic birth scenes. Almost like a breeder fantasy, every female character is constantly pregnant.

It just seems to me that the original had so many amazing charactera: Sansa, Arya, Caitlin , Cersei, Daenerys, Margaery, Ygritte, Melisandre, Olenna, Missandei, etc.

They were strong on their own. Many of them could weild swords or do magic or showed high competence.

I was hoping the two daughters, Baela and Rhaena Targaryen, would have a cool arc, but they are totally washed over and forgotten.

Allison Hightower is so male focused, it's hard to her as strong. Rhaenyra Targaryen is constantly just meh.

Any thoughts?

Edit: Aparently this has hit a nerve with die hard fans. I apologize.

Just trying to have a discussion- yikes.

I can see that maybe the graphic scenes are just not for me, but that many people enjoy this show. Thanks for the discussion.

Cause I've seen men on reddit proclaim that women don't ACTUALLY want pockets because "they made pants for women with pockets but nobody bought them because they really still just want their sexy tight pants". I've seen this declaration at least four times.

So I'm here to ask, where are these mysical women's pants with adequate storage? Has anyone actually found them?

If you have, please share so I can buy some. Cause I literally wear men's pants sometimes due to this issue. My favorite pair of shorts with relatively generous pockets in the front now has a hole in the pocket where the corner of my phone presses on the fabric when I sit or bend my legs. It was my only pair of women's shorts that fit my phone completely inside the front pocket. If they had just been 2-3 inches longer they would have been perfect.

I will buy these pants if they exist.

So I had my second ever pap smear today, though I don't really remember the first, I think I would've remembered if it hurt this much? I'm a virgin which probably doesn't help, but I have used menstrual cups in the past, though not for like 2 years.

Anyway, the nurse used the standard size speculum at first, and the pain was so bad I nearly kicked the poor nurse reflexively, I just wanted to get away from it. She moved to the smallest size and whilst better, it still felt like someone had stuck a knife up there. We repositioned and tried again, but it barely any better, so I just shut my mouth to get it over with, but had it taken any longer I probably would've screamed.

I didn't think I was particularly tense, because like I said I barely remember the first one so I assumed I had no problems. And I have a pretty high pain tolerance too, but I was almost in tears by the end of it. I just can't believe that this is normal.

I have had a non-stop period since February 2023 (approx. 23 months). I live in rural Ontario where many people, including myself, do not have a family doctor to take care of me + make referrals to specialists.

I have been using the virtual care clinic, which is the only option offered to those without a family doctor, and all the doctor keeps doing is sending me for bloodwork + trans vaginal ultrasounds once every month.

Initially the virtual care doctor told me i had a “textbook case of PCOS” due to velvety patches in my armpits, extreme body hair that i’ve had since a prepubescent girl, my very tall height, and my period issues. He said all of these symptoms were common to PCOS.

Prior to this never-ending period i was extremely irregular … but more towards the end of the spectrum where i wouldn’t get my period for weeks / months at a time.

But now my virtual care doctor has been getting annoyed our last few phone calls because my blood tests apparently show “normal levels of estrogen” and so he no longer thinks it’s PCOS. He is now convinced it’s Endometriosis even though I have no common symptoms from that condition. I have literally never had period pain or cramps in my entire life. He has no action plan either on how you get the bleeding to stop.

He has gone into tunnel vision mode, he now has me going to get a trans vaginal ultrasound once every month. It is so uncomfortable to do the ultrasound, even when the techs are amazing, because I am always bleeding heavily (with massive blood clots too).

At this point i just want the whole reproductive system taken right the fuck out. When I brought this up to him at our last phone call he said I was too young (I’m 29) and that no doctor would allow it.

My quality of life is non-existent. I am unable to leave the house for more than 2-3 hours at a time (even with a tampon + overnight pad + period underwear). I am tired all the time, and sometimes even pass out. The only thing he has actually suggested to lessen the symptoms is taking Iron vitamins. I was already taking them.

Looking for any advice whatsoever on how to get my reproductive system removed. At this point I don’t even want my period to balance out - I have seriously bled enough over the last 2 years to make up for a lifetime. I will do anything I can to get it taken out.

Does anyone have any advice on dealing with this? I cannot afford private health care and I cannot just simply get another doctor. The virtual care clinic is my only option, and they don’t let you swap doctors. How do i put this into terms he will take seriously?

So labour won an election with a historically low voter turnout, but it was the rise of Farage’s far right reform party which was more notable to me and extremely concerning, given how close Nigel Farage is to the American far right, he’s apparently good friends with Trump. Just recently Musk has promised to make sure that the reform party wins the next election, partly by giving them $100million which would actually be legal as things stand. Farage has been open about his support for Andrew Tate, he’s calling for a debate on rolling back the abortion limit which’s 24 weeks here, and he has just met with extremist anti abortion group the ADF. Many have argued that abortion access will never be under threat in the UK because religion doesn’t have a strong enough influence over here, I personally think that the racist misogynists who support reform and the conservatives will quite happily throw away women’s rights at the drop of a hat, even if they don’t really have a strong opinion on abortion. I think the uk Conservative Party is now far right, with their language mirroring the US republicans in a rather concerning way. The new conservative leader has said she’s against paid maternity leave in the past and she’s just a generally horrid person, with regards to her stated political views on pretty much everything. The uk far right, newly emboldened by the victory of Trump is a major threat in the uk, and I’m afraid that nowhere near enough is being done to counter them.

https://bylinetimes.com/2024/11/29/nigel-farage-teams-up-with-extreme-anti-abortion-group-and-calls-for-debate-on-restricting-abortion-rights-in-uk/

Weird title, but hear me out. In most stories featuring strong female characters, their femaleness is still one of their defining characteristics. Their competence is called into question because of their gender, romance is often a key part of their story, and if not, an emphasis is placed on them not needing a man. Their very existence and their role as the main character is seen as subversive, and often they’re made to be not as physically strong as their male peers, making up for it with their intelligence/strong will. What we really need is more stories with female characters whose gender could be swapped and absolutely nothing would change. We need more stories where female characters are treated normally, any adversary they face is due to factors other than their gender, where romantic interactions with male characters are either nonexistent or a complete afterthought. Yes, they’re strong, independent, and they don’t need protection, but that goes without saying. Sort of like what a lot of video and tabletop games do, where nothing about the story or dialogue changes, with characters’ abilities being entirely determined by factors other than gender. In other words, more stories should treat their female characters the same way that men are treated in media- as the default.

I have a question I need some perspective on before I bring it up with my husband. I just got a new job 2 hours away from our old home. The job started in August. It's in my field, but it's just a stepping stone type job and doesn't pay great (though some of the benefits are fantastic). Hubby hasn't yet quit his job in old Town, so we got a (fairly expensive) apartment that's halfway between. We are still in the process of cleaning out the house in old Town to sell. I will have my masters degree in my field this spring, but will not get a pay raise until I get a new job/position. Which may or may not require moving again....

The connundrum: we just found out after a year and a half of fertility treatments that I'm pregnant.

I would barely make enough to cover child care and at this point would almost rather be a SAHM.

I want to talk to my husband about not selling our house and moving back to old Town instead. Our mortgage is currently a third of what we're paying for rent and we would likely be able to afford one income for a few years in that house. We would also be 5 min from some family and most of our friends are within 30 min of old house.

Selling the house and moving to a new city with a newborn and still trying to work a full time job worries me a lot.

Does anyone have any advice or points I'm not considering?

I know one issue would be trying to get back into my field after a few years break, but there might be one off classes or other certifications I could look at to keep up some.

The US ranks 122 our of 186 in maternal mortality in the world. The worst in the high-income world. (Citation)

This partially because the leading cause of death of US pregnant people is murder (by their partners, usually using a gun). (Citation.)

It's also just because we have terrible and very expensive health care. (Citation.)

On average, 3 to 4 women are murdered each day in the US by their partners. (Citation.)

All of this is much worse for women of color. (Do you really need a citation for that?)

Does any of that gets 1/10th the coverage of this shooting? What about the billionaire on the Titanic submarine? Or the billionaire on the yacht off Sicily?

Pay attention to what gets paid attention to.