My husband asked me what I wanted for Valentine’s Day at the beginning of the month. It hasn’t been a very good past couple of months (as we all know). Celebrating anything is the last thing on my mind. So I kept it simple and I asked for flowers. A nice bouquet.

I assumed he would pick some up on the 14th at a supermarket or one of the greenhouses nearby. I would have been very happy.

I checked the bank account and this guy has ordered almost $400 at a florist for me. I’m already giddy at the thought of what I’m getting.

But I should not be surprised. This is the same man that had a bouquet of flowers sent to me every other week, with a vase and everything. I’m so grateful for him. He is my safety.

I (21f) had two great dates with (20m). Yesterday we were hanging out in my dorm from like 6-9. His mom called him and he asked if he could answer. I told him sure because it’s his mom. His mom started yelling about how he wasn’t answering his text messages and that he’s been out all day and he needs to go home. I mouth that “he should go” and he quickly got his belongings, told me text him , and left LOL. I don’t know if I’m overthinking but now I’m getting worried if he’s parents are like strict…..And if that’s the case that might be a dealbreaker because I want an adult relationship where I don’t feel like I’m dating as a teen? Am I overthinking things ?

I have a 32 inch underbust and a 36-37 inch overbust. So that’s a 5-6 inch difference between band and bust, about a 32 DDD US size, using a proper bra calculator that doesn’t subtract the band size from the bust measurement. When buying a bra I start at 32DD and go from there.

Of course, I learned about this over at r/abrathatfits.

But I’m 45. I’m just learning about this the last year or so. My entire life I’ve been cramming my boobs into tiny ass cups and wondering why shit was always so wonky and uncomfortable.

Why?? Why do bra manufacturers do this? How many women are and have been wearing ill fitting bras their entire lives because of these companies. It just frustrates me.

For shits and giggles I put measurements in to several popular bra companies’ calculators.

32/37 inches are what I used for my measurements.

Pepper: 36b

Understance: 32 D

ABTF calculator: 32DD

Victoria’s Secret: 32 DD

Skims: 36 A

Third love: 32B 1/2

Honey Love: 36B

Aerie: 36B

Shout to VS for actually not being terribly off. I was fitted by them years about and given a size of 36B, so I wonder if they’ve changed their conventions.

Old man held the door for me this morning walking into my local donut shop.. then walked up next me to tell me "chivalry is dead, and you know who's to blame? YOUNG WOMEN"

Sir.. it's a good thing I was not awake enough to reply, because I have so much anger this week about [gestures wildly] that he was dangerously close to learning about how many things men have fucking ruined.

Chivalry isn't "dead". Misogyny sure isn't. The fight for equal pay isn't. The invisible mental load isn't. The fight to have control over our own goddamn bodies isn't. Fear of walking home alone/having a drink in a bar without getting drugged/parking lots after dark/first dates/people knocking on our doors unexpectedly/turning someone down sure as hell isn't.

Edit: "mental loaf" lol

Edit 2: So, I guess I didn't specify, but I DID give a very gracious "thank you" in response to him opening the door. And omg thank you for the award! ❤️

hi everyone!! i've been on birth control for abt 2 years now and ive taken it at 10 pm every night. i take the mini pill but have 2 questions:

1. can i change the time i take it? i dont know if 10 pm will work for me when my life schedule changes!!
2. what time does everyone else take theirs?
3. thank you!!

What does “run like a girl” mean to me?

Run for your life.

I posted this elsewhere too (I hope that's allowed) but I wanted to have the opinion of women who might have dealt with something similar.

I'm a 30 year old transgender man and I have an issue at work. I work in a small team and there is a male colleague in his 50s who seems to be quite fond of working with me. It was okay at first, we got along and had nice conversations.

But he is the kind of person that is quite touchy and I am not. I don't like to be touched, not even by my friends. He is quite a theatrical and overly present person and often touches your shoulder or grabs both shoulders (if you're sitting down) to give a little squeeze. Or when you're having a conversation and you're zoning out, he redirects your attention by poking your shoulder or something like that.

I've probably not been clear enough gesturing I don't want this, and pushing his hand away or tensing up (assuming he'd read my body language).

The issue is that he's also come up behind me and (absentmindedly?) put both his hands between my arms and rested them on my waist. He seemed to "correct" his mistake quickly and pulled his hands away. I almost felt like he was gonna lean his head/chin on my head or shoulder too.

Another day he was on a phone call and needed to ask me something and he also stuck out his arm and came up to me sideways and laid his arm around my waist/belly again. I felt paralyzed and stepped away and ignored him.

Another time we had to work behind a computer together and we each sat in our own deskchair. He slapped my knee/upper leg once. And then remarked how soft it felt (or that it was jiggly or something I don't remember exactly) and put his hand on my upper leg again, this time longer. I said: "it's not soft" and I wheeled my chair away a bit further. But he always does all of these things in a "joking" matter.

I feel highly uncomfortable. And unfortunately I'm an introverted person who is not very vocal in standing up for myself or confronting people. I find myself tensing up and flinching, expecting to be touched, even on days when he is not at work. I feel kind of gross and icky and unclean in my own body, but I feel like such feelings are only reserved for victims of serious sexual abuse. Which causes me to feel guilty again "because he probably doesn't mean it like that"

I'm wondering whether I'm imagining it all to be worse than it is? Is this innapropriate touching? Am I overreacting? I would love some insight on how to handle this.

(As a transgender man (passing. Nobody knows at work) somebody touching me near my waist/legs etc makes me feel dysphoric because those are the "soft" "feminine" parts of my body that I often have trouble with already. Not to mention that this straight(?) man is touching me and that makes me feel afraid I look "too feminine" and causes lots of self-doubt)

Okay last summer I went on a hinge date with a guy. Felt insecure as I was a lot heavier (I’m overweight) than him. He rarely talked but kept saying he liked my body type when he asked about my type and I asked him back.

Also, he reveals he’s talking to six girls rn including me, shows me them and judge them oml.

“This girl is too tall, this girl is boring, this girl is a catfish…”

At the end of our date I fizzled out but he couldn’t tell, tried to kiss me but I lightly slapped his cheek in a joking way bc I didn’t want to get hurt in the dark st in a city I don’t know.

Finally ended the date and got home. Afterwards, like late at night he sends (I wish I have it)

“Hey Op! I really enjoyed our date. Out of the six girls you are most my type. I want to talk more about….and hope you know I will stop talking to the other five and only text you!”

It was so egoist and fucking on a high horse.

Told him I didn’t really see him romantically and he got very upset, called me fat. I didn’t care, his personality was way uglier than any of us 6 girls.

Usually, during the first two or three days of my period, I involuntarily wake up in the middle of the night once or twice to check my pad—kind of out of anxiety (afraid of leaking and staining my bed), even though most of the time, one night isn’t enough to completely fill the pad. Does anyone else have this crazy habit?

And why do some people do not find this scary? It’s unbelievable to me that a majority of voters wanted this. This will all cause so much suffering, especially among the lower classes.

As Europeans, we are basically screwed as well for different reasons. Our alliance to the US made us strong and vice versa. Now it’s supposed to be US versus Europe (and the rest of the world)? We all need partners, even a strong nation like the USA. Gosh, we had it so made. The West was pretty much unattackable, no there will be division which was the only way to make us weak.

What makes me ultimately sad about this is how only the rich will benefit from all of this, there are almost no countries left in which the general public is doing ok. The masses remain poor, are forced to bear a bunch of children as future workers and the oligarchs benefit. Why are so many people so heartless and cruel? Why is the human condition like that?

But having not had a cycle for years because of being on the depot I have to say I had forgotten how awful cramps are. Not loving life now that the initial meds I took wore off. Ouch!

I know there are quite a few other posts on this but I really need to vent. Have been in really bad pain for last couple days. I'm 29M (trans man) and have gotten these since my late teens but rarely are they this bad. Been having hot baths a few times a day for some temporary pain relief, plus finally got epsom salts last night, hoping they will help it drain, but no such luck yet.

I considered going to A&E last night when my sister came round to drop off pain meds and an antibiotic cream since I don't drive myself but the thought of waiting possibly several hours, and then all the horror stories I've read about getting it drained really put me off. Plus I've been able to manage on my own several times before but this one is just...so painful.

Usually I am able to actually squeeze it and pop it myself which always gives immediate relief and it feels like it definitely could pop at any moment but it's way too sore to squeeze quite hard enough.

I just feel so miserable. Been essentially bedridden for the last few days. Finally had a good cry yesterday. Not religious but I am PRAYING it goes away on its own soon enough.

We work together as well and it is a very busy time. But it still hurts. He has never been big in the thoughtful gift department but it’s reached new levels. And if i mention that it hurts me he tells me I’m superficial. I’m not sure how to feel. How would you feel?

I’ve never really celebrated Valentine’s Day romantically this will be my first year🥰

What is it with these people being so judgy when someone posts boudoir photoshoot images 😂

Yes I have a fiancee. No, he doesn't give a fuck I'm posting this shit online. He'd take pictures of me if I wanted to try OF. Yes I also have a job, two actually. No, neither give a fuck what I'm doing online because it's after hours.

Just let a girl post ✨️spicy✨️ photos because she feels good about herself. Gawddamn!

I had an experience recently that got me thinking deeply about how rape culture is perpetuated—not just by those who commit sexual violence but by people who dismiss, trivialize, or deflect conversations about it.

Here's what happened: I (F) opened up to a former "friend" (M) about my experience with sexual coercion. Instead of offering empathy, his response was, "What's new in this? What can one expect from Indian men?"

He brushed it off like it was no big deal, as if sexual assault is just a part of life we should accept. (Mind you, before this too, his response to a sexual coercion experience of mine indicated he himself might be unclear about consent.)

It made me feel like my experience didn’t matter, and it highlighted how normalized violence against women has become in this society.

His casual indifference reflected a deeper issue: the way rape culture is upheld by people who excuse or minimize harm rather than addressing it. When I brought this up and told him how his response was (not the first time he had a response like this), he didn’t reflect on what he said. Instead, he deflected by saying, "But you’ve also been rude to me." This kind of whataboutery was infuriating.

Not only did it shift the focus away from the issue I was raising, but it also made it clear that he wasn’t willing to take responsibility for his dismissive attitude.

This is the problem. Rape culture isn’t just about the perpetrators of violence—it’s about the people who enable it with their indifference, their lack of empathy, and their refusal to engage with the realities of consent and accountability.

By brushing off assault as “something that happens,” by deflecting blame when called out, and by possibly overlooking the importance of clear consent in their own actions, people like him contribute to an environment where survivors feel silenced and predators face little resistance.

His deflection—turning the conversation into a grievance about my behavior—felt like another layer of invalidation. It showed me that he wasn’t even interested in trying to understand the impact of his words or actions. Instead, he made it about himself, completely missing the point of the conversation. I’ve since cut contact with him because I realized I can’t keep engaging with someone who doesn’t understand the problem.

I have had other experiences where people—men, in particular—asked me questions that further invalidated my trauma. For instance, some have casually asked, Did you go to the police? as if reporting an assault is a simple, straightforward process that guarantees justice. Others have asked, Why didn’t you fight back?—completely ignorant of how the body’s natural response to trauma often includes freezing.

These questions, while seemingly innocent to the asker, are rooted in rape culture. They shift blame onto the survivor, subtly suggesting that the burden of preventing or stopping assault lies with the victim rather than the perpetrator.

It’s made me think about how common these attitudes are. How many survivors have had their experiences dismissed in similar ways?

If we can’t even hold basic conversations about empathy and accountability, how can we expect to make any progress? Have you encountered similar attitudes? How do you deal with people who perpetuate these harmful ideas, knowingly or unknowingly?

I have pcos, but almost regular, no meds, and NEVER experienced period pain in my life. I just go on my day, bleed and after couple of days it’s gone. I keep hearing how women experience chronic pain and other symptoms getting sick, nauseous, vomiting, mood swings, cravings etc, and i have none of those symptoms. I dont think i experience mood swings or cravings at all. Heck, i do feel abnormal i do not experience any of these symptoms sometimes..

Im not invalidating women’s experience, it’s just that how are these experiences so common and normal, i feel like doctors and society as a whole arent taking it seriously and consider all these symptoms normal…

Also, what other Reddit communities might be useful for support?

I’m just annoyed and wanted to vent about it. Can we get female announcers if these men can’t stop talking about themselves for just one fight?? (This was a fight from last year that I was watching, not a new one)

There are a lot of criticisms leveled against the Bechdel test (for anyone unaware, a movie passes as long as it has 2 women who talk to each other about something besides a man, sometimes people add additional qualifiers like that they have to be named, or talk for at least a minute). Some of them are more justified than others, but I have some thoughts on minor modifications that can... essentially negate most of the reasonable ones.

First, I think it's reasonable to distinguish between a technical fail and a real fail. One of the easiest ways to do that is to see if the movie also fails the reverse test -- do 2 men talk to each other about something besides a woman. If not, then the Bechdel fail is probably because of technical reasons, like "there are only two characters with speaking parts" or "this movie has almost no dialogue".

Second, specifically for action movies with little dialogue, it may be reasonable to treat a fight sequence as equivalent to dialogue. If two women are fighting each other, and the reason they are fighting is not because of a man, that could be considered a pass.

And since the test is a better measure of the overall media landscape than it is of any individual movie, and it is reasonable to ask if some movies fail just because they happen to be about specific venues (eg monasteries) with few to no women, which is a perfectly valid thing to make a movie about, I think we should look at ratios.

In a truly gender blind media landscape, you would expect Bechdel and reverse Bechdel to have similar failure rates. Eg for every movie about coal miners, or monks, there's a movie about midwives, or women's sports. Romance movies where everyone is always talking about the heterosexual lead couple would be double fails. And so on.

What does everyone else think?

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2025/jan/29/abortion-pills-instagram-shadow-banning

🙃 We knew Zuckerberg was a misogynist, given the moderation choices on FB - now he’s really committed to turning the US into Gilead. Who has stopped using or deleted their Meta accounts/apps?

Last night my boyfriend m. (26) told me f (30) that his mom called him to confess that she had read my personal journal. When he first told me I was shucked. I haven’t written nothing crazy about anybody other than myself but I’ve gone through some serious trauma in my life and this was my cathartic notebook to vent about life and the state of the world. I wrote in hysterically anxious states of mind, highly private content.

His mom and I don’t have the best relationship because she is the possessive-bully type and I have chosen to be avoidant. So I ran away (literally) whenever she stars with her bully behavior. I can’t stand it and I exit the room. I feel this has probably damage our relationship more but it has also probably avoided unnecessary drama.

In the past she’s made comments about my weight and in family meetings she often notices how much I eat. When I’ve been in her son’s house she’s asked me to clean it even though I don’t live there and I’m rarely present. She’s also told my boyfriend that I work too much and has tried to stir problems between us with no success, thanks to him. She claims to be very spiritually oriented and feminist. In praxis tho… it seems that I’m her test. I’m also not an American citizen I migrated here 10 years ago. I was married and my husband passed away 5 years ago. What a life I’ve lived and survived and kept a compassionate heart intact after all. It brakes me that she’s not able to see me with respect. If it was simple curiosity, why wouldn’t she care to speak to me in real life and ask me questions and sit with me.

I feel she did the reading of my journal to damage me. To find something incriminatory, an actual reason to dislike me. But she found nothing. She told my boyfriend she empathized with me more after reading it. My boyfriend in disbelief told me that he felt really disappointed and he told her she should tell me about it. She asked him not to tell me and also to keep it hidden from me. Now a part of me wants to completely distance myself from her and another wants to confront her. As a seasoned Aries Sun, Aries Mercury, I’m cautious about the second option because I really don’t want to bigger the conflict with this woman (who’s the mother of the man I love) But I just don’t seem to find the way to confront this in a healthy way. Any suggestions on healthy approach?

I found this while doing unrelated research and want to share for those who are or know someone it can benefit. It’s a few months old so it may not be entirely accurate anymore but it should give a rough idea of how a state is.

https://www.safehome.org/data-lgbtq-state-safety-rankings/

I've had my tampon in for about 6 hours, I put it in before I went to work, but I can't get it out. I'm not kidding when I say it burns, it burns so badly to the point I'm nearly in tears. It's caught on the edges of my vagina, and it won't come out. Whenever I tug it burns so much, I physically can't get it out. This is only the second time I've worn one, and I genuinely don't know what to do. Its late at night so I can't leave it longer because I have work in the morning, but it burns too much to even sleep. I don't know what I can do

Edit: I got it out! Forgot to update as I went right to bed, but I essentially just pushed it out enough that the tip was out like I was giving birth. Wouldn't reccomend, that was extremely painful. But I ended up soaking it in water and using lube to edge it out after that mostly pain free, so thanks for the advice! It turns out, despite all of it being soaked in blood, one patch had remained dry and just wouldn't come out

This is what I just heard on a call. A large company is concerned they will be seen as too gender inclusive. This has been highlighted as a risk by their legal team.

I'm heart broken.

With the recent news on the way the US is going, and tech oligarchs digging their claws into the White House, I am genuinely worried that the government will start coming after people based on their social media, searches and browser history, online purchase history, GPT conversations, etc.

Buying Plan B or Plan C over the internet, period trackers, posting comments on Reddit, following certain accounts, volunteering or donating, location history if you happen to be near where a protest happened...

The same way cops use it to solve crimes, or lawyers subpoena it to get access to records for court... At this point, we all know privacy is a myth. Even if we think it's is anonymous, your digit footprint is traceable. If the government decides to get a list of people based on XYZ internet activity who they deem "unpatriotic" or "criminals"... do we even have a way to safeguard against it?