This isn't a man-hating post. I am a 39yo active, successful, financially stable woman with no children, no debt, a home, a great career, highly educated, and really wanting to find love.

I know I have so much love to give. I know I don't NEED a man. I know I should feel good on my own. But it is lonely and having someone to talk to and cuddle with and be intimate with and share details of your day with and build a life with sounds so....lovely. To be unconditionally loved and accepted by someone.

Why is it so hard to find this? I can find a boyfriend with no problem, but it is so difficult to find a responsible, financially stable man with friends and hobbies who is emotionally available and who wants to give love and respect to the woman he chooses.

Why is this so hard? After yet another breakup, my heart is so broken and I am just sad and lonely and I don't know if this is what I can expect forever.

Hi! So as the title said I've been having a hell of a time. My periods have always been super uncomfortable. Heavy and long (they used to be 10 twice a month) and I vet every symptom known to man too. They've been like this since I first got them when I was ten. When I was 16 I started birth control. I did that for like 4 years and it was awful I would try a new one and in like 6 months it won't do anything or make me go mental. The latest birth control I tried was the depo shot. I took 2 and then I got my period for six months. I'm still on it actually. My doctors have refused a hysterectomy saying I'm too young and all but is there anything else?? I don't want to try other birth control things I'm scared and IUD would just do the same thing and I'm desperate to get my period to stop

I am having a hard time this holiday season not being extremely jealous of other women who are getting to celebrate the season with their kids. I took a path in life focusing on my career, and now I regret it. I feel jealous when I see mothers in public. I feel awful about it. My husband wants to wait to have kids, and I know when he says wait, it won't happen. Any support is appreciated.

I’m in my early twenties and I’ve had the realisation that I’ve been the one to end every single date / talking stage / relationship I’ve been in. It’s never been initiated by the other party, and in retrospect about 60-70% of the cases nothing really bad or nothing bad at all had happened yet that couldn’t have been resolved through communication. A lot of times I had cut something off abruptly when it was good.

It’s like I want to be in a relationship and there have been people I knew I was falling in love with but I always run away. I’m scared of long term commitment and marriage and dating someone not from my perspective but from the other persons perspective, that they’ll fall out of love with me, that they’ll get bored or cheat or lie to me. I scroll on reels and find all these people analysing relationships and giving traumatic stories. If he doesn’t tell you he loves you in 3 months he doesn’t care. If he doesn’t propose within this time frame he’s using you” etc etc. As an example recently I saw a reel about how if a guy doesn’t find you attractive / stops liking you he starts lasting longer in bed and if at present I was in a relationship that would make me spiral into overthinking every sexual experience with my partner and every time we’d have sex if I felt like he was taking too long to come I’d start to feel like shit and, I don’t know. I don’t know how to fix this? I’m not looking to get into any relationships at the moment cause it’s not fair on the other person but I just don’t know how to make this better for myself. I feel like I need to be physically and mentally perfect and when I’m not the person will realise I’m ugly and unwell and leave me so I leave before they can? I like someone and I purposefully find some flaws in them and store them away in my head to save for later so that in case they hurt me I can use that to make it hurt less. I don’t know it’s like I’m playing all these mind games with myself. I don’t know what’s wrong with me?

So I've been a long time lurker on reddit in general but these past few days a story has circulated in Germany that definitely belongs on this sub. It shows how deeply misogyny is still rooted in some traditions until this day. (I apologise for any mistakes, I'm not a native speaker)

What happened? A few days ago the North German public prodcaster ndr and channel strg_f that belongs to German State media published research on a local tradition on the 5000 inhabitant island of Borkum. While small the Northern German islands are highly touristic. I don't think I know anyone who has never been to one of them before.

https://youtu.be/qYmUBjgEPXU?feature=shared

The fest of Klaasohm is celebrated yearly on December fifth. To break it down: it basically involves men who are members of a regional club dressing up in costumes of the Klaasohm and another creature. The people walk through the streets. There's also ritualistic "wrestling like" fights. The problematic aspect is that after the Klaasohms hunt the women of the island through the streets and then beat them up with cow horns. Yes, you read that right. The documentary states that the beatings are so bad, that some women aren't able to sit for days. Some of the women like the thrill of the tradition and don't mind it, but there's no difference between women willing to participate and those who are unwilling. There are reports of women being held by bystanders, as they receive the beating. The festivities have their origins in the time the sailors returned from whaling. While the men were at sea, the women ran the island. And the beatings are to take back control from them.

All through the documentary the reporters struggle to find interview partners. Island natives don't want to talk to outsiders about the fest, the major, the police and the equal opportunities officer refuse to give statements. Those who are willing to be interviewed stay anonymous. The little footage of the fest itself, that is available is mostly being filmed in secret.

It is important to note that the beatings are obviously not only illegal but they a) are carried out by a group and b) are done with a weapon, that means that by German law the police has to persecute them even without a criminal report. This has never happened.

The documentary went somewhat viral. And already had consequences. Several natives or former natives of the island have posted their experiences on social media. Apparently there's also a childrens version of the fest a few days earlier. Little boys hunt little girls(!) and beat them up. A woman on instagram reported that one girl from town was pulled from her bike to be beaten.

The island issued a statement that after several cancellations for the holiday season and a huge shitstorm the beatings will be removed from the celebrations. The whole thing is a nonpology and I will post a translation in the comments.

Hi guys, i'm really sorry if theres spelling mistakes in advance bc im really stressed out rn and typing this form my phone, but I was raped a while ago by one of my family friends, i dont want to go into it because it's still very painful to think about it, and today i found out i am 12 weeks pregnant, after i was throwing up and all for the past week, and my friend bought me a pregnancy test. i did not tell anyone because my parents are really strict christians, like the evangelical types and they would probably tell everyone and shame me for it.

Im 15 and Im a sophomore in south dakota, I need to get an abortion but I saw it is banned for no exceptions at all. I cant travel out of state at all because I don't have my driving permit, and I cannot tell my parents because even if i did, theu would not allow me to have an abortion. I thought about asking my friends to drive me but it would be a whole day out of school and my parents would find out, even if I went on a weekend they would know. I can't even say I'm going out with friends and then get someone to drive me to like Minnesota, because i'm not allowed to be out more than ~4 hours.

Im an honors student at school and I'm so scared this is going to mess up my life. I dont think I am ready to be pregnant and go thru labor I am so so scared. Because if I give birth to the baby, they will make me keep it and raise it and I dont want to do that I want to live my life normally I am honestly terrified. Please help what can I do? I really really need to get an abortion I dont think I can give birth to his baby as well I feel so dirty and hopeless I've been crying for the past hour

Come home yesterday after a long day to a beautiful poinsetta and xmas chocolates, and my husband had found the missing xmas lights and put them up in the window.

This was all without any prompt from me. The good ones are out there ladies, snag 'em if you find 'em and lock that sh-t down.

My parents are emotionally abusive. Not for the reasons I'm about to describe below, that's just a general fact. I'm in my mid 20s and I'm almost done with graduate school. My parents are driving me completely insane. I can't "go no contact" at this time.

Before my parents met or knew anything about my boyfriend, my mom said he may be abusive because of his "culture" and "astrology." My parents put on a huge show for any guest, especially my ex-boyfriend who was never all that serious about me, and never invited me to spend a holiday with him in the 6 years we dated. They greatly encouraged my dead-end former relationship.

Anyways. My parents put in minimal effort with my boyfriend when he visited over the holidays (they met him briefly once before) to a laughable extent. They asked him "do you have any grandparents who are still alive" he said "no" spoke more about that, and then they didn't ask anything else lol.

At dinner party after my bf left, my mom randomly states "OP's boyfriend's parents just got divorced. His mother left the house because the father was abusive." I never said this, stated such, and left. She then pretended she never said this.

So, after my boyfriend left they said the following about him:

- They accused him of lying about his salary because of Salary disclosures, I showed the recent one from last year, which generally shut them up

-They accused him of trying to steal my money because he suggested I use a Zelle account, as my bank already had one

-They said his answers seemed "rehearsed" and "psychopathic" and that the "vibes" were awful. None of my friends have ever said this, and I blatantly asked them and they disagreed, said we seemed happy and sweet, etc.

-They said the guests at the dinner party "hated him" when all he talked about was a vacation he went on. I'm sure they made this up

-They asked "does your boyfriend say we are controlling?" ?? You are controlling? You get upset when your mid-20s child opens up their own bank account? They said he is controlling because we spent a lot of time together early on, but this was also more because I wanted to make sure we could live together, as I was deciding if I wanted to start a long-distance relationship.

-They said our physical contact seemed "gross" and "forced." My friends said the opposite. My dad said, "The way he was touching you made it seem like he wanted us to know who his bitch is" (he put his arm around me, and held my hand).

-They said my boyfriend is so noticeably weird, and that any person that claims to like him is "blowing smoke up my ass" and that his career "isn't going anywhere" when he has been repeatedly promoted.

After this all happened, my parents tried to bribe me with gifts and a vacation, and act weirdly kind to me.

My OBGYN wants me to try pelvic floor physical therapy. She thinks my muscles are too tight and that’s why I have such a hard time with exams. It has gotten to the point where she has to give me medication to calm me down before she can even attempt anything but even then it still hurts. I also hold my pee for 12+ hrs bc of work and she thinks that is contributing to my pain. I want to be able to use tampons and have sex in the future.

For those of you that have gone, what was your experience like? I’m obviously afraid of the internal exam part. Did it help? Was it awkward? Did it hurt?

Any insight would be appreciated!

Stop Project 2025 Comic

This still explains what Project 2025 is about and it was done to help get out the vote. It can still be helpful now though to know what is coming.

Yesterday I asked if we are going to put the Christmas tree up. My daughters (18 & 16) were both busy with various things, and husband said let’s do it tomorrow. After lunch today, I sat on the couch and asked my youngest daughter if she is going to disappear to her room for the rest of the day. Yup. Said to husband later so no tree. Oops ha ha, was all he said. I’m done. I’m not putting up a tree this year. No stockings. Will probably save money as well.

Want to get a sports bra. Hunkemoller has a sale going on and I am looking at their HNMX sports bra pro level 3.

Does it provide good support? Is the material and fit comfortable?

Also, are their bras of good quality??

Do you ever have that one thing that is accepted in society that makes you feel fucking gross?

ISO a Reddit sub for mothers trying to get back into the workforce after an extended time away. Anyone know of a good one?

I'm in my very early 20s, and in the last 2 months I have been almost unable to orgasm when I used to have very strong ones. When I do it's never worth it and almost feels like nothing. With my partner I've tried toys and doing new things and it just doesn't work and it makes me have no libido. When I'm alone I can sometimes have stronger ones but I'm unsure what constitutes a hormonal issue versus mental.

Hey, so I have something important I want to share and get your opinion on.

So, my dad has a daughter from his ex-wife who lives with us. Everything’s fine, alhamdulillah, and we all get along well. But the thing that’s been bothering me is that my dad often compares me to her, even if it’s indirect—especially when it comes to how she interacts with him.

I’m not trying to put her down or anything. I love her, respect her, and wish her all the best. But what bothers me is that sometimes I feel like these comparisons make all the effort I put into my relationship with my dad seem normal or just expected. It feels like he doesn’t realize how much I’m genuinely trying to be there for him, spend time with him, and take care of everything he needs.

My sister is out most of the time, either at work or with her friends, and even when she’s home, she sometimes acts like she’s not there. She’s even told me herself that she finds sitting with my dad boring and doesn’t enjoy it, but when she’s around him, she acts like she’s the only one who cares about him. And honestly, that’s fine—it’s her choice to act however she wants. But the issue is when my dad sees her behavior as perfect and then compares it to me being with him all the time.

I’m with my dad almost all day, especially since it’s just the three of us at home. And because I’m around him so much, he sees every side of me—the good and the ordinary. I’m naturally a calm person and don’t like to put on an act, but sometimes I feel like he expects things from me without really appreciating them the same way he values her more obvious or performative actions.

It hurts because I want my dad to see how much I genuinely care for him and love him—not in a temporary or fake way. I just wish he’d notice the things I do for him without comparing me to anyone else. These comparisons make me feel like no matter what I do, it’s never enough.

So how can I bring this up to him without hurting his feelings or making things uncomfortable? I want to balance expressing what’s on my mind and keeping our relationship the way it is.

Look ladies, I’ve had a few yeast infections, and they mainly come right after my period since I guess your vaginal PH changes so rapidly you’re more prone to them then.. but oh my goodness never have I ever had one this severe. I may be crazy, but right before my period I went on a cruise to Nassau, Bahamas, and Coco Cay, and I’m thinking maybe being in a foreign country, wearing the same swimsuit for days, and being from AZ, going from a dry climate to extreme humidity a long with different waters more than likely upset my friend from down under. Anyways, I get back and me and my bf start getting back to the devils tango. Well, a few days later, I start experiencing some discomfort right after my period. Of course, my discharge is the usual white clumpy discharge you get from a yeast infection. It even smelt like yeast (i was curious..) well, we were still trying to do it while I had a yeast infection and I guess it made it worse before it fully healed. I wish I had known it would. So now, here I am with genuinely the worst yeast infection of my life. My Vaginal opening is sore and swollen, I have cracks and sores on my inner labia (which makes it burn really bad when i pee). I bought the 7 day Miconazle from walgreens. I genuinely start crashing out when I try to insert the applicator bc it hurts so much. I lost my job two months ago, and im not sure if my BCBS from FL will work in AZ, so going to a doctor is my very last option since my yeast infections have always gone away on their own.

Anyways, has anyone ever had one as severe as this? It started getting really bad yesterday and then thats when I started using the Miconazle. Anyone know how long it takes for a severe one to go away? Live, love, Womanhood 🩷

I am 31F and ever since high school I have been seeking validation and attention from men. I didn’t realize that’s what I was doing when I was younger but around 25 I became fully aware of what I was doing and it has basically been the motivator for everything I do in life. I have plenty of hobbies and interests, I am successful in my career and it’s something I enjoy but I still can’t ever fully focus on myself and I feel like I will always seek out this one thing. I’ve only had one serious relationship and in hindsight, the only reason it lasted as long as it did was because I liked having someone paying attention to me. I poured everything I had in me into him to keep his interest in me but it was never the right fit and I really forced it to keep him around. Every other man I have been with has been a fwb type relationship which I have always actually sought out because I liked having several guys texting me and wanting to see me. I’m constantly swiping on dating apps with no intention of actually meeting most of these guys, I’m just doing it for the validation. How can I stop this? How can I really just focus on myself and be happy without a man?

As a female AI computer science student, I’m getting more and more worried about male-dominated teams (often 80% male) deciding what GenAI content is "appropriate." We know AI can reinforce harmful biases, but who defines those biases? Shouldn’t users—especially women—have more say in shaping these systems?

GenAI will shape the next generation’s worldview, and I’m concerned about its impact on young women. How much do you trust GenAI, and is there a need to advocate for our own voices as users or am I just overreacting?

Some examples of bias:

• Generative AI Bias Analysis - Bloomberg
• AI Avatar App and Consent Issues - Technology Review

I am F30 and I've never been in a relationship, which is hurting me more the older I get. I've been strung along, always been the second choice, I've been treated disrecpectfully throughout every dating experience, I've been stood up more times than I can count and men never seem to see me as a desirable option. I am the placeholder, if even that.

How do I not succumb to bitterness when this is all I've experienced? It's seriously eating at my self esteem, I feel like there must be something wrong with me.

I hate when my husband buys me clothes. He’s often “influenced” by poor quality, heavily edited women’s clothing on social media. I believe he has the best of intentions— wanting to keep me on trend and looking good. I appreciate that. And yet it makes me feel terrible about my body. I never look like the models; they are toned, tan, and tall (all things I’m not). It’s also not comfortable. The straps hit me the wrong way, the leggings don’t stay up, the buttons aren’t right. I know I’m being picky. But clothing is a personal choice. I dress myself in what feels good to me, the texture of the fabric, the way it hangs on my body, how I feel when I look in the mirror.

When he buys me clothes and I don’t like them or don’t look the way the models do, I feel like a disappointment. When I wear work out clothes I want to be comfortable and supported; not things focused on low cuts and butt-accentuating curves. (A real kicker is also when he goes to the gym he wears the most ridiculous outfits, like old college tee shirts, ridiculous high socks, and mismatched shorts).

I may have had a mini (or maybe it was a moderate level) meltdown about this issue and I’m feeling pretty stupid. But also… I’m just in the feels about it and I think that’s okay. Anyone relate?

The only reason id even consider a relationship at this point is because I crave cuddles. I got the heaviest weighted blanket i could find, and then another one to go on top of it. I sleep like a baby now and haven't even thought about having a boyfriend.

Highly recommended to all my lonely gals out there 💛

Hey all. As the title says, I have a consultation set up to discuss sterilization with my OB. I’m in my late thirties, married with stepkids and not planning to have any bio kids. Because of this and the recent election, I’d just prefer to get sterilized and not have to worry about birth control anymore. I also have a family history of uterine cancer and, to be honest, am not interested in menstruating anymore if I’m not going to have children. My periods before BC were very, very unpleasant (heavy, lasting weeks at a time), but I’ve been on BC in some form for nearly twenty years so there isn’t a medical record of that. My periods on BC, say towards the end of the life cycle of my IUD, were also difficult but more manageable. I’d prefer to not have to remain on BC post procedure.

Is there any chance that, given my family and personal history, my OB will perform a hysterectomy? Has anyone been successful in getting this to happen? My OB is wonderful and very supportive, but I expect this to be an uphill battle regardless.

After many, many years of feeling shame, I (20F) bought myself a vibrator. I never thought I'd have the confidence to ever even think about sex or self pleasure in a positive way, so this is a big step for me. I've never posted here before so I don't even know if this is the right sub. I just felt like I needed to tell someone. I think especially as women, we are taught to feel shame about sex and sexuality and just repress all of it. I don't know. I'm just feeling a lot of things right now.

Hey all, Yesterday, I had to give a short ppt about my work during a secondment for my PhD in computational mechanics. Honestly, it didn't go well. I admit I wasn't confident enough since I had been sidetracked from my planned tasks, got busy resolving instabilities in my code instead of advancing it further.

So when prof called it "underwhelming", I decided to take it constructively. I can see where I went wrong; I dropped the ball on preparation and depth. I've been distracted by personal stuff, and some health setbacks. But when he asked twice "Did you do this?" | froze and managed a weak "yes". That moment stung-it felt like he was questioning my credibility. As a female from the Middle East studying higher education abroad, interactions like this often leave me questioning whether implicit biases are at play. This particular moment felt heavier as it mirrored similar experiences l've faced before. Am I taking it the wrong way?

I'd love to hear your thoughts. Thanks for reading—I appreciate it more than you know

I’m traveling abroad in a few weeks - initially, I was going to have another friend traveling there with me, but unfortunately she can’t come anymore.

I’m nervous! It’s my first time doing something like this solo. I’ll be going from the US->Vietnam -> Thailand then returning to the US. I have friends I’ll be meeting with in Ho Chi Minh and Bangkok, but they won’t be with me all the time.

I’d really appreciate hearing about any of your solo travel abroad experiences and safety(or any, really) tips you have if you’d like to share!

My sister is sixteen and I’m really concerned with her. She is just a complete ghost of herself and has been saying really concerning things I should have taken more seriously when she said them. She’s just a total shell of herself and she’s begging for help in any way she can. Her recent doctor has prescribed her so many medications, one at a time sure but they will put her on a medication, she will say she feels the same after like a month, and they will give her a new prescription a bit later. Since about spring she’s had 4 or 5 medicines. They have this 80 lb sixteen year old on lamictal for her anxiety and depression.

I told a guy I felt I had really connected to. We haven’t been talking a week really but conversation has been fun and we’ve related to each other about a lot of things in our lives and we have some of the same experiences. Why is it that when I explain about my sister, he suddenly feels suicidal as well, and didn’t feel like I actually liked him because “I just say it.” It hasn’t even been a week.

Did this man really think that I would be dropping my sister to make him feel better about himself. I am just totally upset. I’m surprised though I shouldn’t be.

Update: he said, and I quote, “If you’re not ready then maybe don’t try a dating app ding dong”

Yeah.

Have anyone realize that there are way more insult terms toward women than men. Even the men ones such as pssy and motherfer and son of a bch reference women. Like there is so many ways to insult a women (usually resolving around sex) but barely any for man

i was thinking back to this interaction i had earlier in the day. i was at the train station and this boy who was in retrospect clearly just trying to test his charisma by trying to get girls numbers approached me. i didn’t really want to give it but i don’t know why i did.

i’m upset with myself for being so compromising to the feelings of boys just because they ‘want’ me. i wish i was able to set boundaries. and he hasn’t even texted me not that i care but it just goes to show they only do it for their egos.

and it reminds me how in high school people there were rumours about me being a hoe because i was giving a lot of boys attention and stuff. i’m mad at myself because i feel like i let it happen again. i feel easy

i just hate the whole concept of women being a trophy to them. they don’t care about us us human beings and im disgusted at myself for playing into their game.

i wish i was one of those bad ass women who just says whatever’s on their mind i wanted to ask him if he does that with every girl he sees but now he’s walking around thinking he’s that mf.

i’m not really sure what im looking for with this post, i wanted to rent and if anyone of you relate that would make me feel betterrr