so none of us are tops or bottoms or vers because "b" said so and we just stole it from gay men and actually we've been wrong the whole time because dom/sub are interchangeable with top/bottom and don't have different meanings at aaall 😔

I'm a bi and polyamorous transfem. While I'm attracted to all genders, I feel like I need to have at least one sapphic relationship (or be pursuing one). I've come to call this being an obligatory sapphic (like there are obligatory carnivores, animals who have to have meat in their diet to survive, even if they can eat some other things). If I wasn't polyamorous or if it wasn't a trait some humans had, I would absolutely be lesbian. Does anybody else feel similarly?

I'm crying😭😭😭😭 the end took me away

Does anyone have some good recommendations for where to buy promise/engagement/wedding rings that aren’t so traditional and preferably from someone who is a small business and makes them?

I haven’t been able to get this diva out of my mind since the day she graced my screen.

I'm a lesbian feeling like my standards are too high/too specific. Maybe I've developed a bias bit I've noticed alot the sapphic relationships around me being very fast moving and emotionally intense. I'm the kind of person that gets burnt out easily/likes to take their time to feel comfortable. I hope to more people out there are into slowburns/not rushing physical intimacy. Not that it's a bad thing it's just not for me. I just wanna know if there's more slow burning sapphics out there 💝

Hey so im a transfem who plans on getting bottom sugery soon and also plan on being in a lesbian relationship i was wondering if anyone could share what its like having sex with one from the perspective of both having it and having a partner with it

Im going along the lines of how similar is it too a cis womans, does it give the same feels how similar does it look and such

Welcome to the daily chat thread! These are a a place to talk with fellow WLW (Women Loving Women) about whatever you like. The threads will show up five days a week. The two days without chat threads are Selfie Saturday and Wedding Wednesday, so save your photos for those days.

Daily threads go up at 9am EST every day and remain stickied on the front page until the next day's thread replaces it.

Now I'm super happy for everyone who's in a healthy relationship, truly wish them the best. But seeing everyone around you being happy while being alone and miserable is quite a harrowing experience. It's not like I've not tried, I did but this is really difficult with everyone being either straight, taken, or too damn far away from my city. I know I'm supposed to be calm and wait, but god it really gets on my nerves at points. I don't know what I've been doing wrong, or if I'm unlucky, maybe I'm too impatient. But Jesus this shit hurts. Everyone around telling you about how cute their partner is, and half the online feed being filled with stuff about romance, it feels like this untouchable mythical fruit that I keep trying my hardest to get a hold of, yet never getting any closer to reaching it. I don't know what I'm supposed to do except just enduring it, but it feels insufferable right now

Hey everyone, so I’ve (F23) been seeing this girl (F25) for a couple months now. Things are great except we have two different lifestyles and I’m also the first woman she’s tried to pursue romantically. She’s mostly been with very masculine men. I know I can get very insecure when comparing myself and I feel like it’s bound to end anyways. I’m really not trying to be biphobic so clock me if I am but I don’t understand how someone can date mostly men for all their 25 years of living then only be attracted to me for the foreseeable future. In my head I just expect her to eventually want to go back to dating a man. I lay pretty decent strap but I can tell she prefers sex with men much more.

Sorry if this is biphobic. I wouldn’t mind talking through it.

Hi, I've been with a woman for a few months, we're doing really well, it's a relationship that I define as healthy after a series of toxic stories. When I met her, she had been in a relationship with her Swedish ex for about a year, a toxic person, with whom she had cut off all contact. They were together for about a year, then my girlfriend left her because she couldn't take it anymore. My question is this: my girlfriend has the title of a Swedish song as her bio on Instagram, it's obviously a song about love/sex between two women, the song came out right when they were together. When I asked her why she decided to put that phrase she replied that it's because she likes the song... and ok, that's fine. But can't it be a coincidence that it's a Swedish song? I could understand any English song, but Swedish? I may be paranoid and I keep thinking that his ex introduced him to that song/dedicated it to him... do you think I should pretend nothing happened, act like a mature person and not make a drama out of it or should I point out to her that from my point of view it's a lack of respect towards me? Also I would like to avoid arguing because every time I bring up the subject of the ex we end up arguing, and that's the only reason... for the rest we never argue. What would you do in my place? Thanks

https://www.reddit.com/r/TheLastAirbender/comments/1i2ea0v/korras_biceps_self_cosplay_nylawho/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb3x&utm_name=mweb3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

So me and my gf have been together for a little over two years now, and it's been great! We've faced our fair share of difficulties and challenges along the time, but generally we've been happy and deeply in love with each other. I see a clear future with her and want to continue our relationship as long as possible.

However, I come from a previous relationship where my ex didn't do that well mentally and was extremely volatile. This caused me to learn to read the smallest changes in behavior and texts and assume for the worst. As in that they're calling it quits and breaking up with me, telling me I've failed them as a partner. Now, my current gf isn't that unpredictable, but her mental health changes a lot as well and she might get episodes where she doubts our relationship and especially her feelings towards me with the underlying idea of her not being able to give me the love and attention I deserve due to her condition. During these episodes she becomes more distant from me and she becomes a dry texter and the alarm bells go off in my head immediately. And I hate it so much that I'm so insecure that I get worried so easily when she's not either doing well or she's just super busy.

Any advice on how to combat this and just trust that she'll tell me when something's really up? Thanks a lot in advance!

TLDR; My previous relationship was very unstable and I was often made to believe that breaking up was gonna happen over night. Now in my current, happy relationship when my gf's mental health takes a turn for the worse or she's just busy and she becomes more distant, I always assume the worst and think she'll break up with me.

We're both single, and lonely, and I think we like each other. Or well, I like her in the crush sense and I really don't know if she sees me as more than a friend. But we both like each other enough that we've spent the past several weeks putting together a care package, with a cute hand written letter, that will then get shipped across the world. But that might just be something friends do for each other? I know she mentioned wanting to do it for other friends, so I don't know.

She is a really confident and dominant women, with a bit of shy when it comes to friends and relationships. We've only know each other for about 4 months now, and I think we've flirted a little bit, but it's really hard to know.

I'm sort of struggling a bit, because despite her being more confident than me, I've been the one to initiate most things. She has expressed wanting to actually come and visit me, and yesterday I made a comment about wanting to bake her food from my country, and also go visit her so she didn't have to go and watch moives at the cinema alone. I've also been thinking of Valentines day coming up, and how cute it would be to be each others valentines. Despite being very shy and anxious, I am usually the person that initiates flirting, or asks the other out for a date, so it feels like if I don't do anything nothing will happen.

It just makes me feel very anxious of being 'too much'. I'm autistic, and I've been described in the past as too intense or too much, which is a hard criticism because it's so hard to puzzle out social interaction. I don't want to push things too hard or fast and scare her off, but I also really like her and want to spend more time together.

What are some ways I could flirt with her? She is a very confident and dominant person, and I am a switch with a preference for being submissive, and I've never flirted with someone this confident (and attractive, she's soooooooooooo attractive, and her voice oh my god) before.

Hi friends. I'm really really nervous to post about this because I'm afraid it's going to sound like...I don't like I am throwing a pity party. So I would request gentleness please. Because this is really scary for me to post about. And also kind of embarassing. Anyways, for context I just got bottom surgery in December. Which I'm so grateful for. Because I wanted a vagina for almost 10 years. But like, I also have cried a lot. Because my neo-vaginal canal is really red, and my labia majora are still really swollen. And like I am worried my vagina isn't pretty enough. That probably sounds really silly, and that I'm being a negative nancy.

But as a femme looking and feeling pretty are really important to me. I am really sorry if all this sounds really dramatic. And I am really sorry if it sounds like I'm ungrateful because I'm not trying to be. And I'm really sorry if it's like super narcissitic of me to even post this. But like...if I could get some support and advice on how to love my new body parts I'd really appreciate it. Please don't judge me because like I am really scared of the responses I'm going to this.

Edit: Thanks to everyone who responded. My heart is filled with love, support and joy. I feel seen, heard, validated and comforted. And that means so much to me!! 🩷🩷🩷🩷

Its way better than tinder and way easier to hookup their too aha. Feel like it's slept on allt though. Would like to hear everybody else's thoughts too

i have deep down known that i like girls since i was 11, since that age i have also grown so so much in my faith. I know that i cannot be with a girl and be in the church. I believe in the church and in the holy trinity, i believe God’s message but i know i will never be able to deny my same sex attraction. I have posted in the catholicism subreddit about this also and they mainly said to live a life of chastity but i know i want to be loved and to give love back, they also invited me to learn more about my faith. I love God so so much, I dont know what to do. I don’t know if i’m indoctrinated, i don’t even know what that means but i know I love God and I want to be as holy as him, what do i do. I am so lost, I wish i knew what God would want me to do. My heart is in 2 different places right now

Hello I’m 25f and I have always thought of myself as bisexual since middle school. Then later started questioning my sexuality sometimes I would wish I was a guy and just think of it as a gender bender joke thing that most people question like “oh what if I was the opposite gender ? “ But I’m like ALWAYS catching myself questioning it not sure if that’s normal. I love being a cis gendered woman but I don’t know. I like men but do I only like them because I was conditioned to ? Sometimes I feel like I hate men in general. It’s all so confusing to me. I’m not good with flirting with women never was I’m not sure how most of the time so I always back track to only seeing men because the fear of learning something new ( even though I want it ) scares me. Ugh

My relationship with my last ex ended after I told her I wanted children and she didn't. MY child is VERY young. I hope I can meet a woman who wants to be apart of my tiny family. Feeling hopeless. I got what I wanted though and my baby is really the best thing that's ever happened to me so I'm not complaining I just feel a bit lost.

Hi! I’d love to hear from couples that have moved cross country and have advice for staying close with family / finding a new friend community.

TLDR: My wife and I are looking to move to Seattle (where I am from/my family and friends are) from Philly, where we currently live (near her family). We are fortunate to have strong relationships with our parents and siblings and want to maintain those despite the move. My wife is feeling very nervous/sad/prematurely guilty to be so far from family and is scared to start over. I’d love to hear how people keep up relationships with family that are far away.

For more background, my wife and I met in 2020 through remote work, living across the country from each other. She was set to move to NYC and in early conversations, I expressed an openness to living somewhere else temporarily, but a desire to settle/raise future kids in Seattle where my community is. I did end up moving to NYC (after 9 months of long distance) and then Philly, but I have always made it clear that my end goal is to move back to Seattle. I was never really open to living somewhere else long term, and she never expressed a firm desire to settle in Philly.

Over the years, we have visited Seattle many times, and my wife has really grown to love it. We are talking about moving back in the coming year. But every time we have this convo, she gets incredibly sad about leaving her family. She is worried they will think she wants to leave them/be far away, and that we won’t be able to keep up a close relationship. She is also scared of starting over and finding friends that are hers alone (since I have a lot of friends there already).

So I guess I’d love to hear from anyone that has been in a similar situation - close to your family but far from your partners (or vice versa) - and how you have balanced the family dynamics and started over in a new city.

I’m [23F] bi and met a girl [23F, lesbian] on Hinge back in November. I’ve never even kissed a girl before but she’s gorgeous and exactly my type. We’ve gotten together like 7 times since then and we haven’t kissed or held hands, although we usually hug and there’s definitely tension. I know we’re both shy and take a minute to warm up to new people. However, we haven’t talked about past relationships/sex/etc. yet and I’m starting to feel like I’m past the point of no return, where I’m anxious that I’ll never be able to make a move and that she’s going to lose interest because I’m not making a move. This has always been easier with men because they tend to just do it, but I’m finding it a lot more intimidating to be the one to make a move. What kind of date should I ask her on to create the right environment for physical touch? How do I make a move (beyond just the typical answer of “just ask her”)? Any other tips? HELP I really want to kiss her 😭

Y’ALL I need serious help from the lesbian community. I know at the end of the day I’m the only one who knows myself and who I like, and I’m the only one who can decide that. However, I would really love some advice from people who actually KNOW they’re a lesbian. For context, I’m 17F, I’ve never been in a REAL relationship (only very complicated situationships and talking stages that have all been with women or individuals who identified as female at the time) and I’ve never had my first kiss or anything like that which makes this even harder tbh.

So for the pastttt 3 years I wanna say? I’ve been really questioning whether I’m bi or a lesbian… I’ve questioned it so much to the point of it being obvious that I probably AM a lesbian. Because, if I wasn’t, I probably wouldn’t be questioning it that much, watching videos as to how you know, taking quizzes, reading the lesbian master doc, etc. So I know for a fact that I experience attraction to women VERY heavily. Sexually, romantically, and emotionally. But with men- not so much. Which I know is quite telling because if I don’t feel all of those things for men but I do with women it’s like, again, kinda obvious?? However I always get really stuck with men. I’ll find myself being attracted to certain men… usually celebrities or fictional characters (I know the whole ordeal with that already, you cannot base sexuality off of people you’ve never met). But there have been times irl where I’ve seen a man or interacted with a man and felt attracted yk? So I always get confused with that. I’ve also had crushes on guys before, or at least what I thought were crushes? It’s usually been with guys who definitely don’t like me back and we just have a really good friendship, and I’m usually unsure if I mistake the intense feelings of liking them in a platonic way with romantic feelings or what, but it’s HELLA confusing.

I’ve also heard the whole “you like attention and validation from guys but you don’t actually wanna date them / be with them,” which I’ve really resonated with. But the thing is, as I said, I’ve never been in a relationship. So I think that no matter who it is, or what gender they are, if I start bonding with somebody I automatically get the idea of romance because I really want to be in a relationship. I think I just yearn so heavily for a romantic connection that I make any relationship romantic. Even if, at the end of the day, I don’t want that with a guy at all. That’s the next thing… I do NOT feel sexually attracted to men whatsoever. I don’t even think I’d kiss a guy, hold hands with a guy, cuddle with a guy, etc. That all just makes me like- uncomfy. Like I get the ick so heavily imagining that. But sometimes I think I gaslight myself into thinking “well it’s because of your SA trauma and that’s why you don’t like imagining it,” cause again I’ve never actually been consensually physical with a guy. A couple months back I came out to my friends as a lesbian, and I identified with that for like a month, and then decided that I’m still young and felt like I wouldn’t REALLY know until I’ve actually kissed a guy, and that I don’t need a label right now. But honestly labels make me feel more secure in who I am as somebody who really struggles with identity. I hate not knowing who I am, especially in terms of sexuality. That’s why I really wanna figure this out, even if I am still young and have plenty of time to experiment. I just wanna KNOW.

If any of you have advice or opinions based off of what I’ve said, pleaseeee help a girl out because I’m struggling 💀

Do yall like flat/small chests? Just curious

Does anyone listen to “not ur therapist” anyone?? I need to vent about it asap!!

P.s i loove Jamie so bad she’s emotionally intelligent and a bomb communicator

so i just did it with my gf last night and it was so good. but i think she’s a little too rough because she’s really turned on. after fingering, she saw her fingers have a little blood stain, idk if my vagina is bleeding or it’s because i just finished my period two days ago…

now my vagina is a little swollen and it hurts. it’s really uncomfortable to sit. but it’s not like SO MUCH pain, it’s just kinda burning a little and uncomfortable, is it normal?

oh, and the pain wasn’t on the inside, it’s on the outside, the vulva?? i think it’s because she’s rubbing it to hard and fast. it’s nice but it’s too much for me since it’s my first time. i also already had a talk with her about it

Context: My partner was out with her friends from work grabbing drinks when she saw a “very obviously butch lesbian” (sorta like Big Boo from OITNB) ordering a drink at the bar. Her coworkers and her were posted by the bar for some time when apparently some tall guy trying to grab a drink at the crowded bar said “excuse me Subaru” to the butch lesbian who laughed it off herself.

When my partner told me what happened I personally found it funny myself since I still remember the L Word episode on Subaru being THE stereotypical go to lesbian car manufacturer, but I’m curious to see if this is triggering to any people within the community. If yes, please add your comments as to why below.

I’m curious to see if anyone here is offended by that joke he told at the bar to get by or if they chuckled a little like me. The only person in her group offended was FTM so I consider that more the opinion of someone who is queer/trans not lesbian so looking to see what any other cis-lesbians think of this.

No answer is wrong.

To preface, me (25F) and my girlfriend (23F) have been dating for about a year and a half. While this is my first serious WLW relationship, she has been in a few. GF has such a kind soul and is very trusting of people easily, whereas I’m the opposite and don’t really trust people until I know I can. She has really bad anxiety and avoids confrontation and arguing either way anyone at all costs, whereas I would rather be blunt and confront someone instead of letting things remain unknown/unclear.

So she’s friends with a girl she used to be involved with but it was never a relationship, and she said as far as they ever went was the other girl fingering her once. When we first talked about it, she assured me nothing was going on and she’d tell me if her friend ever did anything that made her feel comfortable. When she would talk to me about some of the things her friend would say when they hung out, it sounded like her friend was flirting with her and trying to push her boundaries and see if there was a chance something could happen. Again, GF assured me it wouldn’t. One day while my GF was in the shower, her friend texted her and said something along the lines “you weren’t acting like that when my fingers were inside of you,” referring to when that happened about 4-5 year prior. Obviously this really upset me, but I wanted to see if my GF would mention it. A few days later she hadn’t and I brought it up to her, and she got upset because she was “trying to figure out how to tell me because she knew it would be a problem.” She showed me her response to the message and she basically ignored it and brushed it off, but never told her friend it made her uncomfortable because she said it would cause an argument, which is how she deals with many situations. So I spoke to her friend about how some of the things she says/does is disrespectful to the relationship and she became defensive and bitched at me for trying to control who my GF is friends with and said if she has to deal with me, she doesn’t want to be friends with my GF anyway. GF was stressed out by the situation but said if that’s how her friend reacted, she didn’t really want to be friends with her anyway.

This was about 8 months into our relationship and fast forward to now. My GF has always struggled with finding friends and uses bumble BFF where she’s met a few friends and hang out with them occasionally. Ever since the situation above, I’ve been hesitant about trusting some of her friends if I’ve never met them and this causes arguments between me and my GF at times. She will occasionally throw up in my face “well you made me lose one friend” and asks if I don’t want her to have friends at all, which is definitely not the case. She’s never cheated and I’ve never not trusted HER, but it’s hard for me to trust people until I know their intentions even though I trust her judgement.

So my question is, would that situation bother you or did I overreact? And is me being hesitant to now trust her friends right away justified or should I just suck it up? Any advice is welcome please! I don’t know what to do.

I hate her thinking that I don’t want her to have friends because it’s the opposite, I’m so happy she’s finally making friends I just want her friends to have the right intentions and not take advantage of how trusting and kind she is. I want to be able to trust people as easily as she does and believe they have pure intentions but it’s so hard, especially when I’ve been cheated on twice in the past.

I have been trying to find ways to find more queer community within my neighborhood. Had idea to hang out flyers and then my opted out of that for safety reasons (probably for the best)

I am in Philly and just seeking a little guidance & different opinions. Shockingly enough I live in a college town (I’m in my mid 20s) and am surrounded by a lot of LGBTQ+ people, POC (I am poc), unique dressers, and families, but don’t go outside 😭. Outside of going on Instagram and looking up queer community in my neighborhood are there any other recommendations I could do? Any advice is good advice! (Usually)