I need tattoo inspo and butches always have the coolest tattoos

hello dear butches,

with Black Friday and cyber Monday it is the time of year where I buy new underwear, however last years (Calvin Klien Modern cotton stretch) wore out a bit faster than I would have liked (I air dry them and wash them on cool) I was wondering if there are butch recommendations on a somewhat stylish, somewhat androgynous brief that is comfortable but doesn't wear out quickly and is ideally 95% or higher cotton and around 15$ or less per pair

thank you in advance

i know the cologne question gets asked a lot but every post seems to be america-specific! i’m a bit clueless about it all but my gf likes a more leathery scent on me so something like that might be good :)

i’m lost on what to get my girlfriend as stocking stuffers. she’s not SUPER butch, she’s more like petite masc. we’ve been together 6 years and for some reason this year i’m stuck. she doesn’t want snacks as i buy those for her every other day anyway. for reference, she’s 24, 5’3”, we live together and she’s a gym gal.

For the past few months, I’ve been attending a queer girls’ event almost every Friday. Through these events, I’ve met a lot of nice queer women, some of whom have shown interest in me, but I haven’t really been able to reciprocate. My intention has always been to meet new people and make queer friends, letting everything else flow naturally. Plus, I’ve been busy and focusing on self-improvement.

Among these girls, there’s one who is quite attractive. I’ve just been talking to her like a friend just like with anyone else at the event, being myself—funny, relaxed, and easygoing. We’ve met frequently in group settings at the events. So two weeks ago on the same Friday event. She asked nonchalantly if I wanted to join her at a late-night club event at the other place instead of just staying with queer girl group and chatting. Since I had already committed to my Saturday class in the morning, I had to reluctantly decline.

Despite her always staying longer at these queer girl event, that night, she left early for that club thing. So we were able to chat just briefly. Since then, I saw her just yesterday. When I saw her yesterday at the queer event again, she seemed more friendly, welcoming, or excited—just happy to see me. I started talking to her about my past week, again just being myself, and mentioned a silly mistake I made that gave me a small but deep cut on my pinky finger, among other things. I felt like we were more connected or friendly than before.

As we were chatting, all of a sudden, she mentioned that I missed out. She said I missed out on going to the club, where they had so much fun which involved dancing and all. (Ok i can dance but not in-front of a crowd just saying ) I was quite taken aback by her comment. Maybe I’m being delusional, but it felt like she wanted me to go when she asked me a fortnight ago. I feel like she might have thought of me.

To be honest, I know she is a lesbian, as we met at the gay event and she’s pretty vocal about her sexuality. She is extremely good looking—model-like face, a few inches taller, but I don’t mind. She seems like a quiet and shy type who doesn’t talk much unless she’s very comfortable with the person around her. My first impression of her was that she was model-like and intimidating. However, as I got to talk to her, that image of her vanished. She is my type: pretty, feminine, and someone who gets my humor.

I do find her attractive, just like any other girls I’ve interacted with, and most of them are straight. So this girl, who is gay, hasn’t really shown any non-platonic interest in me, so I’ve kept the boundary of not making her uncomfortable by trying to make a move or anything like that. However, after yesterday’s interaction, I’m a bit puzzled. I wonder if she just thinks I’m funny and likeable, or if she’s actually started to feel a bit of attraction toward me.

Also, she is so pretty, I don’t think I would be able to handle her being with me, as I feel like everyone would want to be with her, which just shows how insecure I am. These thoughts have just been running through my mind. I’m trying not to think about them, but I can’t help but wonder what she thinks of me.

—- Plus, since I am masculine-presenting, what I have realized just recently, despite being out for so long, is that even though you know the other girl is into women, not knowing if you are their type is quite frustrating. Type in the sense of whether they find masc women attractive or are exclusively into femmes—or both. Do you guys have any tips or tricks to figure that out?

I bought the tomboyx compression top and I was disappointed by how ineffective it was. I’m debating whether or not to buy a binder but I’m not sure if it would be too much for me? Does anyone know any compression bras that actually work? (not expecting to be as flat as if i used a binder of course) or does such a thing not exist and should I just get a binder? I don’t think being completely flat would be comfortable for me but the tomboyx compression top I’m using doesn’t make me as flat as I would like. Maybe I’m being too picky? Please let me know your thoughts

Hey everyone,

I’m going to an afrobeats party soon, and I wanted to reach out for some outfit ideas? I am a 25 year old masc presenting black women that’s fairly tall (5’10”) and slim.

The invite is against causal wear such as bandanas, sweatshirts, sports attire,etc. I usually wear streetwear or smart casual/ minimalistic. But I just wanted to get ideas from others? It’s going to be pretty cold so I was planing to buy a jacket or sweaterof some sort.

There weren't really any subs for the kinds of posts I wanted so I decided to make one. it's r/mascwomenhentai. (sfw art is also allowed.)

We have tried some lower quality stuff and some mid priced options but they always end up failing the test of time.

Looking for something more secure than a boxer type harness. Important detail, we are in Europe.

I sometimes think that I will never find the one. Apps are not working well for me. I’m too shy to go out and chat someone up, especially that I am more fem than masc/butch besides I am not even sure if that would be okay… what would I say? I am not even sure if I am attractive enough for masc/butch. I am not high maintenance. I don’t wear dresses 😂 I went through therapy and that opened my eyes as well that so many of us have so many problems that we put on others. I just really wonder how do you find someone that matches you and you create a happy relationship…

Uhhh so my coworker the other day made a comment about my Kansas City hat and said “the f@gg0ts of Kansas City” I really don’t think he knows that I’m literally as gay as it gets or he did so he said that ?? My feelings aren’t hurt I work blue collar so whatever not the worst one Ive heard but that’s so odd? He then tells me that he hates Taylor swift (Travis Kelce her bf is on the chiefs) and that she takes the balls of every man she’s dated. Again, I literally am just doing my job and sitting there very confused the whole time. I don’t hate Taylor swift I don’t really care for her, I’m like “ahh that’s a Taylor song nice ” but I don’t like know her blood type and zodiac sign. My coworker rage baited me irl!!!

I love my family! I do! My parents and sister both accept and understand that I’m gay and gender nonconforming and they’re generally respectful. They can’t relate or understand, but they love me and that’s all I can ask for.

BUT every time the extended family comes over they cannot help but hide their disapproval in small little phrases and sayings. It can range from innocent things like “You look like your father! Literally!” which I just smile at but then it will go into making fun of my hair, making fun of my outfit, making fun of the way I talk. Eventually the night devolves into me feeling like the gay character in a sitcom. I know these people love me, although a few desperately wish I’d just wake up straight one day, but GOD DAMN! I’ve been dressing and acting like this for 6 YEARS! At some point, you’d think they’d get used it! Maybe it’ll set in when I’m 30. Who knows.

The highlight of the night was us watching The Masked Singer on TV and my grandma saying that it was a show “for queers”. All eyes immediately darted towards me as I just sat there.

i want to preface that this is a happy story!

so my family used to openly make fun of other gay relatives (all distantly related) but once I came out in college they didn't speak abt it. I assumed they still said stuff abt those relatives and me but just behind my back. no one really acknowledged my queerness and a lot of conversations felt stilted after i came out. and I kinda just assumed the worst of them (my brain sucks and their past behavior didn't help). but today I went to Thanksgiving and my gf wasn't with me bc she went to a wedding across the country.

no one has verbally called my gf "Lee's girlfriend" or anything even though we've been dating for almost 2 years. but, today, my uncle called to me when I was grabbing a drink and asked "where's your woman at?" and it was like so weirdly affirming bc that's the exact same thing he would say to one of my brothers if their girlfriends hadn't come to a family dinner. I've been thinking abt it all day and it just makes me really happy despite the misogynistic under (over?) tones.

I’m in the process of butchifying my wardrobe and I just bought a couple of cute swim trunks so I’m pretty happy, but I don’t have anything to go with them lol.

I don’t really wanna wear my old bikinis anymore, so I’ve been looking into swimming sports bras but my google searches always lead me to normal compression sport’s bras? Is it the same as the bikini material? The sport’s bras I use are cotton I think, so getting them wet would be weird. Should I get quick drying bra’s or something?

Last year I was supposed to get my first Pap smear test done and establish with an OBGYN since I was at that age. I made an appt and everything but I canceled it because I was scared. I saw my primary care doctor recently and she insisted that I need to get a baseline test done as soon as possible. I have an appt scheduled, and it is in a week.

I can’t help but imagine how awful I’m going to feel on that table while I am in a position that’s going to make me feel so exposed. I worry about crying or panicking over something that most women do relatively easily (I know no one enjoys it.) I worry it might hurt a crazy amount. I have jokingly said before “it’s an exit not an enter” based off of my personal preference. The thought of a massive speculum going in worries me too. I have a hard time simply using a tampon.

Every time I think about this appointment and how it could go I get really anxious. I’ve had a panic attack about it already. My girlfriend is going with me so I’m extremely thankful for that. I don’t think I’d be able to do it without her. The reason why I chose this doctor to do it is because I went with my girlfriend to one of her appointments. The nurse had asked her who I was while we were separated for a moment, and didn’t skip a beat when she told her I was her girlfriend. When the doctor came in she shook my hand, looked right at me, and treated me very normally. I know that seems small, but I live in a more conservative state and I’m used to people and doctors treating me differently/poorly and looking at me weirdly solely based on the fact that I am butch.

Most of my friends are either bi or lesbians, but they are all very normal presentation wise. Obviously there is nothing wrong with that but it is a bit lonely in a way to be the only one thats visibly and excessively queer. Like I'm not just more masc but I'm generally very alternative (pink hair, a ton of piercings etc) while they are all very conventional. They cant relate to my experiences with harassment or how it is to feel very uncomfortable outside of progressive areas.

Trigger warning: homophobia

So, recently, the ten years of enduring shit for looking "too masculine" got the best of me, so I just spilled almost everything I thought about it (omitting the gay part, lol). My mom briefly apologized, but then started guilt tripping me, like, how I could have the audacity to hold a grudge against my own flesh and blood. And my father didn't acknowledge his fault at all. My mom would be like "I didn't like it, but I was silent" and "It will affect your personal life, you'll bring a lesbian home" (I guess according to her logic, femmes, especially femme4femmes aren't actually gay). And then she'd be like "I just wanted you to stop getting men's haircuts because you looked too young" and "you need makeup to get a job" (I work as an ESL tutor and some women don't give a shit about makeup). So there's no telling what her real opinion is, whether it's the gay part or the me getting a job part.

It kinda triggers me like crazy because I end up longing for a life I'll never have. I wish I was a girlish straight woman, but after multiple attempts to alter myself, I realized I'll either end up having a mental breakdown or digging my own grave and nailing down my coffin (figuratively and kinda literally speaking). So I chose to be true to myself, while also being closeted. I never asked for any of this and if there was a way to ensure that I'd be left alone, I'd take this opportunity. My real life will be hard as shit and I recognize it. I don't feel confident with grown out hair and too much makeup (the only parts of makeup I genuinely am cool with are foundation and powders). The former, however, is my biggest confidence killer. I WISH I could tolerate it. I WISH I could do it. But I can't. I hate looking at myself and feel hideous when my hair is too long (which from my POV is anything below ear length/masculine haircuts). The longest haircut I like is something reminiscent of Tom Cruise at the A Few Good Men premiere. Plus, I don't have the features for longer hair. It drowns me out and makes me look too plain. To top it off, I hate how I look with it and I hate dealing with it. Too much makeup (I can hardly tolerate eyeliner and tinted lip balm) makes me feel like I'm in drag.

I'm also sick of my identity being invalidated. No offense to trans people, but I am NOT a trans man and I do a lot of things with my style that would have made most trans men feel dysphoric. I am not trying to "reject womanness" or whatever the fuck it's called. I respect makeup as an art form and actually want to try doing it on other people. I used to be obsessed with wearing it as a teen, but now I hate having it.

As for the gay part, what the fuck does me being masculine have to do with me being gay? If I suddenly decided to be a black haired version of Marilyn, I'd still be gay. I am not trying to be more or less gay (in fact, I see it as a regressive mindset that should stay in the fifties). If they knew or suspected, wouldn't it be better to leave me alone? In fact, I still would have needed guidance to protect myself from the homophobic laws that have been popping out like crazy for over a decade. I need to take multiple precautions to protect myself from being outed, especially since I plan to work in an office soon. It sucks that I have to stay silent about this in front of them.

Anyway, I guess some relationships can't be amended, no matter what I do. I can't help it if the other side doesn't want to contribute to improving it. I'd give up anything to have a normal life, but that's what I'm dealing with. There's nothing I can do but accept it.

Disclaimer: I'm talking about masculine haircuts, but NOT crewcuts or buzzcuts. I'm talking about something like Maverick from Top Gun or something similar.

Do any of you cut/trim your own hair? How much of a reckless idea is this? Is it possible to learn how to do it? Will me having thick hair make it harder? I heard of some people doing it, but others tend to say it's a reckless idea.

I'm just considering this in case I won't be able to afford trims.

This is another vent that I'm not sure is negative or positive. That's kind of why I'm making it.

I have babyface, which I don't mind since I'm college-aged. However being masculine presenting and being still called cute is something I've been conflicting with mentally for a while, especially when it comes to my attraction to women.

The rundown of it is essentially...

Family member, a completely platonic friend, or a man calls me cute: no, don't call me that. I spend hours of my time doing my hair, picking out a wardrobe, shopping for accessories, and generally shaping my entire identity around not being that. I don't want to be seen as cold, but I don't want to be seen as soft or malleable or anything of the sort that could be incorporated with the phrase "cute."

A butch or an older femme calls me cute: Yeah sure do whatever you want. Call me a bunny or whatever too. I, for some reason, am incapable of complaining because I am nervous of upsetting you despite me probably not even feeling any real romantic or sexual attraction to you. My half of my brain is frustrated and the other half is validated and happy.

The point is I'd really like to not be called cute so I didn't have this mental dilemma!

Got any good news? Anything fun going on in your lives? Learn something new or make any plans you're excited for? How are you doing?

I currently listen to agonizing ones. I dislike country. Anything else goes. Thanks very much

Specifically I’m emotionally and mentally butch so I’m not looking for songs about (or by) physical butch that are emotionally not butch. I hope that makes sense

It’s from a musical called “fun home” and it’s on YouTube, makes me cry every time 🥹

I want to read more books with butch characters. But also I don’t want the character’s butchness to feel like set dressing or a diversity checkbox. I want it to matter. I want to feel like the author gets it on a deeper level. I also think it would fix me if the character was celebrated for their butchness. Also open to other butch-adjacent flavours of gender fuckery that also made you feel seen. Doesn’t have to be a book about being butch but it would be cool to read any book that contains a female character who is unapologetically gender nonconforming and maybe even gets a bit of a romance subplot :)

I do not know if such a book exists but I feel a void in my heart that only reading a book with a butch main character will fill. Anyone have any recommendations?

I see a lot of people who were pretty visibly tomboys as kids and grew up to be butches, but I’m wondering if there are others out there who grew up pretty committed to performing femininity and only started exploring masculinity in adulthood.

It feels a little isolating at times. Like people will see a picture of me from my late teens/early 20s and be like “wtf that’s a whole different person”. But I’m one million times more comfortable in myself and my body and the way I am perceived now that I can wear men’s clothing and have short hair and not shave or wear makeup or worry about all the little things like “wearing the correct bra for an outfit”, having to readjust my clothing a million times to make sure I am covered, and having people perceive my body in ways I am uncomfortable with. I am grateful every single day that I get to feel like myself every day now. But there is also some level of grief for not having explored this earlier in life and living in vague discomfort for so many years, and also looking at old photos and not recognizing myself. I used to do a lot of theatre growing up so I was constantly putting myself in this very hyper-gendered space onstage, and never really got to explore my gender expression on my own terms until I was nearly out of college.

I’m wondering if any others can relate?

Insane title, sorry. Thought I’d ask here instead of a more hair-forward sub because i feel like y’all get it. I’m currently growing out a buzz cut and I feel like I need a lot of haircuts to prevent myself from looking insane in the grow-out process. I’ve mostly just been having my barber shave the sides every now and then because I don’t trust myself to do it.

I’ll be visiting family for the holidays and am starting to look shaggy again. I am currently debating whether I spend money to have my trusted barber cut it, or have my grandma, a lifelong hairdresser, do it for free. She knows how to do men’s haircuts, but I do fear that if there’s any way she could possibly manage to make 1 inch of hair more feminine she will do it. Can anyone think of any way this could go wrong? Lol.

Like huh? Mullet doesent equal butch automatically! I’m just sad I can’t get my mullet 😔

Any fashion advice for short mascs? I'm tired of dressing in plain t-shirts that somehow make me look, well, not so masc. Also any advice for building a more masculine body? I'm a teen so I think I might still have some growth spurt left.

I'm starting to get kinda hopeless.

I drifted a lot in my identity, for a long while I identified as bisexual because I could, and still can, kinda make up an Hypothetical Man I could maybe be attracted to if I squinted. I stopped, because a man that was exactly what I had a tendency to make up for this presented itself to me, and was attracted to me, and it made me deeply uncomfortable anyway.

So now I'm only trying to date enbies and women and... As someone who is into other androgynes and butch, it's hellish over here. People into me are all trans men, or nonbinary people who want to go on T and pass as men fully. It's starting to grind me down. I have lesbian and butch on my profile, and yet. The worst is that often the profile is unclear enough that I go on first dates, and then realize : person completely ignored I was a lesbian.

I'm starting to wonder if the only way I can find other people like me is to present myself as a T4T trans man, just because it seems the concept of butch lesbians doesn't really exist here. Every person I've met who had similar experiences to me has been identifying as a trans guy, people hear that I use he/him and immediately disregard the fact I say I'm a butch lesbian. I'm tired of it. I'm starting to want to force myself to see if I could bear getting with someone who wants to present as male, if that person is the closest I can find here to me. I don't understand why I find nobody who's like me.

I'm french, so maybe another french butch will see this? Is it only me? I'm sorry if this is weirdly written, I'm trying my best.

In some threads in here, there are referrals to dating, sleeping with, or having relationships with, "straight women". I am not questioning the straightness/self identification of these women, although I get why some would do so when they are sleeping with butch women, but ok. Their call.

Merely curious - I have a pattern of desiring straight women, plus there are a ton more of them than Femmes (where I am at). However I never felt I could actually have them, because...well, straight, right? And now here, people are getting it on with straight women all the time lol?

Can you please discuss/elaborate the dynamics between masculine lesbians and straight women? Is it a specific thing to engage in, or basically pretty similar to lesbian encounters, just with a wider audience? How do y'all do it?

hi! femme here 🥰 i have the loveliest boyfriend who i would absolutely love to help out in terms of understanding her own identity more. she achieves such euphoria when it comes doing masculine activities & mannerisms and being called masculine names but i can tell there’s something holding her back. id love for everyone to describe what their identity and what their butchness means to them if it’s not too much to ask! i’d love to hear everyone’s perspectives. i want to be able to understand my partners feelings and identity on a deeper level so i could help her in any way possible whenever she needs it.

thank you everyone! ❤️