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My “best friend” was telling his gf i’m trans and making jokes and talking shit about me behind my back. I’m going to call him J. This happened a year ago and i’ve stopped hanging out with him before i heard about any of this because he is a pathological liar but i was just told yesterday by my friend im gonna call M who doesn’t know im trans. J told his gf at the time (broken up now) that i’m trans and made jokes and talked shit about me and all of our other friends and said horrible shit about us while we were all thinking he was our friend. His ex didn’t tell anyone until they were talking about J and she told her friends that he used to say horrible shit about his friends and they asked what he would say and she told them. The one girl she told talks to my friend M so she asked him if it was true and since M doesnt know he said it’s not true and told the other people that it wasn’t true and to not go around saying that, love him for doing that. But now i’m so paranoid that he’s gonna find out somehow all because of J. J doesn’t have any friends anymore because we all dropped him and i used to feel bad about it but now i don’t. I’m so fucking pissed. And i know some people might say “just tell ur friend the truth” but i don’t want to lose my friend especially since it’s my last year of high school, idk if he’d care but i don’t really want to risk it, he’s a good guy so i feel like he wouldn’t care but still.

I don't know why it's like this, it's weird since I don't have much guilt for being trans anymore, maybe a little here and there, I have my moments, and yet I feel so much guilt for being gay? Even though I am trans I don't see myself as trans anymore since I've been passing for more than a few years and knew I was trans since I was 12, I'm 17 now, I forget I'm trans a lot of the time. I dunno whether this stems from me feeling like I can't like guys since I was born a girl and it feels like I'm "infiltrating" their community or whatever or cause of Christian shit.

I live semi rurally and it's pretty conservative, idk I've just always gotten more shit for liking guys than I have being trans, even just saying "liking guys" makes me feel wrong, it's stupid but idk how to fix that, anyone else in the same boat or was cause I'd love to hear your advice cause it's getting tiring, feels like there's a pit in my chest whenever I even think about that stuff. How did you guys get through that and other trans guys who are gay and open about it or accepting with it already how did you get to that point?

I (17 female) think I may be trans. As of now identify as a gender nonconforming lesbian. I’ve always been a tomboy in a way and enjoyed being with boys as a kid. I also had a lot of feminine interests as well and my mom likes to describe me as being very feminine as a kid. I still enjoy feminine things but I feel a disconnect with my body and my presentation. Relationships are also extremely hard for me i’ve started to wonder if it’s because I am participating in lesbian relationships. I’ve also realized that i am attracted to men but i’ve never been interested in heterosexual relationships. I think this is because I feel even more like a girl in those relationships than in a lesbian relationship. I’ve tried to talk to people about these feelings but never been able to say full out that i want to be the opposite gender. i’ve always just said genderfluid or nonbinary. but in my head I have no hesitation that I am a bisexual man. i’m so worried about how people will react. my mom and me have had arguments about transgender people and she says they should be able to do what they want but has also had some very negative views. when i came out as a lesbian she was upset but she was also relieved because “she was scared i wanted to be a boy” referring to the way i dress. I am working on being fully self sufficient so i can get on testosterone when i turn eighteen but i am struggling with depression and suicidal thoughts. I am in a constant state of dissociation. It feels like my time is passing by and im living someone else’s life. All i want to do is come out and scream it from the rooftops but my fear and shame is getting in the way. Idk im kind of just running in circles but I need to get my thoughts out. I know how the world sees trans people and I worry that being myself might be just as bad as pretending to be a hot lesbian even if i don’t resonate with any aspect of myself. I just wish I could wake up tomorrow and be a man or boy. idk im just over it i wish i didn’t feel this way.

So for context, I’m a trans man dating a cishet woman. We’re both pretty young and our relationship is fairly new but we sometimes talk about having kids and what they might be like. I have no interest in getting pregnant, but she does, and obviously she’s aware we can’t go about it in the traditional way.

I’m wondering if anyone knows about any way that my genes could be passed into a child she carries. I remember seeing some study about sperm cells developed from bone marrow but I think it’s been retracted, and frankly this sort of stuff is so out of my expertise I don’t even know what I would google to find out more about it.

Go to New York, cause in New York you can be a New man

TW: mentions of chesticles, possible dysphoria-inducing content

!why, as a trans man, am I insecure about my boobs? it doesn't feel like its because they're boobs and I'm a guy, it feels like it's because they're uneven and admittedly kind of ugly.!<

!can I be insecure about them without even wanting them? it just feels like damn, man. they could at least be pretty but nah. they're just weird.!<

Just started T a few weeks ago. I’m on .25 mL, my T comes in 10mL bottles, so that’s 40 doses per bottle. However, the nurse practitioner that prescribed it to me said that I should throw the bottle out after 4 shots, to reduce the likelihood of bacterial contamination, but that seems really wasteful.

I was talking to another trans guy and he said that as long as I’m making sure to wipe the rubber top with an alcohol wipe really well before each shot, I should keep the bottle and use it till it’s empty. Just wanted to know what I should do.

i live in a country with eastern values and quite a hostile environment towards queer people. my parents has mainstream religious values. my friends irl are mostly "normal". i dont know how i can even come out to people in my life. is getting on T or generally transitioning without telling them okay to do? have any of you had an experience with this thought? how did it end up for you? im actually just really confused, worried, and thinking a lot lately.

I’ve been on T for over 2 1/2 years, I’ve only been late for a dose 1 or 2 days. I missed my dose last week on Thursday because I was in the hospital and couldn’t take it. So should I take it now or just miss last week’s dose and take it again this week? I am just kinda worried of the side effects from it 😬

Does anyone have any tips on how to improve bottom growth? I'm willing to use pumps and all that, but I haven't been able to find one that's specifically for that. I was on T for about 3 years, had to stop because of some legislative stuff where I live and I'll hopefully be back on it soon. Any tips are appreciated!

Hi just starting into my transition and need advice to help feel less female and maybe pass better?

Hi everyone, I want to take T and see how I feel after a month. I've been trying to find post about people who took T for a short amount of time but stopped. Was curious what your reason was and also if there were any lasting effects or anything you'd like to discuss.

How many months along did you notice your voice drop? I’m almost a month on T and I know it takes a bit so I’m trying to pinpoint a range of time it takes for the average person on T to notice their voice drop, I know it varies on the person though!

I currently am not on t, but when I am I'm planning to use gel because of my needle phobia (had it forever and can't seem to shake it, unfortunately).

I've read about gel being able to rub off on pets and it being harmful to them. I I have cats (one of them loves climbing on people), a snake, and a gecko. I'm particularly worried about the snake because he likes to climb up my shirt/down my sleeves when I have him around my neck (and since he's longer than I am tall, it's really hard to properly support his body without having him around my neck).

Should I just wipe down the area a few hours after application? Take a shower and wash? I cant seem to find any information online so any help would be appreciated

I was looking at old pictures of myself as a kid and as much as I tried I couldn't see myself in it. Like I have the memories obviously. I know logically that it's me, but it doesnt feel like me. Sometimes I feel like someone else was living my life and then one day I just gained consciousness or something. Maybe this is weird and just a me thing tho. In Agatha All Along tho Billy asks if he is Billy or William and I related to that a lot, I guess I'm just wondering if anyone else feels like this.

hello i'm dredging up a topic i'm sure gets posted about constantly. i wasn't very picky at all about underwear until recently when it came to my attention that all the ones i have are abnormally high waisted due to the fact that i don't have anything going on down there. i don't pack and i don't really care to. i have to imagine other trans mascs deal with this but i haven't been able to find any advice on this particular issue.

do you guys have a brand that is reliably low rise on you? i'm not picky about whether they're boxer briefs or just briefs. would love to hear your thoughts :)

Lads, I found an affirming endo is finally in my area, and I'm so stupidly close to being able to call and find out what I need to do to get an appointment! The wait is fucking killing me, I've only got ten hours until they open, but I'm not tired in the slightest 😭

If y'all are up for it, I'd love if you leave some fun/funny stories and experiences you've had in the comments, can either be directly endo-related or just general life joys <3

Stay alive. If he gets in, you might have a pretty shit 4 years. But please stay optimistic, hope for Kamala and if you can, vote blue. If he gets into office, he can only ever have the next 4 years.

Stay alive, don't become part of the statistics that they want. Goodluck boys

TW: Suicidal thoughts

I(FTM) was just wondering what do you all do to keep your mental health under check.

I started T earlier this year after when dysphoria started getting too difficult to manage. My mental health immensely improved after starting. The first 2 months were mostly exciting as I was focused on noticing all the changes etc., as time went by the intensity of heartbreaks that I was going through just hit me so hard. Losing my family and close friends and having to deal with the transition all by myself is so fucking hard. It led me into deep depression. I started taking anti-depressants just so I can manage to keep my job, which helped by ended up spiking my anxiety.

Also I don't usually see many FTMs talking about this but noticed several MTFs talking about it--not sure why I feel more relatable to MTFs in this case. But when I started HRT, I finally started feeling at home in my own body after almost 3 decades of severe dissociation. Just getting back in touch with myself unearthed all the past traumas that I had safely hidden and dissociated myself from. This made just the act of transitioning feel like an extremely traumatic process and overwhelming. So I paused taking T for about a month.

While pausing T reduced my anxiety, it has made me very suicidal. Now I pass most of the time and as a man it seems difficult to form meaningful friendships like I used when I was being read as female. Women just see as predatorial and that just hurts so much-- it is humiliating to get such reactions especially from women who knew me well pre-T. I do not seem to get along with cis-men either because they don't get why I am transitioning and seem to still see me as woman and that makes me very dysphoric.

I restarted T now just to keep my dysphoria at bay, and I am in therapy. Everything is still very isolating and overwhelming that the suicidal thoughts are only getting worse by the day no matter what I do.

I am very desperate at the moment and I am afraid that I might pull the plug without giving my life much thoughts. I do not have anyone with whom I can talk to about these things. And most times there seems nothing strong enough to live for. I feel like I have been surviving the past year just out of sheer will power and no matter how much strength I try to put in everything is only getting harder and harder by the day.

On the one hand I am trying my best to take care of myself and on the other hand I seem to be automatically looking ways of ending things.

Tl;dr: How do I keep myself from pulling the plug?

It's November 3rd, it's been a full year since I started testosterone and it feels unreal. I started taking .5ml weekly a couple months after my 18th birthday and now it's a couple months past my 19th. I don't think I've had many changes but I've never felt so cool and confident about my gender, even though I don't pass at all. Being on T has helped me figure out more about what I want with my transition, I've realized I like presenting fem now that I feel more masculine physically, I don't really care anymore if strangers misgender me and only really care if my loved ones get it right because even if strangers get it wrong, I'm still a lot more male than the average woman with my raised testosterone levels, deeper voice, and bottom growth.

This year hasn't been perfect, my childhood dog passed away a couple months before I turned 19 at a much younger age than we expected but I'm happy she was around to see me graduate highschool and start my medical transition even if I don't think I'll ever stop feeling her absence, it became clear just how unsupportive my dad is and just how right-wing he's becoming so I've had to transition secretly, and T has absolutely wrecked my skin. Overall I'm in a better place now than I was last year even if it can be difficult and I think I can keep going forward.

I'm hoping to move out of my Dad's place soon, move to a more progressive province and start online college. I hope I'll get to meet more people, make new friends, maybe try dating now that I feel better. I hope I do well in school and find a new job. I hope I have the energy to draw more, game, bake, read, and hike more. I'd like to try writing, crocheting, and being a little more active on social media. I should start voice training more and exercising to pass a little better or at least be more androgynous.

This year wasn't perfect but it had its upsides and I hope the coming years only get better!

Thank you for reading and I hope things are going well/getting better for all of you!

I was born in a muslim household and I love my religion although I don’t think that I’m that good at being a muslim but I’m trying, I’ve always imagined myself as a guy because the idea of it was appealing to me and suited me more and I’ve always thought about my gender identity and realized that I’m more masc than fem but always brushed off and ignored those thoughts because I didn’t want to be considered a sinner and disappoint everyone around me. It got very overwhelming to the point that I’ve decided to talk about it to one of my friends and he wasn’t very accepting of me, I live in a place where if I only acted/dressed a bit differently I will be shamed and made fun of so coming out as trans is something I’m hopeless about because I know I will never do it for the sake of my own safety. That is why I had told him that I’m only going to open up about it online where I feel much more safer than the real world, he told me something along the lines of “Pretending to be a guy on the internet is weird” and it genuinely hurt me because now I am doubting myself and asking myself if I’m actually a guy or am I just lying to myself.

I also wear hijab and I love my hijab, I present fem and I’m used to it so I don’t have trouble with it even if I hate to look at myself in the mirror sometimes because all I see is a woman. I don’t want to take my hijab off, accepting myself as a trans man is hard enough to do and comes with enough guilt already, the constant thought that god will never forgive me for being like this is always haunting me and it doesn’t really help that I have homophobic people surrounding me that make me feel ashamed of who I am indirectly by making fun of people of my community so I would rather not take my hijab off.

I don’t think I would ever make it as a trans male, sometimes I think about ignoring all of this, sucking it up and living as the “female that I always was” but I would have hatred for myself. I mean, I still do live as one.. my name is a woman’s, I get addressed as a woman on the daily, I present as one but I dislike it, even if I love my religion and hijab. It’s so confusing to me.. I don’t know what to do.

I just know the things that I will never do.

I’m never getting surgeries, I’m never coming out to the real world, I’m never telling my close friends about this. I’m not doing anything about it. Out of fear and I feel trapped and it seems to me that I always will be.

so i just started T on saturday and u but the shot in my thigh but now today my my thigh has been hurting me am like sore and i’m wondering if this is normal at all

I have recently started experiencing very period-like cramps in the lower belly/groin area, but I haven't had a period since I started taking testosterone over two years ago nor any period-like symptoms.

However, for the past year I've been taking very inconsistent doses of testosterone due to the risk of running out and the inability of getting it while living abroad, so I had to dilute my dose to 1/4 what I was supposed to take, and I recently managed to renew my prescription after moving to another country. However, the GP advised me to take the full dose (even higher than my original one, so about 5x higher than what I've been taking for the most part of the last year) even though I explained the situation.

It can't be good to have such constantly varying amounts of testosterone, and a friend of mine recently had to have his uterus removed urgently as a result of a too high T dosage (GP prescribed, but as we know, even medical doctors are often ill informed about transgender health, and my new one doesn't make an exception so far).

I'm trying to get an endocrinological visit, but until then there isn't much I can do. So I'm wondering if anyone has had similar experiences and if so, if it's anything I should worry about. Also, does anyone know of any papers about the effect of inconstant testosterone levels?

Hello! So I started T not very long ago after turning 17, and I'm not sure if taking 250mg (sustenton) bi-weekly is okay. Should I instead reduce it to a weekly basis for more stable hormone levels? I've heard it usually lingers in your body for about 8 days, the first to two days being at its peak but after the 8 day mark it begins to decline. I'm not sure sure about this however, I'm aware 250mg is a very high starting dosage for someone just begginining to transition, but I don't have access or am being monitored by any medical professionals, this is all on my account so any help would be appreciated!

Hey guys, soon-to-be college grad here, this'll be my first time living on my own in off-campus housing. I'm starting to look around at places in my city, and I'm a little worried how that process is going to go since I'm trans.

For context, I've been on T for a year and pass pretty comfortably as a dude to most people. However, my legal name is still very obviously a woman's name, and all of my documents say I'm a woman. I live in the Midwest in a small college city, which is to say the environment for queer people is not terrible? but not amazing either.

Does anyone who's been here have any things to look out for, or advice to give? Really anything would be appreciated :)

Im a trans guy and recently I’ve been attracted to cis guys. I’ve acted on it, and have had sex with cis men. I get really turned on by cis men when I’m horny but after I finish I want nothing to do with them and loose complete attraction. Is that normal?? Its like I get post nut clarity every time lmao idk what’s wrong with me

Hey folks, I’ve been out as trans for 8 years and I’ve been on T for 3 years almost 4. Let’s cut to the chase, just had sex, and they came in me. Whoops! Not the first time I’ve had sex but the first someone has came inside me. Basically idk what to fckn do - can I take emergency contraception? Google says yes but I’m nervous that emergency contraception contains oestrogen. If you’re in the UK and you’ve taken emergency contraception on T please help me out! I have 0 idea wtf I’m doing and as the time goes by, I worry more and more. I know this is obscenely immature, but I don’t know what to do. I live in a city that is good and well accepting on trans people but I fear that if I go to a pharmacy and explain my situation that they wouldn’t understand.

I turn 20 next month and I do not want a baby brewing inside me. Because I came out early, sex was never really a discussion within my transition. Being pregnant is probably my greatest fucking fear, and you would think that being trans for 8 years and going through the NHS system that somebody would tell me about whether or not I can use emergency contraception or any contraception for that matter but nope! First I heard of it was actually very recently when the nurse distributing my injection asked me if I was fckin around ifykwim and I was like yeah and she suggested the possibility of me getting an IUD. I’m a uni student studying overseas, and unfortunately I wouldn’t be able to fit the time in, especially when I’m already seeing a lot of doctors and missing uni to further my transition.

So I live with my mom still, as I’m currently in school (freshly 29). And well….yeah she saw my STP. Just a silicone dick by the shampoo. I’m so embarrassed but also this is hilarious. I’m out to her but she’s very conservative and that’s still just not really her business.

I just needed to share this bc this is so funny and embarrassing and I just needed to tell as many ppl as possible.

I identify as a trans man, am on T and it is helping with my dysphoria, and plan to get both top surgery and some kind of bottom surgery. I’ve been out for years, and have a diagnosis of gender dysphoria with the symptoms going back to when I was a toddler.

But recently over the last few months, whenever I think about something that happened in the past, even if it was post-transition and super recently, I imagine myself as having been a woman? I do not look like a woman, want a woman’s body, or use female pronouns, but it’s like as soon as I leave a moment, I feel like I was a woman in that moment, even though I didn’t at the time? Maybe it’s dysphoria, especially as I’ve been exposed to a lot of transphobia recently, but it feels different to the kind of dysphoria I usually experience. These feelings make me feel uncomfortable and invalid as a man, and I don’t know what I’m supposed to do about them. Does this mean I’m not a binary trans man, or that I should detransition? Has anyone else experienced this and did you figure out what it meant/what did you do about it?

So my (29) husband (36) calls me wifesband. This was made up years ago as I used to be genderfluid. I'm a trans man now and one month on T. I told him that I figured myself out as a trans man months ago like around July and only just now started to accept myself and taking the steps forward. Unfortunately, he doesn't fully commit to saying husband instead. He is starting to use my new pronouns and my new name but he won't use husband. He gets really sad/disappointed when I say things about how I don't like my chest or I joke about having a d!ck. Like I know he's straight and I told him he isn't stuck with me. But he refuses to leave and says he will stay. He has told me "Well I don't have anywhere to go." Since I do the work and have the money. It's like whenever I talk about my tranness, he seems all sad about it. And I don't know how to feel about it. We have been together for 11 years and 4 years married. It's really hard to let something like that go.