Where do yall thing gay black men should move if they are seeking to find community and love

• can’t be atl sorry
• looking black gay professionals not twitter gays and onlyfans folks

Due to my up bringing I feel like I can’t truly be happy. I don’t know what I like exactly. When I was growing up I always heard Adam and Eve etc fast forward to my teen years I wanted to try to experiment but never really did it until I was 18 it was amazing. However fast forward to now I’m dating a couple of women that I’m not really interested in but I do like like guys but it’s hard after hooking up I feel great guilt and shame. Even when I did find a guy I actually liked he ghosted me after a few times because I wasn’t gay enough. Grindr and jackd has really fucked that up for me. Guys don’t care that I’m not comfortable yet with them to let them do certain things after all I’ve only been with about 7 guys max and about 5 women. I like guy’s bodies first and foremost when it comes to women I turn into a sapiosexual. How did you become comfortable with yourself. I’m 31 now

Hey you guys! I was sitting with myself and I started to realize I might suffer from internalized homophobia til this day. When I see people talk about older studs/butches it makes me discouraged. It’s always some negative connotation hiding behind humor. Or when people say this person look like a stud or dyke. Sometimes I get self conscious. I’ve always dressed masculine and now in my head I’m like damn I look exactly what people describe. It’s hard to find your own self attractive when you don’t seem desirable. When I was younger I didn’t care at all. I’m 22 now and it’s like I’m going backwards. Then, I’m not the skinny type. Lol I’m pretty husky. Either way it’s something that I’ll work on through time. Any advice🤙🏾

What is a femme and what is a difference between a femme and fem ?

Hey 👋🏾! I created a Black queer millineals meetup group for DMV area folks to connect and build community !

Check out Black Queer Millennials on Meetup https://www.meetup.com/dmv-black-queer-tribe

Any make up tips to help a transfemme out? I’ve been on E for just over a year now and while it helped with facial features, I still wanna experience full face glam/ everyday looks so I’m not so masc in the face,I’m just so new to it all. I’ve gotten concealer, and foundation down but eyebrows and eyeliner are killing me.

Pic is me at around 3-5 months. Just there for visual reference (also the last time I wore makeup

Hello, Ever since I became bisexual (leaning more towards woman) I noticed I can’t keep a relationship with a woman. I am always the situationship before the girlfriend. & my last fling was seven months ago and I haven’t talked to anyone that really had my interest since then, I just been focusing on myself and doing some reflecting. I just want to understand because they claim their feelings are strong for me and I feel that, but be so quick to get in a relationship with another girl.

Why am I the never the one that gets the girlfriend role ??

So for starters I'm 17 and I have to main questions

First one being:If I was to date a trans women would I be considered gay, im young and I don't have much dating experience so I just wanted to know if it would make me gay

Second:Is anyone else having trouble finding people to date, i go to a trade school but there isnt any cool clubs or lgbtq clubs that I can hang out at or anyone that I find interesting that I feel like building a connection with, maybe its just me but also going out hasnt had much luck either

Sorry if it sounds odd but sometimes I feel confused and just need a little advice

I just started playing and would really like to build a world with someone.

Why didnt anyone tell me that dating when you’re gay is complicated as hell because of how the community is. Like your dating life is either one or the other

1. You grew up in a small town with not that many options so you don’t have a dating life till you’re 20’s or 30’s and then finding someone who wants to deal with someone with no experience or is still a virgin gets tricky because some gay guys expect others to lose their virginity in their teen years.

2. You grew up in area with options upon options so you get to have a normal dating life like most straight people.

3. Your life is like a movie and you meet the one gay boy in your school and you date him because he’s the only queer within a 100 mile radius or walking distance or in some cases that one dude who was straight his whole life until he met you.

4. You’ve been hooking up with DL guys since middle or high school and you either continue doing that or you wake up and realize you’re self worth and try to have an actual relationship not based around sex.

5. You were being fast or felt so alone and went on a dating app or website and started hooking up with men way older than you and then just coast through life or looking back at it thinking it was normal.

6. Or if you don’t fit a certain body type or have an unreasonable standard of beauty you’re deemed undesirable which might mess with your self confidence later on and you break your back trying to look a certain type of way.

Anybody feels attraction to straight men a lot ?

For the Love of DILFs premiere party ❤️❤️

Felt like sharing a bit of my inner thoughts with yall bcuz i love this group so much!

Growing up, I've always had a fondness for dressing 'loudly', I found myself greatly admiring and envying black women/men with a killer sense of style and a striking flair to their look pulled at something deep within me (though my tastes have leaned in a more effeminate direction). It pretty much played into how i present myself now, my wardrobe choices, and even how i carry myself. My passion for fashion is simply a part of who I am. Whenever I see someone dressed to perfection and in a way that catches my eye, i feel that familiar pull that makes me wish I were them or with them or both lol

I obsess over color coordinating with brighter colors, and i rock any accessories I can get away with like patrerned ties, enamel pins, buttons, superhero rings, kicks, etc. Anything that shows off my inner nerd, my love for pop culture and books.

Anyways even though, I've come into my own many years later, I can't always dress the way I'd actually like, but that never stops me from expressing myself in little ways to give some flair to what I wear. So what are some ways that you, subtle or otherwise, give the flair to your appearance?

Today, I was watching Le Hub, and after I busted a nut, the video content made me a little uncomfortable. Like obviously, 20 seconds before, I was excited about it, so it's definitely me. I'm wondering, though, if anyone else has that experience.

Soo as the great poet Shawn Carter once said. “Please allow me to introduce myself” my name is Vönn. I’m 33, a Leo and nonbinary. I am finally getting my life together and discovering who I actually am. I’m a recovering people pleaser, I’m recovering from self doubt and low confidence. But no mas! I’m going to toot my own horn a bit. In the past year I’ve gotten myself into therapy, I’ve gotten medicated for my ADHD and depression, I’m taking my health more seriously, after like 10 years I’ve finally figured out what my calling is and starting school in Jan, I’m moving to my dream city(Chicago) in may, I’m finally out of this depression I’ve been in. I’m learning myself and loving all the things I’m discovering. For such a long time I've let others peoples opinions dictate how I saw myself, I've allowed myself to be treated like shit because thats all I knew. Im done living a life where I can't trust my own voice. I’ve struggled so long with wanting to be wanted and pouring into others. But I am pouring into myself, No longer downplaying my intelligence, no longer allowing my voice to be small and unheard.

So I am looking for my people, I am looking to create an actual family for myself, I am looking for love, I’m looking for friends and gaming partners. I’m hoping to find others who love to read, who love broadway, who love to travel, tell stories, pop metaphorical puss, and just over all community. Also I’m a becoming a bit of a radical pro-black person. I’ve lived a majority of my life in white communities, I’ve spent so much time “understanding” and even falling prey to some of the anti-blackness and I don’t want that anymore. The yt people haven’t given a fuck about us forever and it’s high time I use my empathy and emotional intelligence for my people. When I’m done with school I want to provide therapy to queer black people. I want to help us live in our full authentic lives.

So if you’re a gamer(ps5), want community, an avid reader, say hey! If you are into therapy let’s talk! I’m here to uplift, talk shit and just being me. Im here to meet positive people, im here to make friends,meet potential lovers, and meet new family members, im looking for book recommendations and makeup tips, im looking to have movie nights and book club and gaming tournaments. Truly, let’s be friends!

So I am a 18 year old Black gay male, and I have recently been getting into the dating scene and leaving the hook up scene, and I've so much on my mind to say.

It sucks being a black queer male when so many people within the community view you as a sex object that doesn't have emotions. It seems like every guy I talk to only wants to use me for aex without I am a human with emotions and that I can be emotionally vulnerable and fragile. People tell me, "You need to look in the right places," and trust me, I have, and it seems like the more men I talk to, the more I am looked at like a piece of meat

I talked with my mentor from a program I am in, and she told me, "It's not you that it's oversexualizing your self, it's the people around you. You shouldn't be objectified for how you dress. As a black male, a lot of people don't realize that you have feelings too. "

She said that to me as a response after I told her how crappy my dating life has been and how the people around have treated me. I told her about how people would call me a slut and a whore for how a dress. For reference I tend to dress nice, button up shirts that show me cleavage, oversized shirts that may expose my shoulder. I don't dress particularly masculine, or feminine, but I have learned to embrace my metrosexuality and androgny.

I also told her about how I found out about hos someone who I viewed as family admitted to me that he use to basically sa me without me knowing which really affected me. Another guy I was talking too from tindr was trying to pick me up and have sex with me a hour after we matched on tindr. Another dude that I considered a friend was trying to get with me even though we established that we were just friends. I'm learning not blame my self for what happened to me, or for how people treated me for how I dress.

It sucks because when talking to dudes I always consider their emotions and how they feel, and I really wish for the basic reciprocity. I just wish for a guy to understand that I need to take it slow and me wanting to take it slow is not because I am sexually rejecting them or a prude, but because I am afraid of being hurt, and that regardless of my race or the stereotypes regarding my race that I am emotionally vulnerable, fragile, and that I can have boundaries too. Me dressing nice isn't me asking to be sexualized and wanting to talk to you isn't because I want to sleep with you, its because I was to get to know you as a person, or because I care about you(whether it be in a friendly way, or something more than that) It makes so much sense why so much of us black queer men become emotionally unavailable. We've been taught that we should appreciate the fact that we are viewed as sex objects when that isn't true, we can and deserve to be seen a viable romantic partners. Us soft black boys exist too<3

Hello everyone, my name is Keri and im 28 years old. I am so happy i found this page on Reddit as i have been looking for a sense of community online that i can relate too. Im from Toronto 🍁 and ive been feeling a bit lonely/ depressed as i find it extremely difficult to meet people in this city. Being Canada’s largest city and North America’s fourth largest city one would think it wouldnt be difficult. However from my experiences being gay & black puts you at the very bottom of the barrel. I constantly see on dating profiles “ only into Asian, White, Latino etc” black is left out 99% of the time. Black people make up a very small percentage of the Canadian population only around 1.5 million of us. And many of us our parents are from the Caribbean or African countries so our people are quite homophobic. So meeting other gay black people is a bit challenging, i have no gay friends, like genuine friends, although i love my friends and they all know im gay i feel out of place sometimes because there a certain things i can’t talk to them about because they just wont understand. I spend most of my time alone, and i play alot of video games to pass the time, but i truly fear i will grow old without anyone to call my own. I know it sounds ridiculous but its honestly how i feel. I am a bottom and say i do initiate a conversation with another gay man they assume i am a top, and i understand im not the most feminine person but i am just myself, i try to be my true self 100% of the time. I have had people stop talking to me (romantically) after finding out i am a bottom, I’ve even had people tell me i should be a top because it suits my looks. I get depressed very easily and i feel anxious alot to the point where it has affected my social life. My mom is a lesbian but i have yet to come out to hear because of my homophobic family. They are alot more tolerant to lesbians than they are too gay people and i constantly hear them saying terrible things about gay men. I overall feel unwanted by life in general and i feel extremely alone. There are periods in my life where i just want to end it all, or i wish i was dead. Growing up, life was challenging, i was even homeless for a period in time. This has contributed to alot of trauma that has haunted me, and continues to do so. Tbh, im not sure why im writing this, i think i just needed to vent a little. I just feel so negative alot of the time and it hard for me to be happy. Im angry alot and i dont know what to do about it. Its like a sadness mixed with anger that i cannot seem to shake off ,