Hello I get a lot of small red dots on my face and neck, mostly around my eyes (looks like popped blood vessels), when i do certain activities with my boyfriend (getting choked & deepthroat). How do i avoid getting them, or how do i remove them? We’ve unfortunatly had to limit ourselves with the activities, because of the red dots.

So, in and outside of bdsm, a lot of people define their tastes and usually, by a fair margin, as dominant or submissive. I'd be interested in thoughts and talk about divergent or interesting takes on that framework. What other sub-catagories exist on that spectrum.

Like, I don't like being meek or acting weak, but I enjoy receiving commands or instruction. I flip on wether I like to accommodate these instructions, or put my own spin on it, depending on the circumstance. Maybe she wants me to go down on her, but maybe I don't stop when she says stop, unless is a no(there's a difference, lol)

Normally, I would say I am a Switch, but I don't really like to have a sub, or to have command over someone. I also can't call myself a sub either, because I like to break chains. It's an interesting power dynamic that doesn't really have a top or a bottom. I want to know exactly what they want, then I like to give it to them and then amping it up if I can and should.

Unless there's already a name for it, I've been thinking, untamed.

Would love to hear what other people think and know on some fringe or just less talked about interests or power dynamics.

I’m a trans lesbian, and I’m very kinky. Kink is an extremely important part of my and my partner’s lives and I love engaging with it! I’m horny and slutty and I love women and sensuality and I do desperately want to play and have fun and flirt on the internet and GOD why is that so hard!?!?

I recently started posting in a subreddit for a lesbian conversion kink. It’s a kink I’ve been deeply uncomfortable with for a long time and I really value kink as a way to engage with my trauma. What made me comfortable engaging with that community was the subreddit’s robust sidebar. It was stated to be a lesbian subreddit run by lesbians who want to explore this kink. All of the rules were safe sane and consensual and I was starting to get very excited! I went through some posts and was somewhat put off by the ratio of comments from men compared to other women, but this wasn’t inherently unacceptable to me. I made a few posts and largely had a positive experience. I started getting a lot of dms that really weren’t respectful or reasonable for the content I had presented, which really irked me, but oh well.

And then another lesbian dared make a post asking “is anyone else annoyed by all the men on here”. I’ll link the post at the bottom of this one for anyone who would like to see the fuckery for themselves, but for those who don’t want to be subjected to that, a short summary of some of the things said to me over dms or in comments by pushy men who made up at least half of the replies to the thread include:

-if you complain too much about men in this lesbian subreddit all the men will leave and then the subreddit will be dead

-men aren’t just guests in this lesbian subreddit where the sidebar explicitly states that men are guests

-men have as much a right to this lesbian space as I do

-homophobes have just as much right to this space as me

-a man said he wasn’t an ally, he just liked getting off to the anger I was displaying in the meta thread complaining about how aggressive and over-sexualizing the subreddit is

-same man proceeded to butt into a comment chain between me and another actual lesbian and throw a giant fit moralizing about free speech and public forums and how I’m evil for assuming he’s a predator

And all of these comments are sitting at higher upvote counts than my replies to them calling them out for blatant actual bigotry.

I am so deeply frustrated. There are plenty of other lesbians there who are interested in the same kink as me, and I just want to find community with them, but we’re just so outnumbered. I reported all these comments but I got a message from the auto mod this morning about the most egregious one and even it wasn’t taken down.

I’m considering starting a private subreddit and maybe having it be an all encompassing lesbian nsfw sub, just because it’s so hard to find community and be sexual and feel safe. At the same time I know my particular kink is probably not one a lot of other kinky lesbians have interest in so I’m afraid I’d feel scared to talk about my kink if the space is too general? Because I don’t want to subject anyone to it that doesn’t very specifically want to see it.

Here’s the link to the post mentioned above. Again, WARNING: this is a link to a subreddit for a lesbian conversion kink, as in conversion to straight, which I wouldn’t want anyone stumbling on unaware.

Hi. Since I've made a post about how this sub is dead and some people commented, Imma try put what I wanted to say in this space.

I have quite a lot of unusual kinks. Stuff like hypnosis, >!r*pe play!<, incest, transformation, especially turning girls into my personal living dolls. I love this stuff, and I know most vanilla people get freaked by this. I also have quite some trouble getting off to more vanilla stuff, which makes relationships complicated.

I guess I've internalized a lot of shame around it. I'm generally okay with being a lesbian, but the combination of those kinks with my identity makes me feel like a fucking predator. I went out of my way with all my partners to make sure ot was all always 100% sane and consensual. But damn, I still feel horrible about it sometimes.

It doesn't help that most subs I had didn't take my side of the aftercare seriously.

I really dislike how hetero most BDSM, or sex talk in general tend to be.

I was looking for the NSFW subs on AL and the other BDSM is down. It really does feel a bit isolating being a kinky lesbian.

Hello 🥺 I’m new to NSFW and need someone to teach me terms and rules and help me learn how to be the best sub a Dom could want. Anyone able to help?

R/lesbian_bdsm

Just FYI

In the spirit of making this sub active, lets talk about everyone's favorite subject, ourselves! I'd love to get a sense for what our demographics look like.

1. How/when did you realize you were kinky?
2. How has being somewhere on the WLW spectrum impacted your kink life?
3. What's one aspect of kink you want to learn more about?
4. What's one aspect of kink you're passionate about or know really well?
5. Link a non-sexual gif that's inspired you recently!

Hopefully, 3 and 4 can kick off some interesting conversation!

Hey folks, So I've wandered here from the bowels of femdom and other hetero-centric spaces seeking a space for lesbian dommes, subs, and those who love them! I've been trying to nurture exploring my dominant side but found little opportunity where I am. I'm also recognizing a need to explore and learn about submission with a woman but again, even fewer chances there.

Any recommendations on resources or online groups is welcome. I'm based in Asia and travel a bit too so if there are any good cities or groups you'd recommend, I'd love to check those out as well. Thanks!

I am seeing this lady that is into BDSM. I am looking for some information so I can have a clear understanding of what I am getting into, but also to be supportive if it should turn into a relationship

LTAB is not dead nor will I allow it to die. We are going through a hiatus, of sorts, right now. In due time we'll be back in action with a whole new gameplan of how to tackle everything.

In the meantime, I welcome the community to come here to ask me any and all questions you may have. This would also be useful in helping me figure out a gameplan for LTAB's future posts to provide you all with the information that you need the most.

​

Also, you can always inbox me a question if you'd rather keep anonymous. Your privacy will be respected.

You want to order some sex toys! Great! Here is a small list of websites I order from semi-regularly and haven't had any issues with. Whether it be strap-ons, harnesses, general BDSM toys, or basic toys I have you covered! A few of these websites also have discounts for Pride right now so that's pretty neat too!

If anyone has any reputable websites to add please drop the link and I'll add them to the list.

Remember: Silicone toys work best with water-based lubes!

Harnesses:

RodeoH

ASLAN Leather

SpareParts

Dildos/General:

SheVibe

Babeland

WetForHer

BDSM:

Stockroom

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I will discuss how to easily portray dominance and I will also go into strap on techniques. Let me preface this by saying that you DO NOT need a strap on to portray dominance. After a long time refining what dominance means to me I'm here to teach you my way, to the best of my ability. This is not the end all to be all but it should help some of you find your way, even if it's just a little bit. Before you can use some of the things I'm about to tell you, you must agree upon what is acceptable and what is not with your partner.

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There is misconception that being dominant is ingrained in your personality. I don't believe it is. If you treat dominance as role playing of sorts, I believe you're more likely to be able to portray that you are actually dominant. Get in the head space of being dominant. For some that may mean simply guiding sexual relations in general. For others it may mean collaring your sub and bending her over your knee. What I'm getting at is becoming a well rounded dominant party doesn't happen over night. You have to start small. Since this is an introduction of sorts, I'll tell you how I got started.

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*Dominance is about confidence!*

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I've always done what feels natural to me. If you want to be dominant in the bedroom it's all about the persona you project. Look at her like you want her. When you use your eyes, you connect with someone. Get her in the same head space that you're in. You want to ravage her? Look at her like that's what you want to do.

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Another thing you could do if its agreed upon is dirty talk. It may be a little messy at first. It may not go exactly as planned. You may laugh at some point, she may laugh at some point, but that's okay. Discuss dirty talking and if it's agreed upon, explore! I'm not going to go into a lot of detail here but some starting points of dirty talk could be as simple whispering "I want you" in her ear. It's all about the tone and how you say it. This doesn't have to be complicated. Start slow and build from there. If you all want a detailed run down of dirty talk I can try to get a quick guide together in another post.

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As far as actually getting down to business:

Foreplay:

Kiss her. Kiss her like your life depends on it. Like I said this is all about portraying dominance. Show her you're in control if that is what's agreed upon. Sit on top of her. Kiss her neck.

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Examples of things you can do if it's agreed upon:

Suck, Nibble, Bite (neck/lips/whole body)

Grab her hair

Tribbing

Etc

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The Nitty Gritty:

Take plenty of time with her. Make her feel safe. If you're using your fingers, portray that dominance. Hold her hand and pin it to the bed (if agreed upon). Look at her like you want to be dominant the whole way through. Talk dirty to her the whole way through. Pour your soul into fucking her. Use your whole body. Get into it. Don't be shy. If you're enjoying yourself talk dirty about it. Tell her how she turns you on. Show her at the same time. If you'd like to use a strap on, make sure it's agreed upon as not all women are comfortable with using one. My technique for using a strap on is very similar to using my fingers. Put your whole body into it! Become one with the strap on. Just because you can't feel it does not mean you can't reach sexual gratification in other ways. Press your body against hers, hold her, whatever you need to do.

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Aftercare:

This is the single most important part of this whole post. After you're done portraying your big bad dominance, drop the act. Hold her tight (or have her hold you), kiss her, connect with her just like you normally would. Rub her back or play with her hair. Show her she's important to you. Eat some snacks and watch a TV show. Hold her hand. These are just many different examples of providing aftercare. You can make it your own, just make sure you do it. I always try to make sure aftercare is at least 50% of the time my sub and I had sex. If you have sex for an hour, expect another half hour to be dedicated to aftercare. This is just what I do personally.

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This isn't an end all to be all guide. It's just a quick rundown of what has worked for me in the past. No one starts out chaining their sub to the bed and wielding whips. Everyone has to start somewhere. I hope this post helps at least one of you find your way.

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Thanks for reading,

i8764

THIS PAGE IS UNDER CONSTRUCTION.

There are a lot of words used by the BDSM community and I know that sometimes I get lost when I stumble across one I'm familiar with. That's quite alright. This is going to be a handy, go-to post for all BDSM Terminology. If you have any question regarding my cheatsheet below, please ask!

Right now I'm jotting down the most common and important ones I can think of. Feel free to suggest any and all terms to be added to this list.

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• Domme/Dom, Sub, Switch Here is a link to this groups post specifically for these titles. Keep in mind that if the title you're confused on is not listen, mention it in the comments. Updating is in progress.
• Safeword - A word agreed on before play that if used, means that play immediately ends.
• Aftercare - The calm down period after play. Treatment of wounds, communication about the play and feelings, and general TLC to help prevent sub drop. Aftercare varies from person to person.

Required for a healthy BDSM requirement.

• Sub Drop - Due to the endorphin rush of play, there is a chance of a crash which leads to a physical condition that can have cold-like symptoms. It's nasty and can last for hours, days, or even a full week. Best prevented by Aftercare.
• Sadist - One who enjoys dealing out pain and/or humiliation
• Masochist - One who enjoys receiving the pain and/or humiliation
• Hard Limits - Non-negotiable. These are the things that someone will never do. Do not push.
• Soft Limits - Negotiable. These are the things someone isn't sure about. It can be negotiated and best introduced slowly and at the beginner level into play. Can become a hard limit.