I jump between heteroromantic bisexual and just heteroflexible, put point is Im straight until I get wet (like spaghetti lol). Because of this, and my ”bisexualness” only existing in sexual scenarios but never romantically, I dont feel like calling myself bi when people ask because it in no way reperesents my day to day life. I mean I would talk about that side as much as I talk about my sex life in general, but it feels so complicated to tell people Im bi if it isnt relevant to who I am in any way shape or form except in the bedroom.

What di you guys think? Am I being a bad member of the community or does this make sense?

Welcome to r/BiWomen's fortnightly discussion megathread. Talk about anything and everything!

While conversation topics can deviate from bisexuality, make sure to familiarise yourself with and follow rules 1 through to 5.

Enjoy! ♡

Just curious as to porn preferences! I was chatting with a fellow bi-gal about it and she’s very into MM only porn/‘fantasy’ porn whereas I tend to watch more F/F and M/F as long as a woman orgasms basically.

I also am interested to hear on people’s thoughts of watching lesbian porn as a straight female, I am NOT telling people how to label and I do get a lot of MF porn is rather violent/not representative of an enjoyable experience for woman. I’m personally not bothered how someone chooses to label and tbh I think pigeonholing people isn’t productive when some use porn as an outlet of exploration.

Interestingly I don’t find penises attractive persay in porn/media (well not unattractive but I’m a bit indifferent) whereas irl as long as it’s someone I like lol I’m massively turned on by it but I think that’s more to do with the person I like than a penis

Side note: I also do massively get the projecting thing, like I have to watch porn where what they are doing I know I like irl and I can imagine and match the sensations and tbh I actually don’t care what the participants look like as long as it seems like it would be genuinely pleasurable.

I only realised last year, 7 years into my relationship that I was Bi (well technically I have known for many years, I just was scared to admit it - catholic upbringing). It’s definitely something that I eventually need to explore, and I think about it a lot and is one of the many factors contributing to my questioning of my relationship.

There are a lot of other issues, but also wonderful things about my relationship but I’m feeling quite lost with it all so wanted to reach out and get advice. Have you been through something similar or have any advice? What was it like when you did end something and then get to explore your bi-ness?

UPDATE- to be very clear, I have never cheated nor will I ever. It’s not a question of wanting to go sleep with a bunch of women to get it out of my system or anything, but rather exploring that side of myself and understanding myself better as I’ve spent my life very much in denial of who I was. Feeling the comfortability of being queer and being in the community.

I wish you could read a person’s mind because that would help me understand why people act the way they do. There’s a woman who I was interested in. I told her and she said she didn’t like me like that. I was like cool. Things seemed fine between us. Later (weeks and weeks later), she starts acting funny with me. Only speaking to me in private, but ignoring and distancing herself from me in public and around mutuals we have. I’m getting confused because for someone who claims to be my friend this is very odd behavior. I chalked it up to the fact that I had told her I was crushing on her in the past and maybe initially she didn’t care but now randomly she feels awkward. At this point I’m trying not to feed into my delusions that maybe she does like me and now it’s difficult for her to talk to me like how things were before. Anywho, she never says anything so I end up addressing it with her and she acts like we’re good and like she’s not acting any different. She continues to behave this way. At one point SHE asks if I want to grab a bite to eat with her. I’m thinking okay cool friends go out to eat all the time whatever. She continues to act weird with me though. Avoids eye contact when we’re around other people but has all the words in the world when it’s the two of us. We go out to eat and she pays for the both of us. There’s no flirting or odd behavior. At this point I want to address her behavior again but I’m not sure where to start or what to say. Other people know I’m queer so I’m not sure if that’s why she acts “embarrassed” to be around me or if she possibly did have feelings and she’s afraid of coming across as flirting or acting queer too around these other people. Like she’s afraid of it slipping out so she avoids me completely around others. I can sit and analyze all day but at the end of the day I don’t know what to do or say.

How should I address this with her? I already tried to talk with her about it in the past and she kind of blew it off. Something about the whole situation just wreaks of insecurity, whether it’s in her own sexuality or just the validators of our friendship. Friends don’t treat each other this way.

Long story short, Im a bi girl who has, up to this date, only dated woman, yet somehow this past few months I have been wondering what it would be like to date a men. I would never ever cheat on my current partner and I have expressed my curiosity to potentially/platonically date a men and she told me she would never be able to go back with me if I had 'it' with a men. Shes a lesbian so I get her perspective, she apologised for saying that but I still feel like I cant talk to her about my bisexuality. Honestly, I think Im afraid of never being able to experience dating a man if our relationship lasts 'forever.' But on the other hand, I know the situation would be the same even if it were reversed. So, what should I do to stop feeling guilty about it? Is there something I should say?

Me (23F) and my boyfriend (27M) started dating over a year ago. Before this, I was in a long distance relationship with a woman (we would meet once/twice a year for about 2 weeks). My boyfriend is a walking green flag, treats me well and is overall a very calm and good-hearted person. I'm satisfied with almost every aspect of our relationship, however, recently I've noticed I really started missing 'the touch of a woman'. I caught myself daydreaming and fantasizing about being with women, but only intimately. To be clear, I never cheated on him, I'm not cheating, I'm not going to be cheating on him ever and I don't fantasize about people I know. I also don't want to open the relationship. I feel like a shitty human being for this, and I wanted to talk with him about it. Do you think I'm a red flag? I don't want to lose him and I don't want him to think badly about me (or himself). Can any bi woman here, who was in this situation give me some advice? How to cope with this feeling?

TL;DR: I'm in a great heterosexual relationship but miss being with women intimately. Do I tell him or try to deal with this quietly by myself?

Alright, here we go.

I (33F) know for a fact the term demiromantic fits me, because it sums up every single crush I have ever had, and that's a queer identity. However, because for the longest time I only had crushes on guys, I assumed that I was, essentially, straight, demiromanticism aside.

Until recently when I started experimenting with something, and now I'm having doubts.

Most of my crushes have been on fictional characters. Most were male, one was female (though that could have been more admiration than a crush), two were non-binary but soft-masculine leaning. In terms of actual people I knew, all of my crushes offline were male (3 of them). I had two instances of online relationships, one with a guy, and one with a woman. Though with the woman, after we talked over text, and flirted a bit, I panicked at what this could mean for me, got cold feet, and ghosted her due to fearing not being straight. That was a few years ago.

But what really got me questioning was this: usually, I avoid erotica, especially visual erotica, as I find it gross and disgusting and avoid seeing it visually like the plague. But when it comes to reading, I started reading some erotica between characters I like, or a degree of self-insert fan fiction. Straight erotica, I feel a little hot about, kind of aroused (I think), but lesbian erotica that I read has me feel absolutely volatile—hot. dry mouth, much more discharge than straight erotica, the works. I feel really guilty that I feel this at all, but I'm unsure if it's legitimate attraction that I'm feeling or just something about the emotional fantasy, and that is might have no bearing on my sexuality in terms of real-life feelings. But thinking of that, coupled with that one woman I panicked over when we flirted over text...

Is this normal for a straight person to feel or am I a bi/pan woman miles deep in the closet?

helle, I'm f25 years old and I found out I was bi about two years ago when my boyfriend at the time asked me if I wanted to have a threesome with one of his friends (the result was that following this I left him to get into a relationship with his friend)
Since then I admit that it is pleasant to choose my partner according to my desires.

I (30F) have feelings for my close friend (29F) since school. We kissed one night when we were around 14, it was full on and for most of the night but never went further (probably both scared) we’d both only ever talked about boys so I was shocked, I’d kissed a few boys before her, I was my friends first (kiss). Before this night I considered myself straight could even say ‘boy crazy’. Realised later on in life I am bi. Nothing was said the next day, I assumed she wanted to forget it happened and embarassed, so it was never mentioned again (at least for a very long time) Long story short we both moved on from whatever that was but remained good friends, both dated men and had boyfriends and eventually kids. There has been times (usually drunk) where we have been close to kissing again, its always holding hands, being touchy, to people thinking we were together and shocked when we said we aren’t. I think theres always been a tension we’ve been too scared to explore. Fast forward to last year I started noticing an unusual energy from her, when I saw her she started hugging alot more and for longer, then we went out for drinks and the conversation went onto that night. it was nice to talk about it openly without being awkward. I asked her how she felt about it and she said it was a confusing time but didnt regret it, and said its weird because I dont fancy other women.. (👀) she carried on talking, I dont think she realised what she just sort of admitted, unless I’m reading into that. I said me neither, then there was a look between us.. less than an hr later we were kissing!! now I cant get her out of my head, my feelings are growing fast. I decided to tell her how I feel, she said shes straight and has never had feelings for me, but if she was to ‘be with a woman’ it would be me.

Now I am beyond confused, because what the fuck has all this even been about???

I know I'm bisexual. I know it deep inside my heart. I'm proud of being bisexual but sometimes it's tiring being bi. Especially when it comes to bi cycles. I'm someone who knew she liked women before she knew she liked men. When it comes to dating (or potentially marriage) I always choose women. My attraction to women feels more natural and more at home. It's so natural to the point where I automatically assume any woman who says she's taken is in wlw relationship. When it comes to my attraction to women I have no issues with it. My male attraction on the other hand is a different story. It's rarely there and when it is there it only stays for a few days, often time only for a day. This sucks for me because my self validation for my bisexuality relies on me showing attraction to both genders. If I don't find men attractive for a long period of time, my brain starts doubting my bisexuality. I have no intention in dating a man. It's not something I desire or need. I've recently realized something. I'm not attracted to real life men, rather to a concept of a man. What do I mean by this? Well, honestly I can't tell you because I don't fully understand it myself but I'll try to. Basically I like to only imagine having a boyfriend, preferably a genderless bi boyfriend where I'm dominant in relationship. Not dom as in the kink way but more like where both of us are equal. I've also realized that whenever I imagine myself having a boyfriend I imagine myself as my favorite WxM ship where I'm the girl in the ship (for example I ship Marina x Levi and I would imagine myself as Marina, sort of like roleplaying her? Maybe?). But once again these thoughts only last for a short period of time for like a day or two. I've even started to look at NSFW images of men and their privet parts and I feel absolutely nothing. No reaction, no anything, just nothing. I know I'm bi, I know it deep inside my heart. I'm just frustrated at how low my attraction to men is. I've even started hating myself for it. I'm considering maybe trying to sleep with a guy irl. Maybe seeing a dick in real life will give me a different reaction than seeing one online. Idk I just wish I was equally attracted to both genders. I went through such a hard time accepting my bisexuality, learning to finally accept it and my attraction towards men only for my male attraction to say "anyways imma head out". Like you can't just do that.

I’m 28F and realized I was bi/pan when I was 18. A year later, I began a relationship with a cis man who is still my current partner. We’ve been together for 8 years but I am thinking about leaving him (for reasons unrelated to my sexuality; overall unhappiness). My dating history (including him) is only two long-term relationships with cis men, and 6 sexual partners total, all of whom are also cis men.

I have never dated a woman or really had feelings for one, but I have had crushes. I was swiping and messaging a few women when I was using dating apps. Over time, I have realized my attraction to non-males (women in particular) is stronger than I initially realized but I never really experienced my first wlw moment/relationship.

I have been SO beyond disappointed in all of my relationships thus far that I am sincerely thinking of swearing off cis men completely. I have a wlw friend who now calls herself a lesbian, who has dated men when we were in high school but admitted that her romantic attraction is more toward women. I don’t think this is exactly what I might be experiencing, maybe an ignorant hopefulness that wlw/non-male + female relationships are less disappointing than male + female ones. Has anyone experienced something like this before?

I have never had sexual relations with a woman but I think I started to have feelings for my best friend and since I told her while I was high she hasn't talked to me since. But she wasn't really talking to me before hand. But I'm not sure if it's just been the Delta 10 screwing with my head or if I am in fact bi. I mean when I use the Delta 10 I have fantasies about fucking my married lesbian pastor and when I see her at church I have no feelings for her at all. Also, when I have a sexy hot women come up in my reels on Instagram whether I'm high or sober I have fantasies of fucking her too and I enjoy lesbian porn. So I guess, I think, I have answered my own question but please tell me how I can get over the feelings of being a disgusting piece of shit. I've only come out to a few people and even then it felt weird. My other question is should I or should I not ask my pastor if she's ever had any weird vibes from me as in if she felt I was ever flirting with her? Please, help!! I'm so confused. I do have to mention my hubby of 14 years has known I'm bi for years now!! He's very, very, very supportive of it. I on the other hand hate myself for it and have been hiding/misusing/addicted to Delta 10 which I'm in the process of trying to give up!! Thanks for reading

I just need to complain for a sec. My queer-hating mom used to say with disgust, "why are they (queer ppl) trying to shove their sexuality down our throats." Now as an adult when I hear any person say that I am filled with the rage of a billion suns and want to shove a rainbow megaphone down their throats and SCREAM into it, "YOU FUCKING BLIND-ASS IGNORANT RODENT-BRAINED NUTSACK OF A HUMAN! YOU STRAIGHTS are the ones who shove your sexuality down the throats of queer children. Straight people shove heterosexuality on queer people SO hard that they shame queer kids into killing themselves and try to make it illegal to exist (get married, have kids, adopt, take a shit in peace in public bathrooms, etc.) for those of us queer people who are still around! You shove YOUR sexuality down OUR throats by telling us God hates us and we're freaks of nature and we'll rot in hell for existing the way God/the universe made us just to turn around and accuse us of shoving our sexuality on your kids for being married or wearing a rainbow shirt grocery shopping!" And then leave my rainbow megaphone in their throats so they can actually for once ever get a glimpse of what it feels like to have had someone shove something down their throat. Edit: fixed a typo

Thank you for letting me complain. I needed that.

What color megaphone would you shove down a hateful insufferable straight person's throat?

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Earlier today I walked into the cutest coffeeshop and made friends with two ladies that worked there. We began to talk about life and sexuality and they really made it a safe space for me to discuss who I truly am. Growing up in the south, I never put a label on it because it was one of those things you didn’t discuss in my small town. I am learning to love the many facets of myself. #bisexual 🏳️‍🌈

So I (17) do not have any experience with men or women. I recently started going out on friday evenings with a friend (17), who identifies as straight and has a boyfriend. We were drunk for all of the following: The first time we went out we got talking about bisexuality and I asked her if she thinks she's 100% straight, because I get vibes from her and she once told me she had a crush on a childhood girlfriend. She answered that she would not kiss a woman if she was sober, but would consider it if she was drunk. The next time we went out we were siting at the table with a guy and a girl and we asked them to take pictures of as with my friends' digital camera. The guy started cheering us on to kiss for the picture, he and the girl had been doing the same earlier. We both leaned in, then simultaneously hesitated, then simultaneously decided to hell with it let's just do it and then I decided no this is wrong and turned my face. The end result is a picture of her giving me a kiss on the cheek. I do find her physically attractive and I would kiss her under different circumstances, but my instinct told me not to because A: she has a boyfriend, I don't know if it's just my bisexual brain but I consider this cheating B: kissing because a man cheered us on C: i feel uncomfortable with the idea of kissing in order for her to try out her sexuality I get that impression because afterwards, the dude asked me if I was bi (I don't know what gave it away since it was me who blocked the kiss). I asked him back and he said he's straight no, but he would like to make out with a dude one day just to be sure. My friend answered "same". When we were walking home (she was staying at my place) we talked about it again and she said it's normal to kiss between friends. I just blocked the conversation because my alcohol brain was to slow to process. In general I have the feeling that our friendship has goten a lot more intense and touchy over the last few months and I think if we would ever end up in such a situation again, we might actually end up kissing. I tend to over interpret things, but I do feel like all of this is significant especially compared to the relationship I have with another female friend, who would never in a million years consider kissing me and vice versa. So what should I do? Should I just let it go? Should I talk to her about it? I don't want to make things more akward. Any general opinions? Excuse all mistakes, english is not my first language.

Hey there! I'm a bi F (30) who's only been in relationships with men till now. I de like to explore my sexuality with women more, however I'm in an open relationship and I'm not really into dating and the sort at the moment. I'm really just interested in having sexual experiences... Is there like a female version of Grindr for lesbian/bi women ?

In part I think it's just misogyny, with the idea that women simply aren't allowed to be desired carnally by anyone but a straight man or that women must be "pure."

I also think there's some misguided feminist idea that it's objectifying and therefore misogynistic and bad.

I kind of get a little jealous seeing how carelessly gay men point out what they find attractive, sexually/physically, in other men. I think it's reaaaally hard to find this in bisexual spaces towards women. I feel like everyone is afraid to come off as a sexual predator towards women or as just shallow. I also feel like when what people find attractive about women does come up, it's always pretty gender conforming stuff. What I mean is like, women have to be clean shaven everywhere, be "pretty," and it's always about how soft/gentle/loving women are. Meanwhile gay men will be like, "I LIKE COCK" or straight men will be like "I LOVE BOOBS."

Like why is women being attracted to women so de-sexualized and about following gender norms about women being demure and "the fairer sex" so to speak lmao. It's such an illusion. Guess what... I know what you are... I know you fart and I bet you've had diarrhea at least once in your life.

Not to start a conspiracy or anything, but it's really strange that a woman in her natural state (has body hair, doesn't wear makeup, doesn't style hair with any heat/products) is seen as so unattractive by a massive amount of people, both straight and lesbian/bisexual. But men aren't as unfairly judged for being in their natural state.

I know, I know, just surround yourself with different people or whatever. But it does kinda make me sad to see that the general culture doesn't really admire women's bodies until it's time for straight men to fuck them, and even then it's not their bodies that are really being admired but how their bodies fulfill men's needs.

Like bruhh how are women so objectified yet not sexualized in a genuine way at the same time. Am I crazy or am I crazy or am I crazy? what do you guys think??

Welcome to r/BiWomen's fortnightly discussion megathread. Talk about anything and everything!

While conversation topics can deviate from bisexuality, make sure to familiarise yourself with and follow rules 1 through to 5.

Enjoy! ♡

I still can't fully figure out if I'm bisexual or not.

I'm a girl and I've had a few relationships with guys, but I've never felt strong emotions. I thought things would change over time, but they haven't. I was intimate with them (not actual sex), but I didn't feel anything, while they seemed very involved. Only occasionally a few passionate kisses gave me some pleasant sensations, but nothing else. After breaking up with my last boyfriend, the attraction I felt two years ago for the same girl is returning, and it's stronger. We attend the same university course, so we see each other every day and in the last few months there has been a mutual closeness.

In general, I can imagine myself with guys both romantically and sexually, but I don't understand why I've never felt this way around my exes. I wonder if it's just the idea of ​​having to be a certain way, as society expects. As for girls, since I've never had any experience, I don't know if I see myself romantically or sexually with a girl, but I'm sure I'd like to find out.

Can you help me understand?

So i've recently realized that im in love with my bestfriend. But the more i see it . It's like im in love with the IDEA of her not the actual person . Because truth be told we don't spend that much time together in real life . It's all over text . And even in text it's always me who puts more effort in connecting.

So i feel like all this love is for the idea of what we could have especially because she's the only person who knows i like women . It's like i took the comfort i have with her and ran with it and built something entirely on shaky grounds .

I don't know what to do with myself or her for that matter .

What do i do to stop feeling this ? Especially because im hurt by her lack of effort in our friendship.

This was word vomit im sorry but please help . 🧍‍♀️

I'd like to introduce myself to you all. I've known that I'm bisexual since the age of 13, and I'm 42 now.

Being bisexual in Bosnia is very lonely for me. I have 2 daughters and I'm a single mum with 2 unsuccessful heterosexual marriages behind me. I don't really go out much so not much opportunity to meet other bi or lesbian women. As for local online communities, there's practically none, or at least I haven't managed to find them. But I'm not giving up, as I really long for connecting with other women like me.

This is why I'm so happy to be a part of this community. In my country there's still a lot of stigma, but I've always been open about myself. I'm a very unconventional person so I'm used to being stigmatized, marginalized etc. But, this has taught me a valuable lesson in life.

So, instead of staying silent, I openly share that I'm bi with people I encounter. This way I know if they are a valuable presence in my life. The ones that get scared of me or judgemental towards me, are not my people. And the ones that are open and accepting, are my kind of folks.

Life has been a Rollercoaster and I have learned to value myself, my wellbeing and my time, and to carefully choose my people, my battles and life experiences I give my attention and energy to.

I look forward to meeting you and getting to know the amazing women that you all are. 💗💜💙

I am 39F who have been more or less openly bi since I was 20 years old to a close circel of pepole. I only have had one sexual encounter with a women in my early twenties. I have been with the same man since 2009 and he knew from the very beginning about my sexual orientation.

I got really sick a couple of years ago and one big reason ( I think ) is because I had so much anxiety around my sexuality. Now one at my workplace back then new about my sexuality and it was causing me huge amount of anxiety and I was really scared that pepole would find out about my sexual orientation. I also had stress factors like trauma and my upbringing causing mental health issues and I think it was the stress that made me sick with a really bad infection.

I am not completely healed from that infection and I am starting to think that mabey me not being really open to the world about my sexuality and in a relationship with a women is still causing lot of stress in the bodyl. And that this stress is preventing me from not becoming pregnant.

I am a bit confused in general about my sexuality because the attraction I feel towards men and women are different.

I mostly just watch lesbian porn because I am really turned on by women and watching het porn just don't do the same thing for me. But, if I meet a man that I am attracted to I can have really intense and good orgasms when I masturbate. Almost more intense than when I watch lesbian porn. I can't just fantasize about a random man I see on the street though, I need some kind of emontional connection to the man.

I have never ever fantasized about a women I meet in actual life and I feel like I get more crushes on men. Which feels strange to me, because I find women more attractive.

Is it just society that has programmed me from not being able to fantasize about women that I meet in actual life? And this also prevents me from having crushes on them. I can feel that a woman is really beautiful that I meet in real life but I very rearly feel any sexual attraction to her.

I just feel so confused. How can the orgasms be so much more intense when I fantasize about men although I generally find women more attractive?

Thank you if you read the hole tread!

I am at a cross-road because me and my partner has started the IVF process and we have egg in the freezer. If I break up with him there is no chanse that I can do IVF on my own and my biological clock is ticking really fast...Still, I am wondering if my symptoms from the infection became chronic because I should be in a relationship with a woman.

Saw a different post about a discord for "married" bi women and it was clearly for women married to men. I've noticed a lot of bisexuals on reddit (regardless of gender) use "married" as shorthand for "in a heterosexual pairing". It is so alienating.

ETA for the confused and deliberately obtuse: the post said it was for married bisexual women to "explore" same-gender attraction. Women who are married to women, who also fall under the category of "married", have already "explored" same-gender partnerships. When someone says "married", but contrasts it with "exploring" the same gender, it is logically inconsistent to married bisexual women. This is part of a larger pattern in bi communities of assuming that all of us are in het partnerships. Bi women in het pairings often complain about being rejected, "invisible", or "erased", as bisexuals, but do the exact same thing to those of us in WLW relationships. The only difference is that same-gender relationships are under attack and man-woman relationships are not.

Hi, I always knew I liked women, even before I knew I liked men but the one thing I've been really struggling with when it comes to dating women is my inate desire to be a mother. Like I don't have many ambitions in live but the one thing I'm sure of is that I want to be mum. I feel like because of this I struggle to be with women even though I knew there are options of becoming a mother without there being a man involved. Also a lot a lesbians I meet are against having children entirely so I find my self struggling to relate to them. I guess I just want to know if there are other queer women struggling with this.

Throughout my (27F) life I have always been in relationships with women. My parents always knew and while my dad handled it well, my mom pretended she didn’t know about it and that it wasn’t happening. My mom’s side of the family also knew and took the same approach of not commenting, pretending they didn’t know, and acting as if I didn’t have a love life.

However, a few years ago I started dating a man and the moment my mom found out she began asking about him, showing interest in the relationship, and some family members did the same. This upset me a lot and I still haven’t introduced my boyfriend to the family (besides my mom) because it infuriates me that I couldn’t introduce my two exes. I feel like they treat me as if I’m straight and think it was just a phase.

I live my life normally but I have constant thoughts of coming out, saying to their faces that I like women, making comments about it, etc. It's horrible when there's a prohibited topic and even more when this topic is your sexuality. I feel like I spend a lot of mental energy on this and wanted to know if anyone else has gone through this and how they dealt with it.

Sharing is caring, but caring should not be sacrificing, so I am sharing this post that I have written because we have been living in an unsustainable and exploitative patriarchal worldwide reality that constantly tries to condition, shame, pressure, coerce, manipulate, gaslight and even brainwash everyone, especially more feminine people, from a very early age, to not value our own existence.

That often makes us believe that we ought, if not need, to sacrifice our bodies, needs and freedoms for heteronormative monogamy in order to prove with acts of service that we love who we care about to the point that we often burn ourselves to keep comfortable who we care about.

Romanticized sacrifices for intimacy are part of a pattern that repeats in different ways across the diverse and broad relationship spectrum of connections:

People often pursue committed emotionally intimate relationships that are monoamorous or monogamous because they desire exclusivity.

People often pursue committed emotionally intimate relationships that are polyamorous or polygamous but closed somehow because they desire fidelity instead of exclusivity.

People often pursue committed emotionally intimate relationships that are polyamorous or polygamous and open but hierarchical because they desire prioritization instead of fidelity or exclusivity.

People often pursue committed emotionally intimate relationships that are open and non-hierarchical but polyamorous or polygamous because they desire devotion instead of prioritization, fidelity or exclusivity.

People often pursue emotionally intimate relationships that are open and anarchical but committed because they desire dedication instead of devotion, prioritization, fidelity or exclusivity.

People often pursue emotionally intimate relationships that are open and anarchical because they desire care instead of dedication, devotion, prioritization, fidelity or exclusivity.

Deep down the desires for exclusivity, fidelity, loyalty, submission, prioritization, devotion, dedication or commitment there is a common need for someone to care to share their own body, energy, attention, time, money and other valuable limited natural resources with you.

I really hope that sharing this as food for thoughts helps at least someone out there to figure out what you really need in relation to relations, because is more useful to focus on figuring out and communicating openly and honestly the different types of needs that orientate us towards different types of connections, instead of focusing on label words that restrict and limit individuals and connections from changing.

What matters more is to be careful to not set up someone, including yourself, for a misunderstanding, disappointment and unfulfillment if someone can not read minds and you do not use words precisely to ask for what you need and want specifically with straightforward honest communication when negotiating informed consent to anything.

I also highly recommend taking time to define what words, like "exclusivity", "fidelity", "loyalty", "submission", "prioritization", "devotion", "dedication", "commitment", "care", "responsibility", "accountability", "consent", among others, mean specifically to each of you before giving to anything consent that really is informed, because you may find yourself surprised at the existence of as many different perspectives as different individuals exist.

You also should remind yourself that commitments alongside configurations can be contextualized and recontextualized in a customizable way so connections can be free to be as fluid as emotions can be, because everyone should always have the valid right to freely change at any moment how they approach their ways of interacting with other beings in the world around them.

That means that you should organize and structure your social life as a whole however your needs and wants orientate you, because is not possible to love consensually genuinely if you do not have the freedom to stop consenting to anything at any moment, in the sense that consent is constantly being given at every new moment each of all of us shares an experience together with someone instead of unlimited.

What do you specifically need and want about intimate connections?