Hi everyone! I need your help ... kind of to ... How to define myself

So as a context: for the past weeks, I have more and more questioning the idea of gender in terms of "there is man and women" more and more. I came to realize a while ago that gender is a spectrum and not a yes/no-ish thing. Since then, I came to realize that I maybe don't really see myself as a "100% man" at all. Furthermore, the idea of "gender" itself is weird to me now... Don't get me wrong, I don't expect anymore to see it that way and I know that most don't see it that way, but I just can't see genders anymore... Only... Individuals? If that makes sense.

The thing I am struggling is, that I can't really define any of it really... Like I couldn't say "I am x-% man" or something. I definitely would use male pronouns, I certainly dress more masculine, but I love stuff that - at least the public eye - sees at "feminine".

Anyways, I also don't really want to be a "real man" anymore, too, because the more "alpha males" I see the more disgusting it is to me and the more I don't want to be a "real" cis man.

So my question or the help I need is... Is there like a label or anything to describe me in this?

I hope it's okay that I ask. Also, I don't want to offend anyone. If I did, I apologize and am sorry ♥️

Hi y'all!

I've been questioning my gender a TON recently. I'm AMAB and I've never really thought about being another gender until a bit ago. As past me put it, "I could be JUST masculine but acting and being feminine feels so freeing and natural."

I'm seriously lost as to where I fit and if it's all just something my subconscious made up without me noticing. I thought that I might be Bigender because I often exhibit both stereotypically feminine and masculine traits, but I'm not sure if that's the proper label. Because gender isn't a very identifiable "feeling", I've been super confused as to how to tell if I'm actually any of the things that I've thought I might've been.

Any help is much, much, MUCH appreciated. Thanks! If I've accidentally said something offensive, PLEASE tell me what I did wrong.

https://preview.redd.it/7nn90pvv8xuc1.png?width=1090&format=png&auto=webp&s=fad550babf47f8d14d7d53b92dd66efcced1521a

These are screenshots from a satirical dutch news channel. This happened about a year ago. People were complaining that stairs in some schools were painted rainbow, so in protest the studio decided to paint the table (that is in every episode) a rainbow. They kept it like that for the entirety of the season (about 5 episodes). This was on national telivision.

https://preview.redd.it/adgzuw2t8xuc1.png?width=1035&format=png&auto=webp&s=8a053c3ac962a4c76c9ec93b054ac3ab29c7b34c

I work at a library that is going to do a pride event! Does anyone have ideas for activities? They don’t necessarily just have to be for children but I’m trying to think of different activities for both adults and kids.

So I'm a trans person from an African country where it's illegal to be trans or gay or anything except for straight , do you perhaps know any communities or association that provides assistance or aid for LGBTQ members , I need it badly , I can't anymore with this and plz the option of going out is not possible right now cuz if you don't know it's expensive and not accessible for everyone.thank you .

I’m not sure if I should post this here but I will anyway.

I identify as non-binary but I’m pretty sure I’m Toric (enby attracted to men). I’ve had some childhood trauma (which I will not mention) that has affected how I feel about men. I still have crushes on men, but I cannot see myself in a romantic or sexual relationship with them. I think that’s because I’m not “in love” with them. I’ve only felt love for one person and that person left me and never told me why. The childhood trauma part of my life very shortly after this so I’m not sure if it was the person leaving me or the trauma I had went through but it was one of those. Since then I stopped feeling love for men, it’s just that brain reaction when you like someone, but I can’t imagine dating them or having intimacy with them. I fall in love easily and I think that may be because I want to be in love. I'm drifting off topic but what I'm trying to say is that I like men but cannot see/want a romantic or sexual relationship with men. I do, however, want a sexual and romantic relationship with women. The issue is that I don't have romantic of sexual feelings for women. I don't like women in that way but want/perfer to be in a relationship with a woman and I've been in this crisis for a while. My friend doesn't understand and they just say I'm bi but I don't think I am or my situation.

So my friend recently realized he's gay. He thought bi but realizes women just never did it for him altho he has tried. Well he says he thinks he's a bottom just simply because the idea intrigued him. I told him to try it, well he did with his boyfriend ( it's his first boyfriend and was there first time having sex ) but came back more confused.

Apparently he enjoyed the fuck out of it and was able to finish really easy but he did not understand why he couldn't keep an errection. I told him since I am also a bottom ( altho I'm a trans woman ) that liking something, being aroused, and having an erecting are not the same thing. I don't maintain an erecting either usually at first I have one but it goes away but I am solely a bottom for guys. He then asked if it's different since I'm Trans I said I haven't been on hormones yet so no I dont think so. Long story short he's really confused and I'm laughing while typing this ( I know some people do keep elections for extended periods while bottoming but I also know it's not mandatory to enjoy or be a bottom ).

As the title states, this post is regarding being a content creator and all the hate comments that come along with it. And I would like to have some advice on it, and maybe some support if anyone is willing to help, bcos this is slowly becoming quite disturbing for me.

Warning: homophobia, transphobia, d*ath threats mentioned

I have recently been posting music content on instagram (song covers, little trends/skits related to music), and have been receiving a lot of hate comments. But these comments have nothing to do with the actual content of my posts at all, which is why I am quite annoyed by it.

I have a few videos where you can see a pride flag in the background, and for some reason it seems to keep attracting the wrong audience aka homophobes/transphobes. I never had any intent on “spreading political ideologies” whatsoever. The only thing i care about when creating content is the actual music itself, the flag just happens to be in the bg.

My comments sections are flooded with homophobic comments who are mostly assuming that I’m trans (I am not trans, though there’s nothing wrong with bring trans). It’s annoying to me because it’s drawing all the attention away from the actual music content.

These comments range from a bunch of middle finger emojis to straight up d*ath threats in my dms. I don’t feel offended by the comments, but I believe it’s messing up the platform’s algorithm because majority of the comments are filled with homophobes, and I think that might be sending the wrong signal to the algorithm, and it’s making the algorithm push my posts to even more homophobes bcos it appears that they are the ones that engage with my posts the most.

Does anyone have any advice on how I can redirect the reach of my posts to a more desired audience? Aka people who are actually interested in music and are not there to question my gender or sexuality.

Side note: a bunch of my friends and supporters have reported these comments and accounts, I have also personally blocked and deleted comments on my end, but instagram isn’t taking them down and I’m confused why this is the case, i.e. why are the comments still visible to others even after I have blocked and deleted the comments?

(Except her breasts in full shots. A minor laugh riot came about last Christmas when she was on the cover and a minor politician genius from the "fun" part of the sile took a Photo of the cover and accused them wokes forctrsnding the Phantom. Silly fucker.

a little context: My parents are very blatantly right leaning, I live in the Bible belt (and my parents are Christian), I am still in late high school, I am bisexual and mtf (pre everything)

I can tell that my parents can tell I am bothered relatively often, and they give me the same statement of "you can tell us anything, we will always support you. if you're happy then we are happy" but frankly, based on other actions and things they've said, it just doesn't feel true whatsoever. I've heard both of them use the word "gay" like it is a bad thing, only ever refer to trans people with "t----y" or at the nicest "transsexual" but with a bitter tone behind it, and I've heard "f----t" from my dad quite a bit too. I have a part of me that believes that if I came out to them then they may realize that their views are flawed on so many levels and if they did do so then I could maybe start my transition and be happier with myself as a whole. Though of course that feels unlikely. Coming out also feels increasingly urgent because I can't deal with all of the body dysphoria I have anymore. So this all boils down to the actual question I'd like advice on. What course of action should I take? Attempting coming out? Staying closeted until I am independent? Something else? small side note if this helps: I know one person in real life that I am out to (although she is in a very similar situation to me :/) and my entire online presence is my preferred name and identity.

I've been battling a lot of depression and dysphoria lately this last year. I felt arousal still but it was much weaker and only like once a month for a couple days for some reason.

But this last week I've figured out a lot about myself. I learned my sexuality, who I'm romantically attracted too, and I learned to impose myself and not be so submissive.

For some reason this has made me libido increase 10 fold and I feel it so strongly every day, why?

I'm not sure why it feels so strong now? Will the feelings die down again or will they stay? I like how I feel now, like a lot.

I (21F) have been in a relationship with my bf (22M) for almost two years now, and it's been my first actual relationship in my life. Its been good, even great at times, but has stagnated and felt unsatisfying for the past 6 months (if not longer now that I think about it). I've talked with close family and friends to try and figure out what is wrong with myself or the relationship, but nothing has quite solved the issue. We've had various issues in the bedroom, some of which have required repetitive medical attention on my end (e.g. pain during sex, vaginal tearing, etc etc). I've tried different kinds of birth control, we've moved in together, spent periods apart, gone through difficult conversations (almost breaking up in one, but feeling to bad to leave), and there is still something that doesn't feel quite right.

I've considered myself as bisexual for most of my adult life, and I've always considered women attractive - it's never been an issue for me. I've been comfortable with that label until now when I start analyzing my relationship. The more I read online, the more I'm thinking that I am not actually Bi and am actually a lesbian (e.g. the "Lesbian Masterdoc" (even if it is controversial to some) and "Compulsory Heterosexuality and the Lesbian Experience" by Adrienne Rich to name a couple). There are a lot of things looking back that make more sense when looked at through that lense. I even crushed on girls in highschool, and never once thought about it. But I can't personally be sure until I've actually explored that facet of my sexuality.

I still really like my bf, and he's one of the greatest people I've ever met. We've done things together that I will never forget, and he has helped me to become who I am today (without a shadow of a doubt). However, intimacy and closeness just doesn't feel the same anymore. It's hard bringing this up to him, as his abusive ex left him for similar reasons. We live together, have the same friend group, go to the same classes in university, are officers for the same uni club, etc etc. Breaking up would be really hard and very messy, as we would see and interact often. Additionally, we are on a lease for the next year.

I dont know what to do or how to approach the issue in anyway, so if you have advice or thoughts please let me know. I feel utterly helpless and lost at the moment.

So I kinda think I might be by I mean I know I like guys at least I think I do..but lately I’ve been thinking about me with women to but I don’t know for sure if I’m bi so…. I guess i kinda need advice how do I know for sure like how did you know for sure

If it helps I’ve never been with a guy or a woman before

22 years old here. After I graduate, their ultimatum was if I don’t go to therapy, they won’t support me anymore and I’ll be on my own. Obviously I’m not going to go, but I wanted to see if there was any dirt on them.

https://www.purelifeministries.org/residential

Soilers and Trigger Warning:

The rape scene / scenes and his thoughts seem very honest and horrifying.

These are discussions I've had with friends - my history is not like the main character's but in random hook-ups I couldn't help but be a buzzkill and ask guys about their own seemingly self destructive history.

It's worrying because these are good men who seem to be hurting themselves but they say it's all fun.

Do you guys have a favourite thing about being queer or trans? I love being a lesbian because WOMEN, NON BINARY, GENDER QUEER PEOPLE😍😍 I love when you can find a community either in person or online with a bunch of other people like me XD I love being trans/non binary because I like how free my gender feels, and I like being no gender at all. What do you guys love most about your LGBTQ2S+ identity?

hi guysss i'm writing something about representation in media for class, and bc i'm a huge nerd i wanted to mention video games somehow. I wanted to know if you guys think that being able to romance any character regardless or their or the player's gender should be regarded as inclusion ?

also drop some games with good lgtbq rep plsss

I first heard about project 2025 maybe 6 months ago and it scared me so bad that I stopped reading into it. Now I’m hearing of it again but I’m wondering, is TikTok exaggerating this or will project 2025 actually happen? What will actually happen?

Im 18f and I feel so powerless in this, I’m scared for myself but more so for other people. Abortion rights were already taken away and it can only get worse from here.

(skip ahead to third paragraph if you don't want background info) So I came out to my parents about a year ago and they didn't take it well. Basically they decided that they wouldn't be helping me with college tuition after that. I didn't pick a very cheap school; I got some scholarship money, but it was still pretty expensive. My family has been pretty poor as I grew up, but they told me they had money for college set aside.

Anyway, it's been like this for a year now. They already covered my first year of school, but I came out over the summer before my second year, and they decided not to help me. Now I'm almost at the end of my second year. I've been working my ass off all year, almost 40 hours a week plus 18 credits, but it doesn't matter. The tuition is simply too much. I currently owe 11k, and it's going to get significantly worse next year, because I lost my job that had my included housing, and had to get a newer job that only covers around half my housing.

Anyway, here's the meat of the story. I have been trying for this entire semester to talk to someone and get some sort of scholarship. I've applied to a ton of the ones you can find online, but there's no point. I'm never going to win when I'm competing with thousands of other students. I've went and talked to my advisor, to financial aid, to my college, the student advocacy center, etc. I have told them my situation. I have told them I am not receiving money from my parents, and to please not judge my tuition off it, but they don't care. I have to have lived in my state for 12 months without going to any university for them to consider me as independent, which I haven't.

I sit there and I tell them my situation. I cry almost every time. I tell them I'm putting every single bit of my measly paychecks towards tuition, and I am. I don't have shampoo. I don't have clothes that fit. I don't have detergent. I literally cannot afford it because of tuition. And every time, I get a blank stare, and they tell me to file for an emergency loan worth $500.

I cannot continue. I feel so disgusting and worthless when I go in to tell yet another person I've been disowned for being gay and can they please adjust my tuition because I can't afford to eat and they just do not care. It is so demoralizing and saddening. I cried for like two solid hours. I have no idea what to do. I've already taken out a lot of loans to get it down to this number. I've talked to everyone who i know to talk to. I owe so much money that now they have locked my account and I can't register for more classes.

All of my friends are here and so are my jobs. My major is very specific and this university has one of the only programs for my major in the world so I really do not want to leave. But I just don't know what to do. I'm on the verge of being homeless. I'll be able to attend here next semester because I have my housing in place and was able to register for classes before they locked my account. But by that point I'll owe close to 30k in tuition and there is no way I can pay it off.

I guess I'm not really looking for advice because idk if anyone has been in this situation. I'm just tired and so sad. Literally nobody here cares. I can tell them I can't afford anything and I'm getting ready to be homeless until I'm blue in the face and they don't care. I am aware this school has a ton of extra money which is the shitty part. They just don't see me as worthy enough to receive any :(

I'm making a resource list and haven't been able to find much. Most of what I have found is related to internalized homophobia and transphobia. Those are important, but I'd like to find some stuff on the other ways homophobia and transphobia can be impactful or traumatic, and what folks can do to address them.

CW: mental health problems, toxic family

Hi. I’m 18m and autistic (diagnosed last summer).

When I was younger my mum married an awful man. His family basically excluded me from everything and made me feel like a burden for existing. I was always the ‘problem kid’ who ruined things for people because I got anxious. I was forgotten on family Christmas cards, bullied a lot. It wasn’t great. After an incident when I was 12 that horrible man left my mum and I have a new stepdad who’s a lot better. I’m not close with my family and struggle to be around them. We aren’t really close at all and don’t spend any time together.

Basically, I’ve always been a hypochondriac. I know with autistic people it can be common to be averse to physical touch, but this is a lot more. I physically feel like everything is too dirty. I’ve basically been eating junk food because I cannot stand cooking. It’s embarrassing. I enjoy food a lot but the cutlery, the plates, the sink, it feels disgusting. I wash my hands about 3-4 times when making very small microwaved meals and don’t enjoy the food.

When I had the horrible stepdad, his family were really disgusting. Once I dropped a lollipop I was eating, and he picked it up off the ground and licked it to ‘clean it’. He called me wuss when I wouldn’t eat it. I was about 7. My old stepbrother once put my toothbrush in the toilet. He would also share chewing gum with people (as in would chew the gum, then spit it out and someone else would eat it). The last thing is more of a ‘you do you but gross’ but the first things directly impacted me.

I literally cannot even touch people now. I haven’t hugged my mother in years.

I feel really bad because it’s getting worse and it feels like something is wrong with me.

I’m not receiving any support for my autism and it’s taken months just to get a starter appointment. I am mostly on my own with this stuff. I’ve tried talking to friends about it but none of them can relate.

What is wrong with me? How do I overcome this? I’m trying to get consistent therapy but I’m not having too much luck.

I love affection, but I feel physically averse to it. It almost feels like a phobia. I want to get a boyfriend and hug and kiss but I genuinely feel like I can’t. I feel like I’ve conditioned myself to be disgusted by everything. I feel really shitty like it’s my fault I’m like this.

Sorry if this post doesn’t have much of a focus-point. I just feel like an alien lol

I'm from a queerphobic country so I don't know, when I asked him about it he said it's for mood sleep and appetite. Do I take the medicine or not. Please can someone whose in this field for the community give some advice.

I dropped my hematite rainbow pendant and it broke in two 😫 I managed to glue it back together, and I am liking the symbolism of wearing my broken gay heart, since I had one already 💔

So I’m 20, single, and still living with my parents. My whole life I knew I wasn’t straight and over the last few years I discovered that I was a lesbian. But I’m so afraid to come out to the point where I’ve put myself in a situation where I would be okay if I never came out.

My mom is great and she has supported me the best she could throughout my life I’m very grateful to have her but sometimes she’s very judgemental towards things related to the lgbtq+ community. She’ll make offensive comments and judge people from afar and it really makes me uncomfortable. She’s never been rude to anyone to their face, it’s always behind closed doors and she swears she isn’t homophobic and passes those comments off as jokes but I’m not fully convinced. I do get confused though because my whole life, pretty much all my friends were part of this community and she’s been accepting of them. But when it comes to me being a part of it she doesn’t seem keen on the idea.

For example, we’ll be watching a movie/a show where there are let’s say a gay couple or someone who is trans and she’ll often make a remark and turn to me and ask in almost a disturbed manner “you’re not gay, are you?” Or “you don’t think you’re a boy do you?” And I never feel safe telling her the truth about my sexuality. Not to mention she often says things like “I know my daughter, I know she’s straight, and she’ll find a nice husband one day” and it always icks me so bad.

I also have been doing drag seriously for the past few months and this also gets her very judgemental of me because she thinks that they’ll (the other drag artists) “change me” and it sort of hurts my feelings because this is something I’m very passionate about and the fact that doesn’t seem to support me but has supported my friends no matter what happened is kind of hurtful. And I don’t know what to do.

I dated a girl for two years and the min reason why it didn’t workout was because she didn’t want to be secret forever and I think that completely valid and I want to be proud that I have a girlfriend, you know? Not afraid. Some people have told me to cut her off but I don’t think that it’s necessary, she’s never been bad to me other than this so it seems unreasonable but maybe I’m wrong? I just don’t know what to do… any advice would be appreciated and feel free to ask questions too about anything.

Thank you 💕

As the title says, my gf of 6 months broke up w me because she couldn’t keep on living with the idea that she was sinning and would go to hell. This happened two weeks ago and we’ve tried to do no contact, but i broke it a few times and she did too. Im hurting so bad rn, she left me out of nowhere, didnt do a bit of foreshadowing or anything. It was a complete shock. We had the healthiest relationship, monogamous and caring.

She said that if god didnt exist and she did the “sacrifice of breaking up with me” for nothing, she would kill herself because she left the best thing that happened to her for jesus and his miracles. She hopes that she made the right decision but I think she deeply regrets it and said that she could never live without god, in addition, she said that she couldn’t “fight” for me, and thinks she’s saving me from hell too.

Im not really religious but I did my best to understand and support her.

I do feel like she threw in the trash all the effort and love we gave eachother, but im not mad at her at all, i still love her. Now we agreed not to talk at all, but i think about her all day long and find her in every song i listen to.

How can i get over her? im really sad and i miss her.

Hi guys. I’ve had a debate with a few people and we each have varying opinions, and I wanted to hear more perspectives.

Can bi people say the f-slur?

Does it depend on sex? (Men can, women can’t)

Who they’re dating? (Wlw, hetero)

Just wanting perspectives.