Call your freshly elected representatives and senators to advocate for our causes in the house and senate. We had historic elections this year, placing women and minorities for the first time in congress for certain states. And we have the first openly trans woman there as well.

Make the government work for us. We can sit here and kvetch till the cows come home, but action breeds results. Unite under our government and remind them of the people they're supposed to represent. Don't let them sideline us.

I'm scared too, but I'd rather do something about it for the scores of us that can't or who can't leave to a blue state or Canada.

Stay strong ❤️‍🔥 Lots of Love

I'm just going to be asking a few questions because I might be gender fluid. how do you tell your gender changed? Does wanting to present more masc one day and then fem the next have anything to do with gender fluidity? Does only having chest disphorya some days and not others have to do with gender fluidity? I you Abel to be gender fluid but not really expirenc being completely a girl/boy? It never feels like I'm completely a girl or boy but sometimes I do feel a bit more connection to fem/masc genders? Sorry if these are worded in a confusing way.

I’m a 21yr old ace lesbian & work at a restaurant. The owner has a 16yr old daughter who’s gotten close to me since she likes to study with me & to trade info dumps about random topics while I’m working. Her dad is a really good guy, but he’s a bit older and they’re from China so he’s slightly open to lgbt stuff (half the ppl who work here are lgbt) but he doesn’t understand it.

His daughter told me she doesn’t know if she’s AroAce or something else & her parents dk she’s questioning. She keeps asking questions on how to tell if she really is, or if it’s her age/inexperience. I’ve mentioned she can look at resources online, but she said they can be confusing or unhelpful.

I’m not rly comfortable talking about this with her, it feels like a convo to have with her parents bc it revolves around sexual attraction- but I understand she can’t ask her parents about it. Just asking for general advice ig or if anyone has better resources.

With the recent developments here in the USA. I live in a red state that is basically all conservative republicans. And I usually have a couple pride pins I wear just day to day. But now honest I'm kinda scared to. Is there discreet things I can wear that would not be recognized by someone outside of the community.

I know this is a long shot, but I think it's worth a try. 1) check to see if your mail in ballot was counted. 2) contact MSNBC to investigate how many mail in ballots were counted before calling a state.

I can't help but feel a sense of sadness when I compare the current state of the LGBTQ+ community to what it was like several decades ago.

As we see a rise in populist and far-right movements worldwide, I'm increasingly concerned about how vulnerable the LGBTQ+ community might be in the face of potential backsliding on equality.

In recent years, many of us have grown accustomed to the progress we've made—marriage equality, anti-discrimination protections, and greater social acceptance and while we've certainly made significant strides in terms of visibility and acceptance, I believe that the push for gay liberation has actually had a negative impact on the sense of community that we once had.

While I'm grateful for the progress that we've made as a community, I can't help but feel a sense of loss for what we've left behind. We used to be a group of people who shared a sense of camaraderie and connection, and now it often feels like we're just individuals trying to navigate a world that's still not entirely welcoming.

In many ways, we've traded genuine connection for surface-level acceptance but I fear that this sense of security has made us complacent and fragmented, right at a time when we might need solidarity the most. We've become a community that takes our hard-won rights for granted, perhaps forgetting how fragile they really are and it's left many of us feeling isolated and disconnected.

One of the biggest issues that I've noticed is the way that social media and dating apps have impacted the way that we connect with one another.

While these tools have made it easier to meet other gay men, they've also contributed to a culture of superficiality and disposability. Many men seem to be more interested in swiping through an endless stream of potential hookups than in cultivating meaningful relationships, and it's left many of us feeling like we're just another profile in a sea of faces.

Another issue is the way that we've become so focused on achieving mainstream acceptance that we've lost sight of the unique culture and history that we once had.

It seems like the LGBTQ+ community has become less about celebrating our differences and more about assimilating into the dominant culture. While it's certainly important to fight for equal rights and representation, I worry that we're sacrificing our sense of community and identity in the process.

In many ways, we've become a watered-down version of what we once were, and I miss the sense of shared history and camaraderie that we used to have.

What worries me most is that our current disunity could leave us ill-prepared to stand against renewed attacks on our rights. Decades ago, we were united by necessity, coming together to fight for our lives and rights against a society that largely rejected us.

There was a deep, almost unbreakable bond that connected us because we knew we had no choice but to rely on each other. But now, with increased acceptance, we've become more individualistic.

The community feels less like a unified front and more like a collection of people pursuing personal interests. And as we fracture along these lines, we're weakening our ability to respond collectively to threats.

If there were to be a rollback in our rights—and with the populist right gaining ground, that possibility is real—it would be devastating if we found ourselves too disconnected to mobilize.

Without a strong, unified community, we risk becoming easy targets for reactionary policies. History has shown us that rights can be taken away as swiftly as they were granted, and if we're not vigilant, we could lose what we've fought so hard to gain.

It's essential that we work to rebuild our sense of community and shared purpose, so that if the need arises, we can stand together once more—strong, resilient, and ready to protect each other.

I hope that we can find a way to balance the push for liberation with the need for genuine community and connection, because ultimately, that's what will sustain us in the long run.

I don't care about being disrespectful anymore.

I was outside, playing with some neighbourhood kids when one of them called me my deadname. For context, I have been called Luca for 2 years, I have told this child so many times that I am called Luca and this child keeps calling me my deadname. I have tried every method. From telling his parents, to ignoring him when he calls me my deadname. I broke down and yelled at him and asked him why he thought it was so hard for him to just call me Luca. I went on and had a panic attack right there infront of him.

If I need to yell at people and have a mental breakdown to make them call me Luca, then that is what I will do. Because I don't care about being respectful anymore and I will no longer be disrespected.

As a gay man, it's easy to feel like an outsider when you don’t see yourself represented. But the more we share our stories, the more we remind each other that we’re not alone. Our voices matter. What say you? 🏳️‍🌈🦻🏻

Sunday, November 03 - Saturday, November 09, 2024

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This is my first ever post, so bear with me here. Also I apologize for the post being long, I made a short list of what the actual topic of this post is down below, (incase you don't want to read the context/sob story).

I've lived in a small town my entire life, and I've never felt like there has been a community for me to grow up in. As a younger person, I never really cared about having a social life in the community. Now that I'm starting to grow older (currently 24), I realize that I've never enjoyed anything beyond my own bubble of comfort. I've never been to a gay bar or nightclub. I've never found a club that shares similar interests, or discovered what I'm truly passionate about. I've never attempted dating anyone. These are some things I've always wanted to do, or at least try.

I have been planning on moving away to a different state for some time now. I've chickened out too many times, but I don't want to feel unhappy where I currently am anymore. I've been in the closet my whole life because the only person I've ever had was my mother, who is very homophobic. In order to feel 'safe' growing up, I had to conceal who I was. Now, as I grow older, I want to be who I've always wanted to be, try different things, explore outside of what I believe everyone expects me to be, and just be myself. I feel like I just can't do that here.

So, the overall reason for this post is to get some help when it comes to moving somewhere else. Moving countries is not an option (i wish it was), so it will be restricted to US cities/states. Some questions I have are...

1: What cities/states do you recommend for a gay male in the US?

Im used to cold winters and i dont think i would mind hot summers, so leave nothing off the table.

2: How do you establish a job and apartment when moving states away? How did you make it work?

Because in order to get an apartment, you have to have a job, but in order to land a job you need a place of local residency...

3: Do you have general advise on moving states away? Did you have any problems that could have been avoided?

4: How does one find groups of people who share the same interests, (like for example: Dnd groups? Local lbgtq+ events?)

For extra context: I have money saved up to cushion. I do not have a degree. The job I currently hold is only in this area, so I won't be able to transfer (which I'm aware, makes moving that much harder to actually achieve).

If any additional information is needed, please ask, and I will clarify/add it to the original post. Any help and advice is greatly valued.

Thank you for reading, and I appreciate the time you have taken to read this post.

I am a gay man who was born and raised in a Muslim-majority country. I had been in the closet for a very long time and had been out for just 2-3 years. To escape the country, I studied quite hard got accepted into a good university abroad as a masters' student and was enjoying my life as an out gay person.

I had made friends with these 3 other people who are studying in the same city as me and we are all from the same country and they had known that I was gay. Let's call them Arthur, Bill and Cathy.

With bill I have observed him very frequently changing what he says depending on what kind of people he is surrounded with and he was formerly a part of a religious cult that is sort of characterised by this kind of behavior. I mean he is mostly quite modern and stuff but I did honestly feel something was a bit, "off". So this guy was basically okay that I am gay, but he increasingly started making some off comments about LGBTQ community

Cathy and I are good friends, she had another gay person as her friend before and self-identifies as an ally. But she was learning and was actually asking me what are the bleeding edge issues in the community so that she can also advocate for LGBT rights.

So Bill told Cathy he actually describes himself as a homophobe and told her "he can respect it but doesn't have to love it".

So there came this weird dynamic that Cathy would white-wash homophobia with things like "well yeah Bill is kind of a homophobe but a lot of people are anyways and homophobia exists everywhere so maybe you should also get used to it"

Then came the last week. I was quite distressed because my thesis is basically going nowhere, I have a quite aggressive supervisor, I have to work while studying to be able to afford the room I rented and I was getting a bit of shit from work too, going through PhD applications and the leader in my home country was toning up the LGBT attacks to presumably spur more votes and was studying for GRE at the same time.

I was actually thinking of going to US for PhD because the situation in the country I am currently in is evolving more hostile as well. So after all the stress from work, thesis, money problems this was the last straw and I basically broke down.

So she called me during my breakdown and told me she did not buy into the idea that Trump is a homophobe, that she wants to do her research first. I wasn't holding up a particularly great emotional composure at that point. So I started crying and she said I was overblowing things.

Then she told me she felt negative during our exchange on the phone and she wants to retract herself from our friendship if I am going to be that depressive because she has to protect herself from negativity and I am not exactly sure how to react? She also compared me to an ex-friend who she parted ways with because she called her a whore for sleeping with Bill. I am not sure about the comparison because I did not even mention her boyfriend.

T

My college friend (M21) is staying in my apartment the other night (I’m M21 too), we are staying in the same bed and under the same blanket, and in the morning we are doing some kind of spoon cuddling. There is a lot of flirting going on already (we touch few times, he’s getting closer to me, we tangled up our legs etc), and I happened to cuddled him from the back and touch his belly, nipple, back, etc. but I think he’s a bit freezing and don’t know what to do about that though, but he definitely is comfortable and enjoy the touch. The vibes are just different, not platonic at all; it was long, pure silent, and intimate. Definitely not the usual kind of friendship vibes. He is staying on his phone facing the wall while I touch him from the back. He went back home in the afternoon and we never really discuss that moment up until today. Now I’m confused, I think I have feelings for him now after that moment. But I’m not sure if he’s actually gay/bi and wants to advance further. Any feedback/advice would be very much appreciated, thank you!!🫶

I'm Indian American (21F) living in a deep blue state in the U.S. I came out to my mother and she seemed okay with it but also told me not to tell anyone else in our family about it and that she'll have to move away if I marry a woman bc our family lives nearby (I'm bi.) before never mentioning it again. I don't want to ostracize her more than she already has been by the Malayali community we're around (she's a single parent and does not attend church and neither do I) so I'm always torn between just passing as straight for her benefit and just being like, whatever, I'm an adult. IDK has anyone else ever felt like this

Hello! My 13 year old sat me down on Friday and said that they think they're trans - they've been uncomfy for a long time and think they've realized they are. I am in their corner 100000000% and will support always no matter what, but I'm gonna be honest, momma is feeling very lost at the moment..

How do I help support? Do I call our family doctor? An organization of social workers/counselors? Are there better options?

Kiddo is very open to finding a professional to talk to to help make sure this is the route we need to take and help direct us to, or facilitate next steps, this is a new world for me and I just wanna do the right thing for them.

Any advice at all would be appreciated! TIA!

Honestly I haven't really been able to rant about anything regarding this. I guess I'm frustrated, btw this will be all over the place as im just spilling my mind in text. My parents have said multiple times that they don't care if people are gay, bi, ect. So context, been with partner for 5 years, on the second year they came out to me about being trans, Female to male, im fine with it, I discovered I was also attracted to men around that time. When parents discover this, my mom suddenly does a 180. She keeps acting super transphobic and tells me im not into guys, and for the first time I come out to her, I tell her I've started becoming attracted to men, she just says "no your not" I wasn't before and I'm only saying that because my partner. She still thinks that to this day, my partner has basically reverted and dropped T because of there family making him feel bad about everything, im trying my hardest for him to help him start again but nothings worked. I'm pan, and honestly I've wanted nothing more then to finnaly be able to explore that other side of me that I discovered and experience or even be able to confirm I like those amab, my partner knows that, we've talked about having a 3 some and they can't make up there mind it seems, one day they act excited about wanting to try, others they don't. I want to try and start looking more feminine but they don't want me to, I'm not trans at all but it's cause I want to look kinda pretty

Its like I feel trapped sort of, I can't express or explore myself at all and I've tried talking about it but anytime I do they get super sad and start spiraling and stuff, they already have once because of it. I can't do or say anything to anyone except places like this and i have kept my mouth shut because I feel bad.

Sorry that this was literally all over the place, i just wanted a place to say this, I have a lot more to talk about but...this is everything for now

I'm devastated.

He will be graduating soon and because of uncertainty with visa/career as an international student he will be going back to his home country. I was prepared to do long distance, he is not. He broke up with me on Friday in the sweetest but most devastating way possible.

It hurts because I know he still loves me very much. He loves me so much that he would rather end the relationship now while we still have happy memories, than risk going long distance and building resentment. He fears he won't be able to provide for me in the same way once we won't get to be physically close to each other.

I respect his choice. He knows his situation the best. And all I can do is mourn. My first proper relationship and my first proper break up.

We have until the end of the year. I told him that I want to continue going on dates and spending time with him until time comes when we have to separate. It hurts. Every day I feel like crying. I wish we had met earlier. I wish things were more stable and certain and we didn't have to part like this.

Best blue states to move to as a queer trans person

I’m a 20 year old queer trans man and I live in a red state. Specifically Nebraska. Trump won and republicans won all around. I live in an extremely blue city but, the states potential response to the election is having me very worried.

I cannot move out of the country because I am not financially stable enough for that but, moving to a different BLUE state is more reasonable for me and my boyfriend.

Does anyone have any advice or suggestions? Anything helps. Thank you.

(My bf also works for a concrete company so a place nearby cities would be best!)

Hey everyone,

I am looking for advice and resources for power of attorney and medical power of attorney in the United States. Upon my first search it seems it can be costly ($350+ per person). Is anyone aware of any lawyers, companies, or organizations that are helping with this right now? Does anyone know how this process works in general?

What's your story?

I wanted to start by saying that English is not my first language, so I am using a translator (sorry for any mistakes) It all starts with my post-breakup of a relationship of almost two years, after that I started wanting to get involved with new people (especially men since I had no experience with this genre and wanted something new). In these adventures of mine that led nowhere, I tried something more intimate with a classmate, but because of his cowardly personality, we only talked and held hands (we don't get to kiss or anything else). That was at the beginning of the year and after months he showed up with a girl from our school, a year younger. It turns out that me and his circle of friends make a lot of jokes about the two of them dating, since it seemed like he hated her and the girl had a very sad expression, especially when she was with him. After a while I discovered that she liked the same band as me, so out of pity I decided to be her friend since a boy from the same class as her said that: "she only has her mother in her life" I started chatting with her on Instagram and talking to her at school, and I realized that I had a lot in common with her, besides her being very nice. Now for some reason I feel a great sexual attraction to her and maybe I'm in love. The thing is, I don't know if she's sapphic or not. Some things make me believe that maybe she is. Like the fact that she smiles a lot while talking to me and frown when her boyfriend arrives. Maybe she just has a bad boyfriend, which is true. My problem is knowing what to do about this, please give me advice.

Hi, Im 18yo and I was curious for a long time. Maybe its because I have a slight porn addiction but I was extremely curious about gay sex. I met up with this dude online, met up, and we just got straight to it. I was uncomfortable the whole time. It did indeed feel good… but I felt terrible. I wasn’t attracted and its not sitting well with me. I hope no one takes offense to anything I have said. I was always attracted to girls but I liked the idea of taking and sucking a dick as a little hot. I guess now I know I am not gay, I don’t really enjoy dick. I feel a little disgusted with myself for some reason even though I know I shouldn’t. Hope no one gets mad at what I said. I was curious and now I feel bad. I have no one else to talk to about this.

Thanks

Been dating a girl for a few months and at first I thought it was too good to be true. I know I have flaws and am not always everyone’s cup of tea and I find it hard to believe sometimes or have that mentality like - how can someone like that love someone like me-

I have a demanding job on the front line and I also have a 12 yr old in my care( not my bio kid but def my kid right now).

Fast forward about two months in and she begins to get frustrated with my life style. I have to change/ rearrange plans or am not always fully present because something happens when I have respite at home and it needs my immediate attention.

I have tried so hard to be sensitive to her not quite understanding the demand and at first allowed her to voice the disappointment as hey when things happen I’m just as flustered, jsut not towards her. I spend all my time with her that i can and go the extra mile with reassurance because I really did think I was falling In love with her.

About 3 weeks ago a bigger argument emerged after she accused me of being sketchy or unfaithful in so many words because I was distracted at home with a behavioural issue and trying to arrange my evening So I could go see her. This really upset me because I’ve been so attentive in any spare time I have and then she avoided me for an entire evening into the next day. She then asked to come talk and I had time and freedom ( child free for the evening)And she came and apologized and voiced her anxieties and I felt better thinking maybe she just needs more time to trust me from previous experiences etc and said I would like to try and make this work.

One week later same thing I had to do something with my work that took my attention away, she again got upset and at that point I was flustered and admit I wasn’t overly sensitive to those feelings. Mostly because I’m becoming more convinced I may not be the one for her or maybe she needs more healing from again previous experiences.

However I’m still finding myself over compensating, extra kind, doing extra acts of service any chance I can get and the back of my mind so scared anytime I’m with her something will make her upset and I feel nervous rather than comfort.

Then two nights ago, the big guns, the what the fuck just happened and who are you. Went out on a date I was so careful to be present after a very long soul and emotionally draining work week. Excited to have fun with my girl. Had responsibilities at home mostly taken care of. Got almost through the first part of the date few hrs in and my 12 year old began calling and texting me and the phone was blowing up. I said one second I have to check this could be anything. It was something silly and I laughed and said darn sorry it’s always something. I saw the anger and disparity in her face and the demeanour shifted. Asked for the check got up abruptly and excited the location. I knew she was pissed again and I felt so anxious but also angry.

Obviously I asked are you really upset with me over that? Then the tone was loud and frantic. After not being like im sorry I was distracted for a moment the rest of the night will be great because like wtf???? It’s my KID. She got even more angry and began yelling at me saying I do t want to be with her I don’t care about her feelings, driving aggressively in a residential area and just screaming so loud.

It triggered me and sent me into a ptsd panic attack that I havnt felt in a while. I begged her to stop screaming and drive slower. She wouldn’t and I asked her to stop and let me out. Wouldn’t. Drive me all the way home then when I accepted and said I was going in alone and didn’t want to talk to her like this she begged me to stay apologizing. I set a firm I’m Not speaking to you tonight and I don’t know if I ever want to speak to you again and she sent me a lot of apologies. Wants to talk today but I am so scared if I let her into my environment I’ll just fold and fawn because I am sitting here feeling so confused and somewhat guilty worrying about her feeling bad.