I anticipate needing to move in the next few months. Any recommendations on the best place at the lowest cost?

So it's kinda a long story but if someone out there is willing to listen and give a bit of advice I would love someone to talk to.

Am a 32 year I entered into a FWB situation with another woman. This was my first same sex encounter.

We became very close and, in my opinion were much more than fwb. We were basically dating, and I had developed feelings and I THOUGHT she did too. When my feelings came out, she told me we were just friends and nothing else. And that I misunderstood a lot of interactions between the two of us.

She also told me that she was ready to be in any kind of relationship, and isn’t “worthy” of being with anyone. She said “I can’t ask you to wait for me.”

We decided to be friends and I do value her friendship.

Fast forward about a month, and she is dating someone. I was hurt and kind of mad. Idk if I had the right to be mad because she’s right, we never mad any kind of commitment to each other. She was free to do whatever she wanted and so was I, but the facts remain I was mad. I was upset, yes because I felt lied to and rejected. But also because instead of just being honest and telling me that maybe she meant what she told me when she said it, she met someone and wants to see where it goes. (I’m an adult, I get that.) but instead, she basically gaslit me, and said “she wasn’t dating anyone, she’s “seeing” someone.” And basically got mad at me for having my feelings hurt. I told her that it isn’t all about her, it’s also that this situation brings up all the feelings of rejection I’ve felt in the past and feeling like I’m not good enough for anyone.

She and this other person didn’t work out, and we talked about things and again tried to be friends.

I feel like my feelings for her keep getting brought up. She’ll ask me “are you in love with me?” Or mention how mutual friends think I’m in love with her. Or how she wishes we could be roommates but I wouldn’t be okay with her bringing girls home….

But then would say things like “if we dated we’d live together” or getting drunk and saying “ we wouldn’t work out for this reason.” And even asking me if I’m okay with us dating other people?

I get she was drunk but it comes up all the time so it makes me feel like she things about it even sober, And it’s confusing.

So now, again the conversation of how I wouldn’t want to live with her because I would t want to be around if she brings someone home. And I was frustrated because it feels like my feelings and subsequent rejection are being brought up all the time. I said that I didn’t feel like it needed to be discussed so much. She said that it’s not okay to avoid or run away from the topic. And I said I’m not. I’m working through stuff on my own, with my therapist etc bur that doesn’t mean she and I need to talk about it.

Tonight she said that I can’t offer her the type of friendship she wants. Even though last night she told me that I’m someone she wants to have in her life forever. And that I’m her best friend. She said that for her finding someone that she actually wants to be in her life forever is rare.

I’m sad and I feel guilty? Almost like I let her down by having these feelings? Like do I want to be her FRIEND or more? Do I want her around so badly because I want more from her? I feel almost like I’m leading her on as a friend?

If you’re still with me, thank you! I know it’s a lot. But can I be friends with her still? Am I the asshole for having these feelings and still telling her I want to be her friend? Does anyone have any experience in getting over someone that 1. You never dated and 2. You’re still friends with? How do I go about loving myself too much for this? And how to I meet other women? (This person always told me that I look really straight) so I worry I won’t find another woman I want to be with. I mean I like men too, but honestly I feel like I’d rather have a wife than a husband.

Sorry I know this is a lot, please be patient with me. I’m trying and learning and going through too much.

I'm sure SOMEONE here has had a Colposcopy. But before I ask the question just want to say how frustrated I am that I get a call to schedule a Colposcopy without a call/letter saying my pap smear wasn't normal. Like, give me a heads up bro! OK now for the question, could someone explain what I can expect? Thanks!

I have been with my partner for over 6 years and I still get shy when I want to talk dirty. I have no idea why! Any tips to overcome this? I will say I just want to say really kinky and off the cuff stuff and even when I am alone I will talk out loud and say all the things I'm thinking but I just get so shy.

For context, we met on bumble.

I (36f) was seeing/dating a surgical resident (31f) early last year and it was going really great even though she was super busy, she still made time for me. She was the more forward one in terms of pushing the relationship, but I was into it. I told her on our second date that I might seem a little hesitant because I've had a lot of disappointments but that didn't mean I didn't like her. I did! I was just being cautious for my own self preservation. She didn't hesitate to say, "I really like you. A LOT. I definitely want to keep seeing you." When we would chat during the week, she repeatedly made remarks about the future that sounded very couple-y and official. After our third date when we finally made out for the first time, I thanked her for being patient with me. Her response, "of course. You're beautiful and funny and you've opened up more with each date. It wasn't even a question to not be patient." We both admitted that we had dumb grins on our faces for the rest of the night after I left.

Cut to two weeks later after she's had a really rough week because of a trauma rotation (totally understandable) and she tells me that she's in a really bad place mentally and that she really shouldn't be dating right now because her depression was getting worse and she's under a lot of pressure at work. I totally understood because we had previously talked about her depression and my anxiety. We had a fairly long text exchange (because lesbians) about it because I've had friends in that place who didn't fair so well and I couldn't not try to say something to help. At one point she did say, "I selfishly would really like to see you again once I've worked on my mental health but I don't know how long that will take."

I checked in with her (as a friend offering support) a few times and she responded super positively, but I figured reaching out three times was enough, so I left the ball in her court. Last week I peeked at her IG and saw that she posted a recap of her year. It must not have taken long for her to work on her mental health. She has a girlfriend now and it looks like she started meeting up with her as early as two months after she broke it off with me. If not sooner. And the real kicker is that I recognized the gf because I've seen her active on bumble within the past two months.

I looked through the gfs profile (because I like pain) and she seems to be the exact opposite of me. Loud, cocky, a fuckboi, just very 'look at me.' She also lives even further away from the doctor than I do and seems to be just as busy as she is.

I'm just trying to understand why someone would break things off with someone they really liked citing mental health (which, again, totally understandable) and that they shouldn't be dating only to go and get into an official relationship with someone like that almost immediately. Does anybody have any insight or experience with this? I just don't want something like this to happen again, because I am tired.

If you had a Time Machine. Which time period would you want to visit and what would you do there/change/want to explore etc.?

In CO, 60yo snowboarder would.love to meetup with other older lesbians for snowboarding.

New here figured I introduce myself, but then I remembered I'm extremely introverted so kind of shy when it comes to explaining myself. So I'll just start off with hello everyone :)

It's Cold..Very Cold tonight. Feel free Entertain me with whatever you got going on?

update under the blankets is the majority. Except for the productive ones hauling Christmas Gear.

Just looking for the older ladies to maybe have something in common with. Other lesbian site seemed to have very young people. Im also new to where I moved so feeling like I'm on an island here. Miss my California peeps, but it's so damn expensive there. Hope to find my tribe.

As I talk to more and more masc women I’m finding that they want the feminine women that they meet to be aggressive, chase them, shower them with attention and do all the things for them in the early stages. While all they plan to offer is themselves.

I’m a fem woman who likes for mutual interest to be shown and I’m often accused of being heteronormative when I tell a masc that I won’t chase her.

I don’t feel that fems should do all the pursuing and attention giving just bc the masc is masc. There should be an even exchange.

FYI- Having conversations with people does not mean that I’m in search of love. It means I like to have conversation. So please stop with the wishing negativity on me bc of my observations. I understand there maybe cultural and age differences…so maybe consider those before being rude.

Anyone else?

I came out late in life. Dating my first (probably only - I love her dearly) woman; I’m her third after one fling and one 12+ year relationship

And we’re both super skittish, introducing each other as friends to everyone but close family

We both have concerns about being out bc we’re in a smallish town in a red state (near, but not in, a more progressive city)

I just have this push and pull about introducing her as a friend and also being afraid to introduce her as more.

Maybe I just needed to admit all of that here.

Like I know there’s so much openness and acceptance now, and I don’t need to be browbeat over the head about that, but I would I don’t know … I’m pretty sure if I asked for strategies, y’all will say ‘well the only strategy to be out is just being out.’

So I guess I just need to work hard harder to remember that the world isn’t necessarily the way it was when I was raised. But it also feels like we’re entering a backlash…

Anyway. Yeah I just needed to get all of this out I guess, thanks.

Oh it's so good to have found this Sub !!! ❤️. I'm open to finding friends : i am in Cali!

I just discovered this show and though the last episode is from November 23, it's still making me laugh--out loud and genuinely. Kara Swisher asked if they've noticed there are 3 lesbians on the panel and so it keeps coming up.

I actually just laughed so loud at a joke about carabiners that I scared my cats (yes, for real).

Any lesbians out there going through it? How has it been for you? My partner is going through menopause and it’s been really hard on her. I try my hardest to support her through it all, but I’m younger and haven’t gone through menopause yet, so I’m lacking the knowledge from experience. To all you metamorphosing ladies out there, how do you like your partner to show up for you and what advice do you have for me? I met her right before she went into menopause about 2 years ago. She’s the love of my life! Her going through menopause definitely has an effect on our relationship but we love each other to pieces and I think ultimately it deepens our connection.

If your ex was an entertainer of some sort and they were going to be apart of a show you wanted to attend, featuring other entertainers, would you or would you not go?

The event would be at a small venue where your attendance would be noticed.

I love this song so much.....even after all these years. Feel free to post your song you've got on repeat today!

Where do women meet, besides dating apps? I’m not into the hook up culture and I’m not interested in dating anyone in their 20’s. What are some other options for meeting new ppl?

Lesbian couple. 2 kids we made together. Married almost 8yrs but feels like we’ve somehow come to a weird point, we just don’t have the same feelings anymore or core values and as much as it didn’t matter, maybe the politics of this world are just making it so hard to disagree on such core things and raise children together? Idk anymore. I find myself sad more than happy, feeling like I’m making those pieces of myself smaller that don’t agree with her and those she surrounds herself with (my in laws, etc).

I never saw divorce in our future. I feel like I could pretend to be happy and stay married or be honest and start over.

Anyone else? I know a few other lesbian couples who’ve ended things after years but none with kids which will make this so much harder.

I'm 45, I had 2 long term relationships with that same issue. I'll talk about the last one here.

My girlfriend wanted me to get along/be friend with her childhood friends. Even when her friends had unappropriate conducts/judgements towards me, or even my friends during our meet ups. My girlfriend recognized that her friends said or did inappropriate things. But in the end I was still forced to go with my girlfriend at diners or bars, and meet them even if I didn't want to, and we fought about it, before and after.

I was like : go see your friends without me, but she always insisted and I had to give in. Every other time I ended the evening screaming inside. She was also spending time with a friend from work, who was always telling her how she loved to be single and free. I didn't see her much, when I was, she wasn't talking to me, they were talking together, like I wasn't there so after a few minutes I wasn't talking anymore. She said to my girlfriend that I didn't like her (she told me that when we broke up). It wasn't true, I think she was jealous, she wanted to go on vacation with her, or doing things with my girlfriend on sundays, but it was our only free day together, so I was against it.

I know that her friends told her that we weren't a match and kept pointing at our differences, until she finally agreed we were too different and ended up our relationship. Of course it's not the only reason, but I think it played a big part. I don't understand that idea of sharing everything, including friends, and I think it's important to have so time apart. She was telling me the same until she didn't. I always try to be nice (too much probably as I don't draw a line and end up screaming inside).

I'd like to know if it happened to you, how you dealt/are dealing with it. Because it happened to me almost everytime, and I even see on reddit that it's an issue in heterosexual couples. Thank you!

I posted the following story as a comment to a post about gay conservative voters in r/LeopardsAteMyFace.

Thought I'd share it here too.

--------------------------------

Gen X lesbian here. Years ago when I was single after breaking up with a long-term partner, I met a woman at a lesbian social event who revealed that she is a GOP voter. She was aware that I'm a progressive Democratic voter. During a long conversation, I learned some details about her personal life. (It was like therapy, with me playing the role of her therapist.)

1. Although she identified as a lesbian and had a history of sexual relationships with women, she was married to a man and they still lived together. She said he knew she was gay but they decided to remain married for 'practical' reasons.
2. She had two daughters, one still in high school at the time and one who had recently left home for college. She wasn't out to them.
3. She lived in a conservative suburban area in the Midwest. None of her neighbors knew she was gay.
4. When I asked if she was out to anyone besides her husband, she said she had told one of her co-workers. She worked in sales and frequently traveled for work.
5. She said her long term plan was to move to a city in Texas (such as Dallas or one of the other large cities) after her youngest daughter left home so she could live more openly.

That conversation was a window into the mind of a closeted conservative lesbian. Her life seemed lonely in many ways.

How could someone truly be happy while hiding such a core part of themselves from their own children? Did she have any close friends? Hard to imagine when someone is living a double life.

How did she expect to have a normal, healthy relationship with another woman when she finally comes out? Her dating pool is going to be limited.

This woman looked like a stereotypical suburban soccer mom. If I'd seen her walking down the street, my gaydar would never have gone off on her.

In case anyone is wondering...yes, this woman was hitting on me during the social event. She was thirsty and was being obvious about it.

What a trip it was meeting someone like this IRL.

I talked with this individual for about 6 weeks. It was more to see how often hints of financial need would come up. What I failed to mention to this person was my field of employment. The security sector. Based on the photo provided I was able to locate the real person, in another state with another profession. I even knew the texts were coming from a landline which made the multiple requests for assistance getting another phone all the more interesting. It was the 3rd attempt today that made me confront the individual. The game rage stopped once I sent the proof. Now it is crickets.

Please be careful with whom you text with from this sub or any other LGBT+ sub.

If you have any doubts about a person you are talking to on Reddit and you have a photo, just use it to research facts.

Hey, Good People,

I'm a singleton now (divorced, will almost be a year). I'm (57) curious to discover how others have found/built community (outside of MeetUp groups -- because they do not really exist in my area).

As I'm resurfacing from being in a romantical dyad for so long, I'm somewhat floundering. I wonder how peeps in similar situations have found their way to growing their connections. TIA for sharing your stories for inspiration.

All best wishes :D

I'm posing this question mainly to the over 40 crowd. Do any of you have experience with dating after being single for a long time? And by a long time, I mean 10, 15, 20 years. I'm about to turn 49, and I haven't dated since I was in my early 30s. There's a whole story behind it, but the details don't really matter. I'm an introvert and an HSP, so I actually really enjoy my solitude. But there are time when I miss having someone special in my life.

That said, I think it would be difficult to adjust to being in a relationship after being alone for so long. I freely admit that I'm a tad set in my ways at this point in my life. I'm curious to hear from anyone who'd like to share their experience. Were you able to let someone in after being alone for several years? Was it a difficult transition or did it turn out beautifully because you finally found your person?