/r/shittyaskscience

Photograph via snooOG

We are a motherfucking profanity sub now.


Do you have a question that mainstream science refuses to answer? Are your theories and experiments so bizarre that sensible people tell you they will never be published? Do you need help building a doomsday machine, or shopping for a monstrous assistant? Then you've come to the right place! The esteemed panelists at Shitty Ask Science might be the only people who are willing to help you!


RULES OF THE SHITTY SCIENTIFIC METHOD

Dad Jokes and Lame Puns contaminate shitty science. We reserve the right to remove all Dad Jokes and throw them in the pile of hazardous waste behind our laboratory.

THE FOLLOWING SUBJECTS HAVE BEEN THOROUGHLY RESEARCHED AND ARE NO LONGER CONSIDERED SCIENCE. PLEASE DON'T USE THEM.

  1. Farts, poop, pee, and shit.
  2. Basic bitches.
  3. Homosexual Sapiens.
  4. The conversion rate of fuck-tons and shit-loads.
  5. Being what you eat, or a percentage of something.
  6. Fat peoples' interaction with gravity
  7. Genetic jeans.
  8. Space vacuum cleaners.
  9. Speed of heavy and/or dark.
  10. Sharp things that taste like blood.
  11. The fact that heat rises but mountains, the North Pole, and outer space are still cold.
  12. Making planes out of black boxes.
  13. Shaving with Occam's razor.
  14. Energy drink equations.
  15. The well-established relationship between autism and vaccines.
  16. Steel fuel. Jet memes. Steel memes. Steal beams.
  17. God.
  18. Pokemon.
  19. Questioning dead people.
  20. Degrees of murder and other crimes in Celsius or Fahrenheit.
  21. Blurry Japanese genetalia.
  22. ISIS in space.
  23. The deadly youth in Asia.
  24. Solving global warming with air conditioners.
  25. Upside-down Australians, almond milk, gender fluids, and anything else we've seen a million times already.
  26. Asking why meteors land in craters will result in a permanent ban!
  27. Asking what kind of thing is this when it's obviously not that kind of thing at all. And any other grossly willful misinterpretation of an image.
  28. Brand-name product placement. Scientists are on a budget. We can only afford generic products.

Praise be to Nagi, pro L4D2 player and top tier memer

Perth thinks he's so cool because he's a ghost

Hi Powerless

NO SCREENSHOTS, MEMES, OR MACROS!


/r/shittyaskscience

1,201,195 Subscribers

3

If "the more, the better" is true, then why is more CO2 such a problem? [citation kneaded]

2 Comments
2024/07/26
08:10 UTC

9

If I smoke a shitload of weed while in a greenhouse, will the plants growing inside get high? [CITATION KNEADED]

3 Comments
2024/07/26
07:04 UTC

7

Why do I keep biting my cheek? Does this mean I am schizophrenic and my other me hates me? [CITATION KNEADED]

7 Comments
2024/07/26
01:50 UTC

2

If cats have 9 lives then why my they become kittens when they die of old age [citation kneaded]

0 Comments
2024/07/25
21:40 UTC

10

If a vampire bites a zombie, does the zombie become a vampire or does the vampire become a zombie? [CITATION KNEADED]

12 Comments
2024/07/25
19:09 UTC

4

How do you milk an oat? [CITATION KNEADED]

10 Comments
2024/07/25
18:26 UTC

22

If I put my laptop in the freezer, will it run faster because it's cooler? [CITATION KNEADED]

14 Comments
2024/07/25
16:46 UTC

3

Is it possible to use rainbows as a renewable energy source? [CITATION KNEADED]

5 Comments
2024/07/25
15:53 UTC

1

How do people with no ears wear earbuds? [citation kneaded]

It seems kinda unfair that they have to use speakers

12 Comments
2024/07/25
15:23 UTC

3

If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? [CITATION KNEADED]

4 Comments
2024/07/25
13:42 UTC

12

If tomato is a fruit does that make ketchup a smoothie? [CITATION KNEADED]

I like smoothies over my rice

8 Comments
2024/07/25
13:37 UTC

5

Why are path of Jen’s so dangerous? [CITATION KNEADED]

4 Comments
2024/07/25
12:44 UTC

294

If light travels faster than sound, then why can I hear my girlfriend bitching at me before I see what I've done wrong [citation kneaded]

25 Comments
2024/07/25
10:32 UTC

12

How many cups of decaf do I need to drink to undo the effects of drinking 9 cups of regular coffee? [CITATION KNEADED]

10 Comments
2024/07/25
07:59 UTC

5

Will my teeth whiten if I soak my mouth with vinegar for one straight week, not spitting? [CITATION KNEADED]

3 Comments
2024/07/25
06:22 UTC

3

Is juicing an entire lime into my coffee gunna give me limes disease? [CITATION KNEADED]

2 Comments
2024/07/25
05:58 UTC

8

Is it safe to lick cats? As far as health and diseases go - the cat likes it. [citation kneaded]

11 Comments
2024/07/25
03:09 UTC

14

Why hasnt anyone won an Oscar for their smartness in this sub? [CITATION KNEADED]

25 Comments
2024/07/25
02:44 UTC

0

What is the most important organ in the human body? [CITATION KNEADED]

8 Comments
2024/07/25
01:34 UTC

2

How do I knead a citation? [Citation kneaded]

0 Comments
2024/07/24
20:27 UTC

4

[citation kneaded] My daughter is diabetic. Can I donate one of my pancreases?

3 Comments
2024/07/24
19:20 UTC

3

What would happen if you freeze dried a human? [CITATION KNEADED]

9 Comments
2024/07/24
18:47 UTC

28

If olive oil is made from olives, what is baby oil made from? [CITATION KNEADED]

17 Comments
2024/07/24
18:41 UTC

7

If the grass is always greener (495-570nm) then wouldnt it eventully be yellow (570-590nm)? [citation kneaded]

5 Comments
2024/07/24
17:20 UTC

5

I used my driver on a par 4. Does this mean I have to tip him more? [citation kneaded]

2 Comments
2024/07/24
16:45 UTC

1

Has anyone seen this documentary?[citation kneaded]

0 Comments
2024/07/24
16:42 UTC

3

How did the Romans DM so many fish, specifically carp, without smartphones? [CITATION KNEADED]

Seize Deez Nuts Augustus

1 Comment
2024/07/24
16:08 UTC

7

If a werewolf astronaut on the Moon moves from the dark side to the light side, does he transform into the wolf form? [CITATION KNEADED]

2 Comments
2024/07/24
15:16 UTC

83

If God created the sun on the fourth day, how had four days passed? [citation kneaded]

41 Comments
2024/07/24
14:21 UTC

16

If I vaccinate my electric guitar, will it become acoustic? [citation kneaded]

3 Comments
2024/07/24
14:21 UTC

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