/r/ShittyLifeProTips
A place for the shittiest, most mocking "pro-tips" you can think of. Whether you want to let us know how glue can help out your hair or the quickest way to clog a public toilet, we're the place to post.
A place for the shittiest, most mocking "pro-tips" you can think of. Whether you want to let us know how glue can help out your hair or the quickest way to clog a public toilet, we're the place to post.
If your post does not appear in the new tab after several minutes, it may have been caught by our spam filter. If this happens, send a message to the mods and we'll get it fixed up for you!
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WHAT IS A LIFE PRO TIP? A Life Pro Tip (or LPT) is a tip that improves life for you and those around you in a specific and significant way. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Rules:
1. LPTs must be shitty. The post must contain a life pro tip that is shitty. This isn't a dumping ground for shitty statements. Any tips that are actual good advice will be removed at the discretion of the mod team. What constitutes shitty is hard to explain, but much like porn, we know it when we see it.
2. No KYS posts. We will remove all posts with the tip "Kill Yourself" or any variation thereof.
3. No reposts. Reposts are lame. If you repost something within our top 25 of all time, you may be banned.
4. No circlejerking. Circlejerking is lame too. Simply copying a popular post from here, or LPT and putting a minor twist so it's "shitty" is also unoriginal, and we will probably remove those too.
5. NSFW discretion. Being gross for the sake of being gross will get your post removed at the mod's discretion. Most of these include bodily functions and fluids, or rape, etc. Pretty much anything posted simply for shock value.
6. Remain civil. If you act like a racist, pammer, or are being a general douchenozzle, the mods reserve the right to ban you without warning.
Note: For God's sake this subreddit is meant to be taken in a joking, satirical manner. Please don't actually follow any of this advice, and don't report posts as inciting violence. You should know this already, but some of you forget which sub you are in when you report.
A proud member of The Shitty Network.
/r/ShittyLifeProTips
If you're like me, and you have no semblance of a natural leaning diet and shit like God personally hates you, AND you care what other people think to the point you call out of work to hide in bed because someone gave you a dirty look at the grocery store, then consider this:
When you're on your 7th or 8th trip to the bathroom due to the absolute fucking garbage you inhale into your filthy and God-forsaken tomb you call a body, and there are decent human beings in there as well, time your flushes to coincide with your horrific ass blasts of terror.
The combined sound will most likely drown out your disgusting body's expelling of waste, and no one will ever know how foul your body is.
This way you can quickly find a safe spot on the drywall to punch.
Stoicism has a saying momento mori remember you will die. This helps us see life in a different lens! Share this valuable insight to everyone
I'm telling you, I haven't pooped any other way since
Yelling at the referees will create a helpful bias and if your child’s team sucks you can sit with the winners to teach them about conditional love.
Some fly species will deliberately seek out your sweat. Thus if you don’t drink water then you can beat the flies at their own game.
We can’t guarantee you’ll survive the shock, heat stroke, dehydration or combination of all of the above.
Eat a lemon! It will negate the (previous) sour!