I sit here and try to rhyme

To put my heart here on this page

But how am I supposed to say anything

When everything means absolutely nothing

Tell me the secret to make it

All mean something again

Like it did

Now everything I used to love

means nothing

Or Mayve it is me who

Lost his meaning

Now that laughter becomes annoying

And voices become noiseless sound

I don't like who I am becoming

But I don't know how to stop falling

This poem is shit

Just like everything else

I'm walking through the woods again

Naked and alone

I'm skipping through the foliage

All the trees seem monotone

I don't have dagger, gun or knife

With me on my way

My only weapon is my voice

I'd rather not use it, if given the choice

But alls not well, nor as it seems

In my nightmares turned to daydreams

Twisted paths begin to sway

If I get lost, will I find my way?

And every path that has a light

is much too bright, a blinding sight

But I must find my way back home

On this dizzying path I roam.

I can't breathe in

My final breath

I try to take it, but there's no air left.

I feel like I'm going to be sick

But when I try to puke

It's only air, and the feelings I rebuke.

Tears drip drop

I fear I'll drown

If they don't stop, or at least slow down.

I'm spiraling down

Over and over again

I'm trapped in fear, I'm lost in sin.

Here,

Let me give you a hand.

I know you are trying hard.

I know you've fallen

And bumped your knees,

And maybe even your butt

One, too many times.

I know you are scared

And I know that it hurts.

Here,

Grab on.

You don't have to be alone.

I am also learning to walk.

As time goes I find myself In new lows continuing to drown in dirt and magma this earth is trying to kill me in

The further I get the more it drowns my thoughts and emotions out and I can’t seem to find a phone line long enough to let me voice the fog of my own mind

Sometimes I wonder if I’ll truly be able to connect to those around me before I remember I’m thousands of miles underground with no one in sight

And every word I say feels like it’s floating through space

The type of space that doesn’t carry sound

And I wonder if my numbness to this is the reason I haven’t escaped

I digged this tunnel in my grandparents backyard at the ripe age of 9

And since then I’ve been digging

And digging

And every once n a while I think I see light

So I dig even deeper chasing for it

each year there’s nothing waiting for me but a boiling vein of lava

it’s been eons and yet I still don’t know how to live in a life with no dreams

Sometimes I don’t realize I’ve woken up until I’m right back in the darkness of my own mind

Suddenly love’s so MGM

I can’t stop loving you M

The kiss we shared on that bench

I can’t let go, my heart is all wrench

Your eyes as you said the three holy words

Your affinity for Skyrim and playing the Nords

Your funny texts on WhatsApp

That day I wrote you a Diss rap

Your sweet little kisses on my neck

Why’d you have my cardiovascular system to wreck

Sippin’ wine on your parents’ porch

In my heart you lit Almond’s torch

I cried and cried like O’Sullivan sings

When we kissed I started thinking of rings

You were such a beaut and hellishly cute

Why did you decide my heart to shoot

Eyes like Daenerys, derriere like Jada

To get you back I just gotta

But to you I ceased to be

By now you’re probably married +3

I try to love others but it’s hard

So I am just a lonely bard

“Living in the Past” is my eternal song

Don’t stop reading, I won’t go long

I loved you like I never loved before

Anything with you was never a chore

You have a mortgage on my heart

In another dimension we have a brand new start

You can slam a door in my face

A dozen times

And I’ll wonder what I did wrong

Add two more dozens

I’ll worry we don’t belong

(That’s thirty-six)

When it slams when I speak, I plead

Fourty-seven more times

I feel weak in the knees

Please, question me

That makes eighty-three

Look through your peephole and see

There’s no need for the last seventeen

I know that you’re mean

An axe to grind, you slam and scream

But go so hard

You break your own door

And you stand in front of open floor

Nothing left to guard you anymore

From me, or from anybody

What do you do now

When you don’t have a door to slam anymore?

I walked a path of wonder past bushes of growing peas

A burning church, an apple orchard, and a woman who spoke to trees

My eyes grew weary as the time had warped my face

My arms were coated with saggy skin, and my shoes had missing laces

I’d grown on my journey to an area not long forgotten

Where people sung, the plants all grew, and evil had not long rotted

A place free of torment was bound to be lost in time

For people only dream of places wondrous, loving, and kind

So when my innocence bursted like a blown balloon

My journey home was interrupted by an unexpected typhoon

It swept me south, it swept me west

It brought me to places i thought i knew best

those places i’d been to in thoughts and dreams

were some of the most beautiful that i’d ever seen

so when my house appeared up on the horizon

I said goodbye to skeletons, goodbye to sirens My front door opened like a gush of cold wind

That brought back remembrance of where i had been

Years upon years of bathing in sun

The memories I had that all blurred into one

The polaroid cameras, the small trips to the moon

All the dinners my mum made, and all the aliens we’d lose

And though this can be captured in a frame, frozen in time

The bells of the past continue to chime

Paradise isn’t a place where you go, kingdom in the sky

But it’s your memories of childhood in the bed where you lie

.

Coyotes are a hoot​. And known to play the public bun​.

.

They run around my neighborhood​. Snacking ​in the night. ​Using howls, barks, and yips​. ​They run in groups of eight​.

.

Perhaps you'll see from time to time. These beings we share the light with.

.

In the meantime, it should be known, coyotes are cool...

.

.

it's like a house with no foundation

built on shifting sands

trying to stand upright

but constantly losing its balance

it's a tree in a hurricane

with roots that are weak

trying to weather the storm

but constantly at risk of being uprooted

it's like a leaf on a windy day

tossed about with no direction

trying to cling to the branch

but it's hard to hold on with no protection

it's like a heart that's breaks

into a million pieces

trying to mend its cracks

but they keep on spreading, never ceasing

it feels like a wound

that won't heal

a cut that's still bleeding

and can't be sealed

it feels like a ghost

haunting my own life

a presence that's felt

but never seen

it feels like silence

a heavy blanket

smothering the sound

of my own heartbeat

it feels like lust

a flame that flickers

hot and bright

but never warm

it feels like obsession

a constant hum

a buzzing in the brain

a noise that won't be tamed

it feels like love

but not the kind

that lifts you up

the kind that weighs you down

that's what it feels like to be me

forgotten hours

the clocks don't mark a time

so it dissolves like sugar

my thoughts are going nowhere

in this moment, we are free

to chase the highs, to seek the thrill

to lose ourselves into the haze

of unadulterated pleasure still

I am so hungry for a Zwazo steak right now, my mouth is watering like I just bit into a juicy, salt covered lemon! Help me lordy, feed me! THE LORDYS PRAYER: 🙏🤤As I lay me down to dribble, find me food and I won't quibble, In my head the steaks are dancing, In my mouth the teeth are nashing, long in love cause meats my passion, salads and garlics all peppers and spices, Oh lordy please feed me within these devices! Amen! Edgar Allen Fooshee. 🙏😋🤤

shake me when i put shoes
to ground infect me give me
rabbit chaos and bugs take
me to emoticons flay me
fly me high above the sun
seed me alienate my dna
and nerves tantalize my thirst

.

the preachings of brosef
listen, he was a man,
of the people dont crash
the bus, crash the, system
two make nice with fam,
step 3, be good to dogs,
love cats much number 5,

.

release. transmit. learn new
things. release. transmit. go.
in the presence transmit

what is sex?

sex is a sin, a whispered lie

a hidden truth, that only my dreams can deny

what is virginity?

i ponder on the concept, lost in disarray,

a notion shrouded in mystique and might:

virginity, a virtue (or so they say in sight).

a garden that's locked and overgrown

a stillborn star that refuses to ignite

in this surreal landscape, where logic is astray,

i find myself saying, in a voice that's not my own way,

"i don't want to be a virgin anymore,"

Ok chatGpt prompt
That I named Crunk
Because u silver tongued
Whatcha got?
.
A story about an insane lad
Told to sleep by himself
Kicked out the marriage bed
Now living at his own pad
A room next door thing...
He messed up bad

A toxic clown
That's not an insult
Just something I saw
While using his saw
And swinging my hammer
An observation
Combined with
witness statements
.
What I discovered
Is that this manboy
Put hands on my girl
When she was just 15
His fingers he wrapped
Around her neck
Causing hurt and angst
.
At the time I couldn't be seen
Because I wasnt clean
And the scene was mean
.
Oh dear goodness
What am I saying? Well:
The moral of the story is
I don't gotta be Notorious
Just more observant
And scrupulous

 I can feel the coldness approaching once again.
 As summer subsides and the days are sacrificed to autumn.
 An evil birdy is sitting on my shoulder, it chirps curses into my ear.
 At a volume only I can hear, at a frequency only I can touch.
 There is a void lingering inside this soul. 
 There is hurt trapped inside the basement of my heart.
  There is pain crammed behind these eyes. 
  The end is nowhere near yet one can always dream. 

I have nothing to write about anymore
The things I once thought were inspiring now a chore.
I remember how I got excited simply meeting her
Now it seems like a lie, something adjourned

There's nothing left on this Earth that could give me reprieve
An ever ending echo of how I am the one who is deceived
If you can't be content, you'll never be happy
God knows I'll be high again before new years eve.

It's sad to me how if I am not in love
I am full of endless negativity of what
All that lasts is a pointless bluff
A selfish piece of shit, nothing is enough

Lost and alone, broken with no home,
A useless adjective describes what is shown,
A cavity of a shadow of being nothing alone
They say love yourself, I love how i don't

For it's a pointless grandiose meaningless show.
Every talent used for praise but I'm alone
If I was better maybe I'd build a new home
But nope. I'd rather live in the dirt for it's what I know

I'll try to be honest, my vices aside
It's not like I wanted to hurt anyone pastime,
I really thought I could love someone once upon a time
Now I realize I fall in love with emotions. a pathetic lie

Earth, the great AR

To see where this is going

You needn’t look far

Automatic Rifle

How many rounds does it hold?

Is it enough to break the mold?

Of society.

The sickness that took hold.
It’s a desperate man’s hand.

One last stand

A card better left in the deck.
What the heck? What relief exists like bliss in the mind of a killer as he releases the rubber grip?

If only he could get a grip

on the hope that was swallowed up with his soul

The souls it feeds. As many as it needs. That cantilever system works in full action auto… how exciting

I created you and now you must listen.

Do you hear?

The earth is firing its rounds. No need for hell hounds.

The earth mounds it’s piss-soaked victims corpses for courses

What’s the caliber?

Look through the sights

There is no need to size when the bullet hits right between the eyes

every single time.

Without reason or rhyme.

The earth has no motive just like so many of your white washed fellow faces

Any races

whether plagued by insanity or paid with profanity the perpetrator of his wrath will ultimately be stricken down in his path by the greatest of all ARs

EARTH

ARTHE

RTHEA

THEAR

HEART

Sexualizing these thighs since the beginning of time.

A girl whose life was already set up for trauma.

Quiet in the dusk. Allowing men to rule her.

Vibrations of fear and lust between her.

Longing for love. Silence becomes her.

They expect all of her but only take parts of her.

Mourning the old her. Grieving the free her.

Soft and fluttery like feathers in her pillows. The same pillows filled with her tears.

Night time comes and nobody knows her secrets. Sworn to secrecy but dying to tell. Why won’t someone help her.

They never ask if she’s okay. They take what’s not theirs. She gives her all because she’s afraid to lose the only ones she has left.

Losing herself but gaining nothing.

Let's move to a little lost town on a lake,
We'll tend the bars, and we'll open the bakeries,
We'll build a landmark in the centre of town:
As an ode to the day we decided to found:
The coziest town on a lake in the forest.
The paddlewheel rolls round and round,
Just like the seasons pass throughout,
But our minds and hearts are set on our marks:
To keep our town from turning upside down,
In our cozy little town on a lake in the forest,
We moved when we found it had no one around,
And we kept its charm and dairy farm,
With just us few who only knew:
About the little lost town on a lake in the forest.

DEFINITELY SHITTY - Hypo manic for 3 days depressed tomorrow

These thoughts won’t stop so I let them in

I crave attention but I’m a hermit.

Visually unhinged replaying the same sad story in my head like a record from 2000s boy bands

I call him because I want him but I hate him and he hates me. It’s not fair because i actually feel nothing at all. Why does my brain hurt. Why am i crying. Crying for someone but I feel nothing for no one. In bed all day. I can’t tell you when I showered. I can’t tell you when I will. But I don’t stink because the sink is my friend. Tears fall. Hearts cold. Dreams of waking up in heaven. Hypo makes me feel like heaven. Depression feels like death.

Hypo manic for 3 days depressed tomorrow.

in the hollow of my chest, a socket waits for the plug of your approval

i am a doll, a marionette, with jerky movements and scripted words.

the lines that blur, the edges that fade the me that's lost, the me that's made.

i'll rewire my brain, whatever it takes: my thoughts, my feelings, my every desire.

when i stand in the mirror in front of the reflection of my emptiness

looking for a fleeting glimpse of who i am, without the weight of influence,

that will be okay, because in the museum of my mind, a single exhibit stands:

a relic of our love.

i handle it with care, with reverence and fear lest it shatter, lest it disappear.

don't leave me, don't leave me, don't leave, i'll be nothing at all. ♡

When I’m missing you

I close my eyes

and all I see is your face

but lately I don’t see anything clearly

I see hazy grey

flashing lights 

my friends draped over furniture 

pools of blood

and beer

I see panic 

and fear.

My breath becomes heavy

until I forget how to breathe

I cling to your face

the vision, the calm

Come back and take me

away from this storm.

kaleidoscope of colors

shifting and morphing

reflections in a dirty mirror

two broken things

two shattered minds

the world outside

a distant echo

a fading signal

a muffled scream

i don't want it

i don't wanna think

i don't care at all

i want to feel your weight

on top of me, inside me

your skin on mine

a fleeting comfort

your arms around me

each other's shadows

we find a moment

of fleeting peace

from the crushing burden

of existence

In the dark, in the dirt, in the grime

You're the only light, the only thing that makes me feel alive

You're the only thing that makes me feel like I'm still human

You're the only one who makes me feel like I'm not alone

A presence in the emptiness, a shadow that's my own

In the ocean of my tears, in the waves of my sorrow

You're the only thing that makes me care about tomorrow

You're the only thing that makes my nothingness feel like a something

You're the only thing that makes this abyss feel like a womb

A shadow in the spotlight, a phantom in the frame

A flower in the toxic waste, a bird in the acid rain

♡

I am a soft girl

wrapped in a hard shell

Cloaked in a silk.

my teeth drip

in anticipation .

of A taste of a living thing.

maybe If I

pretend a while,

those boys will fuck

this soft malaise, into a bloody pulp

until I can’t tell

which breaths those hurts caused.

Hurting you is hurting me.
Something that was to never be.
Thy name means pure.
Far from pure, you see?
Full of flaws and errors.
I am not the person who you seek.
For she’s lost but soon, in time she’ll peek.

I’m bitter and I don’t know what to do with my flavor

I let words spew from my mouth, all coated in lemon

Eyes green with limes

Searching for the envy covering my thoughts like zest

If I convet enough you, will I soon turn sweet?

If I devour you whole and let my tastebuds become yours, will your flavor be mine?

Tell me dear, do you too melt like burned candy?

I want you to become mine

I want all that you have

Does your blood too taste of honey?

So I guess that's it then,

Enjoy your cake or whatever the fuck you call it

I was a means to a petty end,

Enraged and that has turned me to a petty-holic.

Enjoy your fat ass of a husband,

I'm sure you'll identify with what you have inside,

Begging me everyday to compliment your body

"The wrinkles aren't that noticable right?"

Love isn't enough for some, it's barely enough for me

I wish I didn't mistake a woman wanting out of a marriage for that but anything

Twas' a scapegoat for a corkscrew Mormon

To fuck another person she could cry about to her next husband.

It's funny how they say "I'll be the prelude to what you really need,"

Yet I'm alone eating Cheetos and looking at you married before I even leave.

Something tells me behind most smiles in pictures

There's misery of abuse and people barely caring

If I see a woman smiling and a man barely grinning,

I know that marriage is all but confined and dying

Then I look at everyone else in this life,

Slowly dying trying not to act like all that's inside

Is vanity, money, means of looking good to somebody,

It's all a stupid picture you can post in this age to everybody.

And that is the truth of why I wasn't shared to anyone but you

A confined secret of a mistake I took and shouldn't of with you

Fuck all the morals, I've broken every law

As I look back on my corkscrew Mormon, I remember all her flaws

~

You'll make a good story in a bar someday

If I don't have a catheter in my penis maybe I'll find my way

Telling my stories about how I shouldn't be here today

Lust is a fools prize, fuck the game of love I play