/r/ShittyPoetry

Photograph via snooOG

A subreddit to relentlessly express the uncensored truth that is in your heart's brain.

It is encouraged to bring out your inner pretentious poetry critic as well as to tell the OP how and why you enjoyed their work.


We aren't poets, and we know it

Alas, we wish to show it

Though it's rot with no thought

Our art will be sought, or you'll be fought


ABOUT

A subreddit to fully express the shit that is in your heart.

It is encouraged to bring out your inner pretentiousness and tell the poster how much you enjoyed his work.

The "moderators" will randomly and unashamedly assign flair as they see fit.

If you have a problem with your flair, feel free to write a poem about it.


Formatting

  • 4 spaces before each line to format however you want

 I did it all for the nookie
  • Two spaces at the end of a line break

Come on
The nookie

  • Type Enter twice for a stanza break

Come on

So you can take that cookie

  • Type   for an empty line

And Stick it up your, yeah!

 

Stick it up your, yeah!


Monthly Shitty Poetry Battle

Check the wiki for all the info, links & standings


Discord

https://discord.gg/zvYhqjF

/r/ShittyPoetry

17,365 Subscribers

1

hopeless romantic at it again

i think he's onto me
i think he knows
but i shall not admit
till he admits his own

maybe im being delusional
maybe im wrong
but i will look forward to these feelings
till another dawn

Poet's Statement:
As I'm writing this, he is sleeping. I think he knows how I feel. I can only assume he feels the same, but like in the poem, I'm pretty sure I'm just being delusional and hopeless :,>

0 Comments
2024/04/03
23:49 UTC

1

Respect

No respect is given or needed or wanted or earned for me

Kick me and tell me to shut up and do what I’m told

Cause that’s how I felt I wanted it to be

Backhand connects with the weight of gold

The wedding ring busts my lip because you leave it on

To cover my face meant I got hit extra hard

Because I should know I deserve it

I never made that mistake again

I know you’re sorry and I forgive you

For your sake and for mine

But I wont let it happen twice more I’ll cut the cord

1 Comment
2024/04/03
22:25 UTC

1

Birthday

I can’t handle the family nostalgia My body cringes over the old stories My family is nice but they didn’t used to be I remember being very scared as a kid But I cant never remember what for

I can’t handle the stories They are all being told in good fun, to laughter But I shake and avert my gaze I got up and walked out and I’m sitting in the living room, away from the dining room

I heard my name called but I’m not going in there I feel guilty for choosing to be away from my family I just can’t stand this feeling I don’t know what it is I wish I could stop being this way but I don’t even know what to call it.

My parents, brother, and sister are all beautiful people who deserve my love and time. I just can’t bring myself to endure this right now I feel scared

0 Comments
2024/04/03
22:23 UTC

1

how do i not be afraid i want to die i want to kill myself how do i do it

how do i not be afraid i want to die i want to kill

myself how do i do it

0 Comments
2024/04/03
21:26 UTC

3

The First Bite

Love is the sweetest, reddest apple in the midst of a barren winter. The crisp, irresistible bite is that of folklore and the orchid is a battlefield. Air lingers with innocence while the fruit fills with poison. Illness is impossible to predict without a taste. Bane cannot erase the intoxicating relief of hunger. When craving an apple, any apple will do.

1 Comment
2024/04/03
20:11 UTC

2

Hopeless

I don’t remember drinking.

But I must be drunk when I’m walking all too clumsily.

Don’t give me too much attention.

Lord knows I fall too easily.

Some girls have called me a puppy.

Now I see what they mean.

I’m trained with treats and whimper and cry when I’m left alone.

I really am a hopeless romantic.

I’ve even caught feelings over the phone.

Cause I see a piece of gold in every heart.

When I dive head first into a rose bush.

I’m all too eager to let the thorns tear me apart.

In the end I’ll look in the mirror and see a bloody mess.

I’m hopeless….

1 Comment
2024/04/03
18:30 UTC

1

A Good Fucking

Steel rod
insert
my anus
squirt beautiful
globs of baby batter
over my porch

0 Comments
2024/04/03
17:53 UTC

1

First time trying g so I know it’s shitty

Called back Back to the roots A fresh start Sprout again A damned clean slate All of the memories Foot prints in the sand Washed away The imprint may be gone Yet the sand once stood on will remain Rejuvenate Called back to the water Called back to the roots

I feel like it’s missing something. Please give me any and all comments. I write but never have done poetry. This came to me so wanted to try to share.

Thank you.

0 Comments
2024/04/03
12:06 UTC

1

Alligators

Lovingly cold blood Teeth that sink deep from past pain New life just upstream

0 Comments
2024/04/03
11:19 UTC

1

🤷🏼‍♀️

I lay here on his chest As he pulls me in closer and holds me tight But only for tonight The way he caught me off guard It was like he’d been waiting forever Each kiss and grasp more intense then the last Nothing more than a fleeting adoration No expectations No strings But here I lay Wishing I was back in the twin sized bed As kisses trailed and fingers traced As if trying to memorize

0 Comments
2024/04/03
07:22 UTC

0

Lesbians.

There are women
women
and there are lesbians
lesbians
women and lesbians
with women
these ones are people born with a cunt
women
were born with a cunt
whereas with lesbians
they are women too
but ones
who don't want to suck cock
they do not want to do that
lesbians
they do not want to suck cock
what they want to do
in the stead of that
lesbians
is to eat minge
lesbians
they want to eat glorious minge
to their hearts content
the message here is
unequivocally that
you do not try to feed your cock
inch by inch
into the mouth of a lesbian
you do not do that ever
as a man
no
not to a lesbian
you can do that
feed your erect cock into her mouth
inch by inch
to a woman (heterosexual)
but not as previously stated
to a lesbian (homosexual)
a lesbian does not ever want
under any circumstances
have your cock filling her mouth
with your semen
this is the modern meaning
of beautiful lesbians.

0 Comments
2024/04/03
05:17 UTC

1

Shut it off

Shut it off

My dick’s stronger than my brain

Shut it off

I feel I’m going insane

Just one beautiful girl

For the rest of my life

Just reciprocate with love

Make us feel alright

Tired of all the chasing

The searching, the yearning

I want to tap out

No match for what I’m facing

Shut it off

My dick’s stronger than my brain

Shut it off

I feel I’m going insane

0 Comments
2024/04/03
04:54 UTC

2

Hearty

I held out my heart and you ate it. I asked you just to hold it but now the pieces lay between your teeth. You are annoyed by how bitter it is— I made yours sweeter. You didn’t kill me, though I am not stronger. I need you now; the deep, empty hole in my heart belongs to you.

0 Comments
2024/04/03
02:11 UTC

1

Death metal messiah, my mind is misery.

Suicide, genocide powerful thoughts. The sour power devoured from the rage of the hour. My mind is misery, a mystery from the years of mental abuse from those that I trusted. My mind is misery, from the young age I was. Even as a child thoughts raced through my brain like a train. Power through everyday is a struggle. All I need is one night, one fight with the demons inside. To take all the pain away I need to be in vain. The veins in my body need to bleed out to rid myself of the pain from yesterday. Depression suppression weeds out the elimination. If you feel as I feel join me to the after glow. Take a blow to the head with the gun of the dead. Take pride in the decision of life. If we have full control then there is no stopping the inevitability of what some call invincibility. To be old may be gold to you. But my youth is nothing more than a photo of what I once was and what I will be. Habits of self destruction is what made me me. I made a bed I must lie in. Truth be told I will never be old. As I feel the bold will never forsee the degree of degradation the human race has brought amongst themselves. As the ancient roll in their grave, although they were the brave, the weak has prevailed in the society that has been built through the ashes of elders. May the misery in your brain cease, and the veins that pump your blood embalm the cocoon of future failures.

0 Comments
2024/04/03
01:44 UTC

1

to unlock your fears. just to become angry

0 Comments
2024/04/02
22:01 UTC

2

Dog Lovers.

If you have or desire to have
a group of dog lovers
and this is supposed to be a group of dog lovers
where only dog lovers are allowed
I think that that is fair and right enough
and that such a group as that
a group of people who are dog lovers
ought to be allowed and permitted
to form and to join together in a body and in a spirit
and to meet and to associate
and to love each other according to their own rules
patterns desires ideas and regulations
and that this group of dog lovers
ought to be free to admit or to bar from entry to the group
any person for any reason according to the will of the group
in relation to the harmony which they are seeking
and according to the love which it is intended to experience and to manifest therein
for me this is
or would be
were it to be permitted
an example of fairness in our society because
I believe that all people should or must be free
to experience mutual love
according to their own original and natural and native inclinations
such as a group of dog lovers
ought to be welcomed into society
as an asset as a prestige and as a boon.

2 Comments
2024/04/02
18:26 UTC

1

A poem for James

0 Comments
2024/04/02
15:23 UTC

0

Untitled hiaku

Hiakus can be strange.

Sometimes, they just make no sense.

Refrigerator.

1 Comment
2024/04/02
13:23 UTC

1

The Third Worst Poem in the Entire History of the Universe (not original content)

Oh freddled gruntbuggly,
Thy micturations are to me, (with big yawning)
As plurdled gabbleblotchits, in midsummer morning
On a lurgid bee,
That mordiously hath blurted out,
Its earted jurtles, grumbling
Into a rancid festering confectious organ squealer. [drowned out by moaning and screaming]
Now the jurpling slayjid agrocrustles,
Are slurping hagrilly up the axlegrurts,
And living glupules frart and stipulate,
Like jowling meated liverslime,
Groop, I implore thee, my foonting turlingdromes,
And hooptiously drangle me,
With crinkly bindlewurdles,mashurbitries.
Or else I shall rend thee in the gobberwarts with my blurglecruncheon,
See if I don't!

1 Comment
2024/04/02
11:15 UTC

0

Men are the ejaculation nation.

Men are the ejaculation nation
men are engaged
upon a semen emission mission
to dump out their junk
to issue their spunk
upon her fresh young face
for a royal commision
men are the ejaculation nation
a breed of noble and of seminal distinction
to fling out their filth
upon virgin or MILF
to thrill her to drill her
to rent out completely
the post of the pillar
the full brass knobs sexual edition
men are the ejaculation nation.
(reminder for women - don't forget to swallow it all down like a good girl).

0 Comments
2024/04/02
05:43 UTC

4

Fracture

I look down
as I walk down empty streets, pretending to only watch my feet

I look down
ashamed now, even as we speak, hiding is my only technique

I look down
away from your ocean eyes of blue, hoping I can hide from what's true

I look up
my eyes beg you to stay, your heart goes silent as you walk away

I look up
and search for my sun, longing for its warmth, but finding none

I look up
my sky breaks and turns dark, mirroring the fracture in my heart

2 Comments
2024/04/02
01:48 UTC

3

The aftermath of being right

I hate it when I'm right. My chest feels so very

TIGHT.

Tight.

tight...

I think I'm losing my shit.

Why should I fight?

For dreams of tender moments with you?

Seems you always have someone new.

Sometimes it feels so pointless trying to not be so lonely.

Perhaps if I weren't so fucking homely.

Maybe if I were harder than gypsum.

I'd be more than someone's lorem ipsum.

3 Comments
2024/04/02
00:46 UTC

1

going meatless makes your veggies pop and it feels closer to guiltless.

a mason bee on a black water lily

this heart of mine

is beyond control

land on it like

a mason bee

on a flower

tell it what it is

tell it what it is

what i am

as i try to kiss you(r) back

and the seed that your beauty

plants in me

dark drowning water

a scently death

drown in my water

as i drownd in desperation

in yours

...

so many stolen moments

2 Comments
2024/04/01
22:19 UTC

4

Pasta water is deliciously starchy and you should save some to make the pasta sauce you put on your pasta cause it's pretty good

The other day I was sad

Cause this woman

That I like

Said something that made me sad

But that ain't her problem

That's all me

It would be bad

So bad

It made me sad

But I didn't speak

Cause I figured

That would be awkward

And it's not her problem

I had no right

To feel that way

But my heart

Lept and ached

Instead I laughed

And made a joke

So things wouldn't be weird

But if I could

I'd make it clear

That I think i love her

If I could

Man if only I fucking could

4 Comments
2024/04/01
21:12 UTC

2

after spending some time alone. to be overtly excited by people. like a dog

0 Comments
2024/04/01
20:49 UTC

0

There is sex and gender.

There is sex
sex
proper fucking sex
and gender
gender
proper fucking gender
sex and gender
with sex
this is where she is sucking your cock
with sex
and necking your whack delicious
swallowing it all the time
with sex
like there is no tomorrow
fastidious
in Enfield town
with sex
but as to gender
this is where you are poncing about
with gender
you are poncing about
with gender
like a primped up and like a puffed up
and like a poncing cockerel buffoon
with gender
but not with sex
there is darkness
and it is noon.

2 Comments
2024/04/01
18:42 UTC

0

The shaven minge.

One thing that I like
is physical reality
I love you
in reality
is in physical reality
your breasts
I love them
including the nipples
of your breasts
in reality
is in physical reality
your pussy
I love it
the shaven minge
the critical dare
in reality
tweaking and throbbing and irking there
the job lot
the package
in reality
in physical reality
an electric chair.

2 Comments
2024/04/01
18:21 UTC

0

< the orgasm of our crime.

In our history
there have been periodic cataclysmic upheavals
paroxysms and furies
and there must be some more coming
paroxysms and furies
I don't know what they are
China is an experiment in totalitarian management
where the limits of it all have been tested
but this is not new
it has been like that for a very long time
down there
if anybody lives in a city that has ever been bombed in the past
there is no good reason to suppose that it will not happen again
in that same city
is there
we are a species that bombs itself
one that likes to explode bombs on itself
this is the orgasm of our crime.

0 Comments
2024/04/01
17:48 UTC

1

stains of time

no sooner than I'd settled on the couch
mourning a trying week and seeking peace
an inbound chocolate slyly fled my mouth
and, unknown to me, found home in a crease
the cloth went unexamined for a time
below the weight and heat a body brings
it might occur, had I a better mind
to conduct routine cleaning on such things
that which is lost yet languishes in vain
contrasting the immensity of time
which winds perpetually without strain
its purpose void, the one true paradigm
friend only to fate, time expose all snacks
and make it look like I had shit my slacks

0 Comments
2024/04/01
17:28 UTC

1

I hate it when I'm right.

As I said, I hate it when I'm right.

I hate how much it hurts. This feeling is a blight

I don't know if there is a thing that will make this shit alright.

At the end of the day I can say "well, at least I was right."

3 Comments
2024/04/01
13:27 UTC

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