This wretched body grows fat and alone This tiny house is all I've known I've looked to the skies but I've never flown I contemplate my hanging tomb Was I meant for more than this?

But in my heart is colour and light And I take to the skies like a child's new kite And freedom taunts my cell at night And it aches like a missing limb.

I wanted to be more than this But as I weave my chrysalis My time is short, is this all there is? Or can I rise again?

It's still vocalized

once you silence me for good,

you won't see it coming

its all tests and games

just kill me already

end me

you're all the same

As satisfying as a cigaretteAfter the last bite of a meal,Or the warmth of a shower,When the cold day won't heal. A cup of hot chocolate,While cradled out in the snow, A hug from a loved one,Like the softest, safe place to go. The rain tapping gently,On a window at night,The smell of fresh bread,Baking in golden light. A hearty laugh, causing tears to fall from your eyes,Tears like little riversThat carry the weight of the skies

Cereal's in a bowl

Bowl is on the moon

Cereal's coming down

To our world soon;

Bacon's on the hog

Hog has got a squint

Butcher in the book

Is a little bit bent;

Coffee's in a bean

Bean is in Brazil

Grab it by its neck

And throw it on the grill;

Toaster is on fire

Flames fly all around

Eat your breakfast dad

Then go to work in town;

Cereal's in a bowl

Bowl is on the moon

Cereal's coming down

To our world soon,

Cereal's coming down

To our world soon.

I had a grandfather. When I was three three he shot his brains out with a gun by a river.

My uncle jumped off a bridge and two left behind two daughters.

I'm haunted. I'm the third generation. Intrusive suicidal thoughts? Haunted nightmares. Why did they do it. Why do I feel my life is drawn to it the same ending?

Getting through life. Like my life depended on it. Ominous imaginings. Doesn't feel imminent.

Land of the cowarda. Home of the fucked and lost. A cursed land and a cursed people that live on it.

We betrayed our hosts. Genocide. We act like it's not real. Like we just deserve it all. We're thieves. Leftovers. Murderers. Sick.

I am going on an adventure,

my basket is packed with fruits and snacks,

we hike and bike and jump over cracks,

telling stories and silence

we leave at dawn

lets have each other's backs,

an autumn trail filled with leaves,

sweat and hacky sacks

let's get lost in colors and dreams,

play hide and seek til one screams

what are you waiting for

come along

we'll go far for more

see what's in store this nightmare no way what a day

we'll fight until one jumps in bay

save the other dont let them lay

for i will not rest with you away

your blood is mine or i will pay,

i'll bring a tent, we will camp no delay

don't cross that line, are you blind?

have you checked the time?

the compass, our crime

its getting cold the sky is all grey

let us

hold hands and fall to our knees and fuss and pray

sleep over night with nothing in sight

get eaten alive by the moon

begging for the sun to show up soon

shivering, cuddled together

damn near frostbit suffocating in your scent

hit by hit

in our fun, little cocoon this adventure

pure and shit

come on let's plan come on sit

you cant leave me be

will you come with me?

get close to me these sleeping bags

our rags

let's mix, let's see

come along don't go right ahead

don't leave

that's not what was planned

that's not what you said.

i hate how i’m not walking forward. walking back to old patterns is exhausting but comforting.

im frustrated. i just want someone to hold me. i want to listen to the noise of happiness sadness guilt frustration coming from another; i wanna hear their day’s stories.

i want to hold someone and call them my own.

Give me a little scratch, go on just a little one. Just one light scratch, that’s all I need. I won’t pester you anymore. You can trust me.

Why are you ignoring me? Hey! I’m talking to you! I can make the itch so much worse. Oh you’ve done it now. I’ll make the itch unbearable. I’ll make it so bad that you’ll wish for a bear to claw your skin off.

Your resistance is impressive but futile. That’s right, pretend you don’t care. Ah, now your putting soothing ointment on me. Fool, you know that won’t work for long. I have all the time in the world. That stupid ointment will wear off. Then you will be mine again.

I’m back. You’re really suffering now aren’t you? I’m back and stronger than ever. That will teach you to ignore me. It feels like a thousand bugs are crawling all over you. Feels like they’re nibbling on your delicate skin. Nibble nibble nibble.

That’s right, scratch away. Ah yeah that’s the stuff. Harder, more, scratch it all off. Keep going. More more more. Ah now you’re using the scratching stick. Good thinking.

The relief is overwhelming, orgasmic even. Why did you wait so long? Oops, you’ve scratched too hard now you’re bleeding. Don’t feel bad it had to be done. What’s a little blood between friends. Uh oh, more blood. Hey, why worry it be ok. Stop complaining. Why won’t you admit you like it? Admit that it stopped the itch. Admit that you are addicted. Admit it I dare you.

When did it happen? When did I give up? How did it happen? Why did I give up? When did it all go wrong?

When was the exact moment my soul left my mind? When did my consciousness float away from me? How can I bring it back?

I’m lost, I need guide. If I can’t have a guide a map will do. Cos where my consciousness is I have no clue.

I'm on lowercase reddit, where bots and losers harvest social credit.

This be lowercase reddit, i bring nothing but bad grammar and opinions but i'm too lazy to edit.

If i had the power of moderation that'd be an abomination.

It'd be nothing but free speech and a trollish domination.

You see i used to frequent forums but then the net got small.

Now i'm a bad sport and i refuse to play ball.

I'm the one man band that gets frequently banned.

The whole net witnessed the crime but got their heads in the sand.

I paint the town uppercase Red, but still, if i leave this place, you'll be uppercase Dead.

I don't care for your lowercase dread.

This be lowercase reddit and all your heroes have fled.

FIN

not dying for a wish

would sacrifice myself for one

when it;s all said and done

though

i'd die today for a justice i won't know

an eye for an eye

ive already lost many, my guy

no blood shed, remove their head

let's all end up dead

legally

and drain their cup

lock em up, facing their walls

our downfalls

my final breaths choking smiles

in bed snuggled tied tight

oh i'll see red alright

There’s not an excuse in the world to justify what this is. It’s truly just man devolving into its worst form. Generations of sheltered wealth, white privilege, masculine superiority complexes, women who hate other woman, racist cultists, and degenerate economic bros all rolled into one party. I sincerely don’t know how they take themselves seriously. I can’t anymore, I’m done pretending it’s something reasonable. It’s not. It never was from the start. It’s just plain awful. Inhuman and just disgusting. This country truly left its populace to suffer in ignorance. To buy whatever the newest item your orange overlord is selling you. What failed? Education? Politics? Communities? Most like some from all three. So what do we do? At this point it just feels like we just wait until most of em die out. That seems to be most of their demographic But scary to me how little our generation puts thought into dawning the “Make America Great Again” Hat To get a bag is respectable. To let that bag convince you hate and prejudice are okay. Now that is reprehensible. Yet their leader runs on the idea this is human nature. And I think that is what’s scariest of all. That people think it’s okay. That I have live in world where people skipped 4th grade history. Where they never bothered to learn empathy or compassion. Where people never fucking took the time humble themselves. Not before God, not before some great being or purpose. But to people. They’ve never sat in a circle of friends and said to themselves, “I’m talking too much” or “People are uninterested in what I have to say.” And adjusted. No they have never, not once in their god forsaken lives bothered to accommodate themselves to others. They’ve never brought anything to potluck. They don’t bother to ask if this is a shoes off or on type house. And they surely have never sat through a movie they didn’t like for a friend. They don’t care about other people. Other people are obstacles in the way of their liberties. Or they are objects to be fucked or fucked over. Sometimes both at the same time. They make my skin crawl, My teeth clench. I saw one waving a flag outside my college on Election Day. He waved a giant flag at the intersection of the two busiest roads in my city. Right in between the roads, on a little pedestrian island that some students walk across to get to campus. The flag read: Trump & Pence 2020 The motherfucker couldn’t even bother to get the right flag. For some reason and mostly because he bothers to associate with that man, I just wanted to push him into traffic. See if that flag will save him. See if Trump himself would descend from the heavens and pick that man up out of the road. You think he would? You think if Trump saw me push that man into the road he’d do anything to stop me? You think he has people in his life that would save him, at least? A wife that’s watching him out there on that road from their car? Children that are wondering where daddy has gone? Parents that wonder where they went wrong? Or is that flag and what it represents all he’s got? He sure waved it with enough fervor to be true. And if that’s the case. If that truly horrible man has nothing left. Well, I’d still push him in traffic. But I didn’t, because Guess what. I’m not awful.

Little girl reads the books that tell her what a lady is. A lady is sweet A lady is quiet A lady never complains A lady is pretty and delicate A lady is fragile A lady is a woman who people want to rescue.

Little girl needs help. Little girl is bullied Little girl is beaten Little girl doesn’t look like the pictures in the books. Little girl complains Little girl won’t be quiet, she will fight back. Little girl grows strong, she will never be fragile again. Little girl will never be treated like a lady.

Little girl grew up without being rescued by The Knight. She’s strong and proud yet sad and envious. Her ladylike friends never got beaten. Men always leapt to their defence. They get the attention and efforts to impress. She feels invisible and unloved. She doesn’t know how to act. Should she be herself? Or should she be the lady?

Why does she have to be the lady? Why can’t she enjoy her strength? Why isn’t she appreciated? Why can’t she see that being strong is also feminine. Why is she ashamed of what wasn’t her fault?

Ladies blame themselves for others cruelty. Maybe she is a real lady after all.

Oh how I hate you. I hate you to my very core. I hate you with every cell in my body right down to my dna.

Even your name makes my blood boil. I hate your Immorality, Loathe your charm and smarm. Despise the way you made me love you, only to get bored. But most of all I hate myself for being so naive.

Foolish ones get picked by manipulative pricks. Experience is the shield that wise ones must wield. Now where did I put it.

Submerged in doubts, these feelings never changed.
Purged all evidence, and the truth feels estranged.
Staged all this positivity, my smile, a mask engaged.
Emerged from the bottom, surfacing's urged.
Flawed, I clawed, at a feeling unnamed.
Blamed, the opposite of mistakes enraged,
Pledged, thoroughly wedged and shamed.
Claimed, enflamed and the lies merged.
Urged to forget, everything has been arranged.

I was whole, Then I found a hole. Now I feel hollow...

Look at me, I’m so busy. Sorry can’t stay for a chat, I’m so busy. You had a lazy weekend oh lucky you, I’m just so busy. Did I tell you about my new job and my new house? Did I tell you about my kid getting straight As? Did I tell you about my holiday in The Maldives? I can see you admiring my Louis Vuitton.

My eyes glaze, My mind is a haze. Brag brag brag. On and on it goes. Where it stops nobody knows.

Why must you torment me? Why do you never stop?

Day in day out, never sleeping, never stopping to rest. The voice in my head that never gives me peace. The knife that slices through my soul. The voice of a thousand insults, the voice of many beatings.

You enjoy your work don’t you. You lie in wait for my next failure. Ready to pounce, ready to eat away at my soul.

You tell me you care, You tell me that it’s for my own good. You are not my motivator, you are my torturer.

I will make you stop I will make you change, no matter how long it takes. You will obey me you heartless motherfucker. My inner bully will stop.

Kicking rocks with holes in my socks.
I think I was a man once behind keys and locks.
What's so gangster about saggy pants and Glocks?

I see holes in the news, like my toes through my shoes.
I think I was crazy once, too many clues, not enough views.
Paying dues, to all the cues, but I can't stomach the pews.

Another obvious lie from the preacher guy like the political guy,
Why do I even try to get by as a stand up guy?
I think I had morals once, I think it makes me cry,

That they kept me warm through every storm.
Holes in my shirts and shorts have become the norm.
My life hack for my six-pack is don't fight hunger's swarm.
I think I stand out unless poverty becomes popularity's conform.

The whole of my soul feels the mourn.
I think my regrets started before the day I think I was born.

I hate the sound of useless stupid words.
I hate the sound of happy birds.
I hate the feeling of thoughtless herds.
I hate the feeling of ceaseless suburbs.
I hate the firsts, the seconds, and the thirds.
I hate the zombie-like, senseless hoards.
I hate the live by the gun, die by the swords.
I hate things like kings, ladies and lords.
I hate money and the comforts it affords.
I hate the time spent on hunting empty rewards.
I hate that jayz won 17 Grammy Awards,
Since he married Beyonce and made shitty records.

Destiny is a gaping hole,
A hole that I must plunder.

Onwards I go
It is time to start

Thoughts swirling around, the emotions come fast. Hanging on by our fingertips, knowing that this spiral could be our last. Senses become numb because nothing seems to make sense. No more dancing in the rain, no more breath of fresh air. I gave you all of me, no more secrets left to share. But sure, we'll pretend we're alright. Just survive the dense fog of the night. Swerving through traffic, hit the gas and feel a rush. Gambling with today because the thought of tomorrow is too much. You said I was enough, but now i have no cold hands to clutch. Dreams of tomorrow are now my nightmare. Thinking back to when you said "you know I care..". Words falling like leaves on a tree changing season. And now you just left me with no clear reason. I should have known, loving you was a mistake from the start. I would have done anything for you, but how do i warm a cold heart?

Inside my mind but not in my body. Inside my own head but not in my mind. What is this feeling that overtakes me? Why can’t I describe it?

Did I pass out without passing out? Was it a dream? How did the last few moments just vanish? Where did I go?

Maybe I’m just tired, Maybe I just need more sleep, Maybe, just maybe I need an escape. Escape from myself, escape from my thoughts. I like it even though it unnerves me. It’s good to be unnerved.

Yeah baby,
Shake yo bobblehead,
I don't want no bubblebutt,
I just want your huge ass head,

Bobblebobblebobblehead

Do the frog now

REEBRIBRIBRIBREEBRIBRIBRIBREEB

ultra frog mode

CROAKcroakCROAK

Please don't leave me

In the jungle,
The mighty jungle,
I wish the lion would shut the fuck up

Eeeooeeooowombombawehhhhh

Shut up cunt

Rarely on the front burner, but when I am I'm boiling over-

Shit,

I miss when blood felt productive

Like culling birds

I wish I had that dog in me, in me to lie down and rot,

But I don't think the burning would stop no-

My god!

Decay by any other name would still smell as sweet

But the teeth! The Teeth!

I'd chew through my bones to seep into the floor

To stain the concrete black like a grinning skull and wait-

Why?

Because to float in truth is the same thing as to drown

To fade is as it is to burn, to scream as it is to contort

Fall asleep as it is to fly

Live as it is to violate

Consume as it is to devastate

Comfort as it is to flood

To write is as it is to kill, to tell, to burn-

I hate everything

All kinds of sight

It makes me sick

All kids of sound

It makes my ears bleed

All kinds of smell

It makes me want to die

I hate myself

I hate everyone

I hate the world

I hate my dreams

I hate reality

I hate God

I hate my mom and dad

I don't hate anything

I guess it was just a feeling

Probably overwhelmed

Craving for an embrace

I am tired

I wanna die

I want to breathe

I want to disappear

I want to overcome

Fuck everything

They fucked me up

The reason for my insanity

I want to heal

Someone send me help

He works at subway, he is a sandwich artiste, his mind is full of grief, his body full of scars, his ear absconded from his body, his is the troubled artiste, he is the vincent van gogh of sandwiches.

“You’re so responsible; You’re so independent; You’re so smart.” I deserve an Oscar.