/r/ShittySeduction

Photograph via snooOG

Yes, hello.

I started this a long time ago as a joke. I don't like the joke anymore.

/r/ShittySeduction

5,092 Subscribers

3

The real reason many are bitter

0 Comments
2023/05/28
12:23 UTC

10

When she asks you to be careful when you "pull out", do the smart thing...

Make sure to check the undercarriage, all four wheels, your mirror and your brakes before backing your vehicle out of her driveway to head home after a nice date.

0 Comments
2023/03/01
17:16 UTC

9

I tried negging for the first time during an in-field session and got called out for racism?

2 Comments
2022/12/09
13:08 UTC

8

What type of net works best for capturing women in an urban environment?

2 Comments
2022/06/18
11:49 UTC

12

What is the best bag of insects to bring on your first date?

Everyone remembers their first bag. Whoever had the largest bag got the date. I know this is pretty old fashioned but some people think that's charming. Ideas?

1 Comment
2021/11/03
06:12 UTC

13

I am interested in this sort of cute girl, how soon can i tell her...

tits or gtfo / sharpie in the pooper?

2 Comments
2020/11/23
18:23 UTC

2

field report: women sending me salacious messages. at all hours.

the woman always calling me at the middle of the night to ask for the sex. sometimes they send me the seductive snapchat or the coy meme of an evening on the instragram and i just don't know what to do. sometimes i think of a woman and the boobs therein and i just can't help but find a tent in my trous, but on another occasion nothing will do it. by the time i'm done reading all of the words on my phone and it's 3am i am straight up exhausted and then i have to deal with woman sending me photographs of all sorts.

i just want to sleep. how do i turn off notifications on my i phone?

3 Comments
2019/10/14
20:43 UTC

0

How to get a date fast | Faioso (Don’t Do This!)

0 Comments
2019/08/18
07:09 UTC

11

When can you ask to suck her toes?

I usually do it before the first date and that has not been going so well for me. How about you guys?

3 Comments
2019/03/31
02:23 UTC

5

How do I get this girl's attention

The girls in my computer never answer back even when I yell as loud as I can.

1 Comment
2018/10/08
03:09 UTC

43

Hot girls have daddy issues, and paternal traits turn them on. So open with, "Are you single?", and if she says yes, say, "Hi single, I'm dad"

1 Comment
2018/09/05
23:12 UTC

9

"Said" is the most powerful tool in "said"uction. After you delivered your best, let him/her make the next move. Good things come to those who wait.

0 Comments
2018/07/14
04:30 UTC

15

TIFU by posting in the wrong subreddit

2 Comments
2018/07/02
02:21 UTC

20

"If you don't sleep with me that's against my free speech."

0 Comments
2018/06/01
01:47 UTC

12

Sure trick to get a date

Pickpocket her phone. When she calls it, its your time to set up dinner

1 Comment
2018/03/14
02:15 UTC

21

#YouToo??

1 Comment
2018/02/12
02:29 UTC

10

The First Principal of Catfishing: You can't catfish someone else until you have first catfished yourself.

Mastery in the Art of Seduction^TM method for Banging Bad Bitches emphasizes training first. You must gain mastery of yourself before you may gain mastery of another through social media.

For the first lesson, you are required to read about Markov chains and procedural generation, then teach yourself coding until you develop a Turing Perfect chat AI that convinces you to send nudes and blackmails you.

1 Comment
2018/01/17
13:02 UTC

9

Shove an entire soccer ball up your ass and send it to people at your office

No context. Cc everyone. Cover your face with a paper bag to deny it's you so that you can save face in case no one is into it

2 Comments
2017/12/17
04:37 UTC

10

GIRLS GO CRAZY over mimes.

Mimes are expressive, show their feelings, never talk over their dates. They wear even more makeup than their lady friends, so they can relate (or they would, if they talked.) Present yourself as a full-time reincarnation of Marcel Marceau, and the chicks will be eating out of your gloves.

0 Comments
2017/12/09
23:40 UTC

8

Thine love is like diarrhea

It hath come out o' constant.

3 Comments
2017/12/06
04:06 UTC

9

stand on the street holding flowers, looking sad and hopeful, and offer the flowers to every pretty lady

0 Comments
2017/10/14
17:01 UTC

10

field report: is it the end? (sad story)

breaking up is as hard as my willy after see pic of kate uptown boob! (upvote if you know what i mean lads) yeah i knew that already but it was still a tough time i just had so please be respectful and mature and upvote.

i had dating this chick for about 7month 12days 4hours. she was a HB8.9, soft to the touch, hard to the sex (yes i had sex with her). we had a great times both in the bedroom and not, and sometimes we would hold hands in public, so it was pretty serious. yea i know what your thinking "Busta234 i thought you were with love for all the lady's in the world and sex having for a similar number" yes it's true but in this case it was another level of being twitterpated. may be we were in love.

anyway i come to her house one night from sarging (you never know when the tactic will be neede and a muscle you don't use, you don't know what you've got til it's gone - counting crow's) and she is pised off instead of being sleep. "what?" is what i said

"Busta234 i am not doing this any more," she says. "i now know why you spend so long out at night instead of being here with me." she founded my reddit account. all my good posts. all my hot reports from the last few months doin models and doin good advices.

she says i cheat on her which is stupid because my field reports are all TRUE i NEVER cheat not even math test where i easily could have because mr kiffin never check. yes i told her it was monogramous but my research (and sex having in the (inter)course of it) obviously don't count.

i try to tell her but she just gets more pised. in that moment she was no longer HB8.9. yes sedition it tru she turn angry and become HB6.476. she say her mom (who ISNT EVEN HOT) was "right about me". wtf?

i try to do technique like magic trick, pea cock, negligence, text game, inner game, other game (bridge/chess) but it's no use, she leave out the door and won't respond to my imessage messages or stripping apology video on snap chat.

morel of the story is don't let girl see reddit account if your a stud >:) very lonely now

0 Comments
2017/10/09
08:08 UTC

10

They call my dick the Female Genital Mutilator.

0 Comments
2017/10/07
20:35 UTC

7

How to give MAD MYSTERIOUS VIBES and be the guy no one really knows but EVERY CHICK FALLS for

Women aren't stupid. Even though muscular, popular guys who speak their stupid minds loudly catch their attention, they have the brain to see who is the guy who will actually take care of her.

You have to create the mysterious vibe. You know the good ol advice "talk less, listen more". Be silent! Create a vague picture of yourself, wear suits so people know you are onto something serious, sunglasses and a hat will compliment it well and it will help the vibe. Always walk with a very serious face because it will express that you take life seriously and you have a higher goal.

People will sometimes look at you, and will rarely speak to you, but while they will go to sleep, all they are gonna be thinking of is who the hell is that handsome guy.

2 Comments
2017/09/14
17:21 UTC

2

[FIELD REPORT] How I Smashed A Sexy Ass Chink Bitch

Hey fellow PUAs, here is my field report, get your dick out of your hand, grab a pen, and take note!

I was practicing day game so I looked for chickeys in my HS hall. I saw a HB 7 asian girlie so I went up to her.

With my feet pounding the floor, I took confident steps when I walked up to her, and I did it fast and surprisingly, so that she knows Im a busy person and so my surprise will flatter her (mind you bitch, the surprise for you is waiting in my pants!

Body language is everything. I pushed my chest and flexed all my muscles so she will get the alpha vibe. You may worry about seeming like a threat, but if you do a big teeth showing smile, there is nothing to worry about.

I also stood really close to her, because it creates a really intimate vibe. When girls question why are you doing this, just tell them you cant hear well.

When you are standing in front of her, wait for the girl to say "hi" because he golden rule of negotiations is "He who speaks first loses". Then you can say hi with a smile, but after that, put on a resting bitchface, for as you know, women just push themselves at guys who dont give a shit about them.

You then say "Whats the time". Yes, you dont ask it, you say it. Pay attention to not say it with a rising tone, and say it like you are some detective from a 60's movies investigating a murder, she will love it.

At this point she might react negatively: this is an obvious shit test. She hates sexy alphas like you so she tries to tell herself that you suck, but in the end she will fall for the cock.

She will reach for her phone, and thats where the alpha move goes. As she is showing the phone screen, you point at it and say "Whats that". She will look closer, and as she is distracted and confused you kiss her cheek.

There you have it. You just declared yourself the most alpha man in her life and she doesnt even know you yet. With such an impressive introduction, progressing the thing will be as easy as pushing a button on the cocksucker machine.

You dont really have anything to do after that, the best thing I recommend is to just walk away confidently. It creates a strong mystical, magical, and vague vibe, she will think about you all day long. If you are doing it in the hallway and there are people around you, you want to show off a bit, so after walking away put on Terminator sunglasses, slowly.

2 Comments
2017/09/11
16:38 UTC

6

How to score hot bitches you find on the street IMMEDIATELY

  1. go up to her

2 show a funny maymay from r/funny

3 tell her to come with you to a restaurant, maintain deep eye contact and be a bit of aggressive so you will maintain frame and build attraction

4 respect her

5 ask permission to maintain eye contact during dinner

6 pay for it like a gentleman, give tip, and pay her 100$ in reward for being a good woman

7 ???

8 the gentleman vibe will get her so horny that she will jump on your dick

4 Comments
2017/09/10
20:00 UTC

14

Pro tip; act like a socially awkward, detached, social retard and the mates will flock to you like giraffes to a salt lick.

A smoking hot girl I wasn't particularly interested in / wasn't sure at the time started liking me more as I acted more and more retarded. 100% success rate.

Some things I do which increased success;

Hold arms like a t-rex does.

Limp everywhere.

Slow dance when there is no music playing.

Rock backwards and forwards when you play video games.

Don't dance when you go to a club, stand like a t-rex.

When she asks if you want to sleep in her bed, offer to sleep on the floor without a pillow or blankets.

If she still insists and you are wearing a jacket, don't take off the jacket and hop in her bed.

Make weird noises all the time.

4 Comments
2017/09/08
13:06 UTC

Back To Top