/r/ShittyAskCooking

Photograph via snooOG

Get your cast iron skillet and cast iron stomach seasoned with the advice of reddit's finest chefs.


If your brilliant recipe gets stuck in the SpamTM filter, feel free to message the mods.


If you are posting a picture of food, PLEASE include the detailed recipe in the comments. Keep in mind, the mods of ShittyAskCooking require ingredient weight measurements to be listed to at least 5 decimal places of precision. The recipe should also be notarized. Submitters who fail to do so may have their posts removed and used to grow various nutritional yeast products.

Random mixing of metric and imperial measurements encouraged.


Just in time for the apocalypse, /r/shittysuboftheweek just went live!

/r/ShittyAskCooking

2,924 Subscribers

16

How many bodies do I need for blood pudding?

0 Comments
2020/04/02
14:32 UTC

13

How much Cheese do I need to add to my Cheesecake?

I've looked at many recipes online, but none of them mention any kind of cheese in the Ingredients list. I really want to impress my friends by making the original cheesecake, not those fake vegan alternatives that are popular today. How much and what kind of cheese would I need to do this?

1 Comment
2020/03/16
12:43 UTC

8

If I boil water overnight, but then freeze it for a few hours, do I successfully create vodka?

6 Comments
2020/02/10
03:49 UTC

10

I dropped the jar of peanut butter in the toilet is there any way to save it? Please hurry I am entertaining guests

3 Comments
2020/02/06
23:21 UTC

7

What's the best way to cook a VHS tape?

4 Comments
2019/12/20
03:11 UTC

4

How many nipples do you put in your nipple pie?

5 Comments
2019/12/18
05:03 UTC

8

I don't have pasta sauce. How bad would a can of Manwich be on frozen raviolis?

4 Comments
2019/12/16
06:15 UTC

16

So ranch dressing counts as a beverage right?

5 Comments
2019/11/07
03:28 UTC

3

Based on this recipe how much is 1 serving?

I'm embarrassingly bad at math so food recipes can be difficult for me. I am also trying to log my food to lose weight so I want to get the precise measurements down.

I am cooking this oatmeal recipe below. It says it is for 8 servings but I cannot figure out how much is 1 serving: https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-xo_dwGMm19k/XcG_jH2O7YI/AAAAAAAAE08/xFlfms7yqLcEItLLPP4TkIt6IOnVpykfACK8BGAsYHg/s0/2019-11-05.jpg

Based on the oatmeal instructions 1 serving is 1/4 cup uncooked: https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0063/4686/6803/products/81BNaFHiklL_1024x1024@2x.jpg?v=1550315101

But 8 servings / .25 (or 1/4 cup) is 32 or 8/25 ?! I don't even know what that means. I just want to know how many cups COOKED is 1 serving.

Ugh, life is hard for an idiot...

7 Comments
2019/11/05
18:52 UTC

1

Trying to Make Farmer's Mash

Hey Guys. I am trying to make Farmer's mash. A dish that is kinda like dirty Rice, but with more beans and tomatoes in it. It is very good for people who are need-based cookers, just make lots of it and eat it because ingredients are easy to find. So far, I have been using a tomato sauce, chopped onions, ground beef and black beans in a skillet, then dumping it over white rice. I want a bit more freshness to it. I don't want to add cheese. I thought raw cilantro or green onions would work, what do you think would be good?

2 Comments
2019/10/21
20:06 UTC

16

Looking for recipes for Cocaine Shrimp

2 Comments
2019/05/04
00:34 UTC

8

Ceviche Chicken Update.

I tried it. I used 50/50 mix if Sprite and Mountain Dew. I let It "cook" for 48 hours. It tasted pretty good. Anyway, I just got my bill from my ICU stay for some weird stomach bug I had. 39k! Luckily I got to eat my ceviche chicken before I got that "salamander sickness" or whatever the doctors were talking about. Anyway, 10/10 would recommend.

2 Comments
2019/04/24
02:28 UTC

20

How to stop milk from turning chunky and spoiled?

I’ve been buying milk for YEARS but still have no idea how to make is last more than a day. I put it in a very secure cabinet, no bugs or anything nasty, and keep the lid on VERY tight, but it still spoils. Help?

4 Comments
2019/03/22
01:50 UTC

11

Can I ceviche a chicken?

4 Comments
2019/03/13
20:35 UTC

25

How do you fry an egg to get it like this?

1 Comment
2019/03/08
08:32 UTC

8

Marijuana-infused peppercorn sauce - risky?

If I use cannabutter when making a peppercorn sauce for my rib-eyes, how high are the stakes?

Also, canna use half a standard canna cannabutter?

Thanks in advance.

2 Comments
2019/02/16
14:39 UTC

4

What if I add some more vodka to vodka pasta sauce, and eat it with pasta?

What if I add some more vodka to vodka pasta sauce, and eat it with pasta?

Would it be gross?

Would it be intoxicating?

I know this is r/ShittyAskCooking, but as with my previous question here, I am actually considering doing this.

7 Comments
2019/01/28
22:10 UTC

4

Anyone with experience cooking black eyed peas?

For some reason Will.I.Am is coming out really chewy. Last year Fergie was excellent but I’m struggling this year.

2 Comments
2019/01/01
19:23 UTC

6

If I’m cooking a steak for two hours at 200, and the Amtrak leaves Central station at noon, why does my polenta taste like cheese?

I’ve tried everything, but the polenta I made still tastes like cheese! I’ve added nothing except cheese, butter, salt, and pepper, but still it is yellow and cheesy. How fix?

4 Comments
2018/12/10
14:30 UTC

7

How do you switch on a chicken?

Title says it all really. I need to know how to switch on a chicken. Does my laptop need to be plugged in to the mains for it to work? Is there any way around this if so? I lost my laptop charger and can't see any other way to plug it in other than via a standard USB.

Follow up question: can a fully powered chicken be used to charge a laptop?

8 Comments
2018/10/12
00:08 UTC

3

Is Gay Ranch addictive?

4 Comments
2018/10/02
18:53 UTC

0

When did Gordon Biersch change his name to Gordon Ramsay?

1 Comment
2018/06/23
23:19 UTC

38

Is this how you make pasta?

5 Comments
2018/05/06
11:37 UTC

5

Are 'hotdogs' hot because they're inbread?

0 Comments
2018/04/28
03:14 UTC

3

Best recipe for Tide Pods? Ready? Go!

Just got a new bag of these delicious things. How should I cook them?

6 Comments
2018/02/10
20:50 UTC

7

Is eating something minty then drinking cold water the cold version of spicy? How can I use this cold spice in my dishes?

2 Comments
2018/01/31
18:49 UTC

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