If your water bill is too high, you can take a 10 minute shower at 11:55 PM. Since your shower ends at 12:05 AM, you showered on two separate days. Now you can shower every day while reducing your actual usage by 50%.

Drive twice as fast, and you'll get there in half the time, guaranteed! you can also just drive on the wrong side of the road, it's the fastest way to your destination.

That's why if you get really drunk it's OK to sleep with your cousin.

When staying at hotels, I often wonder who was the innovative genius that was the reason for these warnings. Why would you think to hang something from this?

Don’t believe me? Test your senses and close your eyes while you’re driving (bonus points if you’re on a highway and in the drivers seat)

Just get registered as a sex offender, you legally won't be allowed around them

Get you a burner girlfriend

Pretend like your asleep! All. Day. Long.

Steel submersibles are expensive and way too heavy. Carbon fiber is cheaper and lighter. Combine it with some titanium and then bolt that shit together for the win. Then all you need is a sweet paint job and youve got yourself a 100% reliable deep sea submersible.

What's that? Critics say you can't take your glued up sub deep? F them. Go extra deep just to show them you know more than they do.

Plus it's cheaper and easier than actually drilling holes in stuff.

Scared of choking to death on pills? Simply grind them up and snort them to completely avoid swallowing them?

Walmart+ is great because you can have your items delivered from your local store, sometimes the same day. But if you don't have a minimum $35 order and/or don't want to have to tip, here's a life hack to get around both of those.

I was making a sandwich 2 days ago and ran out of mayo. Since I didn't have a full order, I chose shipping as my delivery method and was notified my mayo would be delivered the next day. If your item is in stock at another store other than the one you normally use, Walmart will have a local driver pick it up and bring it to you. You don't have to place a large order, your item is delivered fairly fast, and you don't have to tip the driver bringing it!

Remember when you were a child, got soap in your eye, cried and screamed and that made it worse and so you stopped yelling?
If a screaming child is annoying you, walk by and say "hey what's up kid?" and secretly rub or shoot soap in their eyes to shut them up.

(On a side note, it's interesting that my kids or generally, kids nowadays don't get soap in their eyes!}

Here's a tip: pour used motor oil on all of your standing water areas. This helps get rid of used motor oil but also creates a slick that will prevent mosquitoes laying eggs in it, or letting existing eggs hatch.