/r/ShittyTheoryOfReddit

Photograph via snooOG

Shitty Theory of Reddit

Rules and Guidelines

Shitty Theory of Reddit is a space for thinking about what makes Reddit and the community surrounding it tick, and what we can do to make it shittier. Submissions should focus on non-issues, problems, or poorly designed plans that could never be reasonably/easily addressed or implemented by users, moderators, or admins.

Submissions that would be more appropriate in /r/TheoryOfReddit will be removed by the moderators. Submissions that would be appropriate for /r/SubredditDrama will be encouraged in this reddit by the moderators.

More in-depth suggestions regarding the running of reddit should be posted to /r/ShittyIdeasForAdmins.

The "vote fader" (thanks, blackstar9000!) beneath lists topics according to how good they are for this subreddit. If you'd like to help keep Shitty Theory of Reddit on track, give all your upboats to submissions with topics in the "hot" section of the map, and all your downvotes to submissions with topics in the "cold" section.

  1. ↑↑↑↑↑
  2. buısnoɹ-ǝןqqɐɹ ɹo/puɐ sʇunɥ-ɥɔʇıʍ
  3. sǝɯǝɯ
  4. uoıssnɔsıp ǝbɐɹnoɔsıp ʇɐɥʇ sʇuǝɯɯoɔ
  5. sǝɹnʇɐǝɟ ʍǝu ɹoɟ sʇsǝnbǝɹ
  6. soıɹɐuǝɔs "ɟı ʇɐɥʍ"
  7. sʞɹoʍ ʇıppǝɹ ʍoɥ ʇnoqɐ suoıʇsǝnb
  8. ʎןddɐ uɐɔ sɹǝsn puɐ spoɯ sɐǝpı
  9. ʇıppǝɹ oʇ buıuıɐʇɹǝd sısʎןɐuɐ puɐ ɐʇɐp
  10. sǝɹnʇɐǝɟ buıʇsıxǝ ʇnoqɐ sǝıɹoǝɥʇ
  11. ↓↓↓↓↓

Just in time for the apocalypse, /r/shittysuboftheweek just went live!

/r/ShittyTheoryOfReddit

1,140 Subscribers

3

sorry if wrong place: why do i have so many porn profiles/bots following me lately?

so, didnt know who to ask. why do i have so many porney-trap profiles following me in the last couple of weeks? never happened before? are these the death throws of the reddit i knew?

1 Comment
2023/06/12
22:49 UTC

4

I have a theory, a game theory

0 Comments
2023/04/24
05:51 UTC

3

r/place is just a work by the media to get more people into loving pixel art. its working

0 Comments
2022/04/02
17:49 UTC

1

Trump is secretly black and spray painted himself orange

0 Comments
2022/01/30
01:35 UTC

0

cross post from r/RedSmileGroup :-)

0 Comments
2021/11/09
23:19 UTC

2

cross post from r/RedSmileGroup :-)

0 Comments
2021/11/09
00:37 UTC

1

cross post from r/RedSmileGroup :-)

0 Comments
2021/11/06
14:17 UTC

1

cross post from r/RedSmileGroup :-)

0 Comments
2021/11/05
22:34 UTC

0

cross post from r/RedSmileGroup :-)

0 Comments
2021/11/04
23:27 UTC

0

cross post from r/RedSmileGroup :-)

0 Comments
2021/11/03
22:25 UTC

0

cross post from r/RedSmileGroup :-)

0 Comments
2021/10/27
22:56 UTC

0

cross post from r/RedSmileGroup :-)

0 Comments
2021/10/26
22:43 UTC

3

cross post from r/RedSmileGroup :-)

0 Comments
2021/10/25
21:38 UTC

3

cross post from r/RedSmileGroup :-)

0 Comments
2021/10/23
11:24 UTC

4

cross post from r/RedSmileGroup :-)

0 Comments
2021/10/16
14:09 UTC

3

cross post from r/RedSmileGroup :-)

0 Comments
2021/10/10
12:47 UTC

3

cross post from r/RedSmileGroup :-)

0 Comments
2021/10/04
21:38 UTC

1

What the fuck

10 Comments
2021/06/18
11:48 UTC

2

A Winner's Guide To Winning At Reddit.

To win at reddit, the first thing you need to understand is that every interaction on reddit is a battle, and the other parties involved are your opponents. The goal is not just to win, but total domination at all cost. You may think this is a guide for how to be a troll. Not so. The goal of a troll is to get a rise out of people for fun. You're not here to have fun, you're here to win. Until you understand that fact, you're guaranteed to lose. Don't be a loser.

Rule 1. The first and more important rule is that you must be willing to disregard any of the following rules. Consistency is your enemy. Consistency can back you into a logical corner, while contradictions are a powerful weapon that can get you out of that corner.

Rule 2. Take everything as literally as possible. Any time you see someone use a metaphor, idiom, analogy, or hyperbole, latch onto this and do not let go, even if your opponent explains that it was not meant to be taken literally.

Rule 3. Misunderstand on purpose. Being willfully obtuse absolves you of any responsibility to offer a counter argument. No matter how clear somebody explains something to you, claim pretend not to understand, and claim that "it makes no sense." This will keep them busy trying to come up with several different ways to explain their point, thinking that is their own inability to articulate an idea that is the problem.

Rule 4. Don't be above straight up grade school level mockery. When you've got absolutely nothing else to say, turn to insults.

Rule 5. Don't underestimate "No U" AKA "The Uno Reverse Card". It's simple but is one of the most powerful weapons in your arsenal. If, for example, someone is accusing you of arguing in bad faith, simply accuse them of the same thing back.

Rule 6. Use preemptive strikes. Being the first to attack gives you an immediate advantage that pays dividends. For example, in the case of rule 5, accuse other people of doing the thing you're doing before they even get a chance to accuse you of it. If you say it first, it will make them less likely to accuse you of it, because it will seem like they're just copying you.

Rule 7. Nit pick everything, especially the most trivial stuff that is irrelevant to the point. The less you address the actual point the better. Don't be afraid to get into an pedantic disagreement over grammar or word usage. If you can get the topic derailed to some asinine bullshit, you're on solid ground.

Rule 8. Use anonymity to your benefit. If pretending to be black, gay, female, etc would bolster your argument, do it. And don't be afraid to mix and match. Would being a black lesbian make your argument sound better? Then go for it! The downside is that people can look back at previous things you've wrote, but very few people actually ever make the effort to do this, and even if they do just double down.

Rule 9. Make wild assumptions. The wilder the better. Pretend your opponent said things they didn't say and make them defend or deny it.

Rule 10. Learn the names of the logical fallacies. Don't worry, you don't actually need to learn what they mean. Logical fallacy names are basically magical "I win" spells that you can invoke. Keep them in your back pocket, they can get you out of a jam in a pinch.

Rule 11. Always ask for a source, especially when asking for a source makes no sense. Asking for a source gives you the high ground because it's what intelligent people do. For example, if somebody talks about a personal life experience they had, ask for a source. When they are not able to provide a source, claim victory. If a source is provided, don't worry because it does not even actually matter! If someone makes an argument that can be backed up by data, and they provide said data, don't even waste your time reading it. All you need to do is dismiss the data as flawed by saying "I disagree with the methodology behind this" or by claiming it's from a biased source.

Rule 12. Be as unpleasant as possible. Act like a lunatic. Disagree with absolutely everything just for the sake of disagreeing. Never show even an ounce of respect for anybody else. When your opponent decides it's not worth the frustration dealing with you and walks away, claim it as a victory.

How to lose

There are only three ways in which you can lose the battle.

  1. The first is being completely ignored. If you weren't able to draw any opponents in, that's a loss by default.

  2. Showing any sign of weakness by conceding a point. If you give even an inch, you have lost.

  3. Giving up. Never let your opponent have the final word.

If you master all of the above rules, you are guaranteed to win at reddit and you can finally feel secure knowing that you are not a loser but a winner!

0 Comments
2021/05/07
00:35 UTC

2

Repost Century - A century where all you can post is re-posts.

0 Comments
2019/06/23
10:52 UTC

7

95 % People have hokey cucumbers up thier assholes. That's why they're angry all the time. How did the veges get there? ScienceToday demands Independent studies.

0 Comments
2018/06/27
22:58 UTC

11

NEEDS SIDE VOTES BUTTON

NOT JUST UP AND DOWN N00BS

0 Comments
2018/04/19
20:45 UTC

5

Shitty shit shit

$H!T

4 Comments
2018/04/17
01:22 UTC

4

the sub died

:(

2 Comments
2018/04/16
06:50 UTC

11

Reddit should ban original content for a month

0 Comments
2018/01/14
03:46 UTC

5

For a month reddit should be reposts only

0 Comments
2017/11/09
19:36 UTC

5

No

3 Comments
2017/11/04
22:29 UTC

4

Reddit should be repost only

0 Comments
2017/10/07
02:42 UTC

5

For a decade reddit should be reposts only

0 Comments
2017/10/03
02:54 UTC

2

What's the difference between "shitty," "gay," and "gay-ass"?

Like in r/ShittyAdvice, for example. How do I know I'm not getting "gay-ass" advice?

2 Comments
2017/09/15
07:27 UTC

Back To Top