/r/ShittyAnimalFacts

Photograph via snooOG

Shitty facts about animals, from Trashpandas to Slowbears to Jackdaws. Cute pictures accompanied by shitty titles, like "TIL Zoos can only have one emperor penguin at a time; any more leads to a political coup d'état."

Rule #1: Only the shittiest facts allowed. If your post ends up being correct you are instantly banned. No exceptions!

Rule #2: No YouTube. Post an image or a gif. Because mods are tired of removing spam.

Rule #3: No douchebaggery. Mods will ban at will. Or even just for funsies. Consider this your final warning.

Rule #4: Only shitty users repost. You can title something literally anything you want (so long as it's not true) so you really have to be a lazy piece of shit to repost an existing shitty fact. It's not forbidden, but if you choose to repost, expect a public shaming for your shitty behavior, you shit head.

See a comment from someone who doesn't realize what sub they're in? Post it to /r/shittieranimalfacts!

For more shitty fun

/r/ShittyFoodFacts

/r/ShittyTurtleFacts

/r/shittyaskscience

/r/ShittierAnimalFacts

/r/properanatomy

/r/ShittyAnimalFacts

146,453 Subscribers

168

This is the pudding cat. Do not jiggle the pudding cat. He is full of pudding.

9 Comments
2023/11/16
03:32 UTC

224

Although animals don't have the higher reasoning abilities of humans, they do still ponder abstract concepts. Dogs for instance can sometimes be observed contemplating infinity, albeit asymmetrically.

10 Comments
2023/11/04
20:47 UTC

163

The Derp Panda is the lesser known cousin of the common Panda

The Derp Panda (Ailuropoda derpipandis) is the lesser known cousin of the common Giant Panda (Ailuropoda melanoleuca). Often sleeping face down, the Derp Pandas numbers are dwindling.

3 Comments
2023/11/03
21:08 UTC

249

Crossbreeding a flying squirrel and a regular squirrel creates a squirrel that is physically a regular squirrel but with the flight instincts of a flying squirrel. Their survival rate in the wild is statically negligible. In captivity their enclosures have a lot of pillows on the floor.

7 Comments
2023/10/25
20:57 UTC

320

In an effort to create a faster Tortoise, scientists are attempting to cross-breed them with Cheetahs. - Phase one, The Introduction...

6 Comments
2023/10/17
23:39 UTC

86

Overweight lizards face social discrimination & harassment from other reptiles & fast insects

0 Comments
2023/10/07
20:59 UTC

67

All Geoducks are uncut.

2 Comments
2023/10/05
02:05 UTC

124

During an elephant's in utero embryogenesis, this terrestrial mammal passes through its ancient "sea elephant" phase as seen here.

5 Comments
2023/10/01
12:08 UTC

64

Marmots are not particularly cute as far as small mammals go. But they don't care because they aren't one of those pick me animals that needs your validation. So fuck you.

2 Comments
2023/10/01
03:00 UTC

60

Grizzlies are unfairly thought of as a particularly dangerous bear. But they actually have always had humans' best interests at heart, and can frequently be seen practicing CPR in the woods, just in case.

2 Comments
2023/09/25
00:54 UTC

38

Taste the rainbow [OC]

0 Comments
2023/09/19
22:09 UTC

160

Osprey have developed a symbiotic relationship with pufferfish. Here the osprey is using a pufferfish to find it's prey. The inflated pufferfish, just like a drum, is sensitive to vibrations and acts as kind of a sonar when it passes over a fish swimming within a meter of the surface.

12 Comments
2023/09/19
15:57 UTC

90

At times, donkeys are known to be overcome by severe existential dread.

3 Comments
2023/09/16
11:21 UTC

98

Seals known for team spirit have been know to dye themselves in advance of football games

1 Comment
2023/09/13
01:20 UTC

159

The British army has historically classed horses 1-10. A class 1 horse is only fit for civilian use while a class 10 horse can charge into heavy gunfire. This is a class 0 horse, meaning it should be equipped with water wings if it will be walking through puddles.

17 Comments
2023/09/07
13:28 UTC

223

Sand dollars feel embarrassed when seen sunbathing, so they will cover their furry bodies as quickly as possible.

1 Comment
2023/09/02
15:01 UTC

267

TIL llamas are super geniuses

2 Comments
2023/08/30
15:13 UTC

156

Dogs will go to great lengths and depths to find the grass they need to pack on body fat before hibernation.

1 Comment
2023/08/28
00:15 UTC

181

This image is a common monitor quality test: If the flamingos do not appear fully pink, your monitor is low on magenta and may need to be replaced.

1 Comment
2023/08/22
00:08 UTC

103

Cows hate progressive rock.

3 Comments
2023/08/18
14:40 UTC

237

A just released study has indicated that the dramatic disappearance of bees in recent years is being caused by a single dog that had been eating all the bees. Bad dog.

6 Comments
2023/08/10
03:32 UTC

54

Wild garbage bags are the main predator of garbage crabs.

5 Comments
2023/08/04
13:48 UTC

198

All german bears have fled to argentina after WW2 for obvious reasons

3 Comments
2023/08/01
09:51 UTC

333

In case you didn't know

6 Comments
2023/07/29
22:41 UTC

10

Grieving tapirus families are looking for their loved ones as zoophilic sex gangs are prowling the streets of Tampere (Finland) for their younglings. Please contact the police if you have seen the little Nosy

0 Comments
2023/07/29
20:41 UTC

143

Xoloboyes run primarily by throwing all of their legs in the air at once and hoping momentum carries them in the right direction

3 Comments
2023/07/28
23:52 UTC

1

Hope this fits here.

1 Comment
2023/07/28
03:13 UTC

15

There were no cats above the arctic circle until recently, because cats need a sunny spot to lie in to recharge, and couldn't survive 2 months of darkness. But with power companies bringing electricity to the far North, Inuits can now keep cats as pets by just plugging them in when they get low.

0 Comments
2023/07/27
18:48 UTC

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