/r/ShittyAnimalFacts

Photograph via snooOG

Shitty facts about animals, from Trashpandas to Slowbears to Jackdaws. Cute pictures accompanied by shitty titles, like "TIL Zoos can only have one emperor penguin at a time; any more leads to a political coup d'état."

Rule #1: Only the shittiest facts allowed. If your post ends up being correct you are instantly banned. No exceptions!

Rule #2: No YouTube. Post an image or a gif. Because mods are tired of removing spam.

Rule #3: No douchebaggery. Mods will ban at will. Or even just for funsies. Consider this your final warning.

Rule #4: Only shitty users repost. You can title something literally anything you want (so long as it's not true) so you really have to be a lazy piece of shit to repost an existing shitty fact. It's not forbidden, but if you choose to repost, expect a public shaming for your shitty behavior, you shit head.

See a comment from someone who doesn't realize what sub they're in? Post it to /r/shittieranimalfacts!

For more shitty fun

/r/ShittyFoodFacts

/r/ShittyTurtleFacts

/r/shittyaskscience

/r/ShittierAnimalFacts

/r/properanatomy

/r/ShittyAnimalFacts

146,044 Subscribers

286

The purple harlequin frog is a figment of the imagination, because no way could you ever get frogs to dress up like this.

0 Comments
2023/01/26
14:43 UTC

462

Horse and goat scientists have discovered a fourth type of symbiosis where two animals live in close physical association and neither benefits, aside from looking dope as hell

8 Comments
2023/01/25
03:11 UTC

65

The first new feline species to be discovered in more than a century, the snowshoe cat (Felidae colfitus) is pictured here in its native winter range.

1 Comment
2023/01/24
18:26 UTC

569

Cats are able to clone themselves when they stick close to the walls. But there is one strange thing about this.. clones have other fur colors than their originals.

6 Comments
2023/01/23
04:22 UTC

482

Some fish are able to achieve lift off using abdominal jets to become waterborne, however, they have not yet evolved directional control.

9 Comments
2023/01/19
00:16 UTC

10

The huntsman spider is so named because it hunts men…

0 Comments
2023/01/18
19:05 UTC

769

Despite being widely popular, duck curling has been banned by over forty-seven nations due to concerns over its inherently fowl nature.

7 Comments
2023/01/18
03:47 UTC

92

Apes don't ask questions. While apes can learn sign language and communicate using it, they have never needed to learn new knowledge by asking humans or other apes. They know that no other entities can know things they don't. It's this omniscience that separates apes from mankind.

3 Comments
2023/01/16
23:48 UTC

443

Farmers' habit of housing hogs an sheep together has resulted in a new species, given the name of "shpigs."

8 Comments
2023/01/16
19:21 UTC

348

This orbweaver species uses special toxins in its web that allow it to hijack the mind of a gazelle host. The spider will then direct the gazelle to run through swarms of flies which the spider can feast on.

2 Comments
2023/01/15
18:44 UTC

20

According to recent paleontological studies, educational posters are an effective tool for kids to remember the most common dinosaurs such as short-tailed triceratops, mammoth, dimetrodon or pterodactyls.

0 Comments
2023/01/15
16:00 UTC

386

Reverse racism is real and a leading cause for 45% of little polar bears growing up in poor neighbourhoods in the US.

0 Comments
2023/01/15
12:10 UTC

165

The great fan pigeon gets it’s name from it’s habit of nesting only on ceiling fans.

4 Comments
2023/01/15
07:01 UTC

2

Snapping turtles engage in gang bangs in order to establish dominance in their hive.

1 Comment
2023/01/15
06:52 UTC

681

It is popular for The Cantor's giant softshell turtle to remain uncircumcised. A trend that baffles scientists to this day.

9 Comments
2023/01/14
15:48 UTC

89

Hedgehogs feed their young grapes by climbing up the grapevine, dropping the grapes on the ground, and then rolling over the grapes so that they are impaled on the hedgehog's spikes. The hedgehog then carries the grapes on its spikes back to the den where the young eats the fruit.

2 Comments
2023/01/13
19:48 UTC

835

Flamingos stand on one leg, because if they stood on no legs they would fall over

10 Comments
2023/01/11
18:21 UTC

579

The only bird known to give live birth is the so-called free-sample-spoon ice-cream phalarope.

9 Comments
2023/01/08
12:57 UTC

367

When it gets hot in summer, dolphins head for shade in the inland freshwater forests where there are no sharks, no orcas and absolutely no yucky saltwater.

10 Comments
2023/01/07
14:42 UTC

356

Evolution has given polar bears black noses so they can find each other in the snowy landscape.

7 Comments
2023/01/07
02:50 UTC

372

With many sperm banks starting to go belly up, sperm is increasingly being collected in the ocean to replenish the balances of account holders. "With so much free sperm in the oceans, why go elsewhere" is a common refrain from marine biologists who have been cashing in.

16 Comments
2023/01/06
15:37 UTC

502

Humans are not the only animals that like to make cinnamon rolls. The Venus girdle is also a huge fan of the sweet bun, but the lack of sugar in the deep sea keeps the recipe rather low calorie.

9 Comments
2023/01/05
00:02 UTC

443

Animals are a big part of people's dreams, and there is one particular animal that often recurs, the beguiling dream devil. It has a message for you which you might not like.

7 Comments
2023/01/03
19:17 UTC

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