Important Rules

I feel like this is a stupid question to ask, but I have to ask it anyways, because my family knows much less about the LGBTQ+ community (they’re learning, but they don’t know enough yet).

So, I recently came out as a trans guy, and IM LOVING IT!!! I never had felt like a girl, and internally cringed every time I was categorized as one—and now that I’ve come out, I find myself questioning more than ever (ironic, huh?)

I’ve gotten really used to being referred to as my chosen name and he/him pronouns, but (of course) I still have feminine features, like my voice and face, that make other people a bit confused when they first look at me (did you know that there’s actually a scientific name for the “panic” that other people’s brains go into when specifically looking at people who seem androgynous or have defining feminine and masculine features? It takes less than a second for brains to judge a person’s gender, and the “panic” is when people actually start thinking about it because they’re confused. It’s really interesting that we have our own phenomenon based on our appearance but anyways—).

I also have typically feminine behaviors, and all my friends are girls (they’re just easier to get along with yknow?). The vast majority of people still see me and usually think I’m a boy, but some refer to me for the first time and go through all the pronouns before I tell them.

Here’s the problem: I like making people confused about my gender, but I HATE being called by they/them or she/her pronouns. I also simultaneously don’t want to make people confused and just want them to call me a guy.

And I like looking pretty.

And handsome.

whabsjjebsn

I like he/him pronouns and being referred to as a guy, but I like the thought of having people second-guess my gender.

Is this just my thoughts of “haha, got you; you got it wrong” wanting to be splattered onto other people, or is it something else?

This probably sounds weird/confusing af and I’m sorry about it 😅

Not long ago I was in a relationship with a guy. But I didn't want to have any romantic gestures with him (and sexual gestures were uncomfortable for me), I didn't want to cuddle him, kiss him or anything like that. But sometimes I wonder if a other guy is in love with me and I wonder if I would be able to be in a relationship with him. But when it comes to girls, I think I could be in a relationship with a girl. I would never want to hold hands in a romantic way with a guy, but I think that with a girl I would be able to do it. Once when I was in a relationship with a girl, I was happy for the whole day. But I also remember when I was younger I had crushes on guys, and I am sure that I WAS attracted to guys, but I'm not sure if I am now. I don't know if my sexual orientation has changed or something.. I also prefer thinking about a long term relationship with a girl. I mean- I can imagine myself with a boy too, but I don't want it at all. what sexuality is that?

I think I am aromantic, but I am not 100% sure. I am definitely 100% most certainly asexual. If I wasn't aromantic, I think I'd be panromantic, but I will probably just go unlabeled- I will date you if you arent a man, or if you arent a woman, or if you arent either of those (meaning I could date anyone of any gender or sex).

Should I buy an aroace flag online and hang it up, or just an ace flag since I'm not 100% sure?

Me (16nb) and my girlfriend (17f) recently experienced some problems in our relationship that caused a bit of upset, especially for me. For context, we've been dating for 8 months and it's been the healthiest it's ever been, especially since all her past relationships have been with toxic exes who told her to unalive herself regularly.

Early in our relationship, the idea of an open poly relationship in the future came up and. told her it was something I would think about. But now, I'm happy with just her and feel like everything is right. Committing to this relationship has been hard, but it's all the worth while is what I've been telling myself.

Yesterday however the question came up again, with her saying she had "found someone" who could possibly be "the one," but would drop it if I felt comfortable. I did say I was uncomfortable, but I at least wanted to know who it was. She said it was this girl J (14f), who was in speech and debate with her.

I don't like J at all.

Part of me felt hurt for some reason when I heard this and I wanted to cry so badly. I took a break from talking with her for a while, so I could think about it. She has apologized to me and swears she will only ever have feelings for me, and that her feelings for me will always be there.

I do forgive her for this hiccup (what she considers a fuck up), but in the back of my mind I am worried. She has lost part of my trust, and she's willing to do just about everything to get it back. But what if she is secretly cheating on me with J behind my back? She was cheated on in her past relationships, and I'm worried that she might not love me as much as she did before. Am I just being paranoid, and what can I do to help us both heal from this?

Lets get out of the way what I do understand about gender

I understand that gender is like a scale between male and female with most people landing on one of these two, I also recognize the fact that one can be born inbetween genders in rare birth circumstances. I recgonize nonbinary people but outside of this I don't really get how their can be genders outside of this or nearly as many as are offically reconginized . what distincts the other genders outside of the four mentioned.

I am a man. I noticed that I was disgusted by the idea of ​​two women loving each other while two men not at all and I don't know why only towards lesbians. in any case I want to change. So can I get rid of this disgust? if yes how?

thank you in advance for your answers

(sorry for my english)

Hi Folks,

Marked this NSFW as it could be triggering for some folks.

I work in an environment that has me working directly with gender diverse young people. A coworker today has espoused TERF ideology during a lunchtime catch up. Previously they seemed to navigate these issues in ways that seemed respectful but I was surprised to see them talk about other friends of theirs as "woke leftists" as if this is a derogatory term and they talked about their "Concerns."

I pushed back gently as I was not confident I could have a successful confrontational interaction. I referred them to our workplace code of ethics to try and encourage them to start seeing their talk as anti-trans. I also tried to make it clear that it should be a matter of basic respect to use pronouns and names that people tell you they use.

Can you recommend any resources I can direct them towards that might help develop their empathy and understanding on this issue? And for an adult who works with LGBT young people and should know better?
I get this could be super triggering and emotional subject. I also think if I can direct them to transgender voices and resources that might be a start. I only know of a few youtubers and writers and this would be good for my own education.

My initial thoughts are that I shouldn't ostracize them as it might only reinforce their thoughts and push them further down the anti-trans influencer pipeline. I'm hoping that I can try to influence them towards more positive views but I'm not confident to do it well.

I'm a 15 year old bisexual girl who is dating a 14 old trans man. I live in Texas and he lives in South Carolina. I live in a homophobic religious household I have not come out to my family or irl friends. I don't know much about this community outside of the pray the gay's away Ideology. So just wanted to know if There anything a new member of the community should be a Where of or just advice about coming out or even if I should.So yes thank you for your time please be nice.

So, I'm non-binary but I use they/he pronouns. Although, sometimes I consider myself a woman still and I also consider my self to be more masculine aligned sometimes too. So like solely non-binary. And a few weeks ago I realized I was a lesbian instead of bisexual.

A few months ago, I came to the conclusion that I don't like she/her pronouns. However, I used to use they/he/she. Part of why I decided to drop the she was because I don't plan on transitioning medically (although I do sometimes think about going on T but ultimately I don't want to) and I present very feminine so most people assume I'm a cis woman anyways. Plus my family uses she/her and deadnames me (I'm not technically out and those I am out to "accept" me but don't use my preferred name and pronouns)

So, I realized that the more people used she/her the less comfortable I was with it and I get plenty of she/her to not actually use those pronouns

My main point is that while I personally believe pronouns don't equal gender and non-binary lesbians are incredibly valid, I'm still insecure about it and I know a lot of lesbians are against it, especially the he/him.

Personally I feel like there's a difference between "lesbians" who are men and then lesbians who use he/him pronouns.

Like, there are lesbians who use any pronouns or pronouns like mine.

Ig, what I'm trying to say/ask, is does anyone have advice for this? I'm not usually insecure about my identities but for some reason I have been insecure about this.

Not sure why, but i like to admire attractive men and be attracted to them, at the same time i want to become like them and be admired by everyone, it's confusing..

I've identified as transmasc for a long time but I also feel agender but idk if I can identify as transmasc and agender at the same time.

Hello I am a straight 22 year old girl but i subscribed to 4 onlyfans girls yesterday and have sent them money to see their nudes… IDK HOW TO FEEL BC IT TURNS ME ON . But I know I want to marry my boyfriend I feel so bad I feel guilty and like shit but I honestly always been curious about women but my attraction is so strong . I love men romantically but physically im so interested in women. I feel so confused and guilty . What do i do?? Am I lesbian?? Or BI ?? Because honestly I only find “sexy” girls attractive or girls who resemble me or have the body I want. I imagine myself looking as hot as them. Im also pretty sexy and idk if im living vicariously through them because I wouldn’t post myself on onlyfans personally. Should I go to therapy?

I’m just wondering if this experience is common. Knowing it wouldn’t work out and that you probably aren’t interested in sex with that person you can’t help but be attracted to them?

I find my sexuality is mostly oriented towards men. But I always see women and notice their smiles, eyes, hair, their voice etc, it’s just not a sexual turn on. It makes me feel compatible with no one.

WARNING: LONG TEXT I'm AFAB, my gender expression is Tomboy So few days ago a YouTube video titled "18 Gender identities explained in (x) minutes" popped up and I watched it bc it sounded interesting! Well, one stood out to me bc it made me think "Hey dat sounds like me!" Lol It was Cassgender - a gender identity in which an individual feels their own gender is unimportant or irrelevant to their life. This can mean feeling a lack of concern towards the idea of gender or gender as a whole and not caring what pronouns people use. The individual may have a gender but feel that it's totally irrelevant to who they are. With an umbrella term I found called CassGirl - gender identity under the Cassgender umbrella where one identifies as a girl + what Cassgender says basically. Hey cool, sounds like me. But I wanna see what all y'all say!

I personally don’t understand what having a gender identity feels like nor understand how one can “feel like a gender" bc I don't feel like a girl, I don't feel like a boy. I'm just me and I don't care what pronouns people call me. I think my gender is unimportant. To me, I just exist as a person. However, if someone asked me what my gender is, I'd say I'ma girl. Will just mention I decided to learn bout pronouns/micro pronouns and came across Per/Pers/Perself which made me smile bc I see myself as just a person, my pronouns don't matter to me and 'per' was like a nickname for 'person' and I quite love it! Even thought it'd be fun to extend it into This Person/Per/Pers/Perself to emphasis "I'm just me, a person!" Lol 'This person' to specifically replace 'she' in this case. Though, truthfully this was just for fun. If someone misgendered me, I wouldn't care nor correct them. Truthfully if they called me 'he/him' I'd take it more as a compliment since I'ma tomboy haha

I'm unsure if I've ever experienced Gender Dysphoria, but I'll list somethings that I think may fall under it that I do experience [idk fur sure if these count]: ●  I don't like having periods, so I started taking something that makes me stop having them so I feel less like a girl (I find periods rather disgusting)

● I wear loose fitting vests over my shirts [even during summer] to hide the shape of my boobs so I appear flat-chested (this is mostly bc I'm very modest, I dun want guys staring at my chest - no shape - less to look at and I also feel uncomfortable without a vest on since ik the shape is more seen)

● I hate being treated like a girl - pulling out my chair for me, holding a door open for me, giving me flowers/jewellery bc 'girls love flowers/jewellery', making me go through a door first bc 'girls first', etc. Also not a fan of the typical gender roles/society’s rules for genders thing. I don't really care how people see me, even though I'm pretty sure everyone sees me as a girl, I just dun wanna be treated based on how I look. I want to be treated as me.

● I hate being called a 'Girl' by others - this is due to having trauma and bad experiences involving girls - Idm if people call me 'she/her', it's the actual word 'girl' I hate being called. It makes me feel I am being grouped with them. Yet I feel comfortable calling myself a 'girl' lol ik this is a personal problem. I also hate being called 'female/women/lady' just bc it feels too adult/makes me feel old lol

If I woke up as a boy one morning, I wouldn’t mind, but not in a trans way. I'm happy in my own girl body so long as I never have a period.

I'm not trying to label my gender, labels to me are just words that help others learn more about you! I dun really care bout my own Gender Identity, but it's fun to explore. I guess labels can help someone learn more bout one's self too, which is what I am trying to do bc it's fun imo! So... What Gender Identity do y'all say I am? Yes, ik in the end it's my choice.

i honestly havent been thinking about this too much until recently, but in july my boyfriend came out to me as transmasc. i love him and do not feel less attracted to him now, but the thing i'm confused about it my sexuality. i have been going as lesbian, but thinking about it, it doesnt make sense at all. i need help. i do not feel comfortable going as bisexual or pansexual because i'm not attracted to cis men. side note if it makes more sense: i am afab nonbinary:3

How does one differentiate comphet from becoming comfortable in a relationship.

I’m pansexual genderfluid and cupiosexual (born female) my main problem is my gender identity. I’ve recently developed a crush on a guy and just like every other time I’ve developed a crush on a male I start feeling less pan less genderfluid and stuff like that- however I start feeling more and more feminine more often every time I like a guy and I even feel more okay with she/her pronouns which I usually hate

Is this normal??

(Please remove if not allowed) so I'm once again questioning my sexuality, I've identified as straight all my life but have experienced attraction to women (cis and trans) and to enbys, so I assumed i was Omni but now I'm not so sure, I think I'm probably straight since identifying as omni has been dismissed many times by others, any advice would be helpful and much appreciated.

¡ realised i liked women when i was 9 or 10, but i didnt know what 'being gay was' until about a year later. i then came out as bisexual at 13, only to realise when i was 14 that i was actually a lesbian and couldnt see myself ending up with a man. i havent had a crush on a boy in almost 6 years, ive been with multiple women and only ever find myself attracted romantically and sexually to women, but i do still find some men good looking. i didnt think anything of it, some youtubers/ tiktokers/ actors etc just are handsome men and i often talk about it to my friends, but many of them have said that makes me bisexual. but the thing is, i wouldnt date one. if one of the youtubers i find attractive came up to me and asked me out id say no, so am i still a lesbian? can i be a lesbian and still find men attractive? i was an extremely confident lesbian until people started telling me that i was bi because i find some male celebs attractive.

What do y’all think of LGBTQ characters in games? Like the ones that are very clearly shown to be gay. Bonus question: Who’s your favourite LGBTQ character in gaming history? Tou can pick more than one:)

I know there’s others that’s been thru this… but have you ever felt so guilty for breaking a good person’s heart??? It’s only been 2-3 days but I feel so guilty because he is a good guy. I hated seeing him so devastated. How did you deal with it and how did you move on?

Hi there! I'm actually not super keen on the micro labels and will likely continue to just call myself bisexual but I'm curious if there would be one for this.

I like pretty much all women and NBs but only feminine men. I thought that's probably gynesexual but women don't have to be feminine for me to find them attractive, they can look like straight up dudes lol.

I mean they're a guy who's sleeping with a girl what is there to be insecure about its straight maybe it falls under queer heterosexuality depending on who you ask. Either way its straight to me and theres no reason to hide a relationship with a woman of trans or intersex experience inface while I dont want to sound like a chaser I'll come out and say some of my best relationships have been with trans and intersex women which may have influenced my preferences a bit but not by much and pretty much for that reason I never felt like I had to hide a girlfriend like a dirty secret because they aren't and yeah I had "friends" tell me to date cis women only make me the butt of jokes or punk on me in other ways for who I was involved at the time even then I didnt keep my love life a secret I just dropped the shitty people telling me to change or worse insulting anyone I was dating and kept going on about my life I'm wondering why they hell cant other men do the same

Its called ‘Lesboy’ according to someone who identifies as it, its: “lesboys are butch, gender-nonconforming, nonbinary and/or transmasc lesbians that enjoy being referred to as a boy”

Ok. To start this off I'm gonna start by saying that I am transmasc and gay. At some point, a person had commented that trans people wanting to be in a mlm relationship was f*tishization. I am genuinely worried because for a while, I have longed to have a boyfriend and love a boy as a boy, but now I am concerned that I'm just fetishizing gay men. Please comment and let me know because I'm pretty worried

Like if it's fluid what does that mean like can it be your straight but then you're are bi? Or is it more something else

I'm a 23 yr old lesbian and one of the many things that confuse me are bi/straight women that are married to men but go feral younger women. The flirting and them wanting to talk to you for hours. Like what's that about? I thought it was just some silly thing that was made up until it started happening to me at my job or just in public 😂😂 like im intrigued tbh.

basically what the title says. can't tell if i'm bi or not. send help.

I just watched Little Women (2019). Jo said a line in there that she wished she was a guy. I wasn’t sure if she would be trans today, or it was just because women in that time couldn’t get jobs or anything. What do you think?