I hate my name. I am named after a certain princess with a magic carpet, and i hate how feminine it is. I genuinely feel no attachment to my name, but i guess the only reason i put of renaming myself is bc i dont want to confuse or cause complication for my friends. Are there any gender neutral names that still sound relatively similar to my birth name?

I haven’t come out to anyone other than my clinicians, I’m specifically agender that wants to present more feminine as I now present as masculine and have my whole life. I have a generally gender neutral first name, so that’s a plus…

Otherwise, I’m just looking for some advice to come out to friends and family and being comfortable in public as a woman. The people in my life are very supportive in me in general, so I’m expecting most of them to accept me, but you never know til you tell.

As an agender person, I always thought that I could get on hormones grow out my hair and start dressing differently and not even feel the need to tell anyone unless they asked. Is that a bad idea?

I‘ve seen some posts on this sub of people who recently came out as agender. Which made me question why I never felt like I had to come out and I guess it‘s because personally I associate coming outs with the sense of a new identity. So there is something to announce. But for me being agender has always felt like the absence rather than the presence of something. I also don‘t care what people label me with because gender doesn‘t hold any meaning to me whatsoever. So I‘m wondering if that even is agender? Or does agender mean that you feel specifically genderless and therefore the only right way to be addressed is by no pronouns?

And please don‘t take this as an offense if you came out as agender. I‘m happy for everyone who found the right way to deal with this for themselves. I‘m just confused for my part. <3

After about two years of trial online a very small circle with being agender (It/It’s), I finally took the leap and came out fully on 30 March.

I’m AMAB, but have always felt more like I was “performing” maleness. It’s always felt like my body was just this thing I inhabit, and had no deep connection to its genetic lottery.

Before I figured out what I am, I joked that I was actually three pounds of salty fat stuck in a meat robot. Little did I realize then.

I still largely define myself as an entity that inhabits a meatsuit that happens to be masc by the vagaries of genetics.

I scored 100% on an agender test & I feel comfortable with my appearance, I don't really feel the need to look "less male/masculine" or drastically change how I look to appear more genderless (I don't really care too much). I still feel very much feel like a grey blob/blank slate on the inside.

I don't really place too much importance on gendering my hair, I just like how it looks (in the same way as how people like their hair short or long, or prefer being bald, I don't really attach gender to hear cus you can be masculine/feminine etc and have different hair types).

Just sharing my thoughts/feelings to raise awareness that agender comes in many forms for any new people that may be coming in that want to see what an agender person looks like (and remember - however you prefer to present yourself visually, you're beautiful and valid)!

Hi. I'm 23 (AMAB). For the past two years now l've had a focus on opening, learning and exploring parts of my gender identity. I recently settled on Agender as a label to explain the phenomenon of gender concept in my mind.

Lately I've been feeling an extreme sense to have a much more androgynous and adaptable look. I've seen individuals AFAB undergoing any sorts of process to display more biologically male or fit a nonbinary identity-let this be surgically, hormonally, or aesthetically even. This to me has always been something I envied and wished I could undertake. Being able to have certain "feminine" traits mixed with "masculine" ones is a dream.

This is specifically around my hips and leg area / core for I wish to have a much more feminine looking waist with still a muscular base on myself. It's been difficult to narrow if this is just like body dysmorphia or something more.

If anyone has had similar experiences or may even understand anything of what I'm saying id appreciate any introspection or thoughts. Il take all with a grain of salt so feel free to speak with honesty but a kind filter.

Thanks :-).

Hey, I became infamous a few years ago for being someone who had nullification (genitals completely removed and only a small hole for urine remaining) surgery as a teenager. I want to remind everyone that I still exist and I still think I'm wonderful and sexy.

People said I would regret my surgery in my early twenties. I don't. I still love my body. I still feel euphoria when I see that I have an entirely genderless appearance between my legs.

People said I would want to hurt myself more. I don't. I'm still very underweight and very mentally ill but generally by self harming has been on the downturn.

People said I would miss sexual pleasure without genitals. I don't. I enjoy bottoming and that doesn't require sex organs.

People said nobody would ever be attracted to me. I literally have more sexual per month partners then most people ever will. I feel loved. (I also realized I'm arospec and bi ^_^)

People said I would become a communist. That one turned out to be true. But that's also a good think :3

Still can't leave nyc without crying but I literally haven't been outside the city in so many years it doesn't matter OwO

Hi, I’m curious about androgyny and I recently found a TikTok account belonging to an agender person who was born female and took testosterone for 1 year. This resulted in them being practically a perfect mix of male and female traits. I was born male but I want to try looking like this. My concern is that if I was to do the opposite, a limited course of estrogen, I would most likely develop breasts, which isn’t desirable for androgyny. Would it be possible to be agender and do this or would I have to go about it differently?

binder be binding. gender be gone.

Hi, my name is Sam & this is my first gender-affirming care I've gotten! My hair was 2 1/2ft long, a security blanket of confused feelings, & I finally chopped it off! I know it's just a haircut, but I've never felt more "me" in my entire life. I actually look masculine in a suit, which I've dreamed of for years. What matters even more is my family agrees it fits me better. So I'm curious, what was your 1st gender-affirming care?

Before getting into the nitty-gritty I just wanted to say that this technically my coming out :) I’ve known I’m agender for a little while now but haven’t told anyone in my life yet. I will eventually with time but I think announcing to a board of internet strangers like me is a good place to start :)

I’m agender! Now excuse my rambling

It’s been quite the interesting process discovering my gender identity. I think I knew my gender has always been something different than what was assigned to me but, growing up in a catholic household, I never explored it.

Until recently.

I had my epiphany while at a Moon Walker concert. I’m not sure what specifically triggered the train of thought but suddenly I felt comfortable to question who I am and how I could get closer to feeling more myself both inside and out. I’ve always felt uncomfortable being referred to as a ‘woman’ specifically but ,interestingly, neutral about she/her pronouns as well as any pronouns anyone calls me. When others would call me a woman, I would get uncomfortable in a way similar to someone incorrectly guessing my nationality or ethnicity (best way I can describe it). I wasn’t outraged nor offended I just simply thought “that’s not right.”

So, I experimented with identifying briefly as a man. Similarly, I was indifferent to he/him pronouns but it felt wrong when I was called a ‘man’. I wasn’t a man nor a woman nor any other gender identity. Nothing felt right.

That is, until I learned more about being Agender. Suddenly, everything just made sense.

In all honesty, I’m still learning how exactly to describe my agender identity and what it means to me but I definitely thing I’ve found the label that best fits my identity and it has brought me so much peace and confidence.

I’m excited to learn more and see what new roads have been opened to me. :)

My doctor sent me a list of all the local surgeons and various types of surgery available regarding gender changes.

Get boobs, remove boobs. Get sterilised. Get a dick. Get a vagina. That’s it.

I asked about middle-road surgeries for agender people. At best, I could get smaller boobs and sterilisation but the genitalia stays as is.

I’m AFAB and was always bigger than average in the petal department. HRT isn’t making those any smaller either. It can be really uncomfortable.

I asked about reduction for that area and apparently that’s still considered “cosmetic” and not covered by their program.

If I had been AMAB I could have had it all removed. My biology is so f***ing unfair.

Hypothetical scenario for all of you. If you couldn't medically transition at all whatsoever, which birth sex would you rather have been born as?

Here is a small story from my life.

For the first time since I've been questioning my gender identity I put in a situation where I could write anything as my gender, while also being in a situation where there wouldn't been any consequences putting something other than He/She/They.

So I sat there for a while and really thought about what I should put. I'd been using they for so long just because it was a nice blanket term for non-binary people. But it never felt right to me

I jokingly considered writing NA, but the more I thought about it, the less it became a joke. It actually felt right.

So, even though it would probably confuse the people reading my form, I put NA for gender.

I honestly don't know what to do this information. But it was nice to feel some gender euphoria again.

Hey everyone! I'm a agender teen who just came out to my mum on Monday. My family has been really nice and supportive, but I now feel like shit and regret coming out. Being misgendered really hurts now and I just wanna cry whenever it happens lol.

Is it normal to feel like shit after coming out and to regret doing it?

Hi there!

I've been agender and (slightly) transmasc for about 7-8 months now and I was wondering if you guys have any tips for how I can look less like a girl (since I'm AFAB). I get referred to as a girl a lot and it makes me super uncomfortable since I prefer either no pronouns or just going by it/he when I have to get adressed with pronouns.

I have to follow a strict set of rules for how I can dress and cut my hair (my dad allows baggy clothes but they can only be a little bit passed by hips. Im also only allowed to cut my hair to my shoulders) though since I live with transphobic parents (and I had to sneak-buy a lot of my stuff like chest binders).

If you have tips lmk ❤️

I always hated being forced into femininity and my trans ex saw me as not wanting to be be effeminate as transphobic and tried to make me be a certain way and became abusive. I get that gender dysphoria is awful, I have it too but she didn't have to inflict it on me.

Most people who transition go to the other sex but can you just have your parts removed and be neutral? lol I've wanted that since my teens but there didn't used to be a word for this kind of thing

I tried to get help with supporting my partner from the LBGT hotline but they refused to talk to me for not being trans or L :/ I mean I'm Q I guess but they didn't care at all

Anyway, cheers I'll see if I fit in but I'm not really a flag person (but if you are, great!) How old were you when you realized? How do you talk to people about this? I'm very isolated. I'm disabled with bad chronic pain and CPTSD/trauma so I don't know how to fit in, how do you be loved and accepted? Do you think it's possible?

(I posted a lot recently but it’s 2am and I have thoughts) Did anyone else constantly fluctuate when using terms to describe themselves growing up because a part of the experience explained was familiar

I had a lot of queer cousins and would often tell my fam I think I’m (insert new thing) after hearing my cousins explain it (Eg: bi, lesbian, trans, nonbinary, pans ect)

My parents would often shut it down with a whole you’re just confused thing

If anything I think I was just consufesed in gen cuz I ended up being agender and that def affected how I’m attracted to others.

But yeah anyone else have thier fam shutting you down being like that’s not true and you don’t know anything so you can’t decide

(To be fair I was like 12 when most of this was going on and I did this frequently but was also shut down just as often)

Does anyone here find that their understanding of their gender (or being agender) break at what their sexuality is?

For me it’s been difficult and I considered myself on the ace spec because I didn’t get attraction.

Turns out my prefrences aren’t in gender or looks lol

But I found a lot of it is rooted in my own views of gender and gender expression.

For me I’m interested in people at their core, if they perform an asthetic just because it’s them.

Then I’m instantly more interested in them as a person, which in turns also increases my attraction to people when they show passion or an appreciation for something.

My interest has always been more in the core of a person and realising I’m agender helped me to realise that.

Has that been the case for anyone else?

Ignore the spelling pls, Btw does anyone else think the mc from blue eyed samerui looks adrogenous? It’s likely cuz thier malnourished because the sharp jawline gives male while the hair and eye shape gives fem

Did anyone else, when imagining a character or mc struggle to figure out what gender they wanted the character to be?

Cus I often just forgot ( main character person that would 50% of the time be an extension of myself) their gender or what they where and would be like okay today you’re a woman.

Btw this is in a world with gendered standards and ect

Sometimes I’d rember and be like whatever today you’re a guy not a girl.

Like sometimes it be trans, sometimes it be nonbinary too Anyone else relate?

So, firstly, sorry, the pinned post on this subreddit is literally to stop asking if ur agender, and just use the label you want. I find that EXTREMELY hard, so thats why im here

Im afab, and since the age of about 8, hated being feminine. I wouldn't wear dresses, stuff like that. I just thought i was a tomboy and didnt conform with social norms, stuff like that, but recently I've been questioning my gender A LOT

It started abt a month ago, when i started feeling less comfortable with the label of girl. I thought i was demigirl, then demigirlflux, but the only friend who ive told abt my current gender mental crisis, casually mentioned if i was completely agender after me talking shit about dress codes, and how i didnt need to comply, being neither man or woman

I feel some attachment to being female, but the whole thought of being a girl or being feminine disgusts me, and i wish i was born without gendered parts. I know i wouldn't feel attached to being female if i wasn't afab, but idk if that attachment makes me demigirl or demigirlflux rather than agender.

Its 1am where i am, and i kinda need answers, so please, amazing agender subreddit, help me with my gender crisis

I know alot of people ask this on this sub so sorry for that. Also sorry if I spell something wrong, english isn't my first language.

I'm 19 and and amab, and i've been questionig if I might be agender latley. Up until about half a year ago I simply didn't think much about my gender. But especially in the last few weeks I have been thinking about it alot.

I have never been enthusiastic about being a man, but I don't mind it that much. I just don't feel any strong emotional conection to the thought of being a man. But I absolutly hate the thought of being masculine, and i'm frequently ashamed of being in the same group as people who have toxic masculinity as their main personality trait.

I also hate the thought of growing up and looking like a middle age man to the point that it gives me alot of anxiety and I've had to go to therapy about it. I've also sometimes wished I didn't have a masculine body, but not that often.

The thing is I know that I don't want to be a woman. I just don't feel like one. I also don't feel like i'm a another gender other than man or woman. Thats why I thought that I might be agender ever since I discoverd that term quite recently. It didn't imidatly click that I might be agender, but the more I thought about it the more it's made sense to me. I've also realised that I probably wouldn't mind if people called me by other pronouns than he/him.

The thing is I'm woried that the way I feel is just a side effect of my bad mental health. I have some big problems with general self hate that started around the same time as the thought that i might not be cis and i'm kinda worried that this is just my mind deciding that "being a man" is one of the things i'm going to dislike about myself for no good reson.

I also don't think I want to change my name (just maybe add another middle name) and i'm not sure if I want to stop using he/him pronouns completly. And also I don't care about changing my legal gender at all, for me thats just a letter on my passport.

Lastly I want want to add not being accepted isn't something I personaly have to fear, becuse I am 100% sure that all my friends and family would accept me being agender.

I just want to know what you think about all of this. And also thank you for reading through all of this if you did, it turned out longer than I thought it would.