Hetero-presenting at the outside, pan/demi on the inside. For me, it‘s all about personality 🫶🏻

Hi, over the last two years, I (40M) have realized that I might be demi/pansexual. To be honest, I went through the classic journey, from identifying as straight to bisexual and then to pansexual. It’s liberating to know that I’m not alone in this world. So, hugs to you all, and have a great day!

Lots of recent changes including a haircut & adding a moth-y tat extension to my existing chest tattoo ~ feeling so much more comfortable with myself than the last selfie I posted on here ages ago ✨️

Saw this circulating - ngl I was giggling when I bingo'ed ✨️

Logically I know that being Pan doesn't make it more likely that they would cheat. Also, I know that it doesn't mean you are attracted to all people of all genders. However, one insecurity is that it'd be much harder to tell if a strong attraction had developed between people of the same gender. i.e. no one would bat an eyelid if two married women started hanging out a lot, whereas married people of the opposite sex would raise more suspicion.

Maybe writing it here has helped phrase it correctly. Hopefully it doesn't make me a bad person....

I (19F) am engaged to a (19M)I love him and we’ve been together for years since we were kids. However, I often find myself yearning for a gay experience, not in a way of cheating, but I feel like I get crushes on girls a lot i’m aware I am pansexual I have been for years. I had a very brief relationship with a woman before my current partner (If you can even call it that because she was awful and also we were like 13) I often still find myself liking and yearning for other women/people. I love my partner. I want to be with him forever. I know he’s the person I’m going to be with, but am I too young to be making this commitment? I have this conflicting dilemma because on one hand I don’t want to be with anyone else but him, but I still however, yearn for these queer relationships or experiences ik i’ll miss out on forever but i don’t want to break up and i also don’t want to go out and use people for experience and I feel like a terrible person because I have these emotions and he’s literally the sweetest man I could ever ask for like he’s the ideal package and I feel like I’m being selfish because I have these emotions and i don’t want to hurt him. He provides me any way possible supports me mentally physically even financially when he doesn’t have to and yet here I am with all these feelings.

It’s also ideal for me to marry a man notably in my family, both my mother,aunt and my grandmother got engaged, quite young and married and had kids quite young. They are very hard-core Christian and although I have been out for awhile, I’m still not out to them and I don’t think I could quite deal with the rejection I know I will get from my family if i was to out myself - not that that’s the reason I’m with my partner. I love him and I’m lucky to have met him but it’s ideal my family members tell me how I’m lucky to have met the love of my life this young and know what I want and it’s true! I have met the love of my life, but I don’t know what I want and that’s making me a bad person I fear. it feels like the more I grow the more I’m losing the part of me that makes me queer and complicated. I am also gender fluid, but I am in a straight presenting relationship. I look like a girl, people treat me like a girl, my partner is very supportive of my gender , but ik he also just views me as a girl because I’m too scared to express myself with my gender without putting him off and my family off. I’m scared that marriage comes with this demand for kids and a simple life to be a mother and wife first- which I don’t mind if it’s with him but what if this feeling continues all the way into when we are married what if I feel this way 30 or 40 years into our marriage? That’s not fair on him.

I don’t know if I’m spiraling or I’m just being dumb. I just know i need to figure this out now rather then when i’m 60. I know my friends are sick of hearing me and I’m too scared to talk to him about this so this is where I’ve ended up. I’m sorry if I sound stupid (please lmk if I do lol ) but I’d really appreciate some advice on what to do.

BTK

I like it

I was terrified most to lose my brother. He’s my Irish twin life’s been side by side

I finally broke down and told him, I was so scared and he told me he loved me no matter what and just wants me to be happy. Not once did he question me he just kept telling me he loved and accepted me no what. I don’t think he will even know what this means to me. Like I have two people in my life that truly 💯 me. My brother and my bff. With out them I would be lost.

The yellow ones are for things that are kind of true but not really.