I’ve been with my boyfriend for 4 years now and I really love him. I think we could go long term. However, even though I feel like I’ve processed my breakup with my ex, he’s still sometimes shows up in my dreams.

Sometimes it’s innocent, and other times we’re just fully naked having sex with each other. I saw on social media that he has a new boyfriend now. The very next night, I dream of my ex, we’re flirting and his boyfriend shows up to stop us.

Idk if i should tell my partner, or if this even means anything since a lot of people day dreams are just random.

Edit: This has been happening on and off for over a year now

Im up late again thinking about it so I might just talk about it here. I had saw this cutie on instagram that my friend also follows, so I gave him a follow. Next thing you know he follows me back and we start chatting away for a few weeks. Safe to say we've been getting along pretty well, and so we ended up planning a date. Safe to say I thought it went super well. What was most memorable to me was how we were up till almost 1 am just doing random shit and talking about our interests and things we related to. I had felt that we related to each other extremely well. We also held hands and did otherp romantic & fun stuff. I remember every time id look at him he'd be smiling so hard.

Anywho few days passed and its been like radio silence. He texts me out of the blue sending a message along the lines of "im not ready for a relationship" weird thing was is that i never really asked for a relationship or to really be exclusive. Long story short, he ended up ghosting me. Im not sad about it now, I think I understand why due to his past experiences being in past relationships.

What really keeps me up is the fact that i might never be able to talk to him again. Ive been thinking about the experience and him alot during these past month. I like him aton and my heart just yearns to talk to him again. Maybe its just fantasy or maybe its something else. I dont know. I just miss him :/

PS. Im leaving alot of minor details out as I dont want to get too personal with it. but this is essentially the rundown of it

So strange situation

Me: bi AMAB

Wifey: bi F

We are cureently talking about me having hookups with other men. All the emotional and communication stuff is as done as it can be for now.

We are now thinking about safety and logistics.

My biggest concern is she is immunocompemised, and i have always had a solid immune system. Im worried about the possibility of passing something from myself to her ( sti or other wise) via oral sex. Condoms are gonna be a must for anal. We are already working on getting me on PreP

Im curious what precautions we would need to take for me so i cant contract or even just carry anything by giving head. Condoms seem irrelevant due to me wanting to swallow.

Edit: wording.

Edit 2: thank you all this is exactly the kind of shit that i need to hear. Please keep it coming

Edit 3: im fairly certain that i should make sure i dont brush my teeth the day of so there are no microcuts in my mouth for viruses or bacteria to get into. Are there any other similar precautions i should take outside of the medications/vaccines that have been listed in the comments

Been talking to a guy for going on three months and we are PERFECTLY compatible. We talk every single second of the day, have the same hobbies, when we hang out in person he's hugging me and wrapping my arms around him, when I don't text back fast he gets a little aggravated.etc

He's obviously very into me and we are basically in a "relationship" as that's how we treat each other. He opens up to me about anything and I'm falling for him

However he won't actually say let's be in a relationship or anything and we try and just be platonic (he wants this not me) but it goes right back to the usual.

Today he slipped up and we had a sexual message exchange and then he told me

"I'm gonna fuck you, and you're going to think we're together, but we're not going to be, and then you're gonna start seeing other people, and I'm going to get jealous, and then we're not going to be able to be friends anymore. This is why I don't want to have sex"

I don't understand what this means especially when he's already possessive over me. He asks me who I'm texting if I grab my phone around him or has a bit of a spazz when I don't text back soon enough.

I’m starting a new job in a few weeks which will give me an hour commute each way. Looking for some new podcasts and especially some that focus on gay culture.

I’m looking for some storytelling or structured podcasts and less “friends talking” (I find them annoying but change my mind). A gay “This American Life” is right in my wheelhouse.

Open to any podcasts but need some recommendations for those boring AF commute.

I would love to make a movie in the vein of those buddy cop movies like 21 jump street, ford v Ferrari and Deadpool and wolverine only the twist being they end up together in the end instead of making wink 😜 wink gay no homo jokes. What about you guys?

so as any gay man knows, its easy to find gay relationship stories that are sexy or scandalous or even dangerous*, but no one talks about the day in day out bit. the bit where you make cups of tea and do laundry and taxes with these people.

that's the bit I want to hear about. tell me about your boring 30 year relationship and the unglamourous parts.

*looking at you hayes code/american horror story

Is it tacky to surprise my boyfriend with a Valentine’s Day trip? Nothing crazy, just a couple nights away for me and him. I’ve gotten him a few other gifts and I was planning on doing this regardless but I just wanted some opinions on if it’s worth telling him about at Christmas or just surprising him some other way?

Any thoughts and feedback appreciated!

My ex left me to have fun. Ironically I'm getting a lot of attention from guys since I moved and a mutual friend said he's not. I'm pretty over him at this point but like feel even better knowing karma hit. Does that make me a bad person?

I’m 19 and in college. I saw this guy I thought was cute at my orientation a few months back and we have a few classes together. It’s a college that most commute to and we’re both political sci majors. We’ve interacted a few times. I usually talk to or DM him on Insta first.

I honestly can’t tell if he’s straight or not. I feel like he is. 70-30 odds IMO. Is it just dumb to ask him out if Im believing that’s he’s straight? It’s a conservative area in Indiana. I feel like the feeling might be me projecting a bit. I’m gay, but most wouldn’t guess it.

I don’t know what to do here. There’s not a friendship to lose or anything. We’re not close at all. I just don’t know the etiquette for a situation like this. It feels wrong to just ask, I guess.

Any advice?

Had one experience and loved it . Married but crave to be fucked . Love hearing how men want to fuck me . Please help 😘

Met him at my best mate’s party, he was a friend of a friend, our handshake was weird as he stared at me with a look on his face that said “I know you” even though I’ve never seen the cunt ever before (Sydney is big).

He kept stealing glances from across the room, even followed me outside to the balcony when I went for a ciggie. He sneaked up on me and poked me in my stomach, which made me flinch hard as I am ticklish and deaf in my left ear so I didn’t see him coming.

He got drunk, and asked me to take him to a room to rest, I took him to the guest room which my best mates dad always said it was my room in their house. He asked me not to leave him alone, so I stayed. We started chatting. Turns out he came from Canada here in AUS when he was 16. He was nice to talk to. He told me how exhausted he was from his job, and how he’s so lonely since he broke up with his girlfriend 4 months prior.

He said how he has to cuddle his pillow to fall asleep. Otherwise he can’t. I offered him a cuddle. He agreed. I asked him what he wanted to do. And he said he’s never cuddled a lad before and he wanted to be the little spoon. I cuddled him for hours, and over the course of the summer we became close friends. Frequent sleepovers and hangouts. Gave him the nicknames Maple Syrup and Poutine.

I never noticed how much he stared at my lips, or how touchy he was, how he always found a way to compliment me. Did notice how flustered he got once when confronted him for staring after I was stretching and my shirt lift up exposing my stomach and happy trail.

You wanna kiss me or something, maple syrup? I asked him with a devilish grin

Stop it. He insisted but I just got closer to him

Just answer me, please.

So what if I do?

I looked around. We were all alone at the car repair shop me and my pops own. I looked at him again. Reckon no one’s stopping you, cunt.

I saw how speechless he got, stumbling upon his words, how his blue eyes were so shiny. I got so close to him I felt the smell of blueberry gum on his breath.

You drive me crazy, he chuckled, he tried to sound nonchalant about it, but his voice and set of words gave him away. I got even closer to him. Finally kissing him. After two months of us sneaking around and hiding to kiss, he finally told me how he never knew he was into dude’s before he met me, and the night we met, he knew I was trouble, and that day he told me that, I asked maple syrup to be my maple syrup.

Basically the title question. Just curious and I've been considering doing that

Howdy guys,

So I have always identified as Bi, since like middle school. It was kind of a label assigned to me by my group of friends, not like a discovery or anything.

Anyway, flash-forward in time.

I've been intimate with both sexes and such, did the marriage thing with a woman, divorced, started dating another girl.

Recently, met a guy and realized, after we both sort of confided in each other that "I'm gay, just coped quite a lot" that so much self-loathing, depression, and stuff made sense.

I have a lot of conversations I need to have with people now, some apologies I owe as well. Though, I feel like a weight has been lifted.

Super glad to have figured things out, but also nervous about the future, but who isn't.

My partner and I are off to Gran Can tomorrow for winter pride. Anyone else going and fancy a meet up for drinks?

Question for the fellow gaymers out there.

Did BG3 really pull off homosexuality right and is Veilguard just creating more homophobia?

When I played Dragon Age Origins there wasn't any gay romance option for Alistair and I didn't really clique with Zevran, only later did I play through Origins again with mods and thankfully someone had created a gay mod for Alistair. So I'm very happy Veilguard is more gay to put it bluntly, but the problem is the dialogue and writing is so bad, it's like the devs forgot that Dragon Age Origins was the edgy dark emo phase of RPG's, it showed a much more grittier world than most rpg's we had seen before, especially my favorites like Baldurs Gate, Icewind Dale and Arcanum (if you ignore where half ogres come from).

What BG3 did right was make every romancable companion available for all sexual orientations, no more being stuck with Zevran or Lelianna pandering options, Larian studios made romance accessible for everyone. BG3 is beloved by gamers, sure the bigots still hate on it for being liberal but they were going to hate anything gay no matter what. In BG3 I can be gay, and those who don't doesn't have to have gay content lectured upon them.

With Veilguard what I see from my limited perspective is a significant part that feels like the majority of gamers are blaming gays and trans for the game sucking so much, it didn't fail because the writing and narrative direction is complete shit, it failed because of gays in gaming.

Are developers like Bioware creating more homophobia by making sexuality the main tag of their game? Unlike Larian Studios who in my opinion created more tolerance by showing how homosexuality in games is done right.

https://preview.redd.it/he9fgdre0jyd1.jpg?width=1280&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=271d4cee392ed78fd4ea664dc435e28ffe325054

Idk how to say it any other way. Last two years I kept attracting bottoms that didn't want to me to touch their dick. I mean it was okay. Then I hooked up with a verse guy and I just wanted to blow him all night at some point. Like I didn't even know I missed sucking dick until I was in bed with this dude. Like that's all I wanted to do at some point with him.

I’m over it, I’m over trying, I’m over never fitting in or never being anyone’s type. At 33 and 8 years later I’ve lost all the weight I can I workout I go on walks I take care of myself I eat healthy and wouldn’t ya know it I’m still rejected. Why did I better myself? Why did I lose 120lbs. Why is this community so superficial and everything based on if you’re a twink or not. I’m just sick of this. I have no one to vent to about this and I’m tired of bottling it up. I envy slimmer guys I really do, I wish I knew what it was like to be messaged and get attention. I wish I had that but no, instead I do my best and it’s still never good enough and at my age now it never will be. I’m seriously about to pull the plug and just throw in the towel altogether. This is what makes me loathe the gay community I really have tried my best to fit in but why even support a community that truly doesn’t care about me or anything other than body image. If I could afford the surgery to get my body exactly how I wanted it I would but that’s just a pipe dream at this rate. I’m tired…. If I get hate for this it’s whatever I get it, it’s a pity party, but we all need to vent we all need someone to talk to and I’m just over all if it. Most days I don’t even want to wake up and I hope I don’t before I go to bed.

EDIT: sometimes I go to dark places in my mind I really mean to do it I don’t mean to wind up like this and seek validation and make depressing posts asking for attention because honestly a lot of you are 100% right wether I want to see it or not, I do need to get help in some way shape or form, I don’t know why my mind works like this, I know a lot of this stems from childhood, I know a lot stems from being fat for years, I know a lot is do to mental health issues, I know a lot is due to past medications, yes I have issues, to all of you that took the time out of your day to comment you really have made me feel a lot better, I need to stop this I need to get better I just don’t know how I have been in this dark place for a while where my mind tells me I’m not good enough, but then I remember what I’ve overcome over the years and where I’m at in life, I can have it a lot worse, I can actually be 320lbs still, I can be dirt poor still, but I’ve made all these changes in life and overcame all that only to get on here and seek validation because I was depressed and in a dark spot…. I need to change for myself and no one else. I do genuinely love this Reddit group, I’m so sorry for what I said about myself I’m sorry that I made this post but at the same time I thank all of you for being there for me and taking time to write to me. It means the world. I needed this today I really did. I promise you all I will try and get better. ❤️‍🩹

I've been exploring European "Golden Age" adult films from the 1970s, and the quality is impressive––far superior to most other porn I've seen. A standout example is the Josefine Mutzenbacher series, set in a beautifully recreated 19th-century Prussia. The costumes, settings, and actors all feel very authentic and visually stunning. According to Wikipedia, it has been descibed as an "all-time foreign favorite" and "one of the best porns of all time".

What's remarkable is the prevalence of homoerotic themes and playful camaraderie among men (a.k.a "high jinx"), despite being aimed at a heterosexual audience. Here are a couple of scenes I found (I'd attach GIFs, but that's probably against the sub's rules):

• In a lively tavern, a courtesan is subtly fondled by a young hussar and an older gentleman under the table, each unaware of the other’s advances. The older man, mistaking the hussar’s hand for the woman’s, guides it toward his genitals. The hussar, unable to object without revealing the situation, has to comply.

• A male band of musicians assist a shy young man in having sex, by physically lifting and rocking him back and forth with a woman until he finishes, singing and playing music to encourage him along.

• A group of young hussars have a playful contest to see who can ejaculate onto the buttocks of the watching courtesans. Afterwards, they all danse with the women and each other, fully clad in military uniforms, with only their penises hanging out and swinging.

• Cavalrymen race each other on horseback, while one hussar has a women sit in front and penetrates her. As he wins the race, the hurried rhythm of horseriding causes him to climax, and he falls behind. The woman then switches to another rider, and after sharing drinks and laughs, the race continues.

The films feature plenty of other scenes having sex while engaging in camaraderie——bantering, sharing drinks, competing, or performing Brüderschaft, etc.

I may be reading too much into this, but it seems like a reflection of a broader culture shift towards a more rigid and binary view of sexual behaviour over the past 50 years. While there is no actual man-on-man sex here, friendly, even intimate, interactions among men are normalised in a way that feels refreshing. Another example that comes to mind is how, not long ago, it was common for all men at the YMCA had to swim (and sometimes be photographed) fully naked (1, 2) without it being seen as unusual.

Does the fear of being ghosted whilst dating ever stress you out? Like I think it’s happening to me atm despite some good dates with a guy who came across interested. Tbh it would be a relief if it turned out he was no longer keen so I could get on with dealing with it.

The fear of being ghosted really stresses me out, but it isn’t quite as damaging as it used to be. Any strategies on how to deal with this? Can’t be looking at your phone all the time waiting for a response. I also think if someone is keen they definitely will respond back.

Does anyone have advice on making friends in college? I HATE to use my gayness as an excuse to not be social, but i’m also kind of shy. I have a lot of female friends, but it can be easy to feel like i’m nothing more than the token gay best friend to them, and i simply have little to no connection with other guys which is sad. A lot of the “gay spaces” are very purely (and understandably) focused on nothing but gayness, which is fine, but just not for me.

I (20,M) matched with a guy on Tinder, and the chats were definitely interesting and not a bore, and after around 3 weeks of talking, we met up and I felt that the date went well, the guy even walked me to the train station and I was excited about the prospect of dating someone especially since I got out of a situationship for 3 months which somewhat broke me at that time. I thought it’d work out and I’d have my first boyfriend, but the days following the date, it felt like he suddenly lost interest, and when I was confused by the switch-up, and asked if he was lost interest, he said that he wasn’t doing well mentally since he just moved out recently (he mentioned he had ADHD before, so I assumed that might have some relation to how he wasn’t doing well mentally), and he didn’t want to lead me on especially when he wasn’t doing well, and now after 2 months, it feels like I’m still not over him and I just feel dumb.

I’m definitely new to the dating stuff as I’ve never been in a relationship, and I just kinda feel helpless atp. Any advice is definitely appreciated, definitely need help moving on

I really don’t get it… I look my age (some say even younger), I act my age, and on dating apps I specify that I’m only looking for guys in their 20s, and still I get a lot of messages from older guys and not nearly as much from guys around my age… what am I doing wrong?

Edit: is it really that hard for some of you to accept that some younger gay men are not into older men? What on earth is wrong with that?

Maybe I’m grieving? I don’t know. I hooked up with this guy semi-regularly for years. From like 2019-2023 then I moved cities.

He was a little older than I was, not someone I was ever interested in dating, but we basically used eachother for sex. He was always available.

Towards the latter end of our hooking up we became a little more friendly. Like would talk more and hang out, whereas previously it was straight up a transaction of sex.

Last august I remember texting him and asking how things were and he told me he had cancer so we chatted about that for a bit.

Then in November I texted him to see how he was doing. He didn’t respond to me, so I assumed he was busy, or just taking time to himself and I eventually forgot

Then today..almost a full year later, I had him come across my mind so I figured I try reaching out to see how treatment was going. Turns out he died in September of 23’ I went to his FB.

I just got this weird feeling like “damn I straight up treated that guy like he was a piece of meat, and now he’s gone..that was a whole human being”

I still have his texts. I can still hear his voice. I feel awful, I do feel sad, but I feel gross. I don’t think I ever want to hookup with someone again. Like, to treat someone with so much…objectification, and then you realize that was a human being with people who loved him.

He was genuinely a nice guy, I just wish over 4 years we spent having sex, my insecure closeted sex addicted ‘trying really hard to be a good Christian while sneakily having a shit ton of secret sex’ ass wasn’t afraid of building a connection with someone at that time. And he was expressed so many times he was into me and I downplayed it. I’m not complaining about me missing dick or that I missed my chance. I just feel so weird…

I have therapy, maybe I should bring this up in my next session.

I don’t know how to really process this. Or grieve him? Like what would I be grieving other than sex?