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I am 32 and my husband is 35. I have been off of birth control since Jan of this year. I was on the pill pretty consistently for about 14 years. Since Jan we’ve had zero luck with even finding consistent ovulation. My periods are pretty regular and we’ve been having consistent sex when I should be ovulating (and in general lol) and yet…nothing. I know 10 months is nothing compared to what a lot of people experience but I just feel so disappointed each month. Every woman in my family has prided themselves on being able to have a kid the night they want. My mom warned me when we got married that every time she stopped her birth control, she immediately got pregnant with me and my siblings so to be careful.

When should I be looking into this? Or is 10 months really not that big of a deal?

Feeling incredibly isolated and hopeless today.

Me (30F) and husband (30M) are childless. Mainly because of external factors that keep getting in the way of us starting a family. He keeps pushing back and, when we have been in periods of trying, I’ve just never been lucky enough to fall pregnant.

Anyway, today I feel I have hit rock bottom. Weekends are always hard and I spend them just sleeping and waiting for Monday. I imagine how my weekends would be different with a child. This has been made so much worse this week by a friend announcing her pregnancy. I wake up and don’t want to get out of bed. I usually spend my whole Sunday in tears but this is really affecting my relationship.

I feel an overwhelming loneliness. It is as if a void now exists between me and my husband. It’s like I have this immense, overwhelming sadness and I can’t express any of it. When I do, he’s so pragmatic and wants to fix things. But he can’t, so instead, I just disconnect, cry and tell him there’s nothing he can do.

I can’t be the only one who feels like this?

Hi everyone, I've lurked for a while but this is my first time posting. F35 and M34, this is our 11th cycle. We've both been tested for the standard things about 3 months ago and everything looked good - SA came back all good, and I'm structurally sound with good AMH levels.

I have regular periods but the only thing that drives me mad is the spotting I get during my luteal phase. It normally starts about 6-7DPO but this month (and a few months ago) it's started at 3DPO. It makes me assume I'm out of the game for the month (as it always precedes my period). I haven't had my progesterone levels checked - fertility doc I saw in the summer said there's no conclusive proof that low progesterone affects chances of conception or carrying a baby to term (although he said some doctors do recommend it in certain cases). I've mentioned it to lots of medical professionals ove the years (at colposcopies, with GPs, etc etc) and have just been told "it's normal" "nothing to worry about" "you're just sensitive to your own hormones."

My hyperactive brain can't help in getting that my womb lining is shedding too early for implantation to happen successfully!

Meanwhile all my friends are sailing to BFP with no problem ... it's so tough.

Any thoughts, advice or similar experiences? Thank you!

Hi all,

Hope this finds you well.

I want to preface this by stating that I have always had very regular 28 day al cycles prior to my miscarriage.

I had a miscarriage where they attempted both natural and miso but ultimately led to a d and c in August 7th .i had my first period (after having spotting) approximately seven weeks after the d and c. Then go through to October. I experienced spotting after sex and has thrush and this continued for 10 days until I got my period again around October 23rd. I just went to the toilet and wiped and noticed some blood. It’s 10 days again until my period is due. We would love to get pregnant again (I had my first just over a year ago on October 31 2023). Has this happened to anyone before? If so did you get to the cause? And also is it my age (39). I’m so anxious about not being able to conceive again.

Thanks so much for all of your help

This is a thread for TFABers of AMA (advanced maternal awesomeness)! TTC past 35 comes with its own challenges -- discuss (and rant about) them here. Like the Pirate's Code, "35 and over" is more of a guideline.

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I’ve only had three normal cycles since my miscarriage and then a uterine polyp issue I had to deal with for a couple of months.

My first cycle in September was perfect, my LH began to rise CD 11. It went from .08 to .28 then .83 by the late evening. By morning it was up to .90 and that evening on CD 12 it was at 1.24.

Then my last two cycles (October and November) have been super fast. I didn’t even catch my October peak, in one day it went from .08 to .59 and then in the morning it back down to .34. HOWEVER I was being monitored by my clinic this cycle, and through bloodwork and ultrasound they found my LH to be at a good number and my egg was large and ready. So I don’t know why my LH strips are showing such a strange trend?

During my current cycle, today it went from .1 last night, .39 this morning, .77 this afternoon, and now it’s .65 tonight.

Could I have peaked between this afternoon and this evening?! I’m so confused and wondering why my LH is rising and falling so quickly.

Volume: 1.4ml Concentration: 40 m/ml Motility: 66% Total Motile: 37M Normal Morphology: 1%

——

I am sorry if this is in the wrong sub but we didn’t get much of response from male infertility.. I am aware this means “teratozoospermia” based on doing a little bit of research but our clinic really just slapped this result on us and said “good luck” - what is the severity of this result? We are currently doing medicated cycles with letrozole and timed intercourse and have been TTC for a year.

Can this be fixed with supplements such as CoQ10? Are we still good candidates for natural conception (plus letrozole) or should we be moving on to IUI?

I’m really stressed out and our clinic kinda left us hanging, hopefully someone has some insight.

That question you've been wanting to ask, but just didn't want to feel silly. Now's your chance! No question is too big or too small. This thread will be checked all weekend, so feel free to chime in on Saturday or Sunday!

Me (24f) and my husband (25m) have been trying to get pregnant for over a year but haven’t been using any protection for a few years, and are currently on month 2 of taking clomid (50mg) . I have PCOS and rarely have more than one natural period a year. Last month I took norethisterone to induce a period in order to take my first course of clomid. Although I didn’t get pregnant I did have a next period which the doctor said is a good sign the clomid is working. This month I had a follicular scan on day 20 which showed a healthy thick lining and the doctor said I had ovulated already this cycle. I am now on day 46 and have had no period, three pregnancy tests done on days 33, 37 and 39 were all negative. Last month I had a lot of pms symptoms like spotting cramping sore breasts crazy hunger etc and the cycle lasted 34 days. Now I have none of those. My fertility doctor is very hard to contact and I don’t know how long I’m supposed to wait for my period to come before I contact her secretary to try and speak to the doctor (I’m from the UK so have the ingrained guilt of ever wasting the NHS’s time!) She didn’t really give me a lot of information, just “hope you get pregnant but if you don’t keep taking the tablets each cycle, see you in 4 months if it doesn’t work” so I’m not too well informed on what to expect, is this kind of change in cycle length normal? How long should I wait before contacting her? When is the best time to take a pregnancy test when using clomid? Has anyone been in a similar situation? Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

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Moody Monday, Temping Tuesday, Giveaway Tuesday, Waiting Wednesday, Wondering Wednesday, Trying Again Thursday, Thankful Thursday, Health and Wellness Thursday, Looking Forward Friday, Wondering Weekend, 35 and Ova, COVID-19 Discussion.

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34 female here, I've always had irregular periods. Missed periods, unexplained bleeding mid cycle, very long, very short. Everywhere. I've been on birth control to eliminate them and have been for on and off them for 10 years. Been off for 4 months and it's just getting more abnormal as I test hormones to try and time things. I did not actively bleed last month. So i assumed it was just a bloodless cycle for me like it has before. And started LH testing after that assumed cycle startm. My LH wave has spiced 4 times now over 13 days, well past assumes ovulation. And still has yet to be low. So I had more blood done and was not indicated of POCS.

17-HYDROXYPROGESTERONE -25ng/dL

ANDROSTENEDIONE - 63ng/dL

TESTOSTERONE, FREE -1.9pg/mL

I'm not concerns that I'm not pregnant yet. But I have no clue at this point on when or how to help with ttc. Anyone else have advise on determining ovulation or what I can look into more? My insurance doesn't covered infertility which there labeling this hormone imbalance as.

I’m at a loss for words. I just found out our first IUI failed AFTER our clinic told me earlier this week my pregnancy test (blood test) came back positive.

Apparently our clinic’s barcode label they use is outdated, so when my bloodwork was sent to the testing center at their other location, they had to remove that label and print out a new one for the blood vial to make it compatible with their system. Somehow, my bloodwork was mishandled and I got someone else’s results.

They told me Wednesday that my bloodwork came back positive and the IUI was successful. After I went back this morning to measure my levels again, I got home and started bleeding heavily (it turned out that it was my regular period). I was fully convinced that I had lost the pregnancy. A few hours later, I got a call from the clinic saying that the barcode system mixed up my results and I was actually negative the entire time. How does this happen?!

I fully prepared myself during the TWW for the possibility that this could not work the first time. My husband and I were blown away when we got that call on Wednesday and were on this two day high of happiness. Now we’re back at square one, in the weirdest way possible. I feel like I have the worst luck in the world.

I have regular 28 day cycles with ovulation right in the middle. This past cycle, I was around 10 DPO when I started to get curious about if I was pregnant or not. No symptoms yet, just curious. I started TTC four months ago, and this really was the first month of doing everything right.

I used home pregnancy tests. At 9 or 10 DPO there was a faint line! Ok, so for the next three days I kept checking, and kept getting lines on three different brands! Yay.

So I called my doctor and said I want to make an appointment to get my first beta around 22 DPO, just because I figured I should give it some time. Doctor recommended I come in for the beta at 15 DPO (probably because they wanted to check my TSH since I started taking synthroid a month earlier). At about 15 DPO, my hcg was 147. A few days later at another beta test, the hcg dropped to 32 and I pretty soon cramped and bled out the globs of tissue. I was devastatingly heart broken.

*** Here’s my thought. If I had never used home pregnancy tests, I never would have known that there was a brief early pregnancy, and I would have simply gotten my “period” a few days late. And I would have avoided the misery that I’m suffering from right now. So my coping mechanism is to retroactively play ignorant and wipe out the fact that I tested positive and simply got my period a few days late. I mean, that could easily happen - maybe it even happened before and I didn’t know because I wasn’t testing.

Am I being irrational?

Hi! I’m looking for advice.

Background: My husband (34) and myself (32) have been trying to conceive for over a year. I made an appointment with my obgyn around the 6 month mark and they ran an AMH test and a SA test. AMH was normal/high but my husband’s SA was below normal due to prior testosterone usage. He stopped immediately and was referred to a urologist. He completed 3 months of medicine (Clomid/HCG) in August. Around that same time, I scheduled with an RE to discuss options. I did an HSG that was normal. I’ve done no other testing as he doesn’t think it’s necessary (regular 28 day cycle, positive OPK/BBT indicating ovulation, normal blood tests / thyroid etc.) and we’re paying out of pocket. We did a repeat SA in September and my husband’s SA results are now normal (on the lower side but normal).

On to my question - we are now eligible for IUI based on his results. We’re planning to try 3-4 IUI cycles before IVF. My doctor left it up to me to decide if it’s medicated or unmedicated. He does recommend unmedicated as the success rate does not go up with medicine but the risk of multiples does (which is a funny fear to hear when you’ve never seen a positive).

Any advice, thoughts, comments? I’m drawn to medicated (I just feel like we’ll be more successful) but interested in other’s opinions

Heading into my third month of TTC. I’ve been considering trying Wellbutrin for a while and wanted to hold off until after giving birth to try it. Well obviously you can’t control when you get pregnant even when trying, and I don’t want to wait a year to try something that could be beneficial for my mental health.

I’m on 10mg of Prozac and it’s been great. My anxiety is SO much better and I feel less depressed too. I plan on sticking with it throughout TTC and pregnancy as long as it’s okay with my doctors.

However, I still do struggle with depression in some ways. I’m SO tired. I hardly have the energy to do anything after work. I consider taking a nap everyday and it’s hard to keep up with healthy habits because I’m so drained. I also have been gaining weight and turn to snacking for comfort. I’ve heard great things about Wellbutrin for depression and eating. I set up an appointment to talk to my doctor about starting on a low dose next week.

What’s your experience with Wellbutrin and TTC?

My medical history goes like we were not ready to have a baby for a long time, so I got an abortion years ago. In 2022 I had myomectomy without complications, the operation literally saved my life, my cycles became shorter and better. We are trying for 6 months and I had a CP in July. After that, I've read almost every topic in here about TTC, for the first time in my life I checked my hormone profile.

Now my AMH is 0.7 and FSH is 12, a random doctor who shared my results swiftly directed me to the private infertility specialist happens to be his friend, saying that my profile is not looking good at all. Is it really this bad? Shouldn't I at least try for a baby naturally for like 3 months or so, just in case?

Period started today

Today is the first day of my period and I am out of town and won’t return till tomorrow night which is Saturday. I was supposed to be starting my first medicated cycle on Letrozole 5mg. The earliest I can get a baseline ultrasound and lab work will be on Monday as I believe my clinic does not function on the weekends so then I will be CD4. Do you think it is still possible to start a medicated cycle this round? I don’t want to waste another whole month. Historically with my cycles, I do have a dominant follicle. They just grow extremely slow with very very late ovulation , which is why we are adding the medicine. Do you think it would be okay to advocate for letrozole CD 4-8 or 5-9? What have you all done in your clinicals. Really really don’t want to waste one cycle. Very frustrating my period could not wait two more days.

There’s so much that’s difficult about TTC, so this is a thread for looking to the future and thinking about life after TTC.

This week’s theme: Division of labor! How will you and your partner divide childcare duties? Will one of you stay home with baby? Will you split night wakeups evenly? 

Anything, within the rules, goes.

Don't forget to check out our themed threads! If the links below don't take you to the most recent thread, check back in a couple of hours.

Moody Monday, Temping Tuesday, Giveaway Tuesday, Waiting Wednesday, Wondering Wednesday, Trying Again Thursday, Thankful Thursday, Health and Wellness Thursday, Looking Forward Friday, Wondering Weekend, 35 and Ova, COVID-19 Discussion.

There's also the Weekly Introductions and Read Me Thread, which contains links to all sorts of handy bits of info, like popular wiki posts and acronyms.

Hey all. In October 2023, I found out I was pregnant. It was our first pregnancy. Turned out it was a complete molar pregnancy, it came back after 2 D and C’s, I was on a few different chemo drugs for a few months (diagnosed with choriocarcinoma) I was 29. Most of the drugs are considered low risk to fertility, but one of them was cyclophosphamide. I was on the Lupron injection to help preserve. I finished chemo 6 months ago, my oncologist has cleared me to TTC again. I made an appointment later this month with my regular doctor that I’ve had for years to hopefully do some tests to see where my body is at. I’m terrified. I’ve always wanted to have children and I’m so scared my chances are gone. I had to be on the pill during treatment as well and stopped that one month ago, have not had a period yet. I feel so sad and low and can’t stop crying. I’m so scared to hear something I don’t want to. I have to stay off Google because I read so many mixed things. I just want this so badly and it feels like everyone around me is getting pregnant without the heartache and trauma. Thanks for reading.

TW: abortion, obviously

We have been trying for years, finally got pregnant, and then miscarried at 8 weeks. We chose a D&C after my body didn’t pass the baby after a week because of the risk of infection and also the thought of passing baby in a toilet at work became more and more scary to me with each passing day. I didn’t know how to cope with that or what to do.

It’s been about 4 weeks now since D&C and after the latest election results, I felt I had to have a conversation with my husband about what happens moving forward if things go wrong again.

I’m willing to risk enduring a miscarriage in a toilet at work. It would be horrible, but still worth it to me to possibly have a baby. But, what I’m NOT ok with, is having a fatal issue happen like ectopic pregnancy, and not being able to get the care I need. I’m at a much higher risk for this because I have PCOS and my progesterone is low. So this is a very real fear of mine. I live in Indiana where options are limited, but close enough to Michigan where I could just go there for help. But with the upcoming government, these protections are in question.

I explained to my husband that if all abortions are outlawed, I no longer want to be pregnant. If there are no safe places for me to go for help if something goes wrong, then I don’t want to even try. I asked what he thought, and he hesitated to answer… So then I got mad. He stuttered and said something to the effect of “we just had a miscarriage, I’m mourning… I want a baby.”

Bitch, me too!!!! I suffered a miscarriage too, it was my body, I had the 2 weeks of morning sickness, I had the food aversions, I managed the mood swings. I lost what was my BABY to me too. I wanted the baby, and then I had it and lost it too.

And now, I’m not willing to do all that again if I’m guaranteed no care for myself. I’m a person. I have a life and a future. I would happily give it all up for my baby to have a life. But if baby will definitely not survive, as with ectopic pregnancy, and I likely won’t live, then no, I don’t want to carry it, and yes, I’d like medical options to prevent my death.

I simply scoffed at my husband, and told him I would NEVER put him in a spot where his life was at risk, and if the situation were reversed, I would never ask him to carry a baby in an unsafe space.

He did eventually say he wouldn’t want that for me either. But I think the damage has been done. I don’t know if I want to try for a baby anymore.

Edit: I can’t respond to all of these messages; there are so many. Thank you for the support; I hope those of you who commented in ignorance learned from the comments. The mods were unbelievably supportive and responsive to the hateful comments and I’m thankful for this safe community.

To continue, I wish nothing more than health and happiness for everyone trying for a baby in this scary time.

I did talk to my husband more in the morning. He was apologetic, and explained he was afraid of the thought we’d never be able to have a baby, but loves me more than anything in the world, and reacted on emotions. We’re solid here in terms of marriage. I love him to the moon and back; I don’t fault him for wanting a baby, I do too. He’s learning to process this right along side me. Things are different, but we’re still together in it.

…And to anyone who hates on it, go kick rocks.

I am 33yo, TTC for 1 year with 3 miscarriages. Prior to TTC, I had IUDs for 10 years total and was on oral birth control for about 5 years before that. Before my last miscarriage, I had an ultrasound on the day of ovulation which showed my endometrial lining was 3.8mm. Somehow I was able to get pregnant that month and remained pregnant for 8 weeks before miscarrying and needing a D&C, although with much intervention from my doctor-- oral Progesterone 3x/day and daily Progesterone injections as well as Aspirin. I did not get periods while I had IUDs and have had very short and light periods since the IUDs have been removed. I have met with 2 fertility specialists and have had so many tests, including genetic testing of my last miscarriage, all which came back normal. The most recent fertility specialist I met with confirmed what I had been suspecting, that my endometrial lining may be thin due to years of IUDs and birth control, effecting my hormones. Now I know many people who have gotten pregnant right away and remained pregnant, but I have been suspecting that my body has reacted differently to the artificial hormones from the IUDs and OCPs. I plan to give my body a few months to try to 'reset' before TTC again, however I am a bit worried that my hormones and thin endometrial lining are thin beyond the point of return and may never be at levels which could sustain a normal pregnancy. I have heard stories from others who suspect similar situations of hormonal birth control causing a thin endometrial lining, but of course there are no large studies out there to back this. Does anyone have any similar experience? Really feeling a bit hopefully at the moment. Thank you!!

My husband and I are currently trying for pregnancy, although technically this wouldn’t be my “first” pregnancy. I have had an abortion years before we even met, which he knows. I just can’t shake the feeling of being “ready” to have a child now although I had the chance of having a child prior to meeting my now husband. I’m not even fully ready now but when are you ever really fully ready, right? I continuously feel guilt and think “what made the previous unborn child less worthy of life?”. You never really hear people discuss how abortion can make you feel guilty and pretty much haunt your entire existence. Regardless of whether or not I was ready for that child back then, or the lack of support I would’ve had from their would-have-been father, I know that child would have been a blessing. It’s hurts, every single day.

I usually use ovulation tests in the morning after getting ready. Right before entering my fertile window, Premom App reminds me to test in the afternoon too and that LH tends to be higher then. I‘ve also read on all the subs that testing in the afternoon can confirm ovulation better than a morning read. But I have an issue: whenever I test in the afternoon, the line is basically invisible. Even if LH seemed really high in the morning.

I do drink a lot of water so I tried holding off drinking anything for 2ish hours before testing but that didn’t change anything. In combination with the weird afternoon readings, my BBT also seems to be all over the place. It does tend to spike the day after a positive ovulation test and falls on the first few days on my period but apart from that it’s a bit all over the place. This makes me worry I might not even ovulate.

Does anyone have any experience with this?

Myself, 32, and my wife, 33, have been trying for 2.5 years with about ever being close to a positive test, and it often makes me think if it will ever happen for us.

I’m not looking for reassurances but just other people’s experiences as we’re currently on the NHS waiting list and have been for for almost a year. As we have been labelled unexplained, it often feels like we’re taken over by others in the queue, which does often feel frustrating as we feel like we’re supposed to solve this problem on our own.

Going private doesn’t feel like an option at this point due to it costing so much and us receiving very little positive or negative information regarding our health.

For reference

My sperm results came back normal

My wife has had the following tests •All bloods normal, no thyroid issues •Transabdominal and transvaginal ultrasounds normal •PCOS but all hormones and periods regular •HSG (hysterosalpingogram) to test for blocked fallopian tubes done March 2024, clear

I’m in the US and during this open enrollment, I plan to switch my current insurance (Kaiser) to a plan that includes some coverage for fertility specialist visits so we can get some tests/advice. My question is does my husband also need to switch his insurance plan to the same one as mine (i.e one that covers fertility treatments/testing). I’m super new to this process but have just been advised by my obgyn to do this switch so I can get more tests done. But I wasn’t sure if sperm analysis etc for my husband would be billed through his insurance or mine? It’s a bit costly for both of us to switch to a higher monthly premium insurance tier so I want to be sure if both of us need to switch our plans or just me. Thank you in advance. Edit to add: we are self employed so we have to buy our own insurance and it’s already a bit expensive.

I’m looking for advice or similar experiences. I was on the pill for over a decade and went off at the end of March this year. I never got a period and after some research and meeting with an RE we think I had HA as a result of stress and a history of an eating disorder. I made positive lifestyle changes and gained a healthy amount of weight and I felt like my cycle was coming back but nothing happened. I’ve responded to the progesterone challenge and I’ve seen positive OPKs, this last month ovulation was confirmed with blood work. My doctor wants me to start Letrozole but I feel a weird sense of shame or guilt for needing to use a medication when I feel like I might have brought this on myself for not taking better care of my health…I know that’s not logical and I would never speak that way to a friend but we are our own worst critics! I have an Oura ring and I feel like my cycle is actually starting to look normal. Should I wait and see if it comes back naturally? Or start the drug because it’s been 7 months of no cycle. I’m feeling so torn.