After 4 failed ICIs my doctor gave me letrozole to help with my current cycle and I’d love to hear how everyone else found this drug. I’m 3 days in and have felt my mood drop quite a bit.

We are having a really hard journey and I’m feeling so down on everything especially with everyone announcing their April/may 2025 babies currently which was my due date. I disconnected from social media to get a break from it all and then my neighbour announced her pregnancy to me in person while I walked my dog 😅

I’m trying to pull myself back out of the pit of infertility and loss so I’d absolutely love to hear your positive stories, little wins and seek some extra support from the only people that really understand what this journey is like. Thank you all ❤️

I recently hit the 12 week mark in my pregnancy and my wife and I just started sharing the news with friends and family. Something that has really surprised is how many questions we’ve gotten about the donor. I mean, I guess I get it. It’s a foreign concept to a lot of people and they are curious about the logistics, but it is just kind of a weird thing to be asked about. We’re pretty open about our process, but I can imagine the volume and frequency of donor questions is going to get old fast. Have others here experienced the same thing? How did you handle it?

Curious how many of you experienced spotting after having an FET?

We’ve done several FETs, the last one resulted in a CP, but have experienced spotting with none of them.

We are currently halfway through our TTW but have not really had any “symptoms” besides those from the progesterone - namely feeling extremely bloated, tender stomach, cramping for the first few days and breast tenderness.

I read around 40% of gestational carriers/transfer recipients experience spotting after an FET. But wondered how many of you folks have actually experienced that with a positive transfer. Probably just my anxious brain but the feeling that it hasn’t worked has got me diving into all corners of the internet for info and anecdotes.

My partner and I are looking for a known donor in the Chicagoland area. How would we go about searching for a potential donor? Are there community groups we can reach out to? News outlets we can post on? Or are there other ways we can reach out to our LGBTQ community about potentially donating? Thank you for any advice and kind thoughts 🩷

My wife and I have been trying for a baby since April this year (IUI). We’ve had 4 tries and we’re currently in our TWW on our 5th try. Our second try ended in an early miscarriage.

Now my friend and her girlfriend are started their journey, and had an IVF transfer the same week as our IUI, just 2 days apart.

I wish I didn’t feel like this but I can’t help but feel like I don’t want it to work for them, because it would just feel so unfair. I’m trying to be supportive and listen to her speak about what she thinks might be symptoms etc etc, but I just find myself thinking that I hope they’re not and they don’t get lucky on the first try.

Just needed somewhere to vent, I know IATA. Has anyone been in a similar situation?!

Wonder if anyone’s got any advice please with a difficult decision we need to make. Me and my partner already have a little girl who is 2 (my partner carried with her egg and donor sperm). We went to start the process last week at the clinic for me to carry the next baby as my partner can’t (I’m 33) and my AMH came back at 2.6, my mum had early menopause, my AFC was 9. The consultant said we could do max 3 unmedicated IUI’s as he doesn’t know how long I’ve got. But wondering should we just go straight to IVF to save time and money? But will my AMH affect how well I respond to IVF? I have regular periods, my scan showed I ovulated last month (confirmed with clear blue) and my lining on day 15 of my cycle was 11.8. Any help will be appreciated! Thank you

Let me preface this with the fact that my partner and I are very financially stable. It’s not that we don’t have the means to, it’s just that it’s a hard pill to swallow.

We want to go through a bank, but $1k+ per vial is just insane to us. We contemplated using a known donor, but lawyer fees and the risks involved with that are disturbing…

What are some of the best affordable sperm banks?? How are you and your partner navigating things?

Tldr: Can Internal Ultrasounds cause Spotting?

Can 4 Internal Ultrasounds in 7 days cause Spotting?

Context: I have had 4 Internal Ultrasounds in the last 7 days whilst we try to figure what the heck my cycle is up to this month (PCOS).

Today after the scan the clinician explained that November is a bust and we can't attempt. Next month we can - oh, wait, Christmas. Well, if you have your period before 6th Dec we can still try. Period isn't due until 14th Dec? Well, contact us anyway to check, but, probably January.

Went back to work. Time goes by. Went to loo.

...Spotting?

....I did say the other day some of my symptoms felt more like period than any description of ovulation I've read

(End context)

Can Internal Ultrasounds cause Spotting?

Can 4 Internal Ultrasounds in 7 days cause Spotting?

I was planning on origanlly doing a IUI at my clinic, but after they did all fertility and hormone testing and everything came back great I decided the better option would be a donor instead. It’s been 5 cycles of ttc and still nothing, I’ve tried everything. I have 26-27 day cycles never early or late. I’m very young!!! And we have been doing it for 5 cycles now and no luck, I’ve done it 1 time in fertile window as that’s all I’m able to get. I feel like I’m just stuck. the clinic doesn’t know I went this route so I don’t wanna call and voice my concern of 5 months (I know it takes people much longer) but when in a queer relationship it sometimes is the unknown of if that donor is going to stick with you or not even if it were to take time. part of me wishes ivf was a option as where I’m from it is not covered and is around 20-25k. the clinic told me that doing IUI was a 7% chance lol, and for 5k that’s insane to me so I didn’t want to do it cause of that. the only concern I have with my body is during my fertility testing they did a ultrasound and there was a 9cm cyst on my right ovary, then I had it checked about 2 weeks after cause I was in pain and they told me it shrunk to about 3-4cm. There for the clinic said seems good (they were only concerned if it stayed the same size or got bigger) but I’ve noticed I do sometimes have pain on that right ovary still, I asked the fertility specialist what kind of cyst this was?. And all she said was that it just happenes to some they come and go? I just feel so so hopeless sometimes in this journey and when will I be able to put this all behind me

I am looking for advice from other non-birthing parents who have induced lactation.

My wife is due to give birth to our child on Jan. 4, and she is unable to breast feed due to a preventative mastectomy. So, I (cis female) have been pumping to induce lactation since November 6. I have never given birth before and only had one chemical pregnancy in 2023 (multiple IUIs and FETs though).

I am doing this unmedicated overall but taking milk thistle supplements. I have pumped 8+ times per day consistently since the 19th and was doing 7 times per day before that. Each pumping session is about 18-20 minutes long with a massage in the middle.

As time has gone on, my results have increased with more consistent drops on my nipple appearing in most sessions. Over this last weekend (November 22, 23, and 24), I was starting to consistently get results. I’d have large drops of colostrum on each nipple after nearly every pulping session, and I even had a few times where a small amount (perhaps half a teaspoon) collected in the flange.

However, since Monday, my supply seems to have gone down. I am only seeing drops on one nipple occasionally, like once or twice per day. Nothing has changed in my pumping schedule except I missed my overnight pump on the night from the 23 into the 24.

Has anyone experienced this reduction in results during induced lactation? It’s really disheartening that I was starting to see progress and now my “supply” feels like it has reduced. What can I do to jumpstart back to where I was?

TW: loss

My wife and I were expecting last year. I was able to get pregnant after our second IUI with a mid-cycle follicle ultrasound, trigger shot and IUI 36 hours later. We were due November 2023 and lost our son, Kai Wilder, August 2023. At our anatomy scan, 20 weeks, my cervix was 3.1 and there were no concerns. At 23+2 I had lower back pain and blood. Went to the hospital and found out I was completely dilated and membrane was coming out. I had an emergency c-section and our son and my wife were sent to a hospital with a NICU via life flight. He lived 10 hours and fought so hard and passed away in my wife’s arms.

We are trying again and as of this morning my 5th IUI has failed. First 4 we did similar protocol as to how I got pregnant the first time. After the 4th failed, we finally did bloodwork (I had asked multiple times and our provider said she didn’t think it would show us anything) and my prolactin came back high (40 ng/mL). We canceled that cycle, put me on cabergoline and rechecked in a month. Prolactin came back down to normal (16 ng/mL). We decided to do a medicated cycle this time, my first medicated cycle. I took letrozole days 3-10 and had 2 large follicles ( 24.8 and 22), triggered in office and did the IUI ~29 hours later. I used 100 mg prometrium 2x a day starting 2 days after IUI.

We are at a loss as to why it isn’t working this time. My only thought is we need to do the IUI closer to 36 hours after trigger shot. My head starts to spin that maybe something is wrong bc I had an emergency c-section? We are planning on trying another medicated cycle and advocate for the IUI to be done closer to 36 hours. If this next one fails, I think we will transition to IVF in the new year.

I guess I’m here to ask for some advice, opinions and reassurance. TIA

Hi All — Starting TTC in January and want to understand timing for ICI and fresh semen if we’re planning to inseminate twice per cycle? I know donor should ejaculate every other day to maximize sperm so do we inseminate 2 days before ovulation and day of ovulation? I realize if we were only trying once per cycle we would do it on LH peak day but want to understand timing for two inseminations. Thanks for your help!

Tested out the trigger (faint positive 9DPIUI, 11DPT) and just tested about an hour ago and now I'm negative (11DPIUI, 13DPT). Yesterday I used the wrong kind of test (yes/no rather than a line one) and it said not pregnant as well.... but not sure how much to credit it given there was no line to detect slight elevations in hcg.

Thoughts? Am I out?

My wife and I are expecting our first baby boy in March!! She has always been the one that wanted to carry and she is carrying our first child. I have never been one to want to carry for pretty much my entire adult life and the last eight years that we have been together. But watching her go through pregnancy and how amazing it truly is I feel like my thoughts and previous conceptions of carrying have changed. I feel like I might want to carry our second child. Has anyone else gone through this same thing and had those same thoughts and feelings? And how did you navigate that change? All the love 🫶

Our first (and hopefully only) transfer is scheduled for Friday. Just saw our acupuncturist for the last time before transfer today. The days can’t pass fast enough! We are doing a natural cycle, but taking progesterone suppositories and they are making me so tired 🥱

Hi all - pretty much what the title says. Today I got my blood results for IUI #3 and my HCG levels were at 6mIU/mL. I have to go in on Wednesday to do an ultrasound and another blood draw, and my fertility doctor is very confident it will not result in pregnancy but we need to confirm it.

I know I’m grasping at straws, but is it at all possible for an HCG this low to result in pregnancy? I’m 16dpiui for context. I know the answer is likely no but I was really hopeful this round would be super positive. I’d have to be a super unusual case for a positive pregnancy to happen right?

Next step is IVF, and we’re already getting that process started before the end of the year. My doctor is confident enough that she thinks we’ll be able to do the IVF and FET before the end of the year. I just want this to work :(

edit: sorry, no FET just the IVF before the new year!

Hi!

I keep looking through old posts and scouring the Internet to find information and I’m worried I’m just doing at home insemination wrong

What I’ve been doing:

Lifting hips.

Using a lubricant syringe and a Mosie cup (it’s a nice cup) to capture the fresh semen.

Hanging around with my knees almost to my chest (strained my groin and can’t lift my legs).

I don’t just whip the syringe out. I take about fifteen second to get everything out.

Anyways, my question is…. Is it okay to just put the syringe in fairly deep? I honestly cannot tell where my cervix is without a hand down there and that would be way too many items.

I feel like I’m failing and wasting my time if I can’t find this little cervix.

I’m on my 3rd egg retrieval and every time I’ve had sore throat and stuffy nose during stims. Coincidence or side effect?! I’m on Gonal F, Menopur and Letrozole. So weird!!! Anyone else??

Hi all! I am 26, cis, living in Germany, first time TTC, 8DPIUI without trigger, just working with my natural cycle. I have been testing for the past 3 days just to soothe my brain and the "craving" to test - of course negative, as also expected. I will now try to wait a few days until it is more certain. I literally cannot focus on work, on the daily errands, when I can, I am just mostly browsing reddit, reading other TTC stories and pregnancy related things.

I have been cramping on-off from the day of the insemination, but today it has been stronger and in the morning I had a small amount of spotting - mostly pink, with a little darker red clot or spot. My brain is partially convincing me that this is IT, it is the implantation, partially telling me that it is a sign that it didn't stick. I am being treated with PTSD and general anxiety with medicine, but I find myself feeling worse since the IUI.

I feel mostly off, because even though if I would be pregnant on the first try, which would be a miracle, I feel hollowness, as last year I lost my mother, so I won't have the chance to share this experience with her. I won't be able to ask her anything from her or talk to her about her experiences. It is really difficult to deal with this time of uncertainty, with TTC and with parent loss.

This is mostly just a rant, I have an amazing partner who is supporting me through this, but I felt the need to at least try to connect with other queer carrying people who might feel the same.

I wish all the baby dust to you all who are on the same path ✨️🤍

Basically the title -- my wife and I have an amazing almost 4-year-old who's autistic, and while we've tried to talk about his (ID, sperm bank) donor before, it hasn't seemed to sink in. He goes to a specialist daycare for autistic kids and today one of his teachers pulled us aside and let us know that he overheard another kid ask "when am I going to see my daddy?" and our son then kept asking "when will I see MY daddy?" He was apparently pretty adamant -- the staff were saying "you have a mama and a baba!" which is what we tell him too, but he kept asking about his "daddy." He's incredibly perceptive and thoughtful, but doesn't always understand bigger concepts (like any kid his age obviously, but magnified).

hey TTC friends, what are your experiences or thoughts on continuing to try during the holidays? i am just about to get my period in the next couple of days after our 3rd unsuccessful cycle, and i really want to try again next month, but im worried that the end of my TWW will end up being right on or around christmas... on one hand it would be amazing to find out im positive, but if it doesnt take im worried i would be pretty upset. just so many high emotions this time of year!!

11 days post trigger, 9 days post IUI. is it too early to test? I was doing okay but now I’m struggling and have wanted to test since Friday (I had a single spot of blood when I wiped that day. Thought it would become more, but it hasn’t since) . I bought a 3 pack kit of first response early response tests. It says something like the first two can be taken earlier and the last one should be taken the day after your missed period.

I don’t want to find out via the blood test but I’m really not sure how early is so early it would be dumb to test.

I think we have mad the decisions to stop trying. Our RE said at this point they reccomend IVF something we will never be able to afford. Having a specialist break to us that IUI isn’t the best option for us anymore puts us in a position of need to accept we will never be parents, and I don’t know how to do that. I especially don’t know how to do that when so many of my friends and family are all pregnant right now and I feel so much animosity towards them and can’t stand to talk about their pregnancies and get all their updates when I’m facing that it will never be an option for me. I feel like an idiot for getting my hopes us. I feel like an idiot for thinking this could happen for us. I don’t know why is going to be more devastating - continuing to try with IUI against recommendation and continuing to get my heart broken, or just call it and begin healing. I feel like as long as we are trying, I’ll never be able to heal. I don’t know how to move on or Love forward and I’m just heartbroken. Sorry for the rant I hope some of this will make sense

My wife (29NB) and I (29F) have just started TTC. I'm 11dpiui but my cycles are short, and I'm pretty sure I've just started my period. Both the pain and the colour of the blood is a bit different to usual but there is clotting, which seems to be a real indicator that it didn't work. Considering testing to be sure but I'm not sure if that makes sense to do.

I know it's unlikely that it would work first time, but I am more upset than I anticipated I would be. Mainly because I've found this process quite a lot harder than I anticipated. I knew that I might have some trouble as a CSA survivor, and I thought I'd done all the planning and the reading to prepare but it's really been hard. I'm not used to so many people touching me, I'm not used to things being inserted inside me. It's bringing up things I thought I'd mostly worked through in therapy (I am also now looking to go back to therapy). At the IUI appointment they had to really coach me through the breathing because I was so tense I moved the speculum.

Anyone else who was in this boat, how did you deal with it? Did it get easier after the first cycle when you knew what to expect?

I did ICI at home Thursday & Friday. I got my peak on my ovulation strip Saturday. I rested this morning and it was low, so I’m assuming my peak is over and I’m not ovulating. Do I use the date of conception to track how many DPO or do I start counting today? I usually do IUI and would count the day I had it done, but unsure how it works for at home. Thanks in advance!!

We are questioning if our fertility clinic did IUI too early after trigger. I’m not sure how much experience they have with frozen sperm.

We triggered at 6:30pm and had IUI the next day at 11:15am. Everything we have read since says it should’ve been around 36 hours after the trigger.

What’s your experience with trigger timing? Any success with IUI 17 or so hours post trigger?

My wife (29F) and I (28F) tried at-home insemination first but it was successful. We did a year-worth of prep work (tracking ovulation, healthy eating, exercise), saving money and a pre-conception physical (no medical issues found) for her since she is carrying first. We knew that it was a very low chance of us getting pregnant on our first try but I've watched her get emotionally low every day for a week. She is a Type A personality and analyst so in her mind, if it didn't work then "a variable needs to change". Since we're using frozen sperm, she thinks the variable that needs to change is her (which I disagree with) or the way we did this in some type of way.

Her questions for at-home inseminators

- what types of vials did you use when you were successful?

- does traveling make a difference in ovulation cycle? (we live in Europe but traveled to the states to inseminate. 8 hour flight, 6 hour time difference)

- how soon after a failed attempt did you try again?

- what did you do differently between attempts if anything at all?

- what helped you cope with an unsuccessful attempt?

Had IUI almost exactly 7 days ago to the minute(trigger shot 9 days ago, progesterone for the last 6 days), and I just noticed I’m spotting slightly. What does that mean? I usually would not get my period until the second of the month, and I had just put in the progesterone suppository about two hours before I noticed the spotting. But it has not made me bleed before, so I don’t know what’s different. I am having mild cramps as well. I am wearing period panties due to the annoyance of the progesterone so although I think I would’ve noticed via wiping, I can’t be confident I was not spotting at any point in the last seven days - but to my knowledge I have not before now. Not gonna lie. I’ve been extremely stressed over the last 72 hours, so I’m hoping I didn’t do something srsly wrong…