Hi everyone this is my first post here! 🙂 Me and my partner are about to start our journey, I am going to carry. We have planned to use my best friends sperm, he is also queer.

We want to try doing turkey baster method first before we do the IUI/ICI method mainly because we want to save our money for treatments like IVF if it doesnt work.

My main question is has anyone who has done this know what STD precautions we should ask our donor to take before we use the sperm? Obviously we will ask him to do an STD test but I'm not sure exactly what the windows are for different diseases. My best friend definitely has a few partners and does contract things like chlamydia and gonorrhea. He is on prep so I am not worried about HIV.

To be clear I am not trying to stigmatise STDs or his sex life at all, I am just wondering where to get the right information so I can know what to ask of my friend in terms of the donation. I dont want him to feel like I am policing his life.

When I read threads on here people say going through the clinic is the safest way to do it, which is fine and maybe thats how it has to be but I am just trying to figure out if there is a way to do it without spending £500+ a pop for it each time.

If anyone has had similar experiences I'd love to hear from you!

** Edited to say oh no I mispelled donor in the title. I promise I am not talking about doner kebabs.

I had my first IUI 12 days ago and have been experiencing cramping and light spotting for the past two days. The spotting is brown and really minimal. I’m taking 400mg progesterone suppositories twice daily, and I’m starting to think this might be my period trying to come through, with the progesterone just delaying it. My clinic told me to keep taking it, but I’m wondering if it’s necessary, especially since I’ve been getting BFNs on cheap strip and Clearblue tests. Has anyone else been in a similar situation? Will my period eventually break through the progesterone?

Sorry gang for the lack of decorum. But fuck me sideways I need to poop so bad.

I’m a week into stims. 112.5 Gonal F since last Wednesday, Cetrotide daily since Monday. I’ve had a bad cold too so can’t be helping with everything, but jeez I’m bunged up. Are there any remedies that are safe during IVF treatment?

Partner and I will most likely begin rIVF end of next year. I recently got a 2nd remote job specifically to pay off debt quicker (will be paid off Feb) and to save for rIVF. Partner got a second job as well. We are looking at about 25k for the both of us for a total of 4 transfers including meds (not including sperm or travel to MX) If all goes to plan, we will have enough funds to begin the process end of next year. Since I am older, the initial plan was to freeze my eggs first however the clinic we will likely be working with advised to do retrieval and then go through the process of fertilizing the embryo and then transferring to my partner when were ready due to the cost. It would cost 9k to freeze eggs but 12k to do the whole procedure/process of rIVF. It was kind of a no brainer.

I wish I would have done this a year ago but here we are lol Is there anyone out there who did rIVF/IVF with no insurance coverage and kind of winged it and paid the cost as they went along/took loans/used up savings? Were there any limits?

Had my follicle scan today CD12 and I have two follicles, one on the right at 16.5 and one on the left at 15.9.

My endometrium is about 4.5 right now. Doc said they like it to be around 6+ for the IUI, but there is no good evidence that 6 is the magic number and women get pregnant with a thinner lining.

My endometrium pretty much always catches up by the time I ovulate naturally (to 8+). We’re triggering Friday night for IUI Sunday morning. Excited! Nervous!! This is our last IUI before IVF in February. Given past cycles, I’m expecting that it will be around 7 when we trigger and 8.5 on Sunday morning. Any similar stories?

My wife and I just had our 5th failed IUI (I’m the one trying to carry). Based on all the tests our fertility clinic had me do I was completely healthy with no concerns with trying to conceive (I’m also 25). Now after 5 failed IUI’s and a completely drained savings account I don’t know what to do. We’re moving in a few months so we decided before this last IUI that no matter what, we’re taking a break till we’re settled in our new home and can build our savings back up. My wife thinks a fresh start at a new clinic could help. We’ve had some issues with our current clinic. But I’m feeling so deflated. I never thought I would have any trouble trying to conceive. I’m so scared it’s never going to happen for us. I feel like we should just skip IUI all together at our new clinic and just go straight to IVF. The price is so scary but we’ve spend well over $10,000 over the last 8 months trying to conceive. I wanted to do the least invasive options possible. But I’m also scared even with IVF I still won’t get pregnant. I read all these amazing stories about people getting pregnant after one or just a couple IUI attempts. And I find myself so jealous of all the people around me getting pregnant and having babies. It’s starting to feel like it’s never going to happen for us. Should we just skip straight to IVF?

Is this possible, or is something off? I’m also not sure how reliable the thermometer is.

This is my second IUI, letrozole 2.5mg and trigger shot. I’m 32, cis female, with endometriosis. The IUI #1 I had mild cramping the entire TWW but it didn’t really hurt, no other symptoms, and I did not get pregnant.

Round 2 I’ve have no cramping till yesterday which was mild and only lasted like 30 minutes. All day today I’ve had painful, stabbing like cramps, along with pelvic and vaginal pain. No spotting. Is this a normal sort of symptom post IUI or should I call my doctor? I have very painful periods, but it isn’t due until Nov 7.

I think this is just my anxiety getting the best of me- but recently I've been feeling really conflicted about needing to use donor sperm to have a family. I think my wife and I have decided that we are going to ask our brothers first but we both feel like they're going to say no.. also I'm getting really nervous about asking him and it being super awkward / him not taking it well. If they say no, we might ask a friend who's gay but that also comes with potential issues because he might want to be more involved than we want him to be, he might be sad that he can't have his own biological kids/ not even sure if he would say yes to begin with.

And that could leave us with having to use donor sperm from a sperm bank.. which I don't personally see as unethical or anything but I'm just getting in my head about it and reading / watching content from DCP who say it is unethical.. and that makes me question if I should even have kids at all.

For those who have chosen to go the donor route.. what is it like? Do you feel anxious about what impacts it might have on your children? How have you explained it to them/ if they're older, have they voiced any concerns with it? Are there any of you that wish you decided to not go the sperm donor bank route? I have so many anxieties like what if the kids have tons of siblings, what if the sperm donor is a bad guy, what if there are medical things that come up, etc.

Hi all! I am on my medicated IUI round two (letrizole, trigger shot & 2 daily progesterone suppositories inserted vaginally).

My first insemination round, my premom app had my next predicted period starting 1-2 days after my official test day from (9/18). I am currently in the TWW with second round performed on 10/20.

Now I understand Premom app isn’t 100% accurate or anything, but as of today (10/29) it’s telling me I am one day late for a period. Did we inseminate too late? Did I ovulate early? My procedures were performed by nurses in a fertility clinic - and I was seen the two weeks prior for ultrasounds. Twice during the week we performed the insemination because I had 3, almost 4 mature follicles so they wanted to make sure the 4th didn’t mature further or else we would’ve skipped this cycle per doctor recommendations.

I am a little stressed out (but not too much to worry some my body) and just curious if anyone had any insight! Thanks in advance!!

EDIT: Incase it helps 😌 last period: 10/7 first baseline ultrasound: 10/9 second baseline ultrasound: 10/16 third baseline ultrasound (follicle maturity check): 10/18 trigger shot: 1230am of 10/19 Insemination: 10/20 at 12pm

Apologies in advance for the long post

We just had our second failed cycle in September and were planning to go for number 3 this month but for some reason I didn’t ovulate. 🤷🏻‍♀️ Clinic has said this is normal every now & then but my cycle has always been really regular until starting IUI.

I’m suspicious that I may have experienced a chemical pregnancy on our last cycle as I thought I could see a vvfl at 11dpo & my period was nearly a week late. I also had the worst period of my life with terrible cramping, heavy flow and large clots. Has anyone else missed ovulation after a chemical? Could this explain it?

I’m at a bit of a loss now as we planned to try again this coming month but I’m now debating whether it would be a waste as we only have 2 IUIs left. Should I let my body get back to somewhat normal first? Or just go for it?

Any advice/experiences would be very much appreciated!

Me (cis 30 f) and my husband (trans 35 m) are making our first steps towards TTC.

I have endometriosis though my doctor believes it's not affecting my potential fertility (laparoscopy done last year)

All of us know how expensive this process is and we've always known IVF is a strong possibility. We have a known donor (family member). He does not live near us.

I struggle with PMDD. If anyone here is or isn't familiar with it, it's an extreme sensitivity and reactivity to the natural hormonal fluctuations of a menstrual cycle. At its worst for me, it causes SI. Briefly and I can usually realize it is the PMDD talking. But even when it's not at its worst it's awful. Getting off birth control and getting my cycle again is going to be extremely challenging for me.

My question for y'all, should we consider starting with IVF? Completely skip IUIs, for the more expensive but potentially quicker IVF timeline? Do a more abbreviated timeline than maybe we would have with IUIs?

I will discuss this with my amazing doctor as well but if anyone's been in this spot and has some input, let me know.

I knew our chances were minimal and that 12dpo is still early, but I got a BFN on FRER tonight. I feel am so emotional and I don't even know if I should be hopeful this cycle.

IUI was unmedicated with the trigger shot, I have 2/3 criteria for PCOS so we don't want to do medicated. Wondering if we should even attempt IUI again or plan for IVF.

Anyone have a BFN at 12dpo or later that resulted in a positive? Trying to stay hopeful before my blood test at 14dpo

Well, as expected our 3rd IUI failed. Insurance only covered 3 rounds of IVF so since it will be out of pocket anyway we are going to IVF. 1 round will wipe our savings completely and still not cover everything. We are looking into getting a loan so we can at least have some savings for emergencies. Does anyone know of any grants or foundations that we can look into? We are in the United States. Or has anyone done different types of things to raise money? Events, selling items, fundraisers, etc.

Please do not tell me to get a second job or to find a job with better insurance. I just left the service industry and worked hard for the job I have now to gain experience for my resume. I do not want to work in the industry when I have kids unless I absolutely have to because I would be gone nights and weekends. The job I have now is also perfect while I am back in school online. I have applied to several places to work part time but will work there full time if needed. I just cannot get anyone to respond to my applications.

I'm curious how long its taken folks to freeze and ship known donor sperm? We're currently trying to work with Boston IVF and Fairfax cryobank, but running into sever roadblocks (entirely the fault of Boston IVF), and trying to figure out if this is typical, and whether there are any other options?

Hello,

To try and keep this short, my wife and I did (on me) 3 failed IUIs and are now at 3 failed IVF cycles where I was never able to make any embryos despite great response, great fertilization rates (~12 eggs per cycle), all labs in range. Doctor suspects a particularly bad case of endometriosis or a balanced translocation, either way something really rare and undetectable, but my eggs are apparently all crap. Either way, it seems like I won’t be able to have a biological child.

I am so excited about potentially carrying my wife’s embryo, but I’m also so sad for myself. I know a family isn’t made because of genetics, but that was something that I really cared about and something my wife wanted as well (a child with my genetics I mean).

I am also so scared that that baby isn’t going to love me. I’m scared they’ll tell me I’m not their mother because I know that would break my heart.

I have so many fears about this and I’m wondering if someone would be so kind to share their experience, good or bad.

TIA. 🤍

For families in Texas, are there any non-bio parents who were able to adopt their children WITHOUT a home study? House Bill 261, that was passed in 2023, states the home study can be waived in step-parent adoptions. If you are legally married to the bio parent, this is like a step parent adoption, right? (A lawyer I talked to said the petition to the court for 2nd parent adoption says "step parent-adoption" on it) Basically I don't want to shell out an extra $1,000 bucks for a home study if I don't have to, so I'm wondering if anyone has been being able to adopt without a home study under this bill (which I'm sure wasn't meant for us queers, but I want to take advantage of it!)

Hi,

I'm looking for a gender neutral app to track pregnancy in the UK. One that will tell me what fruit the baby is and stuff without misgendering me too much 😅 I've seen other people mention Clue, is that available in the UK?

We're also looking for a book in the vein of "what to expect when you're expecting" - only I've heard that book specifically is now considered outdated. But a book covering all the fun lil surprises I might not be aware of in pregnancy.

Had an appointment with Fertility Clinic today.

Next step is being matched to a donor! We've given them our wishlist and they'll email us some options to peruse. Then once we're matched, I need to call them on the first day of my next cycle, they do a scan of day 12 of the cycle, and depending on the results of that scan, if they like what they see, we MIGHT be able to give it a go in November!

Alternatively we might need to wait until December and have a medicated cycle.

They've told me to start eating (& drinking)(or not) as if I'm pregnant now, to get into the habit - avoiding caffeine, alcohol, oily fish, switching my vitamins to pregnancy Vitamins, taking folic acid, etc - so it feels very real and close now. We're almost started!!

It looks like my wife (30f) & I (28f) conceived during our 2nd IUI! We’re 14dpo today & have had one beta and are going tomorrow for our second. What was the process like for yall after testing positive? A while back, our doctor said they would want to see us for 2 ultrasounds before releasing to OB but we’re not sure when. Any advice appreciated! We’re excited but scared!

My wife and I (both 30, both cis women) plan to start TTC after the new year. I'll be the gestational parent for any and all pregnancies that occur. I'm having a scan this afternoon to check for uterine fibroids (I have awful periods) but am crossing my fingers for a good result. No known fertility issues in my family, so hoping for the best.

We're planning to go through a sperm bank (still nailing down which one we'll use) and plan to do our best with at-home insemination. If we try for a year with no success, I think we'll move on to IUI - but my insurance doesn't cover any fertility treatment, so hopefully it won't come to that!

Do any of you fine folks have tips and tricks / words of wisdom / products that worked for you / general encouragement for this process?

Hi all. I was wondering if anyone had a similar experience as me. I’m on my second medicated IUI (letrozole and ovidrel) and during this TWW I gained about 5-7 pounds. At first it felt like bloating, but now that I’m at the end of the TWW I cant tell if it’s water retention or what. Either way it’s very uncomfortable and is causing me a lot of back and hip pain.

I find out today (!!!!!!) if I’m actually pregnant, but this two week period has been brutal physically. I posted awhile ago about my continuous symptoms 7 days out from IUI - those symptoms did not stop at all and just kept adding up (we can now add breast and nipple pain, back pain, hip pain, and needing to pee constantly).

I’m hoping the weight gain means pregnancy, but I’m also stressed about what this means if it isn’t! My diet didn’t change so drastically that I could conceivably gain that much within two weeks. Did anyone else gain a lot during this period?

My wife and I are getting serious about starting our family and after a lot of research I think we want to go the iui route. We're hoping to start trying within the next 1-2 years, I know it's still a bit away but time goes so quick and I want to try and get all of our ducks in a row in the meantime. I'm looking for any advice about what you did to prepare, what the process is like, etc. anything at all would be so appreciated! :))

Hi all, I’ve decided to be a single parent and am in the beginning of my journey but looking to go forward with my first iui attempt at the beginning of November. Although I’ve been taking prenatals, ovulation tests/tracking and have chosen a donor through cryos international there’s still so much I don’t know. I’m trying not to get my hopes up about my first attempt but would appreciate any advice. Also any insight onto cryos/donor Arlington.

Hello! It’s been a journey for us, we have done 3 rounds of IUI and go BFN every time. We talked with the doctor and was in the process of discussing IVF when… our office announced they are CLOSING! We struggled with what to do next, there’s not an office in our town that accepts same sex couples (roll tide) and we weren’t sure which office we wanted to travel far too. After talking with a few people we decided to give ICI a try. We found a known donor, spoke with him for months to make sure we were on the same page, had an agreement notarized, and met this weekend for the first time. My ovulation tests were getting darker and darker the closer the weekend came. We did our first insemination Friday and our second about 16 hours later Saturday morning. Long story short… I took another ovulation test and just got my peak. I know sperm can live up to 4-5 days, but did I do it too early doing it the day before?? In my head I know I have a 24 hour window, so if I did it twice a day before that window, and sperm can live days.. but I’m worried that’s not really how it works. I know it happens with natural conception, but I’m stressing myself out.

Hi guys! Me and my partner are from the UK and hoping to start our family soon with me carrying our baby. As AFABs, we'll likely be going down the IVF or IUI routes. I've tried my best to do a lot of independent research on the process, but I'm overwhelmed! I'm autistic and basically need every step broken down without much jargon.

Would anyone be able to talk me through the process of IUI/IVF, how much it costs and what is actually necessary (in the UK)? I know it's a big ask, so thank you so much in advance!

Hi everyone,

I have a short luteal phase of around 10 days, and I almost always get my period on 10 or 11 DPO. This cycle, I inseminated with fresh donor sperm on my ovulation day and the day of my LH peak. To support my luteal phase, I started using progesterone cream, applying it twice daily.

Yesterday, at 11 DPO, I was almost certain I was out because I noticed some mild spotting. Normally, I see pink discharge right before my period, but it usually progresses quickly. This time, it’s only been tiny, occasional streaks streaks.

I’ve had a few instances of very light, barely noticeable pink spotting when wiping. With many hours of nothing in between. I’m unsure if this is implantation bleeding, if my period is just late, or if the progesterone cream has successfully lengthened my luteal phase. I’m feeling pretty confused and a bit stressed.

Has anyone experienced something similar? I really want to test, but I’m worried about being disappointed by a negative result or by my period starting right after. I do plan to test early tomorrow morning on 13dpo. Does anyone here have experience with a short luteal phase, using progesterone cream, or this kind of uncertainty around light spotting while being overdue?

Thanks in advance for reading and for any responses. It really helps to know I’m not alone in this.

TW: loss

I just had a miscarriage at 7 weeks. I got pregnant on my first IUI, which was shocking! I went into the whole process convinced it wouldn’t work for a while. My guard was way up. After the positive test, it was still up. Blood tests looked appropriate, and finally my first ultrasound arrived. I went into firmly believing (to guard my heart) it wouldn’t be viable. But then it measured appropriately and had a heartbeat! My guard came down a lot, despite it being so early. I felt like I could breathe a sigh of relief.

Tuesday, I went in for another ultrasound and it had stopped growing a day or two after the first ultrasound. No heartbeat. I felt a wave of horror wash over me. I felt silly for being excited before. Because I’m on progesterone, my body didn’t miscarry on its own. I had to use medication to assist me with the process and it was incredibly miserable and painful. It was a nightmare. It’s still happening, but the pain is much better. There have been lots of tears. I know miscarriages this early are a blessing in disguise because nature is doing what it’s supposed to do with a fetus that is not compatible with life. But it still sucks because I let guard down. I’ll try again, but I just needed to let some emotions out. I’m not really looking for anything, but I know many of you can unfortunately relate.

I had blood draw today to confirm low progesterone to start letrozole. However, my progesterone came back at 3.6 and they said it was too high. Has anyone had high progesterone on CD1? Is this normal? Thank you!

my spouse and i are using a known donor who lives on the other side of the country. last month our donor took a flight and they stayed with us while supplying donations for a few days over my fertile window. i got my period last night (Oct 24) so naturally, i’m already thinking about what’s next. we used ovry’s OPK and attempted 4 times over 4 days.

my cycle is about 29 days long. any suggestions for the next best time to try? this time i’ll be flying to them. thank you!

Our potential known donor emailed us back this morning to say he's open to a discussion. Eek! We emailed a few days ago asking if he'd be interested, and if so we could have a more in depth conversation. I really don't want to miss anything we should be discussing, so if you have any things you discussed with yours which was helpful, things you wish you'd discussed with yours before, or even things you wish you'd been able to ask for those who are using an unknown donor, I'd really appreciate the input! We have to have implications counselling at the clinic before going ahead anyway, but ideally I want us all to be on the same page before that.

So far my list is just:

• Treatment (ivf through a clinic, which in the UK as my wife and I are married would automatically mean he has no parental rights or responsibilities, legal or financial)
• Expectations around contact / how he's viewed (family friend) and what he's called ('our friend Bob, your donor' unless the kid wants to call him otherwise as they age)