/r/TryingForABaby

Photograph via snooOG

This group is for anyone trying for a baby! Come discuss fertility, sex, conception, and learn all about how your body works!

Our Rules

Please click here to read our complete list of rules!

  • Users must be over the age of 18. No exceptions.

  • Posting a positive test result (BFP)? Our weekly BFP post is stickied on the main page of /r/TryingForABaby! No posts or comments about positive pregnancy tests are permitted outside the weekly post.

  • This group is for anyone trying to get pregnant and to ask/give advice on getting pregnant. Be supportive!

  • Report posts or comments that show suspicious or disrespectful behavior. Reports to the moderators are anonymous, and help keep the environment of the subreddit safe and supportive.

  • This subreddit contains scores of posts with detailed descriptions about completely natural bodily processes (of all people) on the topic of getting pregnant. When discussing fertility there is NO SUCH THING AS TMI!* (*exception; photos of your bodily fluids, that is too much)

Using Content Warning (CW) Flair

Consider using a content warning when discussing topics users may find triggering such as pregnancy, infant loss, previous pregnancies, children, etc. While NOT required, it is encouraged.

You may use any of the following formats:

>! your comment here !<
[ your comment here ](/content)
[ your comment here ](#content)
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Please be considerate about the words that you say and the way they are said and keep in mind that using CW flair does not override the rules.

Our Sub Links and Wiki

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Helpful Acronyms!

(Acronyms are not mandatory, but are useful to know, and do help to shorten your own posts / replies)

A more extensive list is available here.

Acronym Term
AF Aunt Flow (your period)
BBT basal body temperature
BCP birth control pills
BD baby dance (sex)
BFP/BFN big fat positive / big fat negative (pregnancy test)
CD cycle day
CM cervical mucus
CP chemical pregnancy (an early miscarriage)
DevBio /u/DevelopmentalBiology - moderator extraordinaire and resident expert in developmental biology
DPO (cycle) day post ovulation
EOD every other day
EP ectopic pregnancy
EWCM eggwhite CM (the fertile stuff!)
FF FertilityFriend.com (popular website for temping/charting)
FMU first morning urine
FW fertile window/fertile week
FP follicular phase
FRER First Response Early Result pregnancy test
HBC hormonal birth control
HCG human chorionic gonadotropin (what's measured on an HPT)
HPT Home pregnancy test
HSG Hysterosalpingogram
IUI Intrauterine insemination
IVF In vitro fertilisation
LH luteinizing hormone (what's measured by an OPK)
LP luteal phase
MC miscarriage
MMC missed miscarriage
NTNP not trying, not preventing
O ovulation
O-1 O minus one; one day before ovulation (also O-2, O-3, etc.)
OPK ovulation predictor kit
POAS pee on a stick
PCOS Polycystic ovarian syndrome
RE Reproductive endocrinologist
SA semen analysis
SMEP Sperm Meets Egg Plan
TCOYF Taking Charge of Your Fertility (informative book by Toni Weschler)
TI timed intercourse
TTC trying to conceive
TW trigger warning (precedes a post/statement which may be triggering to some users)
TWW two-week wait (post-ovulation, pre-pregnancy test)
WTT waiting to try (for those pre-TTC)
WTO waiting to ovulate

Related Subreddits

TTC-related:

/r/TFABLinePorn

/r/TFABChartStalkers

/r/amipregnant

/r/waiting_to_try

/r/stilltrying

/r/infertility

/r/tryingforanother

/r/secondaryinfertility

/r/TTC30

/r/TTC40

/r/TTC_PCOS

/r/queerception

/r/ttchealthy

/r/whatworkedforme

Pregnancy-related:

/r/TFABGrads

/r/CautiousBB

/r/BabyBumps

/r/InfertilityBabies

/r/BB30

Pregnancy loss/support:

/r/ttcafterloss

/r/Miscarriage

/r/babyloss

For partners:

/r/TFABPartners

/r/predaddit

/r/maleinfertility

/r/daddit

Post-pregnancy:

/r/breastfeeding

/r/CsectionCentral

/r/beyondthebump

/r/beyondbaby

/r/NICUParents

/r/Queerfamilies

/r/moderatelygranolamoms

Sarcasm and humor:

/r/shittyfertilityadvice

/r/trollingforababy

/r/trollingafterloss

/r/hCGifs

/r/trollbabies

/r/TryingForABaby

141,935 Subscribers

3

Low progesterone?

Hello 👋

I'm wondering if anyone can offer any advice. I'm 35 and 10months in to TTC.

I conceived in June had an early loss at 5 weeks.

I ovulate every month around CD17 (clear LH strips and confirmed by BBT) and start to spot about 10/11 DPO then get an approx 2 day bleed on CD30. The blood starts light and pink then changes to a bright red. I usually get some clotting too.

I get very bad breast tenderness in the days leading up to my bleed and very mild cramps.

I occasionally get headaches and have a few nights of poor sleep each month.

From my reading I'm wondering if I have low progesterone? It was last tested in Feb and came back 'normal' (NHS).

I have a GP appt next month and and want to go in ready to ask for what I need.

I am also working with an acupuncturist who I adore.

Taking high quality supplement (Wild Nutrition) and am a pesceatarian. In terms of lifestyle I think I could stand to eat more food and I need to work on stree management as I have an extremely busy and high stress job.

Advice and support desperately needed.

1 Comment
2024/10/27
05:15 UTC

5

Doctor offered me Letrozole after my clomid cycle. IDK which one to choose.

So I have irregular cycles. I get my period every 2-3 months. When I started TTC I bought some LH strips and it showed that on some months I did peak and others I didn’t. And on some months I did “peak” but my BBT never increased. Therefore I spoke to my OB about it and he prescribed me Clomid 50 mg. I took it this past cycle (3-7) when I got my period and I peaked on CD 14! And after that my BBT increased. I was excited but unfortunately it was a BFN🙄. I got my period on CD 29. I had an appointment with my OB yesterday and he offered me Letrozole 5mg from CD 5-9. He said the conceiving rate is higher. He also put me on metformin and methyzlprogesterone from CD 16 until I get either my positive/period. Idk if I should take Clomid since it did help me ovulate or Letrozole since I heard the side effects weren’t that badPlease give me your advice. 🙂‍↕️

5 Comments
2024/10/27
00:05 UTC

1

Spotting and clots during ovulation (a bit tmi)

Hey guys I'm hoping you can help me out a bit my hubby (30) and I (30) have been trying for a baby a little over a year and have had three early losses. Because of this we've just started seeing the fertility clinic about our issues and so far I've had pcos and fibroid completely ruled out the doctors say I have a physically healthy reproductive system so the next step is checking fertility levels and genetic conditions.

According to my callender I am to ovulate tomorrow (35 day cycle) but yesterday I felt the twinges on my left side and I only ever feel ovulation from my left so figured my callender was a little off as we all know it can be with ovulation. This evening I went to the bathroom and noticed a lot of pink when I wiped which really freaked me out as I've never had ovulation bleeding before. Since all the websites say it's normal and a good sign of fertility I figured it's just from all the supliments and extra sex I'm having helping me prepare but then about an hour later there were a few tiny clots one very dark almost black like tiny balls all attached to each other and the other like the clear papery stuff inside an egg shell.

My temp is up 0.4C, fingers are too swollen for my rings, breasts are enormous even for ovulation but not sensitive and I'm having horrible acne which I rarely get even during menstruation.

As for this being a period I only came off one two weeks ago and always had the same cycle since 14yo except when having the losses. Cycle goes: spot the day before then bleed then clot the third day never have clots the very first day.

Question is does anyone else have clots during ovulation or are my hormones going haywire from all this trying?

5 Comments
2024/10/26
20:57 UTC

10

Balancing TTC with other life activities / goals that aren’t super compatible with TTC

Me (37f) and my partner (43m) started trying for the first time in May-ish. I tried strips for a little while but they all looked the same color to me and I gave up on them pretty quick. Also found it confusing and logistically hard to coordinate peeing on them at the right time consistently when I wasn’t too hydrated.

Did some basal body temp monitoring too which was more helpful but have fallen out of practice because of my work schedule and have been meaning to start again.

I’ve mostly been just tracking my periods in my apple health app and just having sex at least every other day for the entire fertility window it predicts which is about 6 days long.

Just got my period so I guess we are up to cycle 6 or so, and have booked in for testing later in the year.

I’ve noticed myself start to respond more emotionally to getting my period as the months have passed, and am honestly feeling very torn between upping the ante on my tracking (getting a better app, being consistent with BBT etc) and also just letting go a bit and doing the minimum so I don’t feel the disappointment of over investing and making my day to day life so centered on getting pregnant.

Before starting TTC I was also doing endurance sports training and losing some extra weight I’ve always carried, and I’d like to keep doing that but also know it’s not great to put extra stress and calorie deficit on to your body if you’re TTC. I also love to do hot and cold plunge after my training sessions as a physical and mental health thing - but also have had to avoid this when there’s a chance I’m pregnant. I’ve also hesitated to push forward in my role at work toward promotion or apply for other jobs because getting pregnant at the same time would make that super stressful. Which makes me annoyed at the opportunity cost of TTC.

Just feels like I’m putting off life for something that I can’t guarantee will happen, but also the time is ticking for both of us given our age. I don’t feel devastated yet or anything - we’re still fairly early, but I am struggling to balance embracing life stuff that isn’t super compatible with TTC and also actively putting energy into TTC. Im in endurance sport groups where women get pregnant while training and even do races while pregnant, which id love to do - but I just feel like it’s not worth reducing my chances of conceiving. I could just stick to doing more relaxing exercise but part of what I love is the endorphin rush of pushing my body.

Anyone else? Any tips?

37 Comments
2024/10/26
17:10 UTC

1

Lynestrenol after heavy menstruation but also TTC - slightly long post

TW mentions of MMC - Long time lurker, never posted but Im literally driving myself insane and have no idea where to turn, my doctor is suggesting I just keep an eye on my body but the anxiety is big :(. Been ttc with my husband for the last 2 years, had a mmc at 9 weeks last October and this August experienced symptoms of extreme heavy blood flow during a period. We are talking every hour an incontience pad full, during this time i was giving a dose of lynestrenol for 9 days, i enquired as to whether this would massively mess up my cycle as we were ttc. Was informed it shouldnt have influence and it was the safest option, well after day 9 i woke up to a bloodbath in bed, again. Was giving blood clotters and luckily it stopped. Talking timelines here I started my symptoms on the 5th of August, started hormones the 13th of August as it only bled heavier not lighter, finished on the 22nd of August and immediately started bleeding again on the 23rd, luckily it stopped after the blood clotting medicine on the 2nd. On the 12th I started to bleed spontaneously but that lasted until the 15th, and since I have not had a period. I've not been keeping track of my ovulation as my whole rhythm was in the creek, me and my husband have been intimate multiple times from around the 22nd until now, has anyone had experience in this regard? I did a test today and it was negative, could it possibly be due to the hormones that im now 40+days with no period? I have had the occasional aches and pain, since my mmc my body alao likes to mimic nausea and tiredness around my period that I never had before, which makes it that much harder to notice changes. Im just so drained and tired of being on hyper alert all the time, a theme that you see a lot on here :( thank you guys for letting me blow off a little steam too

1 Comment
2024/10/26
14:49 UTC

48

Husband wants to keep trying, but I’m over it.

Anyone else going through this? This past cycle I was monitored by our fertility clinic, they found when I was about to ovulate and told us when to have inter course. I even took mucinex this cycle, we’ve had all the bloodwork and tests, we are both completely fertile, yet it’s been two years of trying and we only have a miscarriage to show for it.

My husband still has hope and wants a baby with me, I’d love a baby with him too, but emotionally I’m so over it. Im definitely starting to believe it is not meant for us and im starting to just accept it. We also have a great life and two wonderful dogs and I’m starting to realize a baby would ruin all of it anyway, so why stress over it and continue to hurt our feelings every month? I’ve told him how I feel and he said he understands and at the end of the day it doesn’t matter if we have kids or not, he just wants to be happy with me. But I feel bad, I just can’t help but feel it’s not meant for us and who am I to question the universe and go against its plans?

31 Comments
2024/10/26
14:21 UTC

4

Wondering Weekend

That question you've been wanting to ask, but just didn't want to feel silly. Now's your chance! No question is too big or too small. This thread will be checked all weekend, so feel free to chime in on Saturday or Sunday!

46 Comments
2024/10/26
10:00 UTC

4

General Chat October 26

Anything, within the rules, goes.

Don't forget to check out our themed threads! If the links below don't take you to the most recent thread, check back in a couple of hours.

Moody Monday, Temping Tuesday, Giveaway Tuesday, Waiting Wednesday, Wondering Wednesday, Trying Again Thursday, Thankful Thursday, Health and Wellness Thursday, Looking Forward Friday, Wondering Weekend, 35 and Ova, COVID-19 Discussion.

There's also the Weekly Introductions and Read Me Thread, which contains links to all sorts of handy bits of info, like popular wiki posts and acronyms.

61 Comments
2024/10/26
08:00 UTC

1

Help! When did I actually ovulate?

Hi all, I need some help determining how many days post ovulation I am please. My husband (M33) and I (f31) are pretty new to the TTC community. We're on cycle four of trying and this month was the first time I used the clear blue ovulation tests.

Typically my cycles are 26 / 27 days long, however the odd time can be as short as 24 days. This month I got my first smiley face on CD10. Currently I am CD 20. Does this mean I am 10 days post ovulation? Or did I actually only ovulate on CD 11?

Sorry if this is the most basic question, I just feel like I'm going mad and we've only been at this for a few months!! I've been testing for 3 days already which I know is far too early but seeing so many different tests on here that are positive at 9 or 10 days makes me hopeful.

15 Comments
2024/10/26
07:12 UTC

85

I am two different people before and after ovulation. Same, and insane.

For the first half of my cycle (leading up to ovulation), I feel like a completely normal human being. I’m focused on my work, my hobbies, friends and family. I feel content, happy, or at least normal.

Contrasted with the back half of my cycle (after ovulation) where I become a completely insane and almost unrecognizable person. It begins with me “just having a feel” being CERTAIN that I am DEFINITELY pregnant. Soon I am taking a pregnancy test every day (too soon), sometimes twice a day if I’m “really sure”. I start experiencing phantom symptoms, I’m spending every night on Reddit re-reading the posts about people’s first symptom before the BFP. Last cycle I found myself sobbing multiple times IN PUBLIC, once it became clear I was probably not pregnant. And reader, let me tell you: I am not usually a cryer. I was crying so much I re-convinced myself I must actually be pregnant because surely being this emotional must be a symptom??? I hate to come to terms with no, I am not hormonal, I am actually just very sad about it.

Anyway! Haha it’s a rollercoaster. Just wondering if anyone else is experiencing this 50/50 split in their cycle. On the outside I’m sure no one else is seeing it, but it’s like on the inside I’m two completely different people.

33 Comments
2024/10/26
06:29 UTC

0

Has anyone experienced a isthmocele?

So my husband and I have been trying to conceive for about 6 months now. I realize that’s not a very long time, but I’m starting to worry a little bit now because I was able to conceive my first two children on my very first cycle, no problems or complications, no miscarriages, but both were born via c section.

Now, my last c section I had a little bit of a harder recovery and my c section incision came open a few times. Had to go back to my OBGYN and he would clean and patch it, and after the first 4 weeks or so it seemed to heal like normal with no problems. But it did come open a few times the first few weeks post surgery.

Could that possibly lead to a isthmocele, therefore maybe being a reason I’m struggling to get pregnant again? Or is my incision coming open not related? Curious if any of you have gone through that and what symptoms you had/your experience.

2 Comments
2024/10/26
06:21 UTC

2

Venting

How do you all handle people constantly asking and making assumptions about ttc?

Yesterday I was at an event with some family friends and family. This guy came up and was asking how I was doing and kept pressing me about if I had any news to share.

And I’m like, ugh here we go again.

Then he had the audacity to RUB MY FLAT STOMACH and tell a (v nosey) family member that walked up, ” Oh didn’t she tell you that she’s four months pregnant??”

I was…shocked to say the least. And my first thought was, “wouldn’t that be nice?”

I think he was trying to be funny, but it hurt. I tried to laugh it off and tell them no I’m not pregnant, and it bothered me MORE when they were like, “oh if you are you can tell us”

Like…ugh.

My husband and I (29m & 27f) have been trying for seven cycles, which I guess isn’t a lot in the grand scheme of things. I got off birth control in January, and it’s been a big mental adjustment to realizing this won’t happen as fast as I originally thought. I grew up Catholic and was told getting pregnant was SO easy, which as we all know, it’s not. And I like being good at things, so there’s that lol.

But anyways, after this that family member started pushing me for information and started giving advice about timing and taking Mucinex. Which I then responded with, “Well I tried that for two months and it didn’t work.”

She seemed to back down a bit, but she still wanted to keep talking about it. And we’re still at an event with LOTS of people around, so I was trying to rush it along and escape.

Part of me I wanted to say more, but I don’t want to offend people, but maybe I should? I’ve been feeling pretty off since this incident, and I’d like to hear how others handle these situations.

It’s not that I don’t want to talk about ttc, I just hate the assumptions and that some people are so comfortable discussing the contents (or lack there of) of my uterus.

And btw, this community has been so helpful normalizing ttc. Thank you all.

8 Comments
2024/10/26
06:15 UTC

0

Feeling sad… Zika risk delays

We went through a miscarriage back in June, I’d put a hypothetical timeline that we’d start trying again after our holiday (flying on Tuesday)

The timeline of the holiday was picked to reduce cattery trips for our cat, the location was picked to avoid malaria and Zika risk and do something fun. (Originally we were planning an Iceland trip for September when 5months pregnant so I needed the opposite of this).

I just looked on NHS guidance (last minute random browse as I’m fully vaccinated against most things from prior trips) and it says at the bottom that Thailand has Zika transmissions. It’s very low but it’s there. I’m sure I looked at this, we avoided South America specifically.

For gods sake! I know given our anxiety already about another pregnancy I can’t take that tiny risk of trying and having potential congenital Zika effects.

1 in 5 people with Zika are asymptomatic and there’s no test I can do when I get back. So now it’s end of February that is my first possible trying time and I’m just… frustrated because I would’ve gone somewhere else or at a different time.

I really need this holiday

6 Comments
2024/10/26
04:57 UTC

13

Where Do You Even Begin?

My husband (35M) and I (35F) just started trying for a baby this summer.

I feel so overwhelmed to even know where to start… I started taking CoQ10 and Prenatal supplements and I have always tracked my periods… But I feel like I don’t know anything beyond “have sex every other day after your period ends until you get pregnant”…

I guess I just feel like I should know when I’m ovulating and how to time everything, but I honestly have no clue. I’m so stressed that I won’t be able to get pregnant because I just don’t seem to have it all together like most women do? I feel like we may have waited too long and I’m so worried it just won’t happen. It’s been about 4 months of trying. I’m trying to get an appointment with a GP doctor to begin fertility testing.

I guess just… Where do you start? Every month my period starts since we started trying I’m so sad and disappointed. I guess I’m just overwhelmed and hoping someone can give some guidance as to what I should be doing to make sure we are having sex in the right window, etc. Do you all take your temp to track ovulation? I ordered a thermometer to start trying that… I’m just lost lol

36 Comments
2024/10/26
03:36 UTC

2

Female factor infertility

This may be more of a vent session than it is seeking advice but I’m open to any thing y’all might have to give me! I (28f) and my husband (30m) have been trying to conceive for about a year. I had an accidental pregnancy in college in 2019 that ended in a missed miscarriage at 10 weeks (the fetus had stopped growing at 8wks and there was no sign of cardiac activity. I chose to take the pills instead of have a D&C and bled for almost 3 months, doing two rounds of meds to fully lose the pregnancy. It was the week before Christmas, it was a nightmare.) My husband also has a rare pulmonary condition and his medication can cause infertility. We got his sperm tested this past March and shockingly got wonderful results, with his numbers coming in at significantly above average. I, however, found out last month that I have a diminished ovarian reserve, with AMH levels at .73 and yesterday also found out via saline ultrasound that I have uterine polyps that will need to be removed via hysteroscopy. I’m also on levothyroxine for elevated TSH and seeing a fertility specialist who, after the polypectomy, suggests we begin medicated cycles and then IUIs if those fail. So I guess all that to say - I’m scared. I’m scared of the hysteroscopy (I will be under general anesthesia but don’t believe I’ll receive any pain medication, if you’ve had one before did they give you meds to go home with? I’m almost scared to ask my doc bc I don’t want to be accused of drug seeking or being weak). I’m also scared I’ll never conceive again. I’m scared I’ll never be able to give my husband a child or have the family we both dream of. And the worst part is there’s nothing I can do to change it all. I don’t want IUIs or to do IVF but I’ll endure them if I have to. I don’t want it to hurt to have a child (minus delivery, obviously). But I guess I’m just grieving the loss of living this part of my life in private, with my husband, of doing things the way we wanted to. I’m so grateful for modern medicine and scientific advancement that allows people like me to have a shot. But that doesn’t make the sting of needing those services any less. I have understanding friends and family but none of them have had to deal with anything like this before, so they can only understand what I’m going through to a certain extent. This is all still so new to me and I feel lost. My husband is super supportive but TTC and infertility isn’t consuming him the way it is me right now. I feel like it’s all I can think about and google and talk about. Does this ever get easier? Is there anything you do or did that made the grief and the, for lack of a better word, obsession any lighter?

4 Comments
2024/10/26
03:33 UTC

5

Delayed cycles when trying?

I’m curious if anyone else has experienced delayed periods specifically when trying to conceive? I have tracked my cycle consistently for years and it is at most 34 days, usually 30/31; the only times I have thought I might be pregnant (three in total) my cycles have been 36-40 days long. It seems like somehow the thinking/wondering during the waiting period is seriously stressing my body out? Has anyone else experienced this? I have tested three times and they’re all negative.

My partner and I (28 & 26, respectively) are only technically in our second cycle of really trying, so part of me wonders if I should just quit worrying at all for the first year and see if it happens. But knowing now that there’s really only a small window for sperm to meet egg… that kinda feels like a waste :(

17 Comments
2024/10/26
02:27 UTC

9

Just need to vent

My husband (28M) and I (27F) have been trying to conceive for 9 cycles now with no luck. We have chosen not to share with any family and friends yet that we’ve been trying, so it’s been nice to have this page to turn to to feel less alone in this. My husband is incredible and so supportive, but I don’t think he realizes just how much TTC consumes my every thought - between OPKs, cycle tracking, prenatals, avoiding alcohol, symptom spotting, and the emotional rollercoaster of the TWW, it is just so emotionally exhausting. I feel silly sometimes for just how devastated I feel month after month of negative pregnancy tests.

A little background.. I started tracking my periods long before TTC and have very regular periods. No known health concerns and healthy weight. I have consistently caught my LH peak right around when predicted each month and we usually BD anywhere from 5-10 times leading up to ovulation/day of ovulation/1-2 days after ovulation.

After month 6 I went to my doctor and had some blood work and pelvic ultrasound ordered. Also a SA for my husband. My bloodwork showed slightly high TSH and normal free T4. No concerns on the ultrasound. My doctor is hesitant to start me on any thyroid medications since it is only slightly out of range and I have no symptoms. My husband’s SA looked normal aside from slightly low sperm count. I’m actually slightly relieved that a few potential problems were detected so we have something to work on, but now I’m just so eager to get started with any necessary treatments/medications. We have a referral in for a fertility clinic but it will still be a few months before our first consultation.

Just looking for a place to vent about this frustrating process, I guess. I can’t help but feel like my body is failing me when I want so desperately to be a mom and to make my husband a dad. Thanks for listening and thanks in advance for any advice if any of this resonated with you🫶🏼

18 Comments
2024/10/26
02:09 UTC

17

Struggling to talk about this in real life

I'm on cycle 8 of TTC and having such a hard time with how to talk about this with people in my life even though it's consuming my day to day. I'm very close with my mom and she knows everything going on, but she got pregnant with me on her first try. The last few months she's seemed pretty upset when I tell her any updates...she's a very even keeled person and I hate feeling like she's upset even though I know she's empathizing with me. I also have a lot hung up on this because I moved across the country two years ago and she always said she would move to our city when we have a baby 😭

My friends in my new city are all from work and single, so I don't feel comfortable talking with them. My oldest friend got pregnant on her first try and is generally delusional so I don't want to talk with her. I told her when we started TTC and she's never asked how it's going since then, so she must know it hasn't happened.

I feel so isolated. Reading stories on here is helpful but also sends me spiraling so I try to limit my time online. I hate that I'm saying this out loud but I'm overweight and I feel like if I talk about fertility issues, my friends are going to be blaming it on my weight in their heads. (Some background stuff here from high school friendships and beyond but it's hard for me to get past that)

Not sure what I'm asking for here but I guess any experience with how to talk about fertility struggles would be appreciated.

22 Comments
2024/10/26
01:21 UTC

96

Positive for Chlamydia, Husband is Negative

Trying to conceive for two years now (so obviously lots of unprotected sex). Our clinic does a full panel blood and urine test annually. Last year everything was good (both negative for all STDs).

Last week we had the same annual tests, and I just received a call from my RE that I tested positive for chlamydia. He also revealed on the phone to us that my husband is negative.

I am so embarrassed and upset by this news. How is it possible for me to be positive and my husband to be negative if we are having unprotected sex? How is it possible for me to be positive at all if I was negative a year ago and have only slept with my husband?

I did not cheat on my husband, and am humiliated at the optics of this even just within our fertility clinic. This has been such a long and emotional journey and this just seems to be the icing on the cake.

Any advice on how this could happen or similar situations and outcomes would be much appreciated.

75 Comments
2024/10/25
22:48 UTC

9

Failed HSG and Saline sonogram

I went in for my HSG and saline sonogram today and the doctor kept saying that my cervix was different (no idea what that means but I’m officially freaked out). He tried for 15 minutes but said every time he got near my cervix, it went the other way and there would be no way to get the catheter in without using a device to hold my cervix in place. They made me leave (mind you…I took a half day from work and drove 1.5 hours for this) and told me I have to go back next week to have this done under anesthesia. I’m so scared that this means something bad and I’m so disappointed in my body for not cooperating. I think I traumatized my poor husband because I came out of the room, tapped him on the shoulder and ran out of the clinic…I just couldn’t bear crying in front of everyone. Has this happened to anyone else?

9 Comments
2024/10/25
21:17 UTC

53

Doubting

I love this r/TryingForABaby community. While a lot of your stories are heartbreaking and so familiar, we’re all desperately striving for the same thing with our whole heart.

Every once in a while (today is one of those days) I see a random reddit thread complaining about how hard children are or the difficulties of parenting. Someone just posted on r/AskReddit asking how much of your free time you lose with kids and the replies were… so disheartening.

Does anyone here ever slip…? Start to wonder “Do I really want this?” I feel like it’s the ultimate betrayal to my whole TTC process. I feel like a traitor. Because I DO want this. But the negatives are so overwhelming sometimes I feel like I’m losing my footing.

I know arguments can be made for both sides so I’m really just looking to see if this is a normal part of the TTC process. Much love to everyone here ❤️

31 Comments
2024/10/25
20:50 UTC

3

IVF

I’m a 35F, and my partner (35M) and I have been married for 5 years. We’ve been trying for a baby for over a year now. Last month, after feeling emotionally drained, we consulted a doctor and did all the necessary tests, including AMH, blood work, Hsg and semen analysis for my partner. Thankfully, everything came back to normal. We also went through one cycle of IUI, and in June 2024, I experienced a chemical pregnancy. Since then, we’ve changed our lifestyle to be healthier; we don’t drink or smoke, and we don’t have any chronic diseases. I’ve been tracking my cycles and ovulation for about a year. Emotionally, it’s been really tough lately. My self-esteem is taking a hit, especially as my husband's friends are announcing pregnancies left and right. Almost every month, there’s some kind of party related to babies or pregnancy. While I’m genuinely happy for them, it’s hard not to feel overwhelmed.

At my next appointment with my doctor, I want to ask if I might be a candidate for IVF. I’m curious if there are any specific criteria in the U.S. to qualify for IVF, like needing to complete a certain number of IUI cycles first. If anyone has gone through something similar or has insights on this, I’d really appreciate your input. Thank you!

5 Comments
2024/10/25
20:36 UTC

4

Turned 40 in September, it'll be two years of trying next cycle. Need advice pls

I need some guidance, as my title states.

I just turned 40 my partner is 45. We've been trying to conceive for almost two years. I had a missed miscarriage that ended with a D&C on May 6, 2024. I have one blocked tube according to my saline HSG procedure which was done in January 2024, we conceived 3 cycles after that procedure (ending in the missed miscarriage).

The fertility specialist we work with gave me 6 months worth of Femara after the missed miscarriage to help us conceive again. This coming up cycle will be the last of that medication.

My AMA, FSH, LH are pretty good. His sperm analysis is pretty good too. I know any fertility specialist (including my own) will encourage IVF at this point because of our age and how long we've been ttc. I do not have PCOS, I have regular cycles, my miscarriage was my first and only pregnancy ever. It utterly devastated and wrecked me emotionally.

But I can't help but ask everyone here: Is my only option IVF, really?? If you were in my shoes, would you pursue IVF? I feel a fool... but I'm scared. I guess I just need to hear others opinions on my situation. Please be kind, and thank you for any advice or guidance.

39 Comments
2024/10/25
19:24 UTC

0

Physical symptoms of ovulation

I recently got off the hormonal BC pill (over 3 months ago) and I am now trying to track my ovulation symptoms. Most notable are what I perceive to be ovulation pain (right ovary), breast/nipple tenderness, and I don't know what better way to describe this but my labia swell up and seem to sit lower for 1-2 days... is that a sign that ovulation is currently happening or do those things happen before or after ovulation occurs? Oh and also around those few days I have a NEED to have sex. Unlike any other days lol - My last 2 cycles were 30 and 29 days so I feel like I am pretty regular although just coming off the pill. I am also just now starting to track BBT with an Oura ring and have ovulation strips, but I'm looking to better understand my physical symptoms and timing of ovulation (not necessarily related to conception, moreso for avoiding it lol, and learning about my body/prepping for it down the road). TY!!!

6 Comments
2024/10/25
19:03 UTC

4

Just starting TTC…is it possible to “miss” your fertile window even if you have intercourse every other day between periods?

Starting TTC this upcoming month. Some brief background - I am 30, husband is 35. Both of us are very healthy with no known medical issues. I had the copper IUD for more than 10 years, so have always been able to tell what my natural menstrual cycle was up to. I did lose my menstrual cycle for about 3 years in my 20s due to over-exercising/under-eating (competitive athlete) but have had a regular cycle now for more than 2 years (~27-32 days per cycle). I also have signs of ovulation - mild lower abdominal cramping around days 11-14, increased cervical/vaginal discharge, occasional spotting.

I’ve been reading SO much about tracking ovulation using BBT, cervical mucus, test strips — all pretty overwhelming. So back to the question in the title… if you have intercourse every other day when you are not actively bleeding/on your period, is it even necessary to do these things? Is it helpful in pinpointing exactly when you ovulate so you can time intercourse down to the exact right day? Any advice would be very helpful. Nervous to get started on this journey!

27 Comments
2024/10/25
17:30 UTC

5

Possible PCOS… feeling overwhelmed

I (32F) went to my doctor last week as I was bleeding mid-cycle (not just spotting, but period-like blood). I got a blood test and she told me that while we can’t diagnose based off one blood test, my hormones are unbalanced and what you would normally see in someone with PCOS.

I honestly never would have expected it. While I do have some of the signs of hormone issues (hair growth and breast cysts and lumps), my periods are regular (30/31-day cycles) though heavy and painful and I can usually tell that I’m preparing to ovulate or ovulating through symptoms alone - I am going to start tracking it for sure this next cycle.

Doc tried to take a cervical sample but couldn’t find my cervix…. we just winged it but might need to do it again.

I’m not really sure what I should do next or what this could mean for my fertility - my husband and I have only been trying for a month as we’ve recently got married, and it’s only because of the random bleeding that I decided to get a check.

13 Comments
2024/10/25
17:16 UTC

1

Hard, Painful Cramps after Sex while Ovulating?

Hi all,

I had an odd occurrence last night. Yesterday I was positive on OPK pee stick, so my husband and I had sex. It was maybe a little deeper than usual. In the middle of the night, I woke up with significant, painful cramps; they were in my lower stomach and radiated out towards my bottom, similar in feeling to gas pains or early labor pains (I have a toddler I delivered vaginally). They lasted for maybe 30 minutes and then completely resolved.

Is this because my cervix was bruised during sex? Or could it be cramping from ovulation? I've never noticed cramping from ovulation before, but I wouldn't necessarily know because this my first time using an OPK/tracking my cycle (first pregnancy occurred without much planning).

10 Comments
2024/10/25
17:11 UTC

4

Hard Journey

I just need to vent a little. My husband and I have been trying to conceive for about a year now. I'm 31 with PCOS, stage 1 endometriosis, and hypothyroidism.

I know many people go through similar struggles, but no one I know personally can relate.

2 months ago, I had surgery to remove some endometriosis, had a D&C to remove a little excess lining, ensure my tubes were open, and had ovarian drilling done to alleviate pressure on my ovaries and allow them to release an egg easier.

This cycle I began letrozole, which seemed to help the follicle mature and my progesterone was good when checking.

I'm now at the end of my wait for this cycle and it feels like I'll start any time now. It really hurts and I find it hard not to break down sometimes.

I have lost of 100 pounds which allowed my periods to become normal without medication. It has been normal for about 3 years now. I quit smoking. Gained some weight back. Either way there's still a lot more I need to lose, but this road has been a long one.

I don't know how to not be completely heartbroken every month. We have considered attempting IVF if it doesn't happen within 6 more months.

It just seems so easy for everyone else I know who never had a struggle like this. It feels like my body is failing me.

I tried for months to get help when I know I would need it considering my conditions, but no one would listen because they basically stated my PCOS seemed to be in remission since I had regular cycles. I finally found a doctor that would help, but if the next round doesn't work, she will refer me to fertility.

After more ultrasounds, two more cysts were found on my ovaries, but they seem to go away on their own without any issues.

I know this struggle has been hard on my partner too, but he's been amazing through everything.

Thank you for listening and allowing me to post.

1 Comment
2024/10/25
15:50 UTC

5

Does anyone get the symptomatic ovulation discharge several days before ovulation or is it just me?

We’ve been TTC for almost 15 months now with one chemical in the spring. For the most part, I don’t get super high quality CM, but I also just turned 36 so age might be a factor as I’ve tried just about everything else out.

I took a break from tracking my cycle last month but this month I’m back in the game. I use the Inito hormone monitor to track my hormones and today my E3G was off the chart. Obviously, ovulation is near. It’s only CD 11 for me and I typically tend to ovulate on CD 15, hitting my peak OPK on CD 14.

My cm is a weird mix – tons of watery discharge and lots of jelly-like blobs. I’ve seen these blobs before but they usually arrive 4-5 days before ovulation and aren’t accompanied by watery discharge. I’ve read everywhere that this jelly-like discharge is also called “egg white”, but to me it seems way too thick to be egg white and doesn’t seem like it would be very effective at moving seamen anywhere. I never actually see discharge like this on the day of ovulation, in fact sometimes it arrives after I ovulate. My cm has usually decreased on peak day and the day of ovulation. I suspect it’s because my estrogen drops to allow LH and FSH to rise and estrogen increases cervical mucus.

Does anyone get the symptomatic ovulation discharge several days before ovulation or is it just me? It’s so hard to rely on CM as an indicator for ovulation because it’s so nuanced.

11 Comments
2024/10/25
13:16 UTC

3

Looking Forward Friday

There’s so much that’s difficult about TTC, so this is a thread for looking to the future and thinking about life after TTC.

This week’s theme: Halloween costumes! What will your baby be dressed as for his or her first Halloween? Will it be a family costume? Feel free to imagine an infant or a toddler — the more costume ideas, the merrier!

9 Comments
2024/10/25
10:00 UTC

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