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1,251,269 Subscribers


Lover’s Day - Son’s first time celebrating with his girlfriend

Today is Lover's Day in my country, a holiday a bit like Valentine's Day in some other countries. It's a day where couples exchange gifts, plan on doing things together, etc. Not a complex concept.

Given my current status, I don't think I'll celebrate it (you never know), first in a while that I might skip.

However, it's also the first my 13 year old boy is celebrating with his first girlfriend. I can see how happy he is. I won't lie, I'm really nervous, but I'm also so happy for him.

Usually he can only go out with his girlfriend if I accompany them, but for this special date I offered a deal: he could go watch a film with her, by themselves, and if they were responsible and were home at the correct time I might, at my own discretion, allow them to go on their own more times. Honestly, I'm just tired of third wheeling two kids, it's a chore.

He said there aren't any good films on. So they'll just celebrate it here at home. His dedication at preparing things, he's growing way too fast.

20:47 UTC


First post but really felt like a dad today

Spent morning with the LO then changed a wing mirror on the car while LO had their nap. For context, never tried to change a wing mirror before, just came naturally as a Dad. Anyone else had some dadding achievements today to add to a great day?

20:37 UTC


What should I get him [33M] for his first Father’s Day?

Our son is almost 10 months old. When I asked him what he wanted to do he said he wanted to spend it together. He likes cars, drifting, RYOBI tools, Fallout games and anime. He has a really nice Nissan 370Z coupe that he doesn’t get to drive much. I looked up some racetracks within an hour and a half radius to see if he could drive his car on one but almost all of them require a membership in order to do that and the one place that allows it requires you to take courses in order to drive alone. They’re very expensive and outside my budget. I have his Home Depot login so I thought about looking at his saved list or cart, but that just doesn’t seem very special. I wanted to make sure his heart feels full knowing he is appreciated and a good father! He’s a great gift giver and I really want this holiday to stand out for him.

For context, we live in central Texas and the weather has been unusually hot and humid lately so being outside is unbearable unless we are around water. We would need to bring our son where ever we go. He’s trying to improve his relationship with food and focus on healthy choices.

20:25 UTC


Is it okay to watch tv while feeding my newborn late at night?

People on the internet have very strong opinions about screens and babies so I’m hoping this is a safe place to ask this. When I’m up at 3 in the morning feeding my baby is it ok to have the tv on?

18:56 UTC


Introduced my son to our newborn daughter today.

My daughter was born yesterday afternoon. Today my son got to meet her. I didn’t expect him to be happy but I also didn’t expect him to be as emotionally hurt either.

We had her laying in the bassinet when he walked in the room because my wife read somewhere to not hold the baby when they first meet. He didn’t even notice her and was super excited to see us as we’ve been in the hospital for two days now and the in-laws have been watching him.

As soon as he saw the baby his mood instantly changed. He wasn’t crying but you could tell he was super emotional. He looked like we betrayed him and I couldn’t help but tear up a little bit. I was able to take him to a little park the hospital has on the roof to get his mind off of things and it definitely helped, but I still can’t get that look that was on his face off of my mind.

I know he will eventually adapt and end up loving his little sister, but seeing him like that kind of bummed me out a bit. He’s now back at home with the in-laws.

I guess I’m just curious what other dad’s experiences were like when the older sibling met their newborn, and how long did it take for them to get used to having another kid around. Thank you.

18:47 UTC


How many dads actually golf?

Not trying to cause any drama, but with Fathers' Day right around the corner being accompanied by heaps of golf-related marketing, I'm wondering just how many dads in the current generation actually care about golf.

My dad is a golf nut, but I never had any interest. Now that I've been a dad for a few years I can't help but feel like some kind of freak. Am I alone in my golf apathy?

View Poll

18:45 UTC


When do little ones learn to help put on clothes themselves?

We have an almost 3y.o. who refuses to even try to pull up his pants, put on socks, etc...

As he's getting bigger it's becoming more of a struggle to wrestle him into his pants, especially when he's being rowdy. Any strategies that you guys have tried to help start this process? I'm not expecting overnight success, but I've been trying for a few months to get him to start trying without much success.

18:05 UTC


How long are you comfortable letting your 1yo play alone?

I'm a sahd, and watch my little dude every day.

He's the best. Funny, sweet, eats well, (still working on sleep)

He loves to throw disc golf discs. I have a basket in the house and he can literally go for a couple hours just picking up frisbees and throwing them in the basket. (all that on top of us going to the park for a couple hours a day to play)

I usually join him for a while, but eventually I just let him do his thing.

I don’t have experience with kids at all outside of him, so I don’t know if this much independent play is considered healthy?

17:52 UTC


Any tips for a 3 year old that gets very angry and violent at bedtime only?

He is almost 3. By day, a super sweet, loving, affectionate, caring empathetic little dude with a great personality. When it's nap time, he goes straight to sleep, no questions asked.

When its time for bed (we usually start actually laying him down after bath and books etc. At 7:30) he doesn't want to out his pj's on. When we get them on, he's usually hyper, defiant, etc. He's always trying to get out of bed, grab his toys, run out of the room, you know the drill. He always has a stalling method (I want water, I want socks on, I need that stuffie etc.). I'm telling him no to everything (except pee and water because he usually actually does need those things).

The last month or so hes been getting so angry at bedtime. He hits and kicks me and mom for no reason (I'm sure there's a reason he's upset but I mean we're not raising our voices, showing love and kindness in our words and actions). He is intentionally doing chaotic things. He screams at us to leave, then calls for us minutes later. There's just so much anger. We're both super loving, caring and attentive parents. We are pretty good at keeping our emotions in check and maintaining a level head and calmness when he's acting out. I found myself yelling at him 3 times or so in the past month because I was just so frustrated, but apologized and he gave me a big hug after.

Also, whenever he kicks or hits and acts out, whenever he is ACTUALLY ready to sleep he always says he's sorry unprompted and gives us hugs.

Any parents had a similar experience that could give advice? Hes never mad like this at any other time.

Some nights it takes 1.5-2 hours to get him to bed, its so ridiculous but I'm not sure what steps to take here. We plan to discuss with his pediatrician as well.

17:39 UTC


Father’s Day is coming up- would you rather be gifted a gas or pellet grill?

Hello Daddit,

Clueless wife here - I’d like to gift my husband a grill for Father’s Day that will pay me dividends (in food) 😀

My husband has two round charcoal grills because my family keeps giving us stuff and we’d love to keep one for the occasional steak or hamburger.

Other than that, I’m really loving the idea of a pellet smoker to supplement the charcoal.. for chicken, ribs, and low and slow kind of meals. Is the Traeger 34 Pro a good place to start? Or is a gas grill (thinking Weber) the better all around option? I’m worried pellet grills aren’t great for searing meat or making several burgers at a time when we’re entertaining.

Sorry, I know this probably gets asked many, many times. I appreciate you all so much for your suggestions!

17:29 UTC


Need advice for night feedings and newborn refusing to latch

Hey fellow dads! New father to an 8 day old, looking for advice/sympathy/an outlet. I'm sorry if this gets long, I just want to provide as much info has possible.

My son was born via a semi-planned C-section (different story) and had a little trouble breathing so had to spend a couple nights in the NICU. I mention this because while he was there they were giving him 25 ml of donor milk in addition to the colostrum my wife was producing. I remember my wife worrying about the amount he was eating because we were told in the first few days he only really needs the colostrum she produces. But the Drs said he needed the extra energy.

My wife has had no trouble with producing milk. While she was in the hospital all the nurses and lactation consultants commented how much colostrum she was able to make. And she continues to produce really well.

My son has been able to latch, but sometimes struggles. He'll sometimes unlatch himself too quick like after a minute or less. The last few days had been getting better though.

The typical feedings are pretty quick. He'll typically only need about 5-15 min on one breast before he unlatches himself and passes out. His weight after one week is already up to his birth weight, so we figure it must be working.

I feel very lucky for all of this. But there is one or several compounding issues, and last night was a pretty extreme example.

My wife tells me that once she sees the sun start to go down she starts feeling very stressed and anxious. The 1-5am feedings are the hardest. My wife is exhausted by 10pm so we try to give him a good feeding before then so my wife can get a longer nap before my son's witching hour. Well at that feeding he didn't latch for long, maybe 5 min and was out. We try to coax him to eat more but he doesn't seem interested/possibly full. I sent her to bed with reassurance that I can give him one of our bottles of pumped milk to hold him over until the next full feeding time. Like 15 min after she goes to bed he starts fussing again for food. I give him the bottle, about 20ml. Try to soothe him back to sleep, but he's still giving hunger cues. Debate with myself if I should give him a second bottle or wake my wife. She'd be stressed about dipping into our stockpile further, but she's SO tired and I thought it'd be best to let her rest so she can feel better for that next feeding. I give him the bottle, about 30ml.

He's still hungry. Panic.

Try to soothe him with rocking and a pacifier and hope he had enough to make it just one more hour. But he won't. I can feel myself getting angry and frustrated. I don't want to go for a third bottle because we'd only have two bottles left and we're trying not to pump to avoid her getting engorged again.

Wake Mom up to give him a feeding. Tell her I'm sorry and that I gave him two bottles. She seems annoyed that I gave him a second but starts to attempt to feed.

He's definitely still hungry because he's rooting but he just refuses to latch. It's literally right in his mouth and he's just screaming. Try our best to calm him down but Mom and myself are barely holding it together.

We give him another couple bottles, maybe 60-70ml total, but we're too tired and panicked to check. Mom pumps some more. My system for cleaning and sanitizing is messed up.

He calms down a bit but is now wide awake. Try to rock him, pacifier, but he doesn't want to sleep now. Try to put him in the Snoo so we can finally get a little rest. It's the first time we've ever used it and I'm too wired to take my eyes off him. He doesn't really sleep either, but at least Mom was able to get some.

Eventually he becomes inconsolable again due to hunger and mom takes him to get another bottle. I wake up at about 6am with Mom crying and baby asleep. I get him put down and go straight to her.

She's so overwhelmed by the post partum, the lack of sleep, and the difficulty with the feedings. She's slept a little more but has barely stopped crying since. She pushed me to try another feeding and when baby was still passed out and uninterested she broke down again.

She's chatting with her mom now, I encouraged her to talk to her therapist who will call her a little later, and then we invited a friend of hers to come over cause she's Said she's liked having visitors to feel like a real person.

I need advice, dads. I feel like I'm doing everything I can to try to take care of her and do what's best for baby. I want to stop breastfeeding for awhile and just have her pump. It feels just too much right now. Does that make sense? It's there anything else I can do?

1 Comment
17:29 UTC


Dried Playdough

I hereby doth formally invoke the collective knowledge of Daddit: how do I get dried Playdough out of this?

16:50 UTC


What's the youngest age you'd take your child to a Caribbean resort?

My wife and I are dying to go on a vacation at this point. The last time we were able to get on a plane anywhere was in 2019 before COVID hit. We'd really like to go to an all-inclusive for a week and we have a 16-month-old daughter now. She is wonderful and has recently started going to bed on her own, and she sleeps through the night.

Honestly, my main concern is actually the water. In the Caribbean, you shouldn't drink the tap water or bath water. Really, only the filtered bottled water is safe to drink. Our daughter LOVES the water and my personal take is we can't safely take her down south until we can communicate with her what water is safe to drink and she understands.

But I know families go with kids much younger than our own. So I'm curious from anyone who's travelled to the Caribbean with their littles ones - what age did you go? And if you did go with a young child under 2 how did you handle the water situation?

EDIT: A lot of people are suggesting to buy/bring bottled/filtered water. That is not my concern. My concern is specifically putting her in the bath/pool where she is surrounded by water and will inevitably drink it. I'm assuming others have taken their little ones to a resort and have dealt with the same issue so I'd like to know how or if they got sick and you just dealt with it.

16:40 UTC


Help getting 50% LEGAL custody

Hey there fellow dads,

My kids' mother and I have been split up for just over 2 years and now and funny enough things have been amazing. We get along and co-parent better than anyone I've ever seen. Occasional disagreements but nothing that everyone doesn't go through.

But I've heard all these horror stories and things about moms who date a new guy and flip the script or change unexpectedly and it has me wanting to get something in writing because legally today she could say you can't see them anymore and I'd be S.O.L. (don't get me started on how the system is unfair to fathers).

Anyway, I'm just unsure of how to get this process started. As of right now we have a true 50/50 split on time. I'm sure she would agree to signing something or putting together an agreement regarding custody. Like I said, my main goal at the moment is just to get something legally binding so that my rights one day can't be yanked from me.

15:46 UTC


General question to the Dads from humble beginnings and securing your children's future

To those of you that come from humble beginnings (i.e. poverty), no generational wealth, no inheritance, no financial support from family --- do you think about this when looking at your kid(s) future? If yes, do you actively forego pleasures in life to put money away, or some other long-term goal to secure their future?

I've been trying to buy a house for a couple years, and I see a lot of friends/colleagues benefitting from generation wealth, or otherwise financial support from family. I grew up on welfare in the 80s and 90s. Both parents had substance abuse issues, and in 2008, my family home was foreclosed, my father and mother passed very shortly after in my early 20s. My parents died penniless and I've been on my own since 16.

Through some luck and hard work, i'm in a position now where I'm making decent money, and I very much want my kids to be in a much better place than I was. Owning a home on my own will not happen for a while, but do you other dads think about this? Basically foregoing experiences, luxuries, etc, to see that your kids get the fruits of your labor?

For an example, i paid off my car 2 years ago, and have not gotten a new one for the sole reason of saving money for my kids (this is painful because I love cars). I shove money in my 401K and my main motivator is giving it to my kids and not me retiring. I also have some hefty life insurance policies.

15:44 UTC


Rec little league baseball dads - how is this year going for you?

This is the 6th year of little league with my 11 year old. It's definitely been the most challenging and least fun (for me). He's playing with the 11-12 year olds.

At this age group, It's crazy to see how big the gap between physically gifted kids and the rest gets. Our league also has around 15 players who have been playing competitive for a couple years now and they are just way beyond everyone else talent and skill.

Needless to say, Our league did not do a good job of dividing up the competitive players and this year my son's team did not get any comp players. We've lost every game by a lot. My son is also very small for his age so, despite our practice, he's had a tough time keeping up. This year we've learned a lot about adversity and sportsmanship.

How's your season going? Does anyone else's league do anything different to make sure competitive players don't dominate the league? I'd love to hear it, if so.

15:37 UTC


Lurker mom here- I need help finishing what to write in the Father's Day card I'm making

I was thinking something along the lines of "your hat trick loves you!!" (There are 3 of us, our two kids and me).... but I'm completely sports stupid and have no idea if that even makes sense. Can you help me come up with something cute to finish the card with?

15:23 UTC


An inconsistent poop schedule leads to celebrating the small things

15:19 UTC


How to be a good dad in a horrible world?

Hey everyone,

I'm reaching out because I’m going through a tough time mentally, and it’s really getting to me. It’s not productive at all. I used to be easy-going, optimistic, and carefree. I never worried about anything. Being into combat sports my whole life, I always felt safe, like I could handle anything the world threw at me.

Fast forward two years and now I have two young children. Everything has changed. It’s not that I’ve changed fundamentally; I’m just much more aware of the harshness and cruelty in the world.

I worry about my kids constantly. They are my world. I love my daughter and son more than life itself. I'd die for them. The world feels like such a dangerous place. I see so much violence, crime, and war footage, and hear about horrific events happening all over. The algorithms show me this at an increasingly more depraved rate. I've tried going off social media, but I have an online business, and essentially I have to spend time there.

Living in Europe, I’m constantly reminded of the huge floods of migrants, who disregard societal norms. There is extreme the threat of Russian invasion (I’m on the border), and the looming fear of nuclear war. It’s overwhelming.

I find myself obsessively thinking about human cruelty—the things happening in current combat zones, the rapes, the tortures, and killing of kids and mothers, fathers. Watching innocent kids suffer and die chokes me up. I just can’t handle it. Evil people are everywhere, and it feels like they always will be. It’s all so disturbing.

Not long ago, such brutality didn’t hit me as hard, I am a big history nerd and I am well versed into the savagery of the human race, but now, as a father, it’s unbearable.

I have two little toddlers and a partner who depend on me, making the world feel even more dangerous.I understand that social media algorithms highlight the worst parts of humanity. I know most people are good and just want to live in peace.

But my mind is always on high alert, bracing for a moment when everything could be taken, by pure chance of being in the wrong place or wrong time. Missing something. Not being present..etc

Is anyone else feeling this way? How do you cope with these fears and anxieties? I want to build a good happy life for my family, but these paranoid thoughts are hurting my productivity, and spirit of hope, faith and positivity, which is required to move up in life.

Seems like the only solution is to get rich enough to have options, safety, and protection.

I’m just trying to hustle, stay sane, and find a place that feels safe—like New Zealand, for example. I want to live in peace, build my business, and raise some chickens. Am I crazy for thinking this way?

Thanks for reading, and I’d love to hear how others have overcome similar fears if you’re in the same boat.

15:09 UTC


Any other dads have a kid that just, loses his Shi(rt) when you talk to your partner/spouse? Need to hear how others have it worse so I don’t go crazy over here.

Seriously I love my little guy, but jeez I cannot get a word to my wife or the phone at work without screaming or protests to look at him. I’m trying my best to be patient and remind him but holy fuck this is a long journey before this lesson sticks.

Edit: to add some clarity for my end, I have a 2 year old toddler. Appeals to reason are…a few years (conservative estimate) out for my little guy. But seriously just post your solutions anyways, I wanna know what if youre struggling or found a solution or whatever you wanna share!

15:08 UTC


Grilling plans for Father's Day?

Any other dads celebrating Father's Day by firing up the grill? What's on the menu?

I'm planning to grab some steaks from the local meat market and reverse sear them on my Kamado Joe for the family. Can't wait!

15:05 UTC


Teaching lessons on consent / inappropriate contact (4YO)

Fortunately, the situation is not as bad as the title sounds. However, looking for advice on best practices for teaching our 4YO(F) about what is right/wrong in terms of who/what/where touching is OK. Long story short, while at daycare, another 4YO(F) was kissing her on the lips. They are friends and our daughter thought it was funny, etc. There was no malintent by the friend, she was just showing affection.

While our daycare teacher promptly informed both party's parents involved, and we immediately started the reminders on consent when we got her home, I am still curious what you fellow dads out there found as especially useful and effective in teaching our little ones about this and (hopefully) getting ahead of this at an early age. TIA!

14:56 UTC


First Birthday Ideas

Hey fellow dads! I was curious about what you all did for the first birthday. Ours is coming up in a couple of months. We have about 55 people we want to invite but most of them don't have kids. We can't really host it at our place. I am concerned about having a pretty mid or boring event and unsure what to do if I get a venue since it's not really a wedding or baby shower. I also live in Texas and the birthday is in August, so the weather for an outdoor event will be miserable. I'm open to ideas for things to do or ways to host. Thanks y'all!

[Advice Request]

14:56 UTC


Quit my job to work for myself making mobiles for babies.

Now my career is hanging in the balance.

14:47 UTC


One Child Families - Pros/Cons/SEL tips?

First post here on Daddit, love you guys.

My wife and I have decided one child is it for us, little guy is 3 and is so much fun we kinda don’t want to add anything more to our equation.

My question is for dads of one child, and conversely those of you with many more, what are the advantages to the number of children you have and with an only child what types of social and emotional development traits should we look to foster or stave off with just one kid going solo?

14:47 UTC


Mom’s screen time

My wife has a demanding job, far far more demanding than my job. She is our breadwinner and that has always been the case, it’s not an issue for either of us. I pick up the household slack and handle the majority meals and chores and it’s a set up that works for us. On the plus side she left her even more demanding job before our son was born so there has been an improvement in the way of work/life balance.

What I have been noticing lately though is that she is on her phone all. The. Time. Our son is coming up on 16 months and still breastfeeding which we have discussed and she is totally ok with, but she doesn’t feel like she can get him to play with her because he just sees her as the breastaurant. He goes for the boobs and she gets on her phone. I don’t mind this because there isn’t a lot else for her to do while breastfeeding. I’m starting to notice though that when he delatches she stays on the phone. He starts playing and mom is still scrolling.

I don’t really know know how to bring this up with her without sounding accusatory. When I notice it I’ll ask what she is doing, and sometimes she is responding to a work email but more often than not she is doing something that isn’t urgent, like shopping or scrolling Instagram.

I’m starting to think it’s a problem but I don’t know a nice way to ask her to just try to cut back. I get on my phone around the little guy occasionally too and I’m not saying she has to stop altogether, I don’t want to be a hypocrite or impose any sort of rules because she’s an adult and she decompresses from her job in her own way, but it’s really starting to feel excessive. I can objectively say that she is on her phone a lot more than I am while we are with our kiddo.

Our window for quality time with our son has gotten a lot smaller since he started daycare and I want to make sure we are making the most of that time. She wraps up work around 5-530 at the earliest and his bed time is 730ish, so she really has just a 2 hour window pretty much every day to spend with him. She is a great mom, but I worry that our son is now starting to pick up on the attention the phone is getting every time she is with him. It’s not neglectful or anything, honestly I think she subconsciously chases that dopamine hit that those Instagram reels give. My most recent example is we were trying to go for a walk, I got our son dressed and our dog ready, just waiting on mom. She is standing in our room half dressed on her phone. I ask what she’s doing and she goes “finding out the difference between a civilian ford explorer and an undercover cop.” And more often than not that’s it. Just silly stuff like that. Work stuff I leave her alone about, shopping for our boy online is a tough one because the argument is she’s doing it for him but generally it can wait until another time (with the exception of an occasional flash sale), but the majority of the time it’s those Instagram reels. The only social media I have is Reddit so Instagram is foreign to me, but I will say I have never been the one everyone else is waiting on because I am on Reddit, we are always waiting on her.

Am I overreacting here? How would you guys bring this up if you were in my shoes? Would you bring it up at all?

14:29 UTC


Dads who game and rest at night

Looking for gift ideas for my husband. He is a new dad and this is his first Father’s Day. I have read through a lot of the recent posts on this page and it seems like a lot of things dads wanted for Father’s Day was just some time to themselves. I totally get that, and I think my husband falls into the same category. However, still want to get him a physical gift. What are some things you have in your space where you relax/game/etc that really help you decompress after a day of dad-ing? Could be anything. Just know a pipe and slippers ain’t really it. lol. Appreciate the help!

13:54 UTC

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