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When my oldest daughter turned 5, it was right at the height of the pandemic. No school, no parties, no friends, family, nothing. It was a terrible time to turn such a milestone age. So, on the day of her 5th birthday, I wanted to try and make it up to her and help her know that things wouldn't always be like this forever. I wanted her to dream and plan and concoct something magical, mystical, crazy!

And so I said, "Hey. You know you're ½ way to double digits, kid! 5 more years to the big 1-0! You should come up with something insane for your 10th birthday! Something wild or weird; something fun! As big or little as you want!" She replies, in a flat monotone, "I can have anything?" "...sure!" I'm thinking I'm gonna have to rent a pony, buy a new Playstation, sell my soul for Taylor Swift tickets, something that, you know, you would expect a 5 year old to ask for.

"Okay. I know what I want." So, just to clarify, the task that I gave her for her to dream on and concoct and scheme over for the next 5 years took her 5 seconds to decide on. "All... well, all right, okay then, shoot. What are we doing?"

"I want you to take me to Paris. Just me. Just you. I want to turn 10 in Paris." 🤯 Okay, WHAT?!!?

Now, I love Paris - I've been there four times. It's one of my favorite cities in the world. But you... are 5. And in the 4½ years since this conversation, I have done my devilest to tempt her, trick her, lure her to absolutely anything else. "So what do you wanna do for your 10th?" "Oh, we're going to Paris." "You wanna have a party with school friends?" "Can't. We'll be in Paris." And for 4½ years, that little girl HAS. NOT. WAVERED. ONE. BIT. And we are now 95 days from the big 1-0... and 86 days until our fight leaves.

We're doing 2 days in Dublin, 2 days in Edinburgh, 4 days in Paris (where she will turn 10), a day in Brussels, a day in Amsterdam, 3 days in Berlin, and 4 days in Rome and the Vatican. She wants to fall in love with the world, I'll show her the world I fell in love with. We'll be gone for 2½ weeks, just the two of us; no mommy or stepmom, no brothers or sister - just daddy and daughter out in the world together.

And speaking of her sister...

Recently, while planning this tour with my oldest, my other daughter very innocently asked, "We'll, so, does this mean I can have a daddy/daughter trip of my very own for my 10th birthday too?" "Heh! You know what, sure. Let's make this a family tradition; a vacation with dad for everyone's 10th birthdays. Let's do it, baby! Where we going for your 10th birthday?"

"Tokyo!"

🤯

So I'm a pretty skinny guy and have had trouble sticking with exercising for very long. A while back I got a Ring Fit for the Switch and it's pretty good, I've been sticking to it pretty consistently. I noticed today that I have enough muscle definition that I can actually see my abs in the right light, or at least I think I can enough that I'm happy with it.

My wife has some self-image problems and a while back she told me that looking at me makes her feel bad about herself, so I've been avoiding being around her without a shirt or anything. Can't really brag to the coworkers, so I thought I'd say something here. Have a good one, Dads.

3.5 year old. Bedtime is taking forever.

No screens after 6pm (both for bedtime and family time). Brush teeth and potty at 7:30pm. She has until 8:15 for stories depending how much stalling takes palace.

She will then lay in bed and do anything but sleep until 10pm. Tap on the side board, move stuff around, flap her pillow, jump up and down, anything but try to sleep. She usually gives in around 10pm.

Wake is at 6:30/7am. And it’s been really hard to get her going in the morning. Like a dang teenager already. Day care has a pretty hard drop off time and we both got work. Weekends she will sleep to 8.

When it comes to nap time she can zonk out in 5 minutes. And she is no fun right now at 5pm if she didn’t get 30-45 minute nap after lunch.

Do we take away naps? Do we take more privileges away if she isn’t trying to sleep? Do we move bedtime to 9pm even if she becomes a terror after 7:30? Do we ignore it?

I’m sure we will get past this silly problem and have a new one in a few months. “It doesn’t get better, it just gets different”.

It’s quick. It works. But I’m over it. Any suggestions? Little one is 14 months old and grabs onto everything for support.

I work at an adolescent psychiatric facility. Our building, depending on the unit, has almost 100 kids varying between the ages of 5 and 20, male and female, from children to legal adults. A few weeks ago, I started thinking about the kids that have been here long-term. Kids that have been here longer than I have. Most of them made sense; violent, heavily medicated, a threat to themselves or others. But one girl, up on our kids unit, confused me; one that I'd work with personally. Her behavioral issues had been a problem at one point, but had all but been resolved; her medication was mild and steady; she honestly seemed to be a normal, healthy, happy-go-lucky kid! So then... why is she still here? And I went and pulled her case file. Which was, say it with me now, an absolute mistake.

She's in here because she has no home to go to. Through no fault of her own, she was abandoned by her birth family and abandoned by her foster family (who thought her medication routine was too complicated and gave her up.) She has no nightly calls, no weekly visitors, literally no one in her life other than her caseworker. The fact that this child can smile at all is a goddamn miracle. So, I waited a few days and made my next mistake... I called her caseworker. Two minutes into this conversation, the woman suddenly gasped and said, "You!" I said... "Me?" She said caseworkers come to check on her a couple times a month, and they'd noticed a sudden and severe shift in her mood, behavior, all of it, and we couldn't figure out what had changed for her there. "Does she call you Mr." Such-and-such? "Yeah, that's what they call me there." "It's you. She talks about you all the time." Oh, hell.

I am 41 years old and happily married, though it's taken a lot of bad marriages to find out exactly what "happily" means. Luckily, while I've had a lot of unfortunate relationships (two abusers and two alcoholics), I managed to have a few really incredible kids along the way; I had my oldest daughter (9) with my 2nd wife, my second daughter and my son with my 3rd wife, and my two year old son with my happily married 4th wife. Not only that, but we have another little boy on the way - due in May. That's 5 kids we have under one roof. Now, thankfully, my kids are wonderful, well-behaved, tremendously loving people. They are courteous and polite with excellent manners, compassion, and empathy. That being said... it's still FIVE KIDS. FIVE. MY LIFE PLAN WAS TO STOP AT TWO! FIVE! 5! FREAKING CINCO NINOS FIVE FREAKING KIDS! Thatssomanykids youguys thatssomanygoddamnkids. And now... it's looking like... it's gonna be six.

I started the paperwork for my wife and I to become my patient's guardians and foster family, with expressed interest in working towards adoption. This girl needs to be playing in the sunshine, jumping at a trampoline park, having dinners and birthdays and Xmases with loved ones, not struggling every day to find a reason to go on because her entire life is four white hospital walls. And no one is lining up to adopt a child in a mental facility, especially not one pushing 10 years old. So... if not me, then who? If not now, then when? And when I asked her if she'd like to spend more time with me outside of the hospital, she responded by doing a cartwheel.

Six kids. In a few months, I'll have a new youngest and new oldest (she's one month and 2 days older than my oldest). My kids have already started writing her letters and setting toys aside for their "new sister."

God, I love my family.

It’s been like 3 months she’d let me do it twice.

I think we alternated no problem for a few years and one night it just stopped.

We also have a 20m son who also loves alternating but gets sad now cause all he gets is me. If my wife does both she loses so much time and my daughter is up to late.

How to change it? If we force it it’s a meltdown that end of ssh energy can barely handle

We are going to Africa in about 2 months and will be traveling to different locations for which a crib/pack n' play will not be an option. Should we just prepare our toddler now for sleep outside of her crib?

She hasn't really attempted to climb out and has been completely contempt in her crib. But to make it easier on us during our trip, should we transition her to a toddler bed over the next 2 months so it won't be a pain during our trip?

Any tips for success?

EDIT: Toddler turns 3 in May

Every night when I tuck her in… dada big hugs? Of course sweetheart, dada loves you and loves big hugs, come here and give dada big hugs. (Proceeds to step out of bed and step directly on my boys), “I love you dada”… squeak, I love you too baby”.

Alright, our guy will be 3 in April. We started potty training just after Christmas. He has been doing great but 1 issue is he has a hard time tucking his pee pee down so he doesn't pee everywhere. We do have a seat adapter but the lip just isn't enough and hard to get him to sit back on the seat and up enough to get the correct angle.

Any advice.

So about 3 weeks ago my boy turned 2. And maybe 6 or 7 months ago he was giving early signs that he was ready for potty training but the circumstances of our life were such that it wasn't an ideal time for us to start it. But it's time now. We've had him using the toilet two or three times a day for the last several months but haven't committed to no diapers and only using the toilet. Also night diapers get him till morning but then they are becoming inadequate. So we need to get off the pot so to speak.

He is also now able to climb into his crib from the outside but not out from the inside yet. That's going to happen any second now and we're getting ready to switch to a toddler bed.

His room is upstairs in our small house. His bedroom has a door and fortunately the knob is currently out of his reach and I can switch it so it's lockable from the outside. I plan to turn it into a Dutch door so that he can be safely contained and observed when my wife is working in the landing area upstairs.

So here's the problem I'm asking how other people solved... Given that we want him to get up and go potty in the middle of the night if he needs to, but we also don't think it's a good idea for him to try to open his door and go down the stairs unattended let alone in the middle of the night when he just barely woke up, what do we do? The best bet I have is some kind of chamber pot or miniature potty in his room that he can't knock over. Probably surrounded by some kind of a mat to absorb any mess that he gets outside of it. There is no way that I'm going to actually plumb a real toilet upstairs. Our house was small and built in the 40s and that's just not a practical reality.

Did one of you have a better solution? If not do any of you have any good recommendations for miniature toilets that we can set up in his bedroom? Links would be appreciated.

Lads, I need some advice. I don't know if I can post this here but the wife and I are trying for baby number two and whilst I find her as attractive as ever, the sex is mind-numbingly dull. Like she throws on outfits and initiates more often but my heart just isn't in it. It's like the game is good until you know the ending kind of thing. I could be in the mood but my little dude just isn't as hyped up as I am. It's like I'm forcing it to get out of bed with a hangover. I know it's literally a means to an end but did anyone else struggle with it being every night? What did you do?

To preface, we have a 9 month old, and his half sister who is almost 2. We only have his sister part time, and she goes to her dad's half the week, when she is home, they share a room, this is important.

Our 9 month old suddenly flipped some sort of a switch where he doesn't want to be held to be put to sleep. He wants to, and can do it on his own, but it takes a considerable amount of time, in the realm of about an hour to hour and a half. The time doesn't matter much for the half of the week that we don't have his sister, but when we have both of them, he keeps his sister awake as she's a very light sleeper.

The waking his sister bit would be less of an issue if she didn't have such massive speration anxiety with mom, and she still requires being basically tricked into bed time, and coddling until she's asleep, and beyond.

At the end of the month, ironically her second birthday, we close on our first house, so the bedroom part won't be an issue anymore. But I am losing my mind having to bring him to the living room every night to have him sleep in a pack n play when she's home, and my back is killing me from having to sleep in the couch on these nights.

I love my stepdaughter as much as my son, and I've been a part of her live since she was born, so I feel like an asshole when I say I can't wait for her to go back to her dad's tomorrow so I can finally get some sleep in my own bed.

Ps. Sleeping in the living room with him because we have a 2 floor apartment shared with my Fiances mother, and her other 2 children, so if he wakes up in the middle of the night I need to be able to calm him down asap as to not disturb the others, as the other bedrooms are downstairs, and we rent the upstairs. It's a bit cramped, and in general I'm happy to be able to afford a house, and give a stable home to our children. But closing needs to get here faster because I'm going insane with all these, what feels like weekly, sleep changes with both of them that I can't manage to accommodate with our currently small living situation.

Time to upgrade the family car!

By August I'll have one that's 6, 5, and NB

We were so close to being completely out of diapers 😭

I’ve worked for 2 very large companies over the last 15 years you’ve no doubt heard of but keeping them anonymous on Reddit. I’ve worked hard to climb the ladder, get promoted and make good money. But now the work is draining me and making horribly depressed. The last 4 years I have survived 3 rounds of layoffs and have gone from a top performer to midrange to lower performer because of the horrible internal changes and constant restructuring. We recently had RTO, which would be fine even with the 1 hour commute, but we have zero amenities, we have no break room, no microwave, no fridge, no coffee pot. I share a room with 7 other guys who also make calls, have virtual meetings and it’s over stimulating to work in compared to my home office. One drinking fountain and one bathroom with a single stall that’s always in use. Our schedule expectations has no lunch break, or breaks at all. And I find myself still needing to take client calls and support them on weekends and evenings. I took a 2 week vacation last month and with the post holidays I fell into the bottom 30% of the org for results and got written up. There was no consideration for my time off to give me quota relief and I worked during my vacation to not fall below that mark but still missed it by 1%.

All of this wouldn’t matter and I would just quit and find something else, even if it made less money, except I have a 4 year old and family to think about and support. I’m missing time with them, even now at 7pm I’m typing on Reddit taking a short break before I grind out more work to get to perform. I think I’m at my breaking point. I’m applying for other jobs, even ones I should be overqualified for, but not getting any calls or responses. Anyone dads going through this or have gone through this? How did you survive? How did you balance time for your kids?

Anyway didn’t know where else to vent except this sub.

3yo son has added ‘fuck’ to his vernacular. I thought I had rode out the ‘butts, poos, fart’ jokes, but they have come back with a vengeance.

‘Daddy a girl facked me in the butt today’

My wife was making pancake art for the girls. This is her piece that she calls "Bird hits window".

I’m going to be an assistant coach for my sons t-ball team. I have no clue what I’m doing and have little to no knowledge of baseball/t-ball. I know it’s just going to be herding the kids around since they’re 4 but I’m not ready for the small talk about baseball (I’m football, my wife is the baseball fan) nevermind if they throw me a ball and my true football lineman side comes out. Wish me luck guys

Any other dads out there with crazy long/tall babies? What did you do?

My boys about to outgrow his bassinet at 4 months...

Alright Gentlemen. I need to workshop something.

My kid just turned 7 and is officially old enough to do chores. We’ve already begun to talk about finances, in general, but especially the prospect of her earning some money via household labor.

I plan on taking some of her “pay” and dropping it into her brokerage account and then putting the rest in a checking account for her and she’d have her own lil debit card too.

So here’s the part I need help with: what’s the current market like, for chores? Back in my day, I got very little. I’d imagine that things have changed since then.

Here’s a list of the work she’ll be doing:

—Trash

—assisting with dishes ( our kitchen cabinets are kinda high)

—living room and bedroom clean-up

--assisting with bathroom cleaning

So, what are we thinking is fair, per-task completion, pay for this list?

I'm a 21-year-old who grew up without a strong relationship with my father due to his abusive nature. This absence left a void in me: a longing for connection, guidance, and affirmation. It shaped me into both an overachiever, constantly pushing myself to prove my worth, and someone who struggles with self-doubt, especially about masculinity and identity.

What I truly seek is a father figure: someone who is loving, caring, and willing to take me under their wing. I crave deep conversations, mentorship, and a bond that feels like family. I’m a nerd at heart, passionate about a wide range of topics, an avid reader (especially Murakami), and a lover of rock and indie music. People often say I have an old soul and a deeply compassionate nature, and I just want to share that with someone who genuinely sees and values me.

My little one wants twinkle twinkle little moon. This is what I came up with so far:

Twinkle twinkle little moon Hope you’re back very soon Up above the world so high Like a giant in the sky. Twinkle twinkle little moon Hope I’ll see you very soon .

I don’t like the soon line but I can’t think of anything else. I could ask ChatGPT, but this seems more fun.

What have you all got, dads?

P.S. English is my second language.

Here’s the deal dads: I work 6 days a week and I am completely exhausted. I have my daughter 4 days a week, 3 of those days I am responsible for dinner and honestly I am at whit’s end. I don’t have time or energy to cook for me let alone both of us. She’s four and I am considering a meal service for just her.

Have any of you other single dads tried a toddler meal service? If so which service was it and what’d you think?

No respect..

Hello fellow dads. I will to try to not be dramatic here however it feels like my home life and work life are slowly slipping from my grasp. Things are not great right now. I will make a long story short. I am suffering from anxiety and depression. This is translating to me being distant, irritable, moody and just all around an absolute dick to deal with. I’ve gotten into it with my boss and coworker a few times in the past few weeks. My amazing wife doesn’t want to get a divorce however she’s losing her patience and it’s rightfully so. Anyhow, we start therapy on Wednesday and I need to figure out therapy for my own self. I’ve got all that covered….

I guess my question is do any of you fellow dads have any advice on late night activities to keep myself busy after the kiddos go to sleep and my wife is doing her thing? I need to keep busy so I don’t drown in my own thoughts and emotions. Is there like a discord of you dads who chat online? My wife and I have been together for quite some time and in those years I lost all contact with my old friends. I don’t exactly drink anymore so the bar isn’t a solution. I don’t have any friends I can reach out to. Also any of your guys been in a “similar” situation and have a positive outcome please chime in. I could use a little pick me up. Thanks boys!!

Dads, I'm here to remind you all that climate change is a real issue that affects each and every one of us. These poor fish suffered a horrific fate because their natural habitat dried up, and no one is doing anything about it. Will someone please think of the fishes??

Hey daddit! I'm about to transition my almost 3 year old to a toddler bed out of her crib. My girl is a night owl. Current night routine just requires one of us to read her a book, sing to her a few songs, and put her in her crib. We'll put her down around 9-9:30 and most of the time she will just be up in her crib from anywhere between 30 minutes to an hour just playing with her stuffed animals or talking to herself. If we put her in there sooner (i.e., before 9), then she'll be up longer. She eventually falls asleep on her own without needing us to re-enter.

Once she has the freedom to leave her bed , I just KNOW that she is going to get up, play with her toys, and/or open her door to leave her room. Opening doors is super easy for her and she is an active child. Mom and I don't go to bed until around 11 ish. Once baby is down, that is our wind down time and I am usually in the garage working out and my wife is doing her thing.

Any advice on what I can do here? Do I just keep walking her back to her room to read her a book or sing to her to try to get her to fall asleep? She will honestly just ask me to read book after book after book if she had the chance. And it has been super rare that we are able to sing her to sleep or do anything like that unless we spend a full day at the park or at Disneyland or have a super active day.

She is about to start preschool so I know that will help because I will be getting her up earlier than she is used to and she will be out all day. But I am genuinely stressing mostly because I feel like we have it so easy with just being able to leave her in her crib and she'll fall asleep on her own (after some time). One of my thoughts is to put a toddler door stop or something on her door to prevent her from opening it and leaving the room but then I don't know if that is safe, frowned upon, or good for her?

Any advice would be awesome! Thanks!

Hi dads,

I‘m looking for any experience on traveling in the USA with young kids. Ours will be 4, 2.5 and 9 months and we wanted to take about 90 days traveling from florida along the coast/ gulf towards texas…

Seems like a good idea for now, any feedback, tips, experiences also about the cost of such a trip? Were thinking of renting an RV and taking our time…

Thanks in advance