Don't forget to check out our wiki, and our content filter at the top of the screen!

Widowed since Feb with a 9 yr old.

I’m hardly ever actually alone; either with my kid or working etc but in the evening when you finally get to sit down, have a late dinner, cold beer etc, fuck me if doesn’t get lonely..

Another adult to relate to, lean on or be leant on.. you know. Let alone physical comfort, of all sorts..

Online dating, not ready for that. Friends are either busy with their own family stuff or in a different time zone…

Not even looking for advice, just wanted to type it out and have someone hear it. Needed to be said.

Today my newborn is a week old. It has been such a blessed (and exhausting) 7 days (and nights) that have been filled with wonder, awe, and most of all, “holy shit look how cute she is.”

I feel like I have taken more pictures of her these past 7 days than I have the past 7 months of everything else combined. I share these pictures with my wife, family, and friends. However, when it comes to sharing online, I have decided to hold off.

1 - Babies can not consent to their photo being shared online.
2 - We have no idea how the platforms we share our babies photos on use that photo. For example, Facebook literally has a database of faces and every upload there is scanned into this. Do we trust giant companies like FB and Reddit to do what’s best with the pictures of our kids?
3 - Who the fuck are you guys? No really, as awesome and supportive this sub is, as well as other subs, I don’t know a single one of you IRL and don’t think strangers online need to see pictures of someone so vulnerable and fresh into this world.

Daddit is a rare baby sub that allows images to be shared, a lot of other subs do not allow this for the reasons above plus some. If you’re going to share photos of your baby online, think twice about it and ask yourself if it’s worth it.

Maybe I’m in the minority though, what do you guys think?

I'm the SAHD of three (8/6/3). I take care of 95% of parenting and household tasks. My 24/7 life is being there for my wife and my kids. This summer, I froze my gym membership. We have no help, even with the two older kids doing various summer activities, I had at minimum one child with me all the time. My wife works. I was able to give up drinking cold turkey four months ago and change my diet and lose 30 pounds.

School started up again, I finally got to go back to the gym again (literally the one thing I do exclusively for me, alone, during a window in the morning when all three kids are in school and my wife is at work). My wife gets to work out whenever she wants (although she very often doesn't go at all). My wife has been on me about losing weight, eating better, being healthier.

One year when I gave up drinking for two weeks, I bought flavored seltzer water and I was criticized for spending money on that (it was literally $1 for a huge bottle of seltzer). I've been criticized for not working out, for eating badly, for being overweight.

So of course the weekend was all about my wife and kids, not a shred of an actual personal break or activity for me. Monday I have to run two very important errands for my wife on opposite sides of town, so not gym.

Cut to this morning. I'm getting the kids ready for school, trying to get them out the door, we're already five minutes late, my wife calls our 6 y/o over to spell a word at the table. Wrong moment, but I said nothing. I let them do it. I kept getting our 3 y/o ready.

Finally getting all three kids out the door when my wife goes into one of the kids' bedrooms and discovers that last night while she was at a work event in the evening, the kids were playing with this one toy puzzle that was in the master bedroom that has these plastic puzzle pieces that are now strewn all over the floor.

So my wife gets irritated about this, lets me know and tells me to pick up all the puzzle pieces and put the toy back together and to do this, and I quote, "Instead of going to the gym."

It's been almost 6 1/2 years since I became the full-time stay at home parent. That was when my middle was a newborn. But I can't go to the gym.

I can completely see why people with small kids up and leave and get divorced.

So my son’s been biting some of the kids at school, couple of note home from the teacher to let us know about it. He’s not in trouble because it’s only been a couple times so far.

How do we get him through this biting phase? What do we tell him to help him move through it quicker?

Hi. Novice dad here. Does anyone have tips for labeling bottles? Our daycare requires us to label each bottle and lid with our son's name, and the bottles themselves with his name and the current date.

We were writing on tape and then putting the tape on the bottles but, as you can imagine, that was very time consuming and frustrating to deal with the tape sticking to itself and having to take it off to wash them, etc.

I recently bought some "Pumpkin Doodle" bottle sleeves from Amazon that you write on with a dry erase marker but the marker barely works and wipes off easily. Honestly, trying to get the marker to work was even more frustrating and time consuming than the tape.

One thing I have done is just write his name in permanent marker, because that's not going to change from day to day, but I still need a solution for writing the date.

Can some veteran dads please help me out here?

We went to the grandparents old folks home over the weekend for a visit. While in the dining hall, my kids were getting antsy and running around. (5 and 1). And as one was on the floor and the other was toddling I overheard this 80+ couple.

The guy said to his wife with the biggest most nostalgic smile “remember when our kids were that small?”

Since this was a memory unit - I’m not sure his wife responded accordingly but I could tell he was living in a reverie for a moment.

I’ve been thinking about those words at that age when the kiddos are rambunctious.

I’m not taking this off at all today, sometimes I need the reminder of why I’m back in school. Hope you all have a great day!

I need help. I've been so angry lately and it comes off towards my kids sometimes. It has to stop, and it needed to stop a while ago. I've only recently realized how bad it has been. I'm starting therapy soon, but I also need anything else that can help. Books, podcasts, specific things you do to help, anything please.

Hey dads, first time dad of an 8 month old here. We are experiencing a lot restless nights with her right now…teething and hitting a ton of milestones back to back (although she does rip off the occasional sleep thru the night).

Over the last couple months I definitely feel like I’ve really struggled to fall and stay asleep. Early on I could go right back to bed after resettling her, but now I just lay wide awake or sleep super shallow all night. I don’t feel overly worried about her or anything.

I have great sleep hygiene. Dark cold room, go to bed at the same time, wake up close to the same time every morning. I put my phone away at least 30 minutes prior.

What can I do, I’m going crazy!

We're expecting our second child on March 2025.
Our son is currently 1y 9mon and I've managed to go to the gym in the evening after his sleepytime, and it has been working pretty well. However, I understand that it probably won't be possible when the second child arrives.

How hard was it to schedule workouts after having a second child?

Should I just admit that going to an actual gym is going to be pretty much impossible and get a good set of adjustable dumbbells and a foldable adjustable bench? I love hitting the gym, and home workouts don't give me the same feeling, but it's still better than nothing.

There is a gym with childcare near to my home but idk.. I'd still rather workout while the kids are asleep so I won't be missing out of the 3-4 hours I have with them daily.

I've been trying to do the dishes all morning but every time I stand up to go to the sink, I have a tiny hand grab my trouser leg followed by "Daddy! Come on!"

I have things I need to do. The kitchen and the living room are right next to each other, she can see me right there. I'm really trying here but it's draining me mentally

So we had our 2nd kid 3.5 months ago, my wife is still touched out anytime I want a hug or godforbid anything sexual.

But she always is requesting massages and head rubs which I have only just recently denied, 1 part is cause I have arthritis in my hands and work a physical job, which I'd normally push through but the 2nd part is I'm starting to feel resentful for things being so one sided in that department, I can't get any physical touch or massage for pains I'm having

Am I being a bitch or what am I meant to feel here?

Hey dads.....quick question.

So my boy is about to be 13. He's doing what seems like the normal teen transition. A little more moody, less little kid, but he's still a super kind and smart human. I'm proud of his tender heart and his whit. He's never been a huge sports kid, but loves building and all that.

Lots of firsts. New middle school. Finally got a phone. And at this new school, his best friends have ended up being the anarchist kid and the trans kid. So.....this is concerning to me. Not because the anarchist kid is a bad guy. He's probably on the spectrum, lost his father in an accident a year ago. He's going through a lot. Trans kid is nice, but his parents are very weird, and the kid is just drama (I also suspect a potential crush on my son that my boy seems very unaware is a possibility).

My little dude is empathetic and kind, so he is happy to be there for these guys. The problem is, it's pigeon holeing him in the school, affecting his reputation, and also starting to make his middle school experience very difficult. You begin to really imprint on the people that you consider your friends at this age.....and this is not a group of winners. They are a group of emotionally broken needy kids being raised in rough situations. The kids deserve help.....I don't want my boy to be collateral damage.

Any thoughts here? Anyone been through anything similar? I'm looking at putting him in some activities to widen his social circle to be sure, but any other strategies that don't involve being an insane parent?

Per title.

For anyone wondering, I want to ask the dads specifically. I know this might not be the right spot Mc if so, please remove it.

Hello everyone, I’m reaching out for some advice on something that’s been on my mind lately—something I never thought I’d experience as a young man in my early 20s.

For the past few months, I’ve been having what people call "baby fever." I used to work as a photographer, and I did a lot of school portraits. Being around those sweet, innocent kids, I couldn’t help but start thinking about what it would be like to have a little one of my own someday. To be clear, this isn’t in any strange or inappropriate way; it’s just the idea of raising a child and being called "dad" that has really stuck with me.

That said, I know I’m not ready for that yet. I’m still young, with plenty to figure out, but it has made me think—when is the right time to start seriously considering having kids? Is it normal to feel this way as a guy in his early 20s?

I’ve talked to my uncle about this since we’ve always been close, and I’ve been told I act the most like him in the family. He got married early and told me that the feeling of wanting a family never really went away. He said it’s normal to feel it, and that it’s all about timing and when you feel truly ready.

At the moment, I have a stable job and my own home. My parents are happy and doing well, and I feel like I could provide for a family if the time came. But the urge to experience that feeling of being called “daddy” and having a little human of my own is really strong. However, I know I should wait until I’m truly ready.

For those who’ve experienced this, how did you manage those feelings? Is there any advice on how to reduce "baby fever" until the right time? I want to be able to focus on my current life and not rush into anything too soon.

When did you feel ready to take the step into parenthood? Did anyone else have baby fever at a young age, or am I just overthinking this?

Creg

Gotta protect the goods! 🤣

I pick my daughter up from school. Today, we had a doctor appointment. We had a long wait, so my daughter and I read together in the waiting room, she got a treat and she even got to color! We talked together and interacted. The next thing I know, there is a woman in the door next to me and asks if my daughter could have a treat. By the time we'd gotten called back, the woman who had given my daughter a treat was talking about her horrible kids, especially the no-good sons-in-law. She kept telling my daughter what a nice daddy she has.

It took me a minute to have some downtime to review and I realized that since we just had so much fun and just had a real relationship that we were approachable and fun. And that we were unique! No! We just love each other and feel comfortable together. It's a beautiful thing to see happen and I'm glad my daughter is a best friend of mine.

I remembered a story back when i was a teenager, i think that story shaped a lot of feelings how i feel towards my dad as an adult, and i want to know what other dads think of it.

It wasn't the fact that he cheated, but "how" he cheated, it was really a pathetic way; I remember i was looking out the window at 2am in the morning, i saw the door of my dad's car moving so i panicked and thought it was a thief, i quickly went out to check and when i reached the car, and opened the door, it was my dad on the backseat talking on his phone, i knew that he was talking to another woman because when i was a child he often talked to other women on the phone in front of me, thinking "i'm too young to realize" and "i won't remember anything when i grow up" , he was wrong.

That shattered every bit of respect i had for him, man it was really a pathetic and beta way to cheat on your wife, what the hell are you doing as a 56 yo man, at 2am in the cold morning hiding in the backseat of your car just to talk to another woman on the phone ? i would have much more respect for him if i just discovered he took her to dinner or something like that.

When I came back home, my mom was awake, and she asked me what my dad was doing in his car that late at night. I told her it was my mistake—I accidentally spilled coffee in the car and forgot to clean it, so my dad was cleaning it for me. A very stupid lie and perhaps i shouldn't have lied, but I was young and dumb, and i didn't want to make my dad look really bad in front of her. I could see she wasn't convinced, but she went back to sleep.

Sometimes i force myself to think it's none of my business, and that my father is like any other guy, he has urges, but duuuuuude that was so so pathetic XD, i wish i slept early that night.

Any dads out there with experience going into behavioral therapy? Our nearly 6 yo has been losing her shit every 2nd or 3rd day to the point that mom and I have been going to couples therapy to learn how to deal with it.

Fortunately, mom and I are super solid and have done a good job having each others backs, but at one point in our last session our therapist said we needed to consider it because the kind of meltdowns our kiddo is running into are beyond normal for her age.

Now to be clear, I consider myself part of the solution to the stigma of getting help for mental health issues. Mom and I haven been I counseling for a myriad of reasons, such as anxiety or just working out communication skills. Still, I have to admit, there’s still a little part of me that feels like if I was better at being a dad we wouldn’t be having these issues.

I’m just so sad about it. She goes on these tears for 30+ minutes, hitting, swearing, and just being so damn mean, and when she finally calms down, she’s sobbing and saying she’s the worst kid ever. No kid should feel like that. I try and cuddle her and reassure her I still love her and always will, but hearing her say that cuts me to the core! I try as hard as I can when she’s in the thick of it not to shame or do anything that would make her feel guilty, but I must be missing something.

Anyway, all this to say, I’ll be calling the number we got from our pediatrician tomorrow, and I’m just hoping someone can give me some idea what to expect?

Find your local D2 or D3 college and go. If they love football or soccer or field hockey or whatever the going to the game and seeing it live matters way more than the caliber of play.

Additionally, those games go faster because there's no our very few media commitments and commercial breaks built into the game.

Most of all, many times they are free to attend or cost just a nominal fee. There's also the added benefit of getting out into the community more too.

Take the little one and go support your local. Have fun

A question for weed smoking parents; would you allow your child to smoke?

Would you allow them to smoke weed once they're in their teens? Would you stray them away from it because of the possible issues? Would you supply them so you know their source? If not, would you ask who their source is and see if it's okay?

My son is 5, I'm a weed smoker. I'ma probably quit in the future for my own benefit but I'ma also always support it for what it is.

I have awhile until my son becomes a teenager and even possibly thinks about trying it, so things could be different then for everybody. I'm just wondering what people think about this now.

I hope everyone in your lives is healthy, safe and alive. Let's have a positive conversation!

My 9 year old has been very hesitant with baseball. This is his first year with kids pitching is rightly terrifying and because he didn’t express interest until now, he is several years behind his peers in experience.

Tonight he got a 2 hit RBI, which won the game. The coach gave him the ball afterwards and he’s been carrying it around all night. As a dad, it’s great to see him so proud. I’m sure proud of him.

Just wanted to share.

I’m desperately in need of some outside perspective.

Some context: I’ve been working from home full time since 2020, also the year my son began kindergarten while my wife has to be at work 5 days a week. So I’ve been the one with them at the bus stop, picking them up from school, taking them to their sports and other activities, doctor and dentist appointments and so on. I’m also usually the one making dinner during the week (and at least helping on weekends if not also cooking then too) and try not to fall back on takeout or convenience food more than twice a week. On the weekends I’ll try to spend time playing with them in-between getting the endless chores done. Sometimes that’s playing video games together and sometimes that’s playing ball outside or going somewhere. So taken all together I spend a lot more time engaged with them over the course of a week.

So the issue I’m looking for help with is that my kids clearly favor me over my wife. It started out small, but it’s become more pronounced recently and it’s clearly hurting her inside. It’s led to some fights between us over the years which have grown more heated the worse the favoring got.

I’m trying my best to present each side’s POV fairly…

From her perspective, she feels like they prefer me because she’s forced to be the disciplinarian, enforcing the rules while I get to be the fun parent who lets them get away with whatever they want. I disagree with that premise, I’ve had to break up fights, set boundaries and enforce rules during all those times I am with the kids before and after school at home or in the car. I’m not the yelling type so that’ll more often take the form of speaking clearly and firmly and warning them about the consequences of whatever it is they are doing (or not doing).

From my perspective, they prefer me because I spend more time with them and engage with them on the stuff they’re interested in while my wife, even on weekends when everyone is home, doesn’t make the effort to engage. She’s also quicker to yell or otherwise lose her cool when it comes to enforcing rules/boundaries which leads to them seeing her as the stricter/meaner parent even if she and I are ultimately enforcing the same rules.

We’ll each point to examples of how the other’s approach isn’t working, Any attempt to defend myself turns into accusation of me setting her up to be the Bad Parent. And at this point we’re both so deep into this fight that we can’t seem to figure out a solution but the status quo is more painful for her so I don’t want to just keep things as they are.

Appreciate all perspectives, and if I’m the asshole here I can accept that too, just hoping to figure out how to move things forward.

I had a headache growing all day. It thankfully let me get through work, but basically as soon as I finished and walked upstairs (I work remote) I crashed on the couch with the worst headache I've had in years. My wife planned on going out for some girl time with our daughter (shopping for "fall" things and drinking pumpkin spice). I insisted she go, and that I can handle our boys even with the headache. Before she left I took some meds, showered and then sat on the couch. The boys had just finished homework and I usually make dinner every night, but I obviously wasn't feeling it. Told the boys it was left-over night and after they got themselves some dinner I'd planned to just let them play on their Switches for a bit.

As they're getting their dinner, I fell asleep on the couch and woke up an hour later to my oldest shushing his brother and saying "hurry!". I look around and our living room that had been an absolute disaster before I fell asleep was now almost spotless. They're running around putting the last couple things away.

My headache was much better, but still there. Before I could get myself off the couch, they took out the kitchen garbage, emptied the dishwasher and cleaned their room. The whole time they're caring for me, asking if I needed anything, saying they're sorry that my head hurts and that they hope I feel better soon.

Today they decided to take care of me when I felt like shit instead of their usual ignore me the first 3-4 times I ask them to do something, jump on me like I'm a goomba and they're an Italian plumber, or run around the house screaming to test the acoustics of each room of the house.

Big things are great, big trips, new experiences and all that, but sometimes it’s the simple things in your daily life that your kids remember and come back to put a smile on your face later. Not the trips to Disneyland, not beach trips, mountain trips wherever trips. Not those in themselves. It’s the things you do while you’re there, and those things can be done from anywhere, even home. Say yes to your kid, do what they want you to do. If you go somewhere new, do something worth remembering. If it’s your tenth time there, try to find a new way to have fun.

When you’re at home and they say “throw me again dad”, and your shoulder’s been hurting since before they were born, throw them again. If they want to play with the dog together, play with the dog. Put the phone down, stop worrying about whatever it is that’s got you all up in your head and just do the thing they wanted. Play rough with the dog for a minute, toss them a 4th time even though it was supposed to only be “one time”. That’s the stuff they remember. Thats the stuff that will put a smile on their face in 20 years. In 40 years.

Give them a reason to start a sentence with “My favorite dad story is…”

Hello I’m a 28M with a stay at home wife 27F. I work from 8am-4:30pm and try to give my 2 year old most of my time when I get home. I love my little family and I’m very helpful and attentive to my wife’s and daughters needs. Lately I’ve been feeling guilty because sometimes I want to be alone and play video games/ turn off my brain & relax among other things. I feel guilty when I want to do things alone without them in general.

Is there a way to re wire my brain to not feel this way?

Dad's, I feel like I'm losing my mind. Kiddo is gonna be 4 soon. She's always been a pretty good sleeper, never had too many issues. Usually we put her to bed every night with a couple of books and then hold her while singing and then put her down in her bed.

Never had any issues until about... 4 days ago. Suddenly, she jolts up the second we put her down and starts crying that she doesn't wanna be left alone. She can be stone cold out and she just INSTANTLY wakes up. I try convincing her to let us just sit there while she's in bed to go asleep but she keeps opening her eyes to make sure we're there. She comes up with every reason under the sun why she can't sleep in her bed. I'm currently typing this waiting for her to fall asleep and I know it's not going to happen.

Weve asked if she's afraid of something. Nope. If she's sick. Nope. She's giving us nothing except "she doesn't wanna be lonely" but she's refusing to try taking a stuffy to sleep with her. I feel like I'm losing my mind with these sudden sleep issues.

Please tell me this will end.

My wife and I went in 11 days ago to what should have been our 7 week ultrasound. The doctor didn’t see a heartbeat, but did see a yolk sac. Full post here: https://www.reddit.com/r/daddit/s/vHNzKLQTOh.

She said it could either be too early, or signs of a miscarriage. Knowing our dates weren’t off, we planned for the worst but kept some hope that we were wrong. She ordered HCG tests which showed my wife’s levels increasing within 48 hours but not doubling. Apparently that’s ok since she’s further along?

Fast forward to today, we go in for a follow up and the doctor sees a fetal pole but still no heartbeat. At this point she tells us it meets the criteria for a “failed early pregnancy” and suggests we get a D&C. We agree and are told they’ll call to schedule. As we’re leaving the doctor stops us and asks if the somogrpaher can do another ultrasound with her “better” equipment. We agree, because we’d rather be sure. So after some time the doctor comes back and the somographer is showing her what she thinks is a heartbeat and saying that the baby is measuring 6 weeks. She’s telling us that our dates are just off but is it really possible for us to be off by almost 3 weeks? Obviously the pregnancy has progressed from yolk sac to fetal pole, but I can’t help but think we’re just getting our hopes up to be further crushed later.

At this point, we’re back in this unknown state and I can’t take this uncertainty for another week. Anyone have anything similar?

I work in Logistics and the first few years were good enough. It wasn't until I became a supervisor, that I realized I hate my job. I dread going to work, not because the work is difficult/stressful, but because nothing changes and I'm tired of trying when 90% of our managers don't care.

I've been thinking of taking IT certification courses so I could possibly get a work from home job, but I'm worried it won't pay won't be there. I'm not making great money, but I'm worried of taking a pay cut.

I've also thought of taking the courses and licensing to become a locksmith, but I don't know a damn thing about it.

I've been applying to other companies thinking of staying in the same field of work, but the one I've been hoping to work for gave me an offer, but didn't realize I wanted 1st shift and said they would call when one opened up, but that's been 6 months, and I know they're hiring, because they just built a new building, but I haven't heard anything.

Any advice would be appreciated.