/r/infertility
Welcome to /r/infertility, a fantastic community that exists for shitty reasons. We're here for everyone, of all genders, who are dealing with primary or secondary infertility, social infertility, pregnancy loss after infertility, and/or recurrent loss. This is the place to be when it feels like everyone is easily pregnant, except you. We operate in cynical, compassionate mutual support, underpinned by evidence-based medicine.
Sub rules are published here and listed below:
Participation This sub is for people with medical infertility (defined as actively TTC for 12+ mo if <35 yo or 6+ mo if 35+ yo) or social infertility. People with RPL, genetic reasons for ART, or who are unable to try unassisted are welcome. If doing fertility preservation you may participate while in active treatment. Those who are infertile and pregnant, or have an LC but are not TTC, may participate on the sub in a support role only. No infertility speculation is allowed.
Mention of Pregnancy Mention of one's OWN pregnancy outside the Results thread is against the rules. All discussion and mentions of pregnancy outside the Results thread will be removed. Asking for success stories is NOT allowed. Venting about someone else's pregnancy is allowed. Mentions of confirmed Pregnancy/Infant Loss, Stillbirth, TFMR, and/or negative results are allowed.
Mention of Children Mentions of prior success/living children (LC) are not allowed. Step- or other children in the household who are parented by you/your partner likewise may not be mentioned. Discussion of other people's children is allowed.
Be Compassionate Infertility is stressful and it is easier to step on people’s toes than you might think. Please consider the emotional state of others during discussion here. Venting, jealousy, and bitterness are to be expected. There will be cursing. If you see a post that breaks any of our rules or is troublesome to you please use the report button. Let's all help keep this a safe, supportive community. Personal attacks or threats are not tolerated.
Inappropriate Acronyms or Language The AutoModerator will flag these. Infertility is not cute and therefore cutesy acronyms (BD, DH, Embies, follies, etc) are banned. Here is the list of banned terms. Do NOT report terms that you wish were banned. Let the AutoMod take care of it.
Solicitation or Research Participation No solicitations will be allowed for monetary or medication donations. Requests for participation in research, surveys, documentaries, etc. most receive mod approval prior to posting. Active, contributing members may post links to their personal blogs with in reason.
Requests for how to find discounted/free medications, grants, and other means of making treatment more affordable are allowed. Posts by members who want to donate their leftover meds to others here are allowed.
Wrong Thread - Off Topic Our sub operates by having multiple safe spaces to receive support. Posts made in the wrong thread will be removed. Review the description on each Community Thread prior to posting.
Sharing Unused Medications
You may be considering sharing your unused medication with others to help them save on treatment expenses. However, it may be illegal in your country or state to donate medication without going through an intermediary. We suggest you research your local laws and understand your personal risks associated with donating or receiving medications. Please consider attempting to give any unopened medications to your infertility practice; some clinics have give-back programs.
Crossposting
No crossposting infertility sub posts to subs outside of the infertility family (see related communities)! Crossposts in to the sub will be queued for moderator approval before appearing.
Have a question? Check out our FAQ/Wiki which contain helpful posts about what to ask at your first RE appointment, common abbreviations used, and much more.
Related Communities:
/r/infertility
Our community threads are the heart of our subreddit and operate much like a specialized support group – we share our experiences and strive to collectively support one another on the topic at hand.
Please use this space for sharing and discussing any type of treatment, trying to conceive, or family building measures. This includes, but is not limited to:
Essentially, if you mention treatment, TTC, or family building measures – it goes in this thread.
A few notes:
Above all - Science minded perspective and respect for others is important here. Please treat your fellow peers with compassion.
Please set up user flair which includes information on your age, diagnosis, treatment status, and current status. Not only does it help us to get to know one another, it helps us with context when it comes to replying to one another’s comments or queries. For example, you may give different advice to someone who’s 23 with PCOS doing their first IUI than you would someone who’s 40 with DOR doing IVF. The unsolicited mentions of children/success rule includes flair - keep success/pregnancy mentions out of your flair. Acronyms are especially common in user flair. You can find the not-so-secret decoder ring here.
If a user has flair that describes a successful pregnancy, or banned terms/emoji's/acronyms, you have three options: politely ask the user to change their flair, anonymously report a comment by the user to the mods and explain that you are reporting due to flair - this will bring it to the mods queue, or send a modmail with the username and why you believe the flair should be changed.
We discourage the use of "TTC #" in user flair for all users. The sub supports members with primary and secondary infertility and feel that the same guidance should apply to all members. We discourage pain olympics regardless of how many children you have or are trying to conceive.
The flair can be set to only show on this sub.
Browser To set flair you can login to the sub on a browser. On the right-hand side on the main page (you can't be in a post, like this one) you will see "community options". Once you click on that you will see "user flair preview" and a pencil icon to edit. In old reddit, it's still there, but much less obvious, under the subscribe and member counts.
Mobile If you are using a mobile app look for the three dots in the right-hand corner. From there you can select "change user flair" and select it and press edit in the top right corner. If that doesn't work, you can open the sub in a browser on your mobile device and get the browser experience. There is a lot of trouble with flair set on mobile apps, they often don't stick around. Then you need to open a browser on your mobile, and often activate the desktop version in your browser and follow the instructions above for browser.
--MORE detailed step by step description for setting up flair you can find here in the wiki of r/TryingForABaby--
If the instruction's did not work you can ask a mod to set/change your flair.
This thread is a dedicated space to those of us who are actively pursuing or seeking information on donor infertility treatments. This can be donor egg, sperm or gamete/embryo adoption, same sex couples using donors, donor IUI or IVF, and double donor discussion are all welcome here. This discussion is not to imply these resolutions are the right fit for every person or family or that these solutions are simple, easy, or obvious. This is also not to imply that these discussions are limited to this thread, but an effort to carve out a unique space for individuals to collaborate, commiserate, and learn.
Please keep in mind that members participating here have not come to consider the choice of donor gametes (egg, sperm, or embryo) lightly. The choice to consider or pursue donor gametes is personal and can be dependent on many factors. Comments expressing unsolicited advice or judgement will be removed per our Be Compassionate rule.
** In this thread you may seek support only for confirmed losses - that does not include speculation of pregnancy loss, nor cycles in which an embryo is transferred but does not implant. If you suspect a loss and/or have not received confirmation from your doctor, then you must post in the Weekly Results Thread until confirmed **
This thread is a dedicated space for members of r/infertility experiencing a confirmed loss – be it a blighted ovum/anembryonic pregnancy, chemical, ectopic, molar, miscarriage, stillbirth, TFMR, or infant death. This is the space to come together and find support as you grieve, away from the maelstrom of treatment. This is not to imply that these discussions are not allowed in the treatment thread, but is a focused effort to give an additional space to our members grieving a loss. We have many spaces you can discuss a confirmed loss, but we created this space so you don't have to post where it might be hard to.
Please use this space to vent, cry, talk about how you’re coping, share your loss experience, and ask specific questions pertaining to your loss (either resolved or ongoing). Our rules around mentions of pregnancy, children, and prior success still apply in this thread.
Above all - Science minded perspective and respect for others is important here. Please treat your fellow peers with compassion.
If you are looking for further specialized support, we recommend you explore the following communities (their wikis include helpful posts on resolving your loss via multiple methods, coping with your loss, ways for you to honor your grief, and much more):
Our community threads are the heart of our subreddit and operate much like a specialized support group – we share our experiences and strive to collectively support one another on the topic at hand.
Please use this space for sharing and discussing any type of treatment, trying to conceive, or family building measures. This includes, but is not limited to:
Essentially, if you mention treatment, TTC, or family building measures – it goes in this thread.
A few notes:
Above all - Science minded perspective and respect for others is important here. Please treat your fellow peers with compassion.
*** Comments mentioning anything related to treatment, trying to conceive, or family building measures in this thread will be removed via our OFF TOPIC rule. Consider if you were taking a break from treatment because you were exhausted and sad - treatment (yes anything related to it) goes in treatment ***
Coping with infertility is complex, and it is our imperative to create places where we can honor the distinctly unique needs created by infertility. Sit beside us and share what’s on your mind and going on in your life. This is a great place to get to know your fellow members outside the gravity of treatment. Discussion here includes, but is not limited to:
Example of the difference between the Treatment and Chat Thread:
Comments for the Treatment Thread
Comments for the Chat Thread
A few notes:
Above all - Science minded perspective and respect for others is important here. Please treat your fellow peers with compassion.
Last reminder - this is the CHAT thread. Not the place to discuss anything focused on treatment, TTC, or family building measures.
Our community threads are the heart of our subreddit and operate much like a specialized support group – we share our experiences and strive to collectively support one another on the topic at hand.
Please use this space for sharing and discussing any type of treatment, trying to conceive, or family building measures. This includes, but is not limited to:
Essentially, if you mention treatment, TTC, or family building measures – it goes in this thread.
A few notes:
Above all - Science minded perspective and respect for others is important here. Please treat your fellow peers with compassion.
** In this thread you may seek support only for confirmed losses - that does not include speculation of pregnancy loss, nor cycles in which an embryo is transferred but does not implant. If you suspect a loss and/or have not received confirmation from your doctor, then you must post in the Weekly Results Thread until confirmed **
This thread is a dedicated space for members of r/infertility experiencing a confirmed loss – be it a blighted ovum/anembryonic pregnancy, chemical, ectopic, molar, miscarriage, stillbirth, TFMR, or infant death. This is the space to come together and find support as you grieve, away from the maelstrom of treatment. This is not to imply that these discussions are not allowed in the treatment thread, but is a focused effort to give an additional space to our members grieving a loss. We have many spaces you can discuss a confirmed loss, but we created this space so you don't have to post where it might be hard to.
Please use this space to vent, cry, talk about how you’re coping, share your loss experience, and ask specific questions pertaining to your loss (either resolved or ongoing). Our rules around mentions of pregnancy, children, and prior success still apply in this thread.
Above all - Science minded perspective and respect for others is important here. Please treat your fellow peers with compassion.
If you are looking for further specialized support, we recommend you explore the following communities (their wikis include helpful posts on resolving your loss via multiple methods, coping with your loss, ways for you to honor your grief, and much more):
Our community threads are the heart of our subreddit and operate much like a specialized support group – we share our experiences and strive to collectively support one another on the topic at hand.
Please use this space for sharing and discussing any type of treatment, trying to conceive, or family building measures. This includes, but is not limited to:
Essentially, if you mention treatment, TTC, or family building measures – it goes in this thread.
A few notes:
Above all - Science minded perspective and respect for others is important here. Please treat your fellow peers with compassion.
*** Comments mentioning anything related to treatment, trying to conceive, or family building measures in this thread will be removed via our OFF TOPIC rule. Consider if you were taking a break from treatment because you were exhausted and sad - treatment (yes anything related to it) goes in treatment ***
Coping with infertility is complex, and it is our imperative to create places where we can honor the distinctly unique needs created by infertility. Sit beside us and share what’s on your mind and going on in your life. This is a great place to get to know your fellow members outside the gravity of treatment. Discussion here includes, but is not limited to:
Example of the difference between the Treatment and Chat Thread:
Comments for the Treatment Thread
Comments for the Chat Thread
A few notes:
Above all - Science minded perspective and respect for others is important here. Please treat your fellow peers with compassion.
Last reminder - this is the CHAT thread. Not the place to discuss anything focused on treatment, TTC, or family building measures.
When you had positive results - you don’t need to leave the sub completely. We encourage members to stay – but in a supportive role!
Click 'view table' on mobile:
For a comprehensive Beta database, check out http://www.betabase.info/ for more information on beta based on DPO (DPO = days post transfer + 3, or 5 day embryo; DPO = Days post Insemination for IUI). |
---|
Further info: Human chorionic gonadotropin as a predictor of outcome in assisted reproductive technology pregnancies |
Radiopaedia on Fetal bradycardia |
Normal Ranges of Embryonic Length, Embryonic Heart Rate PDF! |
You may be interested in posting at /r/whatworkedforme.
You are always encouraged to share your non-pregnancy-related infertility experiences with people asking questions on the sub and continue to support other community members here on r/infertility
Our community threads are the heart of our subreddit and operate much like a specialized support group – we share our experiences and strive to collectively support one another on the topic at hand.
Please use this space for sharing and discussing any type of treatment, trying to conceive, or family building measures. This includes, but is not limited to:
Essentially, if you mention treatment, TTC, or family building measures – it goes in this thread.
A few notes:
Above all - Science minded perspective and respect for others is important here. Please treat your fellow peers with compassion.
** In this thread you may seek support only for confirmed losses - that does not include speculation of pregnancy loss, nor cycles in which an embryo is transferred but does not implant. If you suspect a loss and/or have not received confirmation from your doctor, then you must post in the Weekly Results Thread until confirmed **
This thread is a dedicated space for members of r/infertility experiencing a confirmed loss – be it a blighted ovum/anembryonic pregnancy, chemical, ectopic, molar, miscarriage, stillbirth, TFMR, or infant death. This is the space to come together and find support as you grieve, away from the maelstrom of treatment. This is not to imply that these discussions are not allowed in the treatment thread, but is a focused effort to give an additional space to our members grieving a loss. We have many spaces you can discuss a confirmed loss, but we created this space so you don't have to post where it might be hard to.
Please use this space to vent, cry, talk about how you’re coping, share your loss experience, and ask specific questions pertaining to your loss (either resolved or ongoing). Our rules around mentions of pregnancy, children, and prior success still apply in this thread.
Above all - Science minded perspective and respect for others is important here. Please treat your fellow peers with compassion.
If you are looking for further specialized support, we recommend you explore the following communities (their wikis include helpful posts on resolving your loss via multiple methods, coping with your loss, ways for you to honor your grief, and much more):
Our community threads are the heart of our subreddit and operate much like a specialized support group – we share our experiences and strive to collectively support one another on the topic at hand.
Please use this space for sharing and discussing any type of treatment, trying to conceive, or family building measures. This includes, but is not limited to:
Essentially, if you mention treatment, TTC, or family building measures – it goes in this thread.
A few notes:
Above all - Science minded perspective and respect for others is important here. Please treat your fellow peers with compassion.
*** Comments mentioning anything related to treatment, trying to conceive, or family building measures in this thread will be removed via our OFF TOPIC rule. Consider if you were taking a break from treatment because you were exhausted and sad - treatment (yes anything related to it) goes in treatment ***
Coping with infertility is complex, and it is our imperative to create places where we can honor the distinctly unique needs created by infertility. Sit beside us and share what’s on your mind and going on in your life. This is a great place to get to know your fellow members outside the gravity of treatment. Discussion here includes, but is not limited to:
Example of the difference between the Treatment and Chat Thread:
Comments for the Treatment Thread
Comments for the Chat Thread
A few notes:
Above all - Science minded perspective and respect for others is important here. Please treat your fellow peers with compassion.
Last reminder - this is the CHAT thread. Not the place to discuss anything focused on treatment, TTC, or family building measures.
Hey all, Happy Friday! Care to join our virtual dinner party? The workweek is done for many, come hang out with all the lovely humans that join this community,
Tell us, what are you eating tonight? Is it take out or did you painstakingly recreate a Pinterest perfect meal?
What is your **distraction** this evening? Everyone has a project or show to share.
Our community threads are the heart of our subreddit and operate much like a specialized support group – we share our experiences and strive to collectively support one another on the topic at hand.
Please use this space for sharing and discussing any type of treatment, trying to conceive, or family building measures. This includes, but is not limited to:
Essentially, if you mention treatment, TTC, or family building measures – it goes in this thread.
A few notes:
Above all - Science minded perspective and respect for others is important here. Please treat your fellow peers with compassion.
This thread is a dedicated space for those that are pursuing adoption, foster care or foster-to-adopt as a way to grow your family - while dealing with infertility. This discussion is not to imply these paths are the right fit for every person or family or that any of these are simple, easy, or obvious. This is also not to imply that these discussions are limited to this thread, but an effort to carve out a unique space for individuals to collaborate, commiserate, and learn.
We are approaching this thread with a slightly relaxed approach to ongoing “success” as the foster/adopt scenario is a tricky situation. Discussing the process may sometimes includes discussions of the children but including conversations of daily life with the children is not appropriate here. What is allowed is discussion of feelings around bonding/reunification. Essentially, try to mention the ongoing situation with children in neutral terms as we strive to maintain this space for all members.
Resources for folks pursuing adoption:
Please keep in mind that members participating here have not come to consider the choice of adoption and fostering lightly. This choice is personal and can be dependent on many factors. Comments expressing unsolicited advice or judgement will be removed per our Be Compassionate rule.
** In this thread you may seek support only for confirmed losses - that does not include speculation of pregnancy loss, nor cycles in which an embryo is transferred but does not implant. If you suspect a loss and/or have not received confirmation from your doctor, then you must post in the Weekly Results Thread until confirmed **
This thread is a dedicated space for members of r/infertility experiencing a confirmed loss – be it a blighted ovum/anembryonic pregnancy, chemical, ectopic, molar, miscarriage, stillbirth, TFMR, or infant death. This is the space to come together and find support as you grieve, away from the maelstrom of treatment. This is not to imply that these discussions are not allowed in the treatment thread, but is a focused effort to give an additional space to our members grieving a loss. We have many spaces you can discuss a confirmed loss, but we created this space so you don't have to post where it might be hard to.
Please use this space to vent, cry, talk about how you’re coping, share your loss experience, and ask specific questions pertaining to your loss (either resolved or ongoing). Our rules around mentions of pregnancy, children, and prior success still apply in this thread.
Above all - Science minded perspective and respect for others is important here. Please treat your fellow peers with compassion.
If you are looking for further specialized support, we recommend you explore the following communities (their wikis include helpful posts on resolving your loss via multiple methods, coping with your loss, ways for you to honor your grief, and much more):
Our community threads are the heart of our subreddit and operate much like a specialized support group – we share our experiences and strive to collectively support one another on the topic at hand.
Please use this space for sharing and discussing any type of treatment, trying to conceive, or family building measures. This includes, but is not limited to:
Essentially, if you mention treatment, TTC, or family building measures – it goes in this thread.
A few notes:
Above all - Science minded perspective and respect for others is important here. Please treat your fellow peers with compassion.
*** Comments mentioning anything related to treatment, trying to conceive, or family building measures in this thread will be removed via our OFF TOPIC rule. Consider if you were taking a break from treatment because you were exhausted and sad - treatment (yes anything related to it) goes in treatment ***
Coping with infertility is complex, and it is our imperative to create places where we can honor the distinctly unique needs created by infertility. Sit beside us and share what’s on your mind and going on in your life. This is a great place to get to know your fellow members outside the gravity of treatment. Discussion here includes, but is not limited to:
Example of the difference between the Treatment and Chat Thread:
Comments for the Treatment Thread
Comments for the Chat Thread
A few notes:
Above all - Science minded perspective and respect for others is important here. Please treat your fellow peers with compassion.
Last reminder - this is the CHAT thread. Not the place to discuss anything focused on treatment, TTC, or family building measures.
This year, as Americans gather round the table and say what they’re thankful for, we’ll serve up our grievances and baste those who have wronged us with scalding hot gravy. Did your aunt Louise ask you for the hundredth time when you’re having a baby? Did your second cousin bring her quadruplets and assume everyone will watch them for her? Is great uncle Todd yammering about how our reproductive rights aren’t being threatened? Tell us who besides the turkey deserves to be stuffed at your holiday table.
Our community threads are the heart of our subreddit and operate much like a specialized support group – we share our experiences and strive to collectively support one another on the topic at hand.
Please use this space for sharing and discussing any type of treatment, trying to conceive, or family building measures. This includes, but is not limited to:
Essentially, if you mention treatment, TTC, or family building measures – it goes in this thread.
A few notes:
Above all - Science minded perspective and respect for others is important here. Please treat your fellow peers with compassion.
We can’t promise there will be good food, hot coffee, or clean bathrooms, but we can promise familiar faces and old friends. A safe space for those who’ve been traveling side by side on the infertility road for years not months.
This thread is dedicated to providing a sense of stability for those who have weathered many seasons together on the sub without success. To participate, you must have been an active member of r/infertility for 18+ months. If you have a living child or children, or if you are currently experiencing success (i.e., you are pregnant or your partner or another person--e.g., a GC--is carrying a pregnancy for you), the long hauler thread is not for you.
How are you doing? Where are you at in your journey these days? This is an open-ended space to share and commiserate with other r/infertility long haulers.
COME YELL WITH US. GET IT OUT. FLIP SOME TABLES. VALIDATE OTHER PEOPLE AND THEIR EMOTIONS. FLIP MORE TABLES. YELL. RAGE.
This is safe space to let out all the repressed anger and violent thoughts as result of infertility. Caps locks and all the emojis are STRONGLY ENCOURAGED. Comments that can be construed as directed or vague personal attacks toward members are still not allowed, but the rest of the world is fair game. Everyone is allowed to vent and scream, but remember that you still aren’t shouting into a void.
This thread is a dedicated transitional space for those that are considering a childfree lifestyle as a result of infertility. Please keep in mind that members participating here have not come to consider the choice of childfree willingly or easily. The choice to consider or pursue a childfree lifestyle is very personal and can be dependent on medical, financial, emotional, or relational priorities. Choosing childfree is not "quitting" or "giving up", and responses along the lines of "don't give up" and "keep trying" are not appropriate for this thread. Members participating do not have to be done with treatment, but please keep treatment discussions to the other appropriate threads. This is also not to imply that these discussions are limited to this thread, but an effort to carve out a unique space for individuals to collaborate, commiserate, and learn.
We also recommend r/IFChildfree when members feel they are ready for the transition. Please be sure to read their rules and this post about standalones prior to any participation there. Similar to us, certain posts and topics must go in dedicated threads to ensure mutual and compassionate support is held for all members.
Unlike our other threads, this thread has the same rules as the LH thread: No comments, even supportive comments, from people currently experiencing success or with LC. There is no reason for someone in this situation to participate in a conversation about being childfree, and it's not kind or respectful.
** In this thread you may seek support only for confirmed losses - that does not include speculation of pregnancy loss, nor cycles in which an embryo is transferred but does not implant. If you suspect a loss and/or have not received confirmation from your doctor, then you must post in the Weekly Results Thread until confirmed **
This thread is a dedicated space for members of r/infertility experiencing a confirmed loss – be it a blighted ovum/anembryonic pregnancy, chemical, ectopic, molar, miscarriage, stillbirth, TFMR, or infant death. This is the space to come together and find support as you grieve, away from the maelstrom of treatment. This is not to imply that these discussions are not allowed in the treatment thread, but is a focused effort to give an additional space to our members grieving a loss. We have many spaces you can discuss a confirmed loss, but we created this space so you don't have to post where it might be hard to.
Please use this space to vent, cry, talk about how you’re coping, share your loss experience, and ask specific questions pertaining to your loss (either resolved or ongoing). Our rules around mentions of pregnancy, children, and prior success still apply in this thread.
Above all - Science minded perspective and respect for others is important here. Please treat your fellow peers with compassion.
If you are looking for further specialized support, we recommend you explore the following communities (their wikis include helpful posts on resolving your loss via multiple methods, coping with your loss, ways for you to honor your grief, and much more):
Our community threads are the heart of our subreddit and operate much like a specialized support group – we share our experiences and strive to collectively support one another on the topic at hand.
Please use this space for sharing and discussing any type of treatment, trying to conceive, or family building measures. This includes, but is not limited to:
Essentially, if you mention treatment, TTC, or family building measures – it goes in this thread.
A few notes:
Above all - Science minded perspective and respect for others is important here. Please treat your fellow peers with compassion.
*** Comments mentioning anything related to treatment, trying to conceive, or family building measures in this thread will be removed via our OFF TOPIC rule. Consider if you were taking a break from treatment because you were exhausted and sad - treatment (yes anything related to it) goes in treatment ***
Coping with infertility is complex, and it is our imperative to create places where we can honor the distinctly unique needs created by infertility. Sit beside us and share what’s on your mind and going on in your life. This is a great place to get to know your fellow members outside the gravity of treatment. Discussion here includes, but is not limited to:
Example of the difference between the Treatment and Chat Thread:
Comments for the Treatment Thread
Comments for the Chat Thread
A few notes:
Above all - Science minded perspective and respect for others is important here. Please treat your fellow peers with compassion.
Last reminder - this is the CHAT thread. Not the place to discuss anything focused on treatment, TTC, or family building measures.
Our community threads are the heart of our subreddit and operate much like a specialized support group – we share our experiences and strive to collectively support one another on the topic at hand.
Please use this space for sharing and discussing any type of treatment, trying to conceive, or family building measures. This includes, but is not limited to:
Essentially, if you mention treatment, TTC, or family building measures – it goes in this thread.
A few notes:
Above all - Science minded perspective and respect for others is important here. Please treat your fellow peers with compassion.