I know everyone is different but when I was doing research it says our fertility drops significantly at age 30. Did this play a factor in when you want to try for a baby or not? Suddenly I'm planning my whole life around this info.

Hey guys! My doctor recommended I start taking a prenatal since we're about 5 months out from TTC. I got Megafood Baby & Me 2 multivitamin and their Omega 3-6-9. It says on the website that people will pair the multivitamin with their DHA & Choline supplement. The multivitamin already has choline though so not sure why you'd need additional? It's not that important since I'm not actually pregnant yet but I want to make sure I have everything accounted for once I do become pregnant! What are yall taking for prenatals, if you're taking them? Anything I should be specifically looking out for? The multivitamin seems pretty comprehensive as far as I can tell.

Please discuss whatever you would like here! Please be mindful of the rules, particularly any TTC/NTNP announcements. Those go in the weekly thread. As does anything within one month of your start date. Thanks!

My fiancé (26M) and I (27F) are waiting too try until we move to a place with lower COL. Right now, we live in Orange County, CA and we just can’t afford raising a child properly on our income. It’s been tough getting new jobs elsewhere though so we’re pretty much stuck here until then.

I’m turning 28 in 2 weeks and I just keep thinking about how I’m getting to an age where it’ll be harder and harder to conceive. I keep thinking about that New Girl episode where they go to test their eggs and Jess’s friend (forgot her name) didn’t have a lot of eggs left or something. I know tons of women have children in their 30s but idk, its just something thats in the back of my mind all the time. That we shouldn’t wait even though I know its the responsible thing to do.

Anybody else have the same fear? How do you make yourself feel better?

My husband and I are both in our early twenties. We’re planning on taking out my IUD in January to start our ttc journey, I’ve been feeling a little alone because I think it’s pretty uncommon for people to intentionally try in their early twenties (defining that as 20-23) and I would love to know if there are any of you in this sub ❤️

Tagging NSFW just to be safe. Not sure if this is allowed but I thought it was since I’ve been waiting to try and I’m still waiting.

Our current plan is to wait until end of January to stop birth control (nuvaring) then NTNP for a while.

I’ve had terrible heartburn for a couple of weeks and it was time to remove my ring yesterday so I figured I’d test. I had taken one a couple weeks before and got a negative, but this time I got a positive on my last Clearblue early detection test. My husband was shocked and told me not to get ahead of myself or too excited until after we get more tests but I couldn’t help myself. After the initial shock, I was so excited.

There were no negative feelings, just surprise since we recently got married a little over a month ago. It was sooner than we’d planned but we were ready to make it work. We spent the whole evening talking about it and what we were gonna do, how we were going to tell people, how soon it happened, etc.

I took first response early detection test when we got home from the store and it came out negative. I waited an hour and retested. It was negative again. I woke up in the middle of the night and went ahead and tested again. Negative. I went to the store to buy another Clearblue early detection like the first one I took and it said negative.

I’ve spent the whole day wondering what happened. Why was it positive once. What happened between the 4 hours of when I first took it and when I retested. Why did this happen. Was it a fluke. Was it real.

I don’t know how to get past this surprise curveball. I don’t have anyone to talk about this with except my husband but I feel bad for making him feel bad because of how bad I feel. Sorry for the rant, just not sure what to do now except to keep waiting.

Okay. I know this is asked often but some of the threads are old and idk if formulas have changed, etc. I've just started taking a prenatal in prep to start TTC soonish. Y'all....I CANNOT. I am getting FISH BURPS and fishy aftertaste I want to die. I hate fish, I can't stand it, and getting the burps is even WORSE. I have the Nature Made Prenatals + DHA (non-orange flavored, must have purchased before they switched). It is making me burp, which sucks, and I've also got a general fishy metallic taste in my throat that reaches my tongue randomly as well.

Does anyone who is super sensitive with taste have a good suggestion on a not super expensive and preferably available in-store prenatal for me to try? Should I just try to stick with regular multivitamins and add the folic acid and any other missing stuff separately? I don't care about swallowing a horse pill, or multiple pills, gummies, etc. But if the gummy has ANY fish flavor, I will cry.

I put the bottle in the fridge for now as I've read that can help, but I'm freaking out. My little autistic ass cannot handle the FISH. It has been a few hours and still happening and I'm about to throw up. I'm going to try taking before bed and with juice as well, but UGH. Thanks!

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want a baby right now. I’m not entirely ready and I know this. But.. I wish I had the option.

I have multiple friends getting pregnant and having babies now, and I feel like if I was just in a house, now that I have a full time job, then I could have a baby if I want to!! Well we are working towards paying some debt and hopefully getting into a house next year.

I should be happy. This time last year I was in a dead end contract job that was soul sucking. Now I’m in my dream job, permanent and made my next step towards having a baby!

Anyway. I had a dream I had a baby last night and we were pretty dang happy. It was nice because all my dreams have been horrible lately, but this one was… calming? I’m not sad right now waking up to find it’s not true. I’m just.. getting closer to being ready for it.

Please discuss whatever you would like here! Please be mindful of the rules, particularly any TTC/NTNP announcements. Those go in the weekly thread. As does anything within one month of your start date. Thanks!

I’m right there with all of you who are longing to start trying. What has been one thing that’s helped you cope?

For me, doing everything in my power to remember that I’ll never have this moment again as just me and my husband reframes my mindset.

Hi, I’m new to this sub. I’m 30F, and my husband is 33M. We really want to start TTC in January 2026. We’ve been together 7 years, married for 2, and our relationship is wonderful. We've talked about having a family since early in our relationship, but baby fever has recently intensified, especially after our 2nd anniversary. While we feel emotionally and psychologically ready for a baby, I feel our finances need a bit more time to further improve.

We live in Southern California with my in-laws, who actually encouraged us to move in since my father-in-law is on disability, and they needed some help with expenses and caregiving. This worked out for us, too, as I recently made a career shift and had to start over professionally. My husband’s barista salary is lower than mine, and we both have debt from past spending to pay down, plus I’m working on my credit. 

I’ve accepted that it’ll probably take another decade of saving and promotions for us to afford a house in California, so while we’re working toward it, Baby #1 will likely arrive at our in-laws’ home. Honestly, I love my in-laws, we get along great, and genuinely like living together. The house is spacious with four bedrooms so feeling cramped isn’t an issue, and it’s in a nice, low-crime neighborhood.

I make about $60,000/year, work from home full-time, and am up for a 10% raise next summer. My husband earns $50,000 and works 9-5. After the essential expenses, the rest of our income goes toward paying down CC and student debt, so we are starting our savings fund from scratch and trying to put in $500/month. We also share one car, which will be paid off in five months, and though I love my job and it is quite stable, I wish it paid more.

It’s hard because I know I’m ready to be a mom, and my husband feels ready to be a dad. I picture our life with a baby so clearly. We often talk about starting a family, and I look at other children with such longing. We both had fun and amazing childhoods, and revel in the idea of giving a child an equally magical childhood. We have a very close-knit and large extended family who all live in SoCal and who would welcome a new baby wholeheartedly and be our "village" and the thought of delivering the good news to them makes me feel giddy. We already have so much love for this unborn, theoretical baby, and we desperately want somewhere to put it. And being 30, wanting at least 2 kids, and knowing that it can take a year or more to conceive, I do feel a bit of a biological urge to try soon.

But am I letting emotions lead me to an irresponsible decision by wanting to try for a baby soon, despite our finances needing more time to stabilize, or is there a way to feel confident starting a family without everything perfectly in place? Should we wait until we have a house first or better jobs or a larger emergency fund?

I’d love to hear your stories about how you made the decision to try for a baby even when you knew that your finances needed more time to catch up. Thank you!

We have a handful of friends and acquaintances who are all along the spectrum from TTC to pregnant to juggling multiple toddlers. They all live an hour+ away and we make the drive to see some of them about twice a month. These friends have had siblings move across the country to help out or have parents nearby. Or they have other friends who have kids around the same age. I find myself SO VERY ENVIOUS of the communities of care they have around them already.

We moved to be near my husband's job a few years ago and it's been slow going making local friends. Neither of us have family that would be able to come help out when we have a newborn (they have caregiving issues, health conditions, financial issues etc.). We'll definitely be able to afford childcare, so we're lucky on that front. But emotionally...it feels sad.

I can't help but feel like it's inevitable that my child-free-by-choice friends will abandon us and our friends with kids won't be able to come see us because of the logistics of travel. It doesn't feel like there's enough WTT time left to make friends who will want to stick with us once we disappear into frazzled new parents land. Maybe I'm just feeling extra depressed and hopeless today, but I was wondering... does anyone else feel this too?

Hi All, my husband and I are waiting a year or two to start trying. Recently, we've had relatives asking about our timeline and when we are planning to try. I don't think this is any of their business and it's awkward when they ask. We have even had people straight up ask if we are currently trying, and recently an aunt told me she heard we were trying (we aren't and I don't know why she'd think this). How would you respond in these situations? It's starting to really annoy me and stress me out! I don't understand why they seem to be so obsessed with our timeline and us ttc.

TW: miscarriage and parent illness.

Hi everybody! I'm a first-time poster here, I'm currently going through a bit of a frustrating and difficult period:

long story short, my partner (35 M) and I (27 F) decided to TTC around May of this year, we were very lucky and conceived after the second try, on June of this year.

Unfortunately we lost the pregnancy to miscarriage, found out super late because I didn't have any symptoms and the whole procedure took a lot of time so I finally got my D&C at the beginning of October and I'm now waiting for my first period to come back.

Around the same time as we discovered the pregnancy my mom found out that her breast cancer was back and is now being treated and is waiting for some genetic testing to understand if the tumor is caused by a gene mutation (BRCA 1 or 2).

Since this mutation is hereditary, if she's positive I will also have to consider getting tested before TTC again, since this mutation is genetic and you have a 50% chance of passing it to your children (no judgment here for those who choose to have kids even with this this mutation, it's a very personal choice, but I personally wouldn't risk passing it to my children).

We will get the test result at the end of November, if she's positive I'll have the 50% chance of not having it but will have to get tested and have no idea how long it will take.

On top of all of this my partner has recently received a job offer to make a career change, he would be earning significantly less for a time but with the prospect of greatly increasing his salary in the future, he's not very satisfied in the job he has at the moment but it's a good paying job ( he earns way better than me) and it's very flexible, so if we had a child in the future he would be able to be home very early in the afternoon, be with the baby, do his share of housework etc.

With this new job instead he may be earning a lot more in the future but he would be home a lot less, we would see him very little during the week and he would also be working most saturday mornings ( right now he's at home all weekend like me)

All of this to say: I can't wait to have a baby, my partner can't wait to have a baby, we would like to start trying again soon but all of the above has me (and us) wondering if it's best to simply postpone TTC for a while, if my mom test is ok and my partner chooses this new career, I think we would have to wait at least 6/8 month before our finances are again in a place that allows us to consider having a child (right now they are ok, we are in no way rich but are stable, we own our house and with some budgeting could add all the baby's expanses without an extreme financial stress).

The waiting and not knowing is very stressful, especially because we though for 3 glorious months that we would become parents on February 2025.

Sorry for the super long post, thank you if you have read this far, I think all I need is to know I'm not alone in my frustration and desire to start a family, I see all of you and hope the very best for all of us.

I was supposed to start a new job today, higher paying. But about halfway to the job I realized that I was signing up for more stress and a bad environment that I really didn’t want and decided to take a lower paying job that’s closer to home.

Now don’t get me wrong, my bills are still covered and I’ll just be putting less into savings.

The higher paying job could have gotten us closer to our goals sooner but I’m leaving an incredibly high stress position and don’t want to find myself in that same boat. My husband is okay with it, as long as I’m happier and he feels he has a partner again after I dedicated so much of my self to my previous position.

I guess I’m looking for comfort. Has anyone else had to make a decision for the good of their mental health to the detriment of their plans/goals?

Hello,

Partner & I are planning on TTC in 6ish months.

I've recently realized that it may be beneficial to focus on getting as healthy as possible between now and then as I am pretty severely overweight (300lbs at 6ft), have blood pressure issues caused by weight, and also am heavily reliant on nicotine vapes.

Never really cared too much until I realized that these are all dangers to a future baby, and that it takes time to make progress.

Anyone have experience or advice on getting healthier for the purpose of future pregnancy?

Congratulations on your graduation! Please share all graduation related chat here. Please also discuss any TTC you'd like with your fellow alumni!

Please discuss whatever you would like here! Please be mindful of the rules, particularly any TTC/NTNP announcements. Those go in the weekly thread. As does anything within one month of your start date. Thanks!

I'm 30(f), and my whole life my only real desire has been to create a happy, loving family. I never grew up in a very happy family, so this is a huge dream of mine.

However, I'm not ready yet on a practical level. I'm still sorting my own life out (career and housing, mainly). I have an amazing male partner who is extremely kind and supportive and he has a good career, but I don't want to be totally dependent on him. So I'm waiting to get a better job. This could take several months. Then we need to buy a house. In this economy, god knows how long that will take.

So, realistically, we are probably waiting at least a couple of years, if not more.

Sometimes I want a family so much it hurts. There is literally nothing else I care about that much. I've tried all the hobbies and have done all the so-called "fun" things (parties, drinking, travel, sports, going to concerts, staying up all night playing video games, hiking etc). I'm just done with all of it. I want more meaning in my life. I'm emotionally ready for kids but not practically, and it's killing me.

I’m so ready to get my IUD removed but i’ve planned that for 2027 :( In the meantime i’m gonna track myself more closely so i can have ovulation as accurate as possible so i can conceive easily.

So tomorrow my basal body temp thermometer arrives, yay! i feel like im doing something to prepare myself .

Please discuss whatever you would like here! Please be mindful of the rules, particularly any TTC/NTNP announcements. Those go in the weekly thread. As does anything within one month of your start date. Thanks!

Our limiting factor has always been being homeowners. We live rurally where rentals are few and far between, fickle and just unreliable. Buuuttt….We are closing on our forever home next weekend!!

My partner (37M) isn’t in any rush, which is nice. But I (31F) am feeling ready and don’t want him to be an old dad? Is that bad? Lol. I have older parents and it’s always been on my mind. I also want them to experience being grandparents.

Now that we have our own place it feels like we could really make a family happen, but I’m worried financially. We’re going to be pretty house poor and I don’t know if/when it’ll get better? I suppose this is just a rant, but any advice or encouragement would be appreciated :)

My husband and I got married last weekend and we’re beyond excited to start our family. We’re both 25 and initially were planning on trying soon after the wedding. However, we decided it’s best to wait until spring 2025 as there are a couple things we need to renovate in our house that would just make more sense to do now versus after baby is here. While it is only a few months more, I feel like I’m struggling with the wait. I’m trying my best to enjoy married life as much as possible. My husband and I have 2 trips planned next month. My friends have also been telling me to enjoy married life before adding a baby. So I’m trying to see the positives to waiting. However, some days are worse than others. My husband and I grew up Catholic and it is frowned upon to have a baby out of wedlock so we waited. Now we are married and I feel like waiting has gotten harder in a way. I guess it’s because now it’s “socially acceptable” to have a baby. That’s why I feel like I’m struggling with the wait more than usual. Anyway, mostly just me ranting. But anyone in a similar situation? How do you cope with baby fever while married? Any tips on how to make the wait easier or prepare for baby to stay hopeful. I have started collecting cute gender neutral baby items and books on my thrift outings which has helped me stay hopeful. Side note I’m someone with massive anxiety about having trouble conceiving which is why I’m so adamant to start trying asap.

I 25F and my husband 26M, are waiting until the new year to start trying for our first child. We have been together since middle school, and have started home improvements to ‘hopefully’ welcome a new bundle of joy in the coming year. However the last couple years have not been good for me, medically. I stopped having my periods about 2 years ago for about 3 months and we found out I had crazy high prolactin levels. An MRI scan revealed I have an itty bitty tumor on my pituitary gland. I have been on cabergoline since February of 2023. About 5 months ago, my endocrinologist decreased my dose significantly and I take .5 mg every MWF. My endo has told me that being on cabegoline should not affect me getting pregnant, but it still makes me nervous. I am also on a few medications for bipolar disorder, anxiety, and major depression. I have all of these worries in my head about not being a good mom, or even worse (to me at least) not being able to be a mom. I was the oldest of 3 and my brother (M24) just recently passed away at the beginning of this year and my sister (F22) was diagnosed with unfavorable stage 2 lymphoma in June. I am in this constant state of worry and panic that my family tree is ‘cursed’ and maybe I shouldn’t add a child to that craziness. I have tried talking to my husband about my fears but he just tells me that everything will be okay and that I should not worry. And while i appreciate him trying to calm me down, I still feel unheard and scared.

So ANYWAY I just really wanted to get this off my chest

Please discuss whatever you would like here! Please be mindful of the rules, particularly any TTC/NTNP announcements. Those go in the weekly thread. As does anything within one month of your start date. Thanks!

My youngest is nearing 8 1/2 and if you would’ve asked me even five years ago if another kid was in my future, I would’ve laughed you out the door. Now I’m married to the most wonderful person and we’re going to be starting our TTC journey after the new year. I’ve already made my appt to have my iud removed, Jan 8th. I am BEYOND EXCITED and so anxious to start trying! I seriously feel like I could explode. I hope it doesn’t go by slowly!

I see/hear a lot of new parents struggling because their baby wants to be held all the time and won't sleep/settle unless being held. They feel like they don't have the ability to do any chores or anything for themselves because they constantly have to have the baby in their arms. I follow someone on Instagram who wears her baby on her front or back during the day and the baby seems to pretty much just chill in there and will fall asleep as he pleases. Meanwhile she can actually do things with her hands. I thought that seems brilliant and why doesn't everyone do that??? I've also heard that in other parts of the world it is very normal/common for babies to be on their mothers' backs so the moms can cook, work, whatever.

Am I being naive and this isn't as easy as it looks? Do yall plan to try this method? Or have you?

Please discuss whatever you would like here! Please be mindful of the rules, particularly any TTC/NTNP announcements. Those go in the weekly thread. As does anything within one month of your start date. Thanks!

I love this sub and it’s been such a help reading all of your posts. I feel like you are all my community and it’s been so great! My husband and I were fence sitters for a long time and gradually realized that we really wanted a child in the long run. We’ve decided to TTC in summer of 2025 and we’re both really excited. We’ve been together 8 years and married for 3 and although we don’t own a house we love our apartment and there is plenty of space for a little one. Financially we’re the most stable we’ve ever been and steadily saving. Everything’s pretty much great!

However, although I’m excited most of the time, the fear of the weight of what we’re doing and how much our lives will change creeps in from time to time. I’m usually able to brush it off and get back to being excited but there are just so many unknowns! Our lives will change drastically and there is so much we just don’t know and won’t know until the baby is here. I guess my question is how do you reconcile knowing you’re absolutely ready with the huge sense of fear/doubts and unknown? What gets you through those moments and what do you tell yourself as a reminder that you can do this?

Just a rant but my husband and I got married last month. We’ve only been back from our honeymoon for three weeks now. Already his mom has made several comments about us having a kid soon. My mom made a comment about wanting a baby around. And yesterday at a funeral, my aunt blatantly asked my mom if I was pregnant (she has some disabilities, I think she was just genuinely excited about the idea of having another niece/nephew pls don’t obliterate her in the comments)

Overall, we’re really not in a place to have a kid. We can’t afford anything but an apartment, housing prices are still insane and renting a house is worse. I start a new job next week and my savings has taken a huge hit recently. We make enough that we put away a good bit in savings every month but that would be nonexistent if we had a baby. Not to mention I’m finishing up my last 2-3 semesters of school.

It doesn’t help that we live in the south and I’m 28. Here that’s basically considered a geriatric pregnancy. Most people start having kids at 20. I’m happy we’ve waited, I’ve done a lot of work on my own mental health and I’ve recently started tackling my physical health as well. I have a better paying job and I’ve been able to focus on me. I’m not ready to transition to parenthood just yet. Idk it’s just really annoying, getting married doesn’t automatically mean I’m going to start pooping out babies. That’s not my only value but it feels like that’s how people think.