Seriously Jenny go fuck yourself. Because I could just swap out one of your perfect kids with some random kid right. No?

And you heard women are more fertile after a miscarriage right? Please, point me to the academic paper you found that in.

Oh your friend got pg straight away did she? I mean I've been trying to shut this conversation down and walk off politely but maybe you're not getting it. I don't want to hear about your friend's kid. I want to hear mine made it and this never happened.

PS we are "trying". Maybe you want to come round to watch and mark our efforts out of ten you utter weirdo. Hell obviously they aren't working so frankly I'd give it a go if results are guaranteed as you seem to be suggesting

Might be one of the worst things to hear after struggling with infertility for years, three failed IUI, choosing to adopt only to have to put that on hiatus because you ACTUALLY CONCEIVED but only found out about it because you were in the middle of a ruptured ectopic. Not to mention having to deal with two friends who were also told they couldn't conceive naturally, are now both pregnant.

[Insert largest eyeroll]

Can someone kill me now?

I don't know if I belong here honestly because in every physical sense I did not lose a child. I was in a coma and in that other place I had a daughter named Anastasia Leigh she was born on Oct 14th at 7:28pm. She had curly brown hair with highlights of my bright blonde and her eyes were as aquamarine as the ocean. She was my world and I raised her for seven years in that world but in reality I was only unconscious for about 3 weeks. Its really fricken hard to explain this to people because to me I lost my child when in reality I am unable to physically have children. When I woke up she was all I was asking for. Its hard because people tell me my loss isn't the same but I remember carrying her, giving birth, the pain, feeling her grow, her voice, I remember everything about her. I know it isn't the exact same but I don't know where else to go at this point. To me she was real.

During our loss we were sent to the EPAU at our hospital for tests, (long story short they didn't know if it was ectopic or miscarriage so we were there ALOT).

At my hospital you start off in the sad EPAU waiting room with everyone there for the same reason and then you have to go for your scan and you go down to the ultra sound waiting room with loads of fucking babies and heavily pregnant women and i'm like WHAT THE FUCK? Surround me with babies and people having babies whilst i'm here to see if my baby is even going to make it. It wasn't a short wait and no one in there even considered that people were there for anything other than a normal healthy pregnancy.

I know of two other women that have gone through the same ordeal in the last 12 months at the same hospital and there is obviously going to be more i just don't know every woman in my town on that level.

So how many of us do you think would have to point out how outrageously insensitive this is to get it change?

I'm beyond pissed off that i had to go through that twice.

Someone just posted in TTCaftercaf and THIS this what I've needed.

So if anyone has gifs the summarize the experience of a friend deciding you aren't friends anymore because you can't see her baby that was due on the same day and that she named the same name as one of your lost twins, I could use it.

Sis a month after losing twins at twenty weeks "So are you never going to want to talk about my son??"

Friend (immediately): "There's always adoption!"

In-law wrote on my facebook: Get to making more babies!

And the piece d'la resistance, my grandmother said while I was in the hospital on bed rest, hadn't lost them yet but it was more likely then not, replied this way when we said we'd name them Sam and Alex....

"Oh no, not another Sam. I don't want another Sam."

Small town problems. I'm sorry, but that pisses me off. Talk about that shit with someone else. I don't give a flying fart that you're excited to see the baby boy that survived this year.

I love when people blame my loss on my stress. /s

This is the third time I heard this at my (former- yesterday was the last day) job. A little background: I worked at a title 1 school that had recently been reopened as a charter school. The kids that had gone there before the change had no discipline and were horrible. They didn't listen, they were openly disrespectful and etc. The administration did not do anything and provided no support. It was the worst.

I first heard this when I was still pregnant. A teacher heard me trying to get the kids to be quiet and settle down and she rushed in to "help". She yelled at the kids telling them that I was pregnant (I didn't want the kids to know) and they needed to behave. She turned to me and lectured me on how I didn't need to get myself worked up. I was angry that she outed me and lectured me about something I knew.

Then, not two weeks after my MC, when I was sad, mad, and hating my job even more, a kid was trying to start a fight in the cafeteria. I lost my head and started yelling at the kid. The same teacher told me again that I need to be less stressed if I want to get pregnant again and make it last. At this point, I already blamed myself. I didn't need another person telling me what I already thought. And I couldn't help being stressed, I had just lost my baby and I had to work with kids who kept asking me about the baby because that teacher told them.

And finally we come to yesterday, my last day. I was saying goodbye to some teachers and a different teacher said how she couldn't wait to see me in August with hopefully another baby bump. A second teacher joined us and asked if I was coming back. I said no because I had accepted a new position. She asked why and I said I just needed something less stressful. She said yeah, especially if you want to get pregnant again and have it last.

I'm so tired of that shit. I can't really control my stress when I work a shitty job. Also, I have an anxiety disorder that causes significant daily stress. I also would like to not be blamed for my baby's loss..

Realized all the nice things I have cause we don't have children. I blew 300 bucks at ulta and didn't even think twice 😏

Thank God my mother figured it out, otherwise I may never have known about the evil devil spirit. It is because we put a dragon decal over the crib. (Dragons and knights theme nursery). Yep, that's why he died, not the meningitis! Thanks Mom!

She also seriously said she didn't feel comfortable in the room and had "extreme stress" worrying about my daughter who sleeps under the same dragon decal. Upon my suggestion that dragons aren't real and decals don't have sorcery or magical powers, she gave me a "you naive child" look and said "she won't go there".

Lol. The shit people think and say /eyeroll.

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Thank you and keep on trollin'!

-WFP3

My body recently decided to not kill one of my babies before birth and as a result I am hugely busy caring for said infant and catching up on some z's.

Some weirdo has been creating multiple accounts and leaving spam and trolling comments then deleting their account. I'm very sorry to those who have had this happen on one of their posts, it's usually a username that looks like a name with 001 at the end.

If anyone is active on reddit and would like to be a mod and can take initiative to remove comments that are harmful to the sub (without removing ones that are genuine responses to our real members posts) then please let me know!

If I can't get this sub actively moderated I will have to think about shutting the sub down because I won't tolerate vulnerable loss parents being abused by malicious people when I can't be here to block/remove/ban the responsible party when it happens.

This sub is a therapeutic outlet to people who are grieving and hurting deeply and it really pains me to see people abusing this space, probably because they don't understand the need for a space like this. I hope that this individual gets bored of that behavior soon.

I am on my third pregnancy. I last saw dr yesterday and got told it's a pregnancy of unknown viability. I am not holding out much hope for it frankly. Anyways, I have had 2 miscarriages and both times I just told my boss who is not based in the same office as me. I took time off for the first one, and worked from home until I felt better. The second one I didn't even take time off while I took Cytotec for it. I was bracing through contractions and working like normal because we were in a crunch. I was allowed to work from home because my boss had miscarriage herself and knew if bleeding starts, it could be a lot. Lo and behold, some bitch thought i work from home too much and complained about it. So now my third impending loss, I told my boss I am just going to take the hospitalization leave the dr will issue me, and for her to please just say I am on leave. However, i do know people will start having questions again.

"What happened to you?" "Are you family planning now?"

I want to say "FUCK OFF!" but I can't because I am civilized, not like these mosey bitches.

What should I say that is subtly sarcastic but also enough to let them know to mind their own fucking business?

I have been pregnant 3 times in the last 14 months. All miscarried prior to 7 weeks. of the very few people I have told and some message boards the common responses I get are:

"Oh, it was so early. You weren't really pregnant" "Oh, it was only a chemical pregnancy" "You already have a child. You should just be happy about that" "You should be glad it ended early because there was probably something wrong with it"

Do people not understand how hurtful and insensitive things like this are?

That with every positive pregnancy test my heart and mind becomes invested in this little bundle of cells that is nesteling into my uterus, that I hope with every fiber of my being, will develop into a healthy baby. That as I start to bleed and the Hcg drops, a piece of my heart dies. That sitting in the OB's waiting room with the heavily pregnant women and new babies is pure torture when I am waiting for an U/S to confirm the loss and make sure their are no complications.

The only things that have kept me sane through all of this is my wonderful, caring, supportive husband and my wonderful OB who is endlessly compassionate and unrelenting in his pursuit to find the problem and help us have a successful pregnancy.

I don't really have a question or need advice I really just needed to give voice my frustration.