/r/beyondthebump

Photograph via //r/beyondthebump

A place for new parents, new parents to be, and old parents who want to help out. Posts focusing on the transition into living with your new little one and any issues that may come up. Ranting and gushing is welcome!

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/r/beyondthebump

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2

PPA & Hydrocortisone

PPA is getting the best of me tonight and I need to ask.. My 6m old is on 0.5% Hydrocortisone cream for eczema on her face and we have been applying it twice a day for a week. Is this something she could get TSW from? It’s only been a week and it’s a low dose. Could her eczema come back worse ?

Please if you have any answers let me know..

0 Comments
2024/12/01
05:01 UTC

1

When did your child stop being a terrible sleeper?

My son slept better as a baby, as a toddler he sleeps so fucken horrible. Fights bedtime like no other, and then wakes up a lot at night and has recently been waking up wide tf awake in the middle of the night and won’t go back to sleep for at least an hour no matter what we try. I’m exhausted sos please tell me there’s a light at the end 😭

0 Comments
2024/12/01
04:48 UTC

1

Champagne and breastfeeding?

I want to pop a bottle of champagne after giving birth to celebrate my baby’s arrival. (Depending on the time she’s born might push it to morning mimosas lol if its too late) but would a glass or 2 prevent me from breastfeeding? I mean I would breastfeed her first thing then pop the bottle when she’s taking a nap… idk lol has anyone done this before?

10 Comments
2024/12/01
04:44 UTC

1

Need help resetting boundaries with family

For context, I’m 20F with a 3 month old baby girl. I’m the first in my family to have a baby in a decade and the youngest out of all my cousins so everyone thinks I don’t know what I’m doing. When my LO first arrived, I made it clear to my parents and close relatives that kissing the baby was off limits. I’m terrified of someone passing herpes or something else to my daughter due to their lack of knowledge. Most of my family’s view on motherhood is outdated. They think my boundaries mainly concerning kissing my baby are over the top. I’ve had people hold her and kiss her and tell me that kissing is good so she can build her immune system. It makes me want to cry because I feel like I’m not being a good mom. My concern is that now that my daughter is out of the newborn stage and people have already violated my boundaries, people won’t listen since I’ve already “allowed” them to do things their way. I’m a very quiet person and it’s really been hard on me. I do everything I can for my daughter and I have to protect her so that’s why I’m reaching out for advice. I don’t need anyone judging me but advice is welcome.

0 Comments
2024/12/01
04:35 UTC

2

4month Old Daily Routine?

I've decided baby and I need a routine before I go mad in the house.

Anyone have a routine that works for them?

So far I my routine is I try to leave the house 1x per day and sniff his stinky little feet 1000x a day.

2 Comments
2024/12/01
04:31 UTC

10

Mamas who birthed unmedicated -

What are some pain relief, relaxation techniques did you use or have heard of? I would like to plan to birth unmedicated because last birth the epidural didn't even really work for me on all of my body, wore off randomly, and I ended up birthing naturally anyway - but I didn't plan at all that I was going to do so, so I had no calming mechanisms and definitely freaked out

48 Comments
2024/12/01
04:15 UTC

3

Insecure about my hair post baby.

That’s it. That’s the post. I have the ugliest thinnest head of hair now, it’s still shedding even more & some hairs are growing back in with the ugliest uneven hairline. I can’t have my hair UP because my hairline is uneven with baby hairs shaping the ugliest hairline & I can’t have my hair down because it’s so ugly and thin that I’m embarrassed of it. That’s it. That’s the post. When did your hair start to fill in again? And did it ever?

2 Comments
2024/12/01
04:15 UTC

5

Why are some families better at showing up postpartum

I've been thinking a lot about family dynamics postpartum, and I'm curious and intrigued about stories of parents who come to stay with their adult children after a baby is born, fully immersing themselves—cooking, cleaning, caring for baby, and being genuinely present to help.

My own experience was very different. My parents traveled to be near us and stayed in an Airbnb for three months after my baby was born, but they only visited for 10 minutes every few days to hold the baby. It honestly made me sad that this way of relating - at an arms length - is kind of status quo for our family and to engage more fully would be so foreign.

I guess what I'm really wondering is, how do I change this engrained family pattern with my own children? I really want to be able to create a different kind of relationship with my son.

For those of you who had parents who really stepped in or, on the flip side, barely showed up, what do you think contributed to that dynamic? How has becoming a parent made you think about your relationship with your own parents? And how are you approaching this in your own parenting journey?

0 Comments
2024/12/01
04:09 UTC

3

First Christmas with baby

LO will be 9 mo at Christmas. I’m curious what everyone does for their littles at that age. What kind of traditions have you started, or is it too early? I feel silly getting her any presents, but I also want to make her first Christmas special.

6 Comments
2024/12/01
03:54 UTC

1

How do you deal with leaking breasts at night?

So I read online that you’re not supposed to wear a bra at night because the pressure can cause your milk ducts to get clogged. I’m already dealing with a spot on my right breast that is getting lumpy and painful. I have to massage it and empty my breast fully, sometimes twice with the pump for it to go away so I’d really rather not make that worse…

But that means sleeping without pads in a bra.

Is everything just going to start smelling like sour milk?

Do I just have to deal with a wet shirt while I sleep?

Or I can sleep without a shirt… but then my sheets get wet…

I can sleep on a towel, but it always bunches up underneath me and then I feel like I’m laying on something lumpy…

Advice?

18 Comments
2024/12/01
03:37 UTC

1

Calf Pain for Over a Month

I have major health anxiety that has been amplified by my recently giving birth (5 months ago). My left calf started feeling like I had a Charley horse in it about a month ago. The calf tightness and pain has been on and off for a month now. I don’t recall it being all day, every day, but when I remember it, I can feel that it hurts. Well tonight I started massaging my calf with a spiky roller ball and my husband really got his thumbs in there and worked out what felt like a knot. I was temporarily feeling okay about the situation and assumed it was just a deep muscle strain. Until I read that DVTs will feel like knots under the skin. I am freaking out. I measured my calves for swelling and they are the same size; the problem calf actually is slightly smaller. I have no redness or discomfort in my chest or thighs. I was pretty swollen with fluid during my pregnancy but I don’t have any visible varicose veins. Has anyone had severe muscle cramps post partum? Or even a DVT?

4 Comments
2024/12/01
02:59 UTC

3

I don’t feel sentimental

Little man is going to be 4 months Dec 6 and I’m realizing I don’t really feel that desire to keep everything from his first year. I don’t take the monthly pictures, I didn’t take photos for his first Halloween or thanksgiving, and I have no issues getting rid of clothes that don’t fit. I see moms getting upset that baby is moving up to the next size, post photos with the cute blankets to show how old they are with cute clothes, photos of family Halloween costumes and matching thanksgiving outfits, and I’m sure I’ll see matching family Christmas pajamas, but I don’t feel excited to document everything and I feel bad.

6 Comments
2024/12/01
02:56 UTC

1

Overbearing mother and new born granddaughter

This situation has been affecting me a lot and I feel like my fiancé doesn’t understand. My mom makes comment that really mess with my head and I feel like it’s affecting my mental health a lot. When my baby was 4 months old my mom made a comment “wait until she knows how to get picked up she’s only going to want grandma”…at the time it annoyed me but I was like whatever…fast forward to when she was 5 months old I had to start working and my mom would watch my baby.. the first couple days her and my aunt would make comments when I’d get home “ baby didn’t even miss her mama” “see if the baby wants to get picked up” I guess to see if baby missed me while I was at work..this was constant for the first couple days..I finally snapped on them and said I get that she doesn’t need me but I don’t want to hear it ..as I cried and clearly mad.. my mom cackled like it just made her so happy how much it bothered me..I asked why are you laughing and she said “ I knew it was bothering you” and I grabbed my baby and went to cry in the bedroom..as I was in the room I heard my aunt ask why I reacted like that and my mom said “she’s just a really jealous person” since then I haven’t felt the same ..I hate when my baby wants grandma ..I hate the thought of my baby wanting grandma more than me.. my baby now is 11 months and my mom has to watch her still while I work..she makes comments “your mom doesn’t know how to entertain you” ..”your mom doesn’t understand what you want” and then she constantly wants the baby’s attention.. she’ll say thing like “look the baby is looking for me” “ she’s crying because she want to talk to me “ (during FaceTime)she always commenting about what I’m feeding my baby because I’m trying to feed her clean not processed..I’m constantly rude to her now and I can’t fight the feelings I have …the days she watches the baby I’m constantly anxious and just hate when my baby wants to play with her..I feel like the first incident when she made me cry 4 months pp really affected me.. idk maybe I’m looking at things the wrong way..

11 Comments
2024/12/01
02:52 UTC

10

Stressed

Hi everyone, I had my baby last Friday (22nd) and he is absolutely perfect. He did however do some damage coming out (third degree tear to perineum) which has been a bit of a struggle to deal with. In hospital I was delirious from lack of sleep, I hadn't slept for two nights before labour and then of course was the actual night before he was born where I was in active labour. I had a lot of issues in hospital with anxiety over medication because I tore (back to that in a minute)and - after finally feeling as if I had recovered a bit mentally and physically - now that I'm home, my baby has caught a cold that I've had since before he was born.

Also as a side note I'm very annoyed that after getting through the birth with only gas and air and paracetamol to avoid the anxiety of medication, I ended up having to go into theatre under spinal anaesthetic (essentially an epidural) to get stitched up after and because of a high temp on the ward, being loaded up with a huge cocktail of IV antibiotics, iron tablets which it turns out I didn't even need, blood thinners and probably other things that I just don't remember. Baby's dad was doing basically everything for us and I feel guilty for how little I was able to do.

I'm terrified for my baby.

It is just a cold but he's so tiny and hearing him cough like that is horrific. He choked a little on phlegm earlier and now I'm scared to sleep in case it happens again. I know I need to because I can't end up delirious again, baby's dad has also caught it now and so he feels terrible too. He says he feels like he can't breathe and I know the feeling.

So here I am, carefully listening to them both breathe, no idea how long this will last and I feel even more guilty because I know they've both caught it from me. I'm hoping baby isn't going to get it any worse than he already does since I'm breastfeeding and have had the cold since a few days before he was born but I had hoped he wouldn't get it at all because of that too.

When the midwives came the other day I told them I was okay because I thought I was but now I don't know how anxious it's reasonable for me to be. My poor boys :(( I just wish I could make them both instantly better.

2 Comments
2024/12/01
02:40 UTC

1

Feeding questions

Hi all My little guy will be a year mid December. Our doctor had suggested we take him down to 30oz of milk over the last few months and work on solids. He eats 3 decent meals, and finishes a good amount of his food. But I haven't been able to cut his milk to 30..he's at about 37oz. He is formula fed now was getting breast until about 10m

He grew a ton! He started in the 3rd percentile for weight and height and he's in the 96% for height and weight is about 80th.

He is active- crawling. Pulling up to stand. Walking a few steps unassisted.

She was saying 24oz a day when he transitions to cows milk. I just don't see that happening rn.

I am working on night weeing, he is down to one feed overnight (12hours of sleep) and i give him half a feeding before breakfast. He is teething and usually wnats more milk at those times.

I know all babies are different. But i am just curious if any similar stories.

My dr is not worried about his diet, he eats a wide variety of food and has all allergies exposures repeatedly, including a variety of nuts.

2 Comments
2024/12/01
02:28 UTC

1

Flat spot

I’m a ftm. I have a beautiful baby boy who is now 4 months adjusted. He has a flat spot. I have noticed it starting to round out a little but it’s still flat, more on the right (his preferred side) but the slight extra flatness is barely noticeable. His soft spot is also a little more to the right. From those experienced, is this normal and will correct itself on its own? I know helmets are not something they did back in the day and I’m not sure if I’m being “sold” the idea of a perfect head when it could very well fix itself.

2 Comments
2024/12/01
01:58 UTC

3

Is this the end?

How did you know when you were done nursing/pumping?

My supply has always been low and she is on fortified formula. I've made just enough to top off the bottles and nurse her in the mornings and evenings. I ended up with food poisoning a couple weeks ago and wasn't able to eat, pump, or nurse for a couple days. This absolutely killed my supply. We have an amazing baby and she can go to sleep nursing or with a bottle. I have some in the freezer, that will last maybe a month if I stretch it.

It looks like I'm done earlier than I wanted and it hurts my heart. How did you manage being done before you planned?

3 Comments
2024/12/01
01:33 UTC

0

Artipoppe 2024

Finally convinced myself to purchase an Artipoppe carrier and I’m never looking back. It is literally the best carrier I have tried and my baby loves it! So comfortable for both of us.

Having a carrier that works with newborns is a lifesaver. I had a Velcro baby, having a carrier saved my sanity.

I recommend the Artipoppe but tbh I recommend any carrier that works for you, I know it is not the cheapest!

I have a code to save $$$, message me if it is of interest.

Save your sanity and start baby wearing!

0 Comments
2024/12/01
01:04 UTC

1

Baby won't sleep

My second was born on Monday and she is much fussier than my first. My first was a pretty good sleeper and didn't fuss a whole lot except for teething. Once we figured out the correct formula for her (she jas a lactose sensitivity) we were all good. This one though, she is very not content. She always needs to be held (I know she's little but it's just so different from my first) and she seems miserable half the time. Night time is beyond hard. Last night she screamed for 3 hours and I think she was having gas pain and constipation?

She was on regular Similac then we tried Similac Sensitive because we thought maybe she also has a lactose sensitivity. Nope that didn't work she still was having intense gas pain and started only pooping tiny amounts, still frequently but very tiny amounts. We are going to slowly switch her to Emfamil Gentle Ease and her pediatrician also recommended gas drops.

I just need reassurance that it's gonna get better and that I can survive this. Sleep is really important for me because sleep deprivation causes my mental stuff to slip.

1 Comment
2024/12/01
01:03 UTC

10

Kyte Baby support?

FTM here. About a year ago the owner of Kyte Baby came under scrutiny and was briefly cancelled for her treatment of an employee who had just adopted a baby. It was awful, IMHO.
At the time I vowed not to support KB. Since then, I’ve lost track of the situation and how KB has handled things since the owner’s apology letter. For those who also found the situation and owner pretty repulsive, where do you stand now? Would you support the company or have you since?

Edited for grammatical error.

42 Comments
2024/12/01
01:01 UTC

52

How did you spend the first few weeks after brith?

I’m curious how everyone else spent their time and if it looks like mine. I’m 2 weeks postpartum, and I’m recovering from my C-section still. Honestly, I spend my time transferring from the couch to the bedroom, holding my baby while he falls asleep on my lap or in my arms or next to me, and I’ve been watching a lot of TV. A little time hooked up to the breast pump. Lots of feeing baby and diaper changes. Yeah, that’s about it. I think I’ve left the house three times in the last two weeks? To grab some food and go to a pediatric appointment. That’s about it.

Anyone else?

71 Comments
2024/12/01
00:58 UTC

0

Stressing over smoke from burning food on stove

I’m freaking out. My husband was cooking on the stove and it got SOOO Smokey. Smoke alarm went off and all. We have windows open and fans blowing and I have an air purifier and the overhead fan on in his room but I’m so stressed he inhaled too much smoke or it’s Smokey or idk. I don’t want his window open because it’s cold and he’s already in a 1.7 tog sack because of the fan being up. I’m sure it’s fine, I took him to the basement as soon as it started getting Smokey so he was away but I’m SO upset. The whole house smells right now. I’m desperate to also find something to help better ventilate our kitchen but we’re in a town home and idk what we can do. I just need him to be okay. I’m freaking that he’s going to get asthma or something even though he wasn’t coughing or that he inhaled so much and we don’t even realize (a la Jack from This Is Us). Will he be okay? Should I do something else? I out him to sleep but should I have taken him to urgent care or something? I know I’m probably overreacting (and hello to my PPA) but as a first time mom this is so unknown and scary to me.

2 Comments
2024/12/01
00:10 UTC

1

Tortícolis, which side is it?

My baby was in the breach position for many weeks when she was born. Born at 37 weeks and a small baby at 5 lb. 5 oz. She is now 4 weeks old. She always favors her left side. When she's asleep, the left side of her face is on the mattress.

Is this left Torticollis or right torticalis?

Does this mean her left neck muscles are tight or her right neck muscles are tight?

Is it too soon to get a consultation?

5 Comments
2024/12/01
00:02 UTC

0

It's too soon

It's happening, the day is coming, the one we hope will come but probably also dread and wish would never happen. My first born, the girl who made me a mummy, my beautiful baby girl is moving in with her boyfriend, she is 21 but I could keep her forever if she'd let me. I can't imagine not seeing her every day, not having her sleep close (in the next room) to have special occasions like birthdays, not just hers but her siblings too, and Christmas without her, she'll be gone before her baby brothers 1st birthday. I'm happy she's ready but not happy she's going. If I let myself think too much about it I cry, and i know if I break down in front of her I'll beg her to stay just a bit longer. She's only going to be around 6 miles away, but it feels like it'll be another plant, a whole new world where my children aren't all home with me (I have 4, 21 years 17 years, 12 years and 10 months) how do we get over them leaving 😭😭

5 Comments
2024/11/30
23:52 UTC

32

Do babies remember hospital trauma

Long story short stay inside this winter.

My 6.5 week old baby is on day 6 of RSV symptoms and day 4 in the hospital with rsv and bronchiolitis. This has been a really heartbreaking and devastating experience. Every couple of hours they have to suck mucus with a deep suction otherwise she can’t breathe properly, she screams bloody murder and it’s the most heart breaking thing I hear it in my head constantly. I’m wondering if babies this young retain trauma from hospital stays like this? Like is she going to freak out whenever I wash her face during bath time bc of trauma with her nose for example? Nurses keep telling me “aww she won’t remember a thing” but I can’t tell if it’s just to make me feel better. Any thoughts or experience?

53 Comments
2024/11/30
23:16 UTC

0

Has anyone bought from this site?

It looks like Stitchy Fish but after I purchased, I realized it’s actually “Dresssnap”.. did I just get scammed?!

0 Comments
2024/11/30
23:14 UTC

328

Baby born today. I feel so traumatized.

New dad here. Baby was born around 530. Her and mom are doing really well. Everything went about as well as one can hope for a first time birth; only in active labor for 2-3 hours. The thing is the whole birth was probably top three most traumatic moment of my life. And I've seen a dude get hit and killed by a car 10 feet in front of me. Like that whole 3 hours, I wanted to be anywhere else. I feel like such trash because of it. Not to mention, I'm having these crazy feelings of like regret and pain. Like my whole life is now upended. I didn't emotionally prepare for this the last 9 months at all. I thought I was but I'm just not. I dont even know what I'm feeling like at all. I guess I just need words of encouragement.

204 Comments
2024/11/30
22:48 UTC

4

I don’t feel ready for my child to turn one

Like literally where has the year gone!? But also when I was pregnant I researched so much about newborns and babies and I have done none about 1+ cause I’m so godamn busy all the time.

Any tips/tricks/milestones/advice I need to know??? I know you learn in the job but I’m just overwhelmed today.

5 Comments
2024/11/30
22:40 UTC

1

Postpartum Underwear

I just want some comfy post partum underwear that is actually high-waisted. I've tried 2 "high-waisted" kinds and they stop 2 inches below my belly button. They don't need to be super tight just want a pair that is actually up higher so it doesn't bother my stomach as much while it shrinks.

3 Comments
2024/11/30
22:13 UTC

1

Swimsuits

Postpartum and having a hard time finding swimsuits that have a big enough top. 32F. Any suggestions? In Canada.

0 Comments
2024/11/30
22:12 UTC

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