Just tired of how men lie just to get what they want 😢😢, like seriously are there still true , loving caring man out there ???

I will be a teacher, and I'm an introvert. It's possible????

Because you don't want to hurt others feelings, are willing to go to war for them ? (When I said war, I mean participating social event, gatherings and noisy places...etc)

Hey up buddies! Im Léon(22m) from Taiwan.

Since i felt a lil lonely these days and just wanna have someone to talk to or just pour it out:)

If you feel the same way whether you’re sad or upset let’s just pour it out and share some pieces of your daily wit me would be appreciated! Hope we can find our way move forward together!

I always see and hear these advices for beating loniness, accept being alone, find out things you love and do it and so on, but I wanna know if any of these advices helped you having friends or beating loniness?

How do I improve my confidence and self esteem as a shy, quiet 30 year old man? I always felt this way since I was a kid and I don’t feel good about myself at all. I can never speak up because I’m worried what people will think of what I say or fear being ignored completely. I’m pretty short at 176-177 cm, Asian, skinny 145 lbs. I’ve been working out for a while to improve myself and got larger(used to be 135lbs) and gained some abs(thanks to no body fat) but what’s the point if no one even sees and knows about my body?

I guess I am just annoyed and confused. I basically don't have a problem fixing issues with people but this one I am unwilling to fix.

This person I was seeing, I was seeing them on and off for a year since in different parts of the country

I am an introvert. I always have been. It's a core of who I am. I love solitude and being alone. I feel energized and at peace in my own company, with my shih tzu at the foot of my bed.

I think people misunderstand what introversion actually is. So people like me and I am popular and a lot of people want to get to know me I guess you could say.

Essentially the person I was dealing with has low self-esteem and admitted to me he was talking about me to others and other people think I don't like them. And then blamed my facial expressions which was awkward. I also gave quotes by Steinbeck and Dostoevsky and then he used those quotes to say I am lonely (he didn't know Dostoevsky is a writer but tried to play it off). He told me the reason I am talking to him for a long time is because I am lonely. I just find it weird because I have more acquaintances than he does. I told him 'no... I am "choosing" to talk to you.'

For him his introversion introversion is a trauma response so he sees it as an affliction if you will but I had to just cut him out.

I was at a Big Tech company and was accused of having a mental illness because I was just coding and doing my job (this was in a marketing department) when I left that department and was around engineers I received glowing reviews. He knows the trauma that caused.

Also think it's misogyny to be honest to think women have to be smiley but even women I know who are extroverted people will accuse them of that too.

I am a conventionally attractive engineer and people of all races and genders get mad at me (even introverted men) because they think I don't like them?

Told him in the end I am an engineer and that most engineers/scientists are introverted and that he should respect my introversion. And I also said "aside from Obama, if extroverts were so great, where are their Nobel Prizes?"

What activities do you do on weekends to avoid loneliness?

I had a relationship 7 years long, out of which 6 years were super long distance (different country on different side of the world).

We were suppose to get married next year, but she decided to break up. There is a long story behind breakup. I waited for 6 years for her.

If I had to explain it in short, she didn't want to come back from other country where she studied masters and currently working there. It's not like that its completely her fault, there was lots of emotional disconnect from my side because of the long distance.

Physical presence of her always mattered to me, I badly needed her to be physically present by my side, which probably have created the disconnect. However I never stopped loving her.

Before this mess up, I used to be a very strong & independent kind of person, always kind of prepared for handling anything bad (except emotional stuff, which I now realise).

I am an introverted person, don't have much friends. A few of them who were there, either left the city for work or are now married have their own family. I am now 30 years of age, probably a bit old as per the society.

Primarily I now have no one to talk to. Earlier I used to talk with her over phone (my night time) I used to be satisfied enough with talking with her. Now I have nothing, can't even express my feelings anywhere.

I decided to do something for myself, which will make me happy. I started going out on the weekends all alone. Travelled to a few places had some great time, focus on my hobbies but I always missed her during all these.

I make descent amount of money fortunately, which allowed me to have luxury like travelling, buying stuffs for my hobby. So I decided to make more travel plans to make myself happy.

However recently a part of my income got affected because of the current economic situation, it is not like that it will affect my livelihood but I will have to be very careful about my spendings going forward which means I can no longer have those travel and other luxuries.

I understand that this economical impact may happen at any time, however it just bad timing for me.

I always tried to help people specially friends, her. She always tells I have learnt a lot from you (even now), basically I was there whenever people needed me, when they were in trouble or looking for advise in difficult situation etc.

But whenever I am in trouble I have no where to go, no one to talk to. I feel like I am alone on a desert and somehow trying to survive.

I am ok to be alone, I enjoy my own company. However sometimes I also feel very lonely it seems like no will be there in this world for me in future in absence of my parents and everything in my life is kind of going wrong these days.

Im m19 and i feel alone at this part of my life. I have nobody right now and for some reason all this creates a feeling of vulnerability. Its like i want someone to dominate me. I dont know how to feel about this. I just know that something that would make me feel better is to get dominated. Something like a mommy dom thing. I dont know how to feel about that and i would like if anyone would give me any advice to cope with this problem. Or someone to dominate me. Whatever comes i guess

So, few days ago I realised that I have been asking a friend only about exam preparation, how was their test, etc. It's because I can't find any other topic to talk to her and also, most the time I meet her, it's either before the exams or after. I mean, whenever it's another topic, I have realised that she engages in the conversation but she has been avoiding me for some time and I think the reason might be that she doesn't want to talk about exam or any quiz. But the problem is that I don't have any other topic in which she might be intrested. So, what should I do?

So,I'm a 20M who started college this year . I had taken a gap year after my high school and that year of loneliness made me lose any kind of interest in conflicts. Now I like to go about my own business and this has been bothering me in my college. There is a rube guy in my class who tries to bully me all the time and I, being a non-confrontational person, just try to ignore him .The more I ignore ,the more it emboldens him. I have been holding myself back for the past three months and keeping my calm coz I think he is beneath me and I got better things to do .I have made few great friends though and I don't think he is worthy enough to get on my nerves . Anyone else who has gone through the same ordeal ???

I always feel extremely lazy about the thought of going and missing sleep and ruining my circadian rhythm. I feel I’m such a grandma for that.

my roommate and i are both pretty hardcore introverts. we rarely have people over to our dorm room and when they do come, they never stay for long. semi recently, an acquaintance started coming over and staying for an hour at least and bringing her dog over. he’s a small dog and very sweet but he does the small dog thing and gags and coughs a lot. this girl also drains both of us whenever she comes over.

tonight, my roommate and i were watching a movie when she knocked on the door. we usually respond with “come in” if we’re in the room and the door is unlocked and when we did, she opened the door and let her dog in. she then noticed that we were watching a movie and pulled up a chair and motioned for us to unpause the movie. throughout the entire thing, she made misogynistic comments about the women in the movie and was just acting all around gross. when the movie was over, she stayed sitting behind my roommate for another 30 minutes.

my roommate and i both have decided that neither of us want her coming around anymore as she misses social cues about us wanting her to leave, trauma dumps some HEAVY stuff, and heavily drains both of us. how do we tell her that we don’t want her coming over anymore? both of us are not great at advocating for ourselves but any advice or ideas would be great.

thank you!

This always happens with every relationship I get into.....Every time I meet someone, we talk/chat through texting, on the phone, not as much in person due to conflicting schedules and weeks can go by where things are just fine.....

And then it happens - every connection I formed with a partner this year and in years prior.

3 maybe 4 weeks into our relationship, I wake up one day and I feel.....heavy, maybe feeling burdened or possibly burnout....I dont know precisely but I want a break from my role or just simply to end things so I can feel free and role-free

It's a sickening feeling, like I dont want to talk to this person anymore even though we've been infatuated with each other for weeks....They haven't done anything wrong, nothing bad happened. I just feel smothered and I need a social-break

Why does this happen?

Does this happen to anyone else? How do you deal with it?

I know it has something to do with my social battery and how easy I can be overwhelmed and need space....I just dont understand anymore how I can deal with this barrier to happiness in my romantic life and find long-term happiness

Is my introversion going to force me to become single forever because I can't cope with being attached to my partner?

Introverts are more talkative and wild if they connect with their own vibe folks.

Opinion: While I think introversion and social anxiety are related, they are two different things.

You can be one without the other. For example an extrovert may have social anxiety however, that doesn’t necessarily mean they are an introvert.

I find it quite annoying when people think being anxious when talking to people automatically means you are an introvert.

Although that being said, I don’t think it’s uncommon for introverts to be socially anxious, probably a lot more commonly than extroverts are.

I myself am introverted but recovered from social anxiety and really don’t have much worry talking to new people but I crave being alone and find social settings tiring.

I want to hear others opinions, I’ve always believed introversion included having a lower social battery and/ or craving more time alone as apposed to around other people.

obviously the world is better suited for extroverts in more ways than one, and i know a lot of my fellow introverts can attest to this. but you you like the way that you are?

i entered college thinking it be the time for me to come out of my shell and that i’d magically turn into a cool party girl but i found all of it so draining. i’d rather just spend my time studying, working out, and occasionally hanging out with a close friend or two. part of me feels as though i’m missing out on this phase of young adulthood, but am i really missing out if a flourishing social life doesn’t appeal to me?

i love spending time alone but i also feel lonely a lot. i prefer listening to others but i also want people to truly listen to me. i like how i am but i also want to be different.

can anyone relate to this at all?

lately i realized i love being alone. almost to a fault. when i’m with friends, i realize id rather be alone. when i’m with a potential romantic interest, i realize idc about it/i’m not invested and that i just wanna be single and alone. but then i start to worry… is this bad?? i know humans are “social creatures” as the common saying goes, and i worry this is me disconnecting from everyone. but then again, i’m happy, so it can’t be that bad, right?

Tldr is the title.

I work at a domestic violence agency. I was minding my own business cleaning and messing around —when a client came to the back door in some type of crisis.

I had to ask them to go around and use the front door instead of the back door( that was an entrance/exit for residents only, sp I pointed to the side of the building that has a sidewalk or the street to drive.

They were visibly annoyed immediately upset and suddenly showed me a cane that I didn’t notice before. They said “I most certainly WON’T—I’ll drive my self over.” And I was like “ oh!:)” not thinking much of it. Rules are rules.

I was thrown did by this reaction but continued around front, where they had already verbally berated me through the speaker/intercom.

I open the door and they made some speech about how they’ve never been asked to go around being a person of a disability, and that they were gonna tell my coworker what I did.

I held the doors for them as they had a cane but I opened the doors on my left to give them as much space as possible.

On the second door, they start mouthing off to me about how they can’t believe this and that and then they WHACK me in the back of my left ankle!

They held their cane in their right hand but got my left ankle. They when they hit me, they said “oh well excuuuse me!” I couldn’t even turn around at that point.

I mumbled something about the waiting room and thanked them for their patience asI follow policy. And then I ran to tell management who didn’t really say much.

I’m home now and limping. It hurts when my heel hits the ground. It’s fun.

I feel like I’m gong to be sick and can’t stop thinking of what I could have done to deserve it.

Not just being scared or nervous to, actually incapable of projecting their voice. Anyone else. Been my experience through my entire life. Even when Im alone and wonder if I can, what comes out is awkward and pathetic. Its like my voice simply doesnt work well

I’m a pretty independent person who doesn’t like asking people for things. I try to do as much as I can by myself so as not to bother others, but it’s also because way too many times in my life friends, family, and acquaintances will promise to do something for me and just never come through.

I never ask, they just offer to help me with something or do it for me but when the time comes they don’t do it. Or they drag their feet and barely communicate with me about it. I always try to refuse the offer but they’ll insist and then when they don’t follow through I’m forced to either badger them about it, wait it out, or just do it myself like initially planned (only more annoyed). I don’t understand why people do this. What’s the point??? I didn’t ask for the help. I had my own plans but then they offer and I adjust things to include them and they don’t do it.

If anyone reads this sorry for the horrible grammar and sentence structures. I just needed to vent about this since I’m in the middle of readjusting plans AGAIN🙄

For example, in school I will just be minding my own business and then when the end of the days comes, I'm out the door as quick as possible and then some random person says "why do you walk fast", like I'm not intentionally walking fast, I just want to get home back to my bed, and even if I was, why does that person even care?,or if I'm just sitting in my class minding my own business and then the moment I say something to someone else who I wasn't even talking to, it's "Shut up,(my name). It's like they want to beef with you even though you don't want it... it's just weird to me, like why can't I just be left alone and do me?

I have no friends in the city. Gah. Djsjakakajsksks.

Let me preface this by saying, I love my son. He is the best thing that ever happened to me. I love hanging out with him. He’s hilarious. He’s creative and his brain fascinates me.

However, I have always been the type of person that needs to recharge by being alone. I know that as a parent, you sacrifice a lot of things for your children… alone time being one of them

But I feel like I’m losing my mind. I can’t even leave the house and go out to my car to grab something without him having a meltdown that I’m gone for two seconds. I absolutely feel like I need some alone time or “away” time, even just for a couple hours. Of course I feel Mom guilt because I shouldn’t want to be away from my son, but I really do want to be away from my son just for a couple hours. Anybody else struggle with being an introvert and being totally socialized out by their toddler?

His dad always has alone time himself. And that’s because my son prefers to hang out with me… am I wrong for wanting to get away from my family? I feel guilty even typing that 🧐

We have 3 new people at work that need constant feedback. The customers that come in are also very talkative and don’t catch on to hints that you need to step away or are busy and can’t quite talk so I spent a lot of my day dodging people. When I stayed after work to donate, I had my headphones in and I was nose-deep into a show on my phone but still constantly had people coming over to talk to me. One girl didn’t notice I had earphones in and actually got a bit tiffed that I wasn’t listening to her talk and thought I was ignoring her.

Then I have my grandpa and his doctor call me. I love my grandpa, I’m not so much venting on him rather than the situation. He has an insulin pump and a blood glucose reader that is ran by 2 different phones. His doctor kept telling him do to one thing that would confuse him, so he’d call me to complain and ask for me to straighten it out. So I had to deal with his doctor telling me he needed to do things he had already done. Then I had to call grandpa back to tell him to do the things he had already done…again. It was 30 minutes on the phone navigating him on an Android (I’m an Apple user), with him being barely able to tell me exactly what it was he was seeing on his screens. A game of 50 questions.

My social battery is gone. I feel like my day started beautifully with my favorite gloomy weather, and now I just feel tense and jumpy because of all the people I’ve had to put up with since 7am this morning.

Even my cat is getting on my nerves.

Edit: a couple of hours later and I’ve had nonstop calls from my grandpa and now my aunt. I tried to watch a YouTube video and couldn’t even get through it because they started calling. It’s on stuff that they should know how to fix; a high glucose reading. We’ve dealt with this for 30 years. They can’t tell me they don’t know what to do for it.

Imma lose it.

I'm (40 m ENTJ) involved with a woman (40 f INFJ) in a long distance relationship. We met about 8 years ago in my home country and had a couple of nice dates before she returned home to Japan – but kept in touch since then because we shared many similar interests and had the same taste.

Fast forward to this year in March when I travelled to Japan for a visit and had planned to catch up for a coffee and a chat. Of course, we ended up becoming attached and decided to try a proper relationship. Everything was amazing.. I travelled back there for another week in May (staying at her house) and came back recently to stay with her for 3 weeks.

In July (after the second trip) my gf out of nowhere asked me if we could stop chatting so much (throughout the day – both matching each others energy) which caught me off guard and kind of made me freakout a little. She kind of backed off and cut off communication for about a week or two until I could finally talk on the phone and explain how it made me feel. She seemed shocked that it was causing me any anxiety (i've heard that sometimes during an episode of withdrawing, some INFJ's can lose their sense of empathy?)

Anyway we got through it and at this stage she told me about INFJ and that I should read about it (a warning I guess?) and asked me to do an MBTI test which was no problem for me. The next couple of months were a bit of a rollercoaster with her being her happy self and withdrawing to recharge batteries. One peculiar thing was that I really wanted to understand her – but increasingly when I would ask about her feelings, or her life in general she would become more and more irritated. To the point of where I would be afraid to ask “how was your day?” by the time September came along.

In general – at around the 6 month mark anybody regardless of personality type will show their true self in a relationship. So I'm really struggling with holding onto the girl that I knew for 8 years – or accepting the possibly true version that came out once she was comfortable in a relationship? She seems to be extremely avoidant (I asked her to take an attachment test during a rough time and she got pretty angry). I've tried my best to stay positive no matter what.. which got me thinking that maybe accepting the bad behaviour means that it's acceptable? Maybe I should have been harsher – to show consequences? But that would be manipulative and my true feelings are that I love her and don't want to play games like that, I'm trying to be accepting and understanding.

The worst part about it was after the September trip (in which she expressed plans to find an apartment for us, and took me to meet her mother.. which is a big deal in japan) – about a week later I felt comfortable enough to ask on a Saturday night “are you getting upto anything cool tomorrow?”. Big mistake. Her texts changed from english to rapid-fire japanese sentences.. after translating they were “I hate this question” “why do you always ask this question” etc. And nothing has been the same since. I should have givn her space to cool off after this – but I was so shocked I tried my best to talk things through for the next 30 days.. only to be left on seen and disregarded.

I have a pretty severe situation with abandonment from childhood so the giving space thing is difficult. Anyway – I somehow managed to give her 5 days of space this past week and she finally agreed to have a chat last night. It started out well – and I had planned to take it easy. Her replies were all cold one worded replies with periods “ok.” “thanks.” so that would indicate a pretty dark mood. Of course after a month of not being able to communicate in a dialogue, I kinda slipped up and sent maybe 6 paragraphs worth of feelings... to which I got a reply of “you know I hate too much texting” and the famous “i'm tired”. It took me a while to realise that “i'm tired” from her doesn't mean sleepy.. I always was confused because it would be 5pm or something sometimes when she would say tired lol.

Anyways I've probably missed a lot of context or important points but my main point is: is it possible to save this relationship? I've tried things that would normally appeal to INFJs (trying to initiate deep conversations, being supportive and kind.. but they all seem to be rejected as if I've betrayed her trust, cheated or murdered a family member). I'm really stuck on how to get things back on track...

She has bounced back from dark periods like this before and it's been great... but I'm not sure if I can survive this happening over and over again if it becomes a habit. It's heart-breaking. I plan on giving her a week's silence from today. From what I can gather from the very limited information she's given me – is that she has been in training for a new job this past month. So I'm hoping once training is over she will come back to being normal? But if this is how she reacts to stress in life... I love her dearly, but I'm not sure if I'd even be 'allowed' to try and support her as a partner. Towards the 'end' of our relationship (I'm probably in denial but I feel like being broken up with over asking "how was your day" isn't fair) she expressed a couple of things repeatedly like “I'm bad for you” “I'm a selfish person” but I just took them as throwaway messages.

If you have any advice I'd love to hear it. Primarily I'll try to give more space.. not send any huge text messages. Maybe just send some photos as nice memories? I've tried being super nice – which doesn't seem to register. Early on I tried gifts and flowers which were all rejected.. I was even scolded for ordering flowers for her birthday. I'm assuming the rejections of gifts and things are more a result of the cause of the avoidant attachment so that's a whole other issue. But I imagine if an INFJ was damaged in a bad earlier relationship, then the last thing they would want is tokens from future relationships.

Just writing this it sounds like I'm delusional.. like this girl really must hate me. But then again, she took me to meet her mother.. was looking at apartments for us.. let me stay at her place for weeks even though INFJs need alone time. So there was some effort and love there. Perhaps 3 weeks living with a partner was just way too overwhelming and it caught up with her?

If you need clarification on anything, please feel free to ask away in the comments. Your help with this would be extremely valuable.. I feel like my mental health has taken quite a bashing through this.