What I mean by that is that we hardly talk to each other at our fast food job. We work two days a week together. We say maybe one thing (unrelated to work) to each other a day. But he came to my birthday party. He got me a really great gift and was one of the first to come and last to leave.

We’ve gone back to normal. He has people he almost prefers talking to over me. We don’t say a word to each other.

I just got out of a relationship that lasted a couple years. Im 21 M and it feels like a big shift. I dont know what life is like without having someone counseling my big decisions, and it gets boring not having someone to text when you’re not together. I really just want someone I can nerd out about random stuff (music specifically(omg i love muuusic)), and have someone to talk to again. Hmu for any kind of discussion that you find interesting, and im sure i would find it fun to talk about too!

I'm in debt from school ( I don't even want to think about how much ) and on top of that I am barely scraping by with rent and groceries. I can make it, but I've never been so stressed about something in my life. Is this normal??? Are other people experiencing this?? I'm 21 and a junior in college.

My roommates are all well off with parents who can easily give them the money they need and I am not in the same situation. My parents try their best but we have always been very poor. I usually have less than 100 dollars to spare after I pay rent each month. I just want to know that there are other people in the same situation as me because it makes me feel less alone. Logically I know that tons of people are in the same situation, but it's a lot better to actually get a response from someone saying that I'm not alone than to just tell myself.

I know a lot of people live paycheck to paycheck, but my student loans make me feel infinitely worse. I've had to take loans out for every semester. I try to save up during the summer the best I can but it's just not enough and during the school year I can't work nearly as much and the job I have during the semester pays me like shit.

I've reached a low point in my mental health again it seems, despite doing everything I'm "supposed" to. I'm not considering anything crazy, I just want to do something different. This is the last week of my second try at a college semester and I'm going to fail at least one class out of four. I feel so pathetic and like a failure and just want a break without seeing anyone. I'm tired of falling off the horse over and over and getting back on it just to fall again for years without making any progress.

I'm thinking of just leaving a note or texting before leaving my phone at home in a way that doesn't give suicidal vibes. Otherwise they'd definitely freak out and call the police.

When I cut contact, my father told me I was nothing without him, that I wouldn’t be able to do life without him helping me. But I’m doing it. It’s not easy, but it’s nowhere near the impossibility he framed being alone to be. I’m applying for CalFresh, and was able to apply for and receive help through the healthcare access program. I’m working two jobs and an unpaid internship. I’m applying to grad programs and searching for scholarships, grants, and other funding opportunities to help me achieve the education I want.

It’s not how I pictured my last year of college, but I’m so much happier. And that makes everything a little easier to manage. I have hope for the future and I know that I can do this!

All my life I thought I knew what love was bc I had liked a boy from end of middle school to mid high school but after talking w/ my bestie I have some doubt about whetever he was my 1rst love or 1rst crush... I'm 21 btw so yea th for your answers!

Everything I do I have to do it myself, and I have to do it first, whether it’s opening a door or saying “hello” or putting something away

Whenever I’m not the one who does it I have a meltdown (or want to have a meltdown)

Why is this

Sometimes I wish I was never born. If I had the choice to be born or not be born, I would choose to never be born. So much easer that was.

That's it.

I don’t even want to have an amazing time or anything I just want to stop being miserable and take care of myself yet every single day it’s a massive struggle that I end up failing.

On top of the original feelings I have that are making me depressed, I also feel guilty and ashamed I can’t just stop being this way. What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I just take care of myself. Why can’t I just do the things I’m suppose to do? I’m 26, I’m meant to be young and happy or something. If I’m not happy now how am I going to be happy when I’m old? This life is so hard. I am trying to have hope but whenever I am sucking so hard how do I convince myself that one day I won’t suck. I don’t know how not to suck at this point.

If I don’t change I’m going to die in my 50s, but I still can’t force myself to change. I wish there was a switch I could flick to change everything I hate about myself. I hate myself so much. I hate how I don’t do what I want to do. I hate that I hate that. I hate that I’m writing this. I hate that I’m not there for myself. I love a lot about myself and I care about myself, and I don’t think I am a bad person who deserves to live like this, so why can’t I just be there for myself?

Why.

Honestly why do I even write things like this? Idk. Does anyone relate? Is this too much? Idk. I feel even more pathetic after writing this but I’m gonna post it anyway whatever

// Rant over sorry that’s a lot of complaining and negativity

There I said it. I (22M) am getting tired of feeling like I'm still confined to my mom in one way or another.

Long story short, I just feel like we're budding heads in multiple areas. We don't despise being around each other, but we're growing different opinions and motives in our lives. I'm just tired of feeling like nothing is changing as we're quickly getting older.

For one, I'm exhausted living in our area. We've been here for 10+ years and it's coming to shit. Crime, influx of people who don't care about others property, no real community, gotta drive everywhere, seasonal depression, the same old, same old. I want a new environment.

Our house still has stuff everywhere (not like hoarder everywhere, but it's noticeable) that my mom still continues to buy certain things. God forbid if I make any mention of it. While I try to minimize things within my room, I'm just outgrowing it.

I also think the bigger picture here is the independence. She finances both of our cars thankfully. But I don't want her to do that any longer. Insurance raised on the car due to my grandparent sending it into the woods by accident and causing over 6K in damages. I'm back to actively looking for some small minimum wage gig to help pay off the car until it's time for my summer internship.

The topic of said internship: my second FAANG internship (or big tech internship; recently finished one this past summer in Colorado). Housing is paid by the company and I will still receive bi-weekly paychecks. It's in an area of LOVE within Silicone Valley. Been there multiple times, and I think it's more so me loving a new environment and people than me wanting to move there as it's expensive.

With upcoming money from my taxes, scholarship refund, and working (hopefully), I'm expecting to save and consider options sometime next year. Goal is 10K which isn't hard. Funny enough, I anted to maybe consider getting another car with that money, but that's a dumb idea at my age. Rather pay the car I have now off and just keep it for a bit until I can grow my potential startup I'm working on. Honestly very off topic, I hate driving. I wish I could sell the thing right after. I have a $2,000 EV bike I got for $600 brand new in Colorado that I'd shipped back home this past summer during my internship. No car note or insurance sounds great. Can't ride it anywhere over here without the worry of it being stolen unfortunately.

Our family finances aren't always the best. She took on a timeshare with my siblings biological dad for 20K I kept mentioning to not take. But I will say we're actively looking at downsizing our expenses and maybe surrender my car. I got a bucket I can kick around in fr.

Again, we don't have animosity in our household. I'm just ready to build my life. I've been within my hometown since I was born. Being exposed to different views within your life will make you understand there's more to life than what I'm used to. I want the same for my younger sibling. I know many people say to stay with our parents as much as possible within your early 20s and just build, so I need guidance on such a big decision.

I have forced myself to be more angry and emotionless since I was young, and I have been doing it for so long that I won't even let myself be happy sometimes. I have done it because I always felt ignored whenever I wound speak, so I just stopped myself from speaking, and when I did speak people would put me down making me feel stupid, now a lot of people say that I am rude because the way that I respond is "dry". If I have nothing to say I won't say anything, I'm not trying to be rude, I literally have nothing to say, so I don't say anything, if I'm really not being rude I will nod my head or 'mhm', something like that, or I just forget to respond. People make me feel stupid for even trying sometimes, especially my family, and it just makes everything ten times worse, I even started to stutter really bad, everyword I wouldn't be able to get out properly because I was stuttering my family and people around me would just laugh at my struggling, and that would set me back again.

I think because I often shut myself down and don't let people see my emotions, the vulnerable side of me, no one really knows how much of a sensitive person I am, and how emotional I really get from things, they probably think that I am a brick wall and have no emotions, but in typical girl fashion, I don't show any signs of me being upset so no one knows and I just expect them to check up on me or something, and if something is actually wrong I don't tell anyone, but I also don't really trust anyone to be able to tell.

(But the thing is there is also a possibility that I am autistic, my mum just never wanted to get me diagnosed)

why yall so salty in the comments 😂 stay mad

Live in the UK, I'm 18, finished school in the summer.

Never had a job before since I needed to focus on school. I'm on a gap year before university now and really need to build up my savings before I go, but I'm having 0 luck in trying to get a job, it's been months. My cv is about as good as it can be having no previous experience and I've applied to so many different places in my town and the neighbouring one. I've gotten 1 interview, turned away from everywhere else.

What kind of stuff can I do to get extra money while I'm applying for jobs?? I'm not good with hands-on work, I've considered babysitting but I've no idea how to get word out about that,, I don't really trust online surveys and have nothing to sell. My parents are waiting until I have a job to start charging me rent + my phone bill but I really need to build up my savings before uni. I live in a tourist-based town so getting a job in the winter when all the chain businesses keep rejecting me is near impossible. I'm free to work any day of the week with any hours, but I just can't seem to get past simply applying.

Its just stressing me out, any tips on how to get the word out there on any sort of babysitting jobs / other income while I'm trying to get a proper job??

Ive been going through shit all week but this really takes the cake. ive been waiting THREE weeks for my first paycheck because i came in the middle of the pay period and i finally have it. YET the payroll manager did not put in my direct deposit info when he should've so my first check is a papercheck. my bank is sofi and cashapp and since i dont have money in either (because ive been unemployed for several months.) they arent letting me deposit my check. ive tried chime and they arent letting me either for the same reason. i found a check cashing app named ingo money but THIS is what they are saying EVERYTIME i scan my check and i KNOW yall see full bars and service. so far my only option is to go to the store and cash it but wtf ima do with all that cash???? idk how to drive i walk everywhere i need to buy or i buy shit online. i was gonna buy a electric bike with my check i have a few PERFECT cute ass electric bikes saved with an AMAZING deal so it will be easier for me to commute everywhere especially to work. but ofc if it aint one thing its the next. can someone PLEASE help me with an app to just cash this check so i can buy the shit i need and pay bills.

This is a long story I’m about to tell. Im adding in all the details I know so people can have the full picture. Polite criticism is always accepted! I’m starting to question if his family likes me and if I am going to have to deal with this ex until she gets the message or? This starts back at the end of 22’ beginning of 23’ and goes to now end of 24’.

So I met my fiancé back in May of 23’ at work. He had recently gotten out of a 6.5-7 year long relationship back in September of 22’. We will call his ex fiancée D. They dated throughout high school and I can tell that at one point he really loved her (which is fine I knew we were gonna have previous partners). I couldn’t tell if he was over what had happened between them or not. (He did woodland fire fighting and was gone during fire season; D cheated on him with a couple of his “friends” during that time). However, after they broke up D moved on and started dating someone I grew up with, this is a same sex relationship (this is important for later) so I wasn’t worried about anything. We end up officially dating at the end of May. Our relationship goes great until the middle of July 23’. I guess she started messaging him again. Asking about how he’s doing and that she wanted to meet back up. I guess she asked multiple times before he told me she was messaging him. He told me that at first D wanted to check in with my fiancé. Then when that didn’t happen she wanted to meet up to see the dogs (they had 3 dogs together and she only took one when she left). Next, that it was she needed money for an “electric” bill that supposedly went to collection in her name from when they were together However all the bills were in my fiancé name; I saw the bill she was talking about. After that she wanted closure. Finally, in September/ October of 23’ D told him that the reason she really want to see him was to reconcile because she still loved him. Remind you she still is dating my friend. I was beyond upset, she had left almost a whole year before and she comes back when our relationship is getting serious. He told her to speak with her now partner and that it wasn’t appropriate to say those things to him because he has moved on. I asked him to block her on social media because to me that was a big red flag that she was willing to try and separate our relationship. He told me he blocked her and we moved on. Of course they have mutual friends so I’m sure she would still try and keep tabs.

Man I was wrong so during the rest of October we continue with our relationship by this point we are six months deep. D starts trying to add me on everything! FB, IG, and SC to name a few I didn’t add her back. She’s messaging me and I’m not responding because I feel awkward. I also felt like she was trying to set me up to run into her. I say this because a mutual friend of ours would offer going out for drinks and as soon as I mention that my fiancé and I planned on going out already and could meet up with our mutual friend ;she would make an excuse. Our mutual friend then would post pictures of D and her the same day we were supposed to go out. I shrugged it off. Now it gets wilder; come November 23’ and I found out that I was pregnant. We didn’t announce it to anyone but family and like three friends. When we told his family his dad made a comment “This is a mistake”, sipped some beer and left. At the time I took it as we rushed into things; I can respect that opinion. I mean it hurt but now I’m wondering if it’s because his dad likes his ex more? We didn’t announce it publicly until December. We made a big FB post and tag all our family in it! We got a lot of support! However, afterwards D gets on social media and makes a huge post about how 3 years ago my fiancé and her went through a miscarriage. I only saw this because a lot of mutual friends were commenting on it. I ended up giving her my condolences. (Miscarriages are horrible! I really care about this so much so that my business is helping couples have children of their own!). Although, I felt like this was a little push back to us announcing. Kind of like he was mine first, type of boast. That was the last I heard of her for a couple months because in February 24’ we moved out of state. I guess she was asking friends of ours what we were doing and they told her that we moved. This had her trying to reach out to family members of mine; she started adding them on social media. Remind you I did not know D before I got with my fiancé.

Besides that everything was amazing for a couple on months after that. Or at least I thought it was. I now know that I was just living in ignorance bliss. Our 1 year anniversary was in May 24’. We got engaged! I found out later that he didn’t even tell anyone that we were engaged or that he was going to propose to me until his family made a comment that they found out through my social media post. I felt like a AH cause I figure he would have told me he didn’t tell anyone afterwards when I said I was going to post it. During this time I was getting notifications that she was going on my TT page and looking at it. At first I didn’t know it was her until I looked at her page. Her name was unrelated to her and her profile picture was of nature from what I remember. I just ignored it and continued on with life. We attended a wedding and went back home to celebrate the baby shower with his family in June. Had our son in July. My mother-in-law came out to see him in August , it was a good time! I have been spending the time since my sons birth to adjust to being full time stay at home mom. Welp one day in October i notice he was getting a TON of calls and text. He usually gets calls for work. So I just assumed something happened in that department. This lasted for about 2-3 days in total. On day 2 I get on my social media and see all his family posting about how D was missing. She posted a goodbye of sort on her social media. Posting about how she wanted children and she was never going to have that. My friend, she was still dating as far as I know of, has a son from a previous relationship and since they are same sex they have to go through IVF to have children. I also had our son at this point too. Although at this point I didn’t think that she knew our son was born. She was very clear when she first messaged my fiancé that she only wanted a family with him and no one else. That she was struggling and the world was cold. Don’t get me wrong sharing the post isn’t what triggered me. I was really confused at this point because they all said they didn’t like her and didn’t associate with her really after they broke off the engagement. D did work where his parents did so they had a coworker relationship. However, something felt off. I chose to ignore it at this point.

A couple weeks later I am looking for baby pictures of my fiancé on social media because that was the only place that might have some according to my fiancé. While I’m going through the pictures on his family’s account I notice his old engagement pictures up still. On his parents pages. They were calling her daughter and how they are excited. I was kind of hurt for a couple reasons. 1. The most I got from them was a congratulations, no post, nothing. 2. I specifically asked him to make sure to get photos. I suffered brain damage as a teenage and have short term memory issues. Pictures help trigger memories for me! He did not. 3. I asked him to get on one knee for the pictures. He sat the ring on our Togo boxes from dinner and handed me the boxes so he could get in the car. Then asked me after I asked him what the box was. 4. I know they know how to delete cause all the other photos of her are gone. 5. It wasn’t the best proposal because he was grumpy from work and didn’t want to go to out but wanted to do something special for our 1 year. We didn’t go to the actual restaurant I picked out because it was an hour away and he complained about it earlier in the day (over text). I chose a little mom and pops restaurant that was close to us. I tried to find the silver lining in it. It was our one year and I love him. But it got worse from there cause I just tried to ignore the photos and continue looking for more baby photos of him. I notice that the times I have went of there for family festivities I have been left of out the photos his family post of the time spent together. I snapped after this and my brain went into overdrive. My fiancé lets me go through his phone so I did.

I see that he didn’t block D and that-she has been messaging him. She sent her number to him, asked to meet up, and the topper messaged him 2 days before our son was born to tell him that she loves him. I go back to July 23’ and see my fiancé lied and told me he wasn’t going to meet her. But the messages show he tells D to stop by anytime. She’s stocking him on IG and I figure out that is how she knew my son was born. I also see that his mom was telling him to give D money for the “electric bill” and him saying okay. He told me he was not going to give her money.

I confronted him on this and he said that he told D to stop by before I expressed my unease at it. He later told her no after I told him. I asked why she wasn’t blocked and was still messaging him that she loves him. He told me he forgot to block her on IG and would do it. He blocked her while telling me that he never responded to D after I expressed my unease about the situation the first time and he also didn’t respond when his family, her family, and friends were calling him when she went missing. I was so upset that I couldn’t stop crying. I brought up the engagement in total and asked about the photos because I specifically asked for them. He told me he didn’t know why and that he admitted to rushing it. He asked me if I wanted him to redo the proposal. I explained that it’s a once in a lifetime thing for a girl that’s what we are told growing up. Heck it didn’t need to be grand he could have gotten on one knee in our back yard on a walk and had a family member hide and take pictures. People already know that we got engaged and I would feel stupid. I asked for engagement photos instead, he said ok. Well so far I have been the only one to mention it and he told me to just figure it out and let him know. Can he not find a photographer or ask family to take some photos on their phone? At this point I just kind of want to redo cause I feel like it’s just a sh** storm.

I asked him if the relationship between his family and I was not what I thought it was because of the photos. He held me because of the crying and informed me that his family knew D longer and that is all. His parents worked at his high school they both attended. That they like me but want to get to know me more. I understand that and have been thinking of ways to build our bond. I think he told his mom because all of the sudden she was messaging me more and saying she loved us all; referring to our son, fiancé and I. My mother-in-law still has the photos up. I know I can’t tell her what pictures to have up but they really bother me. On top of that I see that she re added D on social media all of the sudden these past couple of weeks. I also know I can’t tell her who to be friends with but I’m wondering if my hunch is right or if I am paranoid?

My mental health has tanked since October and I can hardly sleep now. I feel a-lot of emotions and just don’t know what to think. Am I overthinking? Do I just need to build a bridge and get over it? Am I justified? Please tell me your thoughts!

Do you prefer virtual relationships or irl relationships?

I’m 20F turning 21 in February. I’m in my third year of college I have a year and a half or two years left. Once I’m graduated I should have a business admin degree in HR, and I can’t wait. I am so eager to get on with life. I feel like a teenager still living in my parents basement going to school and not having a job. I work in the summer and I feel like an actual member of society then. I just feel like I’m stuck in this lingo of being considered an adult and treated like one but also feeling like a teenager and not taken seriously.

Like I can’t wait to live by myself and stress about bills. Dream life.

What I mean by that is that we hardly talk to each other at our fast food job. We work two days a week together. We say maybe one thing (unrelated to work) to each other a day. But he came to my birthday party. He got me a really great gift and was one of the first to come and last to leave.

We’ve gone back to normal. He has people he almost prefers talking to over me. We don’t say a word to each other.

Do you feel 'respected' by them? Do they see you as a '*kid'? Do you still see them as figures of 'authority'?

19M - Scared of being alone forever

So I don’t exactly have the best history when it comes to girls & dating. My choice in women has been questionable to say the least. It seems I always find myself forming bonds with girls who aren’t there mentally, however this is not a bad thing. I have usually enjoyed this (not in a weird way!) as me being there for somebody has always worked out for them and always helped me with my struggles. A few months ago I got into a argument with this girl who I was about to be official with, but things went south and she ended up getting with somebody else a few weeks later, someone who shares the same name with me despite me being by herside for nearly a year.

I won’t get into it but the whole situation broke me. I had a really difficult year due to anxiety and depression. I couldn’t leave my house for a good 70% of the year as my anxiety would put my body on shut down and I’d start throwing up. Nevertheless I tried my hardest throughout the year to deal with this anxiety, and from the begining this girl knew about it, and as time went on she became less bothered by it and took my actions personally, which is completely understandable. We then stopped talking due to a misunderstanding and next thing you know shes with somebody else, who says is a rebound, tells me he is everything i was supposed to be, etc etc.

Consequently, this caused me to completely give up. I quit my job. Dropped out of uni. Shut out everyone i know. Quit social media. I essentially ‘killed myself’ in some way.

I remember when we first spoke and she heard about my previous relationship before her. She told me that ‘I deserve so much love’. A statement which she later on wanted to be the one to fulfil, yet she never did it.

My question is, is it wrong to want to be with someone who supports you no matter what. Someone who you can rely on no matter how rough things get. I still have alot of people cut out my life right now, and truthfully i am scared of letting people back in, however I am also scared of being alone. I just think I need someone to be a backbone for me like I have done for others, but as a man I feel like thats not fair.

So a while ago, my parents were discussing about how so many parents are irresponsible they let thier kids eat junk food all the time the kids become over weight. My brother responds with " It does not matter if a kid is over weight!"

It does if they do nothing about it.

Doesn't that sound a bit ignorant?

On thanksgiving break. Been wondering what other people do when they have a large amount of spare time

Or they seem so "old" in comparison to you?

I grew up with an emotionally distant relationship with my mom due to abuse. All I wanted was nothing more but to cut her off and become fully independent. After graduating, I lived accross the country with hardly any contact outside of a handful of phone calls for nearly 8 years. However, I recently found out from a relative that my mom has been suffering from a lot of health issues and I am fighting with conflicting feelings. Part of me really regrets the years of distancing myself and feels guilty for all the lost time with her. But the other part of me is still hurt she chose my abuser over me as a child.

I try and forget and forgive as I now can rationalize her past actions and understand it is her first life too but it also just feels like there is such an empty hole inside me.

I think my 6 year relationship is about to end soon. Either mutually agreed or not, that is still unclear.

I 22f have been w my bf 22m for 6 years. We met freshman year of highschool and have essentially been inseparable.

We have worked at the same company for 4 years now, and have also been living together for the last 3-4 years now.

There is no spark, no drive, no effort, nothing. And it’s been that way pretty much the whole time. I’ve tried to break it off last year but I was too afraid. And again I am so afraid.

How do you throw away 6 years of your life. I still have to live with him till April when our lease is up, and then what? Move back in with my mom who is struggling already with my older boyfriend who moved back home? Not to mention we work together. I got the job first so he always said he would quit, but he just got promoted to manager so we would be stuck together.

After all the mistakes, issues, arguments, etc I chose to forgive all of them. Just to stay together. But I’m exhausted, and I don’t feel loved and according to him he feels the same.

How does one fix something so broken, or make the choice to start new?

It’s so fucking stressful. Gahhh

DAE? Particularly anxious people or men

I am a 22 year old adult and I still behave like a 17 year old kid. I turned 18 during the pandemic and 2 years ago when the pandemic was over and the lockdown was lifted, there was no difference between my 17 year old behaviour and my 20 year old behaviour although it should have been much different. When I asked my family members, they said it's okay, it's because I didn't step out of the house for 2 years due to the lockdown and didn't deal with any responsibility, everything will be fine within few months, but now a lot of time has passed and I am going to be 23 in January but there has been no change yet, I often feel embarrassed because of these actions. If anyone has any suggestions, please tell